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1
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:10,078
What? What is all that?
2
00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:12,180
I was just going through
some family photos.
3
00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:13,647
Ten albums.
4
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:15,883
You know how many pictures
there are of me?
5
00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:18,386
Two.
6
00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:21,789
That's not you.
7
00:00:24,092 --> 00:00:26,560
One.
8
00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:29,930
I'm sure
you're in here somewhere.
9
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:32,600
( gasps ):
Oh, my God.
10
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,668
My wedding video.
11
00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:37,205
Yeah, that's probably
all you, too.
12
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:39,640
You were there.
13
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:41,742
With your braces
14
00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:44,145
and your thin little mustache.
15
00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:46,580
And your cape.
16
00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:50,151
God, yeah, the cape.
17
00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:51,985
That was a rough phase.
18
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:55,123
No wonder I had to go
to the prom with my math tutor.
19
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,827
Yeah, and that would never have
happened if Mom hadn't paid her.
20
00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:03,931
She paid her?
21
00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:07,034
No, I'm kidding.
22
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:09,337
Oh, God, I hate myself.
23
00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:11,772
We're back.
24
00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:13,006
Hi, Mom.
25
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,208
Hey. Oh, hi, sweetie.
How was karate?
26
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:15,443
It was great.
27
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:18,112
I kicked my teacher
right in the wiener.
28
00:01:20,448 --> 00:01:23,917
Huh. Same thing happened
in his piano lesson.
29
00:01:23,984 --> 00:01:25,819
Okay, go change
for dinner, buddy.
30
00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:27,588
Okay, Mom.
Okay.
31
00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:28,656
( laughs )
32
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:31,359
Kee-ya!
33
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,026
Ritchie was
really good.
34
00:01:33,093 --> 00:01:34,762
Mr. Kim went down hard.
35
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,096
Yeah.
36
00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:38,065
You should have seen
Mrs. Keating
37
00:01:38,132 --> 00:01:39,167
fall off that
piano bench.
38
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:40,401
Okay, I'm going to take off.
39
00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:41,402
Okay.
40
00:01:41,469 --> 00:01:43,070
Oh, and it's our turn
to bring snacks
41
00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:44,538
to his next class,
so I'll pick something up.
42
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,674
Oh, that's okay.
You know what? I can get it.
43
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:48,209
Christine,
44
00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:49,543
I said I'd do it.
45
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:50,944
I think I'm capable
of picking up snacks
46
00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:52,213
for a group of nine-year-olds.
47
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:53,447
Of course you are.
48
00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:55,283
What are you
going to get?
49
00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:57,251
Well, let's see,
nine-year-olds, so,
50
00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:59,987
cigarettes and hookers?
51
00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:01,789
I'll bring donuts and some soda.
52
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,724
Oh, no, no.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
53
00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:05,793
You're going to
feed two sugars
54
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:08,462
to a group of
nine-year-olds
in a karate class?
55
00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:10,498
Why don't you just lop off
Mr. Kim's wiener now
56
00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:12,666
and save yourself the trouble?
57
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:15,269
Okay, Christine, why don't you
just tell me what you want,
58
00:02:15,336 --> 00:02:16,404
and I'll get it?
59
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,038
No, I'm not going
to tell you.
60
00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:19,139
You know what to bring.
61
00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:21,475
I'm not your mother.
62
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:23,911
What are you going to bring?
63
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:25,679
You're so amazingly controlling.
64
00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:26,814
I have to be.
65
00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,049
Otherwise, you'd wander around
aimlessly
66
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:31,519
until I told you what to do.
67
00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:34,888
Wow. Now I know what
Mr. Kim's wiener feels like.
68
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:45,032
So, I guess Richard's
all mad at me now.
69
00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:46,334
Yeah, well, tough.
70
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,302
If the man doesn't know
how to get snacks,
71
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:51,439
I'm mean, you've got
to direct him a little.
72
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,341
You know, it doesn't
make me controlling
73
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:54,575
just because he's helpless.
74
00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:56,677
You know, I want
things done right.
75
00:02:56,744 --> 00:02:57,978
Exactly.
76
00:02:58,045 --> 00:03:00,080
Men get all mad when
you tell them how to do things.
77
00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:02,616
You know, but if I didn't show
Pete the way every now and then,
78
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,685
he'd still be handling these
79
00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:08,489
like he was working
on a pottery wheel.
80
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:12,092
You know what?
81
00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:14,762
That doesn't sound
that bad to me.
82
00:03:17,231 --> 00:03:18,866
CHRISTINE:
Oh, my God.
83
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:20,368
Barb, look at.
84
00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:21,802
That's our old
marriage counselor.
85
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,337
That's Hilary.
86
00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:26,874
Wow. I haven't seen
her since Richard
and I split up.
87
00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:29,710
God. Mm. She was such a
good marriage counselor.
88
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:35,383
Yeah, I mean, up
until Richard and I
got divorced, yeah.
89
00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:37,951
I mean, she had this way
of drawing me out, you know?
90
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:41,355
She'd just look at me and I'd
blurt out all these dark,
91
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:44,157
intimate things that I
didn't even know I felt.
92
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:47,661
Alka Seltzer cold medicine
does that for me.
93
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,498
Hi.
94
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,366
Um, I wanted to join,
and I was wondering
95
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:54,335
if you do a month-to-month plan?
96
00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:57,104
Hello, Hilary.
97
00:03:57,170 --> 00:03:59,106
Yeah, it's me.
98
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:01,342
Hello.
99
00:04:01,409 --> 00:04:04,177
Christine Campbell.
100
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,046
Of Richard
and Christine.
101
00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:07,348
You were our therapist.
102
00:04:07,415 --> 00:04:09,182
Oh, oh, oh.
103
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:10,918
Christine Campbell.
104
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:11,752
Yeah, yeah.
105
00:04:11,819 --> 00:04:12,953
Yes. How are you?
106
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:14,355
I'm good, I'm good.
107
00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:16,357
I mean, Richard
and I are divorced now,
108
00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:18,025
and I'm not dating anyone.
109
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,794
I mean, I've had a few nibbles,
but nothing too serious.
110
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:23,597
Sometimes I'm lonely.
You know...
111
00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:28,369
Mornings are hard, but...
112
00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:31,372
but mostly I'm okay,
you know?
113
00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:33,574
Oh, this is my
black friend Barb.
114
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:36,844
Oh, my God, Barb,
115
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:38,245
I am so sorry.
116
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:40,247
I don't... I don't...
I don't know why I said that.
117
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,983
You know, it's her, and she
makes me say things that just...
118
00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:44,385
It's-It's okay.
119
00:04:44,452 --> 00:04:45,919
It's-It's been
the unspoken thing
120
00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:47,388
between us for years.
121
00:04:48,322 --> 00:04:50,691
Good luck.
122
00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:53,461
Actually, you know,
she's great, really.
123
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:55,696
We've been black friends
for years.
124
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:57,498
I don't...
125
00:04:57,565 --> 00:04:59,266
What-what...
What am I doing? I...
126
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:00,934
So-so, how is Richard?
127
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,370
Do you still see each other?
128
00:05:02,436 --> 00:05:03,971
Oh, yeah, all the time.
129
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,473
And he's able to do that?
130
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:09,377
Uh, why-why wouldn't he
be able to do that?
131
00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:10,911
Oh, no reason.
132
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:13,547
I just thought that once
he finally got away from your...
133
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:15,616
( guttural groan )
134
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:22,122
You know what? Doesn't matter.
135
00:05:22,189 --> 00:05:23,424
Water under the bridge, right?
136
00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:24,992
Locker room's this way or...?
137
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,027
Um, wait a
minute. Hilary?
Hmm?
138
00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:28,929
Uh,, when you just went...
139
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,398
( choking sounds )
140
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:32,466
like, were you implying
141
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:35,803
that I was the problem
in our marriage?
142
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:37,438
No. No, no, no.
143
00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:38,939
Oh. Good.
144
00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,141
Good, 'cause, I mean,
we both had our issues.
145
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:42,776
Sure.
146
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:43,877
Yeah.
147
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,346
The divorce was
no one's fault.
148
00:05:46,414 --> 00:05:48,148
Okay.
149
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:51,351
You know, you're not
my therapist anymore,
150
00:05:51,419 --> 00:05:52,786
so if you, like,
have an opinion,
151
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,788
why don't you just
spit it out?
152
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,424
Um, I can't.
153
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:58,158
It's unethical.
154
00:05:58,225 --> 00:06:00,227
Well, just tell me.
Was the divorce my fault?
155
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:01,361
I'm not going to answer that.
156
00:06:01,429 --> 00:06:03,163
Was it someone's fault?
Yes.
157
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:05,098
Was it his fault?
No.
158
00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:12,506
Matthew, do I drive men away?
159
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,107
I'll get out of here.
160
00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:16,009
No, no, no.
161
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:17,478
Listen to me.
162
00:06:17,545 --> 00:06:19,480
This morning, Richard was here,
and he accused me
163
00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:21,114
of being too controlling,
164
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:23,083
and we got into this whole
argument about it.
165
00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:25,285
And then our old
marriage counselor shows up
166
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:26,920
at the gym,
and she basically says
167
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:29,490
that it was my fault
that our marriage broke up.
168
00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:30,524
Was it?
169
00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:31,892
Did I drive Richard away?
170
00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:33,193
Was I that bad?
171
00:06:33,260 --> 00:06:34,695
No! You?
172
00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:37,230
No!
173
00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:38,832
Shut up.
174
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:39,733
I'm not.
175
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,735
I mean, yes,
I have my stuff.
176
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:43,370
But Richard had his stuff, too.
177
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:46,006
Definitely. Every relationship
has two people with stuff.
178
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:47,207
Yeah.
179
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:49,543
So, I mean, why didn't
she remember his stuff,
180
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,311
you know?
181
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:53,080
'Cause he's got
a boat load of it.
182
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:57,451
You know, weird weight issues,
weird manhood issues.
183
00:06:57,518 --> 00:07:01,054
Still kisses his mother
on the lips.
184
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:05,759
Oh, is that bad?
185
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:11,298
Well, maybe she has you confused
186
00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:13,467
with another couple.
187
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:15,869
Yes. Yes.
188
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,739
I bet that is exactly
what it is,
189
00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:21,775
because if she knew who we were,
then she would remember
190
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:23,911
that we both had our issues.
191
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:26,113
I mean, Richard
was passive-aggressive.
192
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:28,616
He didn't try
to get along with
our family at all.
193
00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:31,284
And he always left me with
an empty tank of gas.
194
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:32,686
And what were your issues?
195
00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:34,755
I had to put up
with his crap.
196
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:39,259
What are you
watching here?
197
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:41,461
Oh. Is this my
wedding video?
198
00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:43,030
Yeah, and I'm nowhere.
199
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,700
Well, you were there.
200
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:48,569
Unless there was
another guest
201
00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:51,238
in a tuxedo
T-shirt and a cape.
202
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:55,108
How did I not get laid
that year?
203
00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,010
( laughs )
204
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:59,580
Oh...
205
00:07:59,647 --> 00:08:00,948
Look at us!
206
00:08:01,014 --> 00:08:04,518
Oh, look at me.
207
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:07,688
Oh, God, I looked great.
208
00:08:07,755 --> 00:08:10,824
Ah, I could have
married anyone.
209
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:22,903
"Love one another,
but make not a bond of love."
210
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:26,439
"Let it rather
be a moving sea
211
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:30,210
between the shores
of your souls."
212
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:34,481
"Fill each other's cup...
213
00:08:34,548 --> 00:08:36,984
( clears throat )
214
00:08:37,050 --> 00:08:42,723
"...but drink not from...
from one cup."
215
00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:44,457
( suppressed giggle )
216
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,994
I'm sorry.
217
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,997
"Give one another
of your bread...
218
00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,531
( camera shutters click )
219
00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:55,102
but eat not from
the same loaf."
220
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:57,337
( laughing )
221
00:08:57,404 --> 00:08:58,839
( laughing harder )
222
00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:00,340
( supressing laughter )
223
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:03,343
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
224
00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:05,078
You know what?
I'm sorry.
225
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:06,213
This is silly.
226
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:08,616
Dude.
227
00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:10,117
Ah...
228
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:14,755
I don't need some poem
to tell you how I feel.
229
00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:18,025
I love you, Christine.
230
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:21,294
You're the best thing
that ever happened to me.
231
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:25,165
And I can't wait to spend
the rest of my life with you.
232
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:26,333
( sniffles )
233
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:31,038
( crying )
234
00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:33,774
I love you.
235
00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:36,343
( crying )
236
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:43,216
Christine?
237
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:44,384
Oh, hey, come on in.
238
00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:45,485
What's so important?
239
00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:46,620
You know I hate coming here.
240
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,121
Why?
241
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:50,758
Because it's a women's gym,
and I always hear
242
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,425
these weird snippets
of conversations
243
00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:54,662
about cycles and flow.
244
00:09:56,129 --> 00:09:58,265
I swear to God, I would hear
the word "yeast" less
245
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:00,333
if you owned a bakery.
246
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,069
Yeah, well, deal with it.
247
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:06,373
That's what women talk about
instead of killing.
248
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,841
So, what's the big emergency?
249
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:08,976
And it'd better
not be the snacks
250
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,210
because I took
care of it.
251
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:11,344
Yeah, what'd you get?
252
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:13,380
I'm going to do it after this.
253
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:17,818
So, you're never gonna believe
who joined the gym yesterday.
254
00:10:17,885 --> 00:10:19,152
Our old marriage counselor.
255
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:20,253
Hilary?
256
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,689
Yep.
257
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:22,856
She's got us confused
with some other couple
258
00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:24,291
and I'm gonna jog her memory.
259
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:27,494
Well, I don't want to see her,
so I'm leaving.
260
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,262
Crap. She saw us.
261
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:29,963
Crap.
262
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,800
She saw me say "crap."
263
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:34,001
Why are you doing this?
264
00:10:34,067 --> 00:10:36,203
'Cause she got us
totally confused
265
00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:37,570
with some other couple.
266
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,306
Richard Campbell!
267
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:40,407
Holy cow!
268
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,641
( nervous laughter )
269
00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:44,011
I was just thinking
about you.
270
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:47,347
Somebody had a birthday
a couple of weeks ago.
271
00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:48,816
So you remember Richard?
272
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,818
Yeah. I remember
both of you.
273
00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:54,154
( sotto voce ):
Damn it!
274
00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:56,957
And Christine,
what do I do with this towel?
275
00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:59,659
Just stick it somewhere.
276
00:10:59,727 --> 00:11:02,162
Okay. Take care.
277
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:04,998
Bye.
278
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,167
( sighing in exasperation )
279
00:11:07,234 --> 00:11:08,335
What?
280
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:09,469
( scoffs )
281
00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:11,104
She knows exactly who we are,
282
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,974
so she really does think
that the divorce is my fault.
283
00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:16,209
Why was she being so nice
to you?
284
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:18,011
Your birthday isn't until
next month.
285
00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:19,512
No, it was two weeks ago.
286
00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:20,748
Oh.
287
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:23,483
Happy Birthday.
288
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:24,617
Just let it go, Christine.
289
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:25,886
It's ancient history.
290
00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:27,654
Besides, why do you care
what she thinks?
291
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:29,522
Because she's a
professional therapist.
292
00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:31,058
Well, she wasn't
a very good one.
293
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:33,727
She was too opinionated,
she was late for appointments,
294
00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,228
she slept with her clients,
she...
295
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,496
What?
296
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:38,899
Yeah. Yeah, remember?
297
00:11:38,966 --> 00:11:40,567
Every appointment,
like, ten minutes late.
298
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:43,370
She slept with her clients?
299
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:44,371
Oh.
300
00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:46,706
Did she? I don't know.
301
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,144
Oh, my God!
302
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:54,214
You slept with our therapist?
303
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,350
Just twice.
304
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,721
And she was late
for that, too.
305
00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:07,394
I can't believe this,
306
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:08,962
you slept with
our therapist?!
Christine.
307
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,163
Christine,
take it easy.
I-I...
308
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,664
Take it easy.
Take it easy.
309
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:12,833
It happened long after
we broke up.
310
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,467
It was very
innocent:
311
00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:16,870
We pulled up
next to each other
at a stop light,
312
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:19,206
then we had sex.
313
00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:23,176
That is disgusting.
314
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,277
Pig!
315
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:25,879
What'd you do
the second time,
316
00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:28,882
throw her down on
the Venice Boardwalk?
317
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:30,383
You're ridiculously
close.
318
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:31,919
Ugh.
319
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,088
Pig.
320
00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:37,090
It was a rebound thing,
it didn't mean anything.
321
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:39,492
What, are you
kidding me, Richard?
322
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:42,629
If she had the hots for you
during our therapy,
323
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:45,632
then she was probably
steering us toward a breakup
324
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:48,802
rather than helping you
resolve your issue.
325
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:51,504
What?
326
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,841
Our divorce is a sham.
327
00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:56,409
Don't say that.
328
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:57,444
Don't you say that--
329
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,112
we've got
a great divorce.
330
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:01,614
I don't know, Richard.
331
00:13:01,681 --> 00:13:03,016
I don't know.
332
00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:04,952
I mean, we were in
a very vulnerable position
333
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,019
when we saw her,
334
00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:07,487
and we were getting advice
335
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:09,622
from somebody with
an ulterior motive.
336
00:13:09,689 --> 00:13:11,658
Are you saying you think
we could have worked it out?
337
00:13:11,724 --> 00:13:13,393
I don't know what to think.
338
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:14,995
Pig!
339
00:13:15,062 --> 00:13:16,429
Hey, Richard.
340
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:18,031
Um, Christine, you've
got to get out there.
341
00:13:18,098 --> 00:13:19,432
There's a group of
ladies in the bathroom
342
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:21,034
who are about to riot.
343
00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:24,204
Everyone who works out on
Wednesday is on the same cycle,
344
00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:26,506
and you're out of Maxi Pads.
345
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:31,879
It's like a CSI crime scene
in there.
346
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,784
Oh, my God,
I got to get out of here.
347
00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:39,319
Christine, please,
I'll do anything.
348
00:13:39,386 --> 00:13:40,753
I'll get any
snacks you want
349
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:41,989
if you just let me go.
350
00:13:42,055 --> 00:13:44,124
Yeah,
go ahead.
351
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:47,494
I love doing that to him.
352
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,097
Oh, God.
353
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,798
I can't... I can't sit
in this dress.
354
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,133
I can't.
Why not?
355
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,168
Plus, I haven't eaten
anything since winter.
356
00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:56,803
I'm afraid
if I take one bite,
357
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:58,505
I'm going to blow out
the whole zipper.
358
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:00,473
But that's okay, you eat,
it doesn't matter.
359
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:01,474
I'll just drink.
360
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:02,475
Come here, baby.
361
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:03,877
Mm?
362
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:04,878
Check this out.
363
00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:05,879
What?
364
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,147
Hi!
365
00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:12,319
( zipping )
( gasping )
366
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:13,453
Oh...
367
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:14,721
You like that?
368
00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:16,089
Okay, nothing
that we do tonight
369
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:17,991
will ever feel as good
as that just did.
370
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:19,192
( laughs )
371
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:20,894
Want to bet?
372
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:26,366
Oh, my God...
373
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:27,367
Who do you love?
374
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:28,535
The caterer.
375
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:31,838
Aw...
376
00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:33,273
Look at you two!
377
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:34,407
That's cute.
378
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:35,642
Hi, Barb.
379
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:36,843
You having fun?
380
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:38,011
Oh, yeah.
Beautiful wedding.
381
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:39,279
Really elegant.
Yeah.
382
00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:40,780
Listen, can I
borrow ten bucks?
383
00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:43,816
I didn't realize
it was a cash bar.
384
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,018
Hey, Richard, no offense,
385
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:47,020
but you got
some ugly groomsmen.
386
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:49,022
They look more like
pallbearers.
387
00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,059
( laughing )
388
00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:54,161
If I'm going home
with any of them,
389
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,296
I'm going to need
to get my drunk on.
390
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,566
Is that thing on?
391
00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:02,435
Come on,
keep it coming,
keep it coming.
392
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:03,803
More, more.
393
00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:05,272
More, more.
394
00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:08,508
Why are you watching that?
395
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:09,809
I don't know.
396
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:13,080
You were around when
Richard and I were
having problems.
397
00:15:13,146 --> 00:15:16,516
Was I? It's not documented
in any photographs.
398
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:18,952
Would you shut up
and help me?
I'm sorry.
399
00:15:19,019 --> 00:15:20,753
It's not just
the pictures.
400
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,022
It's everything.
401
00:15:22,089 --> 00:15:24,224
They never helped me
with my homework.
402
00:15:24,291 --> 00:15:27,394
They gave my bedroom
to that exchange
student-- Pierre.
403
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:29,462
And then just because
my birthday
404
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:31,131
comes a week
before Christmas,
405
00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:35,002
they always told me
the tree was my present.
406
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:38,905
Was it really over
between me and Richard?
407
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:40,107
I mean, what would
have happened
408
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:41,208
if we'd hung in there?
409
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,475
Why are you saying this?
410
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:44,411
You and Richard were
made to be divorced.
411
00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:45,945
You know that.
412
00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:48,481
I mean, I thought I did,
I really did.
413
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:52,819
But then I just found out
that Richard slept with
our marriage counselor.
414
00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:54,587
We never had
a marriage counselor.
415
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,589
We weren't even married.
416
00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:58,125
Would you listen to me?
417
00:15:58,191 --> 00:15:59,892
I am in a crisis.
418
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,229
I am in a crisis, too!
419
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:10,770
I just can't stop thinking
about that Hilary.
420
00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:13,406
Do you really think you and
Richard would still be married
421
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,907
if Hilary wasn't
your therapist?
422
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:17,344
I don't know.
Who's to say?
423
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:18,245
I can say.
424
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,180
Your marriage was a mess.
425
00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:22,149
Christine, look,
can I be honest with you?
426
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:25,318
Yes. But not about my body.
427
00:16:25,385 --> 00:16:26,519
Or my hair.
428
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,355
Or what other people
are saying about me.
429
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:33,826
Have a nice day.
430
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:36,729
WOMAN ( over PA ):
Change stations now.
431
00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:39,666
Okay, what, what?
432
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:41,401
You've got to stop blaming
everybody else
433
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:42,935
for the breakup
of your marriage.
434
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,504
I'm not blaming.
435
00:16:44,571 --> 00:16:46,706
I just want to know
whose fault it was.
436
00:16:46,773 --> 00:16:47,940
It doesn't matter.
437
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,142
Of course it matters.
438
00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:50,977
Whose fault do you think it was?
439
00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:54,581
(imitating woman over PA ):
Change stations now.
440
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:59,086
No. No. No.
441
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:01,754
Come on, come on.
You have an opinion.
442
00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:02,755
I want to know what it is.
443
00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:04,357
Man, I hate this gym.
444
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:05,958
Tell me.
445
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:10,163
Look, I've been your
black friend for 25 years now,
446
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:11,931
and you know I love you,
447
00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:13,900
but, Christine,
you are a control freak.
448
00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:16,503
I mean, you called all the shots
in that relationship.
449
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:18,771
You ended your marriage,
nobody else.
450
00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:21,108
WOMAN ( over PA ):
Change stations now.
451
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:22,642
That was her.
452
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:31,818
I don't want to do this today.
453
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,120
Ritchie, come on, buddy.
454
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:35,054
Karate was your idea.
455
00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:36,423
Remember we
talked about this
456
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:40,026
when I paid for
the 12-week course?
457
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:41,294
This can't be like tennis,
458
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:43,096
when you took one lesson
and decided to quit.
459
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:45,998
I want to play tennis again.
460
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,000
Ritchie, I'm not doing this.
461
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,836
You're taking karate
and that's it.
462
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:52,772
Okay, now get out there
and kick some wiener.
463
00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:58,411
Hey.
Hey.
464
00:17:58,478 --> 00:17:59,579
Oh.
465
00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:04,016
How's he doing?
466
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,418
Well, better
than basketball.
467
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:08,155
At least I got him
out of the locker.
468
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:09,789
( groans )
469
00:18:09,856 --> 00:18:11,191
You okay?
470
00:18:11,258 --> 00:18:13,193
Yeah. Look, uh...
471
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:16,329
I owe you an apology, okay?
472
00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:18,598
The divorce wasn't
Hilary's fault.
473
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:19,866
It wasn't your fault.
474
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:21,968
Apparently,
it was my fault.
475
00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:23,670
I made the decision
to get divorced.
476
00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:26,973
I'm a control freak,
and I always have been.
477
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:28,441
I mean, look at this,
look at this.
478
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:29,876
I even brought the snacks,
479
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,078
and this was after
I made the realization
480
00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:33,446
that I'm a control freak.
481
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:34,814
Christine...
482
00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:38,017
You see? Even now, even now
I want to say something
483
00:18:38,084 --> 00:18:41,288
about what you're wearing,
and I'm not even married to you.
484
00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:42,522
I mean, what do I care?
485
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,691
Do you have another
pair of jeans?
486
00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:46,593
I can't help myself.
487
00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:48,461
I'm a monster.
488
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:52,332
I ruined our marriage,
and now I'm ruining our divorce.
489
00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:54,801
Christine,
Christine,
stop, stop.
490
00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:56,736
Look, I shouldn't have
slept with Hilary.
491
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,104
I'm sorry.
492
00:18:58,171 --> 00:18:59,739
I was a mess
after we broke up.
493
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,374
I didn't know
what I was doing.
494
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,276
Yeah, but you know what,
that was my fault,
495
00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:04,644
because I drove you to her.
496
00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:05,712
Literally.
497
00:19:05,778 --> 00:19:07,414
Remember? I wouldn't
let you drive
498
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,081
because you always changed lanes
499
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,517
without checking
your blind spot.
500
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:11,718
Christine,
listen to me.
501
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:13,152
Listen to me.
502
00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:16,189
Yes, okay? Yes, it was
your decision
503
00:19:16,256 --> 00:19:18,291
to end the marriage,
but I'm glad you did.
504
00:19:18,358 --> 00:19:22,061
Yeah, but maybe
we could have worked it out.
No, we couldn't have.
505
00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:23,196
Yeah, but I...
Can I finish?
506
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:24,264
But I just...
Can I finish?
507
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:26,799
But I just...
Can I finish?
508
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:28,668
Our marriage didn't work,
509
00:19:28,735 --> 00:19:30,903
and if you didn't end it,
we'd still be going at it.
510
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:32,539
Because unlike
our son,
511
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:34,374
who signs up for things
and quits almost immediately,
512
00:19:34,441 --> 00:19:37,377
I sign up for things
and stay way too long.
513
00:19:37,444 --> 00:19:40,213
I'm still giving money
to the Kerry campaign.
514
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:45,685
We weren't happy.
515
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:49,222
And I am really
grateful to you
516
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:51,958
for killing our marriage
when you did.
517
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,962
Now you're just being nice.
518
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:58,231
I'm not.
519
00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:01,234
You made the decision
I couldn't make.
520
00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:04,103
It wasn't controlling,
it was brave.
521
00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:07,374
And we're happy now.
522
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,209
We finally have
a healthy dynamic,
523
00:20:10,277 --> 00:20:11,578
don't you think?
524
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:13,580
Yeah.
525
00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:14,914
You're right.
526
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:15,982
Thank you.
527
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,452
This is better.
528
00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:24,524
So what'd you bring
for snacks?
529
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:25,892
Nothing.
530
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:30,563
I knew it. I knew
you wouldn't bring snacks.
531
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:33,466
And I knew you would.
532
00:20:33,533 --> 00:20:37,737
* La-oh-la-da... *
533
00:20:41,674 --> 00:20:44,010
FEMALE VOCALIST:
* My first love *
534
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:49,081
* You're every breath
that I take *
535
00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:55,187
* You're every step I make *
536
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:58,458
MALE VOCALIST:
* And I... *
537
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:00,693
MATTHEW:
Hey, there I am!
36335
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