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1
00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:03,237
It's like the old days.
2
00:00:03,304 --> 00:00:05,706
You and me, Pete and Barb
coming over.
3
00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:07,808
Hey, don't eat that.
4
00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:09,477
That's for company.
5
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:12,346
This is just like
the old days.
6
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:15,083
Hey, can you grab the champagne
out of the fridge?
7
00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:16,684
Why champagne,
are we celebrating?
8
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:19,053
Well, Pete and Barb said
they have a big announcement.
9
00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,921
Might be good news.
10
00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:22,523
So what do you think it is?
11
00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:25,859
I think either they're moving,
or one of them is dying
12
00:00:25,926 --> 00:00:27,095
or they're having a baby.
13
00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,763
Dying? That's a terrible
thing to say.
14
00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:31,632
Well, it's not my fault.
15
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:34,502
I'm obviously not hoping
for the dying.
16
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,837
Would they come over here
to tell us they're dying?
17
00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:39,273
(scoffing):
Well, they're not going
to have us over there.
18
00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:41,809
Their house all full
of Pete's medical equipment.
19
00:00:42,776 --> 00:00:44,712
Why Pete?
20
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,114
Why couldn't Barb be dying?
21
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:49,283
Barb's my friend.
22
00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:52,052
If anyone's dying, it's Pete.
23
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,722
Always eating
those French fries.
24
00:00:54,788 --> 00:00:55,789
(knock at door)
25
00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:56,857
Oh, there they are.
26
00:00:56,924 --> 00:00:58,159
Okay, be positive.
27
00:00:58,226 --> 00:01:00,228
Don't cry.
Wait. Wouldn't they
28
00:01:00,294 --> 00:01:01,629
want us to cry?
29
00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:03,731
Would they?
30
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:05,666
Oh, maybe you're right.
31
00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:07,468
You know what,
let's not plan it--
32
00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:09,337
let's just see
what happens. Okay.
33
00:01:13,241 --> 00:01:15,176
Hi.
Hi.
34
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:23,751
Well, thanks for
letting us come over.
35
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:24,985
Oh, of course.
36
00:01:25,052 --> 00:01:26,187
We have something
to tell you,
37
00:01:26,254 --> 00:01:27,721
and we wanted
to do it in person.
38
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:30,090
So you have something to tell us
about you or Pete?
39
00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:31,492
It's about
both of us.
40
00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:32,693
Both of you?
41
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,729
What, do you live
under a power line?
42
00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:37,465
Are you crying?
43
00:01:39,066 --> 00:01:41,835
Richard, Richard.
44
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:44,272
Uh, you should just
tell us your news, huh?
45
00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:47,107
Well, Pete and I have
been together a long time...
46
00:01:47,175 --> 00:01:48,676
15 years.
47
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:50,844
Nine years.
48
00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:54,648
Wow. Really?
49
00:01:58,085 --> 00:01:59,587
We've been talking
about it a lot,
50
00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:01,722
and we're finally
ready to do it.
51
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:02,723
(gasps)
52
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,124
Yay!
53
00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:06,059
You're having a baby!
I knew it!
54
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,329
You did not-- you thought
they were dying.
55
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,599
I thought Pete was dying.
56
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:13,801
I thought Barb was
having a baby.
57
00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:15,035
You thought
I was dying?
58
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:16,604
Because of the French fries.
59
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,038
What?
60
00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:20,808
Guys, guys, we're
getting divorced.
61
00:02:20,874 --> 00:02:21,875
(gasps)
62
00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:23,877
Oh, that's terrible.
63
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:26,614
And you're pregnant.
64
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,550
They're not pregnant.
They're getting a divorce.
65
00:02:29,617 --> 00:02:31,919
How could you leave Pete
when he's dying?
66
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:44,265
I told you this was
going to take a while.
67
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:55,243
(sighs)
I can't believe this.
68
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:57,177
You and Pete?
69
00:02:57,245 --> 00:03:00,248
I mean, you are so perfect
together.
70
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:01,549
We used to be.
71
00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:03,284
Then we stopped having fun.
72
00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:04,785
Then we stopped having sex.
73
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:06,654
The worst part was that
middle period
74
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:10,424
when we were having sex
that wasn't any fun.
75
00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:12,726
Yeah, but I mean, have you tried
everything, Barb?
76
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:15,028
Because marriage takes
a lot of work.
77
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:16,997
I remember when Richard
and I were having trouble.
78
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:22,803
We tried everything--
counseling... SeaWorld...
79
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:24,838
S&M.
80
00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:27,341
How was SeaWorld?
81
00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:29,943
Do they still have Shamu?
82
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:32,045
Christine was
into S&M?
83
00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:33,314
Really?
84
00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:34,882
Nah, it was the end
of our marriage.
85
00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:37,385
I think she just wanted
an excuse to hit me.
86
00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:42,690
Yeah, so go to the first show
before he gets tired.
87
00:03:44,492 --> 00:03:46,560
And do not sit
in the front row,
88
00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:49,797
'cause I'm telling you,
when that whale jumps,
89
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:52,232
you get wet.
90
00:03:55,803 --> 00:04:00,708
I am crazy for that
big, black bastard.
91
00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,913
Who, Pete?
92
00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:09,182
No, Shamu.
93
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,519
So, what?
94
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,521
What happened
with you guys anyway?
95
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:16,857
It wasn't just one thing,
it was a million things.
96
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:19,226
And we spent so much time
going over it
97
00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:21,462
and analyzing in our heads,
98
00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:23,564
and then one day we just
couldn't do it anymore.
99
00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:24,932
So what went wrong?
100
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,233
I don't know.
101
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:27,901
What went wrong
with you and Christine?
102
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:29,570
I don't know.
103
00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:32,640
Well, I know one thing:
you're staying here with me.
104
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:35,643
No. Pete and I are fine
staying at the house together.
105
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:38,946
Besides, he doesn't know how
to use the thermostat.
106
00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:41,315
He'll freeze to death.
107
00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:43,917
No, you're staying here,
that's final.
108
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,052
Oh.
109
00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:48,789
Ooh.
110
00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:53,627
(slurring):
Uh, how did that happen?
111
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:56,897
(chuckles)
112
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,507
(yells)
113
00:05:06,574 --> 00:05:08,108
What are you doing?
114
00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:09,777
I need you to get up.
115
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:13,414
What, is there an intruder, do
we need to go to the panic room?
116
00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:18,318
It's not a panic room,
it's the guest bathroom.
117
00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:21,254
God, I don't know why, but it's
the only place I feel safe.
118
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,424
Matthew, listen.
Listen.
119
00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:25,459
Pete and Barb are separating.
120
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:26,894
Oh, that's awful.
121
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,329
It doesn't really affect me.
Good night.
122
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,968
(whispering sternly):
What?
123
00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:37,671
I told Barb
that she could stay here
124
00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:39,039
until they figure
everything out,
125
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:40,641
so she's going
to sleep in your room,
126
00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:41,909
and you're going
to bunk with Ritchie.
127
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,010
Why my room?
128
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:44,378
We all have to make sacrifices.
129
00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:45,813
What are you sacrificing?
130
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,815
You.
131
00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:55,889
Christine.
132
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:59,793
Christine, you're-you're
kind of over-tucking me.
133
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,329
This bed is starting
to feel like a jog bra.
134
00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:03,864
Oh.
135
00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:05,599
Sorry, sorry.
136
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:08,301
I just want you to know
that I am here for you
137
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,404
the way you have always
been there for me.
138
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:11,338
Thanks.
139
00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:12,973
No, no, I mean it.
140
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,708
I'm going to take care of you,
I'm going to comfort you,
141
00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:16,376
I'm going to make
you feel better.
142
00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:18,712
I'm not going to lie to you,
it's going to be hard at times,
143
00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:21,114
but you are not alone.
144
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:26,119
I noticed that earlier when you
followed me into the bathroom.
145
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:28,722
All right, so listen,
I'm right across the patio,
146
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,357
right there
if you need me, okay?
147
00:06:30,424 --> 00:06:31,859
So,
148
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:32,926
good night.
149
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:34,194
Sleep tight.
150
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:36,163
Don't let the bed bugs bite.
151
00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:41,334
You want me to pat your back
until you fall asleep?
152
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:44,037
That won't be necessary.
153
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:45,906
Aw, poor baby.
154
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:51,512
If you hadn't immobilized me
with these sheets,
155
00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:54,782
I'd slug you right now.
156
00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,787
Cranky.
157
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:02,422
That's normal.
158
00:07:02,490 --> 00:07:03,924
You should just get some sleep.
159
00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:06,426
Poor baby.
160
00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:09,897
That is not normal.
161
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,171
What?
162
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:22,576
You're welcome.
163
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:27,515
I swear to God
I'll head-butt you.
164
00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:39,693
What are you doing?
165
00:07:41,495 --> 00:07:42,963
Hey, bud, uh,
166
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:44,397
I'm just going
to be bunking
167
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,933
in here with you
for a couple nights,
168
00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:48,168
'cause Aunt Barb is staying
in my room.
169
00:07:48,235 --> 00:07:51,404
Why don't you just
sleep with Aunt Barb?
170
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,306
Well, uh, it seems
a little soon.
171
00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:57,545
Although she is cute
and a lot of fun to be with,
172
00:07:57,611 --> 00:07:59,412
and she sure smells good.
173
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,948
I like her hair--
Uncle Matthew.
174
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:04,985
Yeah, um, let's
just go to bed, okay.
175
00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:05,953
Wait.
176
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:07,788
I need my giggy.
Your what?
177
00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:10,824
My blanket, I can't go to sleep
without it.
178
00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:14,928
That hasn't been a blanket
in a long time.
179
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:21,669
Wait, I need my sounds.
180
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:24,738
(muffled heartbeat)
181
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:28,609
Easy, easy, easy,
182
00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:30,477
easy, easy,
183
00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:33,681
easy, easy, easy,
184
00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:35,683
easy, easy,
185
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:39,186
easy, easy, easy.
186
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:46,226
Morning.
How'd you guys make out?
187
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:48,095
Your kid's a freak.
188
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,764
What are you talking about?
189
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,499
All those little
nighttime rituals?
190
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:54,067
Between the heartbeats
and the womb sounds,
191
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:57,938
I felt like I was back in Mom's
uterus but without the smoke.
192
00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:00,140
Oh, come on,
193
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:03,043
all kids have their bedtime
rituals to put them to sleep.
194
00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:07,715
As I recall, in junior high,
you had your own bedtime ritual.
195
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:10,117
Hey, you need to knock
before you walk
196
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,886
into a teenaged boy's room
unannounced.
197
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:16,023
Ritchie's just doing
what all the books
say he should do.
198
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:17,725
He's self-soothing;
it's perfectly normal.
199
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,492
What are you doing?
200
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,562
I'm putting together a little
divorce comfort kit for Barb.
201
00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:25,666
Nyquil,
bottle of Chardonnay,
202
00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:27,367
some chocolate,
203
00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:30,838
some pills my dentist gave me
when I had my root canal.
204
00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:34,307
You know what? My tooth is
feeling a little sensitive,
205
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:36,810
so I think I'm just going
to hang on to these.
206
00:09:37,945 --> 00:09:40,313
You know, Barb doesn't seem
that bad off.
207
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,315
She actually seems
kind of fine.
Yeah.
208
00:09:42,382 --> 00:09:45,518
Exactly, she's going
through a separation.
209
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,087
It's not normal to be fine.
210
00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:49,723
She's not crying,
she's not overeating,
211
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,124
She's not oversleeping.
212
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:52,793
She hasn't even gotten
back at Pete
213
00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:55,528
by putting his name
in the gay personals.
214
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,530
Hey, whatever happened
to Tim?
215
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:58,866
Does Richard
ever see him anymore?
216
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,768
Yeah, they still play tennis.
217
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:02,235
Aw, nice.
Yeah.
218
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,805
You know, I am worried
about Barb, though.
219
00:10:04,872 --> 00:10:07,340
You know, if she doesn't
go through the steps,
220
00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:09,542
this divorce is just
going to sneak up on her.
221
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:10,543
And when it
222
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,845
finally does hit her,
223
00:10:11,912 --> 00:10:13,280
I don't know
what's going to happen.
224
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:15,048
She could wind up
in the fetal position
225
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:19,052
rubbing her giggy
and listening to womb sounds.
226
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:22,155
Do you really want
to talk self-soothing?
227
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:25,859
Box of Kleenex,
picture of Helen Hunt?
228
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,863
Yeah, I didn't think so.
229
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,037
Hey, Barb, are you up?
230
00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:40,207
I got some goodies for you.
231
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,878
Barb?
232
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,883
Barb?
233
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:53,887
Barb, answer me, please.
234
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,656
Barb?
235
00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:58,358
Barb!
236
00:10:58,425 --> 00:11:01,128
Barb, you need to let me in.
237
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:04,531
Barb!
238
00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:06,333
Barb, what did you take?!
239
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:07,701
Oh, God.
240
00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,136
Matthew!
241
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:11,138
Barb!
242
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:13,140
Barb!
What are you screaming at?
243
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,407
Oh, oh, Barb.
244
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,209
Oh, oh, you're alive.
245
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:17,310
Thank God!
246
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:18,779
I just went for a jog.
247
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:20,948
(sighing):
Oh.
What? What happened?
248
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,550
It's okay; she
just went for a jog.
249
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,418
Oh, thank God.
250
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:28,989
Well, let me know
if you go for a bike ride.
251
00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:32,926
Gosh...
252
00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:35,729
how can you exercise
in the midst of a divorce?
253
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:37,430
What is going on with you?
254
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:39,099
Nothing is going on
with me.
255
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:40,567
I'm well-rested.
256
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:43,370
This morning was the first time
in years that I didn't wake up
257
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:45,806
to 220 pounds
of French fry breath
258
00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:48,641
and three inches
of mattress space.
259
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:49,977
I'm happy.
260
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,544
You shouldn't be.
261
00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:54,547
You've got to go through
the steps to get to happy.
262
00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:56,416
What steps?
263
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:59,820
First, there's anger,
then resentment,
264
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:02,055
then denial, then anger.
265
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:03,656
You already did anger.
266
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,658
The anger comes back.
267
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,460
I'm not angry.
268
00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:09,062
Well, you should be.
269
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:10,764
Your marriage just failed.
270
00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:12,665
You failed, Pete failed.
271
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,435
You're a failure, Barb.
272
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,739
Man, it's like staying
at my mom's
273
00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:22,342
but without all the Jesus.
274
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:27,180
I'm just trying to help you
get to the other side,
275
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:30,383
where you can be healthy
and happy like me.
276
00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:33,921
You started to cry yesterday
277
00:12:33,987 --> 00:12:36,056
because you ran out
of peanut butter.
278
00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,591
No.
279
00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:40,127
(scoffs)
280
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:42,629
(voice cracking):
I started to cry because...
281
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:45,265
(sighs)
282
00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:50,003
...Matthew forgot to put
peanut butter on the list.
283
00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:57,945
Is this healthy or happy?
284
00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,646
I'm not going to take
that personally,
285
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:02,715
because I know you're not angry
at me, you're angry at Pete.
286
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:03,783
I'm not.
287
00:13:03,851 --> 00:13:04,952
Well, you should be.
288
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,386
He didn't appreciate you
at all.
289
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:08,121
God, I hated the way
he used to complain
290
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:09,890
to Richard about you
all the time.
291
00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:11,091
He complained about me?
292
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:13,060
Yeah. He said you can't cook,
293
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:15,762
you've got a foul mouth,
you're shrinking.
294
00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:17,730
Shrinking?
295
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,532
If anything, he's growing.
296
00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:23,070
We can't even fit
in the same picture.
297
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,673
Why are you telling me this?
298
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:28,075
Because it's the truth.
299
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,610
What if I told you
the truth about Richard?
300
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:31,744
I wouldn't care.
301
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,713
I have moved past the anger.
302
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:35,748
Really, there's no more anger.
303
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:36,749
Really?
304
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,118
Mm-hmm.
305
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,853
So, you wouldn't care
if I told you
306
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,989
that Richard didn't want
to go out with you again
307
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:43,590
after your first date?
308
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:50,931
And that I paid him 20 bucks
to go out on a second date.
309
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:58,071
40 bucks
for the third.
310
00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,307
Yeah, guess what?
311
00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:02,375
I slept with him
on the third date, so...
312
00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:05,012
And that's why the fourth
was half off.
313
00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:10,850
How are you feeling now?
314
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:13,353
Yeah, the anger
came back.
315
00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:18,125
What was so
awful about me
316
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,060
that you didn't want
to date me again?
317
00:14:20,127 --> 00:14:22,862
Sure, come on over;
I'm not doing anything.
318
00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:27,834
Barb told me that she paid you
to go out with me?
319
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,402
What was wrong with me?
320
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:31,604
It was a long time ago,
I can't remember.
321
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:33,240
Think!
Now I remember.
322
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:35,408
It was because you were bossy.
323
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,610
Come on, Richard,
I'm serious.
324
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:39,179
Christine, what does it matter?
325
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:41,982
We went out again,
I fell in love with you,
326
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:43,316
we had a kid together,
327
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,953
we tried S&M,
we went to SeaWorld.
328
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:48,521
What is this really about?
329
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:49,856
It's Barb.
330
00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:51,358
She's not doing
the divorce right.
331
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:54,627
Everybody deals with these
things in their own way.
332
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:55,996
Barb's doing her thing,
333
00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:57,364
you did slippers
and Chardonnay,
334
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,032
I slept around.
335
00:15:00,833 --> 00:15:02,235
That was so mean.
336
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:04,004
Man, if you didn't
have a girlfriend,
337
00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:05,838
I would push you up
against the wall
338
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,375
and smack you so
hard right now.
339
00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:11,344
(breathing heavily)
340
00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:19,052
God, why won't Barb
341
00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:20,820
let me help her?
342
00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:22,022
Why is it so important to you?
343
00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:24,357
Because she's my best friend.
344
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:27,027
Well, it seems like,
as her best friend,
345
00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:28,928
you'd be happy
she's doing so well.
346
00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:32,565
You'd think.
347
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:34,667
Maybe on some level
you're not exactly devastated
348
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:37,037
by her divorce.
349
00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:38,438
Maybe you're happy you have
350
00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:40,040
another divorced person
to hang out with.
351
00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:41,841
Oh, Richard, that is so awful.
352
00:15:41,908 --> 00:15:44,344
My best friend is going
through something as painful
353
00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:47,814
as a divorce, and you think
that I would be happy about it?
354
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,049
Is it true?
355
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:52,219
I think it is.
356
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,387
I mean, as soon
as I found out
357
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,256
that they were splitting up,
all I could think about
358
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:58,158
was all the fun we
were going to have.
359
00:15:58,225 --> 00:16:00,493
You know? Divorce buddies.
360
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,663
Going to happy hours
and wine tastings
361
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:06,099
and cocktail parties.
362
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:09,302
You think I drink too much?
363
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:12,872
I don't think you drink
too little.
364
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:15,575
Anyway, all our other friends
are still together.
365
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:17,644
I was really looking forward
to not being
366
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:20,813
the only divorced person
in the entire world.
367
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,282
Oh, God, I'm awful.
368
00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:23,116
No.
369
00:16:23,183 --> 00:16:26,486
Barb will understand.
370
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:29,022
You know, I'm not saying
that I wish this,
371
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,558
but it really would
have been a lot easier
372
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,460
if Pete was dying.
373
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:41,401
You're an angel.
374
00:16:42,969 --> 00:16:46,106
Barb? Barb, can I talk to you?
375
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:47,507
I know you're in there,
376
00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:50,110
so you might as well
answer the door.
377
00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:54,013
I'm staying out here
until you do.
378
00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:55,515
(sighs)
379
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:57,684
Well, I got nothing to do
and nowhere to go
380
00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:01,254
until American Idol starts
in January.
381
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:04,391
What?
382
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:06,993
I just wanted to tell you
that I'm sorry.
383
00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:08,661
Thanks.
No, no, no.
384
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:09,762
I mean it.
385
00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:11,398
I behaved badly, okay?
386
00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:13,933
I mean, I thought
that I was trying to help you,
387
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,737
but in fact, it was really
about me, and that's just awful.
388
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:18,738
Yep.
389
00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:20,573
No. Barb.
390
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,676
I can tell you're mad,
but can we just talk about this?
391
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:25,078
Look, I'm not mad.
392
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:26,179
Come back later--
you can tuck me in.
393
00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:27,614
Got to...
Barb, please.
394
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,383
Come on, can't we just talk
about this?
395
00:17:32,219 --> 00:17:34,154
Do I hear voices in there?
396
00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:36,689
Uh, yeah, I'm watching
As Good As It Gets.
397
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:40,293
Your brother's got the entire
Helen Hunt collection in there.
398
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,662
MAN:
Barb, come back to bed.
399
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:44,197
What?
400
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:45,565
That's Castaway.
401
00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:46,933
He's trying to get
Barb back to bed.
402
00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:48,101
Got to go.
403
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:49,336
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
404
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,171
There's a man in there?
405
00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:52,439
Oh, I knew it.
406
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:53,873
I knew you weren't
as well-adjusted
407
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,475
as you were pretending to be.
408
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:58,378
Jumping into bed with
the first man that comes along?
409
00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:01,314
It's not a man; it's Pete.
410
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:03,816
Hey, Christine.
411
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:06,085
Oh. Hi, Pete.
412
00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:07,187
Are you in your underwear?
413
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:09,189
Well, Matthew's underwear.
414
00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:12,024
I had to throw on something.
415
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,693
I'll be right
back, baby.
416
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,495
Hurry up.
417
00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:18,931
What? What happened?
418
00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:21,301
Christine, look,
don't take this personally,
419
00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:23,903
but I'm not getting a divorce.
420
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:25,405
I don't know how you do it.
421
00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:28,007
I guess you're a stronger person
than I am.
422
00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:29,942
I could never do
what you're doing.
423
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:31,077
Sure you could.
424
00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:32,279
No way.
425
00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:34,381
Going to bed alone
every night.
426
00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:38,218
Waking up alone
every morning.
427
00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:40,920
That takes courage.
428
00:18:40,987 --> 00:18:43,890
Well, thank you.
429
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:48,027
Eating alone, drinking alone,
having sex alone.
430
00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:51,030
All right, I said
"thank you," Barb, okay?
431
00:18:51,097 --> 00:18:53,032
(scoffs)
432
00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:55,302
It's not easy being lonely,
believe me,
433
00:18:55,368 --> 00:18:58,238
but I don't think you should
get back together with Pete
434
00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:00,173
just because you're
afraid of being alone.
435
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,708
Well, that's not it.
436
00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:04,377
I think Pete and I just needed
to put the idea out there
437
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:06,679
to realize
that it wasn't what we wanted.
438
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:08,815
We're going to try
to make it work.
439
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:11,251
Oh.
440
00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:14,187
Well, that's great.
441
00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:16,356
I'm happy for you.
442
00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:23,330
You want to try that again?
443
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:27,800
No, I am.
I am really happy for you.
444
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:35,708
That's as good as it gets.
445
00:19:38,077 --> 00:19:41,514
(muffled heartbeat)
446
00:19:56,763 --> 00:19:57,897
(heartbeat stops)
447
00:19:57,964 --> 00:19:59,666
Hey.
448
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:01,668
I'm sorry, I thought
you were asleep.
449
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:02,769
I wasn't.
450
00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:04,304
Now I have to start
all over again.
451
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:06,539
Buddy, wait a minute.
452
00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:10,243
What do you think would
happen if we tried,
453
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:12,979
just for tonight, to
sleep without the sounds?
454
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:16,015
Because I'm here, so there's
nothing to be afraid of.
455
00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:17,684
No, thanks.
Aw, come on.
456
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:19,586
I mean, you do amazing things
all the time.
457
00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:21,187
I know you
can do this.
458
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:24,524
Just close your
eyes, okay?
459
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:26,326
Relax.
460
00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:30,497
And sleep.
461
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:35,335
I can't do this.
Sure you can.
462
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,270
Come on, I'll
help you, okay?
463
00:20:37,337 --> 00:20:39,639
Just breathe in and out.
464
00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:42,241
Now what?
465
00:20:42,309 --> 00:20:45,545
Breathe in and out.
466
00:20:46,346 --> 00:20:48,381
Now what?
467
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:52,519
Breathe in and out.
468
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:54,654
Now what?
469
00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:58,425
(amplified heartbeat continues)
470
00:20:58,491 --> 00:21:02,529
Easy, easy, easy...
471
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:08,568
Barb... I'm happy for you.
472
00:21:10,337 --> 00:21:13,973
Barb, I'm happy for you.
473
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:18,711
Really, I'm happy for you.
474
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:21,448
Best of luck.
475
00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:55,782
You'll be back.
32699
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