Original subtitles

Boss plays bookie with everybody else's money.

Will you hush?

Hello.

You've got my hat.

Lollapalooza!

Be my guest.

'Yee-haw.'

♪ Just the Good Ol' Boys ♪

♪ Never meaning no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you've ever saw ♪

♪ Been in trouble with the law since the day they was born ♪

♪ Straightenin' the curves ♪

♪ Flattenin' the hills ♪

♪ Someday the mountain might get 'em ♪

♪ But the law never will ♪

♪ Making their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ That's just a little bit more than the law will allow ♪

♪ Just the Good Ol' Boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system like a true modern-day Robin Hood ♪

'Yee-haw.'

Sometimes things in Hazzard ain't what they seem.

Now, here's Coy and Vance Duke chasing down Hazzard Highway.'

And it seems like Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane

is giving chase for no good reason, as usual.

So it seems..

But it ain't.

Just seems.

Well, well, well, looks like old Rosco's after us.

First time all week.

Let's give him a run for the money?

I'm with you.

Flash, would you look at those Dukes.

They're in front of us and won't get out of the way.

Boss is expecting me back, right away.

'I can't seem to shake 'em.'

Must've juiced up that engine.

I don't feel like arguing. Just do something.

Alright.

He ain't chasing us.

Kind of makes you feel unwanted, don't it?

Sure does. Like a skunk in a bunk.

Wonder why Rosco lost interest in us all of a sudden.

'Beats me.'

'Better get them roofing materials, though.'

'Uncle Jesse's waiting.'

That's the old road to Rapaho County.

As you can see, they've improved it.

What you reckon Rosco's doing over there?

We'll get those telephones inside there.

'Hey, Boss, I got..'

- 'Oh!' - Rosco! Watch it!

Rosco! Get off of me!

I brought you these phones you wanted.

Ah! You're strangling me.

You're strangling me with the phone!

Get it off of me!

You ought to have a sign hung on your brain, "out of order."

It looks like Boss has got a new wrinkle.

And it ain't fat.

He's got enough phone lines

to start a legitimate phone company.'

Or an illegal horse-betting joint.

Any of you suckers out there wanna bet which?

Just in time. Because Swifty Barnes..

Is helping me set up all this thing.

Well, he's gonna phone me any minute, now.

As soon as he gets our line hooked in.

Ooh, yeah. And then we open 'em doors

and all those people from Rapaho County..

They come flocking in here, laying their bets down.

Flocking in here and phoning in here, too.

We've spread the word. We're gonna get them both ways.

Both ways!

Alright, Swifty, come on.

What's keeping you?

Old Swifty is right on schedule.

Up a pole, rigging the hot line for Boss' bookie joint.

I'll get it.

Hello. Hello?

'This is Jesse Duke. You're gonna talk, right?'

Wrong number or somethin'.

- Hello? - Hi, Boss.

All hooked into the Duke's phone line.

Just like you asked for.

Oh, let me tell you, Swifty, you are a genius.

Now, we can't be traced, can we?

Even if we do have run in with the feds..

The Dukes only have to take the rap.

We get the money, and the Dukes get the rap. I love it!

Alright, Swifty, listen to me.

You're gonna be our front man.

So you just get yourself back here quick, you hear?

- We're opening at noon. - At noon.

- Alright, bye. - Gotcha.

Now, friends, that's dirty poo.

Framing the Dukes by using their phone line.

He's probably figured out a way

to charge all the calls to them, too.

We're not going to get in any trouble

opening a horse-betting parlor, are we?

The only ones who have to worry

about trouble are the Dukes.

It's taken Swifty Barnes and me weeks..

To set everything up.

But we've got a contingency plan

for every possible kind of problem.

Ah! Except this one.

And so, Boss' betting parlor opened for business.'

And so far as the folks in Rapaho was concerned..

It was Swifty's operation.

Because Boss and Rosco didn't show their faces.

Alright, there's $100 on the nose..

Royal Prince..

Don't take credit cards.

Fourth at Fairfield. I got it.

Thank you very much, sir.

You've got yourself a bet.

- Rosco, ain't this wonderful? - Oh, yes.

I mean, all this beautiful money coming in to us..

And nobody even knows we're here.

It is pouring in and all of it's coming from another county

which is just great.

Well, listen, we've milked them Hazzard County folks enough.

It's time to spread it around.

Oh, you got a good heart.

Okay, folks, the windows are closing.

'It's post time from the Fourth at Fairfield.'

Here, let me see. Let me see.

- Are you eating any of that? - Mmm-mmm.

There's grease on your mouth.

'As they head into the first turn..'

Listen! Get off my foot!

Uh... hello?

There goes the dang thing again.

It's been ringing all day.

I'll get it, Uncle Jesse.

Hello?

The way Swifty rigged the line

the Dukes would hear the phone ring..

But that's all they hear.

Ain't science wonderful?

Nobody there, just a lot of static.

Somebody ought to go to town and report it.

- What'd you say we go now? - Wanna come, Daisy?

Sure. That's if you don't mind doing the dishes, Uncle Jesse.

- I was gonna... - Thanks, Uncle Jesse.

'Wait a minute. I was..'

'Here they come, riding for the finish line.'

'The winner's Storm King, by a nose.'

Alright, that finishes it.

- You want some bones? - Bones?

Yeah, for your hound dog.

Swifty Barnes, my little genius!

Let my fingers go tippy-toeing through this green stuff.

Oh!

Oh, I'm sorry, Swifty. I thought I was gonna

get his tippy-toe finger.

Listen, you better get back in there

before anybody notices you're missing.

- Okay, Boss. - And you.

You get Enos on the CB.

And you make sure that everything is still nice

and peaceful back in Hazzard County.

Alright.

And remind Enos of our cover story..

That we're out in the field, reassessing county tax property.

Right. This is Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane

'calling Hazzard 2. Come back.'

'Deputy Strate here, sheriff.'

'Boy, sounds like you're far away, sheriff.'

I'm picking up a lot of static.

Where are y'all reassessing at today?

We are reassessing over near Rapaho County.

Ah! Cow chip! I told you not to blab to nobody.

Would you zip?

Listen... if them nosy Dukes get wind of where we are

and they come snooping around here..

Well, the first thing you know

they'll find out we're using their phone line.

Wouldn't that be a fine kettle of fish?

- But... - Zip!

Enos, this is J.D. Hogg.

'Listen, and you listen good.'

I don't want you to breathe a word

about where we're busy reassessing to nobody.

Especially to them Dukes. You hear me?

Don't you worry one little bit, Mr. Hogg.

You can count on me. My lips are sealed.

Real tight. Over and out, sir.

There's Enos up ahead.

'Maybe he knows what's taking up'

Boss' and Rosco's time these days.

I'm sure getting curious.

When a Duke gets curious

things start to happen.

Pull over, Enos. We wanna talk to you.

Hey, Coy.

'What's got into Enos?'

Looks like he's afraid to talk to us.

That cinches it.

There is something going on around here.

Let's find out what.

Polishing up on his driving, I'm telling you.

You know, working for the Hazzard County roads

is like being in the airport.

You ought to get hazard pay. Hazard pay, get it?

Hey, Enos. Where are you running?

Hey, Enos.

What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?

Daisy, I'm awfully sorry, but Mr. Hogg said

I shouldn't talk to y'all.

And I promised him. I gotta keep my promise.

You should, Enos. You're a good deputy.

- And reliable. - You tell something, you do it.

Thanks, Daisy.

If Boss and Rosco are building a still, none of our business.

- They ain't building a still. - I bet they are.

- No, they ain't, Daisy. - Yes, they are.

No, they ain't, Daisy, they're just doing

a little reassessing out near the Rapaho County line.

And, dang it, I said it.

- Don't worry, Enos. - We didn't hear a thing.

I wasn't supposed to tell y'all that.

- You're doing a fine job. - Bye, sugar.

Wait a minute. A man's word is his bond.

I broke my promise. Wait a minute!

'Hold on!'

Meanwhile, over in Rapaho County

a couple of outstanding citizens

was finding out about Boss' undercover operation.

Somebody's running a horse room in my county?

- How'd you find out? - The word's all around town.

Well, let's get going, honey-child.

Nobody cuts in on Big Billie Tucker.

I sure wouldn't. Boss just did.

And I think he's got trouble.

'Calling Sheriff Rosco.'

Meanwhile, back at the horse room

Boss' pick-up man was bringing in the telephone bets.

Money was pouring in like fodder filling a silo.

Come in, sheriff.

Well, ain't you gonna answer Enos?

- Go ahead, he's calling you. - Oh, good grief!

Enos, this is your superior officer, Rosco.

Listen, didn't I tell you not to..

Bother Boss and I when we're reassessing?

'Come back.'

I'm awfully sorry, sheriff

but... I accidentally let it slip to the Dukes

about you and Mr. Hogg being near Rapaho.

- No, no, that thimble brain! - You dipstick!

He's gonna ruin our entire operation.

Give me this. Enos, listen, J.D. Hogg speaking.

Now, listen, I want you to get out there

'and get them Dukes.'

'And when you do..'

if you don't wanna get yourself fired

you will detain 'em.

Do you hear me? Detain 'em. Over and out.

Yes, sir.

I'll do my best... to detain them, sir.

We're gonna have to go into action with plan B.

Oh, plan B! That's my favorite plan, plan B.

Exactly which plan is that?

- Don't you remember? - Let me guess.

Plan B is when you go out and arrest them Dukes

and clamp them in the clink.

You didn't let me guess. Okay, I'm gone.

I thought you would have remembered.

No! Don't go that way, you dodo.

- The rear door. - The rear door.

Nobody's supposed to know we're here.

Nobody's supposed to know, huh?

Well, listen. Let me ask you some..

Oh!

Okay, folks, get your bets in.

Ten minutes to post time.

'Well, we're almost at Rapaho County line.'

There just ain't nothing out here.

I wonder what Boss and Rosco are up to.

Gotta be something shady

if they don't want Enos telling where they're at.

Speaking of Enos..

Maybe, he's got something else he don't wanna tell us.

'Rosco P. Coltrane's got them blocked.'

Here they come. Here they come.

Vance!

Coming too fast.

Hold on, y'all.

If I was riding with a Duke

and he said, "Hold on", I would, tight.

'Yee-haw!'

Ooh! Eee!

I don't think Enos planned that.

I know he didn't plan that.

Uh-oh. We better go back to take a look.

'Yeah.'

Oh, honey, are you alright?

- Huh? - I'm okay, Daisy.

I'm awfully sorry. I'm supposed to detain y'all.

Looks like he did.

Alright!

Alright, you Dukes, just hold it right there.

Just freeze 'cause I got you under arrest.

You mind telling us what for?

I'd like to know what for, too.

What you did, was you..

Enos, what are you.. That's..

They were flying without a license.

Rosco, what kind of scam are you trying to pull?

It must be something really big.

Yeah, I'd bet on that.

See? See? Betting's against the law, too.

Naughty, naughty. Alright, Enos.

Do your job. Come on.

I'm awfully sorry, Daisy.

- I'm sorry, Vance. - I ain't gonna mess with you.

Here.

You let 'em get away.

'Coy! Vance! Y'all come back.'

They're getting away, sheriff.

You got my hat, sheriff.

Will you get on in there and... get out!

Well, the Dukes got away.

Which don't mean nothing this early in the game.

They're gonna be in more trouble

than a salmon spawning in a dry creek.

Oh, you're back. You're back. Alright, just a minute.

Listen, you locked up them Dukes, didn't you?

- Oh. Well, not exactly. - What?

Well, listen, I run them away from here.

And Enos, he's got his eyeball on them.

Enos does? Oh, what a time for Cletus to be away

on his vacation when we can use every man we can get.

Alright, listen.. No! Tut tut tut.

Don't you take any of that.

I got three phone calls going at once, here.

- Oh. Well, here. - Take one of these and help me.

Could you please repeat that bet of yours, now?

- Hello? What? - Ah! Rosco, you're choking me.

- I'll handle two. - Oh!

- Listen... - Don't do that!

- Rosco! - What?

- Help me. Ah! - Listen, I can't...

What? What?

'Place your bets one at a time.'

Uh-huh. Remember them?

They didn't just come from church.

This is a restricted area. You can't come in.

- Rosco, show them out. - Alright, you two.

Go on out of here. This is a restricted area.

And then you..

Grrr.

Might I introduce myself?

I'm Big Billie Tucker..

The new boss of Rapaho County.

Oh? Since when?

I'm J.D. Hogg of Hazzard County, and I never heard of you.

- Me neither. - You haven't, sugar?

I guess that's because we're kind of new to these parts.

You see, last Thursday, Rapaho had this sudden election..

That I just happened to win.

With the help of my friend, here.

- Bull. - Oh, yeah, I can see why.

'Okay, now, sweeties, who's in charge'

'of this operations?'

It sure ain't these two.

He's too fat, and he's too stupid.

Just a minute, here. You-you bent that weapon...

Wait a minute. Let me handle this.

Look, let me tell you something about your language.

You know, the man's right, Rosco.

- I am too fat. - And I'm too stupid.

Now you're getting our drift, cookies.

I wanna know who's been running this here sideshow.

'Cause he's been siphoning off all this dough from our county..

And we want our cut.

Or we start breaking some legs.

- Get it? - I got it! I got it!

Listen, b-b-b..

The brains ain't a "he." No, it's a "them."

The Duke gang. They're running this show.

We just work for them.

That's Right. It's the Dukes.

They plotted the whole thing.

You forced that out of us.

Check the numbers. It's theirs. See?

Show him the phonebook, Rosco.

The phone book, under "Duke."

Here under "Dukes."

Their phone number's our phone number.

See? See? See?

They're using their own number.

- Ain't they dumb? - How do we get there?

It's Route 17, about 3 miles east.

You come to Willow Corners, past the old schoolhouse

fork in the road, you come to Old Mill Road.

- You can't miss it. - Let's go.

Rosco, get on the CB.

Tell Enos to start tailing the Dukes

and let us know everything that happens to them.

Oh, Swifty, thank goodness you're here!

Listen, we got big troubles.

We gotta put plan C into effect.

- Plan C? - Plan C.

We're gonna close down the betting here..

And move the whole operation, fast.

- Plan C. - That's it. Go. Do it.

Now, Coy, Vance, and Daisy filled in Uncle Jesse

about some very peculiar happenings over near

the Rapaho County line.

And that phone kept ringing and ringing and ringing.

Uncle Jesse, can you figure anything shady

Boss would be pulling out in that area?

Rapaho way? Ain't nothing up there that I recall.

We got visitors.

Heck of a front for some big operators.

Come on in.

Afternoon, sweeties.

I'm Big Billie Tucker, the new boss of Rapaho County.

Oh, well, I'm Jesse Duke.

This here's Coy and Vance, my nephews.

- 'And this is Daisy, my niece.' - Howdy.

Well, what can we do for you?

Let me make this short and sweet, sugar.

Now, all of your money is coming out of our county.

And we want a cut of that horse-room action.

Horse-room? What you talking about?

The one the fat man's running for you at the old warehouse.

Fat fella?

Well, that's gotta be Boss Hogg.

J.D. for sure.

'So that's what he's doing over in Rapaho County.'

Look, you folks got this all wrong.

The fat man's running that scam. We got nothing to do with it.

That ain't the way he told it, and the sheriff backed him.

And just how come it is that all of them phones

at the feed warehouse is got your number on 'em?

That explains all that ringing.

Oh, now, listen, your fight is with J.D. Hogg..

That little fat fella you was talking to.

Don't try to con me, old man, I'm warning you.

'Now, we're tired of fooling around..'

and we don't buy your cop-out neither.

Now, do we get a piece of the action?

Or does somebody get hurt?

Okay, you got us.

It's our operation.

Oh, now, boys, uh..

Sorry, Uncle Jesse..

We ain't dragging you and Daisy into this.

Let's drive over to the horse-room.

- You'll get your money. - Now you're talking, sweetie.

Let's go.

And if you got any ideas, forget it.

Now, you boys be careful on your way over to the..

- Yeah. - '...horse-room.'

- Huh! - A-a-h!

Hold it!

Old Enos is getting better.

Ain't he?

- You forgot about the creek. - The heck I did!

I think 'em Rapaho folks is fixing to get a fast lesson

in Hazzard geography.

Yee-haw!

Well, they should be out of action for a while.

'You buzz Uncle Jesse, tell him to keep a sharp eye out.'

'We're heading to Rapaho Road to find an old feed warehouse.'

Get down there and see if you can push this thing up. Come on.

- No problem. - Come on!

That's it. It's coming.

Let's go, sugar. We're heading back to the horse farm

and teach them Dukes a lesson.

And I'm in charge of the class.

Ain't much action going on here.

This is the only old feed warehouse I know of.

Sure are a lot of tire marks around here.

Let's give it a look.

A big room just eat up with empty..

Figures.

No phones around, ain't nothing.

You know, we probably have the wrong warehouse.

- No, we don't. Look at this. - What's that?

"Twenty dollars to win, Twenty dollars to place.

"Speedy Lady, the sixth at Blue Grass."

A bet marker.

I bet you Boss just got nervous and ran.

Them turkeys from Rapaho County must have really scared Boss.

Let's go to the farm, check if Uncle Jesse and Daisy are okay.

That boy is just improving all the time.

Uncle Jesse, Coy and me just found a betting receipt..

The boys got back and brought everybody up-to-date.

And Uncle Jesse took it in stride.

And using our phone line?

Why, he's lower than a short skunk!

It makes sense, though.

They get raided, we take the rap, and we go to jail.

We've got to find out where Boss moved his betting operation to..

And put the whammy on it.

That dang phone keeps ringing.

I'd like to pull it out of the wall.

Wait a minute, Uncle Jesse.

That little old phone there might just lead us to Boss.

How's that little old thing gonna do that?

- Boss patched into our phone. - Yeah.

Now, if Coy and me check the telephone poles along it..

And see where that horse-room wire ties in..

It just might lead us straight to Boss.

Really, it's worth a try. Let's get going.

- Alright, come on. - Yes, sir.

- I'll be right with you, Coy. - Alright.

Uncle Jesse, I think we'd better do a little hunting of our own.

Good idea.

Tell her run into Boss' horse-room before we do.

- Call before you try anything. - We'll do that.

And watch out for those Rapaho cuties.

Let's go.

A-a-h!

What y'all are looking at is Boss' Plan C.

He got his whole betting operation

switched to the old Grange Hall in Rapaho.

He's bad... but he is slick.

Oh, Boss.

Doughnuts?

- Well, that does it, Boss. - Oh, good.

The phones are all switched over.

- That's better. - Yeah.

And we're still hooked into the Dukes' line.

- Oh, that's best of all. - Oh!

- Now, let me tell you, Swifty. - Uh-huh?

That you better get into action before we have any more trouble.

Oh, yeah.

We're losing money, moving around like this.

Okay, folks. Place your bets.

'Ten minutes till post time.'

Through the hole!

Through the hole, when I need.. Oh, of course.

'Look at all those suckers putting their money down.'

'Which will soon be our money.'

'Oh, I love it, I love it!'

'Hazzard 2 to Sheriff Rosco. Come in, sheriff.'

'I got a report to make.'

I'm sorry to interrupt your reassessing, sir.

Enos, this is your superior officer, Rosco.

What do you got? Come on.

Well, Coy and Vance was out of that old farmhouse, you know?

And they escaped from..

And when Enos told them

about Coy and Vance escaping from Big Billie

and how they checked out the feed warehouse

Boss really had to slow down his eating.

If they come hunting for us, they're sure to find us.

You know that, don't you?

Alright, tell Enos he's gotta lock them up and quick.

Enos, this is your superior, again.

Catch those Duke boys and put 'em in the slammer.

But you still ain't told me why, sheriff.

I don't have to tell you 'cause I'm your superior officer.

They're jumping General Lee. That means they're speeding.

- Now, just do it! - Yes, sir, over and out.

Oh oh!

Oh, shucks! I'm sorry I scared your horse.

- They took off on us. - They sure ain't here.

Let's get back to the Duke farm, fast.

Now, they gotta check every line in Hazzard County.

There must be nearly four or five of them.

'Steady as she goes, coz.'

- No break in the line, yet. - 'What when we find one?'

- 'I go to work.' - 'With what?'

Reckon do you know what old Vance has got in that bag?

With this. When I was in the merchant marines

I learned a little bit about communications.

Dang, it's Enos.

Sorry, fellas. I feel real bad about this

but I gotta lock you up, again.

No way, Enos. You had your chance. Yeah.

'You guys can't go down there.'

Hey! Help! Hey! Let me down. Help!

Help! Help! Let me out of here!

Don't Enos know it's illegal to hitch-hike?

Well, let's get back to where we left off.

You got it.

Help!

'Hey!'

They ain't here, neither.

Then we're gonna have to track 'em down.

Well, it was a heavy day for Hazzard huntin'.

But all the possum, deer and boar were all safe.

Big Billie and Bull was huntin' for Dukes

and Jesse and Daisy is huntin' for the horse room.

The boys was huntin' the patched-in phone line.

And, you know, I do believe that they just found it.

'Yeah. That drop line could be it.'

It's spliced right off that main junction box.

I'll get my stuff.

Now, folks, I think this boy has done this before.

Yep, I'm sure of it.

Stop! Stop! Hey! Help!

Kidnapping a law officer's a 211, now!

'...into the stretch, it's Macho Man

'and Little Joe, neck and neck.'

'They're coming down to the wire.

'It's Macho Man, Little Joe. It's Little Joe and Macho Man.'

'And the winner is Captain George.'

Oh no!

Well, that does it for today, folks.

But don't forget the big race tomorrow, The Dixie Derby.

Be sure and get here early. Ha ha.

How you doing up there, birdman?

I'm testing the lines, now.

- Would you quit droolin'? - Well, it's the pig...

I'll do the counting and the eating.

You just keep an eye out for Rapaho hoodlums and the Dukes.

To the hole. To the hole with you.

Well, Boss, we had us another big day.

And tomorrow's gonna be another big day, too.

Even bigger! A lollapalooza!

- You mean, plan D? - Yeah, plan D.

- Good old plan D. - That's my favorite plan is D.

Boss, would you run those, run that plan by me, again?

I'm getting a little confused with all them letters.

D follows C, which comes after A and B, dodo.

D stands for the Dixie Derby, tomorrow.

And we're gonna make a real killing.

Oh, we are!

- K for killing. - Yeah.

Things are getting too hectic, if you know what I mean.

So as soon as we clear out them suckers in there

we will just disappear.

I'll buzz my pal in Savannah and tell him it's a go.

- Yeah. - You do that.

Have any luck?

'Merle? It's Swifty. The deal is on.'

Me and Boss want a quick flash on the Dixie Derby, tomorrow

'as soon as they hit the finish line.'

You got another load of suckers?'

'Right. Over in Rapaho.'

We wanna know the winner

five minutes before the wire-service call.

For my regular cut?

Right. I'll give you the phone number.

- What you got, Vance? - The whole ball of wax.

Looks like one of Boss' flunkies just set up a scam

to cheat all them bettin' folks, tomorrow.

- How they gonna do it? - It's an old horse room racket.

They know the winner of the race five minutes before the call

then rig the odds and make a killing.

Can we stop 'em?

We're sure gonna try.

Help! Hey! Hey, stop! Stop!

I'm sorry I missed the turn back there, bub.

I'll get you down.

Oh, thank you, sir.

- I appreciate this. - How'd you get up there?

- Well, thank you, sir. - 'Man!'

'I don't know how he did it, either.'

Back her off. Okay, easy.

I thought you was kidnapping me. That's a 211.

Kidnapping an officer and I..

Big Billie was still huntin'

for the horse room's new location.

Looks like to me as if Jesse and Daisy's found it

Would you look at all them cars?

'Holy mackerel!'

That's a road that leads in to the Rapaho Grange Hall.

This is Shepherd to Lost Sheep.

So Jesse got on the CB quick to tell Vance and Coy.

Uncle Jesse found the horse room.

It's over at the old Rapaho Grange Hall.

Great. Tell him to cool it and meet us over at Cooter's.

I got me an idea.

Uncle Jesse, meet us over at Cooter's.

There they are.

Okay, hold it right there, fella.

'You're a sittin' duck.'

Friends, I'm sure glad I got my pork skins right close by.

'Cause I ain't moving.

Now, come on down. Real easy.

'You keep your hands on the wheel, where I can see 'em.'

- Let's go. Go. - Get in.

'Hey, hold it.'

Get in the car!

- Shall we try the creek again? - Be my guest.

'Yee-haw!'

Love that creek!

Alright, partner, let's head for Cooter's.

Now Cooter was off on vacation

but the Dukes had a standing offer to use his place

whenever they had a real bad need for it.

And tonight was one of them nights.

With those trigger-happy characters from Rapaho out there

we're better off staying right where we are.

Yeah, that's right. Now, what's this idea

you two got about putting J.D. out of business?

Don't ask me. He ain't told me, yet.

To tell you the truth, I'm still working on it.

So what do you say we just get some shut-eye?

We have a big day tomorrow.

And so came the day of the big race

and Boss' big swindle.

As Boss, Rosco and Swifty were getting ready

Swifty's pal, Merle, was moving into his spying position

overlooking the racetrack.

And Big Billie and her muscle man was still out huntin'

for the horse room and the Dukes.

And getting madder than a nest of hornets poked with a stick.

And meanwhile, them Dukes was gettin' ready

to carry out Vance's plan to close down Boss' horse room.

Here, I had $47 put aside, we got 56 for the hogs

and the balance makes $150.

You think that'll be enough?

If everything goes like I figure, it's gonna be perfect.

- Daisy, you about ready, yet? - I sure am, honey.

What do you think? You think Boss can recognize me?

You've covered up all the reasons he hired you for.

Don't you get sassy with me, sonny.

You wanna get smacked upside the head with this purse, here?

You look great, sugar. Here.

You and Uncle Jesse take Cooter's loan car

get in position outside of that bettin' parlor.

And leave your CB on.

Coy over here's gonna be contacting you.

Well, Daisy's the bait, but I ain't got the trap figured out.

Let me see.

The lambs are arriving for the slaughter.

I just hope they brought a lotta green wool with them.

Look, would you just quit them bad jokes?

Here, get on the CB and call Enos and tell him

to start patrolling the roads and don't let no one through.

No. And I mean by that, the Dukes or them Rapaho thugs.

Oh, yeah. Uh, uh, Enos..

Dixie Derby goes off at 2. We got 20 minutes.

Alright. I will get on Boss' line. You stand by.

- Up here. - My goodness!

Okay, folks. Next race is the big one.

The Dixie Derby.

Betting windows will be open in 15 minutes.

I'm all set. It's up to them horses, now.

'It's startin' time.'

Well, how much longer?

'The horses should be running.'

All we need is a few more minutes.

Now, just about when it looked

like the Dukes was making progress

guess who finally got it together?

Dukes!

I told you old Enos was improving.

He recognized them.

Take off. Circle back after you lose him.

Okay, Vance, come on down off that pole.

I'm sorry, but you're under arrest.

I ain't going anywhere, Enos. But you better get after Coy.

- Looks like he's getting away. - You're right. Thanks, Vance.

Now, don't you go away. I'll be right back.

Come on, you nags. Go.

'And the winner, Country Dancer.'

'Country Dancer wins it'

'Fleet Sunrise was second and Captain Jim, third.'

- Hi, Swifty. - What's happening, Merle?

I got those results for you.

The winner of the Derby is Country Dancer.

Got it. Country Dancer. Bye.

Now that's slick.

- Hello. - Hello.

Hello?

- It's right here. I got him. - Oh, yeah.

This here's Merle.

The winner of the derby is Fleet Sunrise. Bye.

- The winner is Fleet Sunrise. - Fleet Sunrise.

Alright, now listen. We raise the odds

on all the other horses. Yeah?

Give them suckers whatever they want.

But, but, but

we'll make the odds on Fleet Sunrise one to 20.

That way nobody will bid on him.

Alright, Swifty, you get in there.

Tell them to place their bets for the big derby.

It's only five minutes till post time.

Five!

'Yee-haw.'

Possum on a gumbush. I ain't gonna do that.

Whoo! Boy, them Duke boys are flat good.

Nice ducking, cuz. Come on, let's go.

- Did you get the winner? - Country Dancer.

Only Boss thinks it's Fleet Sunrise.

That's great.

- Lost Sheep to Shepherd. - Yeah.

The winner is Country Dancer.

I read you loud and clear. Country Dancer's the winner.

This is Shepherd, out.

You heard it, honey, Country Dancer. Go for it.

Okay.

If Daisy ain't careful, that walk of hers

is gonna blow her disguise from here to Roanoke.

We better get back to the horse room, and fast.

Just in case they run into any trouble.

Pardon me. What's the odds on Country Dancer?

Oh, 25 to one.

You make that 50 to one, and you got yourself a bet.

You got it. 50 to one on Country Dancer.

I bet they'd bet on a monkey pumpin' up a football.

I heard it from the horse's mouth.

So that's Vance's plan.

That's gonna wipe Boss cleaner than a plateful of chicken

when a preacher comes to dinner.

Look at all those suckers putting their money down

on Country Dancer

when Fleet Sunrise is gonna win all the time.

Betting windows are closing, folks.

The horses are in the starting gate.

And here comes our killing.

Ain't that something, folks?

To see a couple of stingers get stung?

- Money, money, money. - Money, money, money.

'They're off and running.'

'Sea Breeze is breaking out and taking the lead'

'Fleet Sunrise is second and Captain Jim is third.'

How about that? And the race is already over.

Ain't it relaxing when you know the winner?

'Around the far turn, it's Sea Breeze..'

Look at this layout.

' Captain Jim and Fleet Sunrise are neck and neck.'

I don't see J.D., anyplace.

He's probably hiding somewhere.

Where's Country Dancer, fellas?

'There goes Ezra Colley.'

He's a bettin' man. Wonder where he's coming from?

'Captain Jim and Fleet Sunrise fighting for the lead.'

'Sea Breeze is falling back. And here comes Country Dancer.'

'Country Dancer is passing Sea Breeze'

'and moving up with the leaders..'

It's those Duke boys. They done found the place.

- Let me see. Let me see. - Bad news, bad news.

- Yeah. It's them alright. - I told you.

- But they can't stop me, now. - They can't?

This is like taking candy from a baby.

Oh!

Think Boss' problems are getting complicated?

Looks like we finally hit pay dirt.

'It's a driving finish.'

'Fleet Sunrise and Captain Jim are neck andneck.'

'And here comes Country Dancer.'

'It's going to be a wild finish. And the winner, Country Dancer.'

Country Dancer?

- He just said Country Dancer. - Well, he...

- No, no, no. It's wrong. - It is wrong.

Well, I got the tip-off. The winner is Fleet Sunrise.

I know that's what you said, but that announcer

stated that Country Dancer was the winner.

I know, I know he did.

And at 50 to one we're wiped out.

Yeah, and the baby's gonna take back the candy.

No, he ain't. Well, we ain't paying off.

We ain't?

- How can we? - I don't know.

We gotta skedaddle. Come on, grab the suitcase.

Oh, yeah, well, let's..

Okay, fat man, we found you.

'And for the trouble you caused us'

we ain't just taking a cut.

We're taking it all.

Can't we just talk this over for a minute?

You had your chance, cookie. Button up.

And nobody better follow us, or somebody's gonna get shot.

Go after 'em. Don't stand there!

Come on, do something, will you?

That was a shot. A gunshot!

Get out there, will you?

Dukes. Listen, we ain't got no money.

Them thugs from Rapaho took all the money.

Listen, you get out there, and you catch 'em

and I'll drop all charges.

Go on, get going.

You drive. I'm gonna even the odds.

Got it.

- You better get after 'em. - I ain't going after 'em.

- Alright, J.D. - Oh, hello.

There's a lot of folks out here waiting for their money.

Yeah. Me and all these folks bet 50 to one on Country Dancer.

- And you gotta pay up, now. - Well, don't look at me.

And don't look at me.

Oh, now, come on. Quit stalling, J.D.

What do you mean by that?

Rosco and me, we just come by here

to investigate this illegal betting establishment.

- 'Ain't that right, Rosco?' - 'Oh, yes.'

We're investigating for several days, now.

It's been exciting. They say, "They're off and running..."

Oh, would you just hush up and go on after them crooks?

The General's been hit.

I better go with the big stuff. Hold her steady.

We can't keep going much longer. We're losing speed.

Now, that's more like it.

And so that's how Boss' horse room caper

came to an end.

As well as the careers of Bull and Billie of Rapaho.

Somebody ought to write a song about them two sweethearts.

Poor old Boss couldn't claim the money

'cause he told everybody he wasn't involved.

So the Dukes paid off all the betting folks

as old Boss ate his heart out.

And everything else he'd get his self around.

The Dukes presented their share of the winnings

to Rev. Frawley for his orphanage.

Well, the Dukes got the use of their phone back.

And things was peaceable once again in Hazzard.

But don't bet on it.