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The following program
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What do you think, Hoss?
I don't know, Joe, it's...
Hoss, I'm telling you the truth.
If me and Clyde had a place to do this here right,
why, we'd be plumb fools to sell you this here.
Now, don't go galloping too fast, too soon, Mr. Barlow.
Me and Joe just ain't made up our minds yet, that's all.
L-Like I just said, you Cartwrights'd have
the market cornered, getting top dollar
for hardly any work at all.
Well, you fellas
sure make it sound easy enough.
I just don't know if Hess and I are ready
for an operation like this, though.
Well, Little Joe, I told you I was gonna give you
the instructions and all the paraphernalia needed.
Well? What do y'all say?
What do you think, Joe?
Excuse us a minute.
Sure. Y'all go right ahead and think it over.
I... I just don't see how we can go wrong with it.
Well, I don't find nothing wrong with it,
except maybe a few growls from Pa, but...
Oh, no, I don't think so. Not when he finds out
the kind of profit we're gonna be making.
Yeah, but, Joe, that's a lot of money.
It's a lot of money, but you got to think big nowadays.
Yeah. But $50 for two?
We're in it for two. But we're not talking about
any run-of-the-mill thing, we're talking about
two genuine Gerby Royals.
They're not a dime a dozen.
You're right.
Looks like you and me made a sale, Clyde.
I think we could have got more money out of 'em.
You know, I believe you're right.
Well, I'm willing to take a fling if you are.
All right, let's go.
All right, gentlemen.
Ten, 20,
30, 40, 50.
Thank you. $50.
You boys really made an excellent deal.
I mean, y'all really made an excellent deal. Yup.
Uh, uh, don't forget about the instructions
you're supposed to give us.
Oh, yeah, I durn near forgot 'em.
Uh, of course, Barlow was talking for himself
when he implied that the instructions came free.
Implied nothing.
He said for sure they went with the deal. All right,
forget the deal. Give me the $50 back. Doggone right,
give us our money back. Come on. Hold it.
Hold it, boys.
Clyde, I did mention the instructions
in the deal, now. Go on and give it to 'em.
But-But... Give it to 'em.
Like I said, a deal's a deal.
Thank you.
Joe, we'd better head for the Ponderosa. Come on.
Uh, boys, just a minute.
You know, I plumb near forgot about them carrying cages.
Uh, you know, I didn't mention 'em in the deal, but, uh,
you boys can, uh, can buy 'em from us
or rent 'em from us at a reasonable price.
You know, it... Uh, well, like I said, you know,
being as we know you boys, uh,
and want to kindly help y'all get started in business,
I-I expect we can lend 'em to you.
I expect.
Come on, Joe, let's go.
Giddyap.
Barlow, tell me something.
Where did you dig up a name like Gerby Royals?
Well, them boys give me $50 for a pair of rabbits,
I figure I ought to give 'em a fancy name.
That's right.
Well, all we have to do now is just sit back and wait.
That's right, Clyde. Like I said,
you stick with old Barlow,
and we'll be wearing nothing but pure diamonds.
Yeah. Whoa, whoa.
Gee, I can't wait... I can't wait till Pa
gets a look at these. Joe, dad-burnit,
can't you do nothing slow and easy-like?
What's the matter? I mean,
I don't think we ought to tell Pa right off.
I think we ought to kind of sneak up on him, like.
Wait till after he's had dinner
and got a full stomach, you know.
Yeah, I think maybe you're right.
Hey, you know, you read Pa pretty good, Hoss.
Yeah, well, it ain't easy.
Took a long, long time to study Pa. Hey.
Hi, Pa. Hoss.
Hi. Hiya. You ha-have a good dinner?
Not yet, but looks like I'm gonna have one.
Uh, no, Pa, the-these rabbits ain't eating rabbits.
Uh, me and Joe are on the ground floor
of a really big money-making enterprise, Pa.
Are you? Yes. Yeah, we're, uh,
we're in the... we're in the rabbit-raising business.
Oh, well, then I know I'm gonna have
plenty of rabbit stew around.
No, Pa, like I say, these ain't eating rabbits.
We-We ran into your friend, you know, Clyde and Barlow.
Two real nice fellows, and...
and, well, they-they sold us on the idea of raising rabbits
for fur coats...
at two dollars a skin.
Clyde and Barlow got you, uh, started on this.
I know we just got two little old measly rabbits now,
but, you see, when Nellie here...
No, no. No.
That's Buck. I-I got Nellie over here.
Oh, yeah? Well, anyhow,
we put Nellie and...
Well, we get Nellie...
We put Nellie and-and Buck together,
and then in four months Nellie's gonna have...
How many rabbits?
Well-Well, uh,
Nellie's good for probably, uh...
oh, ten rabbits.
Then you divide. Of course, they're not all the same.
Then you have five times the divisional,
uh, adjustment you've made... Uh, Joe-Joe-Joseph...
with an overhead... Joe, Joe... Joseph.
But-- yeah?
You don't have to tell me how rabbits multiply.
At two dollars a head, too, Pa. Two dollars a head.
Hmm.
Are they, uh...
they top-grade rabbits?
Are they top-grade?
Pa, do you know anything about rabbits?
Anything at all?
Hmm, uh, well, I know jacks and cottontails. Yeah.
Well, let me instruct you
in the quality of rabbits.
These rabbits... Well, feel him. Just feel it.
Feel his fur. Go ahead.
Ain't that something? Mm.
These rabbits, Pa...
are genuine Gerby Royals.
There ain't a half a dozen of 'em in the country, right, Joe?
Right. Pa, we are gonna put a fur skin...
a fur coat-- a whole coat--
On the back of every woman in America.
Every woman in America.
You're gonna be the rabbit kings of America.
Mm.
Well...
I wish you a lot of luck in your rabbit enterprise.
Thanks, Pa. Right.
Yeah. See you at dinner.
Yeah.
I don't know, Hoss. We've been sitting here
every night for a week now.
Well, according to the instructions,
she's sure enough due.
Hey, you know, m-maybe we're...
we're making her nervous by just watching her.
You think?
Well, I don't know. You know what they say--
You-you can't make water boil by watching it.
They say that.
I think I'm gonna go to bed.
You coming? No.
I think I'll stay here and keep Nellie company a little longer.
Hmm. Good night.
Good night, Joe.
Good night, Nellie.
Come on, Nellie, be motherly.
Hey, Joe, wake up. Wake up. They're here, Joe.
Joe, wake up. Wake up. They've arrived. They're here.
Oh. Well, say hello to them, I want to sleep.
J... Joe, our... Joe. Joe. Come on.
Our investment has now multiplied.
Wake up. Multiplied.
How ma... How-How many?
Well, I didn't get a good count, but come on. Oh.
I hope she gave us a good count.
Look at them little critters, Joe.
Look at those little Gerby Royals.
Nellie, you're all right. Mm-hmm.
Now, let me see. We got one, two, three,
four, five, six, seven, eight.
Eight little Gerby Royals. Beautiful.
Now, let me see. Supposing...
Supposing...
Supposing what?
Well, now-now, suppose we got...
we got eight... we got eight Gerby Royals.
Yeah. Now supposing we got
four males and four females.
Four males and four females.
The way I figure it,
before very long, we should have ourselves
50-- 50-- Gerby Royals...
50 Gerby Royals. ...at two dollars apiece.
Oh, boy. Hey, Joe, you know, that's...
that's like an explosion, ain't it?
Mm-hmm. I mean, like a...
It's like a rabbit explosion.
Hey, wait a minute. Yeah. Yeah.
Hey, wait a minute, Joe. Yeah?
What happens if them four he-rabbits
turns out to be she-rabbits?
Or the four she-rabbits turns out to be he-rabbits?
And are she- or he-rabbits.
All of 'em are he-rabbits or all of 'em are she-rabbits--
What happens then?
You figure it out. I'm going to bed.
For a young, roping horse, he works real good, don't he, Ben?
Not bad, Nate, not bad.
Moves like a big cat.
Yeah, seems sound. Moves good.
Well?
Well, fact is, Nate,
I've never been much at buying young or untried
cutting and roping horses.
$150's mighty low for an animal like this.
$150?
Well, I'll have to think about it, Nate.
I can't promise he won't be sold
while you're making up your mind.
I'll take that chance.
I hear that Hess and Little Joe are doing real proud
with their rabbit raising over at the Ponderosa.
Yeah. Real, real proud.
They got more Gerby Royal rabbits
hippity-hoppiting all over that place.
Gerby-what rabbits?
Gerby Royals.
Never heard of that breed.
Yeah. They're real productive.
Mr. Ben.
Mr. Ben. Mr. Ben.
Jumping friends not welcome.
Should belong in barn.
Mr. Ben.
Mr. Ben! Oh. Little Joe.
Shh... I'm here, Hop Sing. Little Joe.
I'm trying to get some of the rabbits that got away.
Will you stop making so... Wh-Where'd you get those?
In kitchen, where not belong.
Oh, I'm-I'm sorry. We-We'll take better care of them next time.
Poor management. Soon you lose business.
All right, the management'll get better.
We're gonna get more cages. It's gonna be all right.
You speak English!
Eh!
Come on, let's get back in the barn.
Yeah, I got four more of 'em. Good.
Is this all that got out? No. There's more of 'em.
Let's get these in a cage... Yeah.
...and get the other ones before Pa starts complaining again.
Yeah.
How many would you say are still out?
Well, let me see.
Well, we got four, six...
That makes eight left.
Yeah-- oh.
Oh, good, good. Forgot about that little fella.
That's seven. Seven. And counting the ones
under the house... 15 all together.
Joe, they're popping out all over the place.
Yeah, I know it, and we're fresh out of cages.
And them cages are costing money.
Hey.
Hey, you remember those, those old wire chicken cages
th-they had in the back of Nate Swenson's stable?
Oh, yeah. Hey, if he's still got those, buddy,
we could save us a bunch of money there.
Come on, let's go. Okay.
♪♪
I'm sorry, boys, but like I said,
Old Man Brice bought them cages about... about a month ago.
Well, I reckon there ain't nothing to do
but me and Joe to build some more, that's all.
By the way, I, uh... I ran into Barlow and Clyde this morning.
They showed me that contract they got
with that outfit in Chicago. Yeah.
True they'll take all the rabbit hides they can get?
That's right. Me and Little Joe figure
to put a genuine Gerby Royal on every female in the United...
Hey, Nate? Yes, Little Joe?
Is this the horse Pa's been looking at?
Sure is. Ben liked him,
but thought I was a mite high on the price. Why?
Well, I was just thinking, Pa's birthday is coming up.
That'd make a fine present.
You're right, Joe, it sure would at that.
$150, he's yours.
Whew!
$150. We got most of our money tied up
in that rabbit business. Yeah.
We'll have to settle for something less.
Pa would sure look fine on him, though, wouldn't he? Yeah.
Come on. Now, wait a minute, boys, wait a minute.
This, uh...
this rabbit-raising kind of interests me.
Now, if this rabbit thing gets a little too big for you,
maybe you'd like a silent partner?
You want to buy in?
In a way.
What with having my stable here in Virginia City,
you could use part of it as a storehouse for your hides,
and I could... make them cages in my spare time-- for a...
third interest, of course.
It'd take a lot more than that to get a third interest, Nate.
Come on, Joe. Well, I, uh...
I might add a fine birthday present
for you boys to give your pa.
Hmm? Sure.
You just got yourself in the rabbit business, Nate.
Congratulations, partner.
Hey, he's gonna be surprised.
Now, come on, don't be so skittish.
I'll tell you, for a little fella
that was practically hand-fed by Hess and Little Joe,
you sure don't cooperate much.
Well...
Mighty fine looking animal.
Yeah. Happy birthday, Pa.
Me and Little Joe know you've had your eye
on old Nate's cutting horse for a long time, so we...
we bought him for your birthday present.
♪♪
Son of a gun.
It's just like...
having all my birthdays and Christmases in...
one beautiful package.
Uh, N-Nate says he's still a little skittish yet.
Oh... but he's, he's solid and he's got the good moves.
Little work, he'll, he'll be a real good one.
I don't know what to say. I...
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Pa, I'll go put him in the corral.
Yeah.
You know, he's a fine looking one.
Glad you like him, Pa.
Hope old Hop Sing's got something good to eat in there.
My stomach tells me it's time to... bean down.
It is. Hey, well, you take this little fella and put him away,
and I'll talk to Hop Sing, get everything ready. Right.
Thank you, Hoss.
Yes, sir.
Mmm! Look at that.
Mmm, that smells good. Mmm-mmm!
If it's anything like as good as it smells,
boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
Hey, you know, we haven't had stewed chicken in a long time.
Hop Sing, you sure outdid yourself tonight.
Don't taste exactly like chicken, does it?
Uh...
More like... sort of like...
Sort of like rabbit, yes?
Yeah, like rabbit.
Hop Sing, how m...
how many rabbits did you put in that stew?
Three.
Fat one, Little Joe.
Three fat one, Little Joe.
Do you know what that is? That's six dollars, Hop Sing!
Six dollars worth of Gerbies!
Mr. Ben figure you say that.
He tell me, tell you, give him the bill.
Mm-hmm.
Give him the bill. It's not the, it's not the...
it's not the three rabbits that are in there,
it's what it represents. By the time we finish dinner,
those three rabbits could be maybe 24 rabbits.
24... Look at all those Gerbies.
I got enough money in there-- I'm gonna eat them.
Excuse me.
I'm gonna...
go out and get me a little fresh air.
♪♪
Little Joe. Yeah?
Look... look at this cute little feller.
Hey.
Pretty interesting markings, you know?
Yeah, he's a friendly little cuss, too, ain't he?
Mm-hmm.
Mm. Mm, good pelt.
Excellent, excellent. Joe...
do you have to do that?
How many more like that one we got?
Well, if you're thinking in terms of a fur coat,
you can forget it-- he's the only one we got
with markings like this.
Oh, dad-burnit.
Hey, you know, we could get two or three times as much money
if we had some more like that one.
Well, you just forget it!
Well, don't get all out of sorts!
I'm just trying to be enterprising.
You know, I... sometimes think you'd skin
everything on the Ponderosa if the price was right.
Well, if that's your attitude, then just leave me alone.
I have a lot of paperwork.
This business doesn't run itself.
I got to figure out profits against...
overhead and things like that.
Little brother...
there's changes taking place in you.
And they ain't for the better, neither.
Aw, business is business.
Oh, you rabbits.
428 rabbits and 428 rabbits...
you got about 956 rabbits.
♪♪
Dad-burn.
I ain't never seen nothing double and triple
and quadruple and...
whatever comes after that like you little jumpers have.
I ain't never seen nothing multiply like this.
The bad part is that...
I ain't got the heart to skin none of you.
But my little brother catches ahold of you... Hoss!
Hoss!
Hoss, you in...
Look at all them plump rabbits.
Just prime for skinnin'.
Whew! Lookie here.
What do you say, Hoss?
Howdy, boys. I-I'll tell you fellas,
they're, uh... they're not really as prime as they look.
No, they ain't.
Ooh, Iookie here.
Well, I...
Well, I... I think they need
at least two or three more weeks anyhow.
Well, that's what you been telling us all the time, Hoss.
What's the matter?
You got a better offer or something?
Don't you try to outsmart us, Mr. Hoss.
Well, it ain't that, Clyde. It's just that I...
well, I just think they... they need a little more time.
Them Little Joe's feelings, too, huh?
Well, uh...
well, I...
I reckon I know my little brother's feelings.
Where's Little Joe now?
Well, he ain't around, but...
like I said, I, I reckon I know his feelings.
We come out here figuring you'd have a batch of skins, Hoss.
I guess we took a ride for nothing!
Them rabbits look pretty good right now to me, Hoss.
Yeah, look, Mr. Barlow, I'll tell you what,
you and Clyde just... just don't fret none.
Let me take care of everything,
and, and I'll guarantee everything'll be all right.
Well, are you gonna have a batch of skins for us next week, huh?
I should be able to... We're way behind schedule.
I know, Clyde, I know we are.
And you and Mr. Barlow can count on me.
I guarantee you that, that,
that we'll, we'll have it all done then.
Well, that's what we're figuring on. Yes, sir.
There's more ways than one of skinning a cat... a rabbit.
Get up in here!
Hey. Hey, Hoss.
Hey, Clyde! Hey, CI...
Cut that out! What are you doing?
Quiet. I was... Oh, I get it, I get it.
You were stalling Clyde and Barlow, weren't you? Hmm?
But, Joe, I wouldn't exactly call it stalling.
What would you... what would you call it? Stalling.
Stalling. Now, listen, you can't put it off any longer.
We have some rabbit-skinning to do.
Joe, wait.
Now wait a minute, Joe, wait a minute.
I-I've been thinking this over, and... and, well...
And, buh-buh-buh, wha-what?
Well, dad-burnit!
Joe, you think they're big enough?
Do I think they're big enough? Hoss, look at this rabbit.
Yeah, you stay away... Look at this rabbit.
What are you raising, a mountain lion or a rabbit?
Now, look, are you letting your heart rule your pocketbook? Hmm?
Well, Joe, money ain't everything, dad-burnit.
Look, for the last two weeks, Barlow and Clyde
have been hounding us, hounding us for rabbit hides.
Now when we finally got a batch
that are big enough for skinning,
you go soft as butter.
Well, reckon I have grown sort of fond of them at that.
Have grown fond of them.
All right, look, I didn't know when I went in partners with you
that you were gonna go squeamish on me.
But let's not forget that I still have a little say.
Half of these rabbits happen to be mine.
And I am gonna skin my half of the rabbits.
Now, if you'll just step aside...
No, you ain't.
You ain't skinning these rabbits, Joe.
Oh, yes, I am. Would you step...
You're standing in fr... That fat Gerby right there
behind your head happens to be my Gerby.
You're standing in front of my Gerby.
No, you ain't skinning these rabbits.
Not today you ain't, Joseph.
You're mak... you're making... you're making me mad.
I don't care. You ain't skinning these rabbits.
I'm skinning that Gerby.
Now, well, I don't want to have to come through you.
I'd-I'd reconsider that, little brother.
Well, I'm telling you right now.
I'm telling you, my brother, I'm fast.
Now, that Ger... There's a... That Gerby right behind there
is my rabbit. I'll cut you to bit-- ribbons.
I'm gonna have... I'm telling you, I'm gonna... I'm gonna...
Ooh, I'm gonna...
That's my Gerby, and I'm gonna get to him.
One way or the other, Brother Hoss,
I'm gonna get into one of these cages.
Well, come on! Now let me out of here!
I'm... Oh, am I... I'm gonna... Let me out of here!
Ooh, am I... I'm gonna hurt... Ooh, I'm gonna hurt you.
Come on! Now let me out of here!
Not until you pull in your horns.
Oh... I'm gonna tear you to pieces
when I get out of here. Ooh, oh, my foot.
Settle down. You... Look, let me out of here.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, what's, uh...
what's the trouble?
Pa, he won't let me skin my share of the Gerbies.
Is that true, Hoss?
Well, yeah, dad-burnit, Pa,
I-I've grown sort of fond of these little fellers, and...
well...
But the fact remains that they are half his.
That's right.
Dad-burnit. Legally they are half his, yeah.
Well, then let him have his half.
And, Hoss, let him out.
Thank you, Father.
All right.
All right.
Straighten up.
Hardened little criminal.
Business is business, and-and that's all there is to it.
Hoss...
What must be done must be done.
Right in our own family.
My very own little brother, a fiend.
I'll tell you this,
if he skins more than his half, I'm gonna...
Well...
how many have you slain?
Speak up, you fiend.
I didn't slay any of them.
I couldn't do it. I guess I got too fond of 'em, too.
Really?
Yeah, they were all looking at me with big eyes,
wiggling their ears and all that.
Doggone it, Joe, I'm proud of you.
There for a while I didn't think you had a heart.
Um,
gentlemen, uh, the fact remains
that, uh, the Ponderosa now has umpteen rabbits
we can't eat
and umpteen rabbits we can't skin.
Now, what do you...
enterprising fur dealers intend to do with them?
I hadn't thought about that, Pa.
Well, I suggest you start thinking about it
before those cute little ear-wiggling friends of yours
take over the Ponderosa.
Joe, think.
I'm thinking. Are you thinking?
I'm trying.
Well, what do you figure, Joe?
Well...
well, we could turn 'em loose.
No, we can't do that.
They'd overrun the ranch inside of six months.
Yeah.
Well, S-suppose we sold 'em back to CI...
Clyde and Barlow alive
and let them...
Clyde and Barlow?
No. No, we couldn't.
Couldn't think about this little fella as a fur coat.
We got to do something.
Yeah. That's for sure.
Pa ain't gonna sit still for long.
Hey.
I got an idea.
Yeah?
Yeah. Uh,
see, your affection f-for the rabbits
is-is bigger than-than my affection.
Well, uh, I'm bigger than you are, Joe.
Right, right. You're bigger than I am
and your affection is bigger. Yeah.
So I'll give you my share of the rabbits.
Oh... It's all right.
Joe, you son of a gun, that's-that's nice of you.
Hey. What?
We're in this together.
Don't you pull that stuff on me.
Hoss, it was J... it was a thought.
Oh, I had that all figured out just like that, yeah.
Miserable rabbit eat up Hop Sing garden.
Me chop. Me chop.
Oh. Little Joe.
Mr. Hoss. Me...
not want rabbit get away.
Save you two dollar.
Abner, I think you ought to get a pretty good price
for that old saddle, don't you think?
I have to, Ben.
What do you mean you have to?
You sound as if you've been had or something.
Well, you wound me up awful tight when we was dickering.
Hey, speaking of tight,
I think the least you could do is break in this new saddle.
Break it in? Why, I hope that saddle pinches
and bites you for months.
Happy birthday, Ben.
Thank you.
Ben?
Me and Clyde just got in from the Ponderosa.
And I'm tellin' you, them two boys of yours
have done gone plumb loco.
They won't sell us none of them rabbits.
We got commitments on them animals.
What are you gonna do about it, Ben?
Well, boys, I'd surely like to help you,
but my hands are tied.
Now, ain't this here something?
Me and Clyde put them two boys in business,
and now they done backed out on us.
Well, you know how it is.
When you own Gerby Royals, you just hate to part with them.
Well-well, it don't make no difference.
They're-they're still only rabbits.
You sure charge a mighty good price
for them being only rabbits.
Now, wait a minute, Ben, me and Clyde ain't gonna take this here
laying down. You know yourself
that a business deal is a business deal.
A business deal is a business deal.
And it's your business deal and it's your problem.
So good day and good luck.
Clyde, like I said,
me and you ain't gonna take this here laying down.
Is that all you got built?
You'll have to go faster than that or we'll never catch up.
Hey, here comes our silent partner.
Whoa!
Morning, Nate!
Morning, boys. Nate.
Boy, you-you really get up early for a city fella, you know?
Sort of. But when you got investments, why,
you got to keep a sharp eye open, don't you, partners?
Yeah, that-that-that's right, Nate.
Are you... Well, I, uh...
I reckon you boys won't mind if I load up here
with a few of these prime rabbits.
Well, I-I think you're r... you're rushing things
a little bit, Nate. What do you mean? Yeah.
Well, I'll tell you, Nate, th-these rabbits, they, uh...
they ain't really as prime as they look, no. No.
Well, they look fine to me. Well, no, that-that's...
that's only because we're-we're keeping 'em warm in the barn.
Right in here. Yeah, that, uh... th-that's right, Nate.
Uh, Little Joe is right.
And I'll tell you something else, too.
We, uh... You know, me and Little Joe, we've been studying
these rabbits, and we, uh...
we heard something the other day kind of interesting.
We heard that, uh...
What'd we hear, Joe? What?
Oh, what we heard. We heard... Oh, what we heard was
that, uh... that old, old rabbits, very o-old rabbits,
th-they're the best kind of rabbits.
Yeah, Nate, uh, Little Joe is right.
If you... if you
sell young coats, all-all the hair falls out.
Really give you a black eye in the business.
I mean, really, it'd be terrible.
That's right. Uh, uh, horrible.
Not half as terrible and horrible
as if a certain party comes up minus a birthday present.
What do you mean by that, Nate?
I heard a distant rumor that you boys have been making pets
out of all these hippity-hops.
Oh, now-now... Oh, that's silly.
Now wait a minute... Wait a minute nothing!
Your silent partner's just about ready to become un-silenced
and start yelping good and loud.
Now, Nate, you're jumping to conclusions.
Well, could be, but...
I don't know, my investments look all right to me.
Well, they, uh... they look good, Nate, and-and all,
but-but they need a little aging.
All right. I'll give you one week.
Nate, you're being sort of shortsighted.
And one week only because, well, Ben and I have been friends
since we were... No buts at all! But, Nate...
And If I find out I've been flimflammed,
friendship ceases
and that birthday present of Ben's comes back to the stable.
You understand?
Giddap!
We got to do something.
We-we got to float a loan or something
and, and get out of our partnership with that fiend.
Yeah. There's just one thing wrong
with this whole situation, little brother.
Yeah? What's that?
Well, our friend the fiend there, Nate, is right.
Business is business.
Yeah, but the rabbits. We can't... we can't sell 'em.
Hey, here comes Pa.
Well, he sure looks smooth-gaited, Pa.
Yeah. A pleasure to sit.
You can always count on getting a good spirited animal
from old Nate, can't you?
Hey, that saddle looks fine on him, too.
Yeah, almost broke in.
0h!
Hey, Pa, you-you all right?
Get your... take your hands off me! Take 'em off!
Don't touch me! All right, that does it.
That was the last straw, the very last straw, you hear?
Get rid of those long-haired... those long-long...
dong-haired, long-eared r-rodents! Rabbits. Rabbits.
Oh. Get rid of 'em!
Pa. And go get my horse
before he runs from here back to Virginia City, do you hear me?
Yes, sir. Hurry up now! On the double! Get!
Rodents.
Boys miss dinner.
Must be chasing new horse long way.
Yeah, they'll hang tough after that horse.
Empty belly sometimes good lesson for soft heart.
Yeah.
They miss a meal or two, it might even sharpen
their business senses, Hop Sing.
Good night, Mr. Cartwright.
Good night.
These rich-living rabbits been having it too easy, Clyde.
We got to put a lot more in a crate,
or else we're gonna run out of crates.
Not so loud.
I still got some rock salt in my bottom
from when I was stealing chickens when I was a kid.
You're getting more like an old lady all the time.
They already done gone to bed.
Now, come on, get in, let's get these rabbits out of here.
You don't have to talk so loud.
Well, I got to get these rabbits out of here.
You talk too much.
Howdy.
H-H-How-Howdy, Ben.
I-I know what you're thinking, but you know us, Ben.
We ain't just common thieves.
That's right, Ben.
You caught me and Clyde,
but me and Clyde's got a contract to fill, and,
well, we got to...
How'd you like it...
if I helped you fill that contract?
What do you mean?
What I mean is that these rabbits have to go.
Oh, you mean they're getting to be pests, ain't they?
Yeah, in a manner of speaking.
My sons are doing too good a job raising these rabbits,
so I'm taking over before... these rabbits take over.
Meaning you'll sell.
If the price is right.
Well, me and Clyde is receptive.
Now, let me get this, uh, straight, see if I'm right.
You're to pay two dollars for each rabbit. That right?
That's right, cured and skinned.
Skinned and cured.
Well, since, uh, I aim to deliver these rabbits to you
at, uh... well, sort of half done, so to speak,
I think a dollar and a half would be fair.
Oh, no, Ben. A dollar and a quarter
is more with the line in the going market.
Dollar and a half.
Barlow, I'll-I'll shave my take a mite
just to meet his dollar and a half.
Ben, you sure are snug with a dollar.
But seeing as how you got me and Clyde cornered here,
I'll give you a hundred dollar for the whole shebang.
Hundred dollars?
Why, there's more than 200 rabbits here.
A hundred and 30 dollars.
Hundred and 50.
A hundred and 50?!
Cash.
That sure is hard money.
But, Ben, if you'd kindly give us a little hand here
and help us loading, it sure would ease the pain.
Howdy, Nate.
Don't you howdy me, Ben Cartwright.
Nate, you sound a little out of sorts.
What's the trouble? Trouble?
Those sons of yours are trying to skin me
out of my third interest in the rabbit raising.
That's the trouble.
Make sense, Nate.
Luckily, I ran into Barlow and Clyde,
and they told me about the tender-hearted Cartwright boys.
Tender-hearted Car...
What are you talking about?
I made a deal with Hess and Little Joe
for one third interest in their rabbit raising,
for the use of my stable and-and, uh,
that birthday present they give you.
Oh.
Well, that, uh...
that, uh, sure puts a new light on things, doesn't it?
It sure does.
Now, if that little horse is in good health,
I'll just take him back and charge a... a day's rental.
Fair enough, Ben? Yeah.
He's in the stable, isn't he?
Uh, uh, Nate, uh...
Nate, you, uh... you told me
you'd sell me that black for $150.
That was my price.
Yeah. Well...
I guess it's a deal, then.
You, uh...
you got time for a cup of coffee?
Obliged, Ben, but...
I got the missus watching the stable while I'm away.
Yeah.
And her... her hay fever always kicks up
something awful if she has to stay there too long.
Well, I'm sorry to have caused you all the trouble, Nate.
Oh, reckon there was no harm done.
Bye, Ben. Bye, Nate.
Come on.
The wild geese have come home.
There's... there's not-not... not a scratch on him.
We saved him for you, Pa.
This one... this one ain't even got a scratch on it, Pa. It's...
Where's the rest of the saddle?
Well, you... you-you were right about one thing yet.
That horse is quick as a cat. Yeah.
Boy, you know, you know horses, don't you?
You sure do, Pa. Where is the rest of the saddle?
Hey, but, uh...
Here it is.
You know, Pa, there's, uh...
there's just a whole bunch of low-hanging limbs
all over the Ponderosa.
No, and the bru... and the brush.
You remember the brush? Oh...
You couldn't... you couldn't cut...
cut through it with an ax, Pa.
Rocks and boulders and...
I had that saddle for three days.
You know, Pa, that...
that horse tried to go through places
that-that a worm couldn't get through.
Had that saddle almost broken in.
Well, the... the-the bri... the bridle.
The bridle's in good, good shape.
Yeah, take a look at that bridle.
That saddle cost me $100.
Hundred dollars. Yeah.
Hey, well, you-you... you know... you know,
as-as... as handy as Hoss is, Pa,
he-he... he could take all these pieces
and then, and just whip you up a new saddle, just...
He...
You boys rub down that horse real good.
Yes, sir.
And I'll see you two in the house.
Yes, sir.
Here's your, uh...
It's part...
What do you think?
Well, I think we just got stuck for the price of a new saddle.
That's what I think.
Ah.
You sure you couldn't take these and kind of hook 'em tog...?
Hook... make...?
Honestly.
Well, see boys find way home.
Yes, they found their way home.
Hop Sing think ahead.
Already got half of pantry cooking on stove.
Well, by the time I get through with those boys,
they may not have an appetite left to eat with.
Oh, no matter what happen,
Mr. Hoss got fine big belly to fill.
He sure has.
Pa, we've been robbed! Robbed. Some dirty rustler.
Pa, we've been robbed. Pa.
They're gone. They're all gone.
All our Gerby Royals. Gone, been rustled.
The Ger... There's not a Gerby in the barn.
The cages are gone. Everything's gone.
I know.
You know?
I sold 'em.
Sold? You sold 'em?
For cash to Barlow and Clyde.
Oh, Pa, Barlow and... Barlow and Clyde.
Yeah, had to sell 'em at a sacrifice,
but I figure $150 is better than nothing.
The babies. You sold the babies and everything?
Babies and everything. Pa, how could you?
How could you sell 'em to... to them butchers?!
Well, I'll tell you why, Hoss.
I figured I had to get rid of 'em,
but I also sold them an idea.
I convinced them
that they could make an even bigger profit off those rabbits
if they sold them at Easter time as pets.
As pets? As pets?
Yeah.
You mean alive?
Well, of course alive.
Hey, that's a good idea. Alive.
Hey, then they're all right. Of course.
They're all right. Yeah.
Well, the rabbits are all right, we made
$150. 150 bucks.
Yeah. Hey.
Uh, not quite.
You see, I figure that your rabbits were really responsible
for ruining my brand-new $100 saddle.
Now, you're not going to mind paying for it, will you?
So bucks. Well, profit's a profit.
It's a profit, right? $50. We'll take it.
Uh, not quite.
You see, uh, Nate Swenson was here a little while ago.
Hey?
Does that ring a bell? Nate Swenson?
I gave him the $50 for the horse.
Well...
So we broke even.
The rabbits are all right and we broke even.
We couldn't ask... Uh, not quite.
See, the horse is really $150.
I gave him your $50
and I had to add another $100 out of my own money
for my birthday present.
Yeah.
Well, you... you-you know what they always say.
Yeah.
What do they always say?
Yeah. What?
They-- uh, they... oh, they always...
they always say it's-it's better to-to give than to receive.
Yeah.
You've heard them say that.
Well, I'm glad you think of it that way, boys.
Because now I know you're going to be very happy
about giving me your next three months' wages.
Oh.
My birthday present.
Well... hap...
happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
Uh, Joe,
what do you think you're doing?
Oh, I was just gonna try Pa's horse out a minute.
Joseph, that's a brand-new saddle. $100.
Well, I know it's a brand-new saddle, $100.
I'm gonna break it in a little bit for Pa.
Don't you worry, brother.
Don't you worry.
Where'd he... Where'd he go?
I'll give you one big, jumpin' guess which way.
Oh, no. Get it, get it!
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