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1
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:10,078
Okay, what's the temperature
in... Acapulco?
2
00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:13,281
I don't want to play
"guess the temperature."
3
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:16,217
Come on, it's
a good game. Acapulco.
4
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:19,553
Seventy-two.
5
00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,189
No. Think.
6
00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:23,324
Three hundred.
7
00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:26,094
Wrong. You now
owe me $10 million.
8
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,928
( doorbell ringing )
9
00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:29,497
Okay, new game.
10
00:00:29,563 --> 00:00:31,132
I give you the name
of the deceased.
11
00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:34,102
You tell me what they
want in lieu of flowers.
12
00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,936
Edna Rosenblatt.
13
00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:38,706
Tree in Israel.
14
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,608
Okay, we're tied.
15
00:00:41,842 --> 00:00:45,779
No... It's New Christine.
16
00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:47,248
I don't want to talk to her.
17
00:00:47,315 --> 00:00:48,949
Well, you can't just
leave her out there.
18
00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:51,085
Well, what could she
possibly want?
19
00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:53,887
She already got
my ex-husband.
20
00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:56,490
Maybe she wants
to give him back.
21
00:00:56,557 --> 00:01:00,027
Uh-uh. I've got a strict
no-return policy.
22
00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:01,329
All right, you know what?
23
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:02,830
Tell her I'm not here.
24
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:06,634
I think she can see you.
25
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:07,701
And hear you.
26
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,639
Oh, crap.
27
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:12,873
Matthew...
28
00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:14,675
Do something.
29
00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:26,687
Oh, hey, it's you.
30
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:29,390
Oh, yeah, I thought you
were someone else.
31
00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:31,692
Who?
32
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:34,862
Uh... Edna Rosenblatt.
33
00:01:36,264 --> 00:01:38,532
From Acapulco.
34
00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:41,569
And I did not want
to see her.
35
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:42,870
I owe her a tree.
36
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,577
So, uh, what's up?
37
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,312
Oh, I wanted to run
something by you.
38
00:01:51,379 --> 00:01:52,646
Oh.
The Rolling Stones
39
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:54,482
are playing tomorrow
at the L.A. Auditorium,
40
00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:56,550
and Richard and I thought
it would be really fun
41
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:57,985
to take Ritchie to
his first concert.
42
00:01:58,051 --> 00:01:59,387
We listen to
music in the car
43
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,954
all the time and
Ritchie's really into it.
44
00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:03,691
But I wanted to check and
see how you felt about it.
45
00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:04,725
The Rolling Stones?
46
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:07,861
Yeah. Most of them
are still alive.
47
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:09,463
So is that okay?
48
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:10,598
No.
49
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:11,532
No?
50
00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:12,633
No.
51
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:14,868
Oh. May I ask why?
52
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:15,869
Yeah.
Yeah?
53
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:17,738
Yeah. I, um...
54
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:18,772
I just don't think
55
00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:20,674
that's a great place
for kids, you know.
56
00:02:20,741 --> 00:02:24,212
It's crowded and there's
pot smoke and drunk people.
57
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:25,879
You know, if I wanted
Ritchie exposed to that
58
00:02:25,946 --> 00:02:29,783
I'd send him to his
grandparents' for the summer.
59
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:31,252
Are you sure you
won't change your mind?
60
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:32,386
I think so.
61
00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:34,788
You think you're
sure you won't?
62
00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:39,227
You know, I don't know
what you're asking,
63
00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:43,464
but whatever you're asking,
the answer is no.
64
00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:44,898
Oh.
65
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:46,934
Yeah. Bye-bye.
66
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,836
Bye-bye.
67
00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:53,006
What did she want?
68
00:02:53,073 --> 00:02:56,244
Oh, she wanted to take Ritchie
to a Rolling Stones concert.
69
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:57,911
I said no.
70
00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:59,347
What do you mean, "no"?
71
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,353
Richard,
what are you doing here?
72
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:06,887
I was out in the car.
73
00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:10,291
Oh, so you sent New Christine
in here to do your dirty work?
74
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:12,760
No, Christine
wanted to be nice.
75
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,828
She didn't feel comfortable
going to the concert
76
00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:16,163
without running it
by you first.
77
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,798
It wasn't an
actual question.
78
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:18,732
It was a courtesy.
79
00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:20,100
We don't need
your permission.
80
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:22,002
Um, I think you do.
81
00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:23,971
Um... No, I don't.
82
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,773
Um... I'm his mother.
83
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,140
Um... I'm his father.
84
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:30,644
Um... no, you're not.
85
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:31,612
What?
86
00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:32,413
Ah, sorry.
87
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:33,547
Richard, come on.
88
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,749
A concert is not
an appropriate place
89
00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:37,618
for a little nine-
year-old boy.
90
00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:39,320
We have third-row
orchestra seats.
91
00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:40,588
It might be
his only chance to see
92
00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:42,256
the greatest band
in rock and roll.
93
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:46,260
I saw them when I was his age,
as my father did before me.
94
00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:51,332
Your father also goes to the
supermarket without a shirt on.
95
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:53,667
Christine,
96
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,135
in the two years
we've been divorced,
97
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:57,338
I've never gone
against your wishes
98
00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:59,072
but this is really
important to me
99
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:00,774
and I'm doing it.
100
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:03,811
Oh, well, I'm sorry
to have to say this, but...
101
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:05,979
I forbid it.
102
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:08,115
Excuse me?
103
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:09,917
Yeah, you heard me.
I forbid it.
104
00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:12,686
I forbid you
from taking him to the concert.
105
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,555
Oh, I didn't realize
you forbid it.
106
00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:17,024
I guess, in that case, I'll
take Ritchie to the concert.
107
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,058
What?
108
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:20,060
No, no, no. I just forbid it.
109
00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:21,161
We're not married.
110
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:23,364
You've lost your
power to forbid.
111
00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:27,968
That was my greatest power.
112
00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:29,370
We're not gonna talk
about this anymore.
113
00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:30,170
Yes, we are.
114
00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:31,171
No, we're not.
115
00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:32,306
Yeah. Richard,
116
00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:33,807
I... I forbid you
117
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,309
from leaving.
118
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:39,012
Richard, I forbid you
from getting in the car.
119
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:42,049
I forbid you
from making that gesture.
120
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,217
( car starting )
121
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:46,954
I'm powerless.
122
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:54,362
Yeah, I mean, right.
So that's it?
123
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,697
There's nothing
I can do?
124
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:59,099
All right, well,
thanks for your help.
125
00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:01,034
Any luck?
No.
126
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:03,371
Our divorce mediator says
there's nothing I can do.
127
00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:04,905
It's Richard's night.
128
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:07,007
I told him what I was worried
about, but apparently
129
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:11,244
a mother's intuition
is not legally binding.
130
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,414
It's sexist.
131
00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:14,882
How is that sexist?
132
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:18,752
'Cause we're both white,
so it can't be racist.
133
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:22,590
God, this is so unfair.
134
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,392
When we were married,
I had power.
135
00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:25,393
I could forbid.
136
00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:27,260
I could withhold sex.
137
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:30,931
I ruled with an iron fist.
138
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:35,268
Now that we're divorced,
I'm not the boss of him anymore.
139
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,637
Why did I get divorced?
140
00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:40,007
Yeah, and why
would he divorce you?
141
00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:42,743
So, what are
you gonna do?
142
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,812
Nothing. There's
nothing I can do.
143
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:47,280
Against my better judgment,
I have to hand him over
144
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:50,784
into what I believe
is an unsuitable environment.
145
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:56,189
Yeah. How could my divorce
suck more than my marriage?
146
00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:57,491
Are you sure
you're okay, sweetie?
147
00:05:57,558 --> 00:05:58,726
Because if you don't
want to go...
148
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:00,794
I really want to go.
I know, but if you
149
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:02,463
don't want to go...
I want to go.
150
00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:05,499
Listen, darling, it's okay
with me if you don't want...
151
00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:07,000
You're not listening to me.
152
00:06:08,436 --> 00:06:09,503
Sorry.
153
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:11,138
It's just that I'm
so excited for you
154
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,006
'cause it's your
first concert.
155
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:15,308
Yippee.
156
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,577
But listen, honey,
157
00:06:16,644 --> 00:06:18,479
I want you
to remember something.
158
00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:22,049
If you get lost, you look
for anybody in a uniform.
159
00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:22,850
Anybody?
160
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,385
Oh, no. Not anybody.
161
00:06:25,453 --> 00:06:28,622
Not somebody in a Nazi uniform.
162
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:31,058
Or that uniform Michael
Jackson wore for a while.
163
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:32,726
Oh, yeah. Right.
164
00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:36,329
But anybody else in a uniform.
165
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,330
Okay.
166
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,732
( clears throat )
167
00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:42,335
Oh, they're not here,
so we better just...
168
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,704
Hey, there he is.
169
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,238
Ready for the concert, Ritchie?
170
00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:46,306
Yay!
171
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:48,041
Don't worry,
he's gonna be fine.
172
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:48,976
Yup. See you.
173
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,343
We'll have him
home tomorrow.
174
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,812
Oh, wait, wait,
wait. Um...
175
00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:54,482
I don't want him to sit
too close to the speakers.
176
00:06:54,548 --> 00:06:55,649
We've got earplugs.
177
00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:57,350
And don't let him
get dehydrated.
178
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,886
We're bringing water.
179
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:01,789
And please don't sit next
to anybody who's smoking.
180
00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,657
Christine,
half the band's on oxygen.
181
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:05,726
No one's gonna be smoking. Bye.
182
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:07,427
But, wait, wait, uh...
183
00:07:07,495 --> 00:07:08,596
What?
184
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,998
Uh...
( stammers )
185
00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:12,432
Uh, Matthew?
186
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,001
Rock 'n' roll.
187
00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:17,905
( whispers ):
Bye.
188
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:20,874
Thanks a lot.
189
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,010
It's okay. We're
gonna have fun, too.
190
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,144
Okay, new game.
191
00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:26,547
I name the relative,
you name their problem.
192
00:07:26,614 --> 00:07:28,081
Uncle Jack.
193
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,182
Liver.
194
00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:30,383
Cousin Laurie.
Liver.
195
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,719
Great-grandpa Lloyd.
196
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:32,520
Liver.
197
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,788
Okay, bonus round...
198
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,393
Second cousin Allan.
199
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:44,532
Liver. They're all liver.
200
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:46,366
Okay, Mom's side of the family.
201
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:47,735
Lung.
202
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,703
Damn it.
203
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:53,073
Matthew, the idea of Ritchie
204
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:58,445
all alone with those freaks
and druggies and Hell's Angels.
205
00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:02,683
He's going downtown,
not to Vietnam.
206
00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:04,585
He's not gonna be alone.
He's with Richard.
207
00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:06,687
Yeah, that's my point.
208
00:08:06,754 --> 00:08:08,088
Look, Richard's a good guy.
209
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:10,558
I mean, he can be
a goofball sometimes
210
00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:13,961
and he does laugh a little too
hard at The Wizard of Id, but,
211
00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:16,296
I mean, he loves that kid
as much as you do.
212
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:18,532
He's not going to let
anything bad happen to him.
213
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:19,733
Yeah, I guess
you're right.
214
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:21,635
I mean, what
really could happen?
215
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:23,771
Exactly. It's not like
he's going with our dad.
216
00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,773
Then there'd be
something to worry about.
217
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:28,742
Why, what do you mean?
218
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,678
Well, you remember
Dad took me to the Dodger game.
219
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:33,180
He let me go to the bathroom
alone, and I got lost.
220
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:35,348
Yeah, I was crying,
I couldn't find my seat.
221
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:39,019
No one would help me
because it was a close game.
222
00:08:39,086 --> 00:08:40,187
I ended up
223
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:42,022
wandering into the locker room.
224
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:44,391
Didn't you ever wonder
why I have that picture of me
225
00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,794
next to Fernando Valenzuela
in his underwear?
226
00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:53,466
Dad let you go to the bathroom
all by yourself?
227
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,268
Oh, my God.
228
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:59,006
That's exactly the kind of thing
Richard would do.
229
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,307
Oh, my God.
230
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:03,110
I married my father.
231
00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:07,380
That's big, but I'll
deal with that later.
232
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:08,682
Richard's not like that.
233
00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:10,050
Yes, he is!
234
00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:13,721
One day he left Ritchie
in the ball pit at Ikea.
235
00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:15,756
He came all the way home
and assembled a bookshelf
236
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:19,292
before he realized
that he was gone.
237
00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:21,629
To this day,
Ritchie cannot eat a meatball
238
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:24,632
without bursting into tears.
239
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:26,667
Oh, my God.
240
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:29,569
Oh... Ritchie!
241
00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:33,841
( sighs )
242
00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:40,147
I'm, I'm sorry.
You want tickets for what?
243
00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:42,282
The Rolling Stones.
Two tickets.
244
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,952
They're seated
in the third-row orchestra,
245
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,519
so something close to that.
246
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,321
All right. Well, let's see
what we've got.
247
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:50,390
Is the, uh, front row okay?
248
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:51,725
Yeah, that'd be perfect.
249
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:54,461
Wait. I might have something
a little bit closer.
250
00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:56,229
Yeah, two tickets
right on stage.
251
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:57,197
Now it's a little louder,
252
00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,599
but you might get
to dance with Mick.
253
00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:02,736
Oh, yeah, we'll take those.
254
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:05,172
How high are you, huh?
255
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:06,339
We're completely sold out.
256
00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:09,777
It's the Rolling Stones.
257
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:14,715
If you don't have tickets,
then why are you even open?
258
00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:16,650
Because I'm selling tickets
to Kristi Yamaguchi,
259
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:19,186
the Wiggles On Ice,
and the Gay Rodeo.
260
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,289
Whoa. Is that
all one show?
261
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:24,291
'Cause I'd see that.
262
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:26,193
Matthew.
263
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,895
Sir, I'm sorry, let me
just explain to you
264
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,362
my situation, okay?
265
00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:31,732
My nine-year-old son
is in there with his father
266
00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:33,033
and his new girlfriend,
267
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:35,235
and there's a very strong
possibility
268
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:39,572
that he's going to let him go
to the bathroom on his own.
269
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,342
I'm so sorry.
I didn't... I didn't know.
Oh, that's all right.
270
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:45,746
We keep two emergency
tickets available for
situations like this.
271
00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:48,481
Is the fourth row okay?
272
00:10:48,548 --> 00:10:49,750
That would be great.
273
00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:51,484
Okay. Oh, let me
just get those for you.
274
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:52,485
Where do we keep them?
275
00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:53,921
Ah, they're right here.
276
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:10,738
He's not getting
the tickets, is he?
277
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:13,373
Oh, no, sweetie,
he's not.
278
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,178
Let's get out of here.
We'll go get you some chaps
279
00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:20,480
for the Gay Rodeo.
280
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:21,749
No, I have to get in there
281
00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:22,950
to see what's happening
with Ritchie.
282
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,184
Why don't you
just call Richard
283
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:25,652
on his cell phone
and check up on him?
284
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:28,021
Because then he'll dig
his heels in deeper.
285
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,123
He's stubborn, like Daddy.
286
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,024
Oh!
287
00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:34,127
Maybe you're overreacting.
288
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,628
Richard's a pretty
good dad.
289
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:37,064
I know, I know,
290
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,899
but I just got
to get in close enough
291
00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:42,002
so I can keep an eye on Ritchie
without Richard knowing.
292
00:11:42,069 --> 00:11:44,838
All right, you know,
I hate to have to do this,
293
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:49,409
but I may have
to pull out my secret weapons.
294
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:50,710
Oh, God, you're not
295
00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:53,146
dragging those things
out again, are you?
296
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:58,185
Hey, these babies got me into
Live Aid on two continents
297
00:11:58,251 --> 00:12:01,822
and the L.A. County Fair
when I left my purse in the car.
298
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:04,391
It's kind of hard to
believe you're the more
responsible parent.
299
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:06,927
I know, right?
300
00:12:06,994 --> 00:12:08,962
Oh, my God, I won't have to.
301
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,864
There he is, all alone.
302
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:12,732
I knew it!
Ritchie!
303
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,268
Ritchie, it's okay, sweetie.
Mommy is here.
304
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:16,069
Oh!
305
00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:17,805
What the hell are you doing?
306
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:19,873
Oh, sorry,
I thought that was my son.
307
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:21,909
Well, it's not.
308
00:12:23,610 --> 00:12:24,878
You know what?
309
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:27,347
You should keep a closer eye
on your kid.
310
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,949
This is a rock concert.
311
00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:31,952
What kind of mother
are you?
312
00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:35,255
All right, that's it.
We're going in.
313
00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:40,760
This can't be good for me.
314
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:47,901
Now, where are you going?
315
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:50,403
Uh, I'm with them.
316
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:53,206
No, you're not.
317
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:58,979
Am I with them... now?
318
00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:01,982
No, you're getting further away.
319
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,053
Look, this is really important.
320
00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:09,056
It's always really important,
but there's nothing I can do.
321
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,958
If I let every middle-aged,
oversexed fan in...
322
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:12,960
Middle-aged?
323
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:15,863
I'm not middle-aged. I'm young!
324
00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:18,631
I'm spry.
325
00:13:18,698 --> 00:13:22,135
For your information,
I can still do a back bend.
326
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:24,004
I mean, from a lying-down
position
327
00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:25,873
and I'll need you to spot me.
328
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:27,407
Okay, I don't do that.
329
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:29,142
Now get out of here.
330
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:31,879
Oh, come on.
I really need
to get in there.
331
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:34,114
Nothing I can do.
332
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:38,318
Well, that's what they said
at the L.A. County Fair.
333
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,173
You looking?
334
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:03,843
Thank you.
335
00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:05,545
What?
336
00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:08,381
You said "good-looking."
337
00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:09,382
No, I didn't.
338
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:11,718
No, I didn't.
I said, "You looking?"
339
00:14:11,784 --> 00:14:13,053
Why would I say
"good-looking"?
340
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:17,090
Because I'm
good-looking.
341
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:19,893
Well, I guess
you're pretty good-looking.
342
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,594
Thank you.
343
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:23,330
Um...
344
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:25,899
( whispers ):
Do you know anyone
selling tickets?
345
00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,767
Yeah, I'm selling.
346
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:29,802
Ah, yes, looking.
347
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:30,938
I'm definitely looking.
348
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,172
What do you need?
349
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:36,509
Uh, two tickets
on the floor.
350
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:40,380
Uh, no problem.
351
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:41,915
$500 a pop.
352
00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:44,217
Whoa, that's a little
out of my range.
353
00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:46,686
What do you have for $50?
354
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:48,288
I can get you a T-shirt
355
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:51,024
with "The Rolling Stones"
spelled wrong.
356
00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:53,893
Really? That's
the best you can do?
357
00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:54,995
Yeah.
358
00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:58,031
For a good-looking
guy like me?
359
00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:10,343
Excuse me.
Do you work here?
360
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,278
Yeah.
361
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:13,813
Okay, I have got
to get inside
362
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,348
and I don't have time
to play games,
363
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:18,385
so let's quit cuttin' bait
and start fishing.
364
00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:20,954
Cool.
365
00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:23,056
Okay, can I get in?
366
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,424
I just work concessions.
367
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:29,963
Oh, my God,
I just flashed
you for nothing?
368
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:31,398
I can get you
a small soda.
369
00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:35,002
Small soda?
370
00:15:35,902 --> 00:15:39,072
Okay, a diet, please.
371
00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:47,680
Hey.
372
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:49,249
Where'd you get the soda?
373
00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:53,920
I don't want to talk about it.
374
00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:56,223
Well, I have good news.
375
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,991
Two tickets,
tenth-row orchestra.
376
00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:00,093
Matthew, that's great!
377
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,661
Only 300 bucks.
378
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:03,163
300 bucks?
379
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,265
I talked him down
from $500,
380
00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:07,200
plus I got him
to throw in
381
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:09,969
this Rolling Scones T-shirt.
382
00:16:10,037 --> 00:16:12,305
Hey, at least we're getting in.
383
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:14,007
I'll be able
to see Ritchie,
384
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:15,142
and hey, it might be
the last time
385
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:18,111
we're able to see the Stones.
386
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:19,712
( audience cheering )
387
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:29,089
We're not going
to be able to see
the Stones, are we?
388
00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:32,125
No, sweetie,
we're not.
389
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:36,529
Oh, damn it!
390
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,198
It went right
to voicemail again.
391
00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:39,266
Where are they?
392
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,567
I'm sure they're on their way.
393
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,335
( whiny ):
Let's just go home.
394
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:46,673
No. I want to be here
when they get back.
395
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:49,242
God, the concert ended
two hours ago.
396
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:52,445
This is exactly
what I was afraid
of, you know?
397
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:55,382
Oh! I'm so used
to being there for him.
398
00:16:55,448 --> 00:16:57,217
I mean, and now
one day a week
399
00:16:57,284 --> 00:16:59,519
and every other weekend,
I have no say
400
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:02,289
in what he does
or where he goes.
401
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,824
There's nothing
I can do about it.
402
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:05,892
That sucks.
403
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:07,394
I know.
404
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:08,828
Oh, God.
405
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,363
All right,
give me my bra back.
406
00:17:10,430 --> 00:17:12,665
These things are sticking
to my stomach.
407
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:18,138
This definitely
is not good for me.
408
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,613
( both scream )
409
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:36,089
I haven't woken up
to that view in a long time.
410
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:38,458
At least now I know
why you married him.
411
00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:43,430
What the hell
are you two doing here?
412
00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:47,867
Richard, the better question
is where were you all night?
413
00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:49,702
What? I was here.
414
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,138
No, you weren't,
415
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:53,673
'cause we went to the concert
and we came right back here
416
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,275
and you never showed up.
417
00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:56,543
Because we never left.
418
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,044
We decided not to go
419
00:17:58,111 --> 00:17:59,279
to the concert,
so we rented movies.
420
00:17:59,346 --> 00:18:00,447
We were in bed by 9:00.
421
00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:03,283
Didn't go to the concert?
422
00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:04,984
New Christine talked
me out of it.
423
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:06,453
She did?
424
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:07,820
Yeah. She saw how upset
you were
425
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:08,988
when you dropped
Ritchie off
426
00:18:09,055 --> 00:18:10,190
so she couldn't
go through with it.
427
00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:13,693
She did that for me? Why?
428
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,662
She's nice.
429
00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:18,465
Oh.
430
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,066
Well, tell her I said thanks.
431
00:18:20,133 --> 00:18:22,935
Maybe you should
tell her yourself.
432
00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:26,806
Yeah. This is a great way
to start the day.
433
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,881
So, you saw the Stones?
434
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,883
I'm afraid so.
435
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:40,153
You should really wear
underwear under that robe.
436
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:42,722
Hello?
437
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:46,159
Hello?
438
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,360
Hi, Christine.
439
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:49,061
Oh, hi.
You here
to pick up Ritchie?
440
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:50,363
He's still asleep.
441
00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:52,999
Oh, no, actually,
I wanted to talk to you.
442
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:54,100
Um,
443
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:57,470
look, I know
I'm not always
444
00:18:57,537 --> 00:18:59,206
the nicest person
to you,
445
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:01,408
and sometimes
I make fun of you.
446
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:04,444
I, uh, I do this bit
where you... where you can't
447
00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:06,579
figure out
how to open up a window.
448
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:11,651
People seem to really like it,
449
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:14,221
but it's probably not fair
to you.
450
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:16,556
Yeah, I heard about that bit.
451
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,791
I also heard about the one
452
00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:21,661
where I try to drink a soda
with my ear.
453
00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:26,499
And that one--
while... while very funny--
454
00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:29,502
is, um, is also rather unfair
to you.
455
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:32,071
You know, Richard told me
that you talked him out
456
00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:35,475
of going to the concert,
and I just wanted to thank you.
457
00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:37,076
I could see you were upset.
458
00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:38,745
I'm not a mother,
but I have one.
459
00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:43,383
After my folks got divorced,
460
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:46,386
my dad used to do things
just to make my mother mad.
461
00:19:46,453 --> 00:19:49,389
That's how I got my ears
pierced... and my tattoo...
462
00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:51,724
and my half brother.
463
00:19:53,025 --> 00:19:54,093
I always felt bad for my mom.
464
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,562
Oh, well, you know,
465
00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:57,964
I don't think Richard was doing
this just to get to me.
466
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,800
Oh, no, of course not.
Richard's a great dad.
467
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:03,303
But I want you to know,
as long as I'm around,
468
00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:05,638
I'm going to look out
for Ritchie and for you.
469
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:08,641
Oh, wow, thanks.
470
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,411
You're a really decent
person, aren't you?
471
00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:13,746
It's not that hard.
472
00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:19,586
Well, anyway, I won't
do those bits anymore...
473
00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:21,454
probably.
474
00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:24,657
Harder for some people
than others.
475
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:25,892
You know what?
476
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:28,261
That is a really great bra.
477
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:29,862
It really holds
everything up there.
478
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:30,797
What, what kind is that?
479
00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:31,998
I'm not wearing a bra.
480
00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:39,005
You know, you make it
really hard to be nice to you.
33201
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