All language subtitles for 8.12 A Real Nice, Friendly Little Town

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Well, that's game.

Ben, that's game.

That's two beers you owe me.

Come on, how about another one?

That young son of mine
should have been back by now.

Oh, Pa, it's gonna take him
quite a spell

to round up all them horses.

It doesn't have
to take this long, does it?

Oh, Ben, quit being
an old mother hen.

You know Little Joe
can take care of himself.

Here he comes now.

Why you riding like that, Joe?
What have you...

what have you got that saddle
all around you for?

Because I can't sit down.

Why not?

I got sh-shot.

Shot?!

Where?

Right in the middle
of the Ponderosa.

Help-help me down.

No. Wait!

Wait a minute. That's...

Easy. Easy. Easy! Easy...

Oh... no!

Who shot you, Joe?

I don't...

I don't know.

Well, what happened?

I was...

I was running
towards this fella, see.

Wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait a minute.

Were you running backwards?

No, I wasn't running backwards.

A bullet ricocheted
off a rock near Willow Creek.

Well, just don't stand there.

Do something.

Like what?

Like go after him.

Go after who?

The man that shot me.

Well, who was he?

I told you I don't know!

Joseph, Joseph, just calm down.

Calm down? Now, let's try
to make some sense out of this.

Come on, now,
sit down over there.

Pa, I-I told you,

I-I can't sit down, Pa.

I can't sit...

What's this?
Whose hat is this?

It's his hat.

Whose hat?

The man that...
the man that shot me's hat!

All right now,
quiet down everybody.

If a crime has been committed...

"If a crime
has been committed'

Did you hear that?

"If a crime has been committed."

Now, hold everything, Joe.

Just give me the facts,
will you?

Give him the facts.

All right, here are the facts.

Here are the facts.

I'm riding along,
Pa, peacefully.

I'm riding along,
I ride over a ridge.

There I see a man
lassoing one of our horses.

I get off my horse,
and I start to go towards him.

He shoots at me.

I shoot at him, he shoots at me.

I think, I think I hit him
in the left shoulder.

And I know where he hit me.

Then I-I shot
that hat off his head.

Seems like you fellas

were playing a little game
of heads and tails.

You...

There's a name in here,
J. Rikeman.

That mean anything to you?

Never heard of him.

What did he look like, Joe?

I don't know.

He was too-too far away.

Well, I'll do some investigating
as soon as I can.

As soon as you can?
How soon is that?

Well, I don't know.

I got to meet Sheriff Coffee
in Carson City tomorrow morning.

I'm sorry, Joe.

Well, look, if you're,
if you're just gonna

let murderers get away
snot-free,

maybe we could use
a new deputy around here.

Now, wait a minute, Joe.

Wait a minute.

Could you send,
uh, the other deputy?

Well, he's got the measles, Ben.

"Got the measles."

Measles.

I'm sorry,
I can't do anything right now.

Well, could you deputize
somebody else?

Well, like who?

Want to give it a try, Hoss?

It's all right,
brother, forget it.

Forget it.

Let the man who tried
to murder your brother,

your own brother,
your own flesh and blood,

let him ride away.

Let him get away snot-free.

Forget I asked you.

I'll swear you in.

Do you?

I do.

You are.

I think I'll, uh,

go in the house, S-soak my feet.

Howdy.

Nice weather we're having, huh?

Tolerable.

I'm looking for a fella
by the name of Rikeman,

J. Rikeman.
You ever hear of him?

Nope.

Thanks.

Welcome.

♪♪

Howdy, ma'am.

Hi.

Hey.

Howdy, boys.

Can't trust a man
Charlie don't like.

I reckon this is Charlie, huh?

That's Charlie.

Well, maybe
he just don't know me.

Neither do we.

Yeah, the name's Cartwright.

Hoss Cartwright.

Ponderosa Cartwrights?

That's right.

May be wrong.

What you doing
on our patch of land?

I'm, uh, looking for a fella
by the name of Rikeman.

Well, I can open, fellas.

Which Rikeman?

Just J. Rikeman's all I know.

You a friend of his?

No. Uh, as a matter of fact,
I ain't never seen him.

I'm-I'm a special deputy.

I just want to ask him
some questions.

You aiming to arrest him?

Well, that...
that sort of depends.

So, um,
you don't know Rikeman, huh?

No. I ain't got much of
a description of him, neither.

Well...

Maybe we can, uh,
help him out, huh, boys?

I'd appreciate that.

Well, Rikeman has got
two heads--

Each one of 'em meaner
than the other one--

Got four arms
that move like sidewinders

and four legs
that stomp like mules.

Uses a wagon tongue
for a toothpick,

and he can shoot a bumblebee
in the behind at 400 yards.

Just an ordinary
sort of fella, then, huh?

Might say that.

You've been a big help.

Thanks.

Welcome.

Beer.

No beer.

Milk?

No milk.

Water?

No charge.

Thanks.

Welcome.

Up in the hills,
we got a lot of wild hogs.

Wild hogs got big noses.

Sometimes they put their noses
in the wrong place,

and when they do, they get bit.

I can see that news travels fast
around here.

Yeah.

Especially bad news.

Meaning what?

Meaning...

don't be a hog.

Hey, we don't allow no dogs
around here.

He ain't mine.

I wasn't talking about him.

You know, this is really
and truly a nice,

friendly little town, yes, sir.

I've been here 20 minutes,
and in those 20 minutes,

I've been snapped at,
snipped at and snarled at,

and I got a funny feeling that
if I hang around much longer,

I'm liable to get shot at.

I came into this town
looking for a fella

I've never seen before
named J. Rikeman.

Know very little about him.

One thing--
he likes to shoot at fellers.

Another thing is
he likes to freeload

on other peoples' broodmares.

I got another funny feeling.

I got a funny feeling
I just found him.

Put your gun up there on the bar
and slide it down.

Move.

You, too, buddy.

On the bar.

What's your name?

Rikeman, J.

Your name, not your initial.

J for Jeb.

Yours?

Judd.

Well...

looks like I hit the jackpot,
don't it, boys?

I didn't know
your kind came in bunches.

But if there's a dozen of you,

I'm gonna take you
back to Virginia City

and you're gonna stand trial.

Virginia City?

Oh, that's about 80,
100 miles from here.

I haven't been out of town
half a mile in a year.

Me neither.

That's good.

You can tell it to the judge.

Now, wait a minute,
I don't see any sense in that.

Jeb just told you he hasn't been
within miles of that place,

and I told you the same thing.

Now, it seems to me
that's about the end of it.

Besides,
nobody got killed, did they?

That's right.

Nobody did get killed.

But how did you know that?

Oh, he wasn't telling you.

He was just asking.

Yeah?

Well, from now on,
I'm going to do the asking.

And you boys are gonna
do the answering.

Now let's get over
and see the sheriff.

I'm sure you've had occasion
to meet him several times.

Now, now just a minute.

You got any proof
of what you been saying?

I got all the proof
I need, buddy.

Now get moving.

Kind of looks like
your percentage is gone.

Got a nice, even fight
right here.

Ain't you fellas a little bit
young for all this rough stuff?

Yeah, but you see,
we're gonna get older.

You mightn't.

Well, how do you want it?

For, uh, keeps or for fun?

All right.
All right.

I'm getting just about sick
and tired of this town and you.

And that goes for you,
too, Charlie.

And all this talk.

Now, come on.

0h!

I'm sorry, ma'am.
I'm terribly sorry.

Here, I'll help you
pick this stuff up.

We're having a little
disagreement in there.

There you are, ma'am.

Let loose of 'em.

All right, you two, git.

I said to you, git!

But, ma'am, these two...
Let 'em out of here.

Ma'am, I don't want them two...
Now...

you pick up that chair
and sit down.

This is the second time
this month

this place has been busted up.

Well, don't we always
clean it up for you?

Give me my gun.

All right, you two, git.

We're just getting
our irons, Ma.

Ma'am, I sure would like to...
They won't go far.

When they're all heated up,
they'll just be more trouble.

You, uh, you ought
to relax some yourself.

Now, just... cool off.

Hey, let me see fatso's gun.

What are you gonna do?
What are you gonna do?

Ooh-hoo...

Reckon he'll be
a real little man now, huh?

Oh, come on, come on, come on.

You look like a real nice man.

What I can see of you.

What are you doing picking on
those two little boys?

"Two little boys"? Ha!

That's a laugh.

Meaning a couple of wild bulls,

those "two little boys,"
as you call them.

Well... they...

they might be
a little ornery...

but, uh...

they're real good hands,

they work real hard,
and out on the ranch

they're as quiet
as a couple of milk cows.

You know, this is a real
small town and they are young,

and maybe there isn't too much
excitement around here for 'em.

They work for you?

Well, that's a hard question--
sometimes I don't know

whether they work for me
or I work for them.

I guess it's a little bit
of both. I'm their mother.

Ma'am, I...

hate to tell you this, but...

one of your boys is
guilty of attempted horse theft

and assault
with a deadly weapon.

Well, you got, uh...
you got positive proof

that one of my boys
did what you say?

No, ma'am,
I ain't got proof positive,

but there's lots
of circumstantial evidence.

Any horses took?

No, ma'am.

Any money took?

No.

Anybody got shot?

Yeah.

Yeah, somebody got shot.

My little brother got shot,
that's who got shot.

Where was he shot?

Well, he was shot in the...

He was shot...

well, where the...
person meets the saddle.

Well, that don't sound
too serious to me.

Well, how would you like
to get shot in the...?

Well, is your brother
all right now?

Well, he can't sit down.

Well...

you know, you look like
a real reasonable young man.

And on the basis
of what you have just told me...

mister, you can go
shinny up a gum tree.

You think I'm gonna turn over
one of my boys to you

or to anybody else,
you are wrong.

Mister, your case
is a bottle short.

Uh, ma'am, why don't we let
the court decide that?

Strange court in a strange town,

with the judge scratching
the sheriff's back

and the sheriff scratching
the judge's back.

They're both up for election,

and the local people
are breathing down their necks.

A man would have a fine chance
in a court like that.

Besides, in my opinion,
it just ain't much of a crime.

My boys are young
and they're feisty

and a little bit rougher than
most, but they ain't criminals.

The meeting's now adjourned.
Ma'am...

may I just suggest that they...
they try to clear themselves?

Is your brother a young fella?

Yes'm.

He's got lots of time
to sit down.

♪♪

Freddie, have you seen my gun?

Here.
Ah. Very good.

Thanks.

Welcome.

♪♪

I bumped
into that lady a while ago

and knocked all...

♪♪

♪♪

You know...

can't trust a man
that Charlie don't like.

Pretty lively
little ruckus over there.

Saw most of it from here.

Didn't go over, though.

Can't stand
the sight of blood. Heh.

Chaw?

No, thanks.

You ought to.

I've been chawing
since I was seven.

Tobacco kills the germs
so as your gums don't rot.

You in, uh,
some sort of trouble?

Nope.

Just doing my job.

In town to pick up a fella
by the name of Rikeman.

Oh, then you are in trouble.

Which one you after,
Jeb or Judd?

Well, there's
sort of a problem there.

I... I don't know
which one I'm after.

Well, whoever it is you want,
whatever was it he did?

Well, he tried to steal a horse
and he shot a man.

Kill him?

Nope.

Too bad.

Could've used the business.

You a sheriff?

Nope. I'm just a special deputy
that's... sent into town

to pick up Rikeman and take him
back to stand trial, that's all.

And you can't figure out which
one you want-- that about it?

That's about it.

Well, that is a problem,
all right, all right.

Now, the Rikeman boys,
they ain't killers.

Of course,
there ain't a henhouse in town

they ain't thieved, and...

Neighbors all grease their pigs

when they see
the Rikeman boys coming.

Maybe they steal
just out of plain cussedness.

They ain't never thieved a bank

or shot anybody
or anything important like that.

They're just trying to be
real outlaws

and just can't seem to make it.

Yeah.

Give 'em time.

You might be right.

They're mean enough
for anything.

Eh, but Willie Mae,

she keeps both of 'em
on a right short rein.

Yeah, quite a woman,
Willie Mae. Yeah.

You sure you don't want a chaw?

You ought to have a chaw.

Hardens up the jaw muscles.

Could you tell me where
the sheriff's office is at?

Well... half the time
it's in the jail,

and the other half the time
it's in the saloon.

Now, if he ain't in jail,
he's drunk.

If he ain't in the saloon,
he's broke.

Well, now he
ain't in the saloon,

so he must be in the jail.

It's down the street.

Thanks.

It won't do you
much good, though.

The sheriff,
he's a real character.

He ain't normal
like the rest of us folks here.

Putting him in charge
of the hoosegow

is like putting a fox
in charge of the chickens.

He likes his liquor,

ain't shot his gun
in five years,

except maybe
to chase off a few crows,

and he's yellower than
a dry cornstalk.

Otherwise, he's a...
he's a pretty nice fella.

You sure you don't want a chaw?

No, thanks.
Have it your own way.

Uh, you, uh, you need
any business, though,

you call on me.

I shave 'em cleaner and keener,

and bury 'em deeper and cheaper.

Thanks.

Welcome.

Howdy.

You, uh...

you the sheriff?

I guess I am.

What's on your mind?

Well, I...

I got sort of a problem.

You got a problem?

I got sciatica,
my wife's got the croup,

and I ain't been paid
in four months.

And you got a problem. Ha!

Well, let's have it.

Well, I...

I've been deputized to come here

and pick up a man
for questioning.

Questioning for what?

For horse-thieving
and shooting at a man.

Who do you claim shot him?

Fella by the name of Rikeman.

Just one man named Rikeman?

That's right.

Well, now, that's different.

We got two Rikemans here.

Which one was it?

I-I don't know.

He don't know.

What do you think of that,
Skinny?

When you find out,

come back.

If I do, will I get a warrant?

No.

Why not?

Until I get paid my wages,
I don't do nothing.

Well, I reckon that sort of
leaves me on my own, don't it?

And good luck to you.

Oh, uh, if there's any shooting,

don't expect me
to come a-running.

No.

Don't worry, I won't.

And by the way,

you get this varmint
off my back, or...

...pop goes the weasel.

Thanks.

Welcome.
Welcome.

You still in town?

Yeah.

You know, Freddie, a peculiar
thing about this town.

You look at it from a distance

and it's as pretty
as a wildflower.

But you get in close
and take a good look at it

and it takes on the appearance
of a cactus--

It's thorny, sticky
and poisonous.

You talk real pretty.

Yeah.

Freddie, maybe you
can talk pretty.

I need some information.

Sorry, we just plumb ran out
of information.

Freddie...

where do the Rikeman boys
hang out?

Look, like I said,
we're fresh out of information.

But we just got in
a big supply of advice.

You're too nosy for your own...

Don't hit me, mister.

Don't you hit me.

I'm a sick man.

Yeah. Yep, you sure are at that.

That's using your head,
young feller.

Too many people using
their fists around here.

Now how about a touch?

It might ease your temper.

No, thanks.

Tastes like formaldehyde.

Why do you drink it?

It's all you've got.

You talk to the sheriff?

Yep.

Was I right?

Right as rain.

Well, I guess you'll saddle up

and trot on home, huh?

No, sir.

No, sir. I came here to do
a job, and I'm going to do it.

That's the kind of talk
I like to hear.

You know, I still think
it was the Rikemans

stole them bronze handles
off that coffin

I had sent up here
for ol' Colonel Atchison.

Well, they might act
a little rough at times,

but they're local boys
and they're good customers.

I wish they was customers
of mine.

Well, good luck.

Maybe them Rikemans will get
buggy-whipped after all.

Well, you can't fish a stream
that's dry.

I ain't been able
to locate them.

No line on 'em, huh?

Nope.

This town is full of advice
but danged little information.

Well, I'll tell you now.

You go out that door, you ride
south for a mile and a half,

turn left at Superstition Fork
for a half-mile

and you'll see what looks like
an overgrown outhouse

standing there mean and nasty
behind a stand of wild oaks.

There's also a rickety barn
filled with stolen saddles

and probably
a re-branded steer or two.

There's no telling what or who
you might find out there.

Are you sure you won't have
a touch just to get you going?

No, thanks.

Well, if anybody should
turn up dead,

and I hope it ain't you,
I'd appreciate the business.

I know, cheaper and deeper,
right?

Yeah.
Yeah. Thanks.

Welcome.

♪♪

If you ever expect to be
a deputy around here,

you'd better settle down, boy.

♪♪

Hey!
Hey, let me down from here!

Confound it,
cut me down from here!

Hey, you two, cut me down here,
you two little skunks!

Dad-burnit, quit playing games

and cut me down from here,
you two jackasses.

Swing the bear. Swing the bear!

Hey. Hey, let me down
from here. Swing the bear!

Hey, you two...

Swing the bear!
Dad-burnit, cut me down here,

you two little skunks!
Swing the bear!

Swing the bear!
You better hope your ma's here

to protect you when I get
down... Get me down!

Swing the bear!

Hold it!

I said hold it!

Oh, Ma.
Come on, Ma.

Well, what are you hanging
around here for?

Well, just visiting, ma'am.

Just visiting.

No, Ma, he was trespassing.

We got a right to do
whatever... Shut up.

Now, you have been butting
these two little boys around

like a billy goat, and you've
been making serious charges.

Now let's just quit
all this butting around

and have a showdown right now.

Well, that suits me fine, ma'am.

That's fair enough.

Oh, come on, Ma.

Just... let me just
hit him once.

Shut up.

Let him down.

Thanks.

Welcome.
Welcome.

All right, now,

you claim that one of these boys
did something

and they claim
that they-they didn't.

Somebody's lying.

I stand with my boys.

Now you're on trial here,
not them.

Well, ma'am, it appears that
these little boys of yours

are closer than a couple
of buckwheats,

but one of 'em...
Well, I heard all that before.

Uh, you got any evidence?

Yes'm, I sure do.

I didn't come all this way
without some evidence.

You can bet on that.

This hat...

this hat was found
at the scene of the crime.

Exhibit "A," Your Honor.

Well, all it is
is a hat with a hole in it.

Uh-huh.

And with a name in it.

"J. Rikeman."

Jeb, you lose a hat?

No, ma'am.

Judd?

No, ma'am.

Ma'am, that hat
is pretty damaging evidence.

Well, somebody
could have stole it.

Well, when did all this
take place?

Two days ago. Tuesday.

Jeb, where were you
on Tuesday?

Well... seems to me

I was back in the barn
all day, uh...

soaping up some saddles.

Judd?

Let me see, uh...

I-I think I was in town, uh,
fighting Rog Jones.

Oh, that was Monday
I fought Rog.

You'd better do
some remembering.

Yeah.

I know where I was.

I-I was down near the creek
chasing some stray sheep.

Well, you know that we don't own
no sheep.

Yeah, but I figured
it was about time we did,

and, well, pickings get pretty
lean around here at times, Ma.

Ma.

Now, this is the third
or fourth time that I told you.

Maybe we'll starve,
but we'll starve honest.

I did it for you, Ma.

I suppose you shot that man
for me, too.

No, Ma, honest I didn't.

Ask Jeb.

I had my hat on, too,
didn't I, Jeb?

Well...

Now, son, I want the truth.

To be fair, Judd, I-I remember
seeing you, all right.

Like-like when you come
in the barn all tuckered out,

kind of breathing hard and...

Yeah, yeah, but that-that was...
that was from chasing

that sheep, Jeb, now, it was.
Well, but what I don't remember

is... I don't remember
did you have your hat on.

Oh, now, Jeb, Jeb, please,
you got to remember. Now,

I might've taken my hat off
later or something,

but I had it when I came back.
I had it on.

Now think hard, son--
and I don't want you to lie--

Did he have his hat on or not?

Well, um...

I hate to do this to you, Judd,

but I have to tell the truth.

Ma, I don't think he did.

Jeb.

Well, take him away.

I, uh, tried
to raise him decent. I-I, uh...

I did my best.

But I guess
when all you got is a...

piece of scrub ground
and no husband and...

I'm sorry, ma'am. I am.

What'll happen to him?
Well...

Ain't nothing gonna happen
to him 'cause he ain't going!

You put that gun away.
No, Ma.

Listen, I didn't try
to steal that horse

and I-I didn't gun that man
neither.

Now, Jeb, you stay here and
you help Ma 'cause I'm leaving.

Now you do like I say.

If you're not guilty
like you claim,

nothing is going
to happen to you.

But if you run off,

I swear to you you'll never be
welcome on our land again.

There.

Well, maybe it's not
all his fault.

Maybe a... lot of the blame's
with me.

I might've treated him
like he was too young or...

like he was too old.
I don't know.

All right, mister. He's yours.

Ma'am,

as it turns out...

he's not the one I want.

What happened to that arm, Jeb?

Well, uh, just a scratch.
Um, I scratched it on a tree.

Looks like a bullet wound to me.

It's a burn.

My little brother said he might
have winged him in the left arm.

Jeb?

Well, all right, I shot him,
but I didn't mean to.

I was just trying
to scare him off.

About that mare, Ma,
I just figured we could use her.

Yeah, I know you did it for me.

But you let your own brother...

No, I wasn't gonna let him down!

I was gonna chase 'em along,
behind-behind the trail,

you know? And then I was gonna
bushwhack him.

Judd, you believe that?

No, Ma.

You tried to lay the blame
on me, huh?

You tried to I...

Boys. Hey, boys...
No, let 'em be.

No, it's okay.

Hey, you're gonna take one
of my boys away,

and I don't even know your name.

Cartwright, ma'am.
Hoss Cartwright.

Ponderosa Cartwrights?

Yes'm, that's-that's it.

Want a drink?

Yes'm, I'd like one. Thank you.

I hear your pa's
a real fine man.

Well, we think so.

Yeah, you're lucky.

You're real lucky to have a pa
like Ben Cartwright.

You got a ma?

No.

Every boy ought to have a ma.

But if he had his choice,

I reckon every boy
would rather have a pa.

It is real hard raising
a couple of wild buffaloes.

You know, a boy needs a man to
teach him how to hunt and fish

and work and ride and be a man

instead of an animal. Yeah.

With a girl, it's different.

Ma'am, don't you think
I ought to...?

No, no, no, no, they...

That happens all the time.

You know, my husband, bless him,

he had a real quick temper,
just like them.

And he had a-a hard fist
and a dry throat,

but he never drew a gun on a man
in his life,

and I sure do hate
to see one of my boys starting.

You know,
maybe it's a good thing

that this thing happened now.

Make your mistakes when
you're young enough to fix 'em.

What'll happen to him?

Well, ma'am,

I don't know what the...
what the penalty is

for shooting a man in the...

well, where he...

Where his person
meets the saddle?

Yeah.

There wasn't no horse stolen,
and...

and the shooting was accidental,
my little brother said that.

Maybe they won't do nothing more
than just fine him.

Well, I just hope
it's a little one.

We just spent
our last four dollars on books.

I was... I was hoping that
I could teach 'em how to read.

Yeah.

You know, Hoss,

that is the first time
that Judd ever whipped Jeb.

Well, maybe that's 'cause
he knew he was right, ma'am.

Son, here's something for you
and Hess to eat on the road.

Well, we'd better get
on the way.

It's gonna be dark before long.

You ain't mad at me,
are you, Judd?

No, Jeb.

Bye, Ma.

Y'all take good care
of her, now.

We'll be waiting for you, son.

I hated to make such a nuisance
of myself, Mrs. Rikeman.

You've been mighty cooperative.

Thanks.

Welcome!

You know,
if we'd been in a real gunfight,

you'd have been
in a whole lot of trouble.

Oh, yeah?

How is that?

Well, why don't you just take
out your gun and shoot it some?

Shoot at what?

Oh, anything.

Whoa.

You mean like that?

But-but I-I put the...

I reckon you must have fixed it.

Yeah. I did that, Jeb.

Let me tell you something, boy.

I don't wear this gun
in a pair of diapers.

I check it
and I clean it every night.

A gun can either be your best
friend or your worst enemy.

And don't you forget it.

You got to learn
to respect 'em, Jeb.

That's one thing among many
you've got yet to learn.

Yeah, I know.

Boy, there's a whole mess
of things I got to learn.

Yeah.

You know, nobody in our family
ever been in jail before.

Like my pa, I...

I never shot anybody in my life.

See, I shot towards
your brother, not at him.

I was scared, I guess.

Must have been
a ricochet got him.

Boy, I'm sure glad
he ain't hurt bad.

Funny thing is,

the one gets hurt the most
is Ma.

She always tried so hard
to do good with me and Judd.

You know, Jeb,

that was a dad-burned fool thing
I just done,

shooting up your hat,
the only evidence I got.

Can't have much of a case
against you without it, can we?

Well, I reckon
there ain't but one thing to do

and that's let you go.

You get on back to your ma, boy.

But... I want you
to remember this.

If you ever do anything
to hurt your ma again, boy,

I'll come after you personally

and you'll have to answer to me.

You remember that.

Now git.

Thanks!

Welcome.

Well, it's about time
he showed up.

Well, good to see you back.

Howdy, Pa, Joe.

Well, uh...
How'd it go?

Did you-you find him?

Well, in a way.

What do you mean "in a way"?

Well, I mean I found him,
but he got away.

That's what I mean.

How come?

Well, he...

he was big, Pa, and mean. Whew.

Hoss, I-I just don't think
you were cut out to be a lawman.

Yeah.

Yeah, I... I reckon
I wasn't at that, Pa.

But I'll tell you,
I learned something.

I learned to be grateful.

For what?

To you for being such a good pa

to Joe and me and Adam.

Teaching us how to hunt
and fish and...

ride and work and...

just stuff like that.

Just... everything in general.

Just grateful.
Anything wrong with that?

No.

No, there isn't.

Oh, I-I want you to know
how grateful I am to you

for what a wonderful job
you've done for me.

Thanks.

Welcome.

I'm glad he's back.
Now, what was that all about?

Ow!

Your move.

Yeah, my move.

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of the NBC Television Network.