Original subtitles

Rosco's up for reelection.

But Hughie Hogg has a few aces up his sleeve.

Let go, let go.

'Yee-haw.'

♪ Just the Good Ol' Boys ♪

♪ Never meanin' no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you've never saw ♪

♪ Been in trouble with the law ♪

♪ Since the day they was born ♪

♪ Straightenin' the curves ♪

♪ Flattnin' the hills ♪

♪ Someday the mountain might get 'em ♪

♪ But the law never will ♪

♪ Making their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ That's just a little bit more ♪

♪ Than the law will allow ♪

♪ Just the Good Ol' Boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system ♪

♪ Like a true modern day Robin Hood ♪

'Yee-haw.'

There's supposed to be only two things certain in life

death and taxes.

But in Hazzard County, well, there's two more.

The Dukes being chased by Sheriff Rosco is one.

The other, strange things happening during elections.

Which is how this all started.

What bees do they have in their bonnets now?

We're a good ten below the speed limit.

Since when did those boys need a legitimate reason

to give us a ticket, huh?

- You say we outrun 'em? - Yeah, come on.

What do you say this time we stop

and have it out with them once and for all?

Alright.

I'm sorry, sheriff.

Enos. You dipstick.

'You scuffed my vehicle. How many times..'

Hey, Daisy. Hey, Coy. Hey, Vance.

Now, look, Rosco.

Before you start all your malarkey..

We were ten miles below the speed limit.

We didn't run any stop signs or go through any traffic lights.

Or bend or break one itty-bitty little law, Rosco.

Will you all just hush one pea-pickin' minute here?

Listen, now, I know that I-I haven't been

the best friend in the world to you Dukes...

Just what is it you want, Rosco?

Your vote. Now, I want you to vote for..

'Oh, see here. Flash is gonna vote for me.'

- 'Let me have it, darling.' - Aww!

You see? Vote. Good.

Alright, Enos. Give them one of those very valuable buttons.

- Yes, sir. - Give them each one.

- Yes, sir. You bet I will. - Hey, listen.

I want you to take this poster

and put it where it's most conspicuous

and I'd appreciate that.

Rosco, look at that. Gracious..

- Enos, give me that. - Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yes. Another little present.

A cigar. There you go.

And, uh, there you go.

Now, listen. Don't smoke it. It'll stunt your growth.

That'd be a naughty-naughty.

- Enos, get in the vehicle. - Yes. Bye, Daisy.

- Bye-bye. - 'Vote for Rosco P. Coltrane.'

- Oh, I love it, I love it. - Wait!

Vote for Rosco, every man's best friend.

Sheriff. Wait a minute. Sheriff, you're hooked up to me.

Sheriff, save me, hey.

He wants us to vote for him for reelection?

He might win it considering there's nobody else running.

That's the most ridiculous thing I ever hoid.

Will Rogers once said that he never met a man

that he didn't like.

Well, old Will had never met Boss Hogg.

Or Boss' lowlife nephew, Hughie Hogg.

What do you reckon all them electronic gizmatics is? Are?

Twenty-five hundred smackers. And that's final.

Hey, there's over 10,000 bucks worth of telephone

answering machines on that truck.

Yeah? Maybe as a legitimate price to a legitimate dealer.

But I ain't no legitimate dealer. Now, am I?

'And seeing as how them machines are hotter'

'than a Billy goat in a pepper patch'

my advice is to take this here money

or go find another fence who's dumb enough

to give you what you askin'.

- Alright. - That's what I thought.

Well, between that picture and this tape recording

I think I've got enough evidence to blackmail Uncle Boss

and own all of Hazzard County.

And then after Hazzard County, it'll be the whole state

and then, the entire US of A.

Hughie, you're one of the most conniving, rotten, bloodsucking

thieving critters I've ever met.

Wouldn't you say so?

I think he's the absolute pits.

Now, Hughie's been a troublemaker ever since

he and the Dukes was kids.

When he saw the General, well, he just couldn't resist

making a little bit more.

'Hey, look who's up ahead.'

'Let's see how the General Lee does against this car'

'since I had it souped up.'

Hey, ain't that Hughie Hogg back there?

Whoa!

'Oh, good timing, Hughie. Here's mud in your eyes.'

'Watch that mud slick.'

- 'Look out.' - 'Hughie!'

Now, that ain't normally the way you clear them pipes.

Oh, looks like he's okay.

Tell you what, he got himself cut down to size this time.

I wonder what he's doing in Hazzard.

Well, you bet one thing. It ain't good.

And that's bad.

Uncle Boss.

My no-good nephew, Hughie Hogg.

Oh, Hughie, your shifty little hands still move faster

that a scalded cat. Give me back my wallet.

Your pudgy hands ain't lost anything either, Uncle Boss.

Give me back my watch.

Hey, wait a minute. Oh, wait a minute.

What are you doing back here in Hazzard?

Last time you was here, I threw you out

told you never to return, or else..

Well, I got an "or else," Uncle Boss. Take a look.

I got a tape of the whole transaction to boot.

They might send you up the river for a spell with this evidence.

Maybe ten years with time off for good behavior.

Where in tarnation did you get that snapshot and tape?

It doesn't matter.

What does matter is that you withdraw

your support of Rosco for sheriff.

- Yeah-yeah... what? - And back me for the job.

You! Sheriff of Hazzard County?

You gotta be 12 cookies short of a dozen. Why would I do that?

'I don't think you have much choice'

seeing as how the FBI would love to have this.

Oh, Hughie. You got me over a barrel.

You miserable, double-dealing...

You can save the compliments, Uncle Boss.

Just take your fat, roly-poly little body over to Rosco

and tell him the facts of life. Go.

- But... - Go.

Oh!

'Good folks of Hazzard County'

'reelect me, Rosco P. Coltrane'

'uh, for sheriff and let me do the job'

'that I'm supposed to do.'

'And that is clean out, uh, clean up Hazzard County.'

Stay here, Flash.

- Guard the vehicle. - Rosco. Listen.

- Just a minute. - Rosco.

Excuse me. Excuse me, lady.

Would you come here, sweetheart?

Here you go, a lollipop.

Now, vote for Rosco..

She's too young to vote. Here you go. Vote for Rosco.

I'm telling you, Boss, I'm glad I only run

for reelection once every four years.

I've kissed so many babies that my lips pucker

when I get 25 feet from a can of talcum powder.

- Well, you're in luck. - Mmm.

Because you can un-pucker from here on in.

Why?

I-I'm withdrawing supporting you for reelection

and I'm now backing my nephew, Hughie Hogg for sheriff.

Oh, well, that's nice..

Are you kidding me? What?

Well, it's something that can't be helped.

I mean, I'm over a barrel, don't you know.

Hughie Hogg for sheriff?

Yeah, I know he's a pea-picking, dirty double-dealer

but... I just gotta go along with him for the office.

- Oh, would you stop whimpering! - Well, it's just..

I can't stand to see a grown half-wit cry.

Look, it hurts me more than it does you.

No.

You'll have to take that loudspeaker off your patrol car.

You can't campaign for public office in a public vehicle.

Now, I gotta go.

Well, naturally Boss couldn't tell Rosco

that he had double-crossed him by cutting him out

of them hot telephone answering machines.

Politics makes strange bedfellows.

And you can find some strange bedfellows in Hazzard County.

'My, my, my.'

'I see it, but I don't believe it.'

Boss dropped Rosco hotter than a firecracker lit at both ends.

I know. But coming out for Hughie?

Man, that boy will steal him blinder than three mice.

- I know. - That don't make any sense.

I'm gonna get Uncle Jesse. Lost Sheep to Shepherd.

Yeah, this is Shepherd. Uh, come back.

Vance told Jesse what they'd found out

and Jesse allowed that if Hughie got elected

well, he'd make Boss' thieving look like a sharecropper.

You ain't suggesting we support Rosco for sheriff, are ya?

I know it don't sound like me

and it's a sick and revoltin' idea.

But sometimes you gotta do the lesser of two evils.

So, Jesse told Daisy and the boys to fetch Rosco.

With Cooter out of town, they could use his place

to get something cooking.

And there was a lot more cooking at Boss'

who was being grilled rare by Lulu

while he was scarfing groceries out of frustration.

Why are you kicking him out

for that polecat of a pig you call a Hogg?

Because I..

Because I..

Oh, dang it! I just don't wanna discuss it!

Well, I do and until we discuss it

until you give Rosco his job back

you are gonna have to find another place to feed your face

and lay that body down.

Now, I mean it. And I mean it.

- Oh, Lulukins, please. - I do!

I don't mind about the laying down

but I sure gotta have the feeding. Lulukins.

'You're not getting any more. You hear me?'

Oh, my.

There just ain't nothing you can't get out of a woman

if you use a little sweet talk.

Mmm-mm.

Getting dumped by Boss was just the beginning.

Rosco was getting a whole load of surprises.

Like having to drive his own car

for the first time in four years.

Last time, it was the motor.

Hush.

Alright, Jesse, I'm here. So now, speak your piece.

Uh, uh..

Well, Rosco, we had a family meeting

and we decided... that Dukes is gonna back you

for sheriff of Hazzard County.

Just like it says right there on that button.

Are you kidding me?

Rosco, we figured it's the lesser of the two evils.

Gee, you little.. That sorta gives me a quiver in my liver.

I can't wait to tell Boss Hogg.

That'll really give him a vapor lock.

- Then you tell him right away. - Yes, I'm gonna..

It wasn't gonna bring any smile on Hughie Hogg's lips neither.

He was gonna know even before Boss.

"Hughie want we." Well, that may be true, girls.

But, uh, shouldn't we stand in the proper order?

Why don't you come with me down here to the end?

And, uh, you're perfect right there.

And if you'd just come with me over here, yes.

- Hughie. - Yes.

Get ready for news that'll knock your socks off.

- Oh, good. I love a surprise. - Not this one.

Dukes are throwing in with Sheriff Rosco

to help him get reelected.

Why would the Dukes wanna do that?

Maybe they hate you more than Rosco. That's not hard to do.

What are we standing around here jawing for?

Competition's one thing, but them Dukes is another.

Want you guys to get rid of them Dukes until after the election.

Then when I become sheriff, I get rid of them permanent-like.

'Now, boys, if you'll just follow me out the door'

we'll skedaddle you off down and we'll just see y'all later.

That's right. Thanks so much. Okay.

"We want Hughie."

'Whoa.'

I never thought I'd see the day us Dukes

would be campaigning for Rosco.

You got the saw by the wrong tree, partner.

We ain't helping Rosco, we're helping ourselves.

You boys ain't helping nobody.

'And you won't be hanging any more posters'

because you're going for a little ride.

Would you hold this for me?

Let's go.

- Don't let them get away. - I'll get them.

- Will this thing go any faster? - It's popping.

Maybe we could cut them Dukes off up ahead.

Friends, just think a minute now.

When was the last time that you had to look up

to see a wreck?

- Them fellows make it? - Yep.

Looks like they're gonna be taking their meals

standing up for a while.

You figure like I do, they're working for Hughie?

No other way to figure.

Hughie wants to be sheriff. He don't care who gets him there.

Vote for Rosco P. Coltrane.

You think it's funny that a Duke is supporting Rosco P. Coltrane

but he'll be a lot better sheriff than that Hughie Hogg.

'Uncle Jesse, this is Lost Sheep.'

- Hughie is a lot worse. - Yeah.

'Come back, this is Vance.'

'Lost Sheep calling Shepherd. Come back. Come in, Shepherd.'

Well, Coy and Vance told Jesse what happened

and they all reached the same conclusion.

Life just wouldn't be worth living in Hazzard

especially for a Duke

if they didn't sweep old Rosco right into office.

And, friends, that was gonna take a mighty big broom.

I've been going through your files, Uncle Boss.

- Trying to figure out my cut. - You have?

Yeah, that's right, when I become sheriff

I think the split will be, oh, 70-30.

- Oh, 70-30. Well... - 'You get the 30.'

Wait a minute, boy. You got an unfinished attic you know that?

I mean, I mean... if I yelled in your ear

I'd expect to get an echo because I never, ever...

I mean you no disrespect, Uncle Boss

I think you ought to do it my way and be real happy about it.

'Well, we tried to snatch the Dukes.'

- They got away. - Mmm.

You know, Rosco's still sheriff.

Have him arrest Coy and Vance.

Trump up some charges like, uh..

Uh, disturbing the peace or preventing a free election.

Just wait a minute.

Rosco would never arrest his two top campaigners.

He may be dumb, but he ain't that dumb.

Uh-huh, that's just the point, Uncle Boss.

You see, with the Dukes helping Rosco

that's gonna bolster his campaign.

People might start listening. After all, he is the sheriff.

So..

Suspend Rosco and make me acting sheriff.

- You? - That's right.

Or we'll both be out of a job.

Alright.

What? What?

That's my hat or your belly's gone to your head.

Boss had no choice but to bide his time

and wait for the right minute to fight back.

In the meantime, the Dukes had no time to waste at all.

And now, the sheriff's own sister, Lulu.

Thank you, Daisy.

Ladies and gentlemen, of Hazzard County

I just wanna say that I don't believe in my husband J.D.

backing that pig of a Hogg, Hughie

for my baby brother's job.

Now, I say, don't put a crook in the sheriff's office

put the crook in jail!

Right!

And now, my own Uncle Jesse.

Friends, now, you're probably wondering why us Dukes

is backing Rosco for sheriff here. Well, sometimes..

And so, Uncle Jesse went ahead and gave a campaign speech

for a man that no Duke had ever endorsed before.

'...and Rosco knows the people of this here town.'

'And Rosco is a sneak..'

Psst! Rosco.

'So when you gotta choose between Rosco..'

Boss, don't go interrupting me while all those good folks

are saying those nice things about me.

Yeah. Well, that's just the point.

I want you to arrest all them good folks, namely the Dukes.

Are you kidding me? For what?

Uh, uh, well, uh, campaigning without a license, ain't they?

'They're disturbing the peace, creating a big disturbance.'

'Wait just a pea-picking minute here.'

I'm not gonna arrest these nice folks

when they're helping me keep my job.

Well, then they just helped you out of a job.

- Mmm? - You're suspended.

'Uh, you mean, you mean I'm fired?'

No, no. You-you-you're just suspended.

For the time being, see?

Uh, hand over your badge.

- You mean my badge? - Yeah.

Come on. Come on.

This is very painful to me.

Ow-oh! You can say that again.

- This is very painful to me. - No. I meant for me.

Hughie Hogg, raise your right hand.

- Do you... - I do.

- Boys, do you? - We do.

Good. Now I pronounce you acting deputies.

Now, arrest all them Dukes for campaigning without a permit.

Oh, yeah?

Now, trying to catch one Duke, much less all four

is like trying to catch a handful of eels

with a fistful of axle grease.

Lulu. You don't know what you're doing to me.

Ah!

'Tell you what happened last night. He came over about..'

Don't lose 'em.

Even though it was late

he said he could pick me up earlier if I didn't mind

that Pete's coming along.

Well, honey, you can imagine how excited I was about that.

So anyway, they got their mamas to bed at nine o'clock. Huh?

But it means see... then, they took me to the picture show.

So anyway..

Uncle Jesse? Daisy? We're coming up on Tri-Corners.

Uncle Jesse, I want you to take the right fork.

'Daisy, you take the left. We are going up the middle.'

'They can't follow all three of us in one car.'

'So, we'll draw 'em off.'

We'll meet you later at our favorite picnic ground.

We're gone. Come on. Let's get it.

Jesse and Daisy took the side forks.

Coy slowed the General just enough on the middle road

so as to keep the heavies after them.

And it worked like a charm.

Now, all Coy and Vance had to do

was lose the weight they had picked up.

Now, let's just hope Snuffy's still working

that road construction job on the old North Road.

Vance Duke calling Snuffy. You out there, good buddy?

One thing good about the Hazzard County

Good Ol' Boys channel there's always a friend

in need out there ready to pitch in.

'Okay, start slowing down, partner.'

They must've run out of gas.

- Hey! Hey, buddy, what're.. - Put this car down!

We're officers of the law.

'Hey.'

Y'all buckle up now.

'Have a good flight.'

Thanks, Snuff. See you later.

'You got it, Vance.'

With Barclay and Norris all up in the air.

The campaign trail was still open for Rosco's helpers.

'Wind-chill factor whipping through my..'

I tell you, a man could chill his vitals

driving in this vehicle.

This is embarrassing.

No wonder I couldn't win an election driving this junk heap.

It's just..

Driving a vehicle like this is embarrassing.

Look at that thing.

Maybe a bath. Maybe just a..

Well... that's just par for the course.

This thing isn't even worth washing.

While old Rosco was giving his car

the hundred-thousand-mile kick test

old Hughie was trying out his new uniform.

- Well, Rosco. - What?

Littering the public streets, huh?

- That's gonna cost you 150. - Are you kidding?

A hundred and fifty dollars for this junk heap. It's not even..

Did you see that? Did you? You..

Why don't we make that 250?

- How would we like a... - What's your name, uh..

Think, J.D. Hogg. Think!

There's gotta be a way to stop Hughie

and get back that picture and that tape.

I got it. That's it.

Just sign right there, Rosco.

I know where to sign, you dipstick.

- There you go. - Yeah, there you go.

- Listen. Listen, Hughie, I'm... - Give me that thing, will you?

Oh, I hate you.

- Scuff him. - Rosco.

Rosco. Rosco.

- What? - Listen..

- Oh, great. - My goodness.

Alright, forget about that, will you?

And just listen to me.

Because I have got a confession to make.

Don't tell me. Tell that lowlife, Hughie Hogg.

You know what he did? He had the nerve to give me a ticket.

For littering the street with my own vehicle.

That's nothing compared to what he's done to me.

On account of, he found out that I..

And this is the confession I wanna make.

I was trying to cheat you out of a cut of a deal I'm in.

- You didn't. - I did.

- You did? - That's right.

You got more twists and turns than a corkscrew, Boss.

Well, alright, listen. I'm gonna change all that.

- You're going honest? - Uh..

Well, I withdraw that question.

What I'm gonna do is, I'm gonna get your badge back..

Oh, goody-goody gumdrops.

Once you steal back that snapshot and tape

that Hughie is using to blackmail me.

- Me? - Yeah. So, come on.

- Let's go after them. - Well, I wouldn't, Boss.

- No, don't... - Argh!

Dang that thing. Oh, look at that.

No!

- That's a mess. - I know it.

Look at this car...

- Termites. - Alright, we'll walk.

Come on, let's go.

Well, maybe Boss is the one who needs the help.

You might have a point there.

Maybe if we could help Boss with whatever it is

that Hughie's got on him, we could get Boss to change side.

What do you say we go have a talk with Boss Hogg?

Let's go.

Come on along here.

That little varmint went right in there.

There he is.

He's fast asleep in the chair.

- He's sneaking a snooze? - Yeah. Now, listen.

He's gotta have that photo and that tape in one of his pockets.

So slipping it out ought to be as easy as falling off a log.

- Easier, easier. - Alright, then go in and do it.

- Me? - Yes. Go on. Go on, will you?

Why do I always have to go?

Let's see. This one?

No, that, that one.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, there it is.

If you're looking for a close shave, buddy

you came to the right place.

Looks like Rosco's gonna have a long look at his own jail.

'You have just broke the camel's back. Now, you hear me?'

- 'I hear you.' - You get out of here.

I have put up with things over the years.

But your backing this pipsqueak for that election..

- Yeah, but I... - And now this.

This is the end, do you hear me?

- I hear you... - You're getting out.

Out! I mean it..

Who is that? Come in!

- J.D. - What?

You're getting out of this house until Rosco gets outta jail

and gets his job back as sheriff. Do you hear me?

- I do, I do. - Did I hear you right?

You're trying to tell me Rosco's in jail?

- Right. - For what?

That little worm of a Hughie Hogg

claims that Rosco tried to rob him.

- Do you believe that? - That just don't make sense.

Well, here's the little worm right now.

The short one is the worm.

Nobody move. You Dukes are under arrest.

What's the charge?

It was for disturbing the peace

and campaigning without a license.

But now it's for consorting with a known criminal.

Put the cuffs on them and cart 'em away.

Oh, is that so?

What a way to turn out the light?

Go for it, boys. Quick.

Well, the problem with being up against Hughie Hogg

is he can think.

I don't think the boys are gonna get out of this easy.

One Detroit sidewinder coming up.

'Hang on, coz. Yee-haw!'

This running ain't taking us nowhere but in circles.

You're right. What do we do now?

The way I see it, Hughie's got something

Boss and Rosco were trying to steal it back.

- We gonna find out what it is? - Yeah.

Looks like Daisy and Jesse

are gonna be keeping company with Rosco.

Having sniffed out the notion

that Hughie had something on Boss

that made Boss double-cross Rosco.

Barclay, go to the other office, put out an APB on Coy and Vance.

We'll get them Dukes one way or the other.

Norris, check on Daisy in her cell

and make sure she's comfortable and, uh

could you bring these..

Compliments of Sheriff Hughie Hogg.

Yeah.

The boys knew the first order of business

was to get their family out of jail.

And they decided to raise a real stink about it.

And they found the best man for the job.

- You hear that? - I ain't hear nothing.

- But I sure smell something. - Ain't me.

Ain't my cigar.

- There's a skunk in here. - Great call.

- Woo! - Oh!

Emancipation time.

Except for leaving an odor that you could hang a hat on

it was a clean getaway.

Well, it took some doing by the Dukes

but they finally convinced Rosco

to spill the whole bowl of beans.

Hughie's got a tape recording and a photograph

that he's blackmailing Boss Hogg with.

And that Hughie, being nobody's dummy

has probably got it locked up somewhere safe.

Maybe we could put pressure on Hughie to force his hand a mite.

Get him over a barrel so we could trade off.

Hey, y'all, what about me?

Hughie has always had eyes for me.

Hey, Daisy's got an idea there.

A woman sure can loosen up a man's tongue.

If she could get him to talking

maybe confess a couple of those shady deals of his..

Great idea. We'll hide that tape recorder on her.

If anyone can get that Hogg to squeal, Daisy can.

- Yeah. - No. Now, just a minute.

I'm not letting her go in there with that octopus piranha.

Uncle Jesse, I'll tell you what, If Hughie lays one hand on me

I'm gonna knock him flat on his butt.

Turn him like pancakes.

Well, they got a hold of a mini tape machine.

And Daisy became a walking recording studio.

You know, I know of lots of pickers

in Nashville that'd like to play there.

What you're about to witness is called a weekend plan.

Sending in a girl with a Sunday school face

against a man with Saturday night ideas.

- Hi, Hughie. - Hi.

Whoa.

I mean, Sheriff Hughie.

- I'm here to surrender. - Oh, good.

I am, I have realized that I've gotta turn myself in

because you're too much of a man for me, Hughie.

I don't know what it is but I've just always had

this hankering for you. You're so, so...

- Macho? - Yeah, that's what it is.

Yeah.

Oh. Ahem.

Do you always dress like that, Daisy?

Well, yeah. I mean, while I go swimming I do.

I thought maybe, Hughie, that you and I could... go for a swim?

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Maybe just you and me... all by ourselves.

Oh, yeah.

But first, I thought maybe you could

tell me all about yourself.

Oh, like what?

Umm, how about all those exciting

heroic ways you made all that big money?

'Cause, Hughie, I tell you

Boss Hogg says you're too stupid to do anything like that.

Yeah. Is that so?

- Uh-huh. - Yeah.

Well, he probably never told you

about the time that I bilked that bank

in Hatchapee out of all them bonds.

He probably never told you about the time that I was out there

with the boys in Loomis and had that hijacking.

Or the fencing operation going on.

He probably never told you..

Hey, Daisy, how about a kiss?

Oh, no thanks. I mean, I gotta go.

- No, you don't. - Yes, I do.

Bye-bye, Hughie.

I guess sometimes my machoness just scares 'em away.

'Boss Hogg says you're too stupid'

'to do anything like that.'

'Is that so?'

'Yeah, well, he probably never told you about the time..'

Alright, here's where it comes.

'...Hatchapee out of all of them bonds.'

'He probably... '

What'd you turn it off for?

- I didn't turn it off. - Where's the rest of it?

- The confession part? - 'I don't know, I..'

Oh, shoot a bug.

Hughie must've turned off the machine

when he tried to kiss me.

- 'Dang it.' - Good old Hughie.

He could turn anybody off.

- There went a great idea. - Yeah.

'Wait a minute. Not so fast.'

Maybe there's enough on that tape

to convince Hughie that there's more.

- You mean bluff him? - It's the only chance we got.

Let's hear what we got on it now.

Okay.

- The Dukes are doing what? - Yeah, yeah.

- Dagblast it, Rosco. - I know, I know.

Don't you realize that if them Dukes got that picture and tape

they can blackmail me the same way Hughie's doing?

Well, I didn't know that. You know, listen.

You know what, we ought to get that tape from the Duke boys

and then make our own deal with Hughie Hogg.

- That's just what I'm thinking. - Yeah.

- Come on. Let's go. - Come on. I'll drive you.

Oh, not in this mess. Come on. Use my car.

Come on.

- Be careful. - I'm driving careful.

The Dukes played the only card they had.

And old Hughie fell for it, hook, line and sinker.

'...Hatchapee out of all them bonds. He probably... '

Hear enough there, Hughie?

You Dukes think you're smart, don't you?

We're smart enough to know

that this tape played all the way through

could send you to jail for about, uh, 100 years or so.

Now, do we swap or don't we?

- We swap. - Alright, then.

Morgan Glueworks. Mainline switch. One hour.

What do we do now?

We, uh, worry a lot.

Come on, we're gonna get that tape and them Dukes

before any meeting at Morgan's Glueworks.

Now, as Coy and Vance was on their way to meet Hughie

and bail out Boss and Rosco.

Boss and Rosco was looking to get in first licks

and grab that tape away from Coy and Vance

not realizing they'd be cutting their own throats.

'Oh, look.'

- There they are, the Dukes. - I see 'em.

'And there they go.'

Did I just see what I just saw?

Boss and Rosco are back together again.

Ever notice how the simple things

seem to get complicated in Hazzard?

Got a feeling they're gonna try taking the tape from us

before we could settle up with Hughie.

Well, hang on, coz.

We're about to put some rubber between them and us.

But what the boys wasn't counting on

was a flatbed full of beer on its way to the Boar's Nest.

Because you see, life does go on, even in Hazzard.

Hey, what's that rolling toward us?

'It ain't barrels of laughs, that's for sure.'

The way I figure, they're lucky

that truck wasn't delivering sports cars.

Oh, careful. Come on, turn around.

We gotta get away from these barrels.

You're doing alright, partner.

Ain't had much practice avoiding a beer.

'Watch it, watch it.'

'What kind of a driver are you?'

'Didn't you see it coming?'

'Hey, you lost your beer. Stop.'

Would you look at that?

If that don't pretty up the scenery.

'No.'

'Well, I hate to keep Hughie waiting'

'but, uh, seems to be some damsels in distress up there.'

'Lower the lifeboats, I'm ready.'

Well, howdy, ladies. Could we be of any help?

'Sorry to disappoint you, boys.'

But you could be a real big help to me.

Thank you, girls. You can take off now.

'Just get yourselves ready for the big victory ball.'

'You had your fun now, boys.'

Saved you a trip.

Why don't you just hand over that tape

Daisy made right here and now?

- Alright. - Okay, boys.

- Hold out your hands. - 'Take care of them.'

Well, you want us to go after them, Hughie?

Waste of time. Nothing much they can do on the run as wanted men.

Besides, I got what I came for anyway.

Let's go.

Well, that does it.

If Hughie listens to that tape

he'll know we never had anything on him in the first place.

Not exactly.

Fact is, Hughie won't hear anything at all

'cause I gave him a blank tape.

I got Daisy's... right here.

That's great.

It's blank.

I've been hornswoggled. Them Dukes gave me a blank tape.

'This here is Vance Duke calling acting Sheriff Hughie Hogg.'

'You got your ears on, Hughie?'

Yeah, it's me, Vance Duke.

'You're gonna go to jail for more years'

'than your Uncle Jesse's got whiskers.'

Is that so?

If I do, you're gonna be there with me

'cause we still got that tape. Meet us at Morgan's Glueworks.

'You got 15 minutes. Don't try any funny business this time.'

Oh, Ros, Rosco, did you hear that?

- Hear what? - I got a second chance.

Yeah, come on. Come on, get going.

Get going, will you? Turn it, turn.

Come on, that's it. Now, that way.

You know, I think you kids are barking up the wrong tree.

You know that Hughie Hogg, he's nobody's fool.

You're not gonna be bluffing him a second time.

We don't intend to bluff him, Uncle Jesse.

That's why we're taking Daisy with us.

- Bye, Uncle Jesse. - See you.

Well, I sure wouldn't wanna be that Hughie Hogg.

Alright, Hughie. Let's get down to business.

- We got ours if you got yours. - Right here.

I wanna hear the tape of yours all the way through first.

You wanna hear yourself confessing to all those crimes

you committed, Hughie?

Like that phony bond deal you pulled over

at the bank in Hatchapee?

Oh, yeah. And them counterfeit plates I had made up.

Yeah, I wanna hear all that stuff.

'And like that hijacking over there in Loomis'

and like that protection racket I got running.

Oh, yeah, I wanna hear all about my fencing operation too.

'Yeah, all that stuff.'

I wanna make sure you really got it on that tape there.

If we didn't have it before, Hughie. We sure got it now.

Alright, that's just what we was waiting for.

Freeze it right there.

Well, well, well, I do believe that this brings to a close

any and all negotiations, don't it?

Now, then, Hughie, this is the end of the line for you.

Hand over that evidence. Come on, come on, come on!

Yeah. Alright.

There. Alright, Rosco, listen.

I want you to arrest my nephew, Hughie for blackmailing me.

And then, I want you to arrest these Dukes

'for blackmailing my nephew, Hughie Hogg.'

Oh, yeah. Naughty-naughty.

That way everybody goes to jail.

Wrong again, Boss. Oh, drop the gun, Rosco.

Let me just have this, fellows.

- Wait a minute. - Nice work, boys.

Afraid you're wrong too, Hughie.

See, Barclay and me figure on taking over from now on

since we got something on all of you.

Why you two-timing, double-necking..

'You can't even find an honest crook anymore.'

Watch it! Watch it!

Stand up.

Let go, let go, let go!

Let's get out of here.

Put your other hand here and push away.

Stuck to you. I'm stuck to you.

A sheriff's patrol car being chased by General Lee?

By this time, it don't even look unusual.

Coming up on Stump Hollow Road.

See if you can herd 'em onto it.

You got it.

Look out!

Folks, we're just about to see an enemy missile launch itself.

Well, Coy and Vance got them bad guys out

but the tapes and snapshots were gone forever..

Along with the patrol car that Boss made Rosco pay for.

Once Rosco got reelected and got back his badge

and Boss got Lulu back..

Which didn't seem really fair.

Lulu hadn't done anything wrong.

Boss got Lulu's permission

to break camp on their front lawn

and move back into the house.

Hughie and his double-crossing cohorts

were told to leave town and never return.

But being family old Hughie and Boss shared one final embrace.

- Put him in the back there. - Yeah.

And Hughie... don't you ever show up here again.

'Bye, bye, bye.'

Alright, then..

Wait a minute, wait..

That pint-sized popinjay of a nephew of mine

stole my gold watch and new chain. Alright, after him.

Come on, Rosco. After him.

After him. Driver? Driver?

Where's my driver? Alright, Rosco. Over here.

Ah!

The water's all over me.

Somebody help me out of here.

All of which ended a pretty normal election

in Hazzard County.