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1
00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:07,241
Okay, I'm getting
the Burnt Brown Sugar,
2
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:08,542
you get the
Peach Caramel
3
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:10,211
and we'll give
each other bites.
4
00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:11,579
No, I'm not doing that.
You take giant bites.
5
00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:13,914
I can't help it.
I have a huge mandible.
6
00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:15,116
I had six wisdom teeth.
7
00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:16,684
That's ironic.
8
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:18,286
I know, right?
9
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:20,921
Hey.
Hey!
10
00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:22,156
You know, there's
a donut place
with no lines
11
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:23,724
right around
the corner.
12
00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:25,293
Why do we have
to stand here
for an hour?
13
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:26,794
You'll understand
when you taste it.
14
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,096
And by the way, you're getting
mocha cream cheese
15
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:29,063
and you're giving me a bite.
16
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:29,930
Not with that mandible.
17
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:32,032
Hey, no cuts.
18
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:33,867
Oh, it's okay.
We're saving their place.
19
00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:35,936
Tough luck. No save-sies.
20
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:39,407
Oh, come on.
They're friends of mine.
21
00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:43,144
And if you let them in,
you can be my friend, too.
22
00:00:43,211 --> 00:00:44,445
(chuckles):
No.
23
00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:47,748
I'd really appreciate it.
24
00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:49,817
Ah, sure. Why not?
25
00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:53,754
What the hell?
26
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:55,956
Don't' worry about it.
It happens all the time.
27
00:00:56,023 --> 00:00:57,291
She's a really good flirter.
28
00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:59,293
God, what's going on
with me lately?
29
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:00,661
I'm getting nothing.
30
00:01:00,728 --> 00:01:02,596
I mean, no one's looking at me
at stoplights,
31
00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:04,532
no one's hitting on me
at the supermarket.
32
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:06,700
Got home from the bank
the other day,
33
00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:10,671
and then I had an entire boob
hanging out.
34
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:11,739
No one noticed.
35
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:14,542
My good one, too.
36
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:15,609
That one?
37
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:17,345
No, that one.
38
00:01:18,146 --> 00:01:20,181
It's so depressing.
39
00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:22,483
It's like I've lost my mojo.
40
00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:24,952
You know, I think they might
have mojo replacement therapy
41
00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:26,154
for women you're age.
42
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:28,556
How long is this
going to take?
43
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,524
I have to pick up Joe
at the airport in an hour.
44
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:31,992
Oh, your brother's coming
to town?
45
00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:32,993
I love Joe.
46
00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:34,428
Yeah, everyone does.
47
00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:36,764
He's sweet
and charming
and gorgeous.
48
00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:37,865
Like his brother.
49
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,768
Yeah, kind of like that.
50
00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:43,337
(sardonic laugh)
51
00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:45,773
I'd be mad,
but you're right.
52
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,441
He really is awesome.
53
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:49,577
In high school, he dated
three girls at the same time,
54
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,545
and when they found out,
they didn't care.
55
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,147
because even a third of Joe
was better
56
00:01:53,214 --> 00:01:54,515
than a whole of any another man.
57
00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:57,451
I don't love that phrasing.
58
00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:58,852
You're going to love him,
59
00:01:58,919 --> 00:01:59,920
but not too much, okay?
60
00:01:59,987 --> 00:02:01,355
Don't worry.
61
00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:03,591
You're the only Campbell I love,
except for Glen.
62
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:05,593
My mom always listened to him
growing up.
63
00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:07,595
Hey, is he still seeing
that girl?
64
00:02:07,661 --> 00:02:09,497
I don't know.
Is he even alive?
65
00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:12,700
No, not Glen Campbell,
your brother.
66
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:15,203
Oh, no, he said
that didn't work out.
67
00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:18,406
Man, that guy goes through
women like I go through...
68
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:21,008
less-attractive women.
69
00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:22,710
Hi, sorry about the wait.
70
00:02:22,776 --> 00:02:25,413
Here's a little
sample of our newest
cupcake flavor,
71
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,415
pineapple-vanilla custard.
72
00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:33,621
Mm, why am I not always eating
pineapple-vanilla custard?
73
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:38,259
This is the best thing I have
ever had in my mouth. Mmm!
74
00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:40,027
What's the big deal
about a cup...?
75
00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:41,895
A-a-ah...
76
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:43,197
ha-a-ahh!
77
00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:45,666
Don't you think
it's a little sweet?
78
00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:50,638
I mean, gah-ah-hah!
79
00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:06,754
(knock at door)
80
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:09,390
Oh. Who's there?
81
00:03:09,457 --> 00:03:13,494
We, we don't have anything
to steal!
82
00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:17,498
Try the neighbors.
83
00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:19,267
They, they have a sticker
that says they have a dog,
84
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,869
but they don't have a dog.
85
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,237
It's Joe.
86
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:26,974
Joe? Oh, my God!
87
00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:30,043
God, Joe!
88
00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:31,845
Christine, how
you doing?
89
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:33,414
Oh, come on in!
Wow!
90
00:03:33,481 --> 00:03:34,715
What are you doing here?
91
00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:36,684
I thought you were
staying at Richard's?
92
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,686
Yeah, I was.
I just couldn't sleep.
93
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:40,888
New Christine and Richard
were in the other bedroom,
94
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:42,690
and then the sex started.
95
00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:43,991
(gasps) Oh...
96
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:47,094
Yeah. There were sounds coming
from that bedroom
97
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:50,431
that you've never heard before.
98
00:03:50,498 --> 00:03:52,900
Oh, believe me,
I've heard them before.
99
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:54,435
(chuckles)
100
00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:55,936
I'm not sure it was Richard.
101
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:58,138
Oh, it was him.
102
00:03:58,205 --> 00:03:59,707
It was pretty high-pitched.
103
00:03:59,773 --> 00:04:02,109
Yeah, I know,
kind of like a donkey
104
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:03,577
having an asthma attack?
105
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,880
Then a series of yips?
106
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,516
Followed by a slap?
107
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:11,118
Oh, the slap.
You should have waited.
108
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:13,721
He was almost finished.
109
00:04:13,787 --> 00:04:15,923
A couple more grunts
and then a...
110
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:18,459
"Uh! There it is!"
111
00:04:18,526 --> 00:04:19,960
Then you would have been done.
112
00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:24,932
Okay, Richard's completely
ruined sex for me.
113
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:27,167
Same thing happened to me.
114
00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:28,936
(laughs)
115
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:30,103
But don't worry.
116
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:32,105
No chance of sex noises
in here.
117
00:04:32,172 --> 00:04:35,208
I mean, if you hear a grunt,
it's just me bending over
118
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,944
to pick up a sandwich.
119
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,579
Come on. You look fantastic.
120
00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:40,914
I would pay good money
to see you bend over
121
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:41,949
to pick up a sandwich.
122
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:43,451
Hey, I'd do it.
123
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:46,454
Hey, listen, I'd offer you
the guesthouse,
124
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,188
but, um, Matthew's
in there, so...
125
00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:49,156
Still.
126
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:50,123
Yeah. I mean, actually,
127
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:51,492
we have a deal:
128
00:04:51,559 --> 00:04:54,595
If he gets a job
or I get remarried,
129
00:04:54,662 --> 00:04:57,030
then he has to go, so...
130
00:04:57,097 --> 00:05:00,000
we're pretty much in it
for the long haul.
131
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,170
The couch is fine.
Okay.
132
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:04,772
Hey, I'm sorry
if I woke you up.
133
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:08,041
No, no, I was just
gonna watch a movie in bed.
134
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:09,176
Oh, really? What movie?
135
00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:10,277
Oh, it's just a girlie thing.
136
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:11,311
You wouldn't like it.
137
00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:12,480
Hey, I watched
138
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,047
Akeelah And The Bee
139
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:15,048
on the flight over.
140
00:05:15,115 --> 00:05:16,650
I was sobbing so much,
141
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,886
the flight attendant had
to give me a set of wings
142
00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:19,887
to calm me down.
143
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:20,988
(laughs)
144
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,022
Come on. What movie?
145
00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:23,991
Um, Men Don't Leave.
146
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:24,958
Is it good?
147
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:26,360
Yeah, it's pretty good.
148
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:31,499
Jessica Lange plays this woman
who's, um...
149
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:35,436
(voice breaking):
uh, whose husband dies and...
150
00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:37,104
All right, I'm in.
(laughs)
151
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,474
Hey, you got, you got any wine?
152
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:43,343
Oh, gee, I don't know,
but, oh, my goodness,
153
00:05:43,411 --> 00:05:45,112
look what I just found.
154
00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:48,882
Hee-hee!
155
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,123
(stifled sobs)
156
00:05:57,425 --> 00:05:59,126
You can let it out
if you want.
157
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,695
No, no, I can't.
158
00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:04,297
I'm afraid if I start,
I won't be able to stop.
159
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:08,602
This movie brings up
a lot of stuff for me.
160
00:06:10,438 --> 00:06:11,739
I know.
161
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,774
Even though I knew
Akeelah was going
162
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:15,308
to win that
spelling bee,
163
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:19,246
when it actually
happened, I, uh...
164
00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:23,050
I, uh...
165
00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:26,386
Are you making fun of me?
166
00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:28,088
Yeah, I am, yeah.
167
00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,057
(both laugh)
168
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:32,860
Ow! Oh, God!
169
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:34,762
Oh, sorry.
170
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,930
I'm not usually that messy.
171
00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:41,669
Hey, so what's going on
with you?
172
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,170
Are you seeing anyone or...
173
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,404
Oh, no.
174
00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:46,540
A few prospects,
but nothing serious.
175
00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:47,908
How about you?
176
00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:51,211
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't introduce you.
177
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:54,314
Joe Campbell,
meet Kendall Jackson.
178
00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:56,083
(both laugh)
179
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:59,653
Actually, I'm going
through a bit of
a dry spell myself.
180
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,789
I think I might
have lost my mojo.
181
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,323
Well, I just sat
in something wet.
182
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,324
Could that be it?
183
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:05,659
Oh!
184
00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:16,003
* Whoa, yeah, yeah. *
185
00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:27,948
* Whoa-oh, oh, oh, oh. *
186
00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:37,157
Oh.
187
00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:39,059
Oh.
188
00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:42,362
I guess we fell asleep.
189
00:07:42,429 --> 00:07:48,035
Yeah.
190
00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:49,903
This is weird.
191
00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,940
A little.
192
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:07,921
And now weirder.
193
00:08:11,759 --> 00:08:16,096
Matthew, Matthew, something
bad has happened!
194
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,031
I slept with Joe.
195
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:18,832
Uncle Joe?
196
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:20,601
(gasps)
197
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:23,503
No, no, not Uncle Joe.
198
00:08:23,571 --> 00:08:25,639
Why would Mommy sleep
with Uncle Joe?
199
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,507
Mommy wouldn't do that.
200
00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:32,412
But Mommy might hide
five dollars in your room
201
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:33,881
because you're
the best little boy
202
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:36,216
in the whole wide world.
Go get it!
203
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:37,551
Wait.
204
00:08:37,618 --> 00:08:39,519
Last time you said
there was five dollars
205
00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:40,688
in my room and there wasn't.
206
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:41,689
And that's why I hid
207
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,123
ten dollars in there this time.
208
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,357
Go on! Get in there!
209
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:45,826
Go, go!
Yay!
210
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:48,562
Why didn't you tell me
he was underneath the table?
211
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:51,899
I didn't realize
you were about to
scar him for life.
212
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:53,333
What, so you had sex with Joe?
213
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,702
No, I slept with Joe.
214
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:55,903
He came over last night
215
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,871
and he's gonna sleep
on the couch,
216
00:08:57,938 --> 00:08:59,539
but then I invited him
to my room to watch
Men Don't Leave.
217
00:08:59,607 --> 00:09:00,574
Which one is that?
218
00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:02,109
Oh, it's that one
219
00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:04,144
where Jessica Lange
is this woman whose, um...
220
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,647
(sobbing)
221
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:07,748
whose husband dies...
222
00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:09,016
Okay, get on with it.
223
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:12,419
Anyway, um, okay,
we watched the movie
224
00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:13,687
and then we fell asleep
225
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:15,088
and nothing happened,
226
00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:17,390
and then we woke up
and he kissed me.
227
00:09:17,457 --> 00:09:19,026
Well, congratulations.
228
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:20,961
You've now been with your
cousin, new Christine's father
229
00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:22,830
and you ex-husband's brother.
230
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,666
You're almost ready to start
dating outside the family.
231
00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:28,902
Hey, he kissed me, okay?
232
00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,771
We woke up together,
he looked at me
233
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:32,172
and he found me irresistible.
234
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:33,540
(gasps)
235
00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:34,975
Oh, my God, do you know
what this means?
236
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:36,543
Joe's gone blind,
he lost a bet,
237
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:37,978
you're the last woman on Earth?
238
00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:39,747
No!
239
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:42,082
I got my mojo back, okay?
240
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:43,416
A man desires me.
241
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:47,520
A handsome, vital,
successful man desires me.
242
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:50,123
So you're really going to go
for it with Richard's brother?
243
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,324
No, no, I can't
244
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:52,993
It's too close.
245
00:09:53,060 --> 00:09:56,964
I mean, although, I have to say
he is a fantastic kisser.
246
00:09:57,030 --> 00:09:59,633
He does that thing
where he holds your face
247
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:01,134
when he's kissing you,
you know.
248
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:05,605
I just love that...
Oh, seriously, I'm calling Mom!
249
00:10:05,673 --> 00:10:06,573
Oh, I'm going to have
to tell him
250
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,141
it's not going to work out.
251
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:09,576
Oh, poor guy.
252
00:10:09,643 --> 00:10:15,015
Sometimes a taste of honey
is worse than none at all.
253
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:18,218
Yeah, sometimes.
254
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:20,587
Hey, he likes me.
255
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:22,790
He kissed me.
I'm back!
256
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:25,192
Oh, I'm going to have
to let him down easy.
257
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:35,135
God, that is nice.
258
00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:44,311
What happened to my room?
259
00:10:44,377 --> 00:10:47,547
Oh, sorry, I tidied up
a little bit.
260
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,316
I was going to do
under the bed,
261
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:52,519
but I thought
I saw something blink.
262
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:55,689
Wow, it's beautiful.
263
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,691
Like a Holiday Inn.
264
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:01,962
Look, uh, Joe,
we have to talk.
265
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,067
I think you're great.
266
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:09,536
Okay, and I'm sorry
if I led you on
267
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:14,207
by inviting you into
my crumb-filled bed, but...
268
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:15,208
I'm gay.
269
00:11:15,275 --> 00:11:16,576
No, it's because
270
00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:18,311
you're Richard's brother.
271
00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:20,948
No, Christine.
272
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:22,582
I'm gay.
273
00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:25,585
What?
274
00:11:25,652 --> 00:11:29,589
I've been struggling with it
for a long time now.
275
00:11:29,656 --> 00:11:32,793
And I wasn't sure
276
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,461
until I kissed you.
277
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,301
Then I knew for sure.
278
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,535
I am gay.
279
00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:44,504
Hey, hey...
280
00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:45,906
Not nice.
281
00:11:45,973 --> 00:11:47,707
Oh, no, I don't
mean it like that.
282
00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:49,609
Come on, please,
you're perfect, see?
283
00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:51,011
That's how I knew.
284
00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:52,445
If I wasn't going
to feel it with you,
285
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:55,448
then I wasn't going
to feel it with anybody.
286
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,718
Then I kissed you.
287
00:11:58,786 --> 00:12:00,587
That was it.
I am gay.
288
00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:02,622
Okay, okay.
289
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:04,624
I get it.
You're gay.
290
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:05,692
Yep.
291
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:08,061
Does Richard know?
No.
292
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:10,864
You're the first person
I've told.
293
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:12,499
I'll get around to Richard,
294
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,502
I'm just not really ready
to talk about it with him yet.
295
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,005
Yeah, that's probably
a pretty good idea.
296
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,941
He won't even eat
a banana in public.
297
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,213
Oh, come on!
298
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,615
We've gone around
the block four times.
299
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:30,217
Look, the line's getting longer.
300
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,886
Frou Frou Cupcakes needs
their own parking lot.
301
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:34,521
Or a drive-thru.
302
00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:36,089
Oh, that would be great.
303
00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:37,891
Then I could go bottomless.
304
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:40,794
Didn't you learn your lesson
at the car wash?
305
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:43,230
I didn't know
you had to get out.
306
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:45,833
Look, if it's too much
of a hassle, we can skip it.
307
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,467
It's just a cupcake.
308
00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:52,739
Joe, this is not
just a cupcake.
309
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:55,675
Obviously you've never had
a Frou Frou in your mouth.
310
00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:58,511
Oh, I didn't say anything.
311
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:00,180
All right, you know what,
just let me out.
312
00:13:00,247 --> 00:13:01,781
You guys keep looking
for a parking space,
313
00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:03,116
I'll wait in line,
314
00:13:03,183 --> 00:13:04,784
but I get a bite
of both of yours.
315
00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:07,687
Now when she bites your cupcake,
the important thing is to keep
316
00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:09,022
your fingers tucked in.
317
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:13,093
Oh, great.
You saved my place.
318
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,262
(sniffs):
What is that flavor?
What did you eat?
319
00:13:15,328 --> 00:13:18,365
Is that cherry cheesecake
with a...
320
00:13:18,431 --> 00:13:20,033
(sniffing)
321
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,301
graham cracker topping?
322
00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:23,170
Stop smelling me.
Get off me.
323
00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:25,572
Oh, excuse me.
324
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,540
Do you have any more samples
of the cherry cheesecake?
325
00:13:27,607 --> 00:13:28,909
I'm sorry,
we ran out.
326
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:32,579
You sure you don't have
just one more?
327
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:34,547
Maybe in the back?
328
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,184
No.
329
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,052
Ma'am, could you please
take your hand off my arm?
330
00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:43,090
Ooh, burn.
331
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:44,992
Man, you really
have lost it.
332
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:46,994
You can't even flirt a sample
from a sample guy.
333
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:48,495
Okay, yeah.
334
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:49,863
I get plenty of samples, okay?
335
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,031
You have no idea
how many samples I get.
336
00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:52,532
I have not lost it.
337
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,534
Come on, Christine.
There's no shame in it.
338
00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:55,768
So you're having
a dry spell.
339
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,104
Happens to everyone.
340
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,772
Not everyone.
Not me.
Not me.
341
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,208
I guess it just
happens to you.
342
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:03,043
A lot.
343
00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:05,278
Then why'd your brother
kiss me this morning?
344
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,780
Oh, shoot.
345
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,316
You'd better be kidding.
346
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:10,783
I am.
347
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:11,885
Oh, good.
She's kidding.
348
00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:13,353
She's not kidding.
349
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:15,488
You're not kidding.
You and my brother?
350
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:17,190
What happened?
What did you do to him?
351
00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:19,492
I didn't do anything.
He kissed me.
352
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:21,161
Were you fooling around
when we were together?
353
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:22,795
Was he that hang-up
on our machine
354
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,031
when we got back
from our honeymoon?
355
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:26,133
No.
Of course not.
356
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:29,036
Nothing is going on.
He's gay.
357
00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:30,737
Oh, shoot.
358
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:31,939
What?!
359
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:33,806
I shouldn't have
said anything.
360
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,609
You're lying.
361
00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:39,812
He kissed me, and then
he told me he was gay.
362
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,881
Wow, that's worse
than a dry spell.
363
00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:44,517
Turning men gay.
That's like a superpower.
364
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:47,220
I didn't turn anyone gay.
365
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:48,855
This is my brother
you're talking about.
366
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:50,823
He's been with more women
than the three of us combined.
367
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,426
I told you that
in confidence.
368
00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:54,962
It was my year abroad.
369
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,229
It was Sweden.
370
00:14:56,296 --> 00:14:58,131
They love Americans there.
371
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,836
Richard, you can't
say anything to him.
372
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:04,972
I don't believe you.
373
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:06,773
Don't.
Let's just drop it.
374
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:08,141
Oh, look, the line's moving.
375
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:11,078
Save my place.
376
00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:12,179
I'm going to go
feed my meter.
377
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,446
Richard, don't you say anything!
378
00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:14,481
Oh, damn it.
379
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:16,849
He's going to
say something.
380
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,218
Mmm.
381
00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:19,352
What is that?
That's like...
382
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,488
(sniffs):
It's like Oreos.
383
00:15:22,622 --> 00:15:24,624
Oh. Sorry.
384
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,294
Yeah, it's Oreos.
385
00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:34,401
Boy, your sister's
not neat, is she?
386
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:37,904
"Neat" isn't even one of
the top ten things she isn't.
387
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:41,975
This is either a chicken tender
or an ear.
388
00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:46,113
Well, I've got honey mustard
and a Q-tip in the cup holder,
389
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:47,547
so either way
we're covered.
390
00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:50,150
I need to talk to you.
391
00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:51,251
Matthew, get out.
392
00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:52,819
I'm waiting for my cupcake.
393
00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:54,387
They're coming.
394
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,555
Go put some money in my meter.
I'm up the street.
395
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:56,789
I don't have any change.
396
00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:58,725
There's a quarter
on the dashboard.
397
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:06,199
I'll figure something out.
398
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,103
This is bad.
399
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:11,838
It was no big deal.
400
00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:13,306
It was my junior year.
401
00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:15,808
In Stockholm the nights
last, like, 16 hours.
402
00:16:15,875 --> 00:16:17,644
There's nothing else to do.
403
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:20,747
No! I know Richard
is going to tell Joe.
404
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:23,216
Why do I have to have
such a big mouth?
405
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:25,352
Why does Richard have
to have such a big mouth?
406
00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:30,123
Why did I have to spend
my semester abroad in Belgium?
407
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:32,659
Gay?
408
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:35,562
Are you kidding?
409
00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:37,730
Dude, it's me.
410
00:16:37,797 --> 00:16:39,066
Dude, I know.
411
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:40,533
But why would
she say that?
412
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,535
All right, I wasn't going
to tell you this,
413
00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:44,237
but we were hanging
out last night,
414
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:46,973
and she was telling me
about how lonely she's been,
415
00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,208
and I felt bad for her.
416
00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:50,643
And then this morning
she kissed me.
417
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:51,944
I didn't know what to say.
418
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,547
So, I told her I was gay.
419
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,349
It was the only way
to get out of it
420
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:57,684
without hurting
her feelings.
421
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,619
Oh, my God.
422
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,221
That makes total sense.
423
00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:02,722
I mean, not that I would've
cared if you were gay,
424
00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:03,890
because I don't care.
425
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:05,092
Last week I had
some pinot gris.
426
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:07,227
It was nice.
427
00:17:07,294 --> 00:17:09,096
Ha!
What?
428
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:11,164
He's not gay.
Richard, you told him?
429
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:12,399
Of course I told him.
430
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:14,334
He's my brother.
My straight brother.
431
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:16,969
He denied it?
I can't go into
the details.
432
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,205
He asked me not to say.
433
00:17:18,271 --> 00:17:20,273
But if you
ask me questions,
434
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:23,476
I could probably
answer them.
435
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,578
Okay...
436
00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:28,215
What'd he say?
437
00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:30,417
He said he told you
he was gay
438
00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:32,552
because you were into him
and he wasn't into you,
439
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:34,020
and he didn't know
how to get out of it.
440
00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:35,888
Boy, you asked
the right question.
441
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:37,257
He kissed me.
442
00:17:37,324 --> 00:17:39,226
I can't believe
he's lying about it.
443
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:40,493
Okay, I'll be right back.
444
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,961
Don't say
anything to Joe.
445
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:43,696
I won't.
Then where are you going?
446
00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:45,265
Something about Ritchie.
447
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,735
Where's Joe?
448
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:49,969
Dumping the trash.
449
00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:51,037
He cleaned out
the back seat.
450
00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:52,472
Oh, by the way, that smell
451
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:53,706
we thought smelled
like a dead squirrel?
452
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:54,774
Bingo.
453
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,709
Hey, Matthew,
454
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:57,977
do you think Joe is gay?
455
00:17:58,044 --> 00:17:59,078
I thought he kissed you.
456
00:17:59,146 --> 00:18:00,580
And then he told me he was gay.
457
00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:01,714
Which is fine.
458
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:03,116
But then he told Richard
459
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,284
he only said that
to get away from me.
460
00:18:04,351 --> 00:18:05,652
What do you care?
461
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:07,287
You said you didn't want
to be with him anyway.
462
00:18:07,354 --> 00:18:09,456
If he's lying
just to get away from me,
463
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:11,558
then it means
I've really lost it.
464
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:13,893
But if he's gay,
then it's not me.
465
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,728
Well, he's probably gay.
466
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,330
Aw... thank you, Matthew.
467
00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:20,167
You are so sweet to me.
468
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:22,269
Oh, here he comes.
469
00:18:22,335 --> 00:18:23,470
Get the hell out.
470
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:24,804
Get out. Out.
471
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:27,707
Joe!
Christine.
472
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,209
I'm glad you're here.
473
00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:32,145
Listen, can you
keep a secret?
474
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:34,214
Oh, that's right. No.
475
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:36,483
Okay. I'm sorry, all right.
476
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:38,285
I shouldn't have told Richard.
477
00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:39,819
But did you lie to me?
478
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:41,087
No, I lied to Richard.
479
00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:43,990
You did?
Yes.
480
00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:45,158
Wait.
481
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:46,293
Are you lying now?
482
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:47,627
No, I'm telling you the truth.
483
00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:49,296
I've always told you
the truth.
484
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:50,863
I just didn't think Richard
was ready to hear the truth.
485
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:52,131
Well, what is the truth?
486
00:18:52,199 --> 00:18:54,066
I'm gay.
487
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,768
Prove it.
488
00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:59,639
Yeah, I think that's only
going to make you mad.
489
00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:02,709
I knew you couldn't
keep your mouth shut.
490
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:06,579
Yeah, well, the only reason
I couldn't keep my mouth shut
491
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,582
is because you didn't keep your
mouth shut in the first place.
492
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,218
Look, Joe,
493
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:13,686
it is time for you
to tell Richard the truth,
494
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:15,622
okay?
It will be good for you
495
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:18,358
and it'll make me
look a lot better.
496
00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:22,629
Okay.
497
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:26,433
Richard, it seems to be
really important to Christine
498
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,835
that I tell you that...
499
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:33,940
I'm gay.
500
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,475
Really?
501
00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:37,377
You're gay?
Mm-hmm.
502
00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:39,979
Okay, well, if you say so.
503
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:41,881
Then I guess you're gay.
504
00:19:41,948 --> 00:19:43,416
(laughing)
No!
505
00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:44,484
No, no, no. Wait.
506
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:45,652
No, he is gay.
507
00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:46,886
You told me.
Tell him.
508
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:47,987
I love the guys.
509
00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:49,055
I can't get enough.
510
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:50,790
I'm Homo Joe.
511
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:51,958
Yeah, you're awesome.
512
00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,293
(laughing)
No, stop it.
513
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:54,761
Stop telling it
like that.
514
00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:55,828
You are Homo Joe.
515
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:56,896
Tell him!
516
00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:58,765
Okay. All right.
517
00:19:58,831 --> 00:19:59,966
Okay.
518
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:07,540
Richard, I'm gay.
519
00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:12,078
Oh.
520
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:14,281
Well...
521
00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:16,115
If we're all coming clean here,
Christine,
522
00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:17,850
I have something
to tell you, too.
523
00:20:17,917 --> 00:20:20,920
After we got married,
I realized...
524
00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:23,290
I'm gay, too.
525
00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:25,258
(laughing)
526
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:26,493
No.
527
00:20:26,559 --> 00:20:27,394
Damn it!
528
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:28,428
I have to get
back in line.
529
00:20:28,495 --> 00:20:29,996
Dude, you're awesome.
530
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,267
What are you doing to me here?
531
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:35,668
What are you doing to me?
532
00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,136
You just made me look like
a complete idiot
533
00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:38,371
in front of Richard.
534
00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:39,606
Christine,
did you ever think
535
00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:42,475
maybe my coming out
to my family
536
00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:44,611
is not about you?
537
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:48,281
What? No.
538
00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:51,884
Look, I am not ready
to tell Richard.
539
00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:54,654
But now everybody's gonna think
540
00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:57,089
that I really did lose my mojo.
541
00:20:57,156 --> 00:21:00,760
Look, I'm sorry if this
hurts your reputation,
542
00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:05,031
but you're just going to have
to take the hit on this one.
543
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:07,467
(sighs heavily)
544
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:10,837
Okay. Okay.
545
00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:12,271
I'll do it for you.
546
00:21:12,339 --> 00:21:14,574
Thank you.
547
00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:19,546
And, listen,
if I wasn't so gay,
548
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,315
I could really see myself
falling in love with you,
549
00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:24,183
marrying you,
550
00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:57,049
cheating on you
with guys.
37110
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