Original subtitles

Previously on surrealestate.

Why does death bring out the worst in people?

- Dibs. - Jackass who planted this!

These cards are collector's items!

Megan is seeing a urologist.

- What's his name? - Hunter.

- Sorry to interrupt. - Everybody this is,

Tyler macneil.

There's something about this client I

I don't trust him.

Wait, so where's Luke?

Looks like he's still with Tyler.

It's not like Luke to forget.

To old friends.

Old friends.

I just don't see the point of keeping it a secret.

I just don't think it's anybody's business.

There's a for sale sign outside our house, Paul.

Don't you think our friends see we're not together anymore?

Right. The house.

We had so many plans for this place.

It's like leaving a painting unfinished.

- Do you remember when... - Paul... It's late and I can't.

Look, the agent said we could sell faster

if we just upped our curb appeal.

Why don't you take inside. I'll clean up out here.

You don't want to even be in the same house with me anymore?

It'll go faster if we stay out of each other's way.

You're the boss.

Goodnight, jan.

- Hey. - Hi.

I got showings all day today.

Are you still good to cover my clients tomorrow?

Yup.

Everything okay with your parents?

- Yeah. - I just think they need some help

at the funeral home. Well, they are getting older.

My dad just can't handle the bone saw like he used to.

I imagine that's hard on the joints.

Not if you sharpen it regularly.

- Good morning. - Hey!

Just the man I wanted to see.

August, as you know, we are thrilled to have you back.

How moving.

There is one small issue.

Our electricity bill is through the roof.

Well, these devices do draw considerable energy.

Could you maybe unplug them at the end of the night?

My equipment is precisely calibrated.

It cannot be turned off and on without a loss of efficacy.

Surely it's not substantial.

Well, it's...

Dear.

- I'm off to the lowry house. - Yech. Good luck.

I hate to see them having trouble.

You're talking to Paul lowry later?

Yeah. I am. Divide and conquer.

It's interesting how well love and war metaphors go together.

Who was it who said, "love is a battlefield"?

Sun tzu?

Pat benatar.

By the way, I ran into Shannon McConnell the other day.

She was asking about you.

- What'd you tell her? - Fine.

Busy. Unattached.

I didn't have the updated press kit so I kept it simple.

Shannon is a very nice lady.

- You should call her. - You should call somebody.

Ever since you and Megan split up,

you have done nothing but work.

We didn't split up!

In the parlance of our industry, she accepted a better offer.

We're still friends, you know. We drink, we laugh.

I'm just saying I think you should call Shannon.

Maybe I will.

- No you won't. - No, I won't.

I just.

I hate to see you waiting for something

that's not going to happen.

I'm not waiting for anything.

Okay.

We'll catch up on lowry-barett later.

Hey. Where did you come from?

Pretty, isn't it?

Sorry, didn't mean to startle.

- It's okay. - I just could've sworn

that wasn't here yesterday.

They don't just pop up for anyone. It must like you.

Believe me, I did nothing to deserve it.

I'm not a gardener.

Could've fooled me.

I'm Blake.

Jan. You live around here?

Yeah, pretty close.

Look, don't waste your money on that stuff.

Flowers need bone meal. They eat it right up.

Trust me.

I'll keep that in mind.

Enjoy the garden, jan.

It's as close to creating the world as we ever get.

Luke?

Yeah.

I'm curious about your new client, Mr. Macneil.

He's been commanding much of your attention lately.

That's putting it mildly.

I've jumped through hoops for a sale before, but wow.

- How much do you know about him? - Made his money

in retirement communities. Philanthropist.

He runs a solid six-minute mile.

Do you trust him?

Hasn't given me a reason not to.

Something on your mind?

Nothing I can quantify, nor defend, just a...

Disquieting feeling Mr. Macneil isn't all he appears.

A guy like Tyler, all that money, influence,

I'm sure there's a skeleton or two somewhere,

but some clients are just like houses.

You gotta take 'em as is.

Gotta pay those electricity bills somehow.

Touché.

Who's your friend?

Jus something that came in the mail.

Don't worry about macneil. I know what I'm doing.

Of course you do.

You'd be shocked at what a little landscaping can do

to build traffic.

And good for you doing it yourself.

Most people just hire out.

- I'd rather save the money. - Unknown future and all.

But, honestly, it's been a nice distraction from...

You know.

How are things between you and Paul?

Strange.

I mean, we used to be so, like, absorbed in each other.

Wherever we went it was jan and Paul,

like one entity.

I'm sure you've had relationships like that.

Sure.

Now it's just cold. And weird.

But the worst part is when I told him

I was having doubts he just kind of accepted it.

Felt disappointed.

You wanted him to fight for you.

Yeah. I know that sounds weird and manipulative

hey, there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel wanted.

Closest I've come lately was when this guy who ghosted me

for like a month finally texted back

because he needed a ride to the airport.

Did you do it?

I was available. The flight was nonrefundable.

But, look, you're going to be fine, jan.

There is somebody out there for you. I know it.

What the hell?

Hey! Hey.

You tracked mud all over the floor.

That wasn't me.

So, who else is trouncing through our house?

Paul, that wasn't me!

Well, the mess is on the inside

so I guess that means I have to clean it up.

'Cause that's the rule, right?

If it wasn't you, who was it?

Nessie, welcome home. Thanks for making the trip.

- Mom, you look great. - Thank you.

I'm assuming that's someone else's blood.

I was preparing the lamb.

Sorry to pull you from your big important high-paying job.

We've really been up against it

and lord knows your siblings can't be bothered to help.

No, it's okay. I've actually been looking forward to this.

Where can I start?

Bless you.

Downstairs and we've kept your old makeup kit.

Nobody contours a reconstructed eye socket like you.

You old sweet talker.

So, here it is.

The pictures don't do it justice.

No, they do not!

Houses in this neighborhood never come on the market.

You got that right.

One moment, please.

Please go check it out and I'll come find you.

Okay.

Rita.

Luke. Welcome to my listing.

Enjoy it, drink it in

and immerse yourself in the splendor

and then die just a little bit inside

because it's not yours.

It is quite a listing.

I look at you,

I look at this house and I feel a rush of emotions.

Elation because the sign outside has my face on it, not yours.

Pride because of the excellence of this house,

the prestige of the location,

the expansive scope of the master suite walk-in closet

featuring a rotating shoe salon.

And finally, a deep satisfaction grounded in the overwhelming

"I'm betterness" that it shines into a dark and uncaring

how many bathrooms?

- Six. - How'd you pick this place up?

I drive past it every week.

Luke... I don't ask you how you cast your spells,

or commune beyond the veil.

Or make your hair do that.

Please don't ask me to divulge my trade secrets.

Look upon my works and despair.

Hello.

You know the selling agent. That's good, right?

Yeah.

It's great.

Seems you're better at this than you thought.

I guess so.

They're perennials.

They grow back every year. Here.

Try this.

It won't bite you. I promise.

- Wow. - I know.

Yeah, perennials are my favorite.

They sit underground and wait.

Just biding their time, waiting for something magical

to come along and coax them out of the ground.

It's almost romantic.

You really know a lot about gardening?

It's a passion of mine.

Maybe you'll catch it.

Maybe.

Would you like some help with these beds?

Seems like a big job for one person.

No, I wouldn't want to put you to work.

It's not work for me.

Okay. Sure.

Still no music?

I like the silence.

Your mother made me a work playlist.

Lots of journey, some steely Dan.

Do you know how to get the ads to stop interrupting?

You have to pay for premium.

The hell with that.

Dinner's ready, by the way.

And...

We've got something we'd like to discuss with you.

You want me to take over the business?

We do.

We love this place but we're getting older

and we just can't keep up like we used to.

And it's relentless, day after day.

And regardless of what fredric march said,

death does not, in fact, take a holiday.

And you'd be so good at it.

I have a career, you know?

Sweetie, are you really happy

selling houses to frilly, rich, city people?

It... It's a bit more involved than that.

You know, if you don't take it, we'll have to sell

to one of those big death care conglomerates.

And we don't want this place to become

just another mcmortuary.

No, it should stay a family business.

Just say you'll think about it.

Okay. I will.

Wonderful. Walter,

tell Nessie where you found your wedding ring last month.

So here I was,

reassembling this poor guy who got pulled into

one of those big machines that cans tuna.

You can have the bedroom.

I could take the couch.

I'm good here.

Hey, jan?

The cds, you wanna donate them?

- Or, like, keep them? - Donate.

- Sure you don't wanna, like... - we can sort through them...

Not really.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Hey, you!

Hey! Shoot.

Did we have a walkthrough scheduled today?

We did.

Sorry, I totally lost track of time.

Well, everything looks amazing.

You are just a regular.

I don't know any famous gardeners.

- Ava gardner? - I can't take all the credit.

Blake's been really helpful.

Who's Blake?

Just a friendly neighbor.

He really knows flowers.

These purple ones are lovely.

They grew here on their own.

These all grew in a couple days?

Is that normal?

It's the bonemeal, I guess. Here.

Smell this.

- No, I'm sorry. I can't. - Allergies.

My face will blow up like a parade float.

I can't explain it.

It smells like joy.

Like... It grew from a happy memory someone planted.

I have to say, you do seem a lot happier.

Here. To brighten up your office.

I'll go clean up.

You seem distracted.

I don't know what to do next.

Well, after suturing, you usually move on

to setting the features.

I mean with my life.

Life. I remember that.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to rub it in.

My problem is

your parents want you to run the funeral home

and you're on the fence about it.

How did you guess?

I'm your subconscious, remember?

Subliminal coping mechanism to help you sort through

the thoughts that you can't share with the living.

Because of your trust issues.

Okay, one character flaw at a time, please.

Well, you seem happy here.

Maybe you should stay.

Maybe.

But I like roman/ireland, too.

How about a pros and cons list?

I'll take con. It seems,

thematically appropriate.

Okay. Hnh.

If I take over the home it would make my parents happy.

What if they can't let go and they get all micromanagey?

It might ruin your relationship with them in the long run.

- That's a good point. - I enjoy what I do.

And I'm good at it.

There's a stigma attached to the death industry.

People think you're weird. Remember middle school

and all those poorly attended sleepovers?

Yeah, and real estate agents

are all respected and revered.

Villagers lay down palm fronds as we pass.

Funeral homes are recession-proof! Big pro!

You say you don't care about money

and you just want to be happy and do something meaningful.

Is that your miss america speech or is it true?

Jury's still out.

Either way, at roman/ireland you help souls move on.

- That's worthwhile. - Well, I do that here, too.

I help people deal with death.

- Not theirs, of course. - Con:

You left for a reason. You wanted to do your own thing.

Pro.

Sometimes you have to leave to appreciate what you left.

- Luke! - Paul!

- Come on in. - Gardens look amazing!

Yeah, it's jan. She's totally obsessed.

It's so weird, like, she never liked flowers

and she was always, like, "give me something you can use."

People change.

Shouldn't some things stay the same forever?

I take it we're not talking about landscaping anymore.

Sorry, you're my real estate agent not my therapist.

You know, it's okay. Transitions are hard.

New houses, new lives.

I guess it just feels like she gave up on us.

Something just happened and I don't know what.

Or why.

She says she wants to stay friends,

but can you stay friends with someone that you love so much?

It's a good question.

I'll sign the forms for you.

If you need jan, she's just out there.

She isn't, actually.

Love this spot. It's so pretty.

It's pretty old. People used to come here a lot.

Couples, families.

They would just walk for hours just talking and laughing.

People don't really do that anymore.

It's a shame.

Their loss.

I have a confession to make, jan.

I planted those flowers in your garden.

- Why? - 'Cause you looked so sad and.

I wanted to make you feel better.

Who are you?

Um, I-I should go home.

Of course.

Thanks. For the walk.

Hey.

What do you know about flowers?

Well, I prefer donations to the charity

of the giver's choosing.

Well, these are growing all over my client's yard.

Maybe tag can look into them. Could you ask him for me?

I could.

But be prepared to listen to its history

from prehistoric spores

to its subversive role in the tulip mania of 1836.

He is thorough.

Everything okay?

I have a feeling I first felt

when my youngest daughter drove off alone

for the first time.

The feeling I'm less necessary then I once was.

What do you mean?

Tag handles the research, the science.

Luke seems to regard me as a luxury he cannot afford.

Augie, we still need you.

But to reach the sun,

new foliage must push aside the old growth.

It's just the way of things.

Anyway, I'll... I'll speak to tag.

Tell him it's just a vibe.

Something about it just feels... Off.

I can't even imagine you two retired.

What would you even do?

I don't know. Go on a cruise?

- Ew. - Well, a cultured cruise

with, you know, lectures and cheese carts.

No water slides, no DJs.

Water slides. The silent killer.

Well, it wouldn't matter, anyway.

We couldn't enjoy ourselves unless we knew

our business was being taken care of.

Okay, yeah.

Matt, is it? She's in a better place.

Although it's hard to improve on this neighbourhood.

Hello. Hi!

Rita, what are you doing here?

Lomax.

- Isn't it awful? - Struck down at such a young age.

You were friends with Jessica?

Yes.

Her name was bernice.

What is that?

What?

Rita weiss. Grieve today, move tomorrow.

You're handing these out?

For some occasions, the refrigerator magnet

just feels a little crass.

My god.

You're hearse chasing.

You are cozying up to these

poor bereaved people when they are their most vulnerable.

I call them dnds.

Desirable neighborhood deaths. And wouldn't you know it,

the widower in the corner is thinking of downsizing

from a five bedroom to a two.

And somewhere, a prospective home buyer

is eyeing that neighborhood and asking who has to die

for one of these houses to become available.

Apparently, it was Jessica.

- Bernice. - Whatever.

I have to admit.

I'm impressed.

Now get out.

Leaving.

You're sleeping out here now?

You can't even stand to be in the same house as me anymore?

It's not all about you, Paul.

You barely talk to me.

All you do is sleep and you work out here.

I mean, who are you?

Say something.

I'm just trying to remember why I loved you once.

Wow.

Okay.

Live your life, jan.

I'm done.

Your flower is really something.

Its genes point to South America.

Tag is looking into its origins further,

but that's not the curious part.

I found traces of human DNA within its genetic structure.

What does that mean?

I have no idea.

The specimen requires further analysis.

But suffice it to say

I've never seen anything like it.

Is it dangerous?

Well, difficult to predict.

A child picking daisies in a field

would tell you flowers are harmless.

But the fly ensnared in the Venus flytrap..

Paul?

Might disagree.

Luke. I'm afraid the seller and I

have accepted another offer.

That's too bad. My client's gonna be disappointed.

Well, as your client, he should get used to the feeling.

I heard how you've been getting your clients these days

selling to the freshly bereaved.

I gotta say, wow.

You just wish you thought of it first.

No, really, congratulations, Rita.

'Cause just when I thought you hit bottom,

you've managed to find a shovel.

For someone in your squirmy little niche of the business,

that's an awfully sanctimonious view

of death as a sales tool.

What I do is nothing like you.

Can you seriously tell me

that that maggoty carrion you're circling

is any cleaner than mine?

Those are two totally different things.

Keep telling yourself that, Luke.

And have fun selling your creepy, creaky old houses

that dripped blood on haunted hill.

You mean like 712 river walk?

What about it?

It's my listing.

Yeah, Tyler macneil and I, we sort of hit it off.

Luck is not a strategy!

Sorry, Rita, I gotta go.

I gotta go cruise the icu, find out whether or not

the do-not-resuscitate orders rent or own.

See ya.

Hi, Paul.

Hey, Susan, is jan with you?

She is not. Is everything okay?

I'm not sure. I can't find her anywhere

and she's not answering her phone.

Okay.

I'll let you know if I hear from her.

That'd be great. Thank you.

We need to speak.

It's a puya chilensis,

better known as the sheep-eater plant.

Sheep-eater?

Native to Chile, it's a large carnivorous plant.

Animals, most commonly sheep, are drawn in

by the scent of its purple flower,

then become entangled in its hooked spines.

Unable to escape, the animal starves to death,

then decomposes at the base of the plant,

nourishing it with its nutrients.

More than just a clever name.

That is not what's growing on jan's lawn.

- I was confused, too. - Then I found an old

local legend:

" Teme a la flor morada ." it says that one day

a poor farmer was walking in the woods

and got snared in a sheep-eater.

He died. It absorbed his body

blood, bone, brain matter

and then the plant began to change.

It learned to speak and lure in more humans to eat.

Then it would go dormant for six years

only to awaken and feed again.

The story reads as folklore,

which means it has a seed of truth.

Perhaps this organism is real.

It has been stalking us ever since.

Learning, evolving,

becoming more human with each kill.

- But it's-it's smart, right? - It only takes what it needs.

It emerges for one week every six years to feed,

which led me to this.

This woman went missing from the same area

as Susan's client's house almost six years ago exactly.

Jan mentioned she met someone recently.

A gardener.

- Teme a la flor morada. - What does that mean?

Fear the purple flower.

I don't know where she could be.

I haven't seen her since last night

but that doesn't mean she went off with some guy.

It may not be up to her.

They can be anywhere by now.

Do you have something of hers?

Something emotionally charged would be best.

Emotional?

Yeah, just a sec.

What is it, augie?

Just one of my devices.

Fully charged at an exorbitant price.

- Can it find jan? - That's my hope.

Her wedding ring?

That way.

Where are we going?

Almost there.

Just a bit further.

Must be 500 acres to cover.

- They came this way. - They?

No!

Jan? My god! My god!

My god! Jan! No, jan!

My god! No! Jan!

Jan. Can you hear me? Jan!

It's okay. It's okay. I'm here. You're safe.

Paul?

Yeah.

I knew you'd come. I'm so sorry.

No. I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry it got so far.

I'm so... I'm so sorry.

Guys, we should, we should get out of here.

Okay. Hey, can you get up? Come on.

You okay?

No!

Tú eres mi vida!

Mi alimento!

Stop!

No!!!

Let's get outta here.

Nice work.

Money well spent.

What if he comes back?

I wouldn't worry about it.

Well, I can't say I'm not disappointed.

Are you sure you wanna stay there?

You seem so happy here.

I love it here.

Coming back has been like putting on an old hoodie:

All warm and familiar.

It just doesn't quite fit anymore.

I've had to push myself at roman/ireland

and it's a good thing.

I actually enjoy working with people now.

Live people, the ones that actually talk back.

I even have a best friend for the first time ever.

Not that Rita person?

God no! She's the worst.

Look,

I will always be here for you.

I just...

Really like the person that I've become.

Well, it looks like our baby's grown up.

She's not a baby!

She's a real estate professional.

I still don't understand why it chose me.

It was a predator.

Probably saw you were in distress

and figured you'd be an easy target.

It was almost right.

It wasn't counting on you.

We crop dusted the whole yard.

We'll check in from time to time

to make sure nothing new sprouts up.

- So, what are you gonna do? - We're outta here.

Change of scenery. Fresh start.

Pick your cliché.

We've got a lot of lost time to make up.

That's great.

Seems some things are worth fighting for.

Hey.

I'm so sorry. Crazy day in the er.

Yeah, I bet they're all crazy.

Reaching out and pulling life from the abyss.

I guess there's this trend going around

where people toss fireworks in when someone's showering?

We are truly screwed as a species.

You know, the cockroaches, they're gonna take over.

They're gonna move in, figure out how to unlock doors

and they're going to operate our small appliances.

Well, hunter showed me on his phone.

I mean, the videos aren't not funny. Still.

Makes me nostalgic for when fireworks victims

only lost a finger.

Everything all right?

Yeah.

It's just I don't wanna do this anymore.

- What can't you do? - This.

Acting like pals, buddies.

Goofing around. Ignoring what we once had.

- What we had? - Yes.

You know, you.

Me, the wine, the pork chop. The thing! The love.

The love?

Yeah. The love!

I

I had no idea.

Maybe...

Once.

But not for a long time.

You know, I'm really happy that you found someone.

Except that I'm not.

I'm working really hard at being Mr. Well-adjusted

to this whole thing, but honestly?

I'm tired.

I don't wanna just be a friend! I don't want to be a good sport!

And hunter? Manderly? That's not a life partner!

That's the name of two adjacent homes

in a crappy new subdivision!

Who said hunter was a life partner?

Look, when I went away to school,

you didn't say a word!

You didn't say love.

You didn't even say stay! You said goodbye!

What was I supposed to say?

Don't go become a doctor! Don't follow your dreams!

No, stay here with me. Launder the sheets

so my clients have something to wear.

You could have fought for us a little.

Yeah.

I could have.

So, if we're not friends,

what the hell are we?

Well...

If you figure it out,

let me know.

You don't have to leave. I'll go.

Stay. This is your place way more than it's mine.

Just...