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Sorry. Sorry.

Miss Annie.

Hello, Hoss!

Here, let me do that.

You ain't got no business doing all this old heavy work.

Why, I say, I been cleaning stalls and pitching hay

since before you was born.

Yeah, well, maybe it's time you was taking a break, huh?

Uh, Charlie will be back in a minute.

Say, I'm... I'm afraid he, uh, ain't found time yet

to order that new harness that your father wanted.

Oh, that's all right, Miss Annie.

I can come back later, pick that up.

Whoa.

Annie!

I'm here!

Oh, there you are.

Oh, howdy, Hoss.

Howdy, Charlie.

Good to see you.

Wait till you see what I got here.

Yeah?

You didn't bring home another one of them

surefire moneymaking deals, did you,

like that posthole digger that did everything except dig?

No, sir. No, sir.

That was foolishness.

Wait till you see this.

This is the pure quill.

I can sell them for ten dollars apiece, maybe more.

Thousands of them.

99% profit.

That's a... that's a stirrup, ain't it, Charlie?

Not a stirrup; it's the stirrup.

That's-that's the kind them Eastern dudes wear

on them pancake saddles.

Feel it.

No slip.

Guaranteed to hold the boot.

Silver-plated.

Guaranteed silver-plated iron.

Not wood like ours.

Guess how much they're gonna cost me.

Oh, I ain't got no way of knowing it.

Go on, guess.

Well, I don't know, Charlie. I...

How much are they gonna cost, Charlie?

So cents apiece.

Fifty...?

How much money have you given them so far?

Who said I give them anything?

This calls for a celebration, Hoss,

and the drinks are on me.

We'll be back directly, Annie.

I don't want you doing any heavy lifting while we're gone.

Just leave everything where it is.

I'll straighten it up when I get back.

You always do, Charlie.

Now, mind you, don't forget dinner!

And, Hoss, I'm expecting you.

Miss Annie, I'd love to, but I've got to get back...

Don't you say no.

I've got the nicest peach pie waiting for you.

Doggone it, Miss Annie, you got the...

you got the most convincing way of arguing I ever heard.

Good. I'll see you later.

You know, Hoss, I didn't let Annie in on everything.

These females ain't got too good a head for finance.

Well, what would you say if I could get the franchise

on that stirrup for every state west of the Mississippi?

Oh, Charlie, they gonna...

they gonna give you that for nothing?

Well, the next door to nothing.

A hundred dollars.

I got that much tucked away.

How many horses do you think's in the state of Nevada alone?

A million? Two million?

At ten dollars apiece.

That's why I say things never looked better, Hoss. Huh?

So, there I was,

pinned down in that dugout, freezing blizzard wind...

Bruno!

Blizzard blowing down on me.

Out there on that hogback sits old Black Kettle,

surrounded by his warriors, over a hundred of them.

What'd you do, Charlie?

Did you fight 'em?

Fight 'em? No, no, no.

That would've riled them up.

No, sir.

No, sir, I rigged me up a white flag.

And I walked out there...

knowing any minute one of them savages

might run me clean through with a lance.

And I says, "Black Kettle...

"I know you boys is hungry, I know it,

but you're not gonna get no grub fighting for it here."

And then a lot of other palaver, all in In jun, of course.

And... well, anyway, I ended up trading an old slab-sided beef

for two of the prettiest pinto ponies

you ever seen in your life.

The general told me afterwards, he says what I done

probably saved the whole settlement

from being burnt clean to the ground.

They give you a medal, Charlie?

No.

But I got something a lot better.

I traded them two pintos to the general

for a half dozen draft horses.

And that was the foundation of my first fortune.

When did all this happen, Charlie?

Uh, Christmastime, December, I think it was.

This was Kansas Territory?

That's what I said.

You better get your time straight--

'Cause the Cheyennes had already gone south by then.

You calling me a liar, sonny?

Well, the Seventh Cavalry was my outfit.

I was there.

I asked you...

you calling me a liar?

Well, uh...

Well, maybe I got a little mixed up myself.

Yeah. Yeah.

Maybe you did, you young whippersnapper.

And let that be a lesson to you.

All right, everybody to the bar!

Drinks are on old Charlie!

You have another one, too, Hoss, huh?

No, thank you, Charlie.

I imagine me and you better be heading for home.

Miss Annie's gonna skin us alive.

Mr. Conners, would you mind if I sat down a minute?

Buddy, we was just fixin' to leave.

Sit down, sit down. We got lots of time.

Not Mr. Conners. Folks call me Charlie.

Well, I was just listening to your stories, and...

well, you must be a real rich man

with all them deals you got going, huh?

I do all right. Lord's been good to me.

What's your name, sonny? Barker, sir. Billy Barker.

Where you from, Billy?

Uh... oh, all over.

I'm just fixin' to go down to Arizona now.

Mm-hmm. So you're a little strapped, eh?

Oh, no, no, sir. I... I ain't looking for no handouts.

I'm just looking for a job,

and I thought you might need a little help somewhere.

Well... well, you come around the barn tomorrow morning.

We'll see what we can do.

Yes, sir. I'll do that, sir.

Bruno...

Uh... I seem to have run off without my cash.

I got it, Charlie. No, no, no, this is my party.

Put that on my bill, Bruno.

Thank you, Charlie.

Thanks, Hoss.

See you tomorrow, boys!

Hoss, you, uh, you go on in.

I'm going down to the barn for a while.

Charlie, Miss Annie's waiting supper for us.

Yeah, I know, but I got to get at that paperwork.

There's a lot of paperwork connected with setting up

a big deal, you know. Yeah. Charlie.

If I was you, Charlie, I'd...

I'd give that stirrup thing a whole bunch of thought

before I invest any money in it.

Well, don't you worry, Hoss.

I'll get that hundred back and a hundred times over.

Tell Annie I'll be along after while.

Yeah. I'll tell her, Charlie.

Come in.

Hi, Miss Annie. Hello, Hoss.

Supper's ready. Isn't Charlie with you?

No, ma'am, I... I don't reckon Mr. Charlie's very hungry.

He's down there working on that stirrup thing.

Here, let me get that. Let me get it. Oh, thanks.

I got it. Another one of them,

and my arms was ready to drop off.

You ain't got you a kitchen pump yet, huh?

Charlie's gonna do that for me one of these days.

Sure he is.

What does that mean?

Well, I mean...

I know Charlie, Miss Annie. I...

Do you?

Well, I mean...

I mean, we're friends, you know, like...

What do you know about him?

Know that he's a...

a nice old man that likes to buy drinks for everybody

and tell stories...

and go around pretending that he's something that he's not.

Is that right?

Yes'm.

What story did he tell in the saloon?

Oh, it... wasn't important, Miss Annie.

Just... he told the story

about the Cheyenne and the beef.

It wasn't nothing. You know.

Well, why don't I just tell you what really happened.

There was Indians, all right.

There was Cheyennes. There was a whole tribe.

And Black Kettle was their chief.

And there was a beef.

That cow was all that we had between us and starvation.

I'll never forget it.

It was when our first baby died of the fever.

And I had it, I was down with it,

and Charlie had it.

And that's when these people came along.

Oh, they were pathetic.

They were the most forlorn,

starved-Iookin' bunch of Cheyenne.

Their babies was just crying from hunger.

And Charlie come into me where I was laying sick,

and he said...

"I'm sorry, Annie...

but they needed it worse than we do."

He had given them...

our milk cow.

There's all kinds of heroes in this world, Hoss.

All kinds.

You understand?

Yes'm, I do.

Charlie.

Do you know that he traded a sound horse

for a broken-down old ox yoke

because that farmer needed a horse

to plow his ground, or he'd have starved?

We didn't need an ox yoke.

We didn't even have an ox.

And this decoration, this broken-down coffee grinder--

He gave Mel Fletcher ten dollars for this

because Mel had sickness in his family.

I tell you, this house is just filled with junk.

These are Charlie's medals.

He doesn't think they're worth anything,

but I do.

Hoss, why don't you go and fetch Charlie

and tell him supper's ready?

Yes'm. Be right back, now.

Who is it?

Oh, uh, me, sir. Billy Barker.

Oh. I'll be with you in just a minute here.

Got something to finish first.

Uh, yeah, well, I'm sort of in a hurry.

Um, your-your friend, the big fella--

Is he around here somewhere, is he?

Hoss? Oh, he's over at my house.

If I know Hoss, he's still eating.

But I didn't expect to see you till tomorrow morning.

Then I suppose a fella's got to have someplace to sleep, huh?

You hungry?

You bet your sweet life I am, old man.

But I ain't gonna be much longer, am I?

I mean, it just doesn't seem right to me

for an old man like you to have all that money, and...

and I ain't got none at all.

Wh-What are you talking about? What money?

Well, I heard you tell your friend

that you got some money hid around here somewhere,

and I want it.

I ain't got no money hid.

Look, I heard you tell your friend

that you got a hundred dollars.

Now, you gonna tell me where it is,

and you're gonna tell me right now.

Please, that's all I got left.

That's all my wife and me's got left in this world, son.

Now, you tell me where you got that money hid,

or the next time you open your mouth,

you're gonna be chewing on this.

I-I'll get it for you.

Charlie.

I'll kill you.

Charlie.

You all right?

The boy's dead.

Howdy, Hoss.

Hi, Roy.

Glad I found you at home.

I'm going over to Carson City,

and I brought that deposition statement of yours by to sign.

All right.

You take a good look at it, and if it's all right,

you can sign it right there on the bottom.

Yeah, I'm sure it's fine, Roy. You got a pencil?

Yeah. Let me use you for a desk here.

All righty.

I knew I seen a wanted poster on that Billy Barker somewheres.

Yeah?

Look at this.

He's wanted up in Millers Falls for stealing a horse.

Ain't much of a reward, but you may as well put in for it.

I'll tell you what, Roy.

Why don't you... why don't you just give it to old Charlie?

I got an idea he and... he and Miss Annie could use it.

Well, that's up to you if that's the way you want it.

Yeah, let's do it that way.

You, uh, planning on holding an inquest?

No, I think the facts speak for themselves, Hoss.

You might drop by the office, though,

say the day after tomorrow, in case the coroner wants

to ask you any questions or anything, huh?

Be happy to. R-Roy? Yeah?

About that reward-- let's just keep that

a little secret between you and me, all right?

That will do. Good-bye, boy.

Adios.

Well, I sure do thank you for coming by, Hoss. Yeah.

I'll tell you folks,

you'd never believe it if I was to tell you.

But I will tell you this.

A lesser man than old Charlie'd never been able

to face up to him.

I give up trying

to get him off that soapbox, 'cause to hear him tell it,

he's Davy Crockett, Daniel Boone

and Wild Bill Hickok all rolled into one.

Yeah.

Well, but he's harmless, Roy.

I reckon if it takes no more than that to make a man happy,

the least me and you can do is go along with it, huh?

You're right about that.

See you, Roy. Yeah.

He had that cold killer gleam in his eye.

Well, he has his pistol in his hand when he comes in,

and he threatened me with it, and I dared him to shoot.

I said, "You pull that trigger,

"and you'll have this whole town down on you

in the flicker of an eyelash."

Well, he paused there for a minute while

he tried to stare me down.

Finally had to avert his gaze, and in that second,

I started to make my play.

But I give him credit. He was quick.

"I don't need no gun for you, old man," he says.

"I'll just cut your gizzard out."

Then he makes a lunge for me,

and I sidestepped and let him go on by.

How'd-how'd he do that, old man? I don't know.

Well, was he all crouched down at you, or did he...?

It all happened so fast, I couldn't tell.

Pretty quick, was he?

Why, he was faster than greased lightning.

What kind of a knife did he use?

Well, it was a wicked-looking thing. Spanish.

Like that?

Who are you boys?

We're Billy Barker's brothers, old man.

What-what do you want?

What do you suppose we'd want, old-timer?

Just thought maybe we'd even up the score a little bit

until we got a look at you and heard you talk.

Now I don't know as we're big enough.

Real ferocious-looking, ain't he?

You get out of here. Leave him alone!

Go on. Get out of here.

Yeah, we got us a regular old pair

of mountain lions here, don't we?

I think you two boys better move on.

Oh, well, I guess we better move on, then, brother.

Yeah.

You're standing in our way there.

I ain't intending on moving.

Now, I asked you peaceful-like.

Now, beat it.

These boys giving you trouble, Hoss?

No, no. No... no trouble, Sheriff.

These fellas were just leaving, wasn't you, fellas?

Oh, yes, yes. There's no trouble, Sheriff.

Come on, George.

Uh, we'll see you around, old-timer.

It's a good thing you showed up, Sheriff.

I was starting to get mad.

Yeah. Say, Hoss, if them boys do give you any trouble,

you let me know, now, you hear?

Yeah.

Ah, they ain't gonna give nobody no trouble.

They're just a lot of talk.

Hess and I could have handled them with one hand.

I don't doubt that, Charlie.

By the way, there is $100 reward money coming to you.

That boy Billy was wanted.

Well, by jingo.

A hundred dollars.

Uh, I... I figured that boy

for a hard case the first time I ever seen him.

Wait till the boys hear about this down at the saloon, huh?

Yeah, yeah. Charlie, you got a minute?

I'd like to talk to you. Sure. Come on in.

I want to tell you something.

Things are sure looking up.

They never been better.

Do you know how much money we've taken in so far?

Let me show you. Charlie?

Huh?

Charlie, you know the truth is gonna out, Charlie.

You got to know that.

What do you mean, the truth?

Well...

Charlie, what I mean is, you can't just go on

telling people that you killed Billy Barker.

I mean, when-when he died by accident.

That-that's the plain truth.

Accident?

Why, he come at me with that knife.

He come at me all over the place!

Charlie...

He thought he had me scared,

but he found out different.

Come right down to it, he wasn't so tough as he might have been.

I've handled his kind before.

They used to laugh at old Charlie. They did!

But now they got to listen when he talks.

Charlie...

Yeah, Hoss, I... I, uh...

I got something out back I want to do.

I wonder if you'd kind of look after things here

for a little while, huh?

Where's Charlie? Hi, Miss Annie.

Why, he... he's out in the corral. Why?

Good. I need to talk to you.

I've been talking to Roy about them Barkers.

Yeah?

They killed a man over in Millers Falls last year.

He insulted their sister, they said,

and then they provoked him into a fight and shot him dead.

Nobody did anything about it. Self-defense.

Miss Annie, I guarantee you they...

they ain't gonna hurt Charlie.

Oh, no?

No, see,

Charlie didn't have nothing to do with killing Billy Barker.

Well, I know he didn't.

You know?

Oh, you...

Oh, you forget.

I've been married to Charlie for 30 years.

Yeah.

Then you know what he's got to do, don't you?

You really want him to stand up in front of this whole town

and tell them that he's a liar and a fake?

Well, Miss Annie, dad-burnit, I...

I know it ain't gonna be easy, but...

there ain't no other way around it.

Well, that would just kill him, that's all.

I don't mean the outside kind of killing

that would put him in his grave.

I mean he would shrivel up inside,

and that's the worst kind of death.

That's the death of the soul.

Hoss...

there is another way.

I got a little money put by I've been saving,

and I don't think he knows about it.

It ain't much, but I think it's enough.

I want you to tell Charlie

that you need him to go away on business for the Ponderosa.

Maybe Montana. He'd like that.

Something real important

that would keep him for several weeks.

You think you could do that, Hoss?

Oh, I... I reckon I could come up with some kind of a...

But would he do it?

Well, I-I could try to persuade him.

When do you want me to talk to him?

Well, I-I...

I don't know, but I could let you know.

Yeah.

Look...

Miss Annie...

don't you worry about nothin'.

Charlie's gonna be all right.

Hoss, you're...

you're a real good friend. Aw...

♪♪

Hello, Hoss. Like a beer?

Hi, Bruno. No, thanks.

You seen the Barker boys? They been around?

They're in the back room.

Thanks. They been, uh...

hitting the bottle kind of heavy.

You take care. Yeah. Thanks, Bruno.

Well, we got company.

Sure we do.

Come right in. Don't be bashful, Cartwright.

Here, have yourself a drink.

No, thanks. I want to... I want to talk to you.

Now, we sort of figured on that.

You sober enough to listen to me and...

remember what I'm gonna tell you?

I got a mind like a bear trap, friend.

Once it takes a grip, it holds on.

Well...

I'm sorry about your brother.

I got brothers of my own.

But you got this thing all wrong.

You see...

Billy was trying to rob the livery stable,

and there was a fight, and...

he fell on his own knife.

Looks like you're gonna owe me.

Now, just hold on. He's not finished yet.

Are you finished?

No, I ain't.

You see... your brother had knocked old Charlie out.

He was unconscious, cold.

He didn't even see the fight, didn't know nothin' about it.

And I don't want you hurtin' him.

Anybody say anything

about hurting that old man, brother?

You hear anything like that?

No, I didn't hear anything like that.

Maybe that old man might have to sweat a little bit, but...

Now, look here...

like I told you, old Charlie didn't know nothin' about it,

and I want you to leave him alone.

Oh, come on, you ain't gonna say you did it.

You ain't gonna say that.

That's right.

Your brother's fight was with me.

Well, pay me up, brother.

I just won me a bet.

George here said somebody'd come along

and try to take the old man's place.

Now, hold on a minute... All right, then,

quit all the talk.

Now, our fight's with the old man.

And you'd do well to keep that in your head.

Well... where did you get that?

Well, that Hoke family... come in last night

and didn't have any money for feed, so I...

So they gave you the cradle.

Their little girl's outgrown it,

so I figured maybe the Stephens could use it for their new one.

You mind?

No.

I didn't think you did.

Now, what was that for?

Oh... nothing...

in particular.

Charlie, I just had a long talk with Hoss.

Oh? What about?

Well...

it seems that the Ponderosa has got something big

doing up in Montana,

only they haven't got anybody to handle it for them.

0h?

Yeah.

He was wondering if...

if you'd be interested in taking care of it for them.

It's a big deal, Charlie, big deal.

Big deal?

Well, I wonder why he didn't mention it...

I see.

And how long is this job supposed to take?

Long enough for the Barkers to get tired of hanging around?

Charlie, be reasonable.

Annie, I told you not to worry.

Now, I'll take care of things.

Charlie, I know you're not afraid of anything,

but Roy Coffee is an old friend...

The answer is still no, Annie.

I'm not gonna run to the sheriff

because of a couple of saddle bums.

What would the people of this town

think if I... Charlie.

Charlie. Miss Annie.

Hoss.

Charlie, I was, uh, just gonna go over and get a beer.

Would you care to join me?

I think that's a great idea.

Now, you get them other ideas out of your head, Annie.

I'll be right back.

Hi, boys!

Things are looking up! Old Charlie's here!

Howdy, Hank. Howdy, Charlie.

Good day to you, Sam. How about a beer? Why not?

You're looking pert today, Charlie.

Well, it's a great day, and that's a fact.

You might as well draw us three tall ones there, Bruno.

Sam, you know, that reminds me, did I ever tell you about the...

Well, how's the missus, Hank?

Fine, Charlie, fine.

Well, I believe we need another bottle.

Well... better days, Hoss. Yeah.

Say, now...

I ever tell you about that time down in Natchez

when I run into old man Reynerson...

Yeah, yeah, Charlie, you-you told me about that.

Oh, yeah, well...

I guess maybe I did.

I'll tell you one I'd like for you to tell me again, Charlie.

Tell me about that fight you had with Billy Barker.

Well, you was there, you seen it.

What... what do you mean, tell you about it?

I mean... tell it to me all the way through.

I want to hear it all.

Well, there's...

no use boring you with that again.

It just happened, that's all.

I think you told me that he came at you

with a gun first, right?

Well, yeah, a... pistol.

And you took it away from him, right?

Well, uh, no, I didn't.

He... he dropped it, and I says to him,

"There's no use coming to me with that thing.

You better..." So he... dropped it.

How come the sheriff never did find it there on the floor?

Come on, now, Hoss.

How do I know what happened to the pistol?

Maybe he threw it outside.

Maybe somebody come along the next day and stole it.

How do I know what happened to it?

Charlie...

there wasn't no pistol, was there?

As far as you know, there wasn't even no fight.

When I came out there, you was laying there on the floor

where you'd been knocked, wasn't you?

Well, no, I... Charlie.

I fought Billy Barker. I fought Billy Barker.

And he fell on his knife and he died.

And you was Ia yin' there on the floor all that time

out colder than a wedge, wasn't you, Charlie?

Well, you... you trying to tell me I'm a liar?

I thought he was my friend.

They give me the reward. Me, Charlie Conners!

And Why'd they give it to me?

They give it to me because I deserved it, that's why.

He tried to rob me,

and I stood up to him like a man, that's what happened.

That's what happened, Sam.

That's the gospel truth.

I never run from nobody.

I took Billy Barker!

Why else would they give me the reward?

You tell 'em, Hoss, why else?

Because I told the sheriff to give it to you,

'cause you needed the money.

Nee... Needed the...

the money?

Charlie Conners never needed no money.

I've had deals all around here.

You... you boys all know.

You all know.

♪♪

Bruno...

you got a little rat poison for this beer?

Hoss... nobody's gonna blame you for doing the right thing.

Well, it looks like you're gonna have to give me back

my five dollars.

Yeah, sure looks that way, don't it?

Now, me...

I'm real pleased the way things turned out.

Scaring an old man ain't much sport, Cartwright.

Now, you, I bet you don't scare.

I've told you boys once, and I'll tell you again.

Your brother's death was accidental.

Sure. We'll be seeing you around, Cartwright.

♪♪

Miss Annie, I...

Why didn't you just shoot him and be done with it?

I told you to wait, but you had to go ahead and do it your way.

I'm sorry. I...

Sorry?

You know that this whole town is laughing at him?

How do you think he's gonna face 'em?

Didn't you stop to think what you were doing to him?

Think. Miss Annie, I thought about it all afternoon.

Ma'am, it-it was his pride or his life.

Charlie's pride is his life.

Yeah.

Well, maybe you and me can help him

get back some of that pride, but if he was dead,

there ain't much we can do for him, is there?

Where is he, anyhow?

Nobody's seen him since he left the saloon.

Well, come on. I'll help you find him.

Don't need any more help from you.

You done enough already.

Your horse is in the stable.

You can pick him up whenever you're ready.

♪♪

It's like a tomb in here.

Where have you been all day, Charlie?

I've... been looking all over for you.

Been here twice. Been all around town.

I wanted to be alone.

I suppose you already heard what happened.

I heard.

How that Hoss could turn on me.

How he could tell the lies he told about me.

Lie?

You say he lied?

Well, I've had enough for today.

I don't want to talk about it.

Maybe it's about time we began to tell the truth around here.

Hoss didn't lie. He told the truth.

What are you... Admit it!

You didn't kill Billy Barker, did you?

What are you trying to do to me?

I'm trying to tell you

that you don't need another man's courage.

You have enough of your own.

Lord knows you've lived through enough

to kill a hundred gunfighters.

And you've come through it good and sweet and generous.

You don't need these big stories and these big deals!

Just a Iyin' fool, huh?

No.

Just a pretender.

A man who...

doesn't think enough of himself to just be himself.

Charlie,

I love you

for what you are.

Don't you know that?

I don't see how you can love me.

We-we never had nothin'.

I always wanted to get you a big house, servants.

Oh.

I---

I... never wanted no big house.

I wouldn't know what to do with servants.

What I have is enough.

All the work you have to do...

But, Charlie,

we work together.

We have each other.

Sure.

I guess there's people who have fine, easy lives.

And then there's folks like us that...

do well just to hang on.

But we've hung on together, Charlie.

And I don't think we missed a thing.

Well, uh,

I got to go out and fix something in the corral.

Good afternoon.

What do you fellas want here?

What do you want?

I'm gonna get the sheriff.

Just behave yourself, old woman,

and we might not have to hurt him.

Say, that's his horse, ain't it?

He ain't gonna walk home. He's got to come back here.

And we'll just be right here waitin' for him.

Yeah, well, keep 'em over here and keep 'em quiet.

I'm gonna have a look around.

Yeah, he'll be around. We got nothin' but time.

What are you gonna do to him?

That should be pretty clear, shouldn't it?

Now, why don't you keep your mouth shut. Stop.

We got you and your old woman sewed up tight.

It's either gonna be Cartwright or you two.

So when he comes in here, don't you make a sound.

You hear that?

Y-Yes-yes, sir.

Come right in, big man.

Just take it off and toss it right over there.

Way over there.

When I get through with you, big fella,

you're gonna be about three feet tall

'cause I'm gonna cut you right in half.

Why don't you let them go.

They-they ain't done nothin' to you.

No, no. No, sir.

They're gonna end up on this knife

just like our brother Billy did.

Besides, you oughtn't to worry about them too much.

You ought to worry about yourself

'cause you ain't got long to do that.

I'm gonna carve you like a big fat hog, Cartwright.

They'll kill him, Charlie.

No, they won't!

Unhook me, you... you little rattlesnake!

Miss Annie, you all right?

Yes. How's Charlie?

Never felt better in my life.

Well, we sure done it, didn't we?

Yeah, we sure did, Charlie.

I reckon we can kind of turn it over to the sheriff now, though.

Oh, Charlie, you were wonderful.

Well, if that's what being a hero is,

I'm never gonna tell another story as long as I live,

so help me.

So, there they was.

Roy can tell you.

Two of the coldest killers ever to come west of the Cimarron.

Out to carve me up with their knives because I disposed

of their mad-dog brother in hand-to-hand combat.

I'm not a killer at heart.

Anybody here can tell you that.

But when a man is looking at death,

he has to rely on his animal instincts.

I wasn't so worried about me.

It was my friend, Hoss Cartwright.

Oh. So it was Hoss you was a-worryin' about, huh?

I guess Hoss was scared to death.

Well, it's no laughing matter, my cynical young friend.

Sure, Hoss is a scrapping young fella.

But he's muscle-bound.

He was outnumbered.

Why, them Barkers had pistols and knives

sticking out of every pocket they owned.

So what did you do, Charlie?

What did I do?

I gave 'em the old Comanche war cry

and I jumped right down amongst them.

No weapon, bare hands.

For a couple of minutes there,

these old fists were busier than a windmill in a hurricane.

Say, what was Hoss doing all this time anyway?

Why, I told you, he was in danger.

Charlie.

Charlie, I was just fixin' to take off,

so I want to say so long and...

I wanted to thank you for saving my life, Charlie.

You're a courageous and brave man

and a good friend.

Well.

There's the mark of a great man.

Hoss Cartwright.

Not afraid to step up and say thank you.

I guess Charlie ain't never gonna change.

And I wouldn't want him to.

I don't blame you.

Sort of like it myself.

Good-bye.

...finest humans I ever knew.

And red men.

Yeah, that brings to mind a little altercation

I had with Amos Many Wounds.

Charlie, I never heard that one.

Tell 'em about it.

I'm going to.

You remember him, Roy.

Sure, Charlie. Tell 'em about it.

Amos Many Wounds.

Big chief of the Kickapoo.

You know, them... them anthropologist fellas

said he was the finest specimen of aboriginal manhood

ever to come out of the Plains.

Well, Amos and I was joshin' around one day,

and he challenged me to a wrasslin' match.

Of course he couldn't know that I'd been tutored

by the first terrible Turk ever to step into the ring.

You all heard of him-- Abdul Abulbul.

Well, we didn't have no ring or nothin'.

We just went out there in the woods...

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