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1
00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:22,423
Hi. Reminding myself to sign
Ritchie's permission slip,
2
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:26,860
bake cupcakes for
Parents' Night, new mascara...
3
00:00:26,927 --> 00:00:29,630
Oh. Shave things.
4
00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:31,031
Okay, yeah, that's it.
5
00:00:31,099 --> 00:00:32,800
Um, thank you very much.
6
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,769
Oh! Juice boxes.
7
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:36,804
God!
8
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:41,575
Hello?
9
00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,477
Hey, Christine,
it's me, Richard.
10
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:44,778
What?
11
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:47,315
Richard Campbell. We were
married ten years, now divorced.
12
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,616
We have a son, Ritchie.
13
00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:50,718
No, I just,
I didn't hear the phone ring.
14
00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:52,886
That surprised me;
I was on the other line.
15
00:00:52,953 --> 00:00:54,021
With yourself?
16
00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:55,489
( scoffs )
17
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,358
You don't know that for sure.
18
00:00:57,425 --> 00:01:01,162
Has the cold medicine kicked in?
19
00:01:01,229 --> 00:01:03,464
Like I'm still doing that.
20
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,633
What're you doing?
21
00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:08,302
I'm having anxiety attacks
about that damn
22
00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:10,804
Parents' Night at Ritchie's
school tomorrow night.
23
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:13,607
Ritchie's room mom asked me
to bring cupcakes.
24
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:16,210
When do I have time
to make cupcakes?
25
00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:17,278
So just buy some.
26
00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:18,612
What, are you nuts?
27
00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:20,581
If I show up
with store-bought cupcakes,
28
00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:24,685
the other moms will call
Child Protective Services.
29
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:25,919
( laughs )
30
00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:28,088
You care too much
what those other moms think.
31
00:01:28,156 --> 00:01:30,791
Well, Richard, you have to care
what other people think...
32
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:32,926
I mean, until you're old.
33
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:35,163
Then you can be
like your mother.
34
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,964
( laughs )
35
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:38,632
( Richard laughs )
36
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:41,769
Wow. I didn't see that
coming around to my mother.
37
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:43,537
Nicely done.
38
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,439
Thank you. Thank you very much.
39
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:46,907
So...
40
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:51,412
I was thinking, maybe it's time
for Ritchie to meet Christine.
41
00:01:52,746 --> 00:01:55,183
Not you, of course.
He's met you, came out of you.
42
00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:57,618
Uh...
43
00:01:57,685 --> 00:02:02,890
I mean, you know,
my new Christine girlfriend.
44
00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:08,796
Are you there?
45
00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:11,232
Press the "9" key
if you're still awake.
46
00:02:11,299 --> 00:02:13,767
Yeah, I'm here, Richard.
47
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,203
So, what do you think?
48
00:02:16,103 --> 00:02:18,672
I think good!
49
00:02:21,942 --> 00:02:24,144
I think great.
50
00:02:24,212 --> 00:02:25,813
I mean, it's about time.
51
00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,315
Haven't those two met yet?
52
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:29,750
( laughs )
53
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:30,784
I got to go.
54
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:31,919
What happened?
55
00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,921
You were right.
I'm still on that cold medicine,
56
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,056
and it just kicked in.
I'm really fading fast.
57
00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:38,859
So good night.
58
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:40,761
Damn it! Damn it!
59
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:43,364
I'm still here.
Oh.
60
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,536
Well, uh...
61
00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:51,305
( clears throat )
...have a good night.
62
00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:53,774
( sighs )
63
00:02:57,278 --> 00:03:00,414
( soles scuffing ground )
64
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:06,820
( whispering ):
Matthew.
65
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:07,855
( taps glass )
66
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,657
Are you up?
67
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:12,326
( whispering sternly ):
Matthew?!
68
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,763
It's me, it's me.
69
00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:16,864
Hi.
70
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:20,834
This better not be
about American Idol.
71
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:22,603
I got a real emergency.
72
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:23,737
Listen...
73
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:27,207
Richard wants
to introduce Ritchie to...
74
00:03:27,275 --> 00:03:30,411
his... you know...
75
00:03:30,478 --> 00:03:31,912
You might as well
just say it.
76
00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:34,548
New Christine.
77
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:37,184
Damn it.
78
00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:39,453
Wow, a new,
young girlfriend,
79
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:41,088
with the same
name as you.
80
00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:45,092
That kind of blows.
81
00:03:45,158 --> 00:03:47,295
Yeah, it so blows.
82
00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:55,869
Is everything okay?
83
00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:58,872
Yeah. No, no. You know,
I-I just took
84
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:01,074
some cold medicine, um,
85
00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:03,311
'cause I have
a little...
86
00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:05,446
( coughing )
87
00:04:05,513 --> 00:04:07,648
...uh, cough.
88
00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:09,517
Boy, that cough's
really hanging on.
89
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,452
What is it, like,
six years now?
90
00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:13,454
Leave me alone.
91
00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:17,391
I don't make fun
of your glaucoma medicine.
92
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:25,132
Listen, Matthew,
93
00:04:25,198 --> 00:04:28,902
Ritchie is not
ready to meet his
dad's girlfriend.
94
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:30,404
Listen, I know
what you're afraid of.
95
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:31,972
He's not going
to like her better
than you.
96
00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:33,907
I mean, I never liked
anyone more than our mom,
97
00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:36,610
and she made me buy her
tampons and cigarettes.
98
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,480
Till about 15 years ago,
99
00:04:39,547 --> 00:04:42,550
then she just wanted
the cigarettes.
100
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:46,454
And air-conditioning.
101
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:47,821
You know,
I just don't know
102
00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:49,623
how Ritchie's going
to react.
103
00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:50,824
So stall.
104
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:52,493
I-I was dating this girl once
and I got the feeling
105
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:53,927
she was going
to break up with me,
106
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:58,265
so I just never
answered the phone
when she called.
107
00:04:58,332 --> 00:04:59,467
For how long?
108
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,902
I think we're
still together.
109
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:04,638
You should go back
to bed.
110
00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:05,973
You're going
to make your cold worse.
111
00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:11,011
What? Oh, yeah.
Ooh, I should go take something.
112
00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:18,118
"Three and half cups flour...
sifted."
113
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:20,454
Oh, I have... okay.
114
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:23,757
Okay, one...
115
00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:27,294
two...
116
00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:28,396
( knocking )
117
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:30,564
Yeah, just a minute!
118
00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:33,266
Two...
Christine!
119
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,302
Yeah, come on in.
Come on in.
120
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:40,040
Four. Wait. What?
121
00:05:40,908 --> 00:05:42,042
( sighs )
122
00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:47,448
I hope you preheated
that trashcan to 375.
123
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:51,318
Did you come over here
to make fun of my cooking?
124
00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:53,286
Christine's waiting
outside.
125
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,288
What? Why?
126
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,290
She's here
to meet Ritchie.
127
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,159
What do you mean, now?
128
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:02,530
Yeah. Last night on the phone
you said it was okay.
129
00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:05,265
No, no. I said it was okay
at some point, okay?
130
00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:09,737
You know, at some point far,
far down the line, you know?
131
00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:12,473
After books have been read
132
00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:16,744
and professionals have been
consulted, okay?
133
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:17,978
I didn't know you were talking
about this morning, okay?
134
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:20,080
We can't do it now.
I'm not ready.
135
00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:23,083
You're not ready?
136
00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:25,853
No, I said he's not ready.
137
00:06:25,919 --> 00:06:27,721
You said you.
138
00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:30,524
No, I said "I" as in "him,"
139
00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:34,227
as in I gave birth to him.
140
00:06:34,294 --> 00:06:36,363
You see, Richard, you know what?
141
00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:38,198
You don't listen. No.
142
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:40,067
Christine, it's okay.
143
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:42,470
Christine loves kids,
and I've talked to Ritchie
144
00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:43,937
about the fact
that I'm dating.
145
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,707
He's okay with it.
146
00:06:46,774 --> 00:06:49,342
Okay, you're right.
I'll be fine.
147
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,944
I'll call him.
148
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:54,848
( softly ):
Ritchie.
149
00:06:57,350 --> 00:07:00,053
Ritchie.
150
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,855
Ah, you know what?
He's not home.
151
00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:03,591
Hey, Dad!
152
00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:05,225
Ah, he came back.
153
00:07:05,292 --> 00:07:07,060
Hi.
154
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,797
Hey, Richard, you shouldn't
leave your girlfriend
out on the front porch.
155
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:13,767
Someone took my bike
from there last week.
156
00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:19,272
Hi, Christine.
157
00:07:19,339 --> 00:07:21,909
Dad, who's that?
158
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,778
Ritchie, I want you
to meet someone.
159
00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:26,814
This is my friend
I've told you about.
160
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,549
Hi, Ritchie. I'm Christine.
161
00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:29,717
Hi, Christine.
162
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,119
Hey, Mom,
she has your same name.
163
00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:34,922
We're going to have
to work on that.
164
00:07:34,988 --> 00:07:36,356
We'll let Mom
keep her name, though.
165
00:07:36,423 --> 00:07:37,891
She's had it longer.
166
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:45,032
So, we thought we'd
go out for pancakes.
167
00:07:45,098 --> 00:07:48,201
Oh, uh, Ritchie doesn't like
pancakes.
168
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:49,069
We could get eggs.
169
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:50,203
I love eggs.
170
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:51,471
Problem solved.
171
00:07:51,539 --> 00:07:53,373
So let's go
get some eggs.
172
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,608
Okay.
Thank you for this.
173
00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:55,909
Yes, thank you so much.
174
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,178
Okay. Bye, darling.
Give Mommy a little huggy.
175
00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,180
Ooh. You're
such a big boy.
176
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:01,248
Good-bye, good-bye.
177
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,086
I love you.
Good-bye, darling.
178
00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,721
I adore you.
179
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:09,690
Am I ever
coming back?
180
00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:11,024
Yes, of course, you are.
181
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:12,726
Christine,
you're freaking him out.
182
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:15,696
Okay, sorry, sorry.
Off you go. Good-bye, darling.
183
00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:18,465
Bye-bye. Have fun.
184
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:21,569
I'll just be here making
your cupcakes.
185
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:25,172
One...
186
00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:27,040
two...
187
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:32,680
All right, keep an eye
out for Ritchie.
188
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:34,447
He and Richard
are meeting us
here tonight.
189
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,616
Oh, did you get any
information
190
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:36,817
on how it went
with the girlfriend?
191
00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:38,085
Oh, no, I didn't ask.
192
00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:39,587
'Cause you know
what I'm not doing?
193
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:41,755
Blinking?
194
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:44,925
No, I'm not freaking out,
195
00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:46,960
'cause I've decided
to be mature.
196
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,161
They were going
to meet sometime,
197
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:49,697
that sometime was today.
198
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:52,165
They met, it's over.
I have nothing to worry about
199
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:53,233
because I'm his mom.
200
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,803
Well, you really are mature.
201
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,437
Here come those meanie moms
I was telling you about.
202
00:08:57,504 --> 00:09:00,207
Let's freeze 'em out.
Freeze 'em out.
Freeze 'em.
203
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:04,244
Oh, Christine,
you made it.
204
00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:06,479
How wonderful.
205
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:07,781
Oh, yeah, of course
I made it.
206
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:08,982
I wouldn't miss it.
207
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,317
Hello.
208
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,219
Hi.
209
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:12,986
Hi, there.
210
00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,054
Uh...
211
00:09:14,121 --> 00:09:15,088
I'm Marly.
212
00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:16,624
My daughter Ashley's
in the same class
213
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,358
with Christine's son
from her first marriage.
214
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:19,426
No...
215
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:22,162
That's, that's my only marriage.
216
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:23,330
Oh, good.
217
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:28,068
Lindsay. Kelsey third,
Sammy fourth, Jackson pre-K.
218
00:09:32,740 --> 00:09:35,075
This is my brother.
This is Matthew.
219
00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:37,310
Oh, brother.
Okay.
Okay, yeah.
220
00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:38,646
So what do you do,
Matthew?
221
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:39,713
I'm a producer.
222
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:40,714
No, you're not.
223
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,049
I'm a product tester.
224
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:44,618
What? Stop it.
225
00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:45,886
No, he's my nanny.
226
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:48,121
He takes care of Ritchie
when I'm at the gym.
227
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:51,124
Oh, good for you.
Work and the gym.
Lots of "me" time.
228
00:09:51,191 --> 00:09:54,127
Yeah. Yeah, no wonder
you can't make it
to school events.
229
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:56,730
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
I own the gym.
230
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,999
And I'm here at a school event.
231
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:01,401
And I even made
these cupcakes here.
232
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:02,736
I baked them from scratch.
Baked?
233
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:04,471
Oh, my goodness.
Made them herself.
234
00:10:04,537 --> 00:10:06,006
Yeah.
235
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:08,208
And well, baking
probably helps keep
your mind off...
236
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,010
Well, bless your heart.
237
00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:11,979
It's nice meeting
you, Matthew.
238
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:19,519
Hi, Mom!
Hey, Ritchie! Oh, hi, honey.
239
00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:21,354
I'm so glad to see you.
240
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:22,756
Gosh, did you have fun?
241
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:25,092
I had a lot of fun.
Christine's so nice.
242
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,527
We went out
for breakfast.
Oh.
243
00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:29,296
And I had
an extra large soda.
244
00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:30,397
Holy moly.
245
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,832
And then we went
to the mall
246
00:10:31,899 --> 00:10:34,067
and I got to have
ice cream for lunch.
247
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,168
Whoa!
248
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:36,269
It was really fun.
249
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,471
Yeah, you said that.
250
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:40,473
Oh, that's great.
251
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:44,177
I really, really,
really think that's great.
252
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:45,913
( whispers ):
Blink.
253
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,219
And she came with us.
254
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:54,922
And she what?
255
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,123
Oh, hi.
256
00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:57,324
Oh, Christine,
257
00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:58,558
he's such
a great kid.
258
00:10:58,625 --> 00:10:59,893
We had so much fun.
259
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:03,931
Uh, well, has anyone
ever had as much fun
260
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,299
as you had today?
261
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:10,303
We brought donuts
and they're hot.
262
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:12,172
Ooh, that sounds good.
263
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:15,442
Not as good as one of your
trashcan cupcakes, though...
264
00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:21,982
Mom, can I have a hot donut?
265
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:23,450
No, honey.
No donuts.
266
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:26,286
Sounds like you've been
eating sugar all day.
267
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,455
And that can give
you a headache.
268
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,556
That's what fun does.
269
00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:31,992
It gives you a headache.
270
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:35,695
Richard, can I talk to you
just for a second?
271
00:11:35,763 --> 00:11:37,030
Yeah.
272
00:11:39,599 --> 00:11:41,568
Why is she here?
273
00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:43,436
And please don't use
the word "fun,"
274
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:47,808
or I swear to God
I'll push you down.
275
00:11:47,875 --> 00:11:49,877
Christine, there was
nothing I could do.
276
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,511
We ran out of time.
277
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:52,813
Are you upset
that she's here?
278
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,115
Am I upset
that she's here?
279
00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:56,483
You know, I think
there might
280
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,419
actually be something
wrong with you, Richard.
281
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,088
Okay?
282
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:04,858
It's Parents' Night.
It's for parents.
283
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:08,095
Chippy Night is
later in the month.
284
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:11,899
Why are you making
such a big deal?
285
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:14,034
Are you still worried about
what those moms will think?
286
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:16,436
No, I'm worried
about our son.
287
00:12:16,503 --> 00:12:17,771
This is a new school,
288
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:20,173
and we come in here,
me, the working mother,
289
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,375
you, the ex-husband,
the new girlfriend,
290
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:23,743
the producer brother.
291
00:12:23,811 --> 00:12:26,013
I mean, put a couple
of bolts on your neck
292
00:12:26,079 --> 00:12:28,415
and we're the
freakin' Munsters.
293
00:12:31,351 --> 00:12:32,419
That's ridiculous.
294
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:34,054
No one's even going
to notice that she's here.
295
00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:35,688
You must be
Ritchie's mom.
296
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,357
Boy, you look
just like him.
297
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:45,698
Um, hi.
298
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,034
We haven't been introduced.
299
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,003
I'm actually Ritchie's mom.
300
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:51,839
I'm Christine Campbell.
301
00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:53,773
I'm sorry,
I just assumed...
302
00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:55,642
No, no, no, that's such
an easy mistake to make.
303
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:56,977
I mean, it's Parents' Night.
304
00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:59,279
And generally, you don't
think of Parents' Night
305
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:01,949
as being open to
the community at large.
306
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:07,487
But since we're all here,
I've made these name tags,
307
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:11,992
just to avoid any
uncomfortable situations.
308
00:13:16,897 --> 00:13:18,331
I'm going to get a donut.
309
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,000
Oh, okay.
Well, you know what?
310
00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:21,869
These cupcakes are homemade,
in case
311
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,703
you're interested
in that, but you're not.
312
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,272
That's fine.
313
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:28,741
Mom, is it okay if I show
New Christine my artwork?
314
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,410
I'd love to see
your artwork, Ritchie.
315
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:33,380
You know, once, they put
my art up in a mall.
Cool.
316
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:34,447
NEW CHRISTINE:
Yeah!
317
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:43,390
So... bringing the new
girlfriend to Parents' Night.
318
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:46,894
How'd you get pants on
over walnuts that big?
319
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,662
What? I don't see why
it's such a big deal.
320
00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:51,131
You don't?
321
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:54,467
I think there might actually
be something wrong with you.
322
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:57,837
Is that lizard eating
one of my cupcakes?
323
00:13:57,905 --> 00:14:01,174
Oh, no. We tried, but he
wouldn't go near it.
324
00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,912
Christine, Ritchie is
such a great artist.
325
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:06,779
Yeah, I know that.
326
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:07,915
Mom?
Yeah?
327
00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:08,982
Can I have a donut now?
328
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:12,052
No. No more sweets.
329
00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:13,486
I told you
we shouldn't have asked her.
330
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:14,787
( scoffs )
331
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,389
Attention, parents!
Can I get you all
332
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:18,191
to gather around here
for a few moments?
333
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:21,161
I want to bring you up to speed
about our planned curriculum
334
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:22,762
for the remainder of the year
335
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:24,864
and answer any questions
you might have.
336
00:14:24,932 --> 00:14:27,500
The donuts are almost gone.
337
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,502
Please, can I have one?
338
00:14:29,569 --> 00:14:31,571
Ritchie, the answer is no.
339
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:34,241
All right, come on,
let's go and see what
Mrs. Belt has to say.
340
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:36,343
I want to stay here
with Christine.
341
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,915
Ritchie, I think you should
go with your mom.
342
00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:44,584
I don't want to.
I'd rather stay here with you.
343
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:48,121
No, no, that's fine.
344
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:49,722
That's totally okay.
345
00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:52,892
But when somebody asks you
"What's the planned curriculum
346
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,594
gonna be?"
you're not gonna know.
347
00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:57,097
And I'm not gonna tell you.
348
00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,667
Look at this.
349
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,803
The kids are gonna have pen pals
in third world countries.
350
00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:05,538
What a sweet idea.
351
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:08,175
Oh, shut up.
352
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,642
Well, thank you, everyone.
353
00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:12,245
Now please, take a look
around our classroom,
354
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:13,981
enjoy some of
our yummy desserts.
355
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:17,217
I think I saw
hot donuts over there.
356
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,390
Mrs. Campbell?
357
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,959
A-Are you all right?
358
00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:27,594
Oh, yeah, I'm-I'm fine.
359
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:28,828
I'm fine, Mrs. Belt.
360
00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:30,330
Well, actually,
361
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:32,099
I'm just a little bit
worried about Ritchie.
362
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:35,535
He just met his dad's girlfriend
for the first time,
363
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:39,439
and he might be having
a rough time with it.
364
00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:42,009
Are you having a rough time
with it, Mrs. Campbell?
365
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:43,876
Yeah, Mrs. Belt.
366
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,079
I... I certainly am.
367
00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:53,286
Hey, are you
sure you're okay?
368
00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:54,921
Oh, yeah, Matthew, I'm fine.
369
00:15:54,988 --> 00:16:00,994
I mean, Mrs. Belt just seemed
like she needed a hug, so...
370
00:16:01,061 --> 00:16:03,030
At least Ritchie
seems to like her.
371
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:04,264
CHRISTINE:
Well, yeah.
372
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:05,798
Of course he likes her.
373
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:07,000
She's all...
374
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:10,237
28 and well rested.
375
00:16:12,039 --> 00:16:13,573
Yeah, she is cute.
376
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,608
Am I cute?
377
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:18,145
Don't do that.
378
00:16:18,211 --> 00:16:21,048
God, it was bad enough
when she was New Christine.
379
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:22,649
Now she's Fun Christine?
380
00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:25,785
I mean, I can't even imagine
what that makes me.
381
00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:27,487
Listen, of course he wants
to be with her tonight.
382
00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:29,456
She's all sunshine
and smiles,
383
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:32,192
and you're all
tension and teeth.
384
00:16:39,199 --> 00:16:40,900
Well, what am I supposed
to do, I mean,
385
00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:44,771
just break all the rules,
let him eat sugar all the time,
386
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,173
you know, just so he'll like me?
387
00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:48,041
That's what you do with
me, and I like you.
388
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:50,910
All right,
all right.
389
00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:52,479
Hey, Ritchie.
390
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:53,813
What?
391
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:58,618
If you're still interested,
you can have a cupcake!
392
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:01,488
Can I have a donut?
393
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:04,891
Well, but the cupcakes are
homemade-- really--
394
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:09,396
with love and organic eggs,
while the donuts are made
395
00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:13,133
with lard by strangers
in hairnets.
396
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,367
( sniffs )
397
00:17:24,611 --> 00:17:28,047
But if you want a donut,
you can have one.
398
00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:31,084
Have two.
Really?
399
00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:33,720
Sure. It'd be fun.
400
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:36,923
Can I have another one?
401
00:17:36,989 --> 00:17:38,191
Yeah, what the hell?
402
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:40,127
A little sugar
never hurt anyone.
403
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:41,394
( coughing )
404
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,930
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
405
00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:46,433
I'm so sorry about your tummy.
406
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:48,901
You think you can make
it to the bathroom now?
407
00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:51,238
What happened, pal?
Are you okay?
408
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:53,473
Mom made me eat four donuts.
409
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:54,541
Christine!
410
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:55,608
Come on, pal.
411
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,644
Let's go splash
some water on your face.
412
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,985
Oh, Christine, hi.
413
00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:07,387
Uh... yeah, I was just...
414
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:09,322
Do I smell like cigarettes?
It's 'cause...
415
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:11,458
yeah, there was this group of
guys smoking out there,
416
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:13,826
and I just walked through,
like, a big cloud of it.
417
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:17,664
And now I feel like I smell...
Okay, I smoke.
418
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,232
Oh, that's okay.
419
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:21,668
I take cold medicine
to go to sleep.
420
00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:24,337
I take sleeping pills
and cold medicine.
421
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:29,108
Uh, are you okay?
Yeah, yeah.
422
00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:33,546
I mean, divorce sucks and I'm
a terrible mother, but I'm fine.
423
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:36,749
You know, it could be worse.
424
00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:39,486
My husband doesn't even
show up to these things.
425
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:42,389
Your kid's got his dad
and his uncle,
426
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,491
his dad's girlfriend and you.
427
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:47,160
That's a lot of people
showing an interest.
428
00:18:47,227 --> 00:18:49,762
My kid would kill for that.
429
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:52,465
Are you being nice to me?
430
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:54,066
You know, mothers have
to stick together.
431
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,067
What are you doing?
432
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,869
Christine was smoking.
433
00:18:56,936 --> 00:18:59,138
I was looking for you.
Well, you found me.
434
00:18:59,206 --> 00:19:01,341
I don't like that.
435
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:05,978
Oh, is he okay?
436
00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:07,380
Is he still barfing?
437
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,616
Well, he stopped,
and then he started again.
438
00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,551
And then he stopped,
and then he started again.
439
00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:13,186
And then he stopped,
and then he really started.
440
00:19:13,253 --> 00:19:14,354
And I'm not very...
441
00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:15,688
I got it.
I got it. I got it.
442
00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:18,591
Christine. I know I shouldn't
have come tonight.
443
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,692
I just really
444
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:21,494
wanted to spend
some time with Ritchie.
445
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:23,896
I mean, he's such a big part
of Richard's life,
446
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:25,998
and you're such a big part
of Richard's life.
447
00:19:26,065 --> 00:19:28,768
And... well, sometimes I get
a little bit jealous of you.
448
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:31,137
You're jealous of me?
449
00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:32,505
Yeah.
450
00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:35,375
I think that's why
I'm so mean to you.
451
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:43,316
Well... as long as
we're being honest,
452
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:46,586
I should say...
453
00:19:48,955 --> 00:19:52,392
...I accept your apology.
454
00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:53,493
( door opens )
455
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,262
Mommy, I feel sick.
456
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:56,729
Oh, honey, I'm coming,
sweetheart.
457
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:57,764
I'm coming.
458
00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:58,765
I have to go.
459
00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:01,100
My kid needs his mommy.
460
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:05,238
But you've been
very nice to my son,
461
00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:07,139
and Ritchie seems
to like you very much.
462
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,975
So that's the important thing.
463
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:13,012
So I guess I should say...
464
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:15,382
I accept your apology.
465
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:21,354
Yeah, and I was
trying to be fun.
466
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:23,323
But being fun isn't
really my job.
467
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:25,258
My job is to take care of you.
468
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:27,594
So from now on, I'm
gonna stick to that.
469
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:30,196
I mean, that doesn't mean that
we can't have fun sometimes.
470
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:32,131
We can, just not all the time.
471
00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:33,633
'Cause there's a time
for fun, and...
472
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:36,636
Could you stop talking, please?
473
00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:37,470
Yeah.
474
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:39,806
Thank you.
Yeah.
32887
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