Original subtitles

♪ Just two good ol' boys ♪

♪ Never meanin' no harm ♪

♪ Beats all you never saw Been in trouble with the law ♪

♪ Since the day they was born ♪

♪ Staightnin' the curves ♪

♪ Flatnin' the hills ♪

♪ Someday the mountain might get 'em ♪

♪ But the law never will ♪

♪ Makin' their way ♪

♪ The only way they know how ♪

♪ That's just a little bit more ♪

♪ Just two good ol' boys ♪

♪ Wouldn't change if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system like a true modern day Robin Hood ♪

Every day is hunting season in Hazzard County

between the fox and the hound.

That means if you're a Duke, well, you're a fox...

with Boss Hogg's deputies playing the hounds.

Keep on it, coz.

Well, it's better than some city jobs I know.

Coy, Vance, y'all pull over right now.

Cousin Boss wants you arrested for that unpaid traffic ticket.

The south gate of the farm's just ahead.

If we make it, we're off the hook.

Cletus, that ticket's a phony and you and Enos know it!

No matter, by the time you hear the end of what I'm saying...

we'll be on Duke land.

You can't come after us without a warrant!

No warrant? He's right!

Y'all notice how Enos' driving has got better

since he got back from the city?

Well, it's somewhat better.

- We're sorry, boys. - You ought to be.

- That's gonna cost money to fix. - How much do you reckon?

Well, Cletus, how much is that ticket?

- Twenty-five dollars. - Funny, ain't it, Vance?

Just what it'll cost to fix that fence.

Amazing.

Look, I got it, Cletus.

Could you loan me $24 till tonight? I got a 1.

- Sorry. - Slippery out there.

- I'm sorry, Coy. - Here's 25.

- That's better. - Twenty-five, right, Cletus?

So the deputies gave the boys $25 to pay for the fence.

And Vance gave it back to pay for the ticket.

The government ought to do a study on Hazzard's economics.

Let's get some timbers and mend that fence.

Yeah. We don't get over here much.

There's some timber right here.

Sure looks like one unhappy lady there on the next property.

Yeah. Excuse me.

Don't mean to be butting in, but is there anything we can do?

You can hang a man named Hogg, that's what you can do.

Come on, cuz, we're gonna hear us a familiar old story.

Yep.

They brought the young couple, the Mortons, to the farm.

And their story was... Well, Boss Hogg was involved and...

Well, you figure it out.

This place is practically a dumpsite.

It don't look nothing like that picture.

- Why did you buy it? - We bought it without seeing it.

Hogg made it sound like a beautiful farm.

- He sent that brochure. - And you sent him your money?

All we had. We even borrowed from Mama.

- Do you have the contract? - No. Mr. Hogg kept it.

- He sent us only a bill of sale. - That J.D.

Hey, Uncle Jesse. Where you going?

I'm going to have a heart-to-heart talk with J.D.

- Get the kids their money back. - Uncle Jesse, let me and Coy go.

Why should I let you go?

You'll just get your insides all riled up.

- What about your insides? - Cast iron. Let's go, coz.

So, the boys took off to see

if they could get the Mortons' money from Boss Hogg.

Which is in the same category of getting blood from a turnip.

Or teeth from a chicken, or putting socks on a rooster.

Listen, we got a wonderful deal for you.

You can own your own farm at fantastic prices.

Cross my heart, ma'am.

You don't have to drill for water on that land...

no siree bob, it just squirts right out of the ground at you.

And, ma'am, listen...

that land is so rich, it pays its own taxes.

Hung up on us.

- I gotta find another one. - Look under P's. I love peas.

- And tomatoes, and... - Wait a minute.

What do you boys mean by coming in here without knocking?

As long as you're here, what do you want?

- A refund, sir, for the Mortons. - Refund!

Refund! Don't you ever use a word like that

in my presence. It's blasphemy.

What are trying to do, give my fat buddy here a vapor lock?

You cheated those kids.

They sure looked old enough to know what they wanted.

But you told them it was good farmland.

- So it is. - It's a swamp.

Well, then, let them raise alligators.

Would you hush up?

Come on now, that was a flat-out crooked deal!

Listen, them Morton kids, as you call them...

signed both a contract and a deed, all legal-like.

Can we take a look at the contract?

No, you certainly can't.

On account of it's a bona fide legal document...

which is gonna stay locked up in my official files!

- Right there in the file. - You just vamoose out of here...

before I have the sheriff toss you

in the pokey for poking your nose into this.

- That's the way out. Get out. - And stay out!

Didn't you like that knee slapper

"Let 'em raise alligators!"

Will you stop cackling and get Cletus and Enos on the CB!

Tell them to tail the Duke boys and report every move!

We gotta see how binding that contract the Mortons signed is.

But Boss and Rosco are practically

sitting on that file cabinet.

Hey. Maybe Cooter will lend us a hand.

Okay.

- Alright. Lookie here now. - Hey, Cooter.

Old Cooter'd been done in by old Boss...

more times than there was lies in Texas...

so he was more than proud to help the Dukes decoy old Boss.

I'll take care of it, don't worry about it.

Seems a couple of deputies we know are keeping an eye on us.

Let's give them something to look at.

Alright.

Watch out!

Here's one. This ought to be an easy sell.

Listen to this name. "Bledsoe." Hortense Bledsoe.

If that ain't a rich widow lady, I'll eat my hat.

Boss, is there anything wrong with your car?

Absolutely nothing.

- Why's Cooter towing it away? - Because...

What?!

Cooter's towing it away there.

My car! Cooter's towing it away!

Come on, come on, after him!

Cooter! Where do you think you're going?

Come back here!

Well, go after him.

Go after him, go after him! Don't let him get away!

Get this thing started, will you?

And so the dust was really flying on them Hazzard roads...

because we got a little double-header going here.

Go on, after him!

Enough of this hot pursuit. Let's cool them off.

Gotcha!

Oh, no, you don't, fellas! Not this time.

You think you're getting us into that lake, you're crazy!

Oh, no!

We're gonna get wet, Cletus!

- Cletus. - Now, look what you made me do!

- They're okay. - Let's go!

- My lucky hat. - Oh, your lucky hat.

You hit my lucky arm.

You made me do this. Boss's gonna take it out of your pay.

Wait a minute, Cletus, it's all your fault.

What's the matter with you?

Next time you better let me drive.

- Lookie there. - Let you drive?

He's a cute little buddy, isn't he?

You stay out of this.

Or "ribbit" yourself.

I never heard of such a thing!

How can you talk to me like that? I'm doing you a favor.

- Do me a favor? - Yeah.

There's a factory recall on that model, I gotta take it in.

My car? What kind of recall?

Defective windshield-wiper blade.

You expect me to believe a cock and bull story like that?

If you don't believe it, see if

it'll keep the rain off your windshield.

How can I? It ain't raining!

Hey, wait a minute.

Sheriff Rosco.

Unit Two to Sheriff Rosco.

Come in, sheriff.

Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane here.

Sheriff, we got some bad news for you.

You lost the Duke boys.

- How did you know, sheriff? - Them dumb dimwit deputies!

This is J.D. Hogg. Listen, where did you lose them Dukes?

Well, we lost them. They headed back toward...

I knew it. I knew it!

I can smell a polecat already somewhere.

And I mean that smell is overpowering.

You and them Dukes wanted us out of town, didn't you?

That's why you towed away my car!

What kind of fool do you think I am?

Yeah, he's a fool.

Now, the boys wasn't exactly breaking and entering.

They was trying to keep the Mortons

from being swindled out of their money.

They couldn't exactly go to the authorities...

since they was the ones doing the swindling.

Faster. Come on. Can't you go any faster than this?

I didn't know you're in a hurry.

Well, I am, because them Dukes is up to something.

Like I see it, I can smell it!

- Boss sure owns a ton of stuff. - Sure does.

That's right. Come on, now. Watch it, Sheriff!

Watch it! You almost hit that truck.

- Well, you wanted me to hurry. - All right, come on.

Boy, something's going on here, I tell you.

I mean, that smell, it's getting worse.

I got it. I got it!

"Party of the first part, Jeb and Carrie Morton, agrees to..."

That's it. Come on, let's go.

Alright, freeze! Freeze, freeze.

I got you, I got you.

Anybody know a slick, cheap lawyer?

Only place you're going is to jail.

Yeah. And now you just hand over that paper, real peaceful-like.

- Just fetch it on over here. - Come on, come on.

- Come on. Give me, give me. - Give it to us.

Alright. Give it to us.

Stop or I'll shoot!

Let's go, partner.

Freeze, freeze!

Oh, no, look!

I can't get it started.

Alright, I'll give you a push.

I got it!

Rosco, I'm gonna get them Duke boys if it's my last living act!

Give me my hat, let's go!

I wondered what happened to you. I heard you stop yelling...

"The buyer agrees he's purchasing

"the land sight unseen...

and can make no claim that would void the sale."

Looks like them poor kids are stuck.

Let's get back to the farm. See if Uncle Jesse's got any ideas.

There go the Dukes!

Looks like old Rosco dug himself out.

Hang on, cuz!

While old Boss and Rosco was chasing the Dukes...

Enos and Cletus, after they got out of the pond...

was heading right for them, simultaneously.

Together. All at once.

You scared me.

Looks like Cletus and Enos are out of the pond.

I'd have swore I just said that.

Cletus! Enos! Block the road.

Yes, sir, Mr. Hogg.

Now, don't that look like a turnip

between two pieces of white bread?

Well, I wanna thank you boys...

for bringing me back this here contract in one piece.

Now, just make yourselves nice and comfy in there.

Because you're gonna be here a long, long time.

You ain't getting away with this!

J.D., what kind of trumped-up charges

you got against these boys this time?

Ain't nothing trumped up, Jesse.

Breaking and entering is serious.

Not to mention dumping sand on a county vehicle...

and the occupants thereof.

I'm setting bail on them boys so high

they'll be here till the cows come home.

And the goats too.

What is it?

How much is the bail? We'll pay it.

- Daisy, Uncle Jesse, no! - Yeah, you go on home.

Well, I guess you boys know what's best for you.

Uncle Jesse, we can't leave them here.

Daisy, they'll take their medicine.

I wanna talk to you a little bit about those two young'uns...

that you finagled on that land out there.

I haven't got time for that, Jesse.

I ain't got no time for your preaching.

J.D., you've done some bad things in your life, but...

- Does that feel good? - Rosco.

- Y'all got bugs in here. - There's fleas in here, Rosco!

- There ain't no bugs in my cell. - Yes, there is.

Listen, I know Flash has a few fleas

and she's got a little problem.

- Is that flea powder? - Yeah, that's flea powder.

- Can I have some? - Quick, I'm losing my mind!

No, this is for Flash. I don't know...

I itch so bad, I'll take anything!

- I don't think this is for... - Please, please.

Well, alright, I'll just put some in your hand.

Put that right in there.

- That stuff smell? - I don't think... I smell good.

Freeze!

Lost Sheep calling Shepherd. Lost Sheep calling Shepherd.

The boys called Jesse and Daisy

to tell them about their escape.

And to meet them at the old steel site in Choctaw Hollow.

Looks like we've hit a blank wall.

Boss won't give the money back.

And according to that paper you signed...

near as I can figure, there's no way you're gonna get it back.

Maybe Jeb and Carrie could sell the land to somebody else.

Now, talk some sense, Daisy. There ain't two other...

Go ahead and say it. Ain't two other suckers like us around?

Wait a minute. Maybe there are.

How about, say, Boss and Rosco?

Why would Boss wanna buy back that old swamp site?

You never can tell.

Sometimes con men are the easiest people to con.

This idea I got starting just might have Boss

begging to get that land back.

What are you thinking about?

Ain't got it all fleshed out, Uncle Jesse.

But I tell you what I need.

Remember that gold inlay of yours that fell out?

- Yeah, but I ain't got any... - It's in the kitchen.

Them gold cuff links you never wear?

- Bottom drawer, your night stand - It is?

Coy, we still got them gold medals

we won at those state archery meets?

Mind telling us what's running in your head?

I will. But first I want Daisy

and Uncle Jesse to get all that stuff...

and meet us at Cooter's. Come on, let's get going.

You can usually count on Boss' greed

to outweigh his common sense.

But whether he'll swallow this one, I just don't know.

Is this about what you had in mind, Vance?

It sure is.

What do you know? A real gold nugget.

- Genuine. - What are you gonna do with it?

We're gonna take a drive down to that courthouse...

and pay our bail.

J.D., we may not agree with the charges...

but this here will cover the boys' bail, whatever it is.

What...?

What in tarnation you call this thing?

It's called plain gold.

Legal tender anywhere in this whole world.

You don't expect me to be stupid enough

to believe this is really gold?

Well, if you don't believe it, you can have it assayed.

And that wipes the slate clean.

- Oh, now, wait just a minute... - J.D., you know...

that there's enough gold there to cover the boys' bail.

But this is nothing but a yellow stone.

That there is gold. You got my word on that.

- My word is as good as gold. - Good as gold.

Come on, boys!

We got no more business here.

If that ain't enough, Boss, we'll bring you some more!

It looks like gold, don't it?

Yeah. And you look like you got brains, only you ain't.

Where in the world would the Dukes

ever get their hands on any gold?

I know. Rosco, you go fetch old man

Rhuebottom, the county assayer.

He'll get us to the bottom of this.

Alright. I'm going.

Now, ain't them purty things?

Alright, alright, Mr. Rhuebottom

you're supposed to be the county assayer.

So say something.

It's gold, alright, Mr. Hogg.

- It is gold. - Gold...!

- Pretty high quality too. - It is?

- Must be worth about $700. - Seven hundred dollars?!

Seven hundred dollars?

The whole bridge only cost four. Gold must've gone up.

Well, whatever scheme old Vance has to con the con men...

it sure looks like he's off to a right good start.

Right. Rosco, I want you and these deputies...

to get in your cars and start tailing them Dukes.

- Right. - If you can find out...

where they swiped this here gold, we can put them away...

for the rest of their natural lives.

Mr. Hogg, I don't think Uncle Jesse would steal nothing.

Enos, it don't matter what you think.

It's what I think that counts. Now, move!

Well, now we got Enos on our side.

You know, Boss sure took a nibble out of our bait.

Now, the next order of business

is getting Rosco and company off our tail.

While you boys are doing that, I'm gonna help Daisy and Cooter.

Good idea, Uncle Jesse. Come on, cuz.

You got it.

There's the Duke boys.

Pretend like you're not watching.

- Watching? - You're watching.

Will you come on!

- Let's sink that hook deeper. - Alright.

Little Bo Peep, this is Lost Sheep, do you read me?

Loud and clear, boys. What's up?

Did you find more lumps of that shiny stuff?

Lots of it. Wait till you see!

We will. Just as soon as we shake

you-know-who and his boys off our tail.

They're talking about me.

Who do they think they're kidding with that code?

I broke it just like that.

Follow me, Enos, I know what I'm doing!

I see them!

Alright, Enos, pour it on! We've got them! We've got them!

Looks like the fox has circled the hounds.

Go! Go! Get over!

No fox ever had moves like the General Lee.

I'm sorry, sheriff.

You're driving too close and you done rammed into my vehicle!

Danged incompetent...!

- They're okay. - Let's get back to Cooter's.

Now that we got our fish hooked...

let's play them a little.

The boys are headed back to Cooter's

for the second part of Vance's plan.

Well, ain't this a busy little beehive!

Well, I see that undertaking cousin of yours came through.

Yeah, old Tyrone was having a slow week.

Don't have no funerals till next Tuesday.

He said business was kind of dead.

- Miss Daisy, how'd you do? - I made out great.

The Tri-County Little Theatre group let me raid their costume.

- Look at this, honey. - I'm looking.

You're gonna have to sew that up a little bit.

A pile of fake gold nuggets...

some fancy clothes, a funeral limousine.

I'll be John Brown if I can

figure out how them things fit together.

Now, old Boss always eats like a hog when he's frustrated.

But right now, he's scarfing swill like a herd of swine.

Rosco, the only thing that'd make me feel better...

is finding out where them Dukes swiped that gold.

And since you can't keep a tail on them...

I suggest we check every jewelry store and dentist...

to find out if any of them are missing any gold.

That is a very good idea.

We just gotta find out where them Dukes swiped it.

Well, you gonna gain 50 pounds, Mr. Hogg.

Yeah, he's right about that. I'd better help you.

In Hazzard County, a limo means that

you're either rich or you're dead.

Ain't nobody dead in that car.

Boss? Boss?

You didn't see what I just saw.

Well, of course I didn't see what you just saw, you lug nut.

- What was it? - Well...

- That! - Thank you, Cooter.

If you need me, I'll be at the bar.

Very good, sir.

Put your money away, son. Drinks are on me.

Champagne for everybody!

Imported, naturally.

Rosco. Rosco.

Tell me this is a dream.

Boss, I don't think so. You don't have your P.J.s on.

And your beady, fat, little eyes are open.

Coy! Coy!

Be right with you. I need to call my broker.

Call his broker?!

Now, wouldn't that make you wanna sell the farm

and run off to the city?

- Hi there. - Hi.

Daisy, is that you, or a movie star?

Why, honey, it's just little old, rich... Terribly rich me.

I thought you was gonna sow that up.

Oh, well, I did a little.

I think this ought to cover it, John.

- What's this? - It's gold.

Real gold, honey.

Pure-D gold. But it's too much for this bar tab. Here.

Take it out of that.

Jesse Duke!

I don't know where your nephews are getting all this gold.

But when I do find out, I'm gonna put you all behind bars.

When you find out, J.D...

- you do that. - I will, so help me.

Let's go, cuz.

Cooter, my good man. Could we see you out at the limousine?

Yeah, I think one of your ashtrays is dirty.

Okay, Cooter, you know what you have to do.

Yeah, I know what I have to do.

I drive out to that creek...

that runs through your place and the Mortons' property...

and I salt that crick with these little gold nuggets.

We'll give you time before word slips out.

Okay, better get moving. Thanks again...

- for your help, good buddy. - Don't worry about it. Any time.

And, Cooter, don't forget to clean out the ashtrays.

Yes, sir.

I'm going, y'all!

Well, now, even though it won't arrive till next week...

I'd like to make a toast to our new yacht.

Oh, yes. I'll drink to that!

To the Golden Lady.

Listen, Boss, don't you worry about that yacht.

It's probably a little teeny bitty thing anyway.

I figured old Vance's plan was going a mite too smooth.

Coy Duke, look at your shoes. They're full of mud.

- So what? - So what? That ain't fitting.

Back at the Boar's Nest, meanwhile, them ritzy Dukes...

was setting the hook in old Boss even deeper.

Okay. I'll clean them.

If you think I can stay clean working the creek bed, no way.

You ain't supposed to wear good clothes in a creek bed.

It's true, though, gold is found in a creek bed.

You know something? I just remembered.

There's a creek running through the Duke property...

right on down to the Morton place.

But there couldn't be no gold in there.

No, ain't no gold.

On the other hand...

maybe we ought to get over there and give it a checkout.

Take a peek at the creek?

Make sure there ain't no gold there.

Yeah. Come on.

Let's go.

He took the bait.

- Look at him go. - Probably for me, my taxman.

- Hello? - Vance? Hey, this is Cooter.

Look, we got troubles. Limo's busted down.

I ain't got my tools

and I ain't planted them nuggets in that creek yet.

Oh, no. Boss just left. Where are you?

- Twin Forks. - Stay there. We'll come by.

- We got big trouble. - What's wrong?

- Didn't Boss fall for it? - He just left.

- Cooter's limo broke down. - Oh, no.

He never salted the creek, and if we don't get out there...

- we're gonna blow everything. - Get out there!

While Boss and Rosco headed for the creek

to look for gold...

the boys was just picking it up from Cooter.

Keep your foot on, we ain't got time to stop.

Alright. Alright!

How about that grab?

Look out, y'all!

You know, just when you think you got

things under control in Hazzard...

you run into a natural Hazzard hazard.

What's the matter with this here car?

Can't it go any faster?

Well, it's doing the best it can.

All that sand dumped on the front end

probably gave it a vapor lock.

Well, you did it.

What'd you expect from a test driver?

They can't be too far behind. Come on, let's go.

Come on, Coy. Let's go salt some gold

over on the Mortons' property.

There's that green fence like I remember.

Now then... Wait a minute.

- What? - There, see?

- I don't see nothing. - Well...

- Oh, Boss. Look. Look there. - See something?

- Something shiny. - Where?

Right over there...

- Oh, look what you done to me! - Sorry about...

Rosco, you know what I ought to do?

- What? - Take a big, handful of mud...

No, no. Don't do that. Just listen to me.

- This my good uniform. - Wait a minute.

- What's this? - What is it?

- Don't tell me. - No, I won't tell you.

- Look at this! - What is that?

- Gold! - Gold?

I found gold! Lookie here!

- I found gold! - There's another one.

- Oh, look here, another one. - Oh, another one.

- I'm rich! - Oh, we're rich!

That is, I'm richer than I was!

- Wrong, wrong. - What?

You're not rich. The Duke boys are rich.

- This is their land, remember? - So what? Finders keepers.

Hey, come on!

Here's another one! And another one!

Lookie there. There's more of them.

Oh, Boss, you know, listen.

There's gold over here on the Mortons' land too.

You mean there's gold on the Mortons' place too?

I tell you something, boy, you really goofed...

when you sold them this land.

- No, I didn't. - Yes, you did.

- No, I didn't. - Yes, you did.

- No, I didn't. - Yes, you did.

Listen. Let me ask you something.

Remember when those Duke boys tried to swipe that contract?

- Yeah, I do. - Well, I definitely heard you...

with both ears say that that contract was legal and binding.

But the Duke boys kept saying it was illegal.

- Right. - You know something?

Them Duke boys were dead right. That contract is illegal.

Get me out of here, back to town and right to my bank.

I gotta take out some money and give it to the Mortons.

- Why? - I'm gonna unsell that land.

- Get back in the car. - Boss, I'm not too sure.

- What do you mean? - Here.

I want you to go as fast as you can.

- Well... - Go! Come on!

Alright, I got mine here. Look, that's real gold.

- I know it. I'll hold my own... - Real gold!

I haven't had so much fun since shore leave in Shanghai!

Your scam's working like a charm.

Alright. Come on, cuz. We gotta get going.

- We got some more conning to do. - Alright.

- Come on, now! Come on! Come on! - That's as far as she'll go.

Oh, no. You ain't stopping here, are you?

Alright!

I got these minnows in my boots

and now I got sand in my carburetor.

The heck with what's in your carburetor...

and what's in your boots. Enos! Cletus!

- Yes, sir? - Get your carcasses in my car...

and get to the bank. I'll meet you there...

as soon as I change into some clean negotiating clothes.

And stash this here gold!

- Don't tell anybody. - No, we shouldn't.

- It's my turn to drive. - Always think it's yours.

It's not. You lost the gin rummy game.

- I don't play cards. - That's how come I'm driving.

Alright, there you are. The Duke farm and step on it.

- Right! - Wait for me!

- You didn't say you wanted to. - Cletus, you lug nut!

- I'm supposed to go. You know? - Alright. Alright.

Good grief.

That is sand all in my carburetor.

It just... What a mess!

I'll borrow some of Cooter's tools.

I don't think he'll mind.

Gold.

Boy, that's what I call rich.

When you leave those little rascals just laying around.

Oh, there's another one.

And there's some silver!

Silver?

That ain't silver, that's lead.

Gold spray paint.

Now, even Rosco had enough smarts to tell gold from lead.

- The plot's starting to sicken. - Sneaky Dukes!

They made fake gold. They're scamming the Boss.

What a time for my vehicle to be indisposed!

I'll borrow old Cletus' car.

You dipstick, I'll use your car!

The Dukes is getting ready for the grand finale.

This is beautiful!

Boss, this is Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.

Have you got your plump, little ears on? Come on.

Boss? I'm serious now. Get your ears on.

Alright, alright. Stop right here, Cletus.

- Now let me out. - Yes, sir.

And hold on to this. Good.

- Well, there's J.D. - Well, hello, Jesse.

This is some spread you got here.

It sure is good to be rich.

It certainly is, J.D., it certainly is.

Oh, J.D., you know our new neighbors here, the Mortons.

Yeah, of course I do.

As a matter of fact...

I was hoping to run into you two.

- What for? - Well, I'll tell you.

No matter what anybody says about me...

the fact remains, I am an honest man.

- Oh, come on now, Boss. - It's true. And to prove it...

I took this contract you signed for my land...

to one of the best lawyers in these here parts.

To go over it with a fine-toothed comb.

And he did come up with a couple of

itty-bitty, little, technical points...

that makes this contract illegal.

- Illegal? - And you're willing to admit it?

And what's more, I'm tearing the whole thing up...

- right in front of your eyes. - Do you know what you're doing?

Of course I do.

And what I'm also gonna do is, I'm gonna give you Mortons...

every penny of your money back.

All you gotta do is sign this new deed

transferring title back to me.

There's only one problem with that, Boss.

We were gonna buy the land for ourselves.

- What? - Yep. To build us a lake.

For sailing our new yacht.

Moonlight cruises. Fun, fun!

Don't listen to them. Listen to me. I tell you what I'll do.

I'll give you double what you kids paid me for that land.

Cletus, give me that money!

Here. It's exactly what I brought with me. Just in case.

Well, I don't know. What do you think, Uncle Jesse?

Well, you kids is gonna have to do what you think best.

Us Dukes could always find

somewhere else to sail our yacht.

- Uncle Jesse, no, I... - There are hundreds of places.

So, what do you say? What do you say, kids?

Alright, Mr. Hogg. You got yourself a deal.

Alright! That's a smart boy.

Now, here, you just sign right there, on the dotted line.

- Here you go. - Signed, sealed and delivered.

And here's your cash money. Just like I promised.

J.D., I tell you what, let's let bygones be bygones.

And we'll have ourselves a nice julep toast, what do you say?

I can't do that, neighbors.

I gotta get me over to Capitol City, get the new deed recorded.

You want me to drive you, cousin Boss?

No, I don't want you to drive me, Cletus. Stay here with Enos.

You stand guard over the land I just bought back.

- Yes, sir. - Don't you let nobody trespass.

- Do you hear me? - No, sir.

In Hazzard County, any land transaction

ain't final until the deed's recorded.

That's why Boss moved so fast.

I can't believe it. We even made money. All because of you folks.

We don't know how to thank you.

Well, righting a wrong, that's thanks enough.

Who's that?

It's Rosco! Wonder what he wants.

Hi, sheriff.

- How you been, sheriff? - Hush!

Alright. Where's the Boss?

On his way to Capitol City.

- Why? - Why? I'll tell you why. "Why?"

You see those? Those are genuine gold lead nuggets, they're fake.

Rosco, I can explain about that. They're...

I don't want you to explain about nothing.

Alright, Cletus, cuff them and stuff them.

- Why? - I gotta get Boss and stop him.

- Why, sheriff? - What? Are you crazy?

I'll tell you why, because they've been passing fake...

Get your hands off that. - -gold nuggets.

And they're impersonating rich folks.

Now, do what I tell you!

If Boss don't get to Capitol City

to record that deed, the deal ain't final.

It'll blow everything.

Then we better stop Rosco from catching him.

Coy. Vance. Where y'all going?

We're just going to put the General in the barn.

Barn, huh?

General Lee, huh? Okay.

Stop!

Dang it, Coy. You told me a fib.

Mine, all mine!

Rosco's driving like a man possessed.

Put it to the floor, cuz. We gotta catch him.

We got our work cut out for us, partner.

Hey, Rosco, pull over. We wanna talk to you.

Just get back there. Get...

Don't get so close.

Alright, get back to the farm. You two are under arrest.

I said don't...!

Now, I'm serious.

The boys better not have any more spinouts...

or they'll never catch Rosco.

Capitol City. I think we lost this one, Vance.

No, we didn't! There's Rosco.

Hit it!

Hang on, cuz!

Alright. Hey, Boss Hogg!

Don't do anything. Stop! Stop!

Now listen, don't record that deed.

Don't record it? I just did!

That land is mine again. Ain't that good news?

That's bad news. That's terrible news.

- What? - Dukes, they done hogwinked you.

- What are you talking about? - They used phony gold.

- Phony gold?! - Yeah.

Those Dukes are as poor as church mice. So is the Mortons.

- All that gold was lead. - Lead?

That's right, Boss. Except the one Uncle Jesse gave you.

Well, don't just stand there.

- Arrest them. Arrest them. - Alright.

- For fraud. - Wait a minute, Rosco.

You arrest us for fraud, you have to arrest Boss too.

And you won't have a chance.

You know how judges feel about young, innocent newlyweds...

like the Mortons getting swindled.

There's seven of us as witnesses.

- Right. - No!

And I thought when Bo and Luke left, my troubles were over.

Well, it was a tradeoff.

Even-steven. Boss' land scam for the Dukes' gold scam.

Them nice young Mortons made enough money out of this...

to buy a real farm on the other side of the county.

The Dukes? Well, they just kept on being the Dukes...

whose full-time job is keeping things normal.

For Hazzard County.

Gyuh gyuh gyuh!