Original subtitles

"Men's orgasms last between 5 and 10 seconds,

while women's orgasms can last longer than 15 seconds.

Therefore, the chances of a couple having a simultaneous orgasm are rare."

We are complete now.

Hey! Hey!

You finally made it! How are you guys?

- Hi. - Hello.

Wow. You look great, man.

- I thought it was a costume party. - Want a beer?

- Okay. - Okay. Excuse me.

- Well... - See you later.

- Hello. - Hi.

- How are you, darling? - Fine.

- I'll take your coat. - Thank you.

It's nice that we're all here.

- I thought you weren't coming. - It's just so exciting.

I wasn't coming. It's not like I lied to you...

- Valentín insisted and... - Come on, Gaby.

Stop making excuses. We're all here for a reason.

And you look gorgeous.

Thank you.

What are you doing here? And showing all of this cleavage!

- I would've never expected it. - We changed plans at the last minute.

Wow! The ladies finally dared to come!

I mean, wow that you are here. It's so cool.

I feel like I'm an old soul.

You know? That's why I feel so attached to your generation.

- Cheers to our "generation." - Cheers.

- Cheers. - You are so sweet.

I love your music. 90s music is so vintage.

I love that music!

Vintage?

We were in high school in the 90s.

What do you mean? How old are you?

This old lady needs a glass of wine.

And I need my husband.

- And I need a tequila. - What kind of music was in the 70s?

Disco music.

Kombucha!

- Were you looking for this? - You scared me.

That's right.

I thought so.

What?

- Are you nervous? - No. Of course not.

I just needed a drink.

- Thanks. - You look amazing in red.

You should wear it more often.

Thanks. I'll keep that in mind.

- Are you gathering courage? - No.

No?

I'm ready to play.

The guy whose keys you'll pick...

is going to be very lucky.

Maybe you'll get lucky tonight.

Hey, guys! It's time to play! Join me.

Come here.

I'll do it gladly.

Excellent. Now, it's our turn.

Who goes first?

You go first, Adriana.

Just pick one!

Come on, ladies, cheer up! This is a party!

Okay.

Who's your match tonight?

Good!

Those are mine. I'm Pato, nice to meet you.

Hello, Pato.

These are yours, aren't they, Valentín?

These are house keys, not car keys...

They are mine. My car happens to be at the shop.

I think these keys are familiar to me.

And these?

Okay...

Let the party begin!

Cheers!

Cheers!

THE GAME OF KEYS

- Shall I close the door? - Yes, please.

You're so kind.

Right.

- I want to fuck. I want to fuck. - What?

What?

Oh, nothing. I was looking at your picture and wondered...

Is that your real body or Photoshop?

Look.

You can touch.

Touch me!

My God! You are gorgeous.

- You don't need Photoshop. - I'm a model too.

- Excellent, Pato. - I'm glad you've liked me.

- Because you, dear lady... - No, please. Call me Adriana.

- Otherwise you make me feel old. - You're not old!

You are beautiful, and you must be very skilled.

I was hoping you'd pick out my keys.

- A beer? - Okay.

- Fine. - No, come here.

Like this.

No. Wait.

What?

What?

Are you sure we should do it?

- Are you having second thoughts? - Remember last time.

What if it's a test and Adriana gets pissed off again?

Adriana is having...

a great time.

- Wait. - What?

- Let's enjoy this. - Okay. Show me.

Follow me.

Okay. I'll tell you.

It turns me on.

My first crush was my Biology teacher, Miss Álvarez.

In ninth grade. She never smiled.

She'd scold like shit if you were late.

But when she was writing on the blackboard...

I couldn't help but look at her beautiful ass.

That's why I didn't really learn much about Biology but a lot about asses.

Morales!

Yes, Barbs?

Miss Álvarez!

Yes, Miss?

Wipe that sly smile out of your face. And tell me...

Did you learn today's lesson?

No, Miss Álvarez. I'm sorry.

I was absent-minded.

Do I have to teach you the Anatomy lesson again?

I think you do, Miss Álvarez.

These... are my mammary glands.

Do you like them, Morales?

I love them, Miss Álvarez.

You are young and energetic.

Congratulations.

You are amazing.

No, no. Wait! What are you doing?

No one has done this to you before?

Obviously, the prostate is a man's G-spot.

Good. I think it's great.

- That feels really good. - You liked it?

I did. It feels uncomfortable but good.

Wait! Wait! I was liking it.

- Trust me. You'll like it more. - Really?

What's that?

I'll let you pick one of my toys.

But I don't want to.

That's not an option. Just pick one.

- We can start with this one. - No...

Well...

We can use this short one.

It could feel nice. The other one...

- Just trust me, okay? - Okay.

Then we could use this one here.

Okay.

Most people claim the best oysters can be found in Marseille.

Are they really aphrodisiacs?

Some say yes, some say no. Others think it's a myth...

Did I scare you?

No. You...

You just took me by surprise.

I'm not getting used to this game, Siena.

Relax. Let me guide you.

How do you and Sergio make love?

Sergio and I? In different ways.

- Like what? - We start kissing. Like this.

Why didn't you mention you were gay?

Because I'm not.

I'm married to a woman, Gaby.

Relax.

I know it's hard, but you don't need to pretend with me.

I've been attracted to women too.

Don't feel bad.

Siena...

I swear I love my wife.

That's the point of this game.

Figuring out who we really are.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

It's okay.

- That can happen to anybody. - It always happens to me.

It must be the steroids.

It's okay.

I've always wanted to play Patrick Swayze.

I've always wanted to be Demi, too.

So?

What grade did I get, Miss Álvarez?

C-.

C-?

Well, you got an A.

Great.

Didn't you ever have sex with a teacher?

Let's just say I was more interested...

in the student body.

You mean Adriana?

Between Adriana and I, nothing ever happened.

But you wish it had happened.

Adriana and I are just friends.

That's funny. She says the same thing about you.

Why do you think it's funny?

I think you're both liars.

I'm taking my torn panties with me.

Really? C-?

- I got soap in my eye! - Let me help you.

Wait. I can't see anything.

Where are you?

I can't see anything.

Oh! Big Óscar!

I've found you.

Really? We can play "Anaconda" now.

I'm glad he's finally here.

- Hi, honey. - Hello.

No!

Don't tell me you got cold feet again and you're going to take it out on me?

No, no, no, no. I didn't hold back.

The boy turned out to be a pre-mature ejaculator.

Happy now?

He seemed like such an alpha male.

Well, look at the bright side.

Maybe he liked you so much that he couldn't hold and came.

Don't try and cheer me up.

- Let's go, please. - Okay.

And you? How did it go?

Good. Normal, I guess.

I think we're all a little...

gay, bisexual, straight.

I think you need to experiment in order to clear your mind.

What do you suggest? Take a picture of my penis and post it?

- No. - I won't do that.

That's not what I'm saying.

Besides, I don't think you're ready to use those apps.

But I can introduce you to a friend.

I'm married, Siena.

I can be anything you want, but I'm not a cheater.

What if I told you there's a way to experience it, without cheating?

Really?

A Game of Keys sexually open to any possibility.

You can find out whether you're gay without cheating on your wife.

Listen, I don't have the money yet.

But I'm planning my birthday party

including the game, and I think it's going to be incredible.

I have money.

- No, Valentin. I can't take it. - It'll be your birthday gift.

Please?

- Let me give it to you. - Okay, fine.

Done.

Thank you.

I love you.

Óscar?

Sleep tight, honey.

Good night.

Baby?

Good morning.

I don't know what's good about it.

Are you grumpy?

I told you it was a bad idea to play again, but you insisted.

I'm not mad, Óscar.

We did well in playing, and you didn't do anything wrong.

I'm just tired because I didn't get a good night's sleep.

And I'm stressed.

I have to plan Mica's birthday party. That's all!

Shall I take care of it?

You look stressed out.

I can handle it. I'm fine.

- And you're not going to act weird? - What do you mean?

I'm afraid you'll force Mica's friends to talk to you.

Leave them alone. Mica is 15 now.

Don't mess with her.

And when have I ever messed with her?

She told me you were acting weird with her friends the other day.

Now I'm acting weird

because I'm worried that a 15-year-old girl

doesn't want to leave her house for her birthday?

That she'd she rather stay home and watch a Japanese cartoon marathon?

It's not porn.

When I turned 15, I went to the movies to watch "The Matrix"

with my friends, and it was the best birthday ever.

You were a nerd, too.

Okay.

You can't imagine the look on the lady's face.

But it was obvious. Her husband was banging the nanny.

I think listening to voice notes in public should be punished...

by a death sentence, or something like that.

Vale?

What's up? Are you okay?

- I thought you were enjoying the chat. - Sure.

I was thinking of something else. I'm sorry.

You can tell me, if you want.

Not only am I a good talker, but a good listener too.

What if someone has doubts about their own sexual preferences?

Maybe he always thought he was straight

but then he feels different from other guys.

What if though he has never been with another guy, sometimes...

he is attracted to one?

Does that necessarily make you gay?

There's a very simple way to find out.

If you want, I can show you.

I mean, if it helps you with your book, and all that.

Oh, sure. It would be very helpful.

And that's how you find out.

Shall we?

Come on, Chata.

What do you think?

She scolded me.

And made me take Anatomy lessons.

Really?

- And what did you do? - What could I do?

I listened...

like the good student that I am.

And you? How did it go?

Good. Valentín is very handsome.

Please!

Come on! Tell me!

Better, how about I show you what I did to him.

Okay.

Good, Akiko! Be confident!

Give me your popcorn, mine are almost gone.

Here he comes!

He is so cute!

- He is. - I'm his fan.

I've already started a chat with the contacts from her school.

As soon as I text them, they'll be here.

Listen, Adriana. We've talked about this.

I know. I must leave her alone, and don't start acting weird.

Let them finish all the episodes. Then you can talk to them.

- How much longer? - 500 episodes.

- Do you want pizza? - Yes.

As soon as this episode ends, okay?

I'll go get the pizzas.

Like in 15 minutes.

Are you okay?

Yes. I'm fine, honey.

You?

Me too.

I'm fine.

- Good. - Dinner?

Okay. Take-out?

- Okay. - Sushi?

Here's more popcorn while the pizza arrives.

- Thank you. - What are you watching?

"High School Blues", Mom.

Same show we've been watching for two hours.

Aren't you bored?

Let's have a small chat. How are you doing with the boys?

- Do any of you have a boyfriend? - Mom?

- Not me. - Please?

I had one. But we broke up. He was so boring.

Good for you!

You guys don't need boring. Just have fun, girls.

You need to experiment...

You have to meet new friends.

- Madam, did you...? - Just call me Adriana.

- I love your pigtails. - Thanks.

Adriana, did you date many guys at school?

I didn't.

In fact, I married my high school sweetheart.

Really?

That's why I think it's very important that you have fun.

I was just a few years older than you are.

Can I make a confession? Okay.

If I could start all over again...

I'd date more guys before getting married. At least nine more.

Girls, seriously, before you marry, date at least ten guys.

Really!

Dad, I'm so glad you're back. Can you take my mom with you?

- In a second. - Why?

See you later.

- Your mom is so cool. - I wish mine were like her.

You can have her.

Your life is so disappointing that you pour it out to a bunch of teenagers?

It isn't like that.

And I'm really sorry for making you feel bad, I didn't mean to.

What's so messed up between us...

with your family, that you feel you have to make it right?

Mica is a happy, healthy girl.

And maybe she's not the most popular girl in school,

but who fucking cares?

I'm sorry! Maybe I'm just projecting my problems onto her.

What problems? Are you disappointed in this marriage?

I have the right to wonder

whether I've made the right decisions in my life.

And I've wondered too...

what it would be like had I made a different choice.

But that doesn't mean I'm disappointed.

Don't you ever wonder what it would be like

if we hadn't rushed into marriage?

Rushed?

I can't believe it.

I married you because I was madly in love with you.

Me too.

I know, but...

You seem to have settled for your mediocre school sweetheart.

You're wrong, Óscar. You aren't being fair.

We were 20 years old.

I hate to think that the best years of our lives are gone.

I can't fucking believe this, Adriana!

I CAN'T TAKE YOU OUT OF MY MIND. CAN WE MEET?

Let's groom you, boy.

Good boy!

That's right. Good boy.

Good boy!

You're going to look so cute.

Yes, you're going to look so cute.

A lot of female puppies will fall for you.

You are a good boy, Tadeo.

NO REGRETS

I'LL GO TO THE CONCERT WITH YOU