Original subtitles

♪ Just the Good Ol' Boys ♪

♪ Never meaning no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you never saw, been in trouble with the law ♪

♪ Since the day they was born ♪

♪ Straightenin' the curves ♪

♪ Flattenin' the hills ♪

♪ Someday the mountain might get 'em ♪

♪ But the law never will ♪

♪ Making their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ That's just a little bit more than the law will allow ♪

♪ Just the Good Ol' Boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system like a true modern-day Robin Hood ♪

'Yee-haw!'

As y'all might have noticed, in Hazzard County

sugar comes in very interesting packages.

Here you go, sugar.

Of course, in Hazzard

they tend to have their own way of doing things.

For example..

You're watching the Hazzard extended love spring..

Which sort of explains why a lot of folks..

Once they get to Hazzard, tend to want to stay.

Anywho, while Coy and Vance Duke were enjoying

a typical Hazzard luncheon meeting when it all commenced.

That is to say, it all started. Don't you know?

Vance Duke, are we playing or not?

I need a little time out, Bonnie.

You throw it around with Ellie Mae for a while.

Coy, get your tail over here for a minute.

Be right back, sugar. Hold this for me, will you?

You see, Coy talks to sugar too.

Dang it, Vance. Me and Ellie Mae

were just getting to know each other.

What's you got this time? Because I'd like...

- Take a look at here. - 'The tire tracks?'

'That's the reason you called me over here?'

I don't think you're playing with a full deck.

'That may be.'

I've got a strange feeling

we've seen this oversized track before.

Take another look.

The Mean Green Machine?

Heck, it's been long gone. Hasn't it?

Uh-huh.

We never saw where it went or who went with it.

Man if that machine is back in Hazzard

we're all in for a heap of trouble.

Let's take the girls back and check this out.

Alrighty. Ellie Mae ain't gonna like this.

'Bonnie, Ellie Mae..'

I'm afraid we're gonna have to call off the picnic.

Vance Duke, I spent all morning getting that picnic lunch made.

Not to mention another date I could've had.

I know, sugar, listen.

Now, while Vance and Coy was bustin' up their party

and creating difficulties with their social life..

Boss Hogg was like a tot in a toy store

drooling over the Hazzard Gold and Silver Bullion Emporium

which he was planning to bust into.

- Look at that. - Look at that.

The Jefferson Davis gold coin collection.

- All in a box. - In a box.

Well, what do we have here?

What we have here is my fat little fink friend

casin' a job for the Mean Green Machine.

I knew when we busted out of the slammer

we'd come here and he'd lead us to it.

But I never figured that he'd finger the job for us.

Remember that guy driving?

He's one of the bad dudes that sold Boss

that Mean Green Machine in the first place.

I reckon he wants it back, huh!

Especially them Dukes for putting me in jail.

- Heh, oh! Oh! - Oh! Oh!

'O-oh. Doesn't the sight of all that gold give you'

'a quiver in your liver?'

'Yeah, brings tears to the eyes..'

and hunger pangs to the pocket.

Yeah..

Oh, those suckers are shiny... aren't they?

Hey, Boss, listen. Those coins are old, aren't they?

I wonder what the hysterical value of those coins are.

- You mean historical? - That too.

But what I'm wondering is

how much them coins is worth... melted down.

- You're gonna melt those... - Da-da-da-do-do, come on.

- Thank you. - Yeah, thank you.

- Thanks for coming. - You know, just watch...

They're leaving.

Now all they gotta do is lead us to that machine

'and we're gonna get us one million dollars.'

And then, Baxter

we're gonna even the score around here.

We'll smash down everything in this cow town.

Alright, boy. Let's do it.

While them bad guys was tagging after Boss

waiting for him to make a move

to the Mean Green Machine that they was after.

Coy and Vance were out looking for some sign of it themselves

while filling in Daisy and Uncle Jesse and Cooter.

It was that same kind of strange, 12-ply

off-road job that machine uses.

Well, it could be.

Ain't nobody around here runs on that kind of tire.

Y'all tell which way it went?

No way. Once them tracks hit the pavement there's no way

of telling where it went in.

'If that infernal machine is back'

everybody in Hazzard County stands to lose life, limb

and property or anything else that happens to get in its way.

'Y'all think a call to the State Police is in order?'

'We got nothing to tell 'em.'

'We don't know whether it's back or what it's planning to do.'

No sense in letting Rosco know.

Boss and Rosco was tied up with that machine before

they're bound to be tied in again.

We'd just be tipping our hand.

While you boys look for the machine

Daisy and me will keep our eye on J.D.

I'm headed back for Hazzard right now. Over and out.

'And I'm heading for the Boar's Nest.'

If I see anything, I'll holler. Bye, fellas.

Y'all, I got me a tow job up around Walnut Grove.

If I see anything, I'll give y'all a holler here.

Alright, Cooter. This is Lost Sheep cutting loose.

'Crazy Cooter, and I'm gone.'

Now, y'all hang on to whatever's loose.

You just watch what some county boys can put together.

Ooh.

- Did you see that? - It went right through there.

- You can see it. - I saw that.

- Oh, look at that. - Holy jumping..

- Did you see that? - I saw that too.

Ain't that somethin'.

Listen, Boss. You know somethin'?

You know what that vehicle reminds me of?

What?

A combination barbecue pit and a steamroller.

Ha ha, Rosco, I tell you, there ain't no way

that nothin' or nobody can stop that machine

from getting into the Gold and Silver Emporium.

Once this day is done..

That green thing is gonna deliver us

one million dollars in gold.

Oh... Boss, let me ask you one little question here.

Hm, what's that?

How's that machine gonna pick up that chest of coins anyway?

How? With my latest stroke of genius, that's how.

- Oh, that? - Wait a minute, I'll show you.

Tuck? This is me. Say, that was quite a show.

Now, let's see that special grabber go to work.

Look at that.

That little old magnet answer your question?

Oh, that's a marvelous.

But listen, Boss, you know something?

You're the only man I know that could steal a man's teeth

and then come back for the gums.

Alright Tuck, everything looks just fine.

Now then, you take that magnetic monster back to the hideout

till it's time to pass the collection plate.

This absolute..

This is one of your better ideas.

'I mean, that's super.'

It was marvelous.

Let's go get it.

Coy and Vance, Jesse and old Cooter

didn't see hide nor hair of that machine on the road.

The Dukes were right in fearin' Boss' machine.

At least they knew how Boss operated.

Hey, Burt, coast looks clear to me.

Why don't we get us one of them cold beers?

'Can I get you one buddy?'

'What do you wanna mess with this machine for?'

'She's running real good.'

Just hold it right there.

Tie him up.

And on the floor.

That's it.

Daisy went to the Boar's Nest to look for Boss.

Since he was the only connection they had

to that infernal machine.

'We got us plenty of time before we make the hit.'

'What do you say we find them Duke boys'

'and bust up that orange car of theirs, huh?'

'Hey, Vance. Look over there.'

Looks to me, we just missed hitting the jackpot.

Let's go take a closer look.

'Looks like it's practicing for an all-out war.'

I know one thing for sure.

We ain't gonna take that thing on

without something to fight it with.

What do you say we hightail it back to the farm and get

what's left of them dynamite arrows to sort of uh..

Even up the odds.

Spoken like a man looking for a fair fight.

- Let's go. - Let's go.

Trouble is, them bad fellas don't exactly fight fair.

While Coy and Vance and them bad dudes

was heading for a showdown

Boss was already back at his Boar's Nest office.

- Million dollars in gold. - Fur coat for Mama.

- Million dollars in gold. - 'Gold doggy collar for Flash.'

Rosco, you know what a man can do?

And Daisy was just outside of it, hoping to hear what

Boss and Rosco was planning to do with that machine.

All those jawbreakers she wants, with his fifty percent

of your fifty percent.

'Yeah? Well, who said anything about him'

'or you or anybody getting fifty percent?'

- 'Me.' - 'Not this time.'

'All you're gonna get is ten percent.'

'Ten percent?'

'Less interest, uh... expenses.'

- Hey! Boss. - Uh? What? What? What? What?

What is the matter? What's going on here?

Say, ain't you supposed to be out there

protectin' my machine?

'There ain't no machine to protect.'

'What!?'

'Somebody stole it. Two guys jumped us.'

Ah!

- Somebody stole my machine. - No.

There goes my ten percent of whatever I was gonna get.

I'll get out a CPB.

Rosco, you got a mind like a whip. Only it just snapped.

Now we're going to get that machine ourselves.

- Oh, I see. - Come on.

This reminds me of the time old Boss opened

the Hazzard Roller Skating Palace.

And to save money on skates.

Well, he covered the skating rink with marbles.

Oh, look what you did.

Lost Sheep. Lost Sheep, are you out there? It's Bo Peep.

Lost Sheep right back at you, Daisy.

I've got a real barnburner for you, fellas.

Boss did have that Mean Green Machine.

But he ain't got it no more. Somebody ripped him off.

That will knock the shingles off the roof.

Who do you figure done it?

Why don't you ask them yourself.

'There they are.'

Hey, looks like that orange car you told me about.

- 'Must be them Duke fellows.' - 'Ain't that neighborly.'

Them coming out to greet us like that.

We got the bow and two of those exploding arrows left.

A couple of arrows ain't gonna do much good

against King Kong out there.

- Someone's got a bow and arrow. - Yeah?

Oh!

He got us.

- Hey, where did they go? - He went back of us.

- Alright, let's torch. - Alright.

They're tryin' to barbeque us again, partner.

'Ain't gonna get near this way.'

Well, who the heck is trying to get near 'em?

Got to, Coy. We gotta stop them.

You gotta be kidding. With what?

The only thing we got, this here.

If I get this onto the front of the machine

he'll be driving blind and have to pull over.

See if you can get up broadside.

- Close as you can. - Aye-aye, skipper.

Damn! This thing's not running right.

Think there's something wrong.

Now, if it gives you a pause to watch old Vance

attack a tank with a dry blanket.

Y'all should have seen him play linebacker

for Hazzard High.

Feisty.

Let's go back and finish them off.

'Can't. That explosion gave us some engine problems.'

'We gotta clear it up first.'

'Or we ain't gonna be able to pull that job.'

'And the gold's shipping out this afternoon.'

Dang it! Dang it! Dang it! Dang it!

I was just getting to enjoy myself.

- You alright? - Only thing hurt is my pride.

You gonna sit there on your pride or get after 'em? Come on.

Not till we give us a bigger stick to chase it with.

I never saw that one fellow before.

But Hatfield was driving, I think.

I thought he was in the slammer.

Not unless he can be in two places at the same time.

I found out something else too.

Come on. The suspense is killing me.

Thanks to them dynamite arrows, those fellas

ain't going anywhere without making some engine repairs.

'That means they gotta hole up somewhere for a while.'

It'll be a good chance for Uncle Jesse and Daisy

to poke around town and see if anyone saw Hatfield

or that other fella at the diner or hotel.

Never know what kind of word they might pick up.

Now, figuring they'd at least bought themselves some time.

And maybe another crack at them bad guys

and the Mean Green Machine.

The boys headed back to the Duke farm

for some more dynamite and arrows.

Boss and Rosco

was hatching plans to get that machine back again.

But they had a long road to hoe to get to where they is going.

Terrible. Terrible.

- Then, why are you eating them? - What?

- Those hard things. - Oh, I don't mean..

The jawbreakers. Those are pretty good.

All I mean is somebody stealin' my machine.

Well, they're crooks, that's what they are.

Just plain, unadulterated crooks.

I sure wish I knew who they are.

Don't worry about it. I'll catch 'em.

Or I'm not sheriff of this county.

Don't worry. If we don't. You ain't.

Listen here. Listen.

I'll get 'em. I'll get 'em like they ain't never been got.

All I'm trying to figure out is how we're gonna stop

them in that infernal machine.

How? By arming ourselves to the teeth.

Right down to the gums.

That's why we're driving to the State Guard Armory.

'Oh, I love it. I love it. You know what we'll get?'

'We'll get one of those horrowitzers.'

'Huh?'

- Hor-hor. Horrowitzers. - You mean, a howitzer.

Yeah, we'll get one of them too. Even better. We'll get a tank.

We'll get two tanks for you and me.

- A big fat one for you. - Please, please, please.

Don't go on like a long-playing idiot, will you?

Just drive, drive, drive.

Well, I like hot pursuit in a tank.

I ain't never done that.

Sure it was such a hot idea

bringing it back here to work on?

Safest place I could think of.

Hogg would never figure we'd hide it where he did.

- How's it coming? - It ain't.

Carburetor's clogged.

We're gonna need us a real mechanic.

Let's go find us one.

While Daisy was going to town..

Coy and Vance loaded up with arrows and dynamite

and headed out to look for the Mean Green Machine.

And Uncle Jesse was already in town

keeping an eagle-beagle eye peeled.

But then there's that famous pithy Hazzard saying

"Don't ever worry about nothing ever turning out wrong

'cause it usually won't."

Boss and Rosco, meanwhile, had armed themselves to the teeth.

I tell you little chubby buddy, I'm proud of you.

Way you shucked and jived those armory fellows

tell them we needed that bazooka for official sheriff's business.

Well, one of us has gotta use his head.

- Yeah. - I mean the one with a head.

- Right. - Yeah.

That's right, this bazooka sure is the thing

to stop my machine and get it back.

Like I always say

"The best offense is a bigger offense."

Right.

And I tell you, we are the most offensive people in these parts.

Of course, now, what Boss and Rosco didn't know

was that machine they was looking for was right back

where old Boss had hidden it in the first place.

And that them bad guy was right in Hazzard that very minute.

So there he was in that old blue pickup.

Chased him clear across the valley.

You heard anything from Coy and Vance yet?

Not a word. You know, that Green Machine

could be almost anywheres. That's why I brought this along.

Afraid you ain't gonna get a chance to use it.

Drop the gun. Hands over your head if you like living.

Now, don't get excited, son. See here.

Watch me. Watch me. I'm putting it down.

There you are.

Well, now, ain't y'all bad talkin' to him like that?

Why don't you try talkin' to me like that?

'Cause we're going for a little trip first.

No. See, I'm real particular

about who I go riding around with.

Hold it.

Hold it right there or the old man gets it.

'I'm okay. Do what he says.'

Alright, tie up the old man.

You. Get your tools and get in the van.

'Well, come on. Ain't got time to waste.'

What's your all-fired hurry?

J.D.'s bank ain't going nowhere.

None of your business, old man.

Besides, Hogg's bank is chicken feed.

Now... we're going with you or without you.

Hang on there a second.

I'll go with y'all on one condition.

- You leave him alone. - Don't worry about it.

- He ain't the Duke we want. - What y'all want with me?

Get your tools and we'll show you.

- Now, move it! - Come on. Let's go.

Shepherd to Lost Sheep.

Shepherd to Lost Sheep. You out there?

'Reading you loud and clear, Uncle Jesse.'

We're about a quarter mile outside of town.

Listen, keep your eye open for a blue van.

It's Hatfield and another fella, and they got Cooter.

You're right about the engine. They needed a mechanic.

'Is Cooter alright?'

He was when he left here. But you know Cooter and his temper.

'I just don't want Cooter to do anything crazy.'

'You okay, Uncle Jesse?'

Yeah, I, I'm fine. I'm fine, except for some bruised knuckles

and being a little tied up.

Listen. The main thing is to not get Cooter hurt.

- So you be careful? - Daisy? You reading all this?

I ain't missed a word. Y'all make sure that Cooter

and that van get back safe and sound. Okay, fellas?

- I'll take care of Uncle Jesse. - We won't have to look far.

'Here they come.'

- Doggone it, we're stuck. - Try rocking it.

- I don't see them, do you? - No sign of them.

Don't you boys count your chickens before they hatch.

There ain't no quitting 'em Duke boys.

He ain't kidding.

Them boys is tougher to lose than a tick on a hound's tail.

Keep rocking, partner. We gotta get out of here.

I think I got an idea. Pull over.

Now, this thing might be slow, and it might be ugly.

But it sure as shooting gonna have to be dealt with.

And probably at a bad time..

And a bad place.

Let's go.

Good idea. That ought to hold them.

- No way around it, coz. - We just have to go over it.

'Well, hang on.'

Trying to slow down the Dukes by blocking the road

is like bailing a leaky boat with a rusty bucket.

Yee-haw!

'Here they come again.'

Baxter!

Hey! You make another move like that

you'll buy yourself a pair of wings.

Son, if I had half the chance, y'all would be stoking a fire.

We got it, alright. Dang thing's flat.

Lost Sheep to Shepherd and Bo Peep. We lost 'em.

Hole up at Cooter's. We'll be coming in.

Yeah. I figure it's about time to fall back and regroup.

Now, Baxter and Hatfield not only had

that Mean Green Machine but they had old Cooter

as hostage to boot.

'Dagblast it, Rosco.'

I'm gonna get that machine back if it's the last thing I do.

One of these ought to do it.

Coy and Vance met with Jesse and Daisy

and tried to come up with some kind of plan

to catch that machine and free Cooter.

Uncle Jesse, you okay?

Well, I seem to be slowin' up a mite.

Oh, you know you aren't. You know what's gotten me worried?

They could've that machine hid in a hundred different places.

Even if we do find them, we couldn't blast them

without hurting Cooter.

If anything happens to Cooter, I'll just die.

Oh, honey, they need a mechanic too bad to do anything to him.

Question is what'll they do with him

when they don't need him anymore?

'We don't even know what they're gonna do'

'with that machine or when.'

Whatever it is, they gonna do it soon

because they was in a mighty big hurry.

Well, shoot they could hit Boss' bank any time.

Or any place in Hazzard for that matter.

Except one.

Look at this.

'They said, J.D.'s bank was chicken feed.'

'That means they're going for something bigger'

'and the only thing bigger would be the Emporium there.'

Now, then, if they're gonna hit that they have

to hit it this afternoon.

Problem was, how could they stop that machine in Hazzard

without folks in town and old Cooter getting hurt.

Then an idea hit Vance.

They'd stop the machine after it moved out of town.

And to make sure they didn't lose track of it

Vance needed some radio-station equipment

that only Bonnie could get for him.

I told you I didn't wanna talk to you.

Bonnie, you think I wanted to call off that picnic?

There ain't nothing I'd rather do

than have a picnic with you.

Except maybe a..

Vance Duke, you can try sweet talking me all you want.

But the answer is still no.

Okay, I mean if a guy can't turn to the gal he's taking

to the church social, then I don't know.

You mean that? Oh! Vance.

But if anybody finds out I'm loaning you

radio-station equipment, especially Mr. Hogg

I could get fired in a minute.

Trust me, Bonnie.

- Trust me. - Trust me.

Alright, I'll go into engineering and see

if I can get what you want.

Thank you, baby.

Friends, either Vance could sell an Arab sand

or Bonnie just ain't too swift.

You take your pick.

Purrs like a kitten.

Yeah, well, it helps if you know what you're doin'.

I don't think you boys would be quite

so bad without them guns there.

Oh, shut up and get in there.

- We taking him with us? - Insurance.

In case somethin' else happens.

Or in case our mechanic friend here

threw a monkey wrench in the machinery.

You heard the man. Climb in.

You better keep a close eye on me.

- You better not blink. - You just try. Just once.

Come on. Get up in there. We ain't got all day.

Now, things was fixing to come together

and time was running out.

So Vance laid out his idea

and what everybody was gonna do. Maybe.

Here's one of those mini-radio transmitters

that sends out a signal for over 20 miles.

Like the gizmos they put

on a boat or a plane to give out their location in emergency.

We'll stick one to that machine when it's gonna hit the emporium

and the other to the General to pick up the broadcast signal.

And that signal gets located on that dish right there.

Well, it sure sounds like it should work.

How do we get that thing onto the machine?

With this two-sided magnet right here.

Now, it ain't gonna be easy.

Since Coy and me gotta be there receiving the signal.

Daisy's gonna slap this thing on the back

of that machine when it rolls into the emporium.

Vance and me will be waiting outside of town

ready to tail it back to their hideout.

Maybe I oughta to warn the guards

and the people in town so nobody gets hurt.

Now, sugar, you sure you can handle your end?

Are you kiddin'? How can I miss anything that big?

I knew you could.

Now, everybody just remember.

Cooter's gonna be inside that thing.

- Yeah. - Well, let's go pick our spots.

Pretty neat idea. If that transmitter works.

If Daisy can land it on the Mean Green Machine.

And that's providin' the machine ever gets to Hazzard.

♪ How to be those LA folks who were kind to me ♪

♪ and I sure missed her ♪♪

Possum on a gum bush.

Alright, freeze now.

I said stop! Freeze!

What is that?

Uh, my gun.

'My badge.'

My belt. My pants.

Watch this.

Oh, oh..

Now, fightin' is one thing.

But to drop a fellow's britches is truly

lackin' in sportsmanship.

Sheriff Enos Strate calling the deputy sheriff.

I mean, Enos Strate calling to Sheriff Rosco.

'Come in, sheriff, it's mighty important.'

Enos, this is Sherriff Rosco. What is it now? Come back.

Sherriff, you know that big old Green Machine?

It's back again. I saw it with my own eyes, sheriff.

It attacked me and Hazzard. Bless her heart.

Are you kidding me? Are you in hot pursuit? Come back.

'No, sir, I ain't got nothing to pursue it in.'

Give me that. Give me that, give me that. Enos..

This is J.D. Hogg.

Listen. Where is it? Where is it?

Cottonwood Road, heading straight for town, sir.

Oh, we got 'em this time, Rosco.

Come on, let's go get 'em.

The problem right now is.

Who's gonna get to that machine first.

Daisy?

Jesse?

And Coy and Vance?

Or Boss and Rosco?

There they are. There they are.

'Cops.'

The fuzz ain't never stopped us before.

They ain't gonna stop us now.

'Stop. So you can lay one of these shells right over them.'

'Yeah.'

'So they know we mean business.'

Wait a minute. Gotta get this thing loaded?

Yeah, load that sucker. Oh, I love this.

'Alright. You got it loaded.'

- Get it out of the window. - They'll rue the day.

That crazy cop's gonna fire a bazooka.

Now, I sure hope old Rosco's shooting

is up to his usual poor standard.

Rosco and Boss don't know that Cooter's in that machine.

And if Rosco hits that machine square on

ain't nobody's car in Hazzard ever gonna run right no more.

- Alright. Fire. - Ready.

No, stop. You got the thing pointed the wrong way...

What'd I tell you?

You blew up the car. I told you you had it pointed.

You know what? Old Cooter will have that fixed in no time.

If somebody can just rescue him.

He's really that good.

Now, I know everybody's been wonderin' just like me.

Reckon where old Enos sends off

to get them weird underdrawers.

Miz Tisdale. Miz Tisdale, ma'am?

'Enos.'

That's mighty pretty pink underwear you got on there, son.

Oh, oh, Enos, do you know the penalty

for interfering with the delivery of the U.S. mail?

I'm awful sorry, Miz Tisdale, ma'am.

But I need a ride back to Hazzard. Powerful bad.

Official business.

Well it's against postal regulations

but if it's official business as you say

well, move the mail over and set your tail down in there.

And don't fold, spindle or mutilate.

- Yes, ma'am, I sure won't. - And put that helmet on Enos.

- Yes, ma'am. - Safety rules.

You know about safety. Get in there.

- Now, hang on, Enos. - Yes, ma'am.

They don't call me "Cycle Mama" for nothing.

- Yes, ma'am. - Yee. Yee-haw.

Folks, I think the Mean Green Machine has arrived.

Shepherd to Bo Peep. Shepherd to Bo Peep.

- Black Sheep's in the meadow. - I hear you, Shepherd.

I'm on my way to the roundup.

Now the good folks of Hazzard did just

as old Jesse had asked them to do

to make things look right.

- He's loose. Look out. - Dang fool.

We're almost to the gold building. Hang on.

'Alright. Hold it right there.'

Drop your guns. Now! Come on, now. Move it.

Alright, you. You with big nose.

'You lock up that chest. Move it.'

'The rest of you, clear off this vehicle.'

'Right now. Come on. Pronto. Move it. Move it.'

'Now, you all make any funny moves, you're dead.'

Picking them up, loud and clear.

Alright, y'all.

Now y'all get..

'Y'all get over there in that corner. Hurry up, move it.'

Alright, keep your hands up.

'I want y'all to count to a 100 real slow like.'

If you boys make so much as a move.

We're gonna tear this town apart.

The folks of Hazzard had cleared the streets

like Jesse had told them to do.

So the machine would only damage things

not people.

- Rosco. - What?

How, how dare you.

- Look at that car. - Oh, it's a mess, ain't it?

- Yeah, I'll never get it fixed. - I know it.

What a way to air-condition, ain't it?

Oh, what are we gonna do now?

You'll have to talk louder. I can't hear you.

I said, what are we gonna do now?

- Oh, look, look, look. - What?

Hi.

Look at that. Another vehicle coming by.

- Yeah. - Come on, we can get that one.

- I donno if I can hit that... - No, don't hit it.

We're gonna commandeer it. Now get to routine.

Come on.

Wait a minute.

Hold it.

- Rosco. - What?

You know how to drive one of these things?

Are you kidding me? I was born on one of those.

Yeah? Just like you was born with a bazooka

in your hand out there.

Alright. Come on, come on. Let's see what you can do. Excuse us.

Look at all that mail there. Ain't that too bad?

- My oh my. - Oh.

Yeah, better pick it all up now.

Pick this up. Here pick this up.

- 'Let's pick up the mail.' - Alright. That's good.

'Alright, that's real good now.'

'Come on. Get on this thing, will you?'

Alright, give me that bazooka. Alright, let's go.

Sheriff, what about me, sir?

Come back here. My motorcycle is federal property.

- 'Come back here.' - Get your own set of wheels.

Now, word of a million-dollar robbery

spreads pretty fast anywhere.

But in a town the size of Hazzard

about 10 times as quick, I think.

Yes, those are pretty pink pants.

Okay, now pick up the mail, Enos. Come on.

Uh, sheriff, this is Terry.

'They just busted in and got the gold.'

- Oh, did you hear that? - Yeah.

They're getting away with all my gold coins.

Don't let 'em do it. Don't let 'em do it.

They've already done it.

Alright, we'll get after them and we'll get them.

Listen, we got the bazooka. We'll blow them to smithereens.

Here they come.

Uncle Jesse?

'They just turned off onto the Old North Road.'

That cuts right into Fairview Junction.

Which runs clean out of Hazzard.

One fork going to Central City

and the other to the main road to Atlanta.

Rosco, did you hear that?

Which means they ain't figuring to come to no hideout here.

The Dukes are after my gold too.

Alright we gotta get to the machine first.

Now, cut across at the Hackett Place

down at the Old North Road.

Let's go. Come on.

Don't get that in my spoke, sir.

- Wanna do a wheelie? - Yeah, do a wheelie.

Rosco, if you ever have to live your life over, don't.

If I do, I hope I'm a duck.

'Uncle Jesse?'

'Y'all still got that dynamite and fuse with you?'

I got some here, but we can't use it.

Cooter's in that thing. We don't wanna get him hurt.

I figure we can force them to make a pit stop.

- With us supplying the pit. - Name the place.

Fairview Junction.

Now, y'all take Indian Trail.

'Coy and me, will cut onto the Old North Road'

'through the Hackett farm.'

Try to herd them at the right fork.

Get ready to blow it when you get the word.

- 'I'm gone. See you there.' - I'm behind you, Uncle Jesse.'

You know, one thing you gotta admire about Hazzard folks.

They got a double load of gumption and tenacity.

Most folks would've give up and gone to the house by now.

Holy cow. Boss is firing a bazooka at it.

One of them things sticks, Cooter's a goner.

Boss? Rosco? You got your ears on?

As luck would have it, the wires on the cycle's CB

got all wet from the watering truck.

Boss and Rosco couldn't hear a thing.

Oh. Look, you missed.

Look at that.

The General Lee. They're gaining on us.

They're after my gold. Move it. Move it, will you.

Now Uncle Jesse, you be careful.

Be careful? I've been using this stuff

since I was 8 years old blowin' stumps.

I know what I'm doin'.

Daisy, tell him he's got 30 seconds, then let her rip.

Uncle Jesse, you got 30 seconds.

- Dang. Dang. It didn't work. - Hold on.

- 'The wheel.' - Oh.

They got them razor blades going.

You better sit in here.

That machine is meaner than Lulu Hogg before breakfast.

Now, if that don't look like two butterflies

trying to herd a bull elephant.

We're coming up on Fairview Junction real soon now.

You hang on. We're gonna drive him right into that right fork.

Now get ready to signal Uncle Jesse and Rosco.

'Fire it up, Uncle Jesse.'

♪ One, and a two, and a three ♪

♪ And a four, and a five ♪

♪ And a six, and a seven and an eight ♪

♪ And a nine, and a ten And a eleven and a twelve ♪

Hurry.

♪ 13 and 14 and 15 ♪

♪ And 16 and 17 and 18 ♪

♪ And 19 and 20 ♪

♪ 21, 22, 23, 24 ♪♪

Move it.

They're coming up behind us. The Dukes are gonna try and ram us.

They jumped right over us.

The race was now down to the fuse

and the Mean Green Machine.

With the fuse getting to the finish line first.

The Mean Green Machine taking a pit stop.

- Cooter, are you alright? - Yes sir, I'm alright.

And Crazy Coot making it almost a dead heat.

This is Cooter's turn.

That's one.

And that's two.

- Alright, Cooter. - Not bad.

Where the heck is Boss and Rosco anyway?

You couldn't shoot a bazooka for me.

You couldn't drive a motorcycle for me.

- What good are you? - Well, I flew, didn't I?

- Got you up here. - Dagblast it.

Where's my machine?

Well, them gold coins went back to where they belonged.

And so did Baxter and Hatfield, right behind bars.

Which is where Daisy is.

Serving up a round of beer and doughnuts.

Cooter's springin' for it, for the Dukes

saving his life and all.

As for Boss, he had checks to write.

His insurance company having to cover

them two Hazzard patrol cars.

But trust old Boss to look for a way to get even.

When the Dukes came to check out the Mean Green Machine

it was gone again.

And everyone around Hazzard knows

that Boss Hogg would try recouping his losses.

In the not too distant future.

Now, where do you reckon he hid it?