All language subtitles for Forbidden Love- The Unashamed Stories of Lesbian Lives (1)

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: Eߣ�B��B��B�B�B��matroskaB��B��S�g�M�t�M��S��I�fS��M��S��T�kS���M��S��S�kS��.�M��S��T�gS�����O�I�f@�*ױ�B@M��libebml v1.4.5 + libmatroska v1.7.1WA�mkvmerge v84.0 ('Sleeper') 64-bitD��ASH'�Da� �2j�dH{��Forbidden Love: The Unashamed Stories of Lesbian Livess��5���p=�:���f�T�k���ׁsň�� ��ʭQ������S_TEXT/UTF8"���en�DC�u��< �����♪ Fifties rock and roll music ♪���C�u@��Ӡ�����[ Radio announcer ]: And now, a pretty ballad����͡ǁ�that's climbing the charts, "Tell Laura I love her",�� C�u@��������a tragic tale of teenage love.��6�����y[ Switches to another station ]���������♪ Fifties ballad ♪��C�u��q4�����Honey, maybe it would be easier��6�����yfor Laura if she didn't see you again.�� C�u���0�����But I need to see her.�� C�u���)�����Laura?��X����� �[ Train whistle ]��ݠ�����I just had to come and say goodbye.�� �C�u��̴�����Bill drove me.���������[ Car door closing ]��zC�u���H�����Oh Meg, I thought you might be coming with me.�� m����� �No, I just had to...���C�u��렗���Come with me!���������Oh Meg, we could be so happy.�� mC�u��m�����[ Whispers ]: Please.���C�u��2�����Please...���������[ Conductor ]: All aboard!��6C�u��tQ�����[ Whispers ]: No...��������5No...���C�u���������[ Train whistle ]�� �����L♪ Music ♪�� �C�u��������♪ I was such a fool ♪��"C�u��`�����♪ to fall in love with you ♪��"C�u��6������♪ I was such a fool ♪���C�u��Jw�����♪ to think you'd love me too ♪��%�C�u��pC�����♪ 'cause suddenly something happened ♪���C�u���������♪ your love flickered and died ♪��C�u���ࠚ���♪ but mine ♪�� m����� �♪ mine kept right on burning ♪�� �C�u���������♪ then burst into a torch ♪��@������♪ impossible to hide ♪�� �C�u���Q�����♪ I was such a fool ♪��JC�u���ޠ����♪ to think that you were mine ♪��IC�u��j�����My mother was having a bit of a problem with me,��5�����Vyou know, my sexuality, and so...��WC�u�� Z�ʡāI remember once she writing me that she was reading these books��4�����wto understand me better;��AC�u��8U�����that was the worst kind of literature�� ����� Lshe could read, next to the Kinsey report.�� �C�u@��N}�����The books were displayed with the other books,�� 蠦��� +and you had to dig for them.����ơ���The only way to identify them was by pictures on the cover.�� bC�u��l�����As soon as I'd see a picture of two women,�� ����� VI'd say, this has to be one.��������?♪ Music ♪���C�u@���:�����[ Stephanie ]: And I used to take them baby-sitting.�� ������ When the people went out, I would sit and read�� *C�u@���������these lesbian novels when nobody was around.�� 5�ġ�� x[ Ann Bannon ]: There was a golden age of lesbian writing�� mC�u���נ����and publishing that came to pass�� L����� �in the fifties and sixties...�� �C�u���,�����And I think we suddenly reached out and connected�� b����� �with women who were very isolated���C�u��꣠����and sequestered, almost, in little towns�� ����� Lacross the country.��n������♪ Music ♪��5C�u�� �����I think that's one reason why paperback originals�� 5����� xwhich dealt with a lesbian theme��yC�u��K�����became so valuable to so many women.�� ������ �They were widely distributed and they said,�� �C�u��5R�����this is who some of your sisters are.�� ������ �[ Reva ]: I don't remember all the authors,�� �C�u@��Kz�ơ��I just remember all the books, and there were tons of them.�� 򠺡��5And they all had great covers-- very suggestive�� �C�u��f������and entrancing.���C�u���ޠʡāAnd the stories were all sort of like the romance novels today:��砦���)There was sort of a formula.��XC�u@����¡��Butch meets straight little femme and they fall in love���������and, of course, it had a tragic sort of ending.�� C�u��� �����It never-- rarely worked out to anybody's joy.���C�u���۠����Oh, well.��z������[ Bannon ]: I think women writing in the 50s and 60s��C�u@���������for the paperback houses in particular���������were often constrained by the kind of formula�� 蠮���that the publisher imposed on them.�� �C�u@��������Some kind of retribution was essential at the end�� ��á�� �so you could let them have a little fun in the meantime.��UC�u@��; �����And presumably, entertain the reader.��ݠ���� But it was not to go unpunished,�� �����lso at the end of a story like that,���C�u��W������one or both of the women had to die��ݠ���� or be essentially shipped out of the country,�� �C�u��mߠ����or undergo some calamity that would break her heart�������Vor break her spirit or end her life!��xC�u���S�����If there was one good thing�� ������ �that came out of gold medal books�� LC�u���������leaving me to my own devices,��B������it was that I didn't have to do that.�� +������My women survived.��6C�u��������They loved hard, and they lost hard,�� 6����� ybut they won a few, and they didn't die.��KC�u���p�����They'd find ways in the cover blurbs�� Ҡ���� to say "Must society reject me?"�� mC�u���5�����Or this kind of very obvious none-too-subtle clue.���C�u@�� 1�����They didn't want it subtle;�� �����cthey wanted people to know��ݠ�����they were buying something with a lesbian theme.�� nC�u��U������I liked "we too are drifting",����š��7and "the price of salt" was great because it ended happily���C�u��lР����instead of this miserable situation���������where the woman had to fall into somebody's arms.��WC�u���;�����You know, the old myth.�� �����MThe whole world is full of stupid myths about women.���C�u@���������"All you have to do is meet a good man,�� Ǡš�� and you'll be all right... You won't need women any more."�� C�u��������♪ Music ♪���C�u@����ɡÁWhen I first started writing, I would travel from Philadelphia���������where we were living up to New York by commuter train,�� �C�u@��񀠷���and beeline right down to Greenwich village,�� *����� mand sometimes I would spend long hours simply walking��C�u@�� C�����up and down the streets of the village�� y����� �to soak it up, make it mine,��頺����because I could only have these little moments.���C�u��,i�����It was never more than a week at a time.�� ������ �It mattered to me,��xC�u��B������and therefore it was imprinted on all my senses�� m����� �as something to take away with me and keep�� xC�u��\�����and use to mine it for my subsequent writing.��C�u@��q�����It left me with a sort of magic place in my mind���ɡÁ`and imagination, this Greenwich village in the 1950s, that i--���C�u@���x�ȡmy grandmother would have said it's a diamond in your pocket.��Šš��You carry that with you forever, and it feeds the stories.�� �C�u���Q�����♪ Music ♪�� V�š�� �[ Male ]: In the last 50 years, there's been�� +C�u@��ƚ�ǡ��a revolutionary change in the status of women.�� n����� �In most parts of the western world,��+�����women can vote, own property,���C�u���͠ϡɁand practise any profession within their capabilities.�� W����� �♪ Music ♪��>C�u�� �ءҁBeauty, however, is still one of the chief attributes of women.�������V♪ Music ♪�� �C�u�� &�ġ��The woman of today is trying to solve her problems��w������in the way of the 20th century.�� LC�u@�� 6o�á��Around her she sees modern household aids:�� Ơѡˁ Pressure cookers, freezers, tiny garbage disposal units,���C�u@�� P_�����lightweight irons, and a host more.�� ������ �And she wants them all... But for many,�� �C�u�� d �����the ideal kitchen is still only a dream.��C�u�� {砥���Whether it's careers��c������or cradles or both, the woman of today�� *C�u�� �������in every field of activity����ġ�� Awelcomes these new plans for better living.���C�u@�� � �աρAlthough she will never abandon her role as wife and mother,��a������she looks forward to a greater share���C�u�� �������in the world of today...��B������And tomorrow.���C�u�� ��ȡA world which can be an adventure in happiness!��a������♪ Music ♪��)C�u�� ������[ Reva ]: Well, actually,��������AI got married when I was just turned 21,��bC�u�� "z�����and I got involved with a friend,�� b�ơ�� �and she had come across all these wonderful lesbian novels,���C�u@�� <'�����and she said, "I'd like you to read this great book."���������And then she gave me one, and then another one,�� �C�u@�� Z�����by now I was sort of getting hooked on the stories,�� *�ʡā mand at some point she confessed, "Well, I think I'm like that."��4C�u@�� x䠺���I freaked out and said, "Oh no! Not like that!"�� ��Ρȁ �Whatever that was because it was all a new experience to me.��C�u�� ��ǡ��Eventually I sort of thought maybe I'm like that too.��砗���*♪ Music ♪�� KC�u�� �Π����Ultimately we got it together,��W������and I just left my husband and, uh...�� �C�u�� �|�����Sort of took on a new life.�� @����� �♪ Music ♪���C�u@�� �Ϡ����At one point we thought,���������all the lesbians obviously live in Greenwich village--�� �������at least the books said that--�� bC�u�� .�����so we decided we had to go and find the lesbians!��VC�u@�� Š����So I put on what I thought���������was my best butch clothing--���������'cause we thought they were all butch and femme.�� �C�u�� 8��¡��I put on my red blazer, a tie, a shirt, and dark pants.��x������And my lover wore a dress,���C�u@�� O+�����and off we went to Greenwich Village���������to look for the lesbians!��y����� �We asked taxi drivers and poked around�� �C�u�� i������and went in here and there,��������and we never found them!��A�����It was a real disappointment.��7C�u@� ~�����People thought we looked strange, they looked at us�� Ѡ����a little bit out of the corner of their eyes.�� *C�u�� �v�����We survived that venture,���������but that wasn't the lesbians that we were looking for.���C�u@�� �/�����They just weren't there, or we didn't recognize them�� ������ �'cause they weren't wearing butch and femme things.���C�u�� �򠝡��♪ Bongo drums ♪���C�u�� �Y�����I had my first affair when I was 13.�� W����� �I met a 20-year-old woman.���C�u�� �����I remember the day I met her,�� ������ �because I went to visit her aunt at her house,�� �C�u�� ������and I walked in the door and she looked me over.�� b����� �I said, "My name is Stephanie."��+C�u�� 4 �����She said, "Oh, what a lovely name."�� A����� bAnd we were off.�� ������It only lasted a few days,��LC�u�� LI�����but I knew what I was for sure then.�� ������ �I got through high school mostly by dating--�� �C�u�� gD�����subconsciously, actually-- gay men, gay young men.�� Ơ���� I liked to dance a lot,���C�u�� |@�����and I would find a young man who liked to dance too.��砩���)We would go to dances, movies.���C�u@�� �R�ǡ��There was no physical intimacy at all, so it was just great.��5�����xThey still thought, "Steph's in love with this guy."�� �C�u�� �Ǡ����I'd just go home��!�����cand laugh up my sleeve, but it got me past.�� �C�u�� �>�����♪ Rock music ♪��_C�u�� ˠá��I was going to sleep with this woman for the first time,��@������and she was much older than I...�� bC�u�� +򠡡��Oh gee, it was so good.�� ������And I had a good time, but when I came back home���C�u�� E~�����I decided to tell my mother what I did.�� Ҡ���� And boy, did I make a mistake.�� �C�u�� [d�����I mean, she beat the shit out of me.�� @����� �And it was like punishment.���C�u�� o������She locked me up in the room.�������WAnd I'm not lying, every hour she'd come in�� *C�u�� �������and slap me across the face, and call me a "dirty..."��w������Well, you see, the word is...�� �C�u�� �?�����Like a tortilla.�� �����MShe'd say, "You dirty tortillera."���C�u�� �0�����And I would cry.���������And I said, "Mother, but I love her."�� *C�u@�� ϧ�����"No, you don't love a woman, you love a man."��K�¡���And I said, "I'm sorry, I love a woman, and that's it."���C�u�� ������[ Bird calling ]��C�u��> �����[ Keeley ]: I was born in northern Alberta�� 6����� yabout 60 miles from Dawson creek, up in the bush.�� �C�u@��WV�����We did most of our farming and travelling with horses.�� Р����My parents came from Europe, and settled in there,�� �C�u@��r������and that country opened up in '38.�� 6����� yThat's where I grew up��������wand became the beautiful person I am today.�� C�u���V�����[ She laughs ]���C�u@��������Yeah, well, I always had this attraction for women.��w������And I had this dream about this teacher when I was 14.���C�u���Ҡġ��I went to school, and she was teaching there, she was 19.���������And she was at this local picnic�� �C�u��� ����and all the boys were hanging around�� �ơ�� W'cause she looked like the Breck shampoo girl or something.���C�u@��������And I was hanging around, adoring her.����ǡ���Then when I went home that night I was sleeping and I dreamt���C�u��&�����that I was sitting in this field full of flowers.��@������They were all purplish-blue flowers.�� C�u��1�����I saw this figure coming at a distance.�� ܠ���� And she had this big picture hat on��xC�u��Kڠ����and this gauzy dress��m�š���with the same pattern of flowers as I was surrounded with.��aC�u��e렳���And then as she came near me I looked up�� +����� mand she stooped over and kissed my forehead.�� �C�u��}a�����And I looked up and it was her.�� m����� �And then afterwards, I was going to school there,���C�u���0�����and she was the teacher--�� b����� bshe was teaching correspondence or something--�� �C�u���������and we started having this affair,�� b����� �but we weren't very discreet about it.�� mC�u@��������We were, you know, carrying on in the school�� L�ǡ�� �and the kids were all running around peeking in the windows.��xC�u@���O�����You know, ultimately, she had to leave the school.���������And that was a fairly abrupt ending to the affair.��UC�u�� h�����♪ Romantic music ♪���C�u@��������[ Jeanne ]: I would get these violent crushes,�� ������ �and always on girls.��Ǡ����And I didn't particularly wonder about it.��kC�u��F\�����But I recall when I was 15 or 16�� L����� �taking a book out of the library�� 6C�u��_蠵���it was called "Serenade" by James M. Cain.�� 6����� �I thought it was about music,��6C�u@��t�����which is what attracted me to it,��6�����ybut when I got it home��+������it was the story of a male homosexual.�� mC�u���Ԡ����I thought, gee, both sexes... And I was surprised.���C�u���Ϡ����My first real relationship was when I was 22,��`C�u���r�����which would be 1946.�� ������ And I met her through a friend���C�u��ك�����who worked at the same office I did.�� Ҡ���� 6And it was just... dynamite;��C�u��������it was like being run over by a ten-ton truck.���������♪ Music ♪��cC�u�� ������We used to go to movies and neck and hold hands.��a������We'd write a love letter every night,�� �C�u��%������and we'd meet in restaurants���������and we'd be staring into each other's eyes.�� mC�u��:࠲���I mean, why would we hide it, you know?���������We couldn't have anyway... It was too strong.�� C�u��V?�����♪ Piano music ♪���������We used to rent a booth at Heintzman's--�� �C�u��i���it was 25 cents an hour--�� 򠧡�� Wand she would play the piano.���C�u��~"�����So we'd get a bottle of rye and we'd head over���������to Heintzman's and have music and drinks,�� C�u@��������and we enjoyed that.�������X♪ Piano music ♪��ݠ����xWe had a wonderful relationship for about a year,��)C�u��������but she had to leave to go to college in the states���������because she couldn'T get in to U of T�� C�u��������and she wanted to study medicine.�� A�ơ�� �So she left, and that was when I really sort of came apart.��C�u@��ߠ����And in those days there was no one to talk to,��a������no one to tell it to, because it was such a no-no.���C�u��9m�����I was born on the ocean,��y������and that was between Hydequy and the mainland,�� �C�u��P�����up north of British Columbia.��ޠš�� One of the things I remember growing up back home was that��VC�u��jӠ����every school year, my father fought for me�� ������ �not to be sent away to a residential school��5C�u���=�����by law at that time���������all native children had to be taken from the reserve�� �C�u@���D�����and put into a residential school.�� �����MSo I talked with my dad�� ������and he gave me some options to choose from.���C�u@���������The choices he gave me was��X������work in a cannery the rest of my life�� m�����Kthe way my mom and grandmothers did.�� bC�u��Ԉ�����But I recognized I would become crippled like them.�� 砳��� *Or scrub and sweep the white man's home.�� xC�u���m�����Those were not things I wanted to do,�� 蠿��� *or stay home and have kids, like everyone else here.���C�u@��������Or go to the white man's school and go there.���¡��VBut that choice meant that I had to separate from them.��VC�u��#������When I came to this society��n������I saw that women had to take the men's name�� KC�u��8à����and the men ruled everything.��Ҡ����I didn't want a relationship with someone like that.�� *C�u@��N�����With a woman you wouldn't have that-- so I thought.�� ������So when I eventually got my bachelor of education���C�u��oĠ����and got a job on Vancouver island,�� *����� mwhat had happened was that�� �C�u@��� �����the parents of white heritage��Ҡ����came and took their children out of school�� Ѡ����)because I was the first native person�� AC�u���������to have taught in a mainstream school.�� m����� �The other hard part was coming home�� �C�u���s�����to where I was living,�� �¡��Land they would break my windows and throw shit into it.��C�u@��� �����This had gone on for six months when I finally broke�� �����5and said, "This is too hard. This is not what I want."�� nC�u���'�����I said, "To hell with it, I'll go with it, I'm bad."�� Ѡ����And I was really good bad.���C�u�� �����I was smart, so I was bad bad.���������And that's how I ended up going onto the streets.���C�u��!��ġ��People have asked me if I believe in love at first sight,�� Ѡ����and I certainly do.���C�u��6������It seems ridiculous, an old woman talking about love�� ������ �when you're 22,���C�u��J������or whatever it was.�� �����c♪ Music ♪�� C�u@��^I�����Walter was overseas by this time, an infantry officer.�� l����� �I had one two-year-old.��7�����)I was a high school teacher�� C�u��x������and I went back to summer school.��ݠ���� And I'd noticed there was a woman teacher�� C�u@���)�����teaching some of the summer school classes.�� x�̡Ɓ �And she handed these things out, and as she handed a paper to me,���C�u���������some assignment or other,��z������she looked at me and I looked at her, and wham!�� �C�u���b�����That was it.��������6We went through all this summer at summer school,��C�u���������and we were sleeping together,�������Xwe were hugging, we were doing everything,�� �C�u��񑠶���except anything really too close, intimate.��Š����We didn't get to that.���C�u�� ��¡��I don't know how many details you want me to go into...���C�u��$#�����Anyway... this is what I mean, the details.���C�u��:*�����At that point, we sort of knew.�� 6����� �We talked about it; Neither of us knew what to do.���C�u@��W⠳���We were so stupid, it's hard to believe.�� 5�ǡ�� xWe spent two or three days at this lake in British Columbia,��C�u��w��ơ��necking like absolute mad but still didn't know what to do.��C�u���&�����This seems so silly...��Ҡ�����Finally, she was going back on the train to Jasper,���C�u��������and I said, "This is just unfinished business.�� +����� nI'm going with you to Jasper."�� C�u@���堼���So I left my little boy in charge of someone else�� *�̡Ɓ mand I went with her-- just drove on the train to Jasper and back.���C�u@���p�����And on the train, that's when things happened.�� ��ɡÁ �She started by making love to me and I couldn't understand it.���C�u@���=�����All these crushes I'd had on women--��Ҡ����all of a sudden there's a light.��+�ġ���This is what's wrong with me. There's nothing the matter.�� xC�u@��{�����I just like women more than men!��c������It was great... I was delighted.�� L�����That was my reaction. I was absolutely delighted.�� �C�u��4I�����She said to me, "Boy, were you inhibited."��ܠ����And I said, "Oh, well, was I?���C�u��Lf�����Would you like me to do that to you?"�� ������ �She said yes, and started crying.��nC�u��_󠤡��So I did, and that was it.�� b�ɡÁ�[ Carol ]: In the late forties, when I was much, much younger,��)C�u���F�����I met a lot of...�� �����cVery nice gay people, both men and women.���C�u���砰���We took the boat, and the island boat��砯���*at that time went around the islands�� xC�u���̠����and ended up at Hanlans point.�� ������ �And we would arrive... Very posh, very beautiful.���C�u���蠭���The beautiful people on the beach.�� C�u��񫠝���We used to all meet�� m����� �at a place called the candlelight cafe.�� �C�u��7�����Everybody met there on a Sunday.�� 蠬��� +We wore whites and yachting caps,��wC�u��$�ˡŁand we had large picnic baskets with all sorts of stuff in them.���C�u��9࠺���Smoked oysters, you name it, we had them all...���������Wine... blankets.���C�u��N������And we'd head for Hanlans point,�� ����� awhich was the gay section of the beach.��WC�u��i������♪ Lounge music ♪��C�u�������The very elegant part of Toronto�� ����� Wspanned from Letros, to the king Edward,�� *C�u���������to Melanie's...�� 5������All very posh bars.��mC�u��� �����You dressed to go there,�� ������ �you did not go without a man... You couldn't go�� �C�u���4�����to the king Edward to the mezzanine floor��������@in pants, in slacks.���C�u��擠����You dressed, and you dressed well.�� Ѡ���� �And you went with one good-looking fellow.�� �C�u�����á��What he did in the men's room was none of your business,���������but they made good escorts.���C�u��1�����They were charming, they were good-looking,�������Vand you got everywhere you wanted to go.��C�u��6ݠ����♪ Lounge music ♪��C�u@�����¡��[ Narrator ]: Laura's heart was pounding.��B�š��cShe'd heard these places could be dangerous,�� ��ӡ́�but her need to be with other women like her, like "that",���C�u��̟�����was stronger than her fear.��ޠɡÁ Well, she was here, and she might as well go in.��C�u��� �����She'd just have one drink.�� 򠮡�� 5♪ Fifties rock and roll music ♪���C�u��H+�����Mitch just bought you a grasshopper, honey.�� �C�u��^�����Oh...������� You're new in town.�� �����VAh... yes.��MC�u��v������How did you know?��A������Oh, you get a sixth sense working here.�� �C�u���>�����♪ Fifties ballad ♪���C�u��������♪ why must I meet you in a secret rendezvous ♪��jC�u��:�����♪ why must we steal away to steal a kiss or two ♪���C�u��:�����You're new in town...�� ������Yes, I...���C�u��_�����Thanks for the drink.�� m����� �It's my favourite.���������[ Chuckles ]��MC�u��t�����I thought so.������� KDo you mind if I join you?�� �C�u���������What's your name?�� A����� �Laura.��+����� �Hi, Laura, I'm Mitch.���C�u���z�����Yes, I know. She told me.��󠘡��6I bet she did.��������Where are you from, Laura?���C�u���������Oh, nowhere.��頣���,Ah, I've been there too.�������� mYou have?��BC�u��ؑ�����So listen, do you want to dance?�� Ҡ���� Oh, um, no... Sorry, thank you.���C�u���砚���Maybe next time.���������Wait...��y����� �[ Narrator ]: Laura just had to escape.���C�u@����͡ǁShe liked Mitch, but everything was moving too fast.�� ��Ρȁ �And yet, if she left now, would there be a next time?��*C�u��������♪ Fifties ballad ♪��QC�u��H�����The first time that I was ever in a gay bar I was 19.���C�u��e�����My ex-husband had gone off to Whitehorse�� m����� �to play in a band for about three months.�� bC�u��y������I was about seven and a half months pregnant.�� K����� �Well, the age limit to drink�� �C�u@��� �����was 21 at that time,��y������so I was nervous about being underage,�� A������but she said, "You're pregnant, nobody'll know.���C�u���������You look old enough to drink."��W������If you're old enough to be pregnant, you can drink.�� �C�u���.�����So in we went, and I was really nervous and scared.�� x����� �I was looking around at all these gay women.�� �C�u��؎�����Like, I'd always been intrigued by it.�� ����� 5I just... you know, it was really fascinating for me.��5C�u���;�ǡ��So we sat down and I saw this woman sitting across the room,��_C�u�� ݠ����and I couldn't take my eyes off her�� x����� �because she was so unique looking.���C�u��������She had this short red hair���������and had this little black jacket and white shirt on,�� �C�u��5�ˡŁwith a little hanky sticking out and black patent leather boots.���C�u��J5�����She was really attractive.��n������She was about 20 years old, I guess,�� �C�u��]䠭���and just young and vibrant, and...�� ����� KSo I thought about her for a long, long time,��aC�u��zӠ����and that song "Shangri-la"�� ����� cwas playing at the time on the jukebox.�� @C�u���������And every time I heard that song after that�� ������ �I always thought about this woman.�� AC�u��������So, when I finally came out into the gay scene��x������I asked my sister, who is gay, about this woman.�� mC�u���������And she thought it was this woman, gave me her name,��w������and said, "She'll be at the club tonight."��XC�u���1�����And sure enough, it was her.��n������So, it was my three-year fantasy come true.�� �C�u@��������[ Steph ]: I used to go to all the bars�� n����� �up and down Granville street��頰����'cause I didn't know where they were,�� �C�u��#������and I would go into bars and peer around,�� Ҡ���� Ware they in here, are they in here?�� C�u��9a�����Finally, through a male customer�� n����� �who was accusing me of being a dyke,�� �C�u@��N㠭���said, "You ought to go down there,�� �����cthat's where you belong."��L����� �He told me about the new fountain.�� AC�u��fY�����♪ Music ♪�� ����� KAnd it was a choice area.�� C�u��~������It was on Cordova St. where gastown is now,�� b����� �but then it was drunks and drug addicts.�� WC�u���9�����It was really "skid row",��M�ơ���and I was really scared... But I went down there by myself,��lC�u���w�����this fresh-faced punk kid from Victoria�� y����� �who knew from nothing,���C�u���R�����and just waltzed in the door.�� ������ �And it was incredible.��WC�u��������[ Amanda ]: I knew nothing about skid row.�� c����� �All I knew, it was home to me, just like home.�� �C�u@���������There were native people around, people were drinking.��)������That was normal for me, I felt comfortable.�� C�u��������And I heard someone say,�� Ǡơ�� "There's a club down there, that's where all the women go."��WC�u@��+(�����And I went, "I'll check this out here."��ݠ���� That's how I found the vanport.���������But it also scared the shit out of me too.�� xC�u@��Gՠ����It was filthy; It was in an old, old building.�� 砿��� *It's not there any more; It's been gone a long time.���C�u@��c������But it was cockroaches running around on the walls,��������@your feet stuck to whatever fell on the floor.��C�u���P�ǡ��If you dropped a cigarette, you didn't bother picking it up.���������I don't think they ever changed�� WC�u���������the little Terry towel covers on the tables.�������VPeople would pull the little threads out�� �C�u@��������and set them on fire!��+�����nIt really was a dive, but it was fun.�� b�����4[ Keeley ]: The Vanport wasn't exclusively a gay bar,��lC�u���񠡡��it just tolerated gays.�������� Everybody's money was good.��yC�u��񪠺���There was drug addicts, there was drug dealers,�� m����� �there were hookers, there were housewives,�� WC�u@�� �ǡ��there were all these butchy women who drove trucks and taxis���������and everything they could do that was unfeminine.�� �C�u�� (%�����♪ Lounge music ♪��y������[ Nairobi ]: Let me tell you something.���������When I came to Montreal,���C�u�� > �����the word they say here in English is�� Ơ���� "freak out".��M������[ Car horn ]���C�u�� Tv�����I went to my first gay bar...�� ����� b"Babyface".�� C�u�� o.�����I walk in the bar-- I'd just finished my show,���������dress and all, makeup and everything.�� C�u�� �������I walk in,�� �����Mand, bingo, I see all these women�� ������and I freak out again.�� C�u�� ������That's what they say in English-- you freak out.�� ������ �And I say, "Whoo, women, women, women!"�� �C�u�� �������♪ Slow dancing music ♪��=C�u��!(Ƞ����You just glimpse across the room���á��5and you see somebody and say, "Mmm, that's what I want."�� lC�u@��!G������And you send them a drink.��+�����nThen the flower lady walks in,�� ������Vand you buy her a flower, a Rose.�� C�u��!fM�����And she gets it, she gets the message.�� W����� �She looks around, and they point��C�u��!z>�����and say, "That's the one that sent it."�� 󠽡�� 6If she was interested, she'd go and say thank you,��VC�u@��!� �����would you like to dance?���������Now, that was beautiful,���������because everybody just got together that way.���C�u��!������[ Jeanne ]: It was somewhere in the area of 1951�� 砪��� Kwhen we found the first gay bar�� �C�u��!܅�����in Toronto.�� ����� We'd asked some, I think they were hookers,��KC�u��!�'�����on Yonge street in a restaurant,�� ������ �and they directed us to the Rideau,�� nC�u��" ʠ����which was at Jarvis and Gerrard--�� ������ �a very tough spot.�� C�u��"#�����And it was kind of novel�� 蠱��� +because they had a bar for women only,��wC�u��">������not women and escorts, but women only.�� ����� bSo that the gay women in Toronto�� LC�u@�"Uݠ����had chosen that place to have their drinks.�� ������ �I think that only went for a year or two, the Rideau,��lC�u��"t�¡��because they changed it and made it ladies and escorts,��)�����land it was just too wicked down there.�� �C�u��"������So all the ladies moved over to the continental hotel���������at Dundas and Elizabeth.�� �C�u@�"�������And there was a back room in the continental,�� K����� �and that's where most of the gay women congregated.���C�u@��"�꠲���[ Amanda ]: When I went to the Vanport,��󠴡��6my fantasy was that this would be a place�� A������where there's women with women.���C�u��#������I went in and saw there were certain women,�� n����� �but I couldn't find the other women.�� �C�u��#-�����The women they were supposed to be with�� W����� �didn't look like women, they looked like men.�� �C�u��#D蠹���So I was very confused about that whole thing.�� ܠ���� And on top of that, it was really hurtful too,��5C�u��#_�����because everybody was either drunk out of their mind�� K����� �or stoned out of their mind.���C�u��#u�á��And what I was trying to run away from was exactly this,��Š����it was just like back home.��AC�u@��#�v�����And I realized it was not what I wanted.�� ������ �But I was still so confused;��Ҡ�����how come they look like men?���C�u@��#�.�¡��If you're gonna lead a double life, lead a double life.��m������I had to dress nicely all my life at work.�� cC�u��#�������So I dressed in black pants, a black cowboy shirt,�������Wsometimes cowboy boots, black,��C�u��#�R�����and a big thick belt around my waist,�� ������ �with a knife on it; When it became illegal�� �C�u@��#�ߠ����to have a five-inch knife,���������I wore a three-inch knife, and so on.�� �������The butches were really butch, some of them,�� �C�u@��$ ��á��totally butch and so aware of it, and swaggering around.��������`So we'd wait and go over at one point and say,�� WC�u��$(z�ǡ��"Listen, are you butch or femme? We're looking for a femme."�� ������ �They would just hit the roof:��6C�u��$>Ġ����"What do you mean, am I butch or femme? I'm butch!"��۠����And we'd think this was funny.�� �C�u��$_�����They had big tattoos...�� *����� �And men's ties and they had on big jackets��C�u��$�S�����and I don't know how to explain,�� ݠ���� but they had their feet up on the chair�� �C�u@��$�D�����and they're just, you know, like...��󠨡��W"Voulez-vous danser avec moi?"�� n�����And you kind of like, "Ahem, I beg your pardon?"���C�u��$�^�����Like, you know...��ޠ����!But they were gentle, they were sweet,��C�u��$�,�����they had passion, they had... everything.��򠯡��5Wild bill came from Fergus, Ontario.�� C�u@��$�àơ��She was one of the craziest Scots I've ever met in my life.����ġ���That lady worked as a man on a farm for many, many years.��?C�u��%�����And you simply couldn't tell the difference.��m������She had a slight altercation�� �C�u��%;⠮���with a friend who she did not like,�� 5����� xand one day she drove her motorcycle��5C�u��%UҠ����straight into the back door of the continental��Р����and straight up to the table.�� �C�u��%q�����It was lovely!���ơ��WFemmes were expected to act like "femmes fatales", I guess,���C�u��%�������you know, you were...����ơ��!You never opened your car doors or lit your own cigarettes,��`C�u@�%�������and you never had to buy your own beer.�� ��ġ�� �You could go out with a dollar and go home with a dollar!���C�u@��%�8�����Beer was only ten cents a glass then, too,�� 蠱��� +so you could get drunk on two dollars.��������I thought, "I don't know what to do here.�� �C�u@��%������"I don't feel like a butch who could pick up a femme.��a������And I'm no femme, no butch will pick me up."�� �C�u��%�8�����And so I sat there, really isolated,�� +�š�� nand finally, I seemed to get a bit chummy with both sides,��C�u@��&������but never really involved with either side.�� ҠɡÁ WAnd I went away thinking, after many attempts and going there,��KC�u��&2࠯���that maybe I had to choose something�� 5����� xso I could be part of this picture.�� 6C�u@��&IР����I thought, "Maybe I'll become a butch,"���������because according to those stories,���������the femmes did all the work.���C�u��&`]�����They had jobs and cooked and cleaned,�������� Aand butches just had to be cool and wear pants.�� �C�u@��&w������I would say there was at least a ratio of ten to one,��5�����xbutches to femmes, so it was really territorial.�� lC�u��&�ؠ����They would protect their territory�� L�á�� �and heaven forbid any other butch would cross that line.��C�u��&�Ƞ����And it was like...�� ������ �Well, like animals, almost...�� �C�u��&�à����Like how lions defend their mates and that.�� K����� �It was that fierce.��XC�u��&�렬���I used to flirt a lot and I had--�� b����� �I got away with it a lot because...�� �C�u��&�������Well, everybody thought it was cute�� L����� �and that's how you were expected to act.�� �C�u��'&�ǡ��There's been a few butches that have little fights, I guess.��kC�u��'"Ԡ����Oh, there were fights all the time.�� x����� �It was most exciting.���C�u��'6������But if you're leading a double life,�� A����� �why go to a nice friendly tea party�� C�u��'MR�ġ��when you're not doing whatever you do in your daily life?��U������Why not really lead a double life?�� +C�u@��'iW�����That place meant you led a double life indeed!�� *����� mWe always sat with our coats on, our back to the wall,���C�u��'�������so we could get out in a hurry if necessary.�� 󠚡��5Oh, that's a s--�� C�u��'�!�����we'd been to the royal Alex, to the ballet,��UC�u��'�������and I was wearing a white knitted suit,��5�����wthe whole bit, pearls, earrings.�� �C�u��'� �����And I was accosted, and I retaliated.�� ������ �I ruined my suit, I nearly lost my earrings,���C�u��'�>�����but I won the fight.��L������Did I fight?��Ҡ�����No, I yelled a lot, I didn't fight.�� �C�u��( ������I only fought with dawn,��頳���+but I didn't get into the public brawls.��C�u@��(!@�¡��I just stood back and egged on whoever I wanted to win.�� Ѡ����It was great!��������And we'd all scatter to the sides of the bar.��xC�u��(C�����"Come on, go!" Till the police came.�� KC�u��(xQ�����We saw this red light come on,�� l����� �and bingo, it meant... danger.���C�u��(������What is this danger? The police is coming.�� ������ �So... it means take cover.�� mC�u@��(�������So what do you do? You sit there.�� Ѡ���� And I said, "Oh my god,�������J"I am just a working person that came to this country,���C�u@��(������"I have a contract for working, a working permit.�� ������ �"But if I get arrested, they're gonna throw me out.���C�u��(������I'm in a lesbian club."�������W[ Police siren ]���C�u��)0�����[ Police siren ]��󠚡��5[ Police radio ]��kC�u��)Nڠ����The police they come in,��������6and they have a flashlight and they go around like...�� �C�u@��)eE�����"Don't move, hands on the table!�� c����� �Empty your pockets!"��A�ơ��*And I am like, stand still, don't move, hands on the table.���C�u��)�w�����And, you know, I said, "Oh, Jesus."�� ܠ���� [ Female ]: Get your hands off of her!���C�u��)�q�����Lay off!�� C�u��)�������[ Policeman ]: I know what you need, girlie.�� x����� �[ Female ]: Let go!�� C�u��)�������[ Policeman ]: Lezzies! Queers!�� ������ �[ Female ]: Let her go!�� C�u��)�������[ Policeman ]: Come on, girlie, get in the car.��VC�u��*.�����[ Police siren ]���C�u��*C������This one big cop,��c�á���his wife had run off with another woman, and he was mad.��KC�u��*Z��á��And he was mad at all of us, he didn't care who we were.���C�u��*nŠ����[ Policemen's boots against pavement ]���C�u��*�������And he would harass us and follow us into the street,��x������and come up to us and say,���C�u@��*���ɡÁ"I want your name and address, and I'm keeping it in my book."��x������He had a book with everybody's name and address.�� *C�u��*�堷���He said, "I don't care if you're jaywalking,�� ����� LI'm gonna nail you if I ever catch you."�� �C�u@��*������And he went after Clara one night.�� ������ �And she was mad!��y������This woman weighed 275 lbs., was about 5 foot 7,��wC�u��*�J�����and it took seven cops to put her in the bun wagon��@�����@he had to bring six of his friends�� �C�u��+������'cause she was scrapping.��x������[ Carol ]: You had to take the good with the bad,�� KC�u��+"栩���i.e.., if it was kind of dirty,�� ������ �if it was kind of mixed people,�� �C�u��+9������you took it because it was all you had,�� ܠ���� and if you didn't go there you had nowhere to go.�� *C�u��+S������♪ Trumpet ♪���C�u��+p������Well, at that time,�� �¡�� bit was illegal to have a house party with only one sex.���C�u��+�������So you at least had to have two women.�� 򠴡�� 5Now, you could have 45 men and two women.�� C�u@��+�������And as long as the women were discreet�� Ѡ���� and could sit in the library,��L�ġ���and let the boys do what they liked, and answer the door,�� mC�u@��+�󠟡��there was no problem.��ݠ���� - What happened if there weren't women there?�� L������- They would raid it.���C�u��+堠����They would absolutely raid it.���������They would level it, the police.�� �C�u��,Ǡ����It was well known that the Toronto police�� ������ �got their kicks from picking up women�� C�u@��,�����taking them out to cherry beach.���������Some were raped, some were badly beaten up.�� 6�����lAnd they just left them there.��+C�u@��,2ꠧ���I guess they got away with it���������because who cared about gay women?��n������Gay women couldn't complain.�� C�u��,MĠ����There was nobody to complain to.�� A����� �If you went to court you didn't exist!�� xC�u��,o"�����I never could come out while I was teaching�� 󠮡�� 5because it was right in my contract�� cC�u��,�������that I could be fired on a Tuesday at 10 o'clock.��񠥡��4Well, you know what I mean.�� bC�u@��,�U�����I'll never forget���������one of the first times at the Vanport,�� �������I asked this older woman beside me,���C�u@��,������"Well, how long have you been queer?"�� L����� �She looked at me and said,��W�����)"It's not queer, you never say queer, it's gay."���C�u@��,�w�����So I was told quite frankly right then and there,�� Ѡ¡��never use the word "Queer", and I haven't since either.��C�u@��-�¡��Men would bring their women down to look at the queers.�� 򠾡��5They thought this was Saturday night entertainment.�� �C�u@��-0򠪡��And this really appealed to us;��6�����ywe would be sitting, and they'd come in,�� m�����Jand we'd turn our chairs around and just stare at them��WC�u��-Rՠ����through sort of slightly closed eyes.�� ����� LWhen their women went to the bathroom,�� �C�u��-gL�����we would follow them.�� �š�� Four or five of us would follow these two terrified women,���C�u@�-������and not do anything, but just to see their eyes,�� Ҡ���� and to see the men wondering what we were doing.�� LC�u@��-�o�����One night we got so fed up we made a sign�� ��ǡ�� �"Please don't feed the animals", put it up, and just stared.��UC�u��-�٠����I remember once we sat in a window in a Detroit bar--���������I think it was Detroit.���C�u@��-���š��We were all in the window; These guys would stand outside.��U������They would hassle you when you went in and out,�� mC�u��-�>�����because guys don't like the idea that you're...�� ������ �You're doing anything with women, you know,�� +C�u@��.|�����when you're dressed like that.���������And I can remember one time�� Ǡ�����they were all out there catcalling and catcalling.�� lC�u��.$�����When people today talk about harassment��ݠ���� they don't know what they're talking about.�� *C�u@��.7��á��This one time they're standing out there yelling at us--��@������I forget what they said-- you can imagine.�� �C�u��.T�¡��And I just pulled my jacket back and I showed my knife.�������WSaid something stupid like���C�u��.ji�����"I'm wearing a knife and I know how to use it",�� W����� �which is utterly ridiculous!���C�u��.~9�����I only knew how to peel potatoes with it.�� m����� �However, it worked!��ݠ�����♪ Lounge music ♪���C�u��.�B�����[ Nairobi ]: Oh, well, I'll tell you something,�� m����� �I was "The queen".���C�u��/��ơ��Actually, I was the only black person I could really recall���C�u@��/)ᠡ���being in the gay clubs.���������Straight clubs, oh yes, of course,��Ҡ����there were a million of them.���C�u@��/A������But in the gay bars I was the only one�� ������ �that everybody was chasing.��z�ǡ���I wish they would chase me now, but I guess I'm too old now.��VC�u@��/b֠����They say to hell with that...��y������But I was one of the only ones,����ġ��and you didn't see Chinese, Japanese, nothing absolutely.��?C�u��/�u�����Just... just me.��Ҡ����There was a lot of prejudices at the time.���C�u��/�ࠩ���We had our wasps... you know...�� L����� �They didn't like women of colour,�� @C�u��/�򠵡��they didn't like anyone who was different.�� b����� �I ended up going to a black club.�� �C�u@��/�s�¡��And at that time they were considered "the black club",�� ������ �and what attracted me was the music was really good,���C�u@��/��¡��it was very funky, and everybody dressed really snazzy.�� Р����And I thought, "Oh, this is what I'm looking for."���C�u��0$�����This was part of fulfilling my fantasy�� ����� cof looking good and being cool.�� �C�u��0&X�ġ��And it was fast, it was cool and it was in the nighttime.��5�����xSo that's where I ended up.���C�u@��0=���Actually, that's where I came out, not in Vanport.��ܠ����But in a place which was supposedly a straight bar,�� 5C�u��0X������but wasn't a straight bar,��B������because there was people from the street going there.�� LC�u@��0l۠����And those were the only people...���������But the thing I liked about it...���������You could be whoever you wanted to be in that bar.�� �C�u@��0���š��It didn't matter because there were actually black people,��x������there were people of white heritage, Asians,�� �C�u@��0�m�����and native people in there.���������It was a place where everybody belonged,�� �������nobody judged you for who or whatever you did.�� �C�u��0�נ����The majority of the women who were working�� ����� Kand around the streets, or into drugs�� C�u��0�n�����or into the prostitution���������or into the dancing were lesbian women.��aC�u��0�ڠ����♪ Burlesque music ♪���C�u@��19}�����They were with women.�� �����cThey wouldn't identify themselves as lesbian�� ��¡��Vor gay or anything... there just was an unwritten code.��xC�u@��1YK�����They were with women.�� �����c♪ You got me jumpin' like a crazy clown ♪�� a�ġ��[ Narrator ]: Laura couldn't quite remember�� AC�u@��1x������how she got back to Mitch's apartment.����á���She'd stayed for one more drink at the bar�� �������and she never wanted the night to end.���C�u��1�U�����♪ Hey hey set me free ♪�� ܠ���� ♪ stupid cupid stop pickin' on me ♪�� �C�u��1�E�����♪ hey hey set me free ♪�� ������ �♪ stupid cupid stop pickin' on me ♪�� C�u��1Ι�����♪ stupid cupid stupid cupid ♪��>C�u��1������♪ stupid cupid ♪���C�u��25�����So what would you like to hear next?��破���*I don't think I could dance another step.�� 5C�u��2 נ����I'm exhausted.��c������All right then.�� ����� �I'll choose one for us.���C�u��2}������Who's the woman in the photograph?���������Oh, that's Amelia Earhart.�� mC�u��2�1�����She was one hell of a pilot.�� 蠽��� +Quite the hero for all the women in the air force.�� �C�u��2�������I wanted to be just like her.����ɡÁ�Just take off one day and have nothing between me and the gods��VC�u��2������but the great big blue sky.��������She's an incredible looking woman.�� LC�u��2ꛠ����Yeah...���C�u��3%c�����♪ Fifties ballad ♪���C�u��3AH�����♪ if you promised that you'd call me ♪���C�u��3]o�����♪ and I spent a thousand nights just waiting ♪���C�u��3|1�����♪ it would still still still be worth it ♪���C�u��3�d�����♪ just to hear your voice when you called ♪���C�u��3�'�����♪ if I ruled the world completely ♪���C�u��3�Y�����♪ but I had to be a slave to love you ♪��jC�u��3������♪ it would still still still be worth it ♪��2C�u��4 {�����♪ it would still be worth it my love ♪��C�u��4$ڠ����♪ unless unless I'm holding you ♪��C�u��4D"�����♪ what good can these arms be ♪���C�u��4^U�����♪ what use what use are these lips of mine ♪���C�u��4~e�����♪ if yours are forbidden to me ♪���C�u��4�3�����♪ if I had to die tomorrow just to share ♪��#1C�u��4�+�š��When Dorothy and I split up, I left her actually for Vera.��������@And Vera finally left Iris,��C�u��4�ʠ����and then Vera and I lived together.�� y����� �And in the beginning Dorothy and Iris lived together.���C�u@��5 ������Then Iris and Vera. Then Jeanne and Dorothy.����ġ���And then when I left Vera, Dorothy and Vera got together.���C�u��5,e�����So the only one that missed out was Iris and Jeanne.��W������But that didn't work out.���C�u��5B򠝡��♪ Piano music ♪��'C�u��5\\�����This woman came up the hall�� L����� �and for the first time in my life,�� LC�u��5qz�����I think I just about dropped dead on the spot,��V�����wit was incredible, she was so beautiful.�� cC�u@��5�������She was a Hungarian gypsy,��頭���,with jet black hair and blue eyes.�� x������I just took one look at her and I was toast.�� xC�u��5�8�����I took her home with me on the bus.�� ����� aOn the bus...�� �C�u��5���¡��And it was very late, and we were in downtown Vancouver���������necking in the back of the bus.�� 5C�u@��5� �����In 1963... pretty brave... Pretty brave...���ġ��VAnd she was incredible because she was like a real butch.���C�u��6^�����You had to look twice to know she was a woman,�������Vbecause she was really, really skinny, no tits.�� �C�u��6 �¡��Just strides and a t-shirt, and men's shoes and tattoos�������`from her-- slicked-back short hair--�� C�u��6;à����tattoos from her wrists to her elbows.�� ����� LA real stereotypical butch.�� C�u@��6P[�����And I thought it was great.��Ǡ���� I'd never seen one like that before�� L������and I was mesmerized by this woman.�� C�u��6mk�����I was attracted to her because she was like she was,�� ������ �so I became the fluffy little femme.�� �C�u��6�|�����The little...��X������Heterosexual wife, because that's what we were.��xC�u@��6�Ѡ����We were just women who were acting like heterosexuals.��@������She cooked-- she thought she was a better cook.�� �C�u@�6�0�����But I did the cleaning and looking after her.��a������The dutiful little wife who never opened her mouth.�� �C�u@��6�Ơ����Because if you did you probably got a fist in it.���¡��aAnd you were obedient. You only talked to other femmes.���C�u��6�/�����You didn't talk to other butches, you weren't allowed.�� @����� �It was good for a poke too.���C�u��7������And so we lived��B������much as a straight married couple would have lived�� �C�u��7%2�����it was disgusting!��������7When I look at it now, I cannot believe I did that.�� �C�u��7;|�����But I didn't know any better. That's how it was.�� ݠ���� But I remember one day looking in the mirror�� bC�u��7T@�����and saying, "Who are you? What are you doing?"�� m�����JDawn was a stone butch.��nC�u��7o;�����She would make love to me,���������but I wasn't allowed to touch her... ray was the same.�� �C�u��7������That was fairly common amongst our group.�� Ǡ���� It was pretty common in the larger group, too.�� C�u��7�������For years I had the scars of this because she reacted��4�����wlike I didn't know what I was doing...��yC�u��7�������I didn't, but I wanted her to teach me.�� ݠ���� And the harder I tried, the more she said,�� 6C�u��7�K�����"No.. No. You're no good. Just forget it."�� *����� *So for years I had a complex about that,�� �C�u��7唠����that it was me, that I was not a good lover.�� ������ �Well, after I broke up with her,�� �C�u@��7�y�����I immediately went and got my hair cut,��+�����nbought some jeans and a plaid lumberjack shirt�� *�¡���and walked into the bar, and some people were dismayed,��C�u@��8h�����but there was mostly cheers.��L������The women were yelling, "Yeah Steph, all right!"�� L�����They thought this was great.���C�u��86������This was where-- the way it should be.�� �������When I met Jane I didn't know anything about her,�� �C�u@��8Vs�š��but I felt very attracted to her and wanted to be with her����̡Ɓ@because all of a sudden my world opened up to something I wanted.���C�u��8u������With my naivete I never realized�� ��á�� �that Jane was very much entrenched into the street life.���C�u@��8���¡��I stayed, really, together with Jane about three years.��򠽡��4She would take me places, down to L.A., to Nevada,��5C�u@��8���ɡÁand kind of on a circuit type thing we would go through there.�� b������It was a friend who was of black heritage�� �C�u��8�R�����who came up to me, and literally threw me�� ����� Win front of a mirror and said, "Is this really you?�� mC�u@��8�7�����She said,��7�����z"Remember this is my life, I was brought up into this.�� 5������You've got an education. You don't have to do this."��C�u��9^�����I realized when I couldn't recognize myself�� ������ �it was time to get out of that situation.�� �C�u@��9렰���And that's how I got off the streets.�� b����� �I went to the Montreal club,���������and the first evening I was there,���C�u��9.񠩡��I was talking to an older woman���������who had been in the gay scene for a long time.�� �C�u@��9D��ġ��She could tell I was upset about my marriage breaking up,��b������and she said-- dear heart she called me--�� �C�u��9aA�ġ��"If you think it hurts to get your heart broken by a man,��������@wait 'till a woman does it."�� bC�u��9zG�����I didn't understand exactly what she meant.�� L����� �I thought, "A broken heart's a broken heart."�� C�u��9�ߠ����But it was different.��ޠ����!When it happened, I realized what she was saying.�� �C�u��9��ġ��Because I find being with a woman is a lot more intimate,���������a lot more shared than with a man.�� AC�u��9�;�����So the pain, when you lose that,�� Ơá�� when you love somebody and they don't love you any more,��C�u@��9Ԛ�����the pain is harder; You're losing a part of you.�� +����� mI never felt that when I broke up with my husband.���C�u��9􉠥���I thought I was losing him,��Ҡ�����and my family, and my surroundings.�� �C�u��: d�����I never felt I was losing a part of me,�� ������ �but when I had my first heartbreak with a woman,��C�u��:"������I felt I was losing part of myself.��x������Kind of sad.��cC�u��:8 �����♪ Music ♪���C�u��:�������[ Nairobi ]: In 1970, we made a big group.�� ������ �It was the travelling band.�� �C�u��:�f�����Ricky and Ruby and the travelling band.�� l����� �And it was a good band.���C�u@��:�堩���We went to Churchill, Manitoba.��ݠ���� We went to fort Williams.�� Ǡ����We went to a little town called the pas,��5C�u��:�e�����and then Labrador and Flin Flon.�� 蠬��� *And then Robyn-noranda, Val-d'or,�� �C�u��;a�����seven islands...��W������Mont-laurier.���C�u��;;�����There was no problem running into sisters�� Ѡ����because they're all over, what can I say?�� �C�u��;5M�����There were lots of married women�� ������ �that I went with, especially in B.C.�� C�u��;O=�����It was too bad that the guys were so...��栺���)They were such bastards, I would say, bastards.�� xC�u��;k!�����Women-- it was this big competition about women.��JC�u��;~������Who's gonna have the first girl in town?�� ������ �Who's gonna have-- as they say-- "the first lay"?�� �C�u��;�ᠳ���There they are, buying all these drinks,�� b����� �inviting these women, doing stupid things...�� C�u@��;�Ҡ����I would just sit there, or finish my show.�� 󠜡�� 6And I did nothing.��������I had somebody knocking on my door or calling me.�� �C�u��;�%�����It was so beautiful, they hated me!�� L������They hated me for that.���C�u��;传����They started to fight with me, they called me names,��������like you lesbian, you this and you that.�� 6C�u@��;�������And I, how come we worked for three years before�� L����� �and everything was fine,���������and now, because I'm alone-- my brother's gone--�� mC�u��<N�����you guys treat me this way.��6�ġ���I used to walk off the stage almost every night in tears.���C�u��<7=�����So one day I just said to myself, "This is it."�� +����� mAnd I said, "Guys, you know what? Fuck you."���C�u��������♪ Eerie organ music ♪���C�u@��>_9�ǡ��I got really drunk this night, I was with a bunch of people.��@������The rumours were starting about me being gay,�� �C�u��>y������and I still wasn't comfortable with my gayness.�� ܠ���� So I thought, "I'll prove you wrong."���C�u@��>�̠����So I ended up in this male customer's room,�� ������ �and I ended up pregnant.��������5I didn't think I could have this baby.���C�u@��>�B�����Also I was gay!��X�ġ���I'd heard stories about what happens to children of gays.�� Šá���It was really great that I got to raise Rachel on my own���C�u@��>Ϊ�����because I could raise her the way I wanted,�� ��ơ�� �to be a strong, independent woman who nobody would walk on.���C�u@�>�@�ġ��When she was five, I got into a relationship with a woman���������and decided then to tell her I was gay.�� LC�u@��? ������I explained it as an alternate lifestyle.�� ��ơ�� �That there were those of us who were different from others.�� C�u��?%ܠ����Not wrong, or no blame, but just different.�� ������ �And she was very accepting, and she still is.�� �C�u��?�����in every way you can think.���������I think post-menopausal women should run the world.�� ݠ����[ Protesters ]: - What do we want? - Choice!!!�� �C�u��A*C�����- When do we want it? - Now!!!�� ����� L♪ Saxophone music ♪��(�C�u@��A][�����[ Bannon ]: I stopped writing in the early 1960s�� ������ �at a time when���������my children were just of an age to start asking���C�u@��A>�����what I was doing at the typewriter�������� Afor so many hours a day.���ġ���And beginning to read and interested in what I was doing.���C�u��A�������And it made me uneasy.��7�����yI wish I had been braver�� �C�u��A�>�š��because I think I was beginning to be a lot better writer.��KC�u��A�ˠ����It was easier to live in my head�� 6����� ythan to go out and live a real life,�� �C�u��A�n�����and I sometimes wonder if I harmed myself somehow.��l������I've gotten so good at it���C�u��A����that's now it's tempting to stay in my head.�� ������ @I think that's probably not what one should do,�� *C�u��B������one needs to get out,���������but it was a strategy that probably saved my sanity.�� �C�u��B,w�����I was doing what everyone told me to do.�� Ơ���� *My family, my life, my culture, my society all said,��@C�u��BIE�����"Be a good wife and mother."��L������And I gave it a good try and it finally didn't work.��)C�u��Ba������And so I'm living a much better life.�� ������ �I'm much truer to myself now.�� �C�u��By]�����But you can't go back and rewrite it.�� Ơ���� ♪ Music ♪���C�u��B�m�����I got very sick... Very, very, very sick.��w������Like, "Kaput... C'est fini!��VC�u��B�������Todo... terminado."���������[ Dog barking ]�� 蠥���And they did lots of tests.�� C�u��B�@�����They took about a month.�� �����MAnd they said to me,��������"Nairobi, guess what? You need a heart."�� LC�u@��B����And I said, "Oh, are you kidding me?"����ʡā�My transplant, it was in 1988, and I'll never forget that date.���C�u��C�����The 13th of July '88.�� Ǡ���� LThat's my lucky number.�� +C�u��C"������I was shocked at my mother.�� ����� AThat was the first time that my mother kissed me.�� mC�u@��C9������Because she never did before.��蠟���+I thought she thought��������that kissing a lesbian would have been dangerous.�� mC�u@��CU`�����Catchy!��W������And when she laid down close to me,�� ������or stooped down and kissed me, I'll tell you what.�� �C�u��Cv�����I, as they say, I saw the light.���������My mother kissed me.���C�u��C�Р����And I looked at her and said, "Mother, you kissed me!"��5�����wShe kissed me again and smiled.��C�u��C������She said, "You'll make it."��Ǡ���� That was just before I went to the operation table.���C�u��C�+�����And I loved that.��M�����K[ Amanda ]: I was brought up���C�u��Cա�����in the Haida nation, and our cultures�� 蠵��� *and values and beliefs are much different.�� LC�u��C�Z�����I wasn't brought up with Christianity.�������XMy first language is not English,�� lC�u��Da�����and the values of ownership, of materialistic things,�� ����� Kwas not part of my values.�� C�u��D������But I realized when I came to the city�� b����� �that this society bases the value of a person�� mC�u��D2M�����on what job they do and what they own.�������a[ Birds chirping ]��@C�u@��DQ0�����For a person of white heritage,�� y����� �you're walking down the street,��n�����lyou are not targeted as lesbian or gay,���C�u��Dmݠš��but as a native person you're targeted as a native person.�� m����� �And when you realize that your choice��XC�u��D�j�����of partner is of the same sex,����ȡ�then you realize there must be something more wrong with you,�� �C�u@��D�O�����because society doesn't accept you already���������as it is, but now you've got this added on.���������Do you lose your people in the process?�� �C�u��D�������Now where do you belong?��B������It took a lot of courage to be what we were.�� �C�u@��D�;�����These were all courageous women.���������We were all out there flaunting the law��m������and just being brave enough to do what we were doing.�� �C�u��D�蠶���With no support, with no help from anybody.�� m����� �And it appealed to me, especially as a 21-year-old.�� mC�u@��D�G�����I was really into being a rebel, so... it was great!�� Ҡơ�� And that attracted many young people to the lifestyle then.��C�u��E������It was the forbiddenness.�������WIt was doing something that was slightly illicit!�� C�u��E-U�����When I look back I realize that��󠸡��6the people back home were very strong people.�� �C�u@��EC������And the women in Vanport, even though they scared me,��W������were also very strong because they got out there��C�u@��E`������and said, "This is who we are, like it or not."�� b�ơ�� �When I came into the gay scene, what I appreciated about it���C�u@��E�.�š��was that the women that had decided what they wanted to be��@������and their sexuality, were very strong women,�� �C�u��E�������and they had to be to make a decision then.�� ����� xIt was very hard to be gay then,�� C�u��E�������it just wasn't accepted with families or friends.�������aAnd women, I found, stuck together more.�� 6C�u��EҚ�����I think that not being able to...��C�u��E�������Move freely through society as a human being�� m����� �and a person with dignity isn't exciting!���C�u��Fm�����I think maybe robbing a bank is exciting.�� *����� mBut not being an outcast�� �C�u��F(�š��because you have preferences that the majority don't have.���������That's not exciting.���C�u��F?N�����Not-- it never was to me.��m�ơ���I don't want to offend anybody, I just want to be a person.��VC�u@��FX��ȡI just want to walk through life freely and not harm anybody.�� Ơǡ�� I don't want to be harmed, I just want nice social contacts.�� �C�u@��Fof�����I just want to have fun.���������I don't want to have to think,��������"There's something wrong with me.��nC�u��F�@�����"I'm not as good as this person.�� b����� �I have to go to the back of the bus."�� �C�u��F������That sucks!���������I trust all women.�������� �If there was only women, I would never lock my doors.���C�u@��F�Ӡ����But I lock my doors to keep the men out,�� *����� mnot to keep the women out.��������?I lock them to keep the women in!��XC�u��F�������♪ Romantic music ♪���C�u��IT�����♪ Fifties ballad ♪���������Laura?��7C�u@��I4.�����♪ Secretly wish we didn't have to kiss secretly ♪�� +����� +♪ secretly wish we didn't have to kiss secretly ♪���C�u��IU������♪ wish we didn't have to be afraid ♪��C�u��Ii᠟���I made you a coffee.��X������♪ Show the world that we're in love ♪���C�u��I�������♪ till we have the right ♪�� y����� �Thanks...���C�u��I������It's my favourite.���C�u@��I�q�ȡ[ Narrator ]: Laura thought she would be caught�� ������ �in a hideous trap of warped desires.�� xC�u@��I��̡ƁInstead she found her wildest dreams had come true.��a������Now she knew what she was, for sure:�� �C�u��I�֠����A lesbian!��C�u��J�����Closed captions sous-titrage plus inc.��vC�u��L�������I keep laughing at what you said��W������about this thing being a hit,���������remember?�� C�u��M �����Yes.��M������What did you say?��+����� �I said, "Lois, with our luck��nC�u��M .�����"this movie will be a hit.���������"And there will be people lined up�� xC�u@��M3������with baseball bats to get us."�� L����� LIt won't be anything new for me!��������)It'll be like the old days.��LC�u��MN������Yes.�������XThe old days outside a gay bar. 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