Original subtitles

Mmm. A well-deserved vacation.

Give me the sunscreen.

Hey.

Hey! Wait a minute.

You said we were going to the colossus of Rhodes

and then hanging

at the hanging gardens of Babylon.

Not the cave of wonders. I'm not liking this.

It cannot be helped.

This wouldn't have anything to do

with your bonehead brother, would it?

Alas, yes.

His evil plan is finally complete.

Al, you can't let him get to me.

You know his tent flaps are not nailed down.

He still believes that the Nile runs that way.

If something should happen,

and I do not return...

You know what to do.

Yeah. Right.

I'm sure the bats and I will be very happy.

Give me the key...

Brother.

As usual,

you come too late, brother.

The cave is sealed,

and only the deliverer can open it.

The deliverer is a fairy tale.

I will find the key

and take the lamp for myself.

You could search for a thousand lifetimes

and never find it.

The power of the genie will never be yours.

You speak of a thousand lifetimes.

How would you like a thousand deaths?

[Gasps]

[Moans]

Fear not, brother.

Your wife and daughter will be well taken care of.

It's the least I can do.

Why do we not just kill him?

Because if he dies,

his first blood inherits the throne.

And we can't have that sniveling little Princess

telling us what to do, can we?

So we just let him sleep.

Precisely.

Is he...

Dead, my queen?

Worse.

He sleeps the sleep of a thousand deaths.

I warned him.

When one rules, one makes many enemies.

But the people love my father.

Evidently not all of them, Princess.

Leave us.

I want to be alone with my husband.

As you wish, your highness.

I must attend to my duties as...

Sultan.

At least until my dear brother awakens.

Princess Sheherazade: I don't trust him, mother.

Oh, it's here.

Your uncle is so consumed with power

he misses the obvious.

What is it?

Shh. Shh. Shh.

It's a map to the pieces of a key.

Key?

To the cave of wonders.

Your father told me if anything happened to him

to keep this safe,

and someone would come for it.

Who?

The deliverer.

The deliverer?

She's here.

Who, Calvin?

Valery Broushard.

The ivory tower of Reseda High.

Oh, man, she comes in here every Friday after ballet class,

and every Friday you say the same thing.

Why don't you do something different this time, Calvin?

Calvin: Like what?

Charley: Like ask her out.

She's the most popular girl in school.

She's not gonna go for me.

Trust me.

I got the answer to all your prayers right here.

Bam.

There you go, partner dude.

Sun-dried tomatoes and goat cheese.

No, thanks. I'm not hungry.

It's not for you. It's for her.

But she hasn't ordered yet.

Calvin...

This is what she always orders.

OK, now...

One slice of sun-fried goat-cheese tomatoes.

Here.

Oh. How sweet.

I didn't even have to order.

But aren't you forgetting something?

Forgetting something?

Yeah. We've got the small pizza,

sun-dried tomatoes, goat cheese...

Diet coke.

Diet coke.

Yeah.

I forgot the diet coke.

Hey. Hold up a sec, Einstein.

Think you're up for the question of the day?

You're gonna give me a shot

at the question of the day?

That's cute.

Anyway, see that killer 'vette out there?

Know who owns it?

Love to go to the dance in a car like that.

It's mine.

Really?

Yeah, really.

I, uh, I always drive the 'vette on Fridays.

So, uh, what do you say...

Calvin...

Is it a date?

Yes! Ho! My man, Calvin!

Way to go, way to go, way to go!

Whoo! Whoo!

Boom boom! Boom boom!

♪ Calvin gonna have some fun tonight ♪

♪ Calvin gonna have some fun tonight ♪

No.

What? What's the matter,

your John Travolta suit's in the wash?

Worse.

I told her I'd take her to the dance in the 'vette.

In Elliot's car?

Oh, Calvin, are you out of your mind?

Tell us something we don't know, Charley.

But you can chill on this one, Fullburp.

I'm gonna get you off the hook.

Really? You're gonna loan me your car?

You moron.

I'm going to the dance with Valery...

In my car.

OK, guys, listen up.

I gotta get to the bank before it closes.

Elliot, I want you to wash up

that box of old pots I bought at the auction.

Calvin, you're out of here.

Have a good time at the dance.

But, dad, I was gonna go to the dance.

Oh, gee, let me think about this.

B-plus average. D-minus average.

He goes. You stay.

Bye, Mr. Knockbest.

Where do you think you're going?

The dance.

Um, I brought all my stuff

to go from here and everything.

Let me explain something to you, Fulldork.

I am a senior.

You are a waste

of high school gymnasium space.

Ergo, you stay here and wash the pots,

and I'm gonna go fix my hair.

Mmm!

Finally someone rubbed the lamp.

Quick, I have to save Aladdin.

But first, I want a piece of that.

Mmm. Oily, but good.

I was having a little bit of a sugar dip...

But I'm back in the zone.

OK, camel kid,

go get the guy who rubbed the lamp.

I rubbed the lamp.

[Plop] No.

I hate my life.

Ugh.

OK...

My name is Achmed,

and I am the genie of the lamp.

And I've been in there...

On vacation...

For...

What millennium is it?

Um, it's the 20th century.

Get out a Baghdad.

You mean I've been locked in that crappy little tchatchka

for 1,200 years?

What are you talking about?

We're going back in time. We're gonna save Aladdin.

No. Not me.

Not again.

I'm not going.

There's nothing you can do to make me.

Ooh! Aah.

Ooh. Aah!

Ooh. Aah.

Except maybe that.

Now, listen.

Aladdin has an evil brother Luxor

who has gone postal.

You have to get me out of the lamp

so I can stop him.

But you're already out of the lamp.

Now.

But...

1,200 years ago, which is my now--

not your now. My now then--

I am in that verkhahkta cave

stuck in that lamp.

Now, in case you haven't noticed,

I am a genie.

There are rules. There are regulations.

I cannot change history.

And that...

That's where you come in.

Get me out of that cave, Calvin,

and together we can stand up

and save Aladdin.

Stand up together.

I can't even stand up for myself.

Stop with the insecurity thing.

It's very annoying.

You have got to take responsibility

for rubbing the lamp.

OK?

Now pay very close attention.

An important word is going to be uttered by moi.

It's your...

Destiny.

Destiny?

But where do I go?

What am I gonna do?

Oh, did I forget to tell you the best part?

You're the deliverer.

Whoo!

Oh!

Whoa!

Sire,

considering the sentiment of the people,

I do not think it wise to be out on the street.

Nonsense.

I love being out among my people...

Taking whatever I want.

Please, I barely have enough to feed my family.

And that is too much.

My money. My money.

Hmm. How agreeable.

Now whose turn?

A thousand pardons, effendi.

Get away from me, you leper!

Guards! Seize him!

This is no leper.

He's only a thief.

Mmm. Kill him.

Rishad: Certainly, sire.

Oh!

The deliverer!

The evil brother!

Seize him!

[Sniffing]

Interesting entrance.

Yeah.

How do I explain that?

You may start by telling me

your business here in Basra.

Um, school field trip?

I think not.

Shall I kill him?

Yes.

No.

On second thought,

take them both

to the house of pain.

Ooh. Good.

[Snaps]

Calvin: I knew this was a bad idea.

Hey, is anyone listening to me?

At last,

the lamp is finally within my grasp.

So what is this house of pain, anyway?

It is where

you will be one with the rats.

Ha ha ha!

Seems our friend has been kicked

by one too many camels.

It's too crazy.

What is too crazy?

Nothing. I mean...

Get ready.

Hope this works.

Obi Wan Kenobi on computer: Luke, behind you!

Luke, use the force.

The force?

I'll explain later.

Move!

Out of my way! Get out of my way!

Come here!

You're not from here.

Oh, you could tell, huh?

Calvin Fuller from Reseda.

My friends call me Ali Baba.

Ali Baba?

The great Ali Baba?

Yes.

The man with a thousand prices on his head.

After them! I want them!

Come, let's have some fun.

Out of my way, you fools!

Get out! This way! Stop! You there!

After them!

After them!

Lunch.

There they are!

Whoa!

Quick! After them! I want them!

I want to kill them myself!

I want to kill! I want everything!

Don't just lie there!

Get after them, you dogs!

Get out of my way!

Out! Out!

Look.

Hmm.

Now...

They must be here somewhere.

[Bleating]

The guards are unusually persistent today.

It's me.

They must know I'm here to save Aladdin.

You?

How can you save Aladdin?

You're just a boy.

A boy?

Uh-oh.

It's them! After them!

Let's get out of here.

Come, Calvin.

Out of my way!

This way.

Out of my way!

Aah!

Quick.

Oof.

Oh.

Great. Dead end.

Aah!

Ooh.

Oh.

Aah.

Ooh!

After them!

After them, you fools!

Follow me.

Whoa! Whoa!

Aah!

That was close.

You did well. Hurry.

Over this wall lies our freedom.

I can't.

I have to go to the palace.

The palace?

How else am I gonna get to the cave of wonders?

The cave of wonders?

Right.

But first I really gotta see the queen.

I said I need to see the queen,

not Bethe queen.

Only a sultan or a handmaid

may enter the royal quarters.

[Giggling]

Thank you, Achmed.

Girls, girls.

Hello, Ali.

Who's your friend?

Why do I get the feeling you've been here before?

How dare you frolic while the palace is in mourning?

Have you no respect?

Why do you not bow?

[High-pitched voice] Uh, my knees pop.

It's really embarrassing.

I know every face in this palace,

and I do not recognize either of you ladies.

Whoa. Hold it.

Um, the genie sent me here.

Genie?

Yeah. You know, big guy, lots of smoke.

It's all true, Princess.

Silence. I did not address you.

Who are you?

I asked you a question.

The deliverer.

Surely you cannot be the deliverer.

Well, that's what the genie told me.

Princess!

Why do you enter my private quarters?

Pardon my intrusion.

I am looking for a thief and a boy.

Look around.

I see only girls here.

Hello.

I have not seen you before.

Oh, god.

Allow me to introduce you

to our newest flower in the garden--

Fatima.

She has just arrived on the galley from...

[High-pitched voice] Sheboygan.

Sheboygan.

Sheboygan?

Perhaps you would like to get to know her better.

[Whispering] What?

Just go.

[High-pitched voice] Um, yes.

Yes, come. Come.

Go. You may use my private quarters.

Mmm.

You smell divine.

Um, old spice.

Oh, please, just one kiss for little Hassim?

OK, but first close those beady little eyes.

Hurry.

Hassim does not like to wait.

Now, now, you naughty boy.

Close those eyes.

Give it to me, my little puppet.

Mmm.

You got it!

Unh!

Calvin: He doesn't look so good.

He sleeps the sleep of a thousand deaths.

You'd think after 5 or 6 he wouldn't care.

He is the one I spoke of, mother.

The one who says he is the deliverer.

Welcome.

We have waited a long time for you to come.

Not him, mother.

Him.

Ahem.

You?

I find it hard to believe myself.

I find it impossible.

And yet, daughter,

the legend states the deliverer

will come from a land we least expect.

Calvin: It's a map.

Queen Jasmine: To the cave of wonders.

What are, um, these doohickeys?

This is where you will find

the pieces of the key.

The key?

Your journey will take you far beyond the sea of sand

to the valley of death.

Death?

Surely the deliverer is not afraid of his own death?

Well, his, no.

Mine, yeah.

Come, deliverer. Time to start our quest.

Mother...

You're not going to allow that thief to accompany us.

The journey is far too dangerous

for the heir to the throne.

What?

Ali Baba will protect the deliverer.

Yes, but who will protect the deliverer from Ali Baba?

Come.

You haven't much time.

Allah works in mysterious ways.

If a boy is to deliver us...

Then so be it.

Ali: Come, Calvin.

We have a long journey ahead of us.

Your excellency.

Mmm.

Colorful entrance.

Oh.

Thank you, master.

Uh, the...

Don't tell me.

The prisoners have escaped.

Well, yes.

I will call the palace guard.

Rishad...

Yes, your magnificence?

Who knows of this?

No one.

That is how it shall remain.

There you are.

I was beginning to wonder how long I'd have to wait.

Camels.

Bitchin'.

These camels belong to me.

Where they go, I go.

Or you may try the royal stables

down the road.

I'm sure the guards would love to show you theirs.

I'll take this one.

Very well.

You shall ride Sirocco.

Oh, Sirocco. Like the car?

[Breaks wind]

No...

Like the wind.

Sire...

They flee into the desert.

Your powers of observation astound me.

I will go after them and kill them.

Not today, Rishad.

It is all part of my plan.

It is?

Only that witless boy can get me the lamp.

And with it,

I shall be the most powerful man on earth.

Zah! Zah!

Hey, Ali, check it out!

Zah! Zah! See?

I almost got it.

Hey, cool hat. When do I get one?

This turban marks our clan.

It is not given freely. It is earned.

Earned?

If you really want one of those silly looking things,

wait until he's sleeping and steal it from him.

That is how you join a clan of thieves.

Here...

To give you strength.

Mmm.

Beef jerky.

Gecko.

Gecko?

You mean those cute little lizards?

Ali: Mmm.

Much better than snake.

So the deliverer does have human needs.

Look, Princess...

Isn't there something else I can call you

besides Princess?

My name is Sheherazade.

Um...

How about I just call you Sherry?

You are the deliverer.

You may call me what you wish.

Hey, Ali, in my time, we call this a dead end.

In mine, we call it home.

Behold...

The incredible power of Ali Baba.

Hey, wait a minute, Ali.

What is it?

I've always wanted to do this.

Open sesame!

How could you know the secret?

I'm the deliverer...

Remember?

Hey, just like summer camp.

So this is where I meet the 40 thieves, right?

Ha. 40 thieves.

I have only my 3 brothers.

Ali! Brother, you have returned!

Ali Baba and the 3 thieves?

Ali: Hummis,

Kous Kous,

and Bob.

Well, at least he's not named after food.

Bob-- short for Kebab.

Gather your things, my brothers,

for we ride on the greatest adventure of a lifetime.

We are going to Aqaba to look for girls?

No, we ride for the cave of wonders.

Ahh! Then we are after the treasure!

No. We ride to save our beloved sultan...

Aladdin.

Huh? Eh?

Just gather our supplies.

Ali?

Yes, brother?

Aladdin is our enemy.

Why would we want to save him?

We ride for treasure, not for a sultan.

We will make our move when the time is right.

Jasmine: You asked to see me?

Ah, my queen.

You have never looked more radiant.

Your perception needs an education...

My husband's brother.

Indeed I am, but I am also your sultan.

And a sultan has... Needs.

I'm not interested in your needs, sir.

You will be soon.

This used to be such a happy place.

I hate happy.

Ya-hoo!

Ya-hoo!

Calvin: An oasis. You think they have a hot tub?

[Laughter]

For a lamp, it does not burn very long.

Oh, it's not a lamp.

Here, I'll show you.

It's called a camera.

See? It takes your picture.

It is a moment capturer.

[Singing]

[Whirring]

Problem gums.

Haven't you ever seen anyone brush their teeth before?

I guess not.

[Snoring]

Ali?

What's wrong?

I thought I heard something, but it was nothing.

Go back to sleep.

Ali?

You're not just in this for the treasure, are you?

I give you my word, Calvin.

Oh! Hey!

I warned you about him.

Now what's wrong?

My father's life

is in the hands of a thief and boy.

What could be right about that?

Look, all I wanted to do was go to a dance.

I didn't ask to be here, either.

You mean you are here against your will?

Well, I...

I thought I was.

I gotta climb that?

You are the deliverer.

The minaret of Allah.

But, brother, no one has ever climbed it

and lived to tell about it.

Shh. Shh. Someone's got to do it.

Calvin, it cannot be done.

My father has hidden the key too well.

You'll need wings to reach it.

Wings, right. Really big wings.

Yeah. Really big wings.

Sherry, you're a genius!

May Allah guide your path.

As long as it's not straight down.

I'll see you at the bottom.

Remember what I told you. When we get close,

you reach out with this and snag the key.

Calvin, are you sure this will fly?

Hey, if it doesn't,

you can scatter my ashes over the harem.

Aah!

My god, we're going to die!

Calvin! Whoa!

Oh, Calvin! Help!

Oh, no! Aah!

Lean right!

[Gasping]

Hey, you can open your eyes.

Oh, my goodness!

We're flying!

This is amazing! We're actually flying!

Calvin, I've always wanted to do this!

This is my dream!

I think it's right over there!

Straight ahead.

All right.

Look, there it is.

That thing's bigger than I thought.

OK?

Let's see if we can't get some altitude, huh?

It's the key!

You see it?

Yes, I see it.

Here. Get ready. Take the stick.

I've got it. OK.

Oh!

OK, what?

Lean. We've got to straighten out a bit.

All right.

You ready?

Yes.

Now!

I got it!

Pull it up!

We got it! Ha ha! We got it!

Yes! Yes!

All right!

That was bitchin'!

All right!

[Giggling]

Now we celebrate our victory with a special treat.

What's that, Ali?

Dessert.

Those--those are bugs.

My brothers will be supremely insulted

if you refuse.

Right.

[Crunch]

[Chuckling]

How does it taste, Calvin of Reseda?

Like, um, chicken.

Slimy... white... chicken.

Princess?

I have no time for your games.

We still have a long way to go.

You like her, yes?

I don't know.

You should tell her.

Are you crazy?

She's...

Guys like me don't get girls like her.

As long as you think that way

it will be that way.

Yeah, but we're too different.

We speak different languages.

There is only one language of the heart.

Speak to her in it, and she will listen.

Calvin...

Calvin...

Calvin...

Aah! Oh, yuck!

Oh, gross.

It seems Sirocco has finally found his mate.

Oh, great.

Wait.

What?

You have much to learn about our land.

Um, how deadly is that thing?

You would not have had time to scream in agony.

That long, huh?

[Giggling]

What are you laughing at?

He just saved my life.

But how do you know he did not put it there himself?

Calvin: That's a big sandbox.

Ali: It is the sea of sand.

No food, no water,

no living thing until the other side.

What's on the other side?

The valley of death.

Great.

Water.

Water.

Haagen Dazs.

Haagen Dazs.

Do you see that?

What?

I'll race you. Zah!

Calvin, no!

Zah!

Calvin, stop!

Stop! It's not real!

Oh, I don't care! I got to have a whopper!

[Brays]

Sherry: Zah!

Let's go, Sirocco.

Zah!

Zah!

Oh! Uhh!

Ohh.

Are you all right?

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

I could've sworn it was right over there by that dune.

There is nothing.

The desert plays tricks on your mind.

Oh, you mean a mirage?

Uh-huh.

So that's not a hurricane, right?

[Wind blowing]

Oh, by Allah.

Calvin!

Calvin, get down! It's too late!

Calvin!

Don't leave me!

Sherry!

Calvin, where are you going?

Where's Ali?

Calvin, don't leave me!

[Wind howling]

Help!

Be careful, Calvin!

Help!

Help me!

Calvin: Sherry?

Yes?

Is that your hand?

No.

[Blows]

[Blows]

[Coughs]

[Laughs]

[Laughs]

[Tosses]

[Camels bray]

Come on.

We got to find Ali.

Calvin: Do you see anybody?

They got to be here somewhere.

There!

There they are!

I got an idea.

Come on.

Let's go.

Let's rock.

Ha ha!

Aah! Aah!

Sherry: Aah!

Ha ha!

Whoo!

Whoo!

You all right?

My brothers.

Hurry. Help them.

Sherry: Your riding has much improved, Calvin.

Yeah, I can almost keep up.

Sherry?

Yes?

Do you have a boyfriend?

If you mean a prince,

I have not yet met one who is my equal.

In other words, no.

And yourself?

How many are in your harem?

My harem?

I wish.

I can't even get a date to the dance.

A date?

But why would you dance with a date?

No, no, I--I mean...

I haven't met anyone, either.

Oh, you're alone.

I know what that's like.

But you're a Princess.

Everybody wants to go out with you.

Don't they?

[Clicks tongue]

Please.

Please wake up.

Return to us before it's too late.

Luxor: You rise early, my queen.

Just as my dear brother remains...

Unrisen.

I still have hope.

And I grow impatient.

I will never forsake him.

A word of advice, my nearly departed brother's wife--

rule with me

or die with my enemies.

Don't tell me--

the valley of death.

We'll make camp here

and begin our search at first light.

Why must we wait, thief?

It is unwise to disturb the dead at night.

Scissors cuts paper.

What are scissors?

It's like 2 knives. They kind of hin--

[distant howling]

Do you hear that?

It seems to be calling your name.

Oh, really?

Like I know anyone in the valley of death.

We must follow it.

Yeah, sure...

First thing in the morning.

Calvin.

I know the thief has no courage,

but I hope the deliverer is not counted with him.

All right, I'm with you.

[Wind blows]

Calvin: What is this place?

It's the final home for those who die in battle.

Some say there's an army of ghostly warriors

that guard the dead.

Great. 1,001 nights of the living dead.

[Camel breaks wind]

Sirocco...

What are you doing here?

He misses you.

All right.

Come on.

That's it.

What's it?

The moon.

It's just like the amulet, see?

[Moaning]

Come on. The sound's coming from over here.

[Moaning]

Here.

Hold this.

Sherry: The key.

Uhh!

[Thunder]

What's that?

[Neighing]

The guardians of the dead.

New rule--

never take jewelry off a dead guy.

Sherry: Oh, my gosh!

Uhh!

Fire gets them?

Sherry: They're coming back!

Come on. There's still 2 left.

They're coming back, Calvin!

Come on.

I've got an idea.

[Sirocco brays]

Sirocco, now!

[Breaks wind]

Sherry: It worked!

[Sirocco brays]

Maybe you are the deliverer.

You all right?

I was making a wish.

Really?

Can you tell me, or...

Do you have to keep it a secret

for it to come true?

No, I may share it with you,

because it will never come true.

Remember when you asked me if I had a boyfriend?

Yeah.

That was pretty lame, huh?

I was just a kid then.

That was yesterday.

Well, yesterday and 1,200 years.

It matters not.

Your question was no more lame

than my reply.

Calvin...

Yeah?

Why could you not have been a prince?

Ali: Are you sure this is the way?

Calvin: That's what the map says.

We're going to make it, Sherry.

Calvin: It's got to be around here somewhere.

I just hope we're not too late.

This is it.

Now what?

The key?

Oh, yeah. Right.

[Rumbling]

Did I do that?

Fulfill your destiny.

Yeah!

[Excited chatter]

Oh, my god!

Calvin, there.

By all the grains of sand

in all the deserts of the world...

Hey, Ali...

Remember why we're here?

Of course, Calvin.

How could I forget?

It is time, my brothers.

[Others laugh]

[Lava bubbling]

Calvin: Ali, no!

A thousand pardons, Calvin...

But here is where we must part.

You can't do this.

You gave me your word.

You have fulfilled your destiny.

It is time for me to fulfill mine.

You were right.

It matters not. Rub the lamp.

The genie can help us.

He can't.

His powers don't work in the cave of wonders.

What is it, brother?

[Sighs]

It is the boy.

Leave if you must, brothers...

But I cannot.

We are united in this, brother.

Bob: Wherever you go, we go.

There will be other treasures.

There's no way out of here.

There's gotta be.

I will never save my father.

We'll never get out of here.

Yeah, we will.

What is it?

Fishing line.

300-pound test. Here.

I use it

to tie pizzas to my bike,

like this.

What's that?

Swiss army knife.

[Gasp]

Chicks dig 'em.

300-pound test...

Fishing line...

Pizza?

You come from very interesting times.

It's a laugh a minute. Come on.

The crowd's on their feet.

Fuller's going for 3.

He's up...

He shoots... He scores!

Yes! Nothing but net.

Impossible.

That's why I'm here,

to make the impossible possible.

Hold on.

Calvin, uh...

Let's go.

Aah!

Whoo!

That was incredible.

You are finer

than any prince, Calvin Fuller,

and greater than any king.

Let's go get your dad.

Uhh! [Gasp]

Calvin: Luxor.

The deliverer.

How nice to see you again.

Thank you for the lamp.

I was wrong, Calvin. Forgive me.

So you can betray us again?

As usual, Princess, you are wrong.

They were on their way to save you.

Can't think why.

Let go of me.

Calvin!

Let her go, Luxor.

She is no longer your concern.

At last...

The genie is mine!

A thousand pardons, Calvin.

10,000 pardons, Calvin.

100,000?

Yes, exactly.

Search the cavern.

See if there's any way out of here.

Ali...

You planned it all along, didn't you?

You were just in it for the treasure.

I've dreamed of this treasure

my entire life,

and now I have it.

All of it.

And it pleases me not.

[Throws coins into chest]

Is it true that...

You were coming back to warn us?

Or was that just a mirage, too?

My head told me to forget you,

but my heart would not allow it.

Before you came, I was nothing.

A thief...

And I was glad in it.

But you raised me on a cloud of courage.

You spoke of me

as if I was some great warrior.

You called me a hero.

I have spent a lifetime running.

That is what makes a good thief,

and I am the best.

Hey...

Anyone can run.

I ought to know.

But it takes a hero

to stand up and face his fears.

I am no hero.

Yeah, you are.

You just don't know it yet.

Ali! Ali!

We found the passage!

Come!

Let's go.

Looks like a way out.

Over there.

Do you hear water?

[Screaming]

Calvin: Sirocco!

Let's go save the Princess.

OK, OK, OK. I'm coming.

Keep your shorts on.

Yo.

Oh... great.

More bad news.

Genie...

Make me the most powerful man

in the world.

Done.

Make me the richest man in the world.

Done.

Well?

Well what?

Your third wish.

How about a vacation?

Herculaneum?

Pompeii?

I heard Vesuvius was hot.

I think I'll keep it.

[Door creaks]

Back in the lamp.

[Groans]

Your Worshipfulness?

Yes?

The palace is filled

with gold and jewels.

And?

And...

All the leaders of all the lands

are here,

begging to pledge their allegiance to you.

I want you to do something for me.

Anything, your most magnificent excellence.

Build a gallows.

A beheading?

My favorite holiday.

Who is the guest of honor?

The Princess.

[Laughing]

[Camel brays]

You ready to go, Ali?

Something is missing.

Yeah, about 100 more men.

No, it's not that.

How can you ride with us

looking like someone from Reseda?

There.

With this, you are truly our brother.

Now we are Ali Baba and the 4 thieves.

[Cheering]

Cool.

[Shouting]

Today I wipe the last trace of my brother

from the face of this earth.

Wait.

Yes?

You win.

Free my daughter,

and I will consent to rule by your side.

I no longer need you, madam.

I have the lamp.

[Crowd gasps]

For crimes against the kingdom...

For high treason...

For consorting with the enemy...

For willfulness and disobedience...

For stealing the royal camels...

[Camel breaks wind]

Ew! Eww!

Luxor Al Hasred,

supreme ruler of the Universe,

does hereby proclaim Princess Sheherazade

a traitor.

The sentence is...

Death.

I never liked you.

[Brays]

Do something.

I knew you'd come.

Of course.

Rishad: Guards!

After them!

Let's go.

My toes.

Ohh.

Master, they're escaping.

Find them...

And kill them!

After them! They're getting away! Come on!

Go! Move!

Go! Move!

Get them! Get them!

Do not let them get away!

Thank you, Ali Baba.

I'm forever your servant.

We will save your father,

or we will die trying.

And I was worried about asking a girl to dance.

Let's go.

Hey, back there...

What did you whisper in Sirocco's ear?

I told him I would light the next one.

[Gasp]

Well?

The passage is heavily guarded.

Then we'll have to go in another way.

There is no other way.

[Donkey braying]

Calvin: Sherry...

What's that?

A trader with oil for the palace. Why?

Think it's time to do a little trading of our own.

Die, infidel. Heh heh heh.

Oil for the supreme ruler of the Universe.

Hurry. Time's wasting.

Yeah. Yeah.

[Whistles]

Let's go.

I'll eat it on the way.

[Gasp]

Sorry, boys. Kitchen's closed.

[Sniffs]

Old spice?

Oh, no.

Get him!

[Yelling]

Heh heh heh heh.

Huh?

Uhh.

Aah!

Strike!

Aah! Aah!

Ha ha!

Kick him!

Good shot.

Shall we?

Let's go.

Come on!

[Chuckling]

This is it,

the door to Luxor's tower.

Any chance of you guys giving up peacefully?

Go! Rrr!

I guess not.

Get the lamp. We'll hold them off.

Sir, we are defeated!

Be quiet, you miserable worm.

Oh, now what?

Genie, I command you,

kill the deliverer.

Why do you laugh at me?

That was your third wish,

but you're not gonna get it.

Genies can't kill.

Genie rules.

Next time...

Read the manual.

I don't have the boy...

But I still have you,

and that means Aladdin will die.

They'll never get the lamp.

Sire, please take me with you!

You may have saved the Princess,

but you will never save Aladdin.

Hurry! He's getting away!

He has the lamp!

Without it, my father will die!

We must stop him!

How?

I know.

A magic carpet?

Hurry!

Well, how do you start this thing?

You command it.

Giddyup.

Not again.

[Horse neighs]

[Whistles]

Ha ha.

Where is that boy?

Ohh!

Uh-oh.

Uhh!

Give me back my lamp.

Whoa. Are you nuts?

Possibly.

You miserable specimen.

You've ruined everything.

Does that hurt?

I never want to forget this moment.

You won't.

Aah!

[Screaming]

Aah!

Oh, no.

[Breaks wind]

Ohh.

Mother.

You're safe.

Yo, Calvin.

Good to see you, homes.

You made it,

and you were worried you weren't good enough.

Look at you.

[Sniff sniff]

When was the last time you changed that shirt?

Hey, it wasn't exactly a 3-hour tour, OK?

All right, all right.

Shake it out.

The important thing is you did it,

and you did it well.

I thought I'd never see you again.

Father.

Daughter.

[Groaning]

Much has happened.

Don't ask.

I do not know who you are,

and yet I feel...

We've been friends for eternity.

You slept through most of it.

The deliverer.

The deliverer.

Calvin Fuller, sir,

from Reseda.

Thank you, Calvin Fuller,

for bringing us all together.

Ali Baba, sire.

Once a thief, now at your service.

Thank you, Ali Baba.

Come. Our people are waiting.

Hey. Don't everybody thank me at once.

[Cheering]

It is time?

I have to go home, Sherry.

Then it is true? You are leaving us?

Yeah.

Every hero ought to have one of these.

Swiss army knife.

Chicks dig 'em.

Oh.

Thank you, brother.

I will never forget you.

I would give you my word,

but what good is the word of a thief?

Very good.

I thought you could use this.

I'll never forget you.

No matter where...

No matter when...

I will find you.

Calvin, my boy!

I am at your disposal

to take you anywhere that you want at any time.

You want to see the pyramids go up,

you got it.

What about the ice age?

It's awesome.

What do you think?

I hear Reseda is nice this time of year.

Yeah.

Yee-ha!

Very funny, Achmed.

Elliot.

Fuller.

Hey, um, nice zit.

Say hello to the afterlife.

[Groans]

Hey, Elliot, can I borrow your car tonight?

Gee, thanks.

Go on, Calvin. Do the right thing.

Thanks, Charley.

I will.

Hey, Valery, look, um,

about tonight...

You're never gonna forget it.

Look, Valery...

That 'vette out there, it...

It's not mine.

Not yours?

Nope.

Then you can forget about tonight.

That's what I thought.

Hey, Charley.

Give those back to Elliot when he wakes up.

You don't want to go to the dance

in that old thing.

Sherry!

Ohh.

What are you doing here?

Let's just say you're my first wish.

First? What about the rest?

You'll see.