Original subtitles

Hey!

Ho!

Here she is, the big attraction!

Ethel, the human chimpanzee!

She reads, writes, plays the piano, and milks a cow!

Aha!

Something for men only, Lady Godiva, and Peeping Tom.

Wait a minute!

Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Ohhh!

Wait, wait a minute!

Get off of my face!

That settles it.

That's the last time that I'm gonna

be in this end of the horse.

Well, I can't go in there.

Why?

Well, you look better in that end than I do.

Do you mean to insinuate that I look like a horse's...

Come on, come on, you guys.

Get busy, hurry up there now, make it snappy.

Get a move on around here.

There's too much stalling going on.

Yes, sir.

Give me a hand.

Here.

Ladies and gentlemen, the next stupendous attraction will

be the one and only Destructo, the cannon-ball king.

Ow!

Aah!

Hold this a minute.

You ruined my first trick.

Get the cannon ready.

Yes, sir.

Announce the cannon trick.

Ladies and gentlemen, the great

Destructo will capture cannonball

shot from a real cannon, and that is not all,

ladies and gentlemen, Destructo will be blindfolded.

Oh, it's gonna...

Get out of here quick, it's...

Well, after seven weeks of continuous rains and no

business, I'm afraid we've got to fold up.

I'm flat broke.

Well, how about our salary?

Yeah!

Yeah, and how about me?

You haven't given me one dime since we left Houston.

Well, now, just a minute.

I can't give you what I haven't got,

and I want to do the right thing.

I've got a plan.

I am gonna split up this show evenly amongst you.

How do you mean?

I mean that each one of you will receive

some valuable part of the show in place of your salary.

Now, I am gonna take and write each separate item

on a piece of paper and place them in a hat,

and what each one of you draw, you get.

Oh!

I'll probably draw the talking cuckoo!

Well, nevertheless, that's what I'm gonna do.

You said the same thing in Des Moines!

You got to have money to eat!

What'cha doing?

I'm building a crate.

What for?

Look at what I drew.

What'cha gonna do with her?

I'm gonna try and sell it to the zoo.

Oh.

What did you draw?

I got the flea circus, see?

Keep that box closed!

Here.

Now keep it closed.

Haven't I got enough trouble?

Come on, Ethel.

Come on, Ethel.

Come on, Ethel!

Aah!

Ah!

Oh, maybe she likes you better than she does me.

Go see what you can do with her.

Aah!

Get some rope, and we'll tie him up.

Aah!

Get back in there!

Go on, get in there!

Get, get, get back in!

Go on, get in there!

Stan!

Get in there!

Oh, no!

Stan!

Oh, Stan!

Stan! Get...

What'd you get in there for?

None of your business, get me out of here!

Get him in there!

Get him in there and nail it up.

Now nail it up.

Nail it up quick so he won't get out, now.

Oh, the lion, the lion!

Get... oh!

Let's get out!

Oh, come on!

I guess we'd better get a room.

How are we gonna pay for that?

We haven't got a dime.

Well, that's simple.

Why, tomorrow, we'll, uh...

Tomorrow, we'll sell Ethel, then you

and me will be on easy street.

Oh, alright, let's get a room with twin beds.

Why twin beds?

One for me.

Well, I can't sleep with the monkey.

Oh, she won't mind.

You don't mind sleeping with Ollie, do ya?

No, she doesn't.

Come on, Ethel.

Twin beds.

What's the matter, Joe?

You're a bundle of nerves.

Oh, it's that rattle-brained wife of mine.

She's at it again!

What is she up to now?

She went out this afternoon,

and here it is, 11:00, and she's not back yet.

If I thought she was chasing around again...

Well...

I wouldn't be responsible for my actions!

Oh, forget it, Joe, you're getting

worked up over nothing.

You wait here, and I'll go and see if I can get a room.

Ah!

There she is now.

I'd like to be alone.

Well, I guess I'll be going.

Come in here!

Oh, I beg your pardon, I thought you were my wife.

Well, that's quite all right.

What can I do for you?

Well, I'd like to get a room.

Why, certainly, sir.

Here, just register right here, there you are.

Sh!

Aah, there's...

Oh, what in heaven's name is that?

Oh, yes, I forgot to mention one little item.

We'd like to keep the monkey here for the night, too.

No monkeys in my hotel!

Get it out of here!

We can't leave it outside.

No, he might get cold and die of ammonia.

Not ammonia, he means pewmonia.

I don't care if you all die of pewmonia!

Get it out of here!

Well, if we leave the monkey

outside, can we have our room?

Alright, but get the monkey out of here!

This is no zoo!

Get it out, get it out of here!

Get it out of here!

Go on, go on!

Go, get out of here!

Go!

Now, why did you come running in there with the monkey?

I just saw MGM.

What do you mean, MGM?

He came around the...

Go, go!

Let's go get our room.

Didn't you hear the landlord say

that we couldn't bring the monkey in there?

I know he did, but what are we going to do,

we can't stay here all night!

I got an idea, get in there.

Now, you sneak her upstairs quietly

and throw my clothes out the window.

And suppose the landlord sees us?

Why, he'll think it's me.

Go ahead.

Aah!

Oh!

Let Ethel get it, she can reach further than you.

Oh!

Ethel!

Come in here!

No!

Lion's in there.

That's a good idea.

What?

Lock her in there for the night.

Have you got a lock?

No, "Have you got a lock?"

Aah!

Will you quit your playing?

Get out of here.

Why don't you lie still and go to sleep?

You're the most fidgety person I ever saw.

Move over.

Ouch!

How many times have I told you to trim your toe nails?

Aah, get out of there!

Come on, get out of there.

Now, sleep in there.

Oh!

What'd you do with the flea circus?

Don't throw those things on me!

Quit shaking them out.

Come on, we'll get in the other bed.

Ethel, will you stop that and come to bed?

Ethel, will you let him alone?

Ethel, will you stop it and go to bed?

Ethel!

If that fat-headed landlord finds

she's in here, he'll throw us all out.

Open that door!

Come on, open that door!

Oh, that's him now, let's hide her.

Let's hide her.

I know she's in there, open that door!

Let me in, or I'll break the door down!

Bring her in here!

Open this door, I tell you!

I know she's in there!

Lay down.

Open that door!

Open that door up, open that door!

Let me in there, I say!

Oh, the fleas!

You want me to break this door down?

Open it, you open it!

Where is she?

Where is who?

My...

My Ethel.

No!

Aha!

Now, what did you get...

Now, there you are!

You deceitful trifler, you!

To think that you would do this to me!

You, the bearer of my name, the mother of my children!

You know that I've loved you,

loved you more than life itself!

Oh, Ethel!

Get that thing out of here!

But you said you loved her...

Get it out of here!

Get that thing out of here.

Get it out of here!

Come on, Ethel.

Come on, and get out of here.

Aah!