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Eߣ�B��B��B�B�B��matroskaB��B��S�g �M�t�M��S��I�fS��M��S��T�kS���M��S��S�kS��.�M��S��T�gS�����O� I�f@�*ױ�B@M��libebml v1.4.5 + libmatroska v1.7.1WA�mkvmerge v84.0 ('Sleeper') 64-bitD��ASH'� Da�
�2j�dH {��Forbidden Love: The Unashamed Stories of Lesbian Livess��5 ���p=�:���f�T�k���ׁsň�� ��ʭQ���� ��S_TEXT/UTF8"���en�D C�u��<
����� ♪ Fifties rock and roll music ♪���C�u@��Ӡ����� [ Radio announcer ]:
And now, a pretty ballad����͡ǁ� that's climbing the charts,"Tell Laura I love her",��C�u@��� ����� a tragic taleof teenage love.��6�����y [ Switches to another station ]��������� ♪ Fifties ballad ♪��C�u��q4����� Honey, maybe it
would be easier��6�����y for Laura if she
didn't see you again.��C�u���0����� But I need
to see her.�� C�u���)����� Laura?��X����� � [ Train whistle ]��ݠ����� I just had to come
and say goodbye.���C�u��̴����� Bill drove me.��������� [ Car door closing ]��zC�u���H����� Oh Meg, I thought you
might be coming with me.��
m�����
� No, I just
had to...���C�u��렗��� Come with me!��������� Oh Meg, we could
be so happy.��
mC�u��m����� [ Whispers ]: Please.���C�u��2����� Please...��������� [ Conductor ]: All aboard!��6C�u��tQ����� [ Whispers ]: No...��������5 No...���C�u��������� [ Train whistle ]��
�����L ♪ Music ♪���C�u�������� ♪ I was such a fool ♪��"C�u��`����� ♪ to fall in love with you ♪��"C�u��6������ ♪ I was such a fool ♪���C�u��Jw����� ♪ to think
you'd love me too ♪��%�C�u��pC����� ♪ 'cause suddenly
something happened ♪���C�u��������� ♪ your love
flickered and died ♪��C�u���ࠚ��� ♪ but mine ♪��
m�����
� ♪ mine kept right
on burning ♪�� �C�u��������� ♪ then burst into a torch ♪��@������ ♪ impossible to hide ♪��
�C�u���Q����� ♪ I was such a fool ♪��JC�u���ޠ���� ♪ to think that
you were mine ♪��IC�u��j����� My mother was having
a bit of a problem with me,��5�����V you know, my sexuality,
and so...��WC�u�� Z�ʡā I remember once she writing me
that she was reading these books��4�����w to understand me better;��AC�u��8U����� that was the worst
kind of literature��
�����
L she could read,
next to the Kinsey report.���C�u@��N}����� The books were displayed
with the other books,�� 蠦���
+ and you had to dig for them.����ơ��� The only way to identify them
was by pictures on the cover.��bC�u��l����� As soon as I'd see
a picture of two women,�������V I'd say, this has to be one.��������? ♪ Music ♪���C�u@���:����� [ Stephanie ]: And I used
to take them baby-sitting.�� ������
When the people went out,
I would sit and read��
*C�u@��������� these lesbian novels
when nobody was around.��5�ġ��x [ Ann Bannon ]: There was
a golden age of lesbian writing��
mC�u���נ���� and publishing that came to pass��
L�����
� in the fifties and sixties...���C�u���,����� And I think we suddenly
reached out and connected��b������ with women who were
very isolated���C�u��꣠���� and sequestered, almost,
in little towns��
�����
L across the country.��n������ ♪ Music ♪��5C�u������� I think that's one reason
why paperback originals��5�����x which dealt with
a lesbian theme��yC�u��K����� became so valuable
to so many women.�� ������ � They were widely distributed
and they said,���C�u��5R����� this is who some
of your sisters are.��������� [ Reva ]: I don't remember
all the authors,�� �C�u@��Kz�ơ�� I just remember all the books,
and there were tons of them.��
��5 And they all had great covers--
very suggestive���C�u��f������ and entrancing.���C�u���ޠʡā And the stories were all sort of
like the romance novels today:��砦���) There was sort of a formula.��XC�u@����¡�� Butch meets straight little
femme and they fall in love��������� and, of course, it had
a tragic sort of ending.��C�u�������� It never-- rarely worked
out to anybody's joy.���C�u���۠���� Oh, well.��z������ [ Bannon ]: I think women
writing in the 50s and 60s��C�u@��������� for the paperback
houses in particular��������� were often constrained
by the kind of formula�� 蠮��� that the publisher
imposed on them.���C�u@�������� Some kind of retribution
was essential at the end������ so you could let them have
a little fun in the meantime.��UC�u@��;
����� And presumably,
entertain the reader.��ݠ���� But it was not to go unpunished,��
�����l so at the end of
a story like that,���C�u��W������ one or both of
the women had to die��ݠ���� or be essentially shipped out
of the country,���C�u��mߠ���� or undergo some calamity
that would break her heart�������V or break her spirit
or end her life!��xC�u���S����� If there was one good thing��
������
� that came out of
gold medal books��
LC�u��������� leaving me to my own devices,��B������ it was that I didn't
have to do that.��
+������ My women survived.��6C�u�������� They loved hard,
and they lost hard,��6�����y but they won a few,
and they didn't die.��KC�u���p����� They'd find ways
in the cover blurbs��
Ҡ���� to say "Must society reject me?"��
mC�u���5����� Or this kind of very obvious
none-too-subtle clue.���C�u@��1����� They didn't want it subtle;�� �����c they wanted people to know��ݠ����� they were buying something
with a lesbian theme.��
nC�u��U������ I liked "we too are drifting",����š��7 and "the price of salt" was
great because it ended happily���C�u��l���� instead of
this miserable situation��������� where the woman had to fall
into somebody's arms.��WC�u���;����� You know, the old myth.��
�����M The whole world is full
of stupid myths about women.���C�u@��������� "All you have to do
is meet a good man,�� Ǡš��
and you'll be all right...
You won't need women any more."��
C�u�������� ♪ Music ♪���C�u@����ɡÁ When I first started writing,
I would travel from Philadelphia��������� where we were living up to
New York by commuter train,��
�C�u@����� and beeline right down
to Greenwich village,��
*�����
m and sometimes I would spend
long hours simply walking��C�u@��
C����� up and down the streets
of the village��y������ to soak it up,
make it mine,��頺���� because I could only have
these little moments.���C�u��,i����� It was never more
than a week at a time.��
������
� It mattered to me,��xC�u��B������ and therefore it was
imprinted on all my senses��
m�����
� as something to take
away with me and keep��xC�u��\����� and use to mine it
for my subsequent writing.��C�u@��q����� It left me with a sort of
magic place in my mind���ɡÁ` and imagination, this Greenwich
village in the 1950s, that i--���C�u@���x�ȡ my grandmother would have said
it's a diamond in your pocket.��Šš�� You carry that with you forever,
and it feeds the stories.��
�C�u���Q����� ♪ Music ♪��V�š��� [ Male ]: In the last 50 years,there's been��
+C�u@��ƚ�ǡ�� a revolutionary changein the status of women.��
n�����
� In most parts ofthe western world,��+����� women can vote, own property,���C�u���͠ϡɁ and practise any professionwithin their capabilities.��W������ ♪ Music ♪��>C�u�� �ءҁ Beauty, however, is still one ofthe chief attributes of women.�������V ♪ Music ♪�� �C�u�� &�ġ�� The woman of today is trying
to solve her problems��w������ in the way of the 20th century.��
LC�u@�� 6o�á�� Around her she seesmodern household aids:�� Ơѡˁ
Pressure cookers, freezers,tiny garbage disposal units,���C�u@�� P_����� lightweight irons,and a host more.�� ������ � And she wants them all...But for many,�� �C�u�� d
����� the ideal kitchenis still only a dream.��C�u�� {砥��� Whether it's careers��c������ or cradles or both,the woman of today��
*C�u�� ������� in every field of activity����ġ�� A welcomes these new plansfor better living.���C�u@�� ��աρ Although she will never abandonher role as wife and mother,��a������ she looks forwardto a greater share���C�u�� ������� in the world of today...��B������ And tomorrow.���C�u�� ��ȡ A world which can bean adventure in happiness!��a������ ♪ Music ♪��)C�u��
������ [ Reva ]: Well, actually,��������A I got married when
I was just turned 21,��bC�u��
"z����� and I got involved
with a friend,�� b�ơ�� � and she had come across all
these wonderful lesbian novels,���C�u@��
<'����� and she said, "I'd like you
to read this great book."��������� And then she gave me one,
and then another one,��
�C�u@��
Z ����� by now I was sort of
getting hooked on the stories,��
*�ʡā
m and at some point she confessed,
"Well, I think I'm like that."��4C�u@��
x䠺��� I freaked out and said,
"Oh no! Not like that!"����Ρȁ� Whatever that was because it
was all a new experience to me.��C�u��
��ǡ�� Eventually I sort of thought
maybe I'm like that too.��砗���* ♪ Music ♪��
KC�u��
����� Ultimately we got it together,��W������ and I just left
my husband and, uh...��
�C�u��
�|����� Sort of took on a new life.��@������ ♪ Music ♪���C�u@��
�Ϡ���� At one point we thought,��������� all the lesbians obviously
live in Greenwich village--��������� at least the books said that--�� bC�u��.����� so we decided we had to go
and find the lesbians!��VC�u@������ So I put on what I thought��������� was my best butch clothing--��������� 'cause we thought they
were all butch and femme.���C�u��8��¡�� I put on my red blazer,
a tie, a shirt, and dark pants.��x������ And my lover wore a dress,���C�u@��O+����� and off we went
to Greenwich Village��������� to look for the lesbians!��y�����
� We asked taxi drivers
and poked around���C�u��i������ and went in here and there,�������� and we never found them!��A����� It was a real disappointment.��7C�u@�~����� People thought we looked
strange, they looked at us��
Ѡ���� a little bit out of
the corner of their eyes.��
*C�u���v����� We survived that venture,��������� but that wasn't the lesbians
that we were looking for.���C�u@���/����� They just weren't there,
or we didn't recognize them��������� 'cause they weren't wearing
butch and femme things.���C�u����� ♪ Bongo drums ♪���C�u���Y����� I had my first affair
when I was 13.��W������ I met a 20-year-old woman.���C�u�� ����� I remember the day I met her,�� ������ � because I went to visit
her aunt at her house,���C�u�������� and I walked in the door
and she looked me over.��b������ I said, "My name is Stephanie."��+C�u��4����� She said,
"Oh, what a lovely name."�� A����� b And we were off.��
������ It only lasted a few days,��LC�u��LI����� but I knew what
I was for sure then.��������� I got through high school
mostly by dating--��
�C�u��gD����� subconsciously, actually--
gay men, gay young men.��Ơ����
I liked to dance a lot,���C�u��|@����� and I would find a young man
who liked to dance too.��砩���) We would go to
dances, movies.���C�u@���R�ǡ�� There was no physical intimacy
at all, so it was just great.��5�����x They still thought, "Steph's
in love with this guy."���C�u���Ǡ���� I'd just go home��!�����c and laugh up my sleeve,
but it got me past.��
�C�u���>����� ♪ Rock music ♪��_C�u��
ˠá�� I was going to sleep with
this woman for the first time,��@������ and she was much older than I...��bC�u��
+�� Oh gee, it was so good.��
������ And I had a good time,
but when I came back home���C�u��
E~����� I decided to tell
my mother what I did.��
Ҡ���� And boy, did I make a mistake.��
�C�u��
[d����� I mean, she beat
the shit out of me.��@������ And it was like punishment.���C�u��
o������ She locked me up in the room.�������W And I'm not lying,
every hour she'd come in��
*C�u��
������� and slap me across the face,
and call me a "dirty..."��w������ Well, you see, the word is...���C�u��
�?����� Like a tortilla.��
�����M She'd say,
"You dirty tortillera."���C�u��
�0����� And I would cry.��������� And I said,
"Mother, but I love her."��
*C�u@��
ϧ����� "No, you don't love a woman,
you love a man."��K�¡��� And I said, "I'm sorry,
I love a woman, and that's it."���C�u��
������ [ Bird calling ]��C�u��>����� [ Keeley ]: I was born
in northern Alberta��6�����y about 60 miles from
Dawson creek, up in the bush.��
�C�u@��WV����� We did most of our farming
and travelling with horses.��
���� My parents came from Europe,
and settled in there,���C�u@��r������ and that country
opened up in '38.��6�����y That's where I grew up��������w and became the beautiful
person I am today.��
C�u���V����� [ She laughs ]���C�u@�������� Yeah, well, I always had
this attraction for women.��w������ And I had this dream about
this teacher when I was 14.���C�u���Ҡġ�� I went to school, and she was
teaching there, she was 19.��������� And she was at this local picnic���C�u��� ���� and all the boys
were hanging around���ơ��W 'cause she looked like the Breck
shampoo girl or something.���C�u@�������� And I was hanging
around, adoring her.����ǡ��� Then when I went home that night
I was sleeping and I dreamt���C�u��&����� that I was sitting in
this field full of flowers.��@������ They were all
purplish-blue flowers.��C�u��1 ����� I saw this figure
coming at a distance.��ܠ���� And she had this
big picture hat on��xC�u��Kڠ���� and this gauzy dress��m�š��� with the same pattern of flowers
as I was surrounded with.��aC�u��e렳��� And then as she came
near me I looked up��
+�����
m and she stooped over
and kissed my forehead.���C�u��}a����� And I looked up
and it was her.��
m�����
� And then afterwards,
I was going to school there,���C�u���0����� and she was the teacher--�� b����� b she was teaching
correspondence or something--���C�u��������� and we started
having this affair,�� b����� � but we weren't very
discreet about it.��
mC�u@�������� We were, you know,
carrying on in the school��
L�ǡ��
� and the kids were all running
around peeking in the windows.��xC�u@���O����� You know, ultimately,
she had to leave the school.��������� And that was a fairly
abrupt ending to the affair.��UC�u��
h����� ♪ Romantic music ♪���C�u@�������� [ Jeanne ]: I would get
these violent crushes,��������� and always on girls.��Ǡ���� And I didn't particularly
wonder about it.��kC�u��F\����� But I recall when
I was 15 or 16��
L�����
� taking a book out
of the library��6C�u��_蠵��� it was called "Serenade"
by James M. Cain.��6������ I thought it was about music,��6C�u@��t����� which is what
attracted me to it,��6�����y but when I got it home��+������ it was the story of
a male homosexual.��
mC�u���Ԡ���� I thought, gee, both sexes...
And I was surprised.���C�u���Ϡ���� My first real relationship
was when I was 22,��`C�u���r����� which would be 1946.�� ������
And I met her through a friend���C�u��ك����� who worked at
the same office I did.��
Ҡ����6 And it was just... dynamite;��C�u�������� it was like being run over
by a ten-ton truck.��������� ♪ Music ♪��cC�u�� ������ We used to go to movies
and neck and hold hands.��a������ We'd write a love
letter every night,���C�u��%������ and we'd meet in restaurants��������� and we'd be staring
into each other's eyes.��
mC�u��:࠲��� I mean, why would we
hide it, you know?��������� We couldn't have anyway...
It was too strong.�� C�u��V?����� ♪ Piano music ♪��������� We used to rent a booth
at Heintzman's--���C�u��i��� it was 25 cents an hour--��
��W and she would play the piano.���C�u��~"����� So we'd get a bottle of rye
and we'd head over��������� to Heintzman's and
have music and drinks,��C�u@�������� and we enjoyed that.�������X ♪ Piano music ♪��ݠ����x We had a wonderful relationship
for about a year,��)C�u��� ����� but she had to leave to go
to college in the states��������� because she couldn'T
get in to U of T��
C�u�������� and she wanted
to study medicine.�� A�ơ�� � So she left, and that was when
I really sort of came apart.��C�u@��ߠ���� And in those days there
was no one to talk to,��a������ no one to tell it to,
because it was such a no-no.���C�u��9m����� I was born on the ocean,��y������ and that was between Hydequy
and the mainland,��
�C�u��P����� up north of British Columbia.��ޠš�� One of the things I remember
growing up back home was that��VC�u��jӠ���� every school year,
my father fought for me��
������
� not to be sent away
to a residential school��5C�u���=����� by law at that time��������� all native children had to
be taken from the reserve���C�u@���D����� and put into
a residential school.��
�����M So I talked with my dad�� ������ and he gave me some
options to choose from.���C�u@��������� The choices he gave me was��X������ work in a cannery
the rest of my life��
m�����K the way my mom
and grandmothers did.�� bC�u��Ԉ����� But I recognized I would
become crippled like them.��砳���
* Or scrub and sweep
the white man's home.��xC�u���m����� Those were not things
I wanted to do,�� 蠿���
* or stay home and have kids,
like everyone else here.���C�u@�������� Or go to the white man's
school and go there.���¡��V But that choice meant that
I had to separate from them.��VC�u��#������ When I came to this society��n������ I saw that women had
to take the men's name��
KC�u��8à���� and the men ruled everything.��Ҡ���� I didn't want a relationship
with someone like that.��
*C�u@��N����� With a woman you wouldn't
have that-- so I thought.�������� So when I eventually got
my bachelor of education���C�u��oĠ���� and got a job
on Vancouver island,��
*�����
m what had happened was that���C�u@���
����� the parents of white heritage��Ҡ���� came and took their
children out of school��
Ѡ����) because I was
the first native person�� AC�u��������� to have taught in
a mainstream school.��
m�����
� The other hard part
was coming home���C�u���s����� to where I was living,�� �¡��L and they would break my windows
and throw shit into it.��C�u@��� ����� This had gone on for six months
when I finally broke��
�����5 and said, "This is too hard.
This is not what I want."��
nC�u���'����� I said, "To hell with it,
I'll go with it, I'm bad."��
Ѡ���� And I was really good bad.���C�u��
����� I was smart, so I was bad bad.��������� And that's how I ended
up going onto the streets.���C�u��!��ġ�� People have asked me if I
believe in love at first sight,��
Ѡ���� and I certainly do.���C�u��6������ It seems ridiculous, an old
woman talking about love��
������
� when you're 22,���C�u��J������ or whatever it was.�� �����c ♪ Music ♪��
C�u@��^I����� Walter was overseas by this
time, an infantry officer.��
l�����
� I had one two-year-old.��7�����) I was a high school teacher�� C�u��x������ and I went back
to summer school.��ݠ���� And I'd noticed there
was a woman teacher��
C�u@���)����� teaching some of
the summer school classes.��x�̡Ɓ� And she handed these things out,
and as she handed a paper to me,���C�u��������� some assignment or other,��z������ she looked at me and
I looked at her, and wham!��
�C�u���b����� That was it.��������6 We went through all this summer
at summer school,��C�u��������� and we were sleeping together,�������X we were hugging,
we were doing everything,���C�u����� except anything really
too close, intimate.��Š���� We didn't get to that.���C�u�� ��¡�� I don't know how many details
you want me to go into...���C�u��$#����� Anyway... this is what
I mean, the details.���C�u��:*����� At that point, we sort of knew.��6������ We talked about it;
Neither of us knew what to do.���C�u@��W⠳��� We were so stupid,
it's hard to believe.��5�ǡ��x We spent two or three days at
this lake in British Columbia,��C�u��w��ơ�� necking like absolute mad but
still didn't know what to do.��C�u���&����� This seems so silly...��Ҡ����� Finally, she was going back
on the train to Jasper,���C�u�������� and I said, "This is
just unfinished business.��
+�����
n I'm going with you to Jasper."�� C�u@���堼��� So I left my little boy
in charge of someone else��
*�̡Ɓ
m and I went with her-- just drove
on the train to Jasper and back.���C�u@���p����� And on the train, that's
when things happened.����ɡÁ� She started by making love to me
and I couldn't understand it.���C�u@���=����� All these crushes
I'd had on women--��Ҡ���� all of a sudden
there's a light.��+�ġ��� This is what's wrong with me.
There's nothing the matter.��xC�u@��{����� I just like women
more than men!��c������ It was great...
I was delighted.��
L����� That was my reaction.
I was absolutely delighted.���C�u��4I����� She said to me, "Boy,
were you inhibited."��ܠ���� And I said,
"Oh, well, was I?���C�u��Lf����� Would you like me
to do that to you?"��������� She said yes,
and started crying.��nC�u��_�� So I did, and that was it.�� b�ɡÁ� [ Carol ]: In the late forties,
when I was much, much younger,��)C�u���F����� I met a lot of...�� �����c Very nice gay people,
both men and women.���C�u���砰��� We took the boat,
and the island boat��砯���* at that time went
around the islands��xC�u���̠���� and ended up at Hanlans point.�� ������ � And we would arrive...
Very posh, very beautiful.���C�u���蠭��� The beautiful people
on the beach.��
C�u����� We used to all meet��
m�����
� at a place called
the candlelight cafe.���C�u��7����� Everybody met there on a Sunday.�� 蠬���
+ We wore whites
and yachting caps,��wC�u��$�ˡŁ and we had large picnic baskets
with all sorts of stuff in them.���C�u��9࠺��� Smoked oysters, you name it,
we had them all...��������� Wine... blankets.���C�u��N������ And we'd head
for Hanlans point,�������a which was the gay
section of the beach.��WC�u��i������ ♪ Lounge music ♪��C�u������� The very elegant part of Toronto�������W spanned from Letros,
to the king Edward,��
*C�u��������� to Melanie's...��5������ All very posh bars.��mC�u���
����� You dressed to go there,��������� you did not go without a man...
You couldn't go���C�u���4����� to the king Edward
to the mezzanine floor��������@ in pants, in slacks.���C�u��擠���� You dressed,
and you dressed well.��
Ѡ����
� And you went with one
good-looking fellow.���C�u������ What he did in the men's room
was none of your business,��������� but they made good escorts.���C�u��1����� They were charming,
they were good-looking,�������V and you got everywhere
you wanted to go.��C�u��6ݠ���� ♪ Lounge music ♪��C�u@�����¡�� [ Narrator ]: Laura'sheart was pounding.��B�š��c She'd heard these placescould be dangerous,����ӡ́� but her need to be with otherwomen like her, like "that",���C�u��̟����� was stronger than her fear.��ޠɡÁ Well, she was here,and she might as well go in.��C�u���
����� She'd just have one drink.��
��5 ♪ Fifties rock
and roll music ♪���C�u��H+����� Mitch just bought you
a grasshopper, honey.��
�C�u��^����� Oh...�������
You're new
in town.��
�����V Ah... yes.��MC�u��v������ How did you
know?��A������ Oh, you get a sixth
sense working here.���C�u���>����� ♪ Fifties ballad ♪���C�u�������� ♪ why must I meet you
in a secret rendezvous ♪��jC�u��:����� ♪ why must we steal away
to steal a kiss or two ♪���C�u��:����� You're new
in town...��
������ Yes, I...���C�u��_����� Thanks for the drink.��
m�����
� It's my favourite.��������� [ Chuckles ]��MC�u��t����� I thought so.�������
K Do you mind
if I join you?�� �C�u��������� What's
your name?�� A����� � Laura.��+�����
� Hi, Laura,
I'm Mitch.���C�u���z����� Yes, I know.
She told me.����6 I bet she did.�������� Where are you
from, Laura?���C�u��������� Oh, nowhere.��頣���, Ah, I've been
there too.��������
m You have?��BC�u��ؑ����� So listen, do
you want to dance?��
Ҡ���� Oh, um, no...
Sorry, thank you.���C�u���砚��� Maybe next time.��������� Wait...��y������ [ Narrator ]: Laurajust had to escape.���C�u@����͡ǁ She liked Mitch, but everythingwas moving too fast.��
��Ρȁ
� And yet, if she left now,would there be a next time?��*C�u�������� ♪ Fifties ballad ♪��QC�u��H����� The first time that I was
ever in a gay bar I was 19.���C�u��e����� My ex-husband had gone
off to Whitehorse��
m�����
� to play in a band
for about three months.�� bC�u��y������ I was about seven
and a half months pregnant.��
K�����
� Well, the age limit to drink��
�C�u@���
����� was 21 at that time,��y������ so I was nervous
about being underage,�� A������ but she said, "You're
pregnant, nobody'll know.���C�u��������� You look old enough to drink."��W������ If you're old enough to be
pregnant, you can drink.��
�C�u���.����� So in we went, and I was
really nervous and scared.��x������ I was looking around
at all these gay women.���C�u��؎����� Like, I'd always been
intrigued by it.��
�����5 I just... you know, it was
really fascinating for me.��5C�u���;�ǡ�� So we sat down and I saw this
woman sitting across the room,��_C�u��
ݠ���� and I couldn't take
my eyes off her��x������ because she was
so unique looking.���C�u�������� She had this short red hair��������� and had this little black
jacket and white shirt on,���C�u��5�ˡŁ with a little hanky sticking out
and black patent leather boots.���C�u��J5����� She was really attractive.��n������ She was about 20 years old,
I guess,���C�u��]䠭��� and just young
and vibrant, and...��
�����
K So I thought about her
for a long, long time,��aC�u��zӠ���� and that song "Shangri-la"�� ����� c was playing at the time
on the jukebox.��@C�u��������� And every time I heard
that song after that��
������
� I always thought
about this woman.�� AC�u�������� So, when I finally came
out into the gay scene��x������ I asked my sister, who
is gay, about this woman.��
mC�u��������� And she thought it was
this woman, gave me her name,��w������ and said, "She'll be
at the club tonight."��XC�u���1����� And sure enough, it was her.��n������ So, it was my three-year
fantasy come true.��
�C�u@�������� [ Steph ]: I used to
go to all the bars��
n�����
� up and down Granville street��頰���� 'cause I didn't know
where they were,�� �C�u��#������ and I would go into
bars and peer around,��
Ҡ����W are they in here,
are they in here?��
C�u��9a����� Finally, through a male customer��
n�����
� who was accusing me
of being a dyke,��
�C�u@��N㠭��� said, "You ought
to go down there,�� �����c that's where you belong."��L�����
� He told me about
the new fountain.�� AC�u��fY����� ♪ Music ♪��
�����
K And it was a choice area.��C�u��~������ It was on Cordova St.
where gastown is now,��b������ but then it was drunks
and drug addicts.��WC�u���9����� It was really "skid row",��M�ơ��� and I was really scared...
But I went down there by myself,��lC�u���w����� this fresh-faced punk
kid from Victoria��y������ who knew from nothing,���C�u���R����� and just waltzed in the door.�� ������ � And it was incredible.��WC�u�������� [ Amanda ]: I knew
nothing about skid row.�� c����� � All I knew, it was home
to me, just like home.���C�u@��������� There were native people
around, people were drinking.��)������ That was normal for me,
I felt comfortable.��C�u�������� And I heard someone say,�� Ǡơ��
"There's a club down there,
that's where all the women go."��WC�u@��+(����� And I went,
"I'll check this out here."��ݠ���� That's how I found the vanport.��������� But it also scared
the shit out of me too.��xC�u@��Gՠ���� It was filthy; It was
in an old, old building.��砿���
* It's not there any more;
It's been gone a long time.���C�u@��c������ But it was cockroaches
running around on the walls,��������@ your feet stuck to
whatever fell on the floor.��C�u���P�ǡ�� If you dropped a cigarette,
you didn't bother picking it up.��������� I don't think they ever changed��WC�u��������� the little Terry towel
covers on the tables.�������V People would pull
the little threads out���C�u@�������� and set them on fire!��+�����n It really was a dive,
but it was fun.�� b�����4 [ Keeley ]: The Vanport
wasn't exclusively a gay bar,��lC�u����� it just tolerated gays.�������� Everybody's money was good.��yC�u����� There was drug addicts,
there was drug dealers,��
m�����
� there were hookers,
there were housewives,��WC�u@�� �ǡ�� there were all these butchy women
who drove trucks and taxis��������� and everything they could
do that was unfeminine.�� �C�u�� (%����� ♪ Lounge music ♪��y������ [ Nairobi ]: Let me
tell you something.��������� When I came to Montreal,���C�u�� >����� the word they say
here in English is�� Ơ����
"freak out".��M������ [ Car horn ]���C�u�� Tv����� I went to my first gay bar...�������b "Babyface".��
C�u�� o.����� I walk in the bar--
I'd just finished my show,��������� dress and all,
makeup and everything.�� C�u�� ������� I walk in,�������M and, bingo, I see
all these women��
������ and I freak out again.�� C�u�� ������ That's what they say in
English-- you freak out.��
������
� And I say, "Whoo,
women, women, women!"���C�u�� ������� ♪ Slow dancing music ♪��=C�u��!(Ƞ���� You just glimpse across the room���á��5 and you see somebody and say,
"Mmm, that's what I want."��
lC�u@��!G������ And you send them a drink.��+�����n Then the flower lady walks in,�� ������V and you buy her
a flower, a Rose.��
C�u��!fM����� And she gets it,
she gets the message.��W������ She looks around,
and they point��C�u��!z>����� and say, "That's the one
that sent it."��
��6 If she was interested,
she'd go and say thank you,��VC�u@��!������ would you like to dance?��������� Now, that was beautiful,��������� because everybody just
got together that way.���C�u��!������ [ Jeanne ]: It was somewhere
in the area of 1951��砪���
K when we found
the first gay bar���C�u��!܅����� in Toronto.�� ����� We'd asked some,
I think they were hookers,��KC�u��!�'����� on Yonge street in a restaurant,��
������
� and they directed
us to the Rideau,��
nC�u��"
ʠ���� which was at Jarvis
and Gerrard--��
������
� a very tough spot.��
C�u��"#����� And it was kind of novel�� 蠱���
+ because they had a bar
for women only,��wC�u��">������ not women and escorts,
but women only.�������b So that the gay women in Toronto��
LC�u@�"Uݠ���� had chosen that place
to have their drinks.��
������
� I think that only went
for a year or two, the Rideau,��lC�u��"t�¡�� because they changed it
and made it ladies and escorts,��)�����l and it was just
too wicked down there.���C�u��"������ So all the ladies moved
over to the continental hotel��������� at Dundas and Elizabeth.�� �C�u@�"������� And there was a back room
in the continental,��
K�����
� and that's where most of
the gay women congregated.���C�u@��"�꠲��� [ Amanda ]: When I went
to the Vanport,����6 my fantasy was that
this would be a place�� A������ where there's women with women.���C�u��#������ I went in and saw
there were certain women,��
n�����
� but I couldn't find
the other women.��
�C�u��#-����� The women they were
supposed to be with��W������ didn't look like women,
they looked like men.���C�u��#D蠹��� So I was very confused
about that whole thing.��ܠ���� And on top of that,
it was really hurtful too,��5C�u��#_����� because everybody was either
drunk out of their mind��
K�����
� or stoned out of their mind.���C�u��#u�� And what I was trying to run
away from was exactly this,������ it was just like back home.��AC�u@��#�v����� And I realized it was
not what I wanted.�� ������ � But I was still so confused;��Ҡ����� how come they look like men?���C�u@��#�.�¡�� If you're gonna lead a double
life, lead a double life.��m������ I had to dress nicely
all my life at work.�� cC�u��#������� So I dressed in black pants,
a black cowboy shirt,�������W sometimes cowboy boots, black,��C�u��#�R����� and a big thick belt
around my waist,�� ������ � with a knife on it;
When it became illegal�� �C�u@��#�ߠ���� to have a five-inch knife,��������� I wore a three-inch
knife, and so on.��������� The butches were really
butch, some of them,���C�u@��$
��� totally butch and so aware
of it, and swaggering around.��������` So we'd wait and go over
at one point and say,��WC�u��$(z�ǡ�� "Listen, are you butch or femme?
We're looking for a femme."��
������
� They would just hit the roof:��6C�u��$>Ġ���� "What do you mean, am I
butch or femme? I'm butch!"��۠���� And we'd think this was funny.��
�C�u��$_����� They had big tattoos...��
*�����
� And men's ties and
they had on big jackets��C�u��$�S����� and I don't know
how to explain,��ݠ���� but they had their feet
up on the chair��
�C�u@��$�D����� and they're just,
you know, like...����W "Voulez-vous danser avec moi?"��
n����� And you kind of like,
"Ahem, I beg your pardon?"���C�u��$�^����� Like, you know...��ޠ����! But they were gentle,
they were sweet,��C�u��$�,����� they had passion,
they had... everything.����5 Wild bill came from Fergus,
Ontario.��C�u@��$�àơ�� She was one of the craziest
Scots I've ever met in my life.����ġ��� That lady worked as a man
on a farm for many, many years.��?C�u��%����� And you simply couldn't
tell the difference.��m������ She had a slight altercation��
�C�u��%;⠮��� with a friend who
she did not like,��5�����x and one day she drove
her motorcycle��5C�u��%UҠ���� straight into the back
door of the continental��Р���� and straight up to the table.�� �C�u��%q����� It was lovely!���ơ��W Femmes were expected to act
like "femmes fatales", I guess,���C�u��%������� you know, you were...����ơ��! You never opened your car doors
or lit your own cigarettes,��`C�u@�%������� and you never had
to buy your own beer.�� ��ġ�� � You could go out with a dollar
and go home with a dollar!���C�u@��%�8����� Beer was only ten cents
a glass then, too,�� 蠱���
+ so you could get drunk
on two dollars.�������� I thought, "I don't
know what to do here.��
�C�u@��%������ "I don't feel like a butch
who could pick up a femme.��a������ And I'm no femme,
no butch will pick me up."���C�u��%�8����� And so I sat there,
really isolated,��
+�š��
n and finally, I seemed to get
a bit chummy with both sides,��C�u@��&������ but never really involved
with either side.��
ҠɡÁW And I went away thinking, after
many attempts and going there,��KC�u��&2��� that maybe I had
to choose something��5�����x so I could be
part of this picture.��6C�u@��&I���� I thought, "Maybe
I'll become a butch,"��������� because according
to those stories,��������� the femmes did all the work.���C�u��&`]����� They had jobs and cooked
and cleaned,�������� A and butches just had to be
cool and wear pants.��
�C�u@��&w������ I would say there was at least
a ratio of ten to one,��5�����x butches to femmes,
so it was really territorial.��
lC�u��&�ؠ���� They would protect
their territory��
L��
� and heaven forbid any other
butch would cross that line.��C�u��&�Ƞ���� And it was like...��������� Well, like animals, almost...��
�C�u��&���� Like how lions defend
their mates and that.��
K�����
� It was that fierce.��XC�u��&�렬��� I used to flirt
a lot and I had--��b������ I got away with it
a lot because...��
�C�u��&������� Well, everybody
thought it was cute��
L�����
� and that's how you
were expected to act.��
�C�u��'&�ǡ�� There's been a few butches that
have little fights, I guess.��kC�u��'"Ԡ���� Oh, there were fights
all the time.��x������ It was most exciting.���C�u��'6������ But if you're leading
a double life,�� A����� � why go to a nice
friendly tea party��
C�u��'MR�ġ�� when you're not doing whatever
you do in your daily life?��U������ Why not really lead
a double life?��
+C�u@��'iW����� That place meant you led
a double life indeed!��
*�����
m We always sat with our coats on,
our back to the wall,���C�u��'������� so we could get out in
a hurry if necessary.��
��5 Oh, that's a s--�� C�u��'�!����� we'd been to the royal Alex,
to the ballet,��UC�u��'������� and I was wearing
a white knitted suit,��5�����w the whole bit, pearls, earrings.���C�u��'������ And I was accosted,
and I retaliated.��������� I ruined my suit,
I nearly lost my earrings,���C�u��'�>����� but I won the fight.��L������ Did I fight?��Ҡ����� No, I yelled a lot,
I didn't fight.���C�u��(������ I only fought with dawn,��頳���+ but I didn't get
into the public brawls.��C�u@��(!@�¡�� I just stood back and egged
on whoever I wanted to win.��
Ѡ���� It was great!�������� And we'd all scatter to
the sides of the bar.��xC�u��(C����� "Come on, go!"
Till the police came.��
KC�u��(xQ����� We saw this red light come on,��
l�����
� and bingo, it meant... danger.���C�u��(������ What is this danger?
The police is coming.��
������
� So... it means take cover.��
mC�u@��(������� So what do you do?
You sit there.��
Ѡ���� And I said, "Oh my god,�������J "I am just a working person
that came to this country,���C�u@��(������ "I have a contract for
working, a working permit.��
������
� "But if I get arrested,
they're gonna throw me out.���C�u��(� ����� I'm in a lesbian club."�������W [ Police siren ]���C�u��)0����� [ Police siren ]����5 [ Police radio ]��kC�u��)Nڠ���� The police they come in,��������6 and they have a flashlight
and they go around like...��
�C�u@��)eE����� "Don't move,
hands on the table!�� c����� � Empty your pockets!"��A�ơ��* And I am like, stand still,
don't move, hands on the table.���C�u��)�w����� And, you know,
I said, "Oh, Jesus."��ܠ���� [ Female ]: Get your hands
off of her!���C�u��)�q����� Lay off!�� C�u��)������� [ Policeman ]: I know
what you need, girlie.��x������ [ Female ]: Let go!�� C�u��)������� [ Policeman ]:
Lezzies! Queers!��������� [ Female ]: Let her go!�� C�u��)������� [ Policeman ]: Come on,
girlie, get in the car.��VC�u��*.����� [ Police siren ]���C�u��*C������ This one big cop,��c��� his wife had run off with
another woman, and he was mad.��KC�u��*Z��� And he was mad at all of us,
he didn't care who we were.���C�u��*n���� [ Policemen's boots
against pavement ]���C�u��*������� And he would harass us
and follow us into the street,��x������ and come up to us and say,���C�u@��*���ɡÁ "I want your name and address,
and I'm keeping it in my book."��x������ He had a book with
everybody's name and address.��
*C�u��*�堷��� He said, "I don't care
if you're jaywalking,��
�����
L I'm gonna nail you
if I ever catch you."���C�u@��*������ And he went after
Clara one night.�� ������ � And she was mad!��y������ This woman weighed 275 lbs.,
was about 5 foot 7,��wC�u��*�J����� and it took seven cops
to put her in the bun wagon��@�����@ he had to bring
six of his friends�� �C�u��+������ 'cause she was scrapping.��x������ [ Carol ]: You had to take
the good with the bad,��
KC�u��+"栩��� i.e.., if it was kind of dirty,��������� if it was kind of mixed people,�� �C�u��+9������ you took it because
it was all you had,��ܠ���� and if you didn't go there
you had nowhere to go.��
*C�u��+S������ ♪ Trumpet ♪���C�u��+p������ Well, at that time,�� �¡�� b it was illegal to have a house
party with only one sex.���C�u��+������� So you at least had
to have two women.��
��5 Now, you could have
45 men and two women.��
C�u@��+������� And as long as
the women were discreet��
Ѡ���� and could sit in the library,��L�ġ��� and let the boys do what
they liked, and answer the door,��
mC�u@��+��� there was no problem.��ݠ���� - What happened if
there weren't women there?��
L������ - They would raid it.���C�u��+堠���� They would absolutely raid it.��������� They would level it, the police.�� �C�u��,Ǡ���� It was well known that
the Toronto police��������� got their kicks
from picking up women�� C�u@��,����� taking them out to cherry beach.��������� Some were raped,
some were badly beaten up.��6�����l And they just left them there.��+C�u@��,2ꠧ��� I guess they got away with it��������� because who cared
about gay women?��n������ Gay women couldn't complain.��
C�u��,MĠ���� There was nobody to complain to.�� A����� � If you went to court
you didn't exist!��xC�u��,o"����� I never could come out
while I was teaching��
��5 because it was
right in my contract�� cC�u��,������� that I could be fired on
a Tuesday at 10 o'clock.����4 Well, you know what I mean.��bC�u@��,�U����� I'll never forget��������� one of the first
times at the Vanport,�� ������� I asked this older
woman beside me,���C�u@��,������ "Well, how long
have you been queer?"��
L�����
� She looked at me and said,��W�����) "It's not queer, you never
say queer, it's gay."���C�u@��,�w����� So I was told quite frankly
right then and there,��
Ѡ¡�� never use the word "Queer",
and I haven't since either.��C�u@��-�¡�� Men would bring their women
down to look at the queers.��
��5 They thought this was
Saturday night entertainment.���C�u@��-0�� And this really
appealed to us;��6�����y we would be sitting,
and they'd come in,��
m�����J and we'd turn our chairs around
and just stare at them��WC�u��-Rՠ���� through sort of
slightly closed eyes.��
�����
L When their women went
to the bathroom,�� �C�u��-gL����� we would follow them.�� �š�� Four or five of us would follow
these two terrified women,���C�u@�-������ and not do anything,
but just to see their eyes,��
Ҡ���� and to see the men wondering
what we were doing.��
LC�u@��-�o����� One night we got so
fed up we made a sign��
��ǡ��
� "Please don't feed the animals",
put it up, and just stared.��UC�u��-�٠���� I remember once we sat in a window
in a Detroit bar--��������� I think it was Detroit.���C�u@��-���š�� We were all in the window;
These guys would stand outside.��U������ They would hassle you
when you went in and out,��
mC�u��-�>����� because guys don't like
the idea that you're...��
������
� You're doing anything
with women, you know,��
+C�u@��.|����� when you're dressed like that.��������� And I can remember one time�� Ǡ����� they were all out there
catcalling and catcalling.��
lC�u��.$����� When people today
talk about harassment��ݠ���� they don't know what
they're talking about.��
*C�u@��.7��� This one time they're standing
out there yelling at us--��@������ I forget what they said--
you can imagine.���C�u��.T�¡�� And I just pulled my jacket
back and I showed my knife.�������W Said something stupid like���C�u��.ji����� "I'm wearing a knife
and I know how to use it",��W������ which is utterly ridiculous!���C�u��.~9����� I only knew how to
peel potatoes with it.��
m�����
� However, it worked!��ݠ����� ♪ Lounge music ♪���C�u��.�B����� [ Nairobi ]: Oh, well,
I'll tell you something,��
m�����
� I was "The queen".���C�u��/��ơ�� Actually, I was the only black
person I could really recall���C�u@��/)ᠡ��� being in the gay clubs.��������� Straight clubs,
oh yes, of course,��Ҡ���� there were a million of them.���C�u@��/A������ But in the gay bars
I was the only one�� ������ � that everybody was chasing.��z�ǡ��� I wish they would chase me now,
but I guess I'm too old now.��VC�u@��/b֠���� They say to hell with that...��y������ But I was one of the only ones,����ġ�� and you didn't see Chinese,
Japanese, nothing absolutely.��?C�u��/�u����� Just... just me.��Ҡ���� There was a lot of
prejudices at the time.���C�u��/�ࠩ��� We had our wasps... you know...��
L�����
� They didn't like
women of colour,��@C�u��/��� they didn't like anyone
who was different.��b������ I ended up going
to a black club.���C�u@��/�s�¡�� And at that time they were
considered "the black club",��
������
� and what attracted me was
the music was really good,���C�u@��/��¡�� it was very funky, and
everybody dressed really snazzy.��
���� And I thought, "Oh, this is
what I'm looking for."���C�u��0$����� This was part of
fulfilling my fantasy�� ����� c of looking good and being cool.��
�C�u��0&X�ġ�� And it was fast, it was cool
and it was in the nighttime.��5�����x So that's where I ended up.���C�u@��0=��� Actually, that's where
I came out, not in Vanport.��ܠ���� But in a place which was
supposedly a straight bar,��5C�u��0X������ but wasn't a straight bar,��B������ because there was people
from the street going there.��
LC�u@��0l۠���� And those were
the only people...��������� But the thing
I liked about it...��������� You could be whoever you
wanted to be in that bar.���C�u@��0���š�� It didn't matter because there
were actually black people,��x������ there were people
of white heritage, Asians,��
�C�u@��0�m����� and native people in there.��������� It was a place
where everybody belonged,�� ������� nobody judged you for
who or whatever you did.��
�C�u��0�נ���� The majority of the women
who were working��
�����
K and around the streets,
or into drugs��
C�u��0�n����� or into the prostitution��������� or into the dancing
were lesbian women.��aC�u��0�ڠ���� ♪ Burlesque music ♪���C�u@��19}����� They were with women.�� �����c They wouldn't identify
themselves as lesbian��
��¡��V or gay or anything... there
just was an unwritten code.��xC�u@��1YK����� They were with women.�� �����c ♪ You got me jumpin'
like a crazy clown ♪��a�ġ�� [ Narrator ]: Lauracouldn't quite remember��AC�u@��1x������ how she got backto Mitch's apartment.����á��� She'd stayed for onemore drink at the bar�� ������� and she never wantedthe night to end.���C�u��1�U����� ♪ Hey hey set me free ♪��ܠ���� ♪ stupid cupid
stop pickin' on me ♪��
�C�u��1�E����� ♪ hey hey set me free ♪��
������
� ♪ stupid cupid
stop pickin' on me ♪�� C�u��1Ι����� ♪ stupid cupid stupid cupid ♪��>C�u��1������ ♪ stupid cupid ♪���C�u��25����� So what would you
like to hear next?��破���* I don't think I could
dance another step.��5C�u��2 נ���� I'm exhausted.��c������ All right then.��
�����
� I'll choose one
for us.���C�u��2}������ Who's the woman
in the photograph?��������� Oh, that's Amelia Earhart.��
mC�u��2�1����� She was one hell of a pilot.�� 蠽���
+ Quite the hero for all
the women in the air force.��
�C�u��2������� I wanted to be just like her.����ɡÁ� Just take off one day and have
nothing between me and the gods��VC�u��2������ but the great big blue sky.�������� She's an incredible
looking woman.��
LC�u��2ꛠ���� Yeah...���C�u��3%c����� ♪ Fifties ballad ♪���C�u��3AH����� ♪ if you promised
that you'd call me ♪���C�u��3]o����� ♪ and I spent a thousand
nights just waiting ♪���C�u��3|1����� ♪ it would still still
still be worth it ♪���C�u��3�d����� ♪ just to hear your
voice when you called ♪���C�u��3�'����� ♪ if I ruled
the world completely ♪���C�u��3�Y����� ♪ but I had to be
a slave to love you ♪��jC�u��3������ ♪ it would still still
still be worth it ♪��2C�u��4 {����� ♪ it would still be
worth it my love ♪��C�u��4$ڠ���� ♪ unless unless
I'm holding you ♪��C�u��4D"����� ♪ what good can
these arms be ♪���C�u��4^U����� ♪ what use what use
are these lips of mine ♪���C�u��4~e����� ♪ if yours are
forbidden to me ♪���C�u��4�3����� ♪ if I had to die
tomorrow just to share ♪��#1C�u��4�+�š�� When Dorothy and I split up,
I left her actually for Vera.��������@ And Vera finally left Iris,��C�u��4�ʠ���� and then Vera and I
lived together.��y������ And in the beginning Dorothy
and Iris lived together.���C�u@��5
������ Then Iris and Vera.
Then Jeanne and Dorothy.����ġ��� And then when I left Vera,
Dorothy and Vera got together.���C�u��5,e����� So the only one that missed
out was Iris and Jeanne.��W������ But that didn't work out.���C�u��5B�� ♪ Piano music ♪��'C�u��5\\����� This woman came up the hall��
L�����
� and for the first
time in my life,��
LC�u��5qz����� I think I just about
dropped dead on the spot,��V�����w it was incredible,
she was so beautiful.�� cC�u@��5������� She was a Hungarian gypsy,��頭���, with jet black hair
and blue eyes.��x������ I just took one look
at her and I was toast.��xC�u��5�8����� I took her home
with me on the bus.�������a On the bus...���C�u��5���¡�� And it was very late, and
we were in downtown Vancouver��������� necking in the back of the bus.��5C�u@��5������ In 1963... pretty brave...
Pretty brave...���ġ��V And she was incredible because
she was like a real butch.���C�u��6^����� You had to look twice
to know she was a woman,�������V because she was really,
really skinny, no tits.���C�u��6 �¡�� Just strides and a t-shirt,
and men's shoes and tattoos�������` from her-- slicked-back
short hair--�� C�u��6;��� tattoos from her
wrists to her elbows.��
�����
L A real stereotypical butch.��
C�u@��6P[����� And I thought it was great.��Ǡ���� I'd never seen one
like that before��
L������ and I was mesmerized
by this woman.��C�u��6mk����� I was attracted to her
because she was like she was,��������� so I became
the fluffy little femme.���C�u��6�|����� The little...��X������ Heterosexual wife,
because that's what we were.��xC�u@��6�Ѡ���� We were just women who were
acting like heterosexuals.��@������ She cooked-- she thought
she was a better cook.���C�u@�6�0����� But I did the cleaning
and looking after her.��a������ The dutiful little wife
who never opened her mouth.��
�C�u@��6�Ơ���� Because if you did you
probably got a fist in it.���¡��a And you were obedient.
You only talked to other femmes.���C�u��6�/����� You didn't talk to other
butches, you weren't allowed.��@������ It was good for a poke too.���C�u��7������ And so we lived��B������ much as a straight married
couple would have lived���C�u��7%2����� it was disgusting!��������7 When I look at it now,
I cannot believe I did that.��
�C�u��7;|����� But I didn't know any better.
That's how it was.��ݠ���� But I remember one day
looking in the mirror��bC�u��7T@����� and saying, "Who are you?
What are you doing?"��
m�����J Dawn was a stone butch.��nC�u��7o;����� She would make love to me,��������� but I wasn't allowed to touch
her... ray was the same.���C�u��7������ That was fairly common
amongst our group.�� Ǡ����
It was pretty common
in the larger group, too.��C�u��7������� For years I had the scars of
this because she reacted��4�����w like I didn't know
what I was doing...��yC�u��7������� I didn't, but I wanted her
to teach me.��ݠ���� And the harder I tried,
the more she said,��6C�u��7�K����� "No.. No. You're no good.
Just forget it."��
*�����
* So for years I had
a complex about that,���C�u��7唠���� that it was me,
that I was not a good lover.��������� Well, after I broke up with her,���C�u@��7�y����� I immediately went
and got my hair cut,��+�����n bought some jeans
and a plaid lumberjack shirt��
*�¡��� and walked into the bar,
and some people were dismayed,��C�u@��8h����� but there was mostly cheers.��L������ The women were yelling,
"Yeah Steph, all right!"��
L����� They thought this was great.���C�u��86������ This was where--
the way it should be.��
������� When I met Jane I didn't
know anything about her,��
�C�u@��8Vs�š�� but I felt very attracted to her
and wanted to be with her����̡Ɓ@ because all of a sudden my world
opened up to something I wanted.���C�u��8u������ With my naivete I never realized������ that Jane was very much
entrenched into the street life.���C�u@��8���¡�� I stayed, really, together
with Jane about three years.����4 She would take me places,
down to L.A., to Nevada,��5C�u@��8���ɡÁ and kind of on a circuit type
thing we would go through there.��b������ It was a friend who
was of black heritage���C�u��8�R����� who came up to me,
and literally threw me�������W in front of a mirror and said,
"Is this really you?��
mC�u@��8�7����� She said,��7�����z "Remember this is my life,
I was brought up into this.��5������ You've got an education.
You don't have to do this."��C�u��9^����� I realized when I couldn't
recognize myself�� ������ � it was time to get out
of that situation.�� �C�u@��9렰��� And that's how
I got off the streets.�� b����� � I went to the Montreal club,��������� and the first evening
I was there,���C�u��9.�� I was talking to an older woman��������� who had been in the gay
scene for a long time.��
�C�u@��9D��ġ�� She could tell I was upset
about my marriage breaking up,��b������ and she said-- dear heart
she called me--���C�u��9aA�ġ�� "If you think it hurts to get
your heart broken by a man,��������@ wait 'till a woman does it."�� bC�u��9zG����� I didn't understand
exactly what she meant.��
L�����
� I thought, "A broken
heart's a broken heart."��
C�u��9�ߠ���� But it was different.��ޠ����! When it happened,
I realized what she was saying.��
�C�u��9��ġ�� Because I find being with
a woman is a lot more intimate,��������� a lot more shared
than with a man.�� AC�u��9�;����� So the pain, when you lose that,�� Ơá��
when you love somebody and
they don't love you any more,��C�u@��9Ԛ����� the pain is harder;
You're losing a part of you.��
+�����
m I never felt that when
I broke up with my husband.���C�u��9��� I thought I was losing him,��Ҡ����� and my family,
and my surroundings.���C�u��: d����� I never felt I was
losing a part of me,�� ������ � but when I had my first
heartbreak with a woman,��C�u��:"������ I felt I was losing
part of myself.��x������ Kind of sad.��cC�u��:8
����� ♪ Music ♪���C�u��:������� [ Nairobi ]: In 1970,
we made a big group.��������� It was the travelling band.���C�u��:�f����� Ricky and Rubyand the travelling band.��
l�����
� And it was a good band.���C�u@��:�堩��� We went to Churchill, Manitoba.��ݠ���� We went to fort Williams.�� Ǡ���� We went to a little
town called the pas,��5C�u��:�e����� and then Labrador
and Flin Flon.�� 蠬���
* And then Robyn-noranda,
Val-d'or,��
�C�u��;a����� seven islands...��W������ Mont-laurier.���C�u��;;����� There was no problem
running into sisters��
Ѡ���� because they're all over,
what can I say?���C�u��;5M����� There were lots of married women��
������
� that I went with,
especially in B.C.��C�u��;O=����� It was too bad
that the guys were so...��栺���) They were such bastards,
I would say, bastards.��xC�u��;k!����� Women-- it was this big
competition about women.��JC�u��;~������ Who's gonna have the first girl in town?��
������
� Who's gonna have--
as they say-- "the first lay"?���C�u��;�ᠳ��� There they are,
buying all these drinks,��b������ inviting these women,
doing stupid things...��
C�u@��;�Ҡ���� I would just sit there,
or finish my show.��
��6 And I did nothing.�������� I had somebody knocking
on my door or calling me.���C�u��;�%����� It was so beautiful,
they hated me!��
L������ They hated me for that.���C�u��;传���� They started to fight with me,
they called me names,�������� like you lesbian,
you this and you that.��6C�u@��;������� And I, how come we worked
for three years before��
L�����
� and everything was fine,��������� and now, because I'm alone--
my brother's gone--��
mC�u��<N����� you guys treat me this way.��6�ġ��� I used to walk off the stage
almost every night in tears.���C�u��<7=����� So one day I just said
to myself, "This is it."��
+�����
m And I said, "Guys,
you know what? Fuck you."���C�u��