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1
00:00:19,187 --> 00:00:21,089
Hi, it's me. Message to myself.
2
00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:22,590
A few things:
3
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:25,293
uh, put extra money
in Ritchie's lunch for snack,
4
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:30,030
buy milk, buy wine,
find weird smell in living room.
5
00:00:30,098 --> 00:00:32,633
Botox, maybe. I don't know.
6
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,768
Stop taking NyQuil.
I think it's keeping you up.
7
00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:38,139
Okay, yeah, that's it.
Thank you very much.
8
00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:39,140
You know what?
9
00:00:39,207 --> 00:00:41,475
No, no Botox. That's gross.
10
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:45,879
Who are you? Learn to love
yourself, for God sakes.
11
00:00:45,946 --> 00:00:49,383
Okay, yeah, that's it.
Um, have a good night.
12
00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:55,889
RECORDING:
Sent today at 2:57 a.m.:
13
00:00:55,956 --> 00:01:00,894
CHRISTINE:
Yeah, hi, fix sprinklers,
put pictures in photo album,
14
00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:02,696
stop eating sugar.
15
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:05,633
It's no replacement for love.
16
00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:09,470
Buy more NyQuil.
That's it. Thank you very much.
17
00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:11,372
Why do you always thank
yourself?
18
00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:14,308
Because sometimes
there are whole days
19
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:16,977
when I'm the only one
who's polite to me.
20
00:01:17,044 --> 00:01:19,880
Oh, sad.
21
00:01:19,947 --> 00:01:22,316
Yeah. It is.
22
00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:25,919
So, it's an exciting day.
23
00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:28,556
Exciting new school.
24
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:29,623
Are you excited?
25
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:30,824
No.
26
00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:33,994
Oh, don't say no.
You are excited.
27
00:01:34,061 --> 00:01:35,896
It's very exciting.
28
00:01:35,963 --> 00:01:37,631
300 kids applied to your school.
29
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,967
Only two got in,
and you're one of them.
30
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:41,435
Why?
31
00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:45,206
Why? Honey, because you're smart
and you're friendly
32
00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:46,974
and if anyone asks,
33
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:50,110
you're one-sixteenth
Native American.
34
00:01:50,178 --> 00:01:52,012
I don't want to go
to a private school.
35
00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:53,981
I want to stay in school
with Julian.
36
00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:57,084
Oh, come on, pal.
This is a great opportunity.
37
00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:58,852
Going to a school
we can't afford
38
00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:00,988
with people we've never met.
39
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:04,192
It'll... i-it's better.
40
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:07,728
I don't want to be better
than Julian.
41
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,397
Well, that's not what I'm
saying, Ritchie.
42
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:12,065
I'm saying that the school
is better, not you.
43
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,367
And I don't want to catch you
44
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:15,569
turning into a snob
either, all right?
45
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,104
You're not better than anyone.
46
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:19,106
What about murderers?
47
00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:20,874
What?
48
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:22,543
Am I better than murderers?
49
00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:25,846
Well, yeah, honey, of course,
you're better than murderers,
50
00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:26,880
but nobody else.
51
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,115
What about racists?
52
00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:31,285
All right, you're better
than racists,
53
00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:34,555
and you're better than
murderers, but that's it.
54
00:02:34,622 --> 00:02:37,258
I heard "racist."
You talking about Grandpa?
55
00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:38,726
No, Uncle Matthew.
56
00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:40,628
We're talking about Ritchie's
new school
57
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,196
and how much fun
it's going to be
58
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:43,697
because they've got
a brand-new gym,
59
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:46,567
and they have a music program
and they have a science lab.
60
00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:48,869
And a giant wall
to keep out the poor people.
61
00:02:48,936 --> 00:02:50,738
And a snack bar!
62
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:54,141
Okay, go upstairs,
put your uniform
on, okay, sweetie?
63
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:55,809
Daddy's going to meet us
at school,
64
00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:57,411
and then he's coming over
for pizza tonight,
65
00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:58,746
and maybe we'll watch a movie.
66
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:00,414
Cool.
67
00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:02,082
You and Richard
have a weird divorce.
68
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:04,785
It's not weird. It's great.
69
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:07,721
My divorce is better than
most people's marriages.
70
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:10,591
We get along, we spend time
together as a family.
71
00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:12,125
Nothing's really changed.
72
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,761
Then why didn't you just
stay married?
73
00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:16,297
Because, Matthew,
it's complicated.
74
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:20,534
My marriage was like a game
of hide-and-seek
75
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:23,237
where both of us hid
and nobody seeked.
76
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:26,274
Sought.
77
00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:28,576
Slept together.
78
00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:32,646
Nothing's really changed.
79
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:43,791
Why is everyone's car
so much bigger than ours?
80
00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:46,994
Because they don't
believe in themselves.
81
00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:51,965
Do we believe
in ourselves?
82
00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:54,435
Look at our car.
83
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,442
Okay...
84
00:04:01,509 --> 00:04:04,978
Well, this is nice.
85
00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:06,246
Nice desks.
86
00:04:06,314 --> 00:04:08,982
Look at nice artwork.
87
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,651
Where are the black kids?
88
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:12,252
Shh!
89
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,960
Don't, don't say that.
90
00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:22,730
There was one in the brochure.
91
00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:27,835
I'm sure he's around here
somewhere.
92
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:31,038
Hello.
93
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,440
Hi.
94
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:33,774
I don't know you.
95
00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:34,708
Ah... we're new.
96
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:37,110
Hi, I'm Christine
Campbell.
97
00:04:37,177 --> 00:04:38,278
Hi. Marly Ehrhardt.
98
00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:40,180
Ashley third,
Nicky first.
99
00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:41,214
Lindsay.
Kelsey third,
100
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,584
Sammy fourth,
Jackson pre-K.
101
00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:50,190
I, uh, I don't know
what you're saying to me.
102
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:52,192
I'm Marly. I'm the room parent
for this class.
Oh.
103
00:04:52,259 --> 00:04:55,095
So I will be, you
know, collecting for
holiday parties
104
00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:56,964
and hitting you up for
volunteer assignments.
Right, okay.
105
00:04:57,030 --> 00:05:01,201
Just basically being
your general pain
in the b-u-t-t.
106
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:03,937
I'll say.
And, um...
107
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:04,972
and I'm Lindsay.
108
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,340
I was room parent
last year,
109
00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,509
but my Sammy
just got ranked
in junior tennis,
110
00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:10,210
so I'm short
on time this year.
111
00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:11,712
Good for you.
112
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:13,914
You got "ranked
in tennis" in the
first sentence.
113
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:17,385
Well, he is.
He's ranked.
I can't help it.
114
00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:18,452
Anyway,
115
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,454
welcome
to Westbridge.
116
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:21,622
Thank you.
Now, we would say
117
00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,023
the best way to
get involved
118
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:24,858
would be by
volunteering...
Uh-huh.
119
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,460
...and spending as
much time at the
school as possible.
120
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:29,329
Right.
But, um, we hear
that you work.
121
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:33,333
I... uh... yes.
122
00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:34,167
Oh.
Oh.
123
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:35,369
What do you do?
124
00:05:35,436 --> 00:05:36,837
Um... ( clears throat )
125
00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:40,107
I own a gym.
It's, um, one in a chain
126
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:43,711
of women-only,
30-minute workout places.
127
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:45,646
Who would want
a 30-minute workout?
128
00:05:45,713 --> 00:05:47,881
What would I do
with the rest of my day?
129
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:50,684
Oh, there's
Richard's dad
130
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:53,721
so I'm going
to get out of here.
131
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:54,622
Okay.
132
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:57,425
Hey, little.
How's my third grader?
133
00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:59,126
I look like a dork
in this uniform.
134
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,628
Yeah, you kinda do.
135
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:01,862
No, no, no.
Richard!
136
00:06:01,929 --> 00:06:03,531
Don't say that.
That doesn't help me.
137
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:07,134
Sorry. Cool pants.
What are those, rayon?
138
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,538
Hi.
Hi. Hey.
139
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:11,772
Why are you so dressed up?
140
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:14,007
Why are you wearing
that sweatshirt?
141
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:15,242
It's my day off.
142
00:06:15,308 --> 00:06:17,711
Plus, I wanted everyone
to know I went to Lake Tahoe.
143
00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:22,683
Oh, no, presents?
144
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:25,085
We were supposed
to bring presents?
145
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:27,054
We didn't bring a present.
146
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:28,255
I'm sure
it doesn't matter.
147
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,890
Well, of course
it matters, Richard.
148
00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:33,226
He's new. I work.
We're divorced.
149
00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:34,895
They're already
looking at us
150
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:37,397
like we're the
project family the
church sent over.
151
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:41,802
All right, you know what?
Stay here. I'm gonna fix this.
152
00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:43,837
What are you gonna do?
I don't know.
I'll probably lie.
153
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,773
Don't ever lie.
154
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,878
Um, hi.
You must be
Mrs. Belt?
155
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:51,779
Yes.
156
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:54,081
Hi, I'm Christine Campbell.
157
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:55,849
I'm Richard Campbell's mom.
158
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:56,650
Oh, yes.
159
00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:57,918
CHRISTINE:
Yeah.
160
00:06:57,985 --> 00:07:02,623
Um, I have to apologize,
because your gift...
161
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:06,326
has been delayed.
162
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:07,327
Delayed?
163
00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:08,862
Well, yes.
164
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:12,232
Um, it's just that
it was, um... so big,
165
00:07:12,299 --> 00:07:15,068
that it had to be shipped.
166
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:17,137
And you should have heard
me scream
167
00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:18,639
at these people, because I...
168
00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:21,575
You know,
Mrs. Campbell?
Yes?
169
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:24,411
Parents lavish me
with all sorts
of presents,
170
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:28,115
and one thing
always seems to be true:
171
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:32,620
The nicer the present,
the meaner the child.
172
00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:36,524
God bless you, Mrs. Belt.
173
00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:38,826
Okay.
Excuse me.
174
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:39,660
Okay.
175
00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:41,128
All right, parents,
176
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:42,863
I need you to say good-bye
to your students now.
177
00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:46,667
It's time to start
the third grade.
178
00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:48,769
( whispers ):
Oh, God.
179
00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:52,139
I am so proud
of you already.
180
00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:54,141
I really am.
181
00:07:57,578 --> 00:07:59,046
Okay, come on, come on.
182
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,114
Bye, Mom.
Bye-bye. Have fun.
I love you.
183
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,315
You know what?
184
00:08:02,382 --> 00:08:04,552
I'm going to give you
one more little kiss.
185
00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:08,922
Okay, okay,
okay, okay.
186
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:10,524
Bye. I love you.
187
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,392
Bye.
Have fun. Have fun.
188
00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:14,528
Bye-bye.
I love you. I love you.
189
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:21,769
Oh, my God.
190
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,370
You want
to have breakfast?
191
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:24,538
I already ate.
Oh.
192
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:25,973
Stopped at Denny's.
193
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,108
Had their Moons Over My Hammy.
194
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,043
( laughs )
195
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:32,546
And I've got errands,
so I'll call you later.
196
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:33,647
Oh, okay.
Okay.
197
00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:35,215
Bye. See ya.
Bye.
198
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:43,356
Oh!
199
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:44,892
Your ex seems sweet.
200
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:46,860
How long has it been
since he divorced you?
201
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:50,263
Uh, going on two years.
202
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:51,331
But it was mutual.
203
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:52,900
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
204
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:56,036
And you know, I mean,
it's great, actually.
205
00:08:56,103 --> 00:08:57,938
We get along,
we spend time together
206
00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,640
as a family,
you know.
207
00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:01,541
It's better
than most people's marriages.
208
00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:03,043
Nothing's really changed.
209
00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:05,112
And where does
his girlfriend
fit into that?
210
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:06,814
Excuse me?
211
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,448
Yeah, we just met her
out in the parking lot.
212
00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:10,317
He had the poor thing
waiting in the car.
213
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:13,086
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
214
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,222
You did know he was
seeing someone,
didn't you?
215
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:20,293
Oh, yes, yes.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
216
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:21,995
Of course. Yes, I knew that.
217
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,997
Yes, that is something that...
218
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:28,135
I certainly did know of that.
219
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:29,737
Good, good.
220
00:09:29,803 --> 00:09:32,139
So, is it hard
that she's so young?
221
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:36,076
And of course,
she has to be
adorable, right?
222
00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:39,146
Well, what good is young
without adorable?
223
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,214
Yeah.
224
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:42,783
I would think
the weirdest part
225
00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,852
would be that her
name is Christine.
226
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,391
Say what?
227
00:09:51,458 --> 00:09:54,862
Yeah, I mean, it's kind
of like she's the
new Christine.
228
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,665
Which, I guess,
would make you
the, uh... old Christine.
229
00:09:57,731 --> 00:09:59,566
Ooh, yeah.
230
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:02,369
Old Christine.
231
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,672
Old Christine.
232
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:07,374
Oh, I would die.
233
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,538
Hey!
234
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:39,873
What the hell
are you doing?!
235
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:42,676
What am I doing?
What are you doing?
236
00:10:42,743 --> 00:10:46,413
Oh. Oh, yeah, oh, man.
237
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,181
Well, I guess you're meeting.
238
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:51,351
Um, Christine,
this is Christine.
239
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:52,686
Hi, Christine.
240
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:54,755
I know, same name.
241
00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:57,590
You can call me Chrissy
so it doesn't get confusing.
242
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,259
Yeah, thanks.
243
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:02,129
I probably won't get
confused about my own name.
244
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,931
I'm sorry you had
to meet like this.
245
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,333
Oh, you mean here, in front
of our son's new school,
246
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:08,068
where I'm trying to
make a good impression
247
00:11:08,135 --> 00:11:09,502
and not get kicked out
in the first week
248
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:13,406
because my ex is whoring
around in the parking lot
249
00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:14,607
in his Chevy?
250
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:15,943
Oh, no, no, no,
don't be silly.
251
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,111
This is an absolutely
ideal way to meet.
252
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,013
I'm also really sorry
about this.
253
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,581
I've heard
so much about you.
254
00:11:21,648 --> 00:11:23,483
I mean, Richard
just goes on and on
255
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:25,485
about what a great mom
you are.
256
00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:27,788
I don't care.
257
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:30,858
Richard, it would be so nice
258
00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:34,161
if once you would put our son's
needs ahead of your own.
259
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:36,329
Oh, like you?
Excuse me?
260
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,799
What in the living hell
is that supposed to mean?
261
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:39,967
I think this school
is a lot more
262
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,168
for the well-being
of your ego
263
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:42,669
than for little Richard's
future.
264
00:11:42,736 --> 00:11:44,171
What? What?!
265
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,572
I think this school
is a lot more for
266
00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:46,606
the well-being of your ego...
267
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:48,075
I heard you, Richard.
268
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:50,177
Look, I needed to move on.
269
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,512
I think it's time
for you to move on, too.
270
00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:57,885
For your information, Richard,
I have moved on.
271
00:11:57,951 --> 00:12:01,621
I have had a boyfriend now
forever-- Joe.
272
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:02,622
What's he do?
273
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:04,491
He's, uh...
274
00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:08,495
He's a lumberjack...
275
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,798
by trade.
276
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:13,500
And he has
brown hair...
277
00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:17,771
And he's rich.
278
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:21,508
He sounds great.
279
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:24,344
I have to go... now.
280
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,378
It was nice
to meet you.
281
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,848
I don't care.
282
00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:53,440
Damn it!
283
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,008
( sighs )
284
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:58,511
Am I getting fired?
285
00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:01,314
Not if you answer this question
correctly.
286
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:04,051
Do you think that I put Richard
287
00:13:04,117 --> 00:13:08,388
in Westbridge School for him
or for me?
288
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,323
For you.
289
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:11,959
No, no, for him!
290
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:13,827
Uh, for you?
291
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:17,697
Oh... I don't know.
This job is so hard.
292
00:13:17,764 --> 00:13:19,732
You hand out towels.
293
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:23,370
Oh, damn,
the towels.
294
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:34,047
Don't stop.
You've only got 30 minutes.
295
00:13:36,183 --> 00:13:38,518
Can I talk to you for a minute?
296
00:13:41,421 --> 00:13:42,589
What? What do you want?
297
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,257
Look, she had to wait
in the car this morning
298
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,525
because we had
a breakfast date,
299
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,060
but then you called
and I wanted to come
300
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:48,395
to little's
first day of school.
301
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:49,897
Yes, of course.
And...
Can I finish?
302
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,564
Can I finish?
But I just...
303
00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:53,433
But I just...
Can I finish?
304
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,702
And it was too late
to cancel plans
305
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:58,505
with new... young... my...
306
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:00,140
There's no good version.
307
00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:02,575
No.
308
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:05,845
I didn't want you to find
out about her like that.
309
00:14:05,913 --> 00:14:07,380
And the thing I said
about little's school
310
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,149
and your ego,
that wasn't fair.
311
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:11,584
I knew you're doing
what you think
is best for him.
312
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:14,888
I just... You sort of accused me
of being a bad dad.
313
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,856
Well... because...
314
00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:21,995
you were making out
in the parking lot!
315
00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:25,632
She started it.
316
00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:29,036
Christine thinks you're nice.
317
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:33,273
Nice? God, I did everything
but bite her.
318
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:37,010
Well, she's nice.
Maybe she got confused.
319
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:40,813
You okay?
320
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,049
Me? Oh, yeah.
321
00:14:42,115 --> 00:14:43,850
Are you kidding me?
I'm fine.
322
00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:47,754
You know.
I got my own guy, so...
323
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:51,591
The lumberjack.
324
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:52,592
Yeah.
325
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:55,262
Man, is he into me.
326
00:14:55,328 --> 00:15:00,133
I'll tell ya, when a lumberjack
loves ya, he loves ya.
327
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:04,972
What?
328
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:07,440
What?
329
00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:08,575
Yeah, okay,
330
00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:10,810
there's no lumberjack.
331
00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:12,312
Really?
332
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:14,948
Man, it's so hard
to tell when you're lying.
333
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:20,620
I haven't even considered
dating yet.
334
00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:23,356
I'm still wearing
my maternity underwear.
335
00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:26,626
You're kidding.
336
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:28,661
They're very comfortable.
337
00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:32,032
What are you waiting for,
Christine?
338
00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:34,334
Oh, wait.
What?
339
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:37,070
It's me.
340
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:41,641
I'm still in there, aren't I?
341
00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:46,013
Oh, my God!
342
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,948
Did you...
did you just say that?
343
00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:53,920
No, no. No, I mean,
I'm-I'm sorry.
344
00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:56,223
But no offense, but honey, no.
345
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,825
Seriously, the best thing
that I can say
346
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:00,160
about being married to you
347
00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:04,031
is that you are a fantastic
ex-husband.
348
00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:07,034
Baby, you got to let me go.
349
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,702
And... ( grunts )
350
00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:13,206
dating is such
a horrifying
thought, you know?
351
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:16,076
I mean, the small talk,
352
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:19,346
and the nudity.
353
00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:23,150
I have to stand on my head
to make my boobs look good.
354
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:28,155
Why do you have to fool around
with somebody so young?
355
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:30,057
It doesn't help me.
356
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:32,059
Kinda helps me.
357
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,093
Sorry. Sorry.
358
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,363
Sorry. But Christine,
359
00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:39,799
I'm not fooling around.
360
00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:42,635
I'm serious about her.
361
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,071
Oh, you're serious.
362
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:49,008
Well, that's...
363
00:16:49,076 --> 00:16:50,543
that's good.
364
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,448
Because I'm serious
with my boyfriend, too.
365
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:58,218
I thought we just established
you didn't have a boyfriend.
366
00:16:58,285 --> 00:16:59,786
Yeah, I'm back on him.
367
00:17:03,723 --> 00:17:05,758
Just for the record,
368
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:08,061
your boobs are fantastic
upright.
369
00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:10,130
You wish.
370
00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:13,066
I don't even know
what that means.
371
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,809
Richard, help her find
the door,
372
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,711
for God sakes!
373
00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:29,882
You know, I'm trying
really hard to be cool,
374
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:32,919
but it's hot in that car.
375
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:34,587
And I don't really get
what your relationship is,
376
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:36,623
because you kind of spend
a lot of time together
377
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,024
for divorced people.
378
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:39,259
I mean, my parents
were divorced,
379
00:17:39,326 --> 00:17:40,460
and the only way they
communicated
380
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:43,130
was by putting notes
in my lunchbox.
381
00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:46,266
So is there something going on
between you?
382
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:49,602
Oh, no, no.
There's nothing going on here.
383
00:17:49,669 --> 00:17:52,172
Oh, okay.
384
00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:54,541
Yeah, that's what I thought.
385
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,978
Uh, listen, I have to apologize
386
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:00,713
for my behavior
this morning.
387
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:02,449
I was very rude.
388
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,551
Oh, really?
I thought you
were nice.
389
00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:08,355
( mutters ):
Okay.
390
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,293
Well, I'm going to go...
I'll wait in the car.
391
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,504
Are we done here?
392
00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:27,674
Looks like.
( clears throat )
393
00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:31,578
So I'll see you
tomorrow at the
soccer game?
394
00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:32,812
I'll save you
a seat.
395
00:18:32,879 --> 00:18:34,581
Yeah.
396
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:38,117
What are those?
397
00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:40,153
Underwear.
398
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:42,355
For how many people?
399
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:47,627
Are you okay?
400
00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:48,895
Why?
401
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,831
Well, when I see
someone throwing out
their underwear,
402
00:18:51,898 --> 00:18:53,200
it's either a cry
for help
403
00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:57,237
or a desperate Valentine
for the garbage man.
404
00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:59,572
Is anyone going to want
to go out with me?
405
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,608
Are you kidding me?
You've got nothing
to worry about.
406
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,743
Oh, thanks, Matthew.
No, no.
407
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:06,179
Come on. We'll scare up
someone for you.
408
00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:09,982
Hey, you know my friend,
Ugly Larry?
409
00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:11,318
Is that that weird guy
410
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,386
who used to follow me around
in high school?
411
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,855
Yeah, he can call me.
412
00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:30,169
Ritchie, you don't have
to go to this school
413
00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:31,704
if you hate it.
414
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:36,008
I mean, I know
you miss Julian
and black people.
415
00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:38,811
And even though
I thought I was
really pushing
416
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:41,013
this whole private school
thing for you,
417
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:42,349
I might have actually
418
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:44,217
been sort of over-investing
in your life
419
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:45,952
so that I wouldn't have
to start my own,
420
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,254
which is
completely wrong.
421
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:48,388
It's not what a mom
is supposed to do.
422
00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:50,457
So if you really
do hate it...
423
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:53,025
Honey, Ritchie, Ritchie,
do you have any idea
424
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:54,494
what I'm talking about?
425
00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:56,596
PMS?
426
00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:59,632
No, not PMS.
427
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,368
I should never have
told you about PMS,
428
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,236
because now you think that's
the reason for everything.
429
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:05,372
It's not.
430
00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:07,840
Well, it's the reason
for a lot of things,
431
00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:10,510
but not everything.
432
00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:15,848
Honey, I'm trying
to tell you something.
433
00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:20,720
I'm trying to tell you
that I'm sorry, okay?
434
00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:25,124
And, um, you know, I'm just
doing the best I can here.
435
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:26,659
Okay.
436
00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:29,462
Okay.
437
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:37,437
I get to learn
an instrument.
438
00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:40,340
I'm picking
the saxophone.
439
00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:41,541
Riley picked
the trumpet,
440
00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:43,376
so we might
be a band.
441
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:45,378
Riley?
Who's Riley?
442
00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:46,713
My friend.
443
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:48,348
My other friends are Cole
and Jack.
444
00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:50,317
Friends? You have friends?
445
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:51,684
Yeah.
446
00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:55,254
Yeah? So, what else?
447
00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:57,089
Well, I thought I would be
behind in math.
448
00:20:57,156 --> 00:21:00,026
Right.
But they haven't even done
their sevens yet.
449
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,428
What?
450
00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:03,896
So Mrs. Belt let me write them
on the board.
451
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:05,465
She's nice.
452
00:21:05,532 --> 00:21:07,700
She is?
Yeah.
453
00:21:09,168 --> 00:21:11,371
So, honey, was it okay?
454
00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:12,405
I like it.
455
00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:14,574
( chuckles )
31433
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