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Hey, Hoss.

Ho-Hoss, listen to this. This is something.

This is really something. Look, Joe,

my breakfast is really something.

If you would just let me eat it, please?

I-It says right here, "Inspector Foote of the Yard

"captured the killer by the red clay

he discovered on the murderer's boots."

Pass the eggs, will you?

Pass the e...

I tell you about one of the greatest feats in the world

of criminology and all you can say to me is "pass the eggs"?

No.

pass the ham, too.

Ham.

What's the use?

I'm trying to broaden your mind and all-all you're

thinking about is broadening your middle.

Look, Little Joe, you broaden what you want to broaden.

I'll broaden what I want to broaden. All right?

Ah, good morning. Good morning, Pa.

Morning, Hoss, Little Joe.

Oh, good m... Uh, good morning, sir. Sorry.

Little Joe, I've been meaning to talk to you.

The last couple of weeks you've been doing nothing

but reading that detective stuff.

Joseph, I don't know how many times

I've told you... Not... Not to read at the table.

I'm-I'm sorry, Pa.

Joseph, it's not just your reading at the table.

It's that every time I've looked at you

in the last couple of weeks you've

got your-your nose

buried in some detective novel.

It's just that every time I go to put the book down,

I-I get involved in another interesting case,

that's all. Really?

Well, now, I have a very interesting case for you.

A C-case for me?

Yes. I have a case of horseshoes

waiting at the livery stable to be picked up by you as soon

as you've finished your breakfast.

And I have a deposit I'd like you to leave

at the bank for me, too.

Hoss, you'd better go into town with him.

Make sure he doesn't buy any more of those crime novels.

Right, Pa.

My son, the detective.

Whoa.

Oh, hi, Charlie, how are you?

Oh, fine, Hoss, fine. How are you?

Oh, couldn't be better. Hiya, Joe.

What's the matter with your brother-- ain't he well?

Yeah, he's all right. He's just all wrapped up

reading about Scotland Yard.

Hmm. You'd think with a range as big as yours,

a fella'd have enough to learn

without reading about somebody else's yard.

Yeah, yeah, well, uh, never mind about...

Charlie, Pa tells me, uh, you got

some horseshoes here for us, is that right?

You betcha, all ready to go.

Fine. Look, if you'll load 'em on the wagon

and water these horses down for us, I'd appreciate it.

Me and Joe's got to go down to the bank. We'll be back

in a minute. Have 'em ready for you when you get back, Hoss.

Joe.

Why, hi there, Pa, I didn't know...

Morning, Hoss.

Good morning, Mr. Barnes.

Good morning, Miss Bessy Sue.

Good morning, Hoss.

I would like to speak to the manager of this bank.

You're speaking to him, gentlemen.

Tom Barnes, sir.

Harry Perkins, until recently a resident of New York City.

Mr. George Simms, my associate of many years.

How do you do, sir.

Uh, come in, gentlemen. Thank you.

Well, now, may I help you, gentlemen?

The reason we're here, I'm expecting a sizable amount

of cash arriving in Virginia City within the next few days.

And I would like to open an account here at your bank.

Yes, yes, certainly, certainly.

I have the new account forms right here.

Um, first things first, Mr. Barnes.

I am concerned with the safety of your bank.

Now, I've heard and read about the bank robberies

and the holdups you people have out here.

You can understand that I...

Mostly exaggerations, sir.

I can assure you your money will be quite safe here in our bank.

I'll accept that, but for my own peace of mind,

I would like to see your vault.

Yes, well...

Um, well, I-I don't know.

Your request is rather unusual.

So is the size of my deposit, Mr. Barnes.

Oh, yes, yes.

Uh...

no, I can't see that it would be any harm in it.

Uh, follow me, gentlemen.

I think you'll be quite impressed with our vault.

We just installed it a year ago.

And it's made by the same firm who makes vaults

for most of the New York banks.

There you are, sir.

The finest steel in the world.

And a three-stage combination.

The most modern safe on the market today.

I have to tell you, sir, that this is the vault held

in the highest esteem by myself and my colleagues.

Thank you a lot, Miss Bessy Sue.

You sure do make bankin' a pleasure.

You're welcome.

Joe, will you go solve a crime or something.

Miss Bessy Sue,

uh, there's gonna be a dance this Friday night

at the Grange Auditorium, and I was thinking maybe that...

Oh, I'm sorry, Hoss, but I've already had six invitations,

but I'll save you a dance.

She'll save you a dance, she'll save you a dance.

D-Did you see that? Did you see that?

I sure did, ain't she got the prettiest eyes you ever...

I'm not talking about Bessy Sue.

I'm talking about the fellas who went in the back of the bank

with Mr. Barnes.

Well, what about them?

They were asking about the safe.

Well, so what?

So, I just read a chapter in the book

that tells you exactly the same thing.

These bank robbers come into the bank.

They tell the manager they're worried

about their money being safe.

He shows them all over the place.

The next thing you know, they've robbed it.

Joe, will you stop all this imagining.

Just like Pa said, you been readin' too many...

too many of these danged detective books.

Hoss, I'm telling you...

I'm telling you that we're going right now.

Now Pa sent me into town to take care of you,

and that's exactly what I'm gonna do, now git.

Hoss, I'm telling you, it's in...

Charlie, how much do we owe you?

I'll tell you in a minute, Hoss.

Wait! Stop!

So, been reading too many books, eh?

Come on, let's go.

Whoa, whoa, h-hold it.

Hurry up.

Get out of the way, Charlie!

Giddap! Come on!

You all right, brother?

I don't know, Little Joe.

I reckon I am.

Oh, good.

Dad-burnit, we had our chance, and we missed it.

Well, it looks like you're gonna get your chance again

because them two desperadoes is comin' back.

Sorry to have yelled like that, but you forgot your case.

Well, thank you very, very much.

How forgetful of me.

Our bank aims to please.

I can see that.

I think our relationship is destined to be very profitable.

See you soon.

Yeah, well, there's...

there's something funny going on here.

There-there's definitely something funny going on.

You're dad-burned right there's something funny going on

around here, and I'll tell you what it is.

As a matter of fact, something hilarious is going on.

It's very funny, number one, that I drive off

in a wagon that ain't even hitched up.

Stop that!

Now, dad-burnit, Joe, we got to get them horseshoes delivered

out there at the ranch somehow.

Now, come on, help me.

Hey, look.

Look, they're going in the hotel.

Well, I'll be darned.

Now where'd you reckon they was gonna sleep, on the street?

Come on, let's get over there and find out what's going on.

Joe, will you... will you stop this nonsense?

We got to get them horseshoes out there to the ranch.

Now look, I know what I know, and I feel what I feel.

Now, I'm gonna go over to that hotel

and find out what I can find out.

And you can either come with me, or you can stay here.

Here you are.

Thank you. Thanks.

Go on over there and keep him busy.

Keep him busy doin' what?

Talk to him-- talk-talk about the weather, anything.

Go on, go on. Go on.

Hoss, Joe.

What can I do for you?

Howdy, Bob.

Well, I just thought I'd come over

and talk to you about the weather.

The weather? Mm-hmm.

Well, I haven't thought about it at all.

You ain't thought about the weather?

No.

Well, a man ought to think about the weather once in a while.

I'll bet you ain't even looked out today, have you?

No, I can't say I have.

What do you think?

It, uh, looks about average.

Yeah, I'd say it was about average for this time of year.

Uh, keep an eye on it.

Quiet, they're in room six.

Joe, that's... Shh...

Joe, now... Shh.

Quiet.

Can't hear a thing.

Whew, good, let's go.

No, wait a minute, we can't quit now.

Well, maybe you can't, but I can.

All right, go ahead and quit.

Go ahead and quit if that's what you want.

But if I'm right, if I'm right,

you're gonna have to live with that on your conscience

the rest of your life.

Now, you want that?

Hmm? Do you?

Well, no, but...

All right, then, open that door a crack

and see if you can hear something.

Wait a minute.

You want me to open the door, right?

Yes, I want you to open the door-- right, come on.

Why me?

Because you're taller than I am.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, easy.

Easy, easy, easy, easy...

Shh! Shh!

No. Open it a little bit more.

Joe. Joe, it just ain't right for us...

It's our... it's our duty.

Joe, it ain't the right thing to do

to go around opening people's doors.

All right, all right.

I got a better idea.

I'll get on your back and try to look in...

in the transom up there.

Huh?

Uh, all right. Now that's better.

All right. Now you're using your head.

Okay.

Hoss?

Ho...

Howdy, ma'am.

You wouldn't be interested in, uh...

in some encyclopedias maybe, or-or-or...?

Uh, no. Mm.

Now, look, ma'am, you're... you're bigger than I am.

Hoss, are you... are you all right?

Joseph, I thought you said...

room six.

You did say room six, didn't you?

Yes. I saw it right on the register, room six.

I'm positive. You can go look for yourself.

Joseph, did you turn that register around

before you looked at that six?

No. Why?

Joe, what does a six look like upside down?

A nine.

Hoss, a nine! Good thinking. Room nine.

Let's go, come on.

Joe, don't you think

we've gone to enough trouble for nothing?

Do you see me quitting because the going gets rough?

Hmm?

Room nine.

It couldn't be better.

We've got a fine view of the street,

the bank, the mercantile.

Yeah.

I think this whole thing is working out nice.

Shh!

I can hear them. Listen.

Listen.

What did you think of that vault?

Well, I've seen better, and I've seen worse.

I say about only one burglar in a hundred could open it.

All right.

All right now, what did I tell you?

What did I tell you?

Joe, I'm sorry I ever doubted you.

It's all right. What are we going to do now?

We're gonna get over to the jail and tell Clem.

Come on. Yeah.

Well, let me get this straight.

You say that some fella named Foote

told you that these two strangers

are gonna rob the bank.

No, he did not tell us that they were gonna rob the bank.

I read it, I read it in this book he wrote.

You actually heard these two man say

they were going to break into that safe?

Well, no, we didn't hear them say it in that exact words,

but that's what they meant.

Why don't you let me decide what they meant

and just tell me what they said.

All right, all right, now the one man said

that they had a good view of the street

and the bank from their window. That's right.

And the other fella said that there wasn't one bank robber

in the whole country, not one out of a thousand,

that could break into that safe, didn't they?

Right, right.

Well, is that all?

Is that all? Is that all?

How much do you need?

It's obvious what they plan to do, Clem.

Now, it's your duty to get over to that hotel and arrest them.

That's right.

Arrest them?

For what?

Because they've got a good view of the bank from their window?

Or because they think the bank has a good safe?

They haven't done anything.

But they are going to do something.

They're gonna do it!

Oh, I'm sure there are lots of people in Virginia City

gonna do something wrong someday.

But I can't arrest them till they do it.

And that is your final word, huh?

That is my final word.

Now, boys,

the law is the law.

I appreciate your concern,

and I'll keep an eye on these two.

If they make a move, I'll get them.

Well, I think you're making a big mistake, Clem.

A big, big, big mistake.

And I want you to remember one thing.

Remember, remember what they say about an ounce of prevention.

The law is my job.

I can handle it and without your help.

Come on, Hoss.

Oh, wait a minute, Joe.

Yeah?

You know, Joe,

maybe he's right.

I mean, after all, they didn't say for sure

they was gonna rob the bank.

A minute ago in there you said it meant exactly the same thing.

Yeah, but maybe you and me is just getting a little hasty.

Hasty nothing.

Clem's making a mistake, a big mistake.

I'll tell you this,

Clem's the sheriff, and we got to let him do his job.

Yeah, that's if he can do the job.

And I'm not so sure about that.

Now, if that was Sheriff Coffee in there, I'd feel secure.

I don't think Clem has got the experience.

Well, I'll tell you this, if we don't get them horseshoes

back out to the Ponderosa,

me and you are gonna have an experience,

I'll tell you that. Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Come on, let's go.

Joe, we got to get them horseshoes back out there.

No, those horseshoes are gonna wait.

I'm not going to pass up a chance like this.

What chance?

Chance, chance.

Chapter four.

Right, look, right here.

"Whiskey", says Foote,

"often loosens the tongue."

Now that's right out of Foote's mouth.

J-Joe, we...

Well, come on!

Now, you do just what I do, you understand?

I'll do what you do.

All right.

Let's go.

Howdy, stranger. Howdy, stranger.

We're, uh, we're new in town.

Mind if we join you for a drink?

We're new in town.

You mind if we join you for a dr...

Well, I'm new here myself.

I could use some company over a drink.

Oh, fine. Thank you.

How long you been in town?

Just got in.

So did we.

We're looking for some work breaking horses.

How about you?

No, that work's a little too dangerous for me.

I like a nice safe job.

Hey, uh, bartender,

how about a couple of beers

and a bottle of whiskey for my friend here.

Hey, it's on me.

It's on me.

Come on, hurry up here.

Some thirsty men.

Ah, that's more like it.

Here, let me, let me pour that for you.

That's good whiskey.

How about a toast?

To an interesting afternoon.

To an interesting afternoon.

There we are.

When I drink whiskey, my friends drink whiskey, too.

Uh, that's nice.

I really...

I-I-I'm gonna tell you something.

That bank r-really holds a lot of gold.

It's a tremendous...

a tremendous amount of gold.

For a newcomer, you sure know your way around.

Shh.

We-we make it our-our, uh, business

to know around our way.

Well, you know.

How long did you say the regular sheriff

would be out of town?

At least, at least, at least two weeks.

Two, at least.

Wouldn't you say that?

Huh?

Wasn't it... about two?

Oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah,

at least, at least two weeks.

And-and it isn't,

it isn't fair to...

leave a b-beautiful community like this

unpro-protected...

by leaving an...

inexperienced deputy in-in charge

with a big gold shipment

coming into this community.

When will the gold arrive?

By-by the end of the week.

Oh, it's tremendous gold.

Mm.

We should get another bottle, shouldn't we?

No, thank you, boys.

I'd better be getting along.

Oh, come on, don't run off.

We'll have another bottle here.

I'll be seeing you around.

Okay, we-we'll see you.

We'll see you, stranger.

Hey, Joe,

are you, are you sure

you played this whole thing right?

What do you mean, am I sure?

Certainly.

Certainly, I did.

I mean, Am I sure?

It seems to me like you gave him

a whole lot more information than he gave you.

Oh, no...

I love you, little brother. Now, look...

It don't make no difference.

Don't you, you don't understand

the work-workings

of the-the criminal mind, you see.

Oh.

See, what I was doing,

I was leading him down the road,

Yeah. slowly gaining information,

Ah. tricking him, slowly,

Ah. just leading him

and leading him and eventually,

as I knew in my heart,

he fell for it.

Joe?

Joe?

Just gonna ask him what

they did mean by...

"an ounce of prevention."

All I did was ask you to go into town

and do a simple little errand.

Stand up when I talk to you.

Yes, sir.

It wasn't a very difficult errand,

was it?

Was it?!

No, it wasn't!

No, sir, no, sir, it wasn't.

No, sir, it wasn't.

And it shouldn't have taken more than about two hours.

Am I right?

Am I right?!

You're Al-always right, Pa, always.

Evidently, it was not a simple errand,

and it did not take two hours.

It took 12 hours,

and then I had to go into town and bring you back myself.

And why did I have to go into town

and bring you back myself?

Why?

Why?!

Because you told me to keep an eye on Little Joe?

Because you were drunk.

Now, I admit that was the first time it's happened,

to my knowledge,

but that does not make it excusable.

And then, when I asked you

why I found you in that condition,

what was your reply?

Well, I... Oh, please.

How could I possibly forget?

You told me that you were drunk

because you were trying to capture bank robbers.

That's right.

That's right, and-and... and there's gonna...

there's a crime about to be committed.

Joseph, there is a crime about to be committed,

and I'm desperately restraining myself

from committing it this very instant.

Now, you stand up straight when I talk to you.

Yes, sir.

Now, evidently I have not been giving you boys

enough to do around this ranch.

I will remedy that situation starting tomorrow.

Yeah, but... but, Pa... But nothing!

Take your hands off me.

Now, I am going to bed,

and I very seriously advise you two to do the same thing.

Because tomorrow is going to be a long, long day.

Oh, boy.

Ooh, he was mad.

Yep.

I can see the chores piling up already for tomorrow.

We got work to do.

Not fill in the morning, we don't.

Private detectives work at night.

Private what?

Private detectives, detectives.

Joe, look, I don't know about you.

I ain't no detective, private, public or otherwise.

Besides, we're in enough trouble with Pa already.

That's right, we're in trouble with Pa.

But what shape do you think we'd be in with him

if we caught ourselves a couple of bank robbers, huh?

Joe, you just go ahead and do whatever you want to,

but count me out.

All right, fine. Fine, forget it.

There's a lot of other girls around besides Bessy Sue.

What's Bessy Sue got to do with this?

Well, just suppose you, uh, you caught the men

who were about to rob the bank where she worked,

perhaps even saving her life.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But, Joe, I-I don't know nothin' about this detectiving.

Hoss...

Hoss, a man with your courage and strength

would be wasted in any other field.

Yeah?

Oh, with your skill, your... your bravery,

your knowledge, you could go right to the top.

Yeah, probably...

No probably about it, brother.

Definitely.

Definitely.

Let's go, Joe.

I'm with you all the way.

That's good. That's nice.

Hey, Joe, how come we gotta pile

this mud around the bank, anyhow?

Well, don't you remember me telling you

how-how Inspector Foote caught the criminals

because they had clay on their boots?

Yeah.

Well, anybody who tries to get in the bank

is going to have red clay on their boots.

Well, yeah, but how come we got to go all the way out

to Porcupine Creek to get this mud?

All we'd have to do is just pour some water around here,

and then there'd be plenty of mud.

But that would... that'd be plain mud.

Just ordinary mud.

We need something distinguishable.

Red clay. We'll be able to see it for miles.

We'll know who did it.

Yeah.

Hey, you know, this detectiving is kind of interesting.

I thought you'd like it.

Wait a minute, Joe.

You mean I gotta...

I gotta spread this mud around here every night

until them fellas decide to rob this bank?

Hoss, I think it's a small price to pay for your community,

not to mention Bessy Sue.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

Okay.

Get back to work.

Don't bother me anymore. I've got a lot of reading to do.

Joe, I'm so doggone sleepy

after four nights of hardly any sleep at all,

that I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it, really.

Well, go on, eat.

You'll feel better.

Eat?

I'm so dad-burned weak and tired,

I can't even chew, much less eat.

Well, it's not going to be much longer.

They gotta make their move soon.

Yeah, well, they better.

'Cause if they don't, I'm gonna rob that bank myself,

so I can start gettin' some sleep.

Now, look, you don't hear me complaining, do you?

No.

And I don't see you shoveling much of that mud, neither.

Well, somebody has to stand watch, right?

Ain't a whole lot of watch-standing you can do

laying up there on top of all them crates snoring.

Now, look, I...

Shh. It's Pa. It's Pa.

You're still at the breakfast table?

I thought you had a full day's work ahead of you.

Mmm.

Oh, yeah, we-we were just about to get started, Pa.

We... we sure didn't want to leave the house

without saying good-bye to you.

That's all. All right.

Better get on your way, then. Yeah.

Ooh! Excuse me, Pa.

Come on, Hoss, we got a...

we got a full day's work. Yeah. Yeah.

Good-bye.

Bye.

Oh, come on in, Clem. Joe.

Pa's over there, uh, having breakfast. Come on in.

You managing to stay out of the way of the law?

0h, sure. Yeah, Hess and I are just on our way to work.

Hoss! What?

Hoss, we're on our... we're on our way... Oh.

We're on our way to work. Oh, yeah, to work. Right.

Oh, hi, Clem. Hoss.

Good-good to see you again, Clem.

Mmm. Yeah.

Clem, come on in.

Have a cup of coffee.

Morning, Ben.

Good morning, Clem.

Hop Sing, bring in a fresh cup, will you?

Something wrong with Hoss?

He looks terrible.

I don't know.

Been like that the last couple of days.

I've been working him hard,

but it never bothered him before.

I ought to go and...

well, I ought to have him go in and see Doc Martin.

That's a good idea.

Could be just spring fever.

Yeah.

Well, I know, uh, you didn't come all the way out here, Clem,

just to inquire after my son's health.

What can I do for you?

Well, it... it's kind of hard to explain.

I'd like you to come to town and have a look yourself.

Well, all right.

Finish your coffee, and we'll go into town.

Fine.

Well, there it is, same as out front.

It's under both doors and all the windows.

Bank manager noticed it the last three, four days.

Every morning, they clean it up.

Then the next morning, it's back again.

Clem, this just doesn't make any sense.

I mean, what kind of idiot

would want to pile mud around like this?

Well, I don't know.

Well, must be a bunch of kids playing.

No, I don't think so.

Kids break windows, write on walls.

But somebody went to a whole lot of trouble

to tote that much mud in here.

They sure did.

They surely did.

Well, I can't make head or tail of it.

Neither can I.

Whatever the scheme is, it's one I've never seen before.

Frankly, it's got me worried.

Ben, I need your help.

Well, all right.

What do you... what do you want me to do?

Oh, I was hoping you'd say that.

Now, here's what I figured we'd do.

It's nice and quiet.

Just a little bit longer, and then we'll hit it.

I just hope there's half as much money in the bank

as that kid said there'd be.

It was a lucky break, running into him.

We might have hit it before the gold shipment arrived.

I always knew whiskey was good for something.

Well, here's to a profitable evening.

Joe, look, I've been thinking...

Well, stop thinking.

It's all clear. Go get the wagon.

Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Now, just think a minute.

What's going to happen if nobody's gonna rob the bank?

What happens if nobody robs it?

In a month, me and the bank both

are going to be up to our necks in mud.

Look, how many times have I had to tell you...

Shh.

I thought I heard something.

They're in there. They're in there.

I though they might hit it tonight.

Let's go get Clem. No.

No, we're not going to get Clem.

We're going to share the glory with a man

who wouldn't even believe us in the first place?

Well... Besides...

besides, while we're over there getting Clem,

they might get away.

Yeah, but, Joe... No, no.

There's only one thing we can do.

You've got to rush them.

Wait a minute, Joe... wait a minute. No.

Now, when I count to three, hit that door.

Ready?

One, two, three.

You got him, Hoss?

Yeah.

Hold on. I'll get the light lit.

All right.

Get still or I'll break it. I'll break it.

Hoss...

Hoss, don't-don't... don't break it.

Hi, Pa.

You're sitting on me.

Yeah. Yeah, I am.

Here, Pa, let me... Take your hands off me!

Clem, you all right?

I'm all right, I guess.

Hand me my hat.

Yes, sir.

Yeah, here's your hat, Pa.

It's all... Stop cleaning it! Just hand it to me!

But, Pa, I just...

Be quiet.

Walk out of here and walk straight to the jailhouse.

You hear? Move.

Wait!

Hand me your guns. Hand me your guns.

Before you make another mistake and shoot your father.

I'll be along in a minute.

I'll have to fix this door.

Keep moving on to the jail.

That was close.

It could have been us.

Those were the two drifters

I was talking to in the saloon the other day.

That deputy's a little bit smarter

than I figured.

What'll we do?

Let's go back to the hotel.

I'll figure something out.

Pa, we're sorry... Pa, we're sorry about your eye.

0h!

It begins to make a little bit of sense.

It all begins to make some sense now.

You two were the ones who slopped that mud

all around the bank, weren't you?

Well, yeah.

Well, we slopped a little mud around.

Why in heaven's name did you do that?

Why?!

Well, uh, well, you see,

we-we were gonna catch-catch the bank robbers.

Uh, because th-they would have the mud on their boots

if-if they robbed the bank, and then we'd know it was them.

See, it-it's all right here in the book, Chapter 14.

Put that book away!

Pa, we didn't think that we were...

That's right.

You're absolutely right, Hoss.

You didn't think.

But you are gonna have time to think.

You are going to have time to think.

Clem!

I want you to keep these two

in here for some time.

You, uh, sure that's what you want, Ben?

I've never been so sure of anything in my life.

Neven

Now boys, I'm gonna go home,

and I'm going to sit in front of that beautiful fireplace.

And I'm going to try to figure out

where I went wrong

as a father.

Joseph, that's the last time

I'm gonna ever listen to you.

Hoss, I never told you it would be easy being a detective.

A detective?

Joseph, we ain't detectives.

We're prisoners!

Hop Sing?

Hop Sing!

Mr. Cartwright, Hop Sing heat dinner one time.

Hop Sing heat dinner again, again and again.

Start outwith a roast this big.

Now roast is this big.

You not come home for dinner on time,

Hop Sing no cook.

What happened to your eye?

Never mind what happened to my eye.

I'm in no mood to listen to your troubles.

I have enough of my own.

Now, just be good enough to serve me my dinner, please.

Where Mr. Hoss, Little Joe?

Hess and Joe are in jail.

All right.

In jail?!

Hop Sing go get wagon.

We go to town, we get them out.

I have no intention of going into town.

I have no intention of getting them out.

I have just finished putting them in.

And don't ask me why.

But Mr. Hoss get hungry in jail.

He used to Hop Sing cooking.

Then he'll have to get used to the cooking in jail.

Now,

serve me my dinner, please.

Think I was putting them into jail

to starve them to death or something,

the way he carries on.

A day in jail would be good for them.

Thank you, Hop Sing.

Hop Sing, I'm in no mood for any jokes.

Just bring the roast.

Bread, water good enough for son,

bread, water good enough for father.

Well, he's right.

He's right, he's right, he's right.

I should get them out of there.

Well, I Will.

But it's the last time.

The last time.

Nothing moving at all

since that fellow left the sheriffs office.

Yeah, nothing moving now,

but I don't want to start cracking that safe

and having the deputy walk in on me.

With him all spooked up about those drifters

trying to rob the bank, he just might do it.

Wait a minute.

What would happen if those two drifters

were to break out of jail?

Well, how could they?

They might just have a friend who would help them.

So, they bust out,

and the next morning, the law finds out

the bank has been robbed.

And the posse takes out after them,

and we sit here and count the money

until we're ready to take the stage to San Francisco.

Beautiful!

What do you want?

Hoss.

Come on, wake up. Hmm?

Hmm? Wake up!

You know, you boys can get ten years in jail

for trying to rob a bank like that.

But you don't understand. We didn't...

We-we-we didn't get anything.

You got caught. That's all it takes.

They'll throw the book at you.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you wait till we get out of here.

Yeah. Oh, look, if we could only get out of here.

Come on, give us... give us a break and let us out.

What do you think, Simms?

Well, they did me a good turn once.

Why not?

Oh, all right.

They're just a couple of poor drunks anyway.

Now, you take my advice

and get out of town just as fast as you can.

You betcha. Oh, I'll take your advice, mister.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

They're letting out the two of us.

See how Clem is.

He's all right.

He's gonna sleep well. Let's go.

That banker wasn't fooling

when he said they had up-to-date equipment.

This one'll take at least three minutes.

What do you think we ought to do?

One of them's probably on guard.

We'll hide here and jump them when they come out.

All right.

Clem?

In here.

Well, I think maybe the boys have had enough time to think...

Clem?

What the heck happened to you?

Oh, somebody knocked on the door.

I went out to see who it was,

and that's all I remember.

I'll have a look at that.

I-I'm sorry.

Is it all right? Oh, I'm all right.

Well, uh...

Where are my sons?

The last time I saw them, they were in this cell.

They were saying something about the bank.

The bank. The bank.

The bank.

♪♪

♪♪

No!

Oh, Joe? Hoss?

Yeah, you all right? Yeah, I'm fine.

You all right? Yeah.

A little tougher than I thought.

Didn't figure on the four of them.

Get inside. Get a light.

We'll see what we got here. Right.

Oh, we did it. We've done it.

Oh, yeah, good.

Good.

Oh.

Thanks for coming in and testifying at the hearing.

Well, that's the last bank

those two will break into for some time,

thanks to you.

Well, it's... it's all in a day's work, Clem.

Well, Clem, I must say I'm, uh, I'm proud of these two boys.

Thanks, Pa.

I, uh, don't always agree with their methods,

but, uh, it's the results that count.

Well, thanks again, boys.

Call on us any time, Clem.

Feel free.

Well, you boys, uh, ready to go on home?

Pa, Pa,

you know, since we...

since we did such a good job

and you're so proud of us, right...

well, we was thinking maybe that you might, uh,

you might give us a day off.

How about it?

Well, shucks.

I think you've earned it.

Sure. Thank you.

See you back home. Right. Thanks, Pa.

We'll see you. Watch yourself riding.

Yeah, take it easy, Pa.

We don't want to see you get hurt.

Well, Joe, it's been some week, ain't it?

Yeah, it has.

I must say I'm glad to see it over.

Now all I want's a nice cold beer,

and a nice little... Hold it!

Piece of soft music. Huh?

Look over there.

See the fella walking into the livery stable?

Yeah, what about him?

I'd swear I saw him

on one of the posters in Clem's office.

I didn't get a good look at him, but I think that might be him.

Now, the important thing to do

is to spread out, spread out.

Inspector Foote said don't make yourself

an easy target, spread out.

All right, now, I want you to go on around the back.

Soon as I know you're ready, I'll go in the front.

Now...

Hoss?

Hey, Hoss?

Hoss...

Hoss...

Chapter 14.

How to work alone.

This has been a color production

of the NBC Television Network.