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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,667 --> 00:00:04,333 Sometimes my highly tuned Spider-Sense tells me there's trouble. 2 00:00:04,375 --> 00:00:06,333 And sometimes I just hear a really loud alarm. 3 00:00:09,083 --> 00:00:11,542 Don't worry, folks. Gonna check on that pesky noise 4 00:00:11,542 --> 00:00:13,875 so you can get back to your fancy ribbon-cutting ceremony. 5 00:00:15,875 --> 00:00:19,500 Whoa. That's a seriously big hole. Okay, Spidey. 6 00:00:21,125 --> 00:00:23,875 Looks like you're about to take on a whole army of... 7 00:00:23,959 --> 00:00:26,000 one bald guy? 8 00:00:27,709 --> 00:00:32,333 - You do all this damage yourself, shiny? - Yeah. Pretty impressive, huh? 9 00:00:33,208 --> 00:00:34,583 It doesn't add up. 10 00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:37,750 You're a big guy, but that wall looks like it was hit by a wrecking ball. 11 00:00:37,834 --> 00:00:41,667 Whoa! And there it is. Man, can I call them or what? 12 00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:46,750 - I should have my own detective show. - People call me the Absorbing Man. 13 00:00:46,834 --> 00:00:51,792 - Because you have paper towel powers? - Because I can absorb anything. 14 00:00:55,125 --> 00:00:57,166 Right. Just like paper towels can. 15 00:00:57,250 --> 00:00:59,041 You sure you don't wanna go with "Paper Towel Man"? 16 00:01:00,208 --> 00:01:02,458 I promise you no other bad guys are using that name. 17 00:01:08,625 --> 00:01:12,250 Insult me all you want. I have thick skin. 18 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,333 Or, better yet... 19 00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:17,417 sharp skin. 20 00:01:17,417 --> 00:01:18,875 Uh-oh. 21 00:01:27,208 --> 00:01:30,000 Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard face! 22 00:01:46,375 --> 00:01:48,625 So, you become what you touch, huh? 23 00:02:00,208 --> 00:02:02,417 Let's see what happens when you can't touch anything. 24 00:02:02,417 --> 00:02:07,208 Hmm. Now, what do we have here? Your vacation photos? 25 00:02:07,208 --> 00:02:09,542 Hey, gang! Screwball here! 26 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,208 Screwball? With another fun fact. 27 00:02:12,208 --> 00:02:16,375 It's hard for a CEO to cut the ribbon on his polluting power plant headquarters 28 00:02:16,375 --> 00:02:18,625 if he doesn't have the ribbon! 29 00:02:18,709 --> 00:02:21,333 Let this be a lesson to all you corporate shills. 30 00:02:21,417 --> 00:02:23,208 You never know when you'll be surprised by... 31 00:02:25,125 --> 00:02:26,875 Spider-Man? 32 00:02:26,959 --> 00:02:29,083 Mmm. Metal. No. 33 00:02:33,458 --> 00:02:35,208 You might want to look both ways next time. 34 00:02:35,208 --> 00:02:38,291 And you might not wanna stand there this time. 35 00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:40,166 Sorry, Spider-Man. 36 00:02:40,250 --> 00:02:42,542 I expected those business goons to chase me. 37 00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:48,625 Great. Smile, Spider-Man. 38 00:02:48,709 --> 00:02:50,166 You've been screwballed. 39 00:02:51,834 --> 00:02:55,250 Pete, you have got to watch the new Screwball video. 40 00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:57,834 Not right now, Harry. I'm working on something. 41 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,792 Pretty heavy security for vacation photos. 42 00:03:04,792 --> 00:03:07,917 Check it out. She totally messes with Spider-Man. 43 00:03:07,917 --> 00:03:10,417 - It's hilarious. - Is it? 44 00:03:10,417 --> 00:03:12,083 Because thanks to this Screwball character, 45 00:03:12,083 --> 00:03:13,500 Spider-Man lost a bad guy. 46 00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:17,500 Oh, please! Spider-Man needs to be taken down a peg. 47 00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:21,792 - This Screwball's my new hero. - She's not a hero, Harry. 48 00:03:21,792 --> 00:03:24,041 Heroes have power and responsibility. 49 00:03:24,125 --> 00:03:25,417 Screwball doesn't have either. 50 00:03:25,417 --> 00:03:27,291 Oh, she has power, all right. 51 00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:29,667 The power of the Internet. 52 00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:31,333 This video's only been up a few hours, 53 00:03:31,417 --> 00:03:34,291 and it already has hundreds of thousands of views. 54 00:03:34,375 --> 00:03:36,083 Views aren't power. 55 00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:38,458 They're not? Look around. 56 00:03:38,542 --> 00:03:40,500 You've been Screwballed! - Must be a slow news day. 57 00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:41,625 Come on! 58 00:03:41,709 --> 00:03:43,000 What's so funny? 59 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,083 Oh, hey, Liz. 60 00:03:44,083 --> 00:03:46,667 Just watching Screwball's latest post. Have you seen it? 61 00:03:46,667 --> 00:03:50,166 Uh, no, not yet. What are people saying? Do they like it? 62 00:03:50,583 --> 00:03:53,959 Oh, yeah. It's by far her best. It has Spider-Man in it. 63 00:03:54,041 --> 00:03:56,166 And that's the only reason people care about it. 64 00:03:56,250 --> 00:04:00,041 People care because Screwball takes on corruption with cool pranks, 65 00:04:00,125 --> 00:04:02,583 not because it has Spider-Man in it. Really? 66 00:04:02,667 --> 00:04:07,417 Then why does this video have four times as many views as all her others? 67 00:04:07,417 --> 00:04:08,917 It does? 68 00:04:09,792 --> 00:04:13,417 Well, if involving Spider-Man brings more attention to my causes... 69 00:04:14,625 --> 00:04:17,625 then Spider-Man is exactly what my viewers are gonna get. 70 00:04:19,709 --> 00:04:23,875 Hey, guys. Welcome to Screwball's brand-new Spidey segment. 71 00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:27,166 At least once a week, I'll be making a video about Spider-Man. 72 00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:28,375 So sound off in the comments, 73 00:04:28,375 --> 00:04:30,834 and let me know what you think of the old webhead. 74 00:04:30,834 --> 00:04:32,959 You've been Screwballed! 75 00:04:33,041 --> 00:04:34,750 Agh! 76 00:04:34,834 --> 00:04:37,125 - Where is it? - Where's what? 77 00:04:37,125 --> 00:04:39,875 I told you to grab everything in the safe. 78 00:04:39,959 --> 00:04:41,792 And I did. 79 00:04:43,041 --> 00:04:45,875 I don't care about diamonds. I wanted the flash drive! 80 00:04:45,959 --> 00:04:49,041 Oh, that. Spider-Man got it. 81 00:04:49,750 --> 00:04:51,458 You imbecile. 82 00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:53,333 That store is a front for The Owl, 83 00:04:53,417 --> 00:04:57,250 who was blackmailing me with the information on that drive! 84 00:04:57,250 --> 00:04:59,834 Why didn't you tell me all this? 85 00:04:59,834 --> 00:05:04,333 Because I wanted to keep it simple enough to absorb through your thick skull! 86 00:05:04,417 --> 00:05:08,041 The only reason I hired you was so he wouldn't trace it to me! 87 00:05:08,125 --> 00:05:09,959 And stop eating my chips! 88 00:05:10,041 --> 00:05:11,458 I'm not! 89 00:05:13,333 --> 00:05:15,250 Aah! Busted. 90 00:05:15,959 --> 00:05:19,166 That drive has enough dirt on it to put me away forever, 91 00:05:19,250 --> 00:05:21,792 and now Spider-Man has it. 92 00:05:21,792 --> 00:05:22,875 You get it back, 93 00:05:22,959 --> 00:05:25,750 and keep my name out of it, or so help me-- 94 00:05:28,250 --> 00:05:30,625 there won't be enough of you left to scoop up salsa! 95 00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:34,834 That's not funny. 96 00:05:35,959 --> 00:05:38,625 Spider-Man should leave the crime-fighting to the police... 97 00:05:39,959 --> 00:05:42,291 but keep being part of those hilarious videos. 98 00:05:43,291 --> 00:05:46,667 Leave Spider-Man alone. Spider-Man rules! 99 00:05:46,667 --> 00:05:49,375 Which is also the name of my Spider-Man fan page. 100 00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:52,250 Spider-Man's a menace. 101 00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:53,792 I had to look that word up. 102 00:05:53,792 --> 00:05:56,125 But once I did, I agreed. 103 00:05:56,125 --> 00:05:57,625 A menace! 104 00:05:57,709 --> 00:05:59,667 - What are you doing? - Gotta go. 105 00:06:01,333 --> 00:06:02,750 - Hey, Liz. - Hey, Randy. 106 00:06:02,834 --> 00:06:06,000 Can we move our study group to-- Oh, come on! 107 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,917 Don't tell me you're a Screwball fan too. 108 00:06:08,458 --> 00:06:10,583 Why wouldn't I be? She's great. 109 00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:13,291 She's everything that's wrong with the Internet. 110 00:06:13,375 --> 00:06:16,917 If she really wanted to make a difference, she'd do something legitimate. 111 00:06:16,917 --> 00:06:19,375 Like your boring blog? Exactly! 112 00:06:19,375 --> 00:06:20,417 I mean... 113 00:06:21,125 --> 00:06:22,125 It's not boring. 114 00:06:22,834 --> 00:06:25,375 In fact, you know that power company she pranked last week? 115 00:06:25,375 --> 00:06:28,166 It was one of a dozen businesses bought up on the same day 116 00:06:28,250 --> 00:06:30,041 by the same anonymous corporation. 117 00:06:30,125 --> 00:06:33,417 I haven't cracked who it is yet, but my gut tells me the Mob's behind it. 118 00:06:33,417 --> 00:06:36,208 They have-- You know what? I'll just send you my story. 119 00:06:36,333 --> 00:06:38,750 - It's only 35 pages. - I'm good, thanks. 120 00:06:38,834 --> 00:06:41,166 I just think you're jealous because Screwball gets a ton of hits, 121 00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:43,667 and your blog only has three. 122 00:06:43,667 --> 00:06:47,208 So what? Screwball's numbers are down too. 123 00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:50,041 Without new footage of Spider-Man, she's nothing. 124 00:06:50,792 --> 00:06:54,041 Hey, finding Spider-Man is hard. Probably. 125 00:06:54,125 --> 00:06:55,208 Oh, I have to go. 126 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,000 My dad's speaking at the groundbreaking ceremony 127 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,875 for the city's new media building today. 128 00:06:59,959 --> 00:07:01,917 Now, he's a real journalist. 129 00:07:01,917 --> 00:07:05,208 In fact, every major news outlet's gonna be there, 130 00:07:05,208 --> 00:07:09,291 including my blog, thank you very much. 131 00:07:09,375 --> 00:07:11,625 Every major outlet, huh? 132 00:07:24,667 --> 00:07:26,500 Thanks for coming out to support my dad, guys. 133 00:07:26,917 --> 00:07:28,792 I didn't even know you knew about this event. 134 00:07:28,792 --> 00:07:31,750 Oh, this? Of course we did. 135 00:07:31,834 --> 00:07:33,291 Yeah and it has nothing to do with the fact 136 00:07:33,375 --> 00:07:35,000 that we were across the street having lunch. 137 00:07:35,667 --> 00:07:37,208 Don't let him fool you, Randy. 138 00:07:37,208 --> 00:07:38,583 It's just nice to do something 139 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,959 that doesn't involve our competing schools for a change. 140 00:07:41,583 --> 00:07:45,458 Well, technically, my dad is lending them an Oscorp worker bot. 141 00:07:47,041 --> 00:07:48,125 I should've known. 142 00:07:48,542 --> 00:07:51,959 Well, maybe you can use a Horizon High pen to write the story. 143 00:07:53,208 --> 00:07:54,625 Thank you, everyone. 144 00:07:55,333 --> 00:07:58,041 Before we break ground, I'd like to say a few words, 145 00:07:58,125 --> 00:08:00,583 and though my editor won't believe me, 146 00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:02,333 I promise it'll only be a few. 147 00:08:03,417 --> 00:08:07,083 People always ask if I have any advice for the next generation. 148 00:08:07,083 --> 00:08:09,458 If I do, it's this: 149 00:08:09,542 --> 00:08:11,875 value your story. 150 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:15,333 Nowadays, anyone anywhere can have an audience of millions. 151 00:08:16,458 --> 00:08:20,625 But being seen by those people isn't the same as reaching them. 152 00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:23,709 A real writer doesn't care about getting likes, 153 00:08:23,709 --> 00:08:25,667 they care about making a difference, 154 00:08:25,667 --> 00:08:28,875 whether it's for 100,000 people or just one. 155 00:08:30,083 --> 00:08:32,166 And now, let's put this big guy to work 156 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:34,458 and break some ground on this new building. 157 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,041 What's it doing? 158 00:08:40,417 --> 00:08:41,625 I'm okay, son. 159 00:08:43,917 --> 00:08:45,875 You've just been Screwballed! 160 00:08:47,166 --> 00:08:49,333 It's Screwball! - This is awful. 161 00:08:49,417 --> 00:08:51,166 She could've hurt my dad! 162 00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:54,000 Don't worry, Randy. Her pranks look worse than they are. 163 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,333 Right, Pete? 164 00:08:55,417 --> 00:08:57,375 Um... Pete? 165 00:08:58,500 --> 00:08:59,834 Typical Parker. 166 00:09:00,375 --> 00:09:04,542 You took over the worker bot? Not cool, Screwball. 167 00:09:04,542 --> 00:09:07,959 Are you kidding? I'm just getting started. 168 00:09:12,417 --> 00:09:14,125 Whoa! Whoa! Screwball! 169 00:09:14,125 --> 00:09:15,417 No! 170 00:09:18,375 --> 00:09:19,834 Hold on! 171 00:09:21,250 --> 00:09:23,000 Thanks for the save, Spider-Man. 172 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,083 What in-- A billboard? 173 00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:30,500 You're gonna answer for that one. 174 00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:32,000 A bungee cord? 175 00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:37,625 And cut! 176 00:09:37,709 --> 00:09:39,375 Nice work, Spidey. 177 00:09:39,375 --> 00:09:40,875 I was hoping for the banner plug, 178 00:09:40,959 --> 00:09:42,875 but the quick-drying cement was an added bonus. 179 00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,542 And what if someone out there needed my help 180 00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:48,333 while I was preoccupied here with you? 181 00:09:48,792 --> 00:09:52,083 Relax, Spidey. This city is full of heroes. 182 00:09:52,083 --> 00:09:55,166 I can't help it if my viewers wanna see us together. 183 00:09:57,500 --> 00:09:59,250 WOMAN 1: Me, me. Spider-man. WOMAN 2: Spidey! Over here! 184 00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:00,583 Give us a smile. Nice! 185 00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:02,166 SCREWBALL : You've been Screwballed! 186 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:11,583 Are you seriously still watching stupid Internet videos? 187 00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:15,000 You're supposed to be getting my drive back from Spider-Man! 188 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,542 I tried. 189 00:10:16,542 --> 00:10:19,583 I broke into another jewelry store to draw him out, 190 00:10:19,667 --> 00:10:22,583 but that Avenger Hawkeye showed up instead. 191 00:10:22,667 --> 00:10:27,125 I don't want excuses! I want you to find Spider-Man. 192 00:10:27,125 --> 00:10:28,375 Your little Internet friend here 193 00:10:28,375 --> 00:10:30,375 doesn't seem to have any trouble finding him. 194 00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:33,583 Maybe they're partners, like us. 195 00:10:34,041 --> 00:10:35,542 We are not partners. 196 00:10:35,542 --> 00:10:40,125 - Although, that's not a bad idea. - Really? 197 00:10:40,125 --> 00:10:44,625 - Because I can move my stuff in tomorrow. - I'm talking about the girl. 198 00:10:44,709 --> 00:10:48,875 We get the girl, we get Spider-Man. 199 00:10:49,542 --> 00:10:51,417 Uh... How do we find him? 200 00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:56,834 Look, there's always something. Always something they forget. 201 00:10:56,834 --> 00:11:00,166 "Midtown High School." There! 202 00:11:00,709 --> 00:11:02,166 Now get on it! 203 00:11:03,583 --> 00:11:05,709 You've just been Screwballed! 204 00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:10,250 Not a Screwball fan either, huh? 205 00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:12,500 - I thought I was the only one. - No way. 206 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:16,166 The Internet is the most powerful technology in human history, 207 00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:18,375 and we use it for prank videos. 208 00:11:18,375 --> 00:11:19,500 Such a waste. 209 00:11:20,792 --> 00:11:24,083 - Hey, is that a school project? - What? No. 210 00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:27,750 - I mean, yes. - An asymmetric encryption key? 211 00:11:28,542 --> 00:11:30,458 Mind if I take a look? 212 00:11:31,834 --> 00:11:33,208 Whoa. 213 00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:35,792 You don't see a lot of these. 214 00:11:35,792 --> 00:11:38,583 You know what this is? Can you crack it? 215 00:11:39,083 --> 00:11:42,667 Are you kidding? This kind of problem solving is my favorite. 216 00:11:42,667 --> 00:11:44,667 Here. I'll show you what you're missing. 217 00:11:46,125 --> 00:11:48,458 I think what I was missing was you. 218 00:11:55,417 --> 00:11:57,458 Aw. Flash, you're out. 219 00:11:57,542 --> 00:11:59,417 Bring me Screwball! 220 00:12:02,041 --> 00:12:03,458 Hey, get out of here! 221 00:12:03,542 --> 00:12:06,125 You're out! Get lost, freak! 222 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,000 Now! 223 00:12:12,959 --> 00:12:15,667 Hey! No one's going anywhere! 224 00:12:18,834 --> 00:12:22,166 Hey, one of you twerps knows where she is. 225 00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:23,917 So tell me. 226 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,250 Oh, no! 227 00:12:27,542 --> 00:12:29,458 Guess this isn't just about me anymore. 228 00:12:29,542 --> 00:12:32,000 But maybe I can do something from here. 229 00:12:33,959 --> 00:12:35,667 Spider-Man, this is Screwball. 230 00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:38,250 Got it! I broke the encryption. 231 00:12:38,250 --> 00:12:39,917 And we have 232 00:12:39,917 --> 00:12:44,667 a bunch of files with scrambled titles, all connected to... 233 00:12:44,667 --> 00:12:45,834 Hammerhead? 234 00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:48,750 Isn't he a gangster? 235 00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:50,125 He is. 236 00:12:50,125 --> 00:12:52,250 But what do those scrambled titles mean? 237 00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:55,417 I don't know, but there are a dozen of these files. 238 00:12:58,083 --> 00:13:01,083 Anya says we need to check out the new Screwball video. 239 00:13:01,083 --> 00:13:04,250 She knows I'm not a fan, so this should be interesting. 240 00:13:06,458 --> 00:13:08,458 Spider-Man, this is Screwball. 241 00:13:08,542 --> 00:13:10,583 I need you to come to Midtown High right away. 242 00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:12,000 I'm in trouble. 243 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,083 I hope Spider-Man is watching this. 244 00:13:14,083 --> 00:13:18,291 It's probably just another prank. That girl will do anything for attention. 245 00:13:19,291 --> 00:13:21,917 I'm getting impatient. 246 00:13:21,917 --> 00:13:25,500 Hi. Randy Robertson, freelance journalist. 247 00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:29,333 What do you want with Screwball exactly? 248 00:13:29,417 --> 00:13:30,959 Stop stalling! 249 00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:34,125 If Screwball doesn't show herself in 10 seconds, 250 00:13:34,125 --> 00:13:36,625 this guy's gonna be toast. 251 00:13:36,709 --> 00:13:38,291 Come on, Spidey. Where are you? Ten. 252 00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:40,667 - Nine. Eight. - Is it possible he's not coming? 253 00:13:40,667 --> 00:13:44,375 - Did I prank him one too many times? - Seven. Six. 254 00:13:45,542 --> 00:13:47,750 - Five. Four. - Okay. I don't need Spider-Man. 255 00:13:47,834 --> 00:13:48,959 - I'm Screwball. - Three. 256 00:13:49,041 --> 00:13:50,792 - I'm just as good as him, right? - Two. 257 00:13:50,792 --> 00:13:53,000 - Better, even. - One. 258 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,583 Let him go! 259 00:13:56,583 --> 00:13:58,834 You're about to be Screwballed! 260 00:14:04,542 --> 00:14:05,917 - Huh? - Did you really think 261 00:14:05,917 --> 00:14:08,083 you were a superhero? 262 00:14:08,083 --> 00:14:11,375 And did you really think you could pull off that tank top? 263 00:14:12,208 --> 00:14:14,834 Spider-Man! You came! 264 00:14:14,834 --> 00:14:17,208 I was worried you thought my video was a prank. 265 00:14:17,208 --> 00:14:19,709 To be honest, I was wondering if it might be. 266 00:14:19,709 --> 00:14:22,083 But that's the thing about being a hero. 267 00:14:22,083 --> 00:14:23,709 You don't get to wonder. 268 00:14:23,709 --> 00:14:28,041 Webs! I don't know why I didn't do this earlier. 269 00:14:31,667 --> 00:14:33,125 Smothered by webs? 270 00:14:33,125 --> 00:14:35,709 Is this irony? Feels like irony. 271 00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,834 Also feels like a good time to use my web dissolvent. 272 00:14:42,208 --> 00:14:45,166 - That wasn't nice! - Nice? 273 00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:46,750 Now you're worried about being nice? 274 00:14:54,667 --> 00:14:57,917 Just give me the flash drive, and I'll let them go! 275 00:14:58,750 --> 00:15:01,208 The flash drive? That's what this is about? 276 00:15:01,208 --> 00:15:04,417 I don't have it on me. Do you see pockets? 277 00:15:04,417 --> 00:15:06,208 Fine, then. 278 00:15:07,166 --> 00:15:10,500 Meet me at the new media building construction site. 279 00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:15,000 Be there in an hour, or you'll find a couple of concrete teens 280 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,959 waiting for you. 281 00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:20,375 Get to safety! 282 00:15:22,583 --> 00:15:25,709 Just a sec. This is gonna get so many likes. 283 00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:32,166 This is all my fault. 284 00:15:32,250 --> 00:15:33,917 Now, there's a news flash. 285 00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:38,375 But you did put your life on the line to save a total stranger. 286 00:15:38,375 --> 00:15:40,166 You're not a stranger, Randy. 287 00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:43,709 You're my friend. 288 00:15:44,375 --> 00:15:46,208 Liz? But why? 289 00:15:47,417 --> 00:15:48,667 I don't know. 290 00:15:48,667 --> 00:15:51,166 I used to feel so special. 291 00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:55,625 I was a straight-A student, the class president of Midtown High. 292 00:15:55,709 --> 00:15:58,792 But then came genius schools like Horizon High and Oz Academy, 293 00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:02,041 and those things didn't seem to be enough anymore. 294 00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:04,291 So I became Screwball. 295 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,125 Thought I could be a hero to the community. 296 00:16:07,125 --> 00:16:10,625 I guess I lost sight of that when I started focusing on Spider-Man. 297 00:16:10,709 --> 00:16:14,291 I felt powerful because I had the attention. 298 00:16:14,375 --> 00:16:16,417 But I guess it takes a different kind of power 299 00:16:16,417 --> 00:16:17,875 to be a real hero. 300 00:16:17,959 --> 00:16:21,333 Well, saving my life was no small thing. 301 00:16:21,417 --> 00:16:22,959 Thanks. 302 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,041 Get out! 303 00:16:34,959 --> 00:16:37,000 Dangling over a cement mixer? 304 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,041 Oh, that's the last time I let you watch the kids. 305 00:16:39,125 --> 00:16:42,625 Spider-Man, you made it. 306 00:16:42,709 --> 00:16:45,083 Hand over the drive, and nobody gets hurt. 307 00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:50,166 Sure. Should I give it to you, or directly to your boss, Hammerhead? 308 00:16:50,667 --> 00:16:53,166 Oh-ho, congratulations. 309 00:16:53,875 --> 00:16:56,750 You figured out the dumb brute's actually working for me. 310 00:16:56,834 --> 00:16:58,792 - You want a medal? - No. 311 00:16:58,792 --> 00:17:01,208 Although there's probably enough metal in your head 312 00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:03,417 to give me the gold, silver, and bronze. 313 00:17:03,417 --> 00:17:08,542 Just deliver the goods, and we'll let the kids go. 314 00:17:08,542 --> 00:17:10,208 Sure thing. 315 00:17:11,792 --> 00:17:13,250 Now let them go. 316 00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:16,542 Oh, that's exactly what I plan on doing. 317 00:17:16,542 --> 00:17:17,625 Drop them! 318 00:17:20,375 --> 00:17:22,625 I knew a thug like you couldn't be trusted. 319 00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:25,208 But I thought I'd give you a chance before I went to the police 320 00:17:25,208 --> 00:17:27,375 with the list of businesses you're using to launder money. 321 00:17:27,417 --> 00:17:29,417 What? Well, how did you-- 322 00:17:29,917 --> 00:17:34,583 - Easy. Just used the old noggin. - Extinguish that bug! 323 00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:40,542 Oops. 324 00:17:40,542 --> 00:17:45,208 Can't I have just one person that does what I need them to do? 325 00:17:45,208 --> 00:17:47,333 I'll take care of this myself. 326 00:17:54,750 --> 00:17:57,500 See how easily you're replaced, Absorbing Man? 327 00:17:57,500 --> 00:18:00,500 Clearly, your boss likes them big, bad, and easy to control. 328 00:18:02,834 --> 00:18:06,291 Then he's gonna love this new power I have. 329 00:18:06,375 --> 00:18:08,792 Sometimes I don't know why I open my mouth. 330 00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:15,250 Didn't know I could increase in size, did you? 331 00:18:15,250 --> 00:18:18,291 Hold still. I'll have us out of here in a second. 332 00:18:18,375 --> 00:18:22,500 You increased in size and strength, but sadly not in looks. 333 00:18:26,792 --> 00:18:28,250 No! 334 00:18:30,750 --> 00:18:33,291 Oh, no. I just got an idea. 335 00:18:33,375 --> 00:18:35,417 Yo, chrome dome! Over here! 336 00:18:42,750 --> 00:18:44,667 That's an impressive ability you have there. 337 00:18:44,667 --> 00:18:47,250 Not as impressive as absorbing knowledge, of course. 338 00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:52,792 I'd pick strength over smarts any day. 339 00:18:53,583 --> 00:18:55,709 I figured. Otherwise you would've realized 340 00:18:55,709 --> 00:18:58,333 that the metal you just absorbed was lithium. 341 00:18:58,834 --> 00:19:00,333 Yeah? So what? 342 00:19:00,834 --> 00:19:04,166 So, lithium doesn't react well with certain compounds. 343 00:19:04,250 --> 00:19:07,291 - Like your face? - No. 344 00:19:08,709 --> 00:19:10,083 Like water. 345 00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:22,792 - Is he gone? - Sadly, I doubt it. 346 00:19:22,792 --> 00:19:25,000 He'll probably pull himself together soon enough. 347 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,000 Still, that was amazing! 348 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,667 - You saved the day! - With your help. 349 00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:32,750 That drive didn't mean a thing until I remembered the story on your blog 350 00:19:32,834 --> 00:19:34,542 about the companies that were just bought up. 351 00:19:34,542 --> 00:19:35,750 You-- 352 00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:38,458 You read my blog? 353 00:19:38,542 --> 00:19:40,667 Spider-Man is one of my three hits! 354 00:19:42,375 --> 00:19:44,041 Spider-Sense. Whoa! 355 00:19:44,125 --> 00:19:46,709 I'm gonna crush you like the insect you are! 356 00:19:49,834 --> 00:19:52,333 What's wrong with this piece of junk? 357 00:19:52,417 --> 00:19:54,625 You've just been Screwballed! 358 00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:58,542 What? You've gotta be-- Hey! 359 00:19:58,542 --> 00:20:00,959 I hate that kid! 360 00:20:01,041 --> 00:20:03,542 You've just been Spider-Man-ned! 361 00:20:06,709 --> 00:20:08,542 Hope you got his swan dive on camera. 362 00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:11,375 Oh, I got it. Among other things. 363 00:20:13,583 --> 00:20:15,417 You've been screwballed. 364 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,083 It's pretty funny. 365 00:20:19,291 --> 00:20:21,417 Depends on what side you're on. 366 00:20:21,417 --> 00:20:24,125 Although today, I was glad you were on my side. 367 00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:26,959 But I also started this whole mess. 368 00:20:27,375 --> 00:20:29,291 Fixing your mistakes is part of being a hero. 369 00:20:29,959 --> 00:20:34,000 - A hero? Me? - After today? Absolutely. 370 00:20:35,417 --> 00:20:37,583 That's better than a million likes. 371 00:20:37,667 --> 00:20:41,333 Still, maybe it's time I went back to just being me. 372 00:20:44,375 --> 00:20:45,709 Liz Allan? 373 00:20:45,709 --> 00:20:49,291 - You know who I am? - Uh, of course. 374 00:20:49,375 --> 00:20:52,917 You're Midtown High's class president. Everybody knows that. 375 00:20:54,417 --> 00:20:58,208 And the perfect person to hand over Absorbing Man to the police. 376 00:20:58,208 --> 00:21:00,083 Not to mention Hammerhead. 377 00:21:00,083 --> 00:21:04,709 So, it turns out the biggest Spidey fail was that I failed Spidey. 378 00:21:04,709 --> 00:21:07,166 He was doing the kind of good I set out to do, 379 00:21:07,250 --> 00:21:09,667 but I got caught up in the popularity of it all. 380 00:21:09,667 --> 00:21:11,792 And I'm sorry about that. 381 00:21:11,792 --> 00:21:14,542 This is my last Screwball video for a while. 382 00:21:14,542 --> 00:21:16,667 In the meantime, for real news, 383 00:21:16,667 --> 00:21:19,875 Randy Robertson's blog has got you covered. 384 00:21:19,959 --> 00:21:21,542 So Spidey saved the day. 385 00:21:21,542 --> 00:21:23,750 I guess he really is a true hero, huh, Harry? 386 00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:25,625 Oh, please! 387 00:21:25,709 --> 00:21:28,500 You can't believe everything you see on the Internet, Pete. 30019

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