All language subtitles for Tyler.Perrys.House.of.Payne.S14E04.1080p.WEB.h264-BAE_track3_[eng]

[upbeat music]

Miranda, grab my purse.

Oh, okay. I got it.

Oh boy.
Oh my goodness!

Miss Ella, are you sure

that you don't want me to go
with you?

Yes, I am positive.
I know.

Laura and I need to talk,

and we need to talk by ourselves
for now.

I mean, I could wait in the car.

Listen, I promise you,

Laura does not want any of that,
what was that Jazmine called it?

Smoke.

She ain't want none of that
with me.

[laughs]
Okay, okay.

-I know that's right.
-Block me on the phone.

Okay, if I'm standing right
there in front of her,

-what's she going to do then?
-[Miranda] I don't know.

-Block me now.
-That part.

That part.
But you know what, Miss Ella?

Being the voice of reason,

I am happy that you're going
to talk to Laura face to face.

I just hope Calvin has not gone
over there

and made a mess of things.

Well, I was able to catch him
and calm him down some,

so I think we're okay.

I don't think he had time
to mess anything up anymore.

Well, I'm going to make sure.

I thought Malik could eat.

He ain't got nothing
on Christian.

-It's Grandma Ella's cooking.
-Aw, thank you, baby.

I'm glad you like it.

Where are you going, Auntie?

Uh, I am going to talk
to Blocked Me.

-Mm-hmm.
-You about to go talk to him?

[Ella] Yes.

Hey, uh, go make yourself
a to-go plate.

-All right, bet.
-[laughs]

[Ella] It's time.

It's time that we put all
of this drama to rest.

Yo, you want me to roll
with you?

-No.
-Are you sure?

No, I do not want you
or Miranda rolling anywhere.

I think you need a witness.

No, I don't need a...

-Hey, baby, where you going?
-Hi, baby.

I am going to talk to Laura.

-Talk to Laura?
-[Ella] Yes.

Um, you think that's a good
idea?

Curtis, I think it's
a fine idea.

She and I need to squash all
of this foolishness.

Okay, well, let me go to
the restroom real quick.

No, no, no, Curtis.
I'm going by myself now.

Well, baby, okay.

Okay, does Calvin know
you're going?

No, and I do not want you
to mention it to him.

Hmm-uh.

[Curtis] You sure he shouldn't
be sitting with you?

Curtis, that's gonna only
make things worse.

Okay, Mr. Payne,
let me tell you,

when Calvin came over here

and found out that Laura
had blocked Miss Ella...

-Woohoo.
-Curtis, Calvin was so mad.

-Yeah, he was hot.
-[Ella] I'm telling you.

I heard him from the kitchen.

He was like,
"I am so outraged!"

Shut the tape!

I'm gonna see myself in
the house.

Curtis, I have never seen
Calvin this mad.

So I said, "I'm going
to talk to Laura,

and I gotta leave Calvin out
of this."

-[Miranda] Mm-hmm.
-[Ella] Yes.

Oh, okay.

All right, well,
I'm not gonna press the issue.

Um, just let me know
how it goes.

-Okay, baby.
-Okay.

-I'll call you.
-[Curtis] Okay.

I know one thing.
Laura better not get crunked.

-I know that.
-Oh, please.

Like you said, she don't want
no smoke with me.

Oh, she got the smoke.
That's what I'm talking about.

[laughs]

-Yeah.
-Laura better pump.

I'm not smoking.

Hi, Miss Ella.
Jazmine, Miranda.

-Hey, Laura.
-Hello.

[theme music]

[birds chirping]

[sirens wailing]
[horns honking]

[sirens wailing]

[helicopter blades
whirring]

Come on, Laura.
Come on in.

-Are you sure?
-I am.

Okay.

Because I know the last time

you didn't want me to ever
come back over here.

That's not what Auntie Ella
said.

I got this, Jazmine.

I did not say that I did not
want you to come back over here.

I want to be clear.

I did say that I wanted you
to leave that day

because our emotions were
all flared up

and we needed to collect
ourselves and breathe.

Yes. Okay.

Well, some days have passed

and I just felt like
the mature thing to do

was to come over so
that we could talk.

I agree.
And I appreciate it.

I was actually on my way
to go and see you

because I haven't been able
to reach you on the phone.

Oh, yeah, about that.
I needed some time, too.

Like you said, right?

I told you you was blocked,
Auntie.

Jazmine.

You know, I think it is time
for me to go.

-Ahm...
-Thank you.

I'm going to go get Christian.

Ahm, thank you.

I think Laura and I need
some time just to talk,

just the two of us.
Uh-huh.

-You want me to go, too?
-Two of us, please.

All right.

-Mama Laura!
-Hi, baby.

How you doing, handsome?
Look at you.

You got some goodies in there?

Grandma Ella made cinnamon rolls
with the white icing on top.

Ooh, I know how much you
and your daddy love

those cinnamon rolls with
the white icing on top.

Okay, baby, it's time to go.
Come on.

Let's go. Let's go.

You sure?

I am positive I want you to go.

All right.

-Bye, Grandma.
-Bye, baby.

Bye, Christian.

-Bye, Auntie.
-Uh-uh.

Come on, turn around.
Bye, Laura.

Bye.

Okay, Laura, please, come on.
I want us to sit and talk.

-Okay.
-[Ella] Can I get you anything?

-I'm fine. Thank you.
-[Ella] Okay.

Well, Laura, I want you to know

that it really does mean
a lot to me

that you came over here
to talk to me.

Good.

Um, you know, this wasn't easy
for me, I have to admit.

-I'm sure.
-[Laura] Oh.

The way you guys treated me,
Miss Ella...

Well, let me start.

It is never my intent

for anyone to be treated
unfairly in my home.

I did ask you to leave,

and I did not think we treated
you unkindly, Laura.

I just think we needed
to take a moment and breathe.

Yes.
Um, I get it. It's just...

And please, Miss Ella,
I appreciate your apology. I do.

But do you really think
you guys

were not treating me unkindly
that day?

-I mean, seriously?
-Lord have mercy.

I... Uh... God, you're gonna
have to help me. Jesus.

[upbeat music]

[line trilling]

Oh, come on, Aunt Ella,
answer the phone.

-Hey, you okay, Mom?
-No.

What's wrong?
You need your gas pill?

Come on, Dad. Gas pill?
TMI. Come on.

Boy, you need to stop.

You know, gas is a natural
part of life.

I could take one look at you
and tell you get gas... often.

Uh, no.
No, I don't actually.

Can you stop?
I don't need a gas pill.

-Oh, you serious?
-[Janine] Yes.

-Okay. Is everything okay?
-I don't know. I...

Maybe I should be asking Malik.

-Me?
-Uh-huh. What do you know?

Uh, okay. Wait a minute.
I'm confused.

Know about what?

Deena called me and said that
she needed to come over here,

so she and I could talk.

-Deena who?
-Lisa's mom.

-Lisa's mother.
-She want to talk to you?

She's on her way here now, CJ.

-Wait. Did something happen?
-I don't know. I don't know.

That's what I'm trying
to figure out.

Oh. Move Malik.
Tell us everything.

You know I don't like that lady.

Why you looking at me?
How would I know anything?

Because you should be trying
to just find it

and tell me everything
you know.

I don't know anything about
that lady.

I tried to avoid her.

-Lisa didn't mention anything?
-No. Not to me.

Hey, family! Okay, sweater.
Look at you.

I like that retro tattered look.

Tattered?

[chuckles] Tattered.

Baby, I'm on my way to the gym
and you and your sweater.

Nice to see you, Deena.

I know it is.
Good seeing you too, daddy.

Oh, no.
See, we discussed this.

That's not daddy.
That is Mr. Payne.

Oh, I know. That's right.

You the only one
who can say that.

Well, I'm on my way to go pick
up Lisa and Malisa, my angels.

Oh, give me a hug, son.
Now you drive safe.

-Okay.
-All right.

-I will.
-All right. [exhales]

-Don't you leave me.
-Uh-uh. Good luck.

Do not go out that door.
Can I get you a beverage?

Yes, please.
I will take bourbon.

No water or juice.
Just bourbon.

-You got it.
-Thank you.

I believe CJ has his
stash upstairs, I think.

And what about some cake

or maybe some cookies
or something.

We have gluten-free scones.
This is going to bother me.

I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.

Help yourself to
a gluten-free scone.

-A what?
-Gluten-free scone?

Oh, no, no, no. Never mind.

Don't no Black people eat
no scones,

especially no gluten-free
scones.

Never mind.

I forgot y'all was on
that healthy goal.

To what do we owe the pleasure
of your visit?

Oh, yes.
I need to talk to you.

-Me?
-Mm-hmm.

About what?

I need to talk to you about
your son.

-Malik?
-Yes, that one.

[soft music]

Laura, you are so angry.

I am, Ms. Ella.

Okay, what have I done to you?

I was going to ask you,
what have I done to you?

No. Don't deflect this to me.

No, I'm not deflecting.

I seriously was going
to ask you that.

Okay, Laura...[laughs]

I asked you first,
so you answer first.

Okay, Ms. Ella, I just know
that you and your family

don't like me, you don't.

Laura, what have we done
to make you feel this way?

You just know when somebody
doesn't deal with you.

You just know when people
don't deal with you.

Please, please,
we have treated you nicely.

We've shown you nothing
but love.

Okay, baby, that's it.

I decided I'm going
over there with you.

I don't care what you say

because I ain't feeling
it anyway,

and I don't trust her.

I don't care if even if
she is Calvin's fiancée.

Well, you see there?
There you go, Ms. Ella.

There you have it.

So I don't know why we
all playing dumb around here.

[awkward laughter]

[soft music]

-Oh... Hey, Liz.
-Laura.

-That's what I meant.
-Yeah.

I did not see you sitting there.

Apparently.

-How are you?
-Not good.

You know, so what would you say,
Ms. Ella,

about all this love y'all
have for me?

Okay, Laura, yes.
We do have issues with you.

We do.

I know you do, and I'm glad
you're finally admitting

that you guys have issues
with me.

-Okay, so we have issues.
-Okay, good.

Finally some honesty here.
Thank you.

-Baby, want me to leave?
-No, Mr. Payne, please stay.

I would like to know why
you also have issues with me

and why you don't trust me.

Alright. I'll tell you.

Okay, well, and please keep
it a hundred, Mr. Payne.

I'm gonna keep it 150.

All right, well,
come on with it.

Okay, just don't interrupt
me again.

-Okay, that part.
-[Curtis] Okay.

-You good?
-I'm good.

Well, let me start by saying,
Laura, we're old school. Okay?

I mean, we're old enough
to be your parents. Okay?

And we deserve respect because
of the people we are.

We're people of character
and-and-and virtue.

And we're your elders.

And we are the parents of
the man you plan to marry.

And for any one of those reasons
or all of the above,

I believe we deserve
your utmost respect.

[deep breath]

[Curtis] And I gotta tell you,

I don't appreciate
the way you came up in here

in front of my entire family.

Just disrupted the peace
in my home.

I don't allow that. Ever.

And I tell you what's
not gonna happen.

Somebody, anybody come up
in here and disrespect,

or even upset that lady
right there, my wife,

because this is her house,

this is her safe place.

And this is her peace.

Am I clear?

Crystal.

[upbeat music]

Alright.
Deena, give it to me straight.

What is your issue with Malik?

-Issue?
-[Janine] Issue.

I don't have no issue
with your son.

-I love him!
-You do?

Oh, yes.

I always tell Lisa,
you found yourself a winner.

-Okay?
-Mm-hmm.

-[Deena] Yeah.
-Yeah.

Y'all raised yourself
a fine son.

Oh, thank you.

You know, CJ
and I did really try.

No, y'all have done
an amazing job.

Now, Lisa,
she took after her mama.

She had a terrible taste
in men.

[both laughs]

I was so nervous, you know,

when you said you wanted to
come over here and talk,

I was just like, ooh,
uh, you know.

Yeah, you know, did your hair.
It's like right here.

It's perfect.
Look at you. Gorgeous.

No, I wanted to come over here
and talk about me,

and what is everything
going on.

Now, first, I don't want
no issue with Malik,

and I don't want no issue
with Lisa,

-and definitely not with you.
-[Janine] Okay.

Now, second, I need some advice.

All right, I'm all ears.

Okay, now, you know his boss?

-The councilman.
-[Deena] Yes.

-Uh-huh.
-What about him?

He and I,
we just had some dates,

and baby! Uh!

-Oh, it's going well, eh?
-Yes, yes, yes.

Honey, I know they have
always said

Doc Chocolate is good
for you.

We still talking about
the councilman?

Yes, child. He does it for me.

-Yay! [laughs]
-Uh-huh.

Okay, what's the issue?

But I just don't want a problem
with Malik,

and I don't want him
to resent me

for thinking I'm dating
the councilman,

and you know I would never do

anything to jeopardize
that boy's job.

You touch a lot.

Listen, I appreciate
the concern. I really do.

But you and the councilman
are both mature.

You and...

You and the councilman are
both adults, right?

So I think as long as you
and he remember

to protect Malik,
everything will be just fine.

That is my number one concern.

And I'm sure Malik
appreciates that.

-You think so?
-I know my son.

I know my son, and it's just
about communication.

-See?
-Yeah.

I knew I came over to
the right place!

You know, I have always liked
you the very first time

I met you. [laughs]

-The feeling is there.
-I knew it was.

I said, she and I is getting
ready to become friends.

From the moment you saw me,

I knew you wanted to be
my friend too.

-Oh, did you?
-[laughs]

Okay, okay. Now, that leads me
to my second thing.

-[sighs] There's more.
-Yes, I need more advice.

Let's go.

All right, now,
you know how you nabbed

a really fine prize in
your husband CJ's.

-Yes.
-Okay.

I said, girlfriend got to put
me on game.

-I will try.
-All right?

Yeah.

How is it that I can nab
a man like that?

-You got to show me.
-That's what you want to know.

Yes, how do I nab a man
like the councilman.

-I got you.
-Okay. I'm all ears.

-Tell me.
-I'm explaining to you

-right here.
-Okay.

-Okay, go ahead. Do it.
-Okay.

So, I don't know where to start.

-Dates?
-[Janine] Dates.

-Sex? What?
-Whoa.

-Chocolate on me? All over me?
-Slow down.

Slow down, Fuchsia.

Listen, just give me a moment
to get my thoughts together.

I got a lot to, to contemplate.

Because I saw these underwear,
and I thought he could wear one.

-Bourbon, right?
-[Deena] Bourbon.

Let me try this scone.

Cookies, please!

[upbeat music]

Mr. and Mrs. Payne,

I have nothing but respect
for y'all. I really do.

And I am truly sorry
if I have ever showed you

any disrespect
at any point in time.

-[Ella] Okay.
-Truly, I'm sorry.

-Your apology is accepted.
-Thank you.

Thank you for accepting
my apology.

Of course.

Now, can we just please bring
the temperature

all the way down
and just talk?

-That's a good idea, baby.
-Okay.

-So, may I speak?
-Please, Laura.

Okay.
So, I know to respect my elders.

I have always known that.
My parents raised me that way.

And I felt like I was giving
you...

two nothing
but respect this whole time.

Okay.

But I was also taught
that I deserve respect.

-Right?
-You do.

Okay. Nobody is disputing that.
Absolutely.

Okay. Well, I did not feel
respected

when I was in
your house last time.

Hey, Laura.

Now, we all were
a little animated,

but ours was just in reaction
to you.

Okay, that's because
I was upset, Ms. Ella.

[scoffs] Okay.

Okay, everybody.

Let's just keep the temperature
down and talk.

[deep breath]

Okay. Now, well, tell us.

I don't think I can.

[scoffs] Why not?

I just... I don't think I can.
I'm still upset.

Okay. Well, let's just do
like Ella said

and keep the temperature down.

You know what?

I don't think this was
the best idea.

-I think it was a fine idea.
-No. No. I think I should go.

-Wait a minute, Laura.
-[Curtis] What?

No. I'm sorry.

You know, I appreciate
your time.

And thank you so very much,
but I think I should go.

Okay. So, you don't think
we should talk at all?

No. I don't think so.
I'm good. I'm good.

But thank you and I'm sorry.
I really am.

[Ella] You...

What just happened?

I don't know, baby,
but let her go.

Curtis, please.
This is just not good.

I don't like this.

Maybe she just needs time, baby.
So, just let her go.

[exhales] I don't like this.

[upbeat music]

Okay.
You gotta forgive me.

It's been a minute.

It's been a minute since I've
been in the dating pool.

Girlfriend, it's easy.
It's like riding a bike.

Why does everything you do
seem so nasty?

Because I'm nasty, girl.
Sheesh!

Okay. Can, you just try
to behave a little bit?

-Let me think.
-Okay.

So, so, so...
You want to know how to get him?

-Yes.
-It's a trick as old as time.

-Okay.
-Easy.

All right. Got my pad.
I'm ready. What is it?

No matter how much you like
that man,

no matter how chocolatey,

no matter how good he smells,
never act pressed.

-Don't act pressed?
-[Janine] Don't act pressed.

You mean, like,
don't act thirsty?

Thirsty? Yes.
You can no longer be thirsty.

Thirsty is the only way I know.

Oh, well, you know,
that water...

Here.
Matter of fact, boom!

[laughs] All right.
You ain't want to drink earlier?

Drink that. Wrong one.

-Okay. All right.
-Yes.

All right, girl.
I need me...

-Turning over a new leaf.
-I need me a prize man.

[Janine] Yeah.
Uh-huh.

No, drink it like you drink
the bourbon.

[exhaling and burping]
That's good.

-Glad I could help.
-Oh, no. You help him.

I'll have another bourbon, too.
I'm almost done with this one.

Mm. Mm-mm-mm.

Okay. So, that's lesson one.
What else?

Panties?

[music]

[music]