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1
00:00:00,667 --> 00:00:04,333
Sometimes my highly tuned
Spider-Sense tells me there's trouble.
2
00:00:04,375 --> 00:00:06,333
And sometimes I just hear
a really loud alarm.
3
00:00:09,083 --> 00:00:11,542
Don't worry, folks.
Gonna check on that pesky noise
4
00:00:11,542 --> 00:00:13,875
so you can get back
to your fancy ribbon-cutting ceremony.
5
00:00:15,875 --> 00:00:19,500
Whoa. That's a seriously big hole.
Okay, Spidey.
6
00:00:21,125 --> 00:00:23,875
Looks like you're about to take
on a whole army of...
7
00:00:23,959 --> 00:00:26,000
one bald guy?
8
00:00:27,709 --> 00:00:32,333
- You do all this damage yourself, shiny?
- Yeah. Pretty impressive, huh?
9
00:00:33,208 --> 00:00:34,583
It doesn't add up.
10
00:00:34,667 --> 00:00:37,750
You're a big guy, but that wall looks like
it was hit by a wrecking ball.
11
00:00:37,834 --> 00:00:41,667
Whoa! And there it is.
Man, can I call them or what?
12
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:46,750
- I should have my own detective show.
- People call me the Absorbing Man.
13
00:00:46,834 --> 00:00:51,792
- Because you have paper towel powers?
- Because I can absorb anything.
14
00:00:55,125 --> 00:00:57,166
Right. Just like paper towels can.
15
00:00:57,250 --> 00:00:59,041
You sure you don't wanna go
with "Paper Towel Man"?
16
00:01:00,208 --> 00:01:02,458
I promise you no other bad guys
are using that name.
17
00:01:08,625 --> 00:01:12,250
Insult me all you want. I have thick skin.
18
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,333
Or, better yet...
19
00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:17,417
sharp skin.
20
00:01:17,417 --> 00:01:18,875
Uh-oh.
21
00:01:27,208 --> 00:01:30,000
Talk about being stuck
between a rock and a hard face!
22
00:01:46,375 --> 00:01:48,625
So, you become what you touch, huh?
23
00:02:00,208 --> 00:02:02,417
Let's see what happens
when you can't touch anything.
24
00:02:02,417 --> 00:02:07,208
Hmm. Now, what do we have here?
Your vacation photos?
25
00:02:07,208 --> 00:02:09,542
Hey, gang! Screwball here!
26
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,208
Screwball?
With another fun fact.
27
00:02:12,208 --> 00:02:16,375
It's hard for a CEO to cut the ribbon
on his polluting power plant headquarters
28
00:02:16,375 --> 00:02:18,625
if he doesn't have the ribbon!
29
00:02:18,709 --> 00:02:21,333
Let this be a lesson
to all you corporate shills.
30
00:02:21,417 --> 00:02:23,208
You never know when
you'll be surprised by...
31
00:02:25,125 --> 00:02:26,875
Spider-Man?
32
00:02:26,959 --> 00:02:29,083
Mmm. Metal. No.
33
00:02:33,458 --> 00:02:35,208
You might want
to look both ways next time.
34
00:02:35,208 --> 00:02:38,291
And you might not wanna
stand there this time.
35
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:40,166
Sorry, Spider-Man.
36
00:02:40,250 --> 00:02:42,542
I expected those business goons
to chase me.
37
00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:48,625
Great.
Smile, Spider-Man.
38
00:02:48,709 --> 00:02:50,166
You've been screwballed.
39
00:02:51,834 --> 00:02:55,250
Pete, you have got to watch
the new Screwball video.
40
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:57,834
Not right now, Harry.
I'm working on something.
41
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,792
Pretty heavy security for vacation photos.
42
00:03:04,792 --> 00:03:07,917
Check it out. She totally messes
with Spider-Man.
43
00:03:07,917 --> 00:03:10,417
- It's hilarious.
- Is it?
44
00:03:10,417 --> 00:03:12,083
Because thanks
to this Screwball character,
45
00:03:12,083 --> 00:03:13,500
Spider-Man lost a bad guy.
46
00:03:13,500 --> 00:03:17,500
Oh, please! Spider-Man needs
to be taken down a peg.
47
00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:21,792
- This Screwball's my new hero.
- She's not a hero, Harry.
48
00:03:21,792 --> 00:03:24,041
Heroes have power and responsibility.
49
00:03:24,125 --> 00:03:25,417
Screwball doesn't have either.
50
00:03:25,417 --> 00:03:27,291
Oh, she has power, all right.
51
00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:29,667
The power of the Internet.
52
00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:31,333
This video's only been up a few hours,
53
00:03:31,417 --> 00:03:34,291
and it already has
hundreds of thousands of views.
54
00:03:34,375 --> 00:03:36,083
Views aren't power.
55
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:38,458
They're not? Look around.
56
00:03:38,542 --> 00:03:40,500
You've been Screwballed!
- Must be a slow news day.
57
00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:41,625
Come on!
58
00:03:41,709 --> 00:03:43,000
What's so funny?
59
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,083
Oh, hey, Liz.
60
00:03:44,083 --> 00:03:46,667
Just watching Screwball's latest post.
Have you seen it?
61
00:03:46,667 --> 00:03:50,166
Uh, no, not yet. What are people saying?
Do they like it?
62
00:03:50,583 --> 00:03:53,959
Oh, yeah. It's by far her best.
It has Spider-Man in it.
63
00:03:54,041 --> 00:03:56,166
And that's the only reason
people care about it.
64
00:03:56,250 --> 00:04:00,041
People care because Screwball
takes on corruption with cool pranks,
65
00:04:00,125 --> 00:04:02,583
not because it has Spider-Man in it.
Really?
66
00:04:02,667 --> 00:04:07,417
Then why does this video have four times
as many views as all her others?
67
00:04:07,417 --> 00:04:08,917
It does?
68
00:04:09,792 --> 00:04:13,417
Well, if involving Spider-Man
brings more attention to my causes...
69
00:04:14,625 --> 00:04:17,625
then Spider-Man is exactly
what my viewers are gonna get.
70
00:04:19,709 --> 00:04:23,875
Hey, guys. Welcome to Screwball's
brand-new Spidey segment.
71
00:04:23,959 --> 00:04:27,166
At least once a week,
I'll be making a video about Spider-Man.
72
00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:28,375
So sound off in the comments,
73
00:04:28,375 --> 00:04:30,834
and let me know what you think
of the old webhead.
74
00:04:30,834 --> 00:04:32,959
You've been Screwballed!
75
00:04:33,041 --> 00:04:34,750
Agh!
76
00:04:34,834 --> 00:04:37,125
- Where is it?
- Where's what?
77
00:04:37,125 --> 00:04:39,875
I told you to grab everything in the safe.
78
00:04:39,959 --> 00:04:41,792
And I did.
79
00:04:43,041 --> 00:04:45,875
I don't care about diamonds.
I wanted the flash drive!
80
00:04:45,959 --> 00:04:49,041
Oh, that. Spider-Man got it.
81
00:04:49,750 --> 00:04:51,458
You imbecile.
82
00:04:51,542 --> 00:04:53,333
That store is a front for The Owl,
83
00:04:53,417 --> 00:04:57,250
who was blackmailing me
with the information on that drive!
84
00:04:57,250 --> 00:04:59,834
Why didn't you tell me all this?
85
00:04:59,834 --> 00:05:04,333
Because I wanted to keep it simple enough
to absorb through your thick skull!
86
00:05:04,417 --> 00:05:08,041
The only reason I hired you
was so he wouldn't trace it to me!
87
00:05:08,125 --> 00:05:09,959
And stop eating my chips!
88
00:05:10,041 --> 00:05:11,458
I'm not!
89
00:05:13,333 --> 00:05:15,250
Aah! Busted.
90
00:05:15,959 --> 00:05:19,166
That drive has enough dirt on it
to put me away forever,
91
00:05:19,250 --> 00:05:21,792
and now Spider-Man has it.
92
00:05:21,792 --> 00:05:22,875
You get it back,
93
00:05:22,959 --> 00:05:25,750
and keep my name out of it,
or so help me--
94
00:05:28,250 --> 00:05:30,625
there won't be enough of you left
to scoop up salsa!
95
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:34,834
That's not funny.
96
00:05:35,959 --> 00:05:38,625
Spider-Man should leave
the crime-fighting to the police...
97
00:05:39,959 --> 00:05:42,291
but keep being part
of those hilarious videos.
98
00:05:43,291 --> 00:05:46,667
Leave Spider-Man alone. Spider-Man rules!
99
00:05:46,667 --> 00:05:49,375
Which is also the name
of my Spider-Man fan page.
100
00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:52,250
Spider-Man's a menace.
101
00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:53,792
I had to look that word up.
102
00:05:53,792 --> 00:05:56,125
But once I did, I agreed.
103
00:05:56,125 --> 00:05:57,625
A menace!
104
00:05:57,709 --> 00:05:59,667
- What are you doing?
- Gotta go.
105
00:06:01,333 --> 00:06:02,750
- Hey, Liz.
- Hey, Randy.
106
00:06:02,834 --> 00:06:06,000
Can we move our study group to--
Oh, come on!
107
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,917
Don't tell me you're a Screwball fan too.
108
00:06:08,458 --> 00:06:10,583
Why wouldn't I be? She's great.
109
00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:13,291
She's everything that's wrong
with the Internet.
110
00:06:13,375 --> 00:06:16,917
If she really wanted to make a difference,
she'd do something legitimate.
111
00:06:16,917 --> 00:06:19,375
Like your boring blog? Exactly!
112
00:06:19,375 --> 00:06:20,417
I mean...
113
00:06:21,125 --> 00:06:22,125
It's not boring.
114
00:06:22,834 --> 00:06:25,375
In fact, you know that power company
she pranked last week?
115
00:06:25,375 --> 00:06:28,166
It was one of a dozen businesses
bought up on the same day
116
00:06:28,250 --> 00:06:30,041
by the same anonymous corporation.
117
00:06:30,125 --> 00:06:33,417
I haven't cracked who it is yet,
but my gut tells me the Mob's behind it.
118
00:06:33,417 --> 00:06:36,208
They have-- You know what?
I'll just send you my story.
119
00:06:36,333 --> 00:06:38,750
- It's only 35 pages.
- I'm good, thanks.
120
00:06:38,834 --> 00:06:41,166
I just think you're jealous
because Screwball gets a ton of hits,
121
00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:43,667
and your blog only has three.
122
00:06:43,667 --> 00:06:47,208
So what? Screwball's numbers are down too.
123
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:50,041
Without new footage
of Spider-Man, she's nothing.
124
00:06:50,792 --> 00:06:54,041
Hey, finding Spider-Man is hard. Probably.
125
00:06:54,125 --> 00:06:55,208
Oh, I have to go.
126
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,000
My dad's speaking
at the groundbreaking ceremony
127
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,875
for the city's new media building today.
128
00:06:59,959 --> 00:07:01,917
Now, he's a real journalist.
129
00:07:01,917 --> 00:07:05,208
In fact, every major news outlet's
gonna be there,
130
00:07:05,208 --> 00:07:09,291
including my blog, thank you very much.
131
00:07:09,375 --> 00:07:11,625
Every major outlet, huh?
132
00:07:24,667 --> 00:07:26,500
Thanks for coming out
to support my dad, guys.
133
00:07:26,917 --> 00:07:28,792
I didn't even know
you knew about this event.
134
00:07:28,792 --> 00:07:31,750
Oh, this? Of course we did.
135
00:07:31,834 --> 00:07:33,291
Yeah and it has nothing to do
with the fact
136
00:07:33,375 --> 00:07:35,000
that we were
across the street having lunch.
137
00:07:35,667 --> 00:07:37,208
Don't let him fool you, Randy.
138
00:07:37,208 --> 00:07:38,583
It's just nice to do something
139
00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,959
that doesn't involve
our competing schools for a change.
140
00:07:41,583 --> 00:07:45,458
Well, technically, my dad is lending them
an Oscorp worker bot.
141
00:07:47,041 --> 00:07:48,125
I should've known.
142
00:07:48,542 --> 00:07:51,959
Well, maybe you can use a Horizon High pen
to write the story.
143
00:07:53,208 --> 00:07:54,625
Thank you, everyone.
144
00:07:55,333 --> 00:07:58,041
Before we break ground,
I'd like to say a few words,
145
00:07:58,125 --> 00:08:00,583
and though my editor won't believe me,
146
00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:02,333
I promise it'll only be a few.
147
00:08:03,417 --> 00:08:07,083
People always ask if I have any advice
for the next generation.
148
00:08:07,083 --> 00:08:09,458
If I do, it's this:
149
00:08:09,542 --> 00:08:11,875
value your story.
150
00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:15,333
Nowadays, anyone anywhere
can have an audience of millions.
151
00:08:16,458 --> 00:08:20,625
But being seen by those people
isn't the same as reaching them.
152
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:23,709
A real writer doesn't care
about getting likes,
153
00:08:23,709 --> 00:08:25,667
they care about making a difference,
154
00:08:25,667 --> 00:08:28,875
whether it's for 100,000 people
or just one.
155
00:08:30,083 --> 00:08:32,166
And now, let's put this big guy to work
156
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:34,458
and break some ground
on this new building.
157
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,041
What's it doing?
158
00:08:40,417 --> 00:08:41,625
I'm okay, son.
159
00:08:43,917 --> 00:08:45,875
You've just been Screwballed!
160
00:08:47,166 --> 00:08:49,333
It's Screwball!
- This is awful.
161
00:08:49,417 --> 00:08:51,166
She could've hurt my dad!
162
00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:54,000
Don't worry, Randy.
Her pranks look worse than they are.
163
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,333
Right, Pete?
164
00:08:55,417 --> 00:08:57,375
Um... Pete?
165
00:08:58,500 --> 00:08:59,834
Typical Parker.
166
00:09:00,375 --> 00:09:04,542
You took over the worker bot?
Not cool, Screwball.
167
00:09:04,542 --> 00:09:07,959
Are you kidding? I'm just getting started.
168
00:09:12,417 --> 00:09:14,125
Whoa! Whoa!
Screwball!
169
00:09:14,125 --> 00:09:15,417
No!
170
00:09:18,375 --> 00:09:19,834
Hold on!
171
00:09:21,250 --> 00:09:23,000
Thanks for the save, Spider-Man.
172
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,083
What in-- A billboard?
173
00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:30,500
You're gonna answer for that one.
174
00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:32,000
A bungee cord?
175
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:37,625
And cut!
176
00:09:37,709 --> 00:09:39,375
Nice work, Spidey.
177
00:09:39,375 --> 00:09:40,875
I was hoping for the banner plug,
178
00:09:40,959 --> 00:09:42,875
but the quick-drying cement
was an added bonus.
179
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,542
And what if someone out there
needed my help
180
00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:48,333
while I was preoccupied here with you?
181
00:09:48,792 --> 00:09:52,083
Relax, Spidey.
This city is full of heroes.
182
00:09:52,083 --> 00:09:55,166
I can't help it if my viewers
wanna see us together.
183
00:09:57,500 --> 00:09:59,250
WOMAN 1: Me, me. Spider-man.
WOMAN 2: Spidey! Over here!
184
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:00,583
Give us a smile. Nice!
185
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:02,166
SCREWBALL :
You've been Screwballed!
186
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:11,583
Are you seriously still watching
stupid Internet videos?
187
00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:15,000
You're supposed to be getting
my drive back from Spider-Man!
188
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,542
I tried.
189
00:10:16,542 --> 00:10:19,583
I broke into another jewelry store
to draw him out,
190
00:10:19,667 --> 00:10:22,583
but that Avenger Hawkeye
showed up instead.
191
00:10:22,667 --> 00:10:27,125
I don't want excuses!
I want you to find Spider-Man.
192
00:10:27,125 --> 00:10:28,375
Your little Internet friend here
193
00:10:28,375 --> 00:10:30,375
doesn't seem to have any trouble
finding him.
194
00:10:31,125 --> 00:10:33,583
Maybe they're partners, like us.
195
00:10:34,041 --> 00:10:35,542
We are not partners.
196
00:10:35,542 --> 00:10:40,125
- Although, that's not a bad idea.
- Really?
197
00:10:40,125 --> 00:10:44,625
- Because I can move my stuff in tomorrow.
- I'm talking about the girl.
198
00:10:44,709 --> 00:10:48,875
We get the girl, we get Spider-Man.
199
00:10:49,542 --> 00:10:51,417
Uh... How do we find him?
200
00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:56,834
Look, there's always something.
Always something they forget.
201
00:10:56,834 --> 00:11:00,166
"Midtown High School." There!
202
00:11:00,709 --> 00:11:02,166
Now get on it!
203
00:11:03,583 --> 00:11:05,709
You've just been Screwballed!
204
00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:10,250
Not a Screwball fan either, huh?
205
00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:12,500
- I thought I was the only one.
- No way.
206
00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:16,166
The Internet is the most
powerful technology in human history,
207
00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:18,375
and we use it for prank videos.
208
00:11:18,375 --> 00:11:19,500
Such a waste.
209
00:11:20,792 --> 00:11:24,083
- Hey, is that a school project?
- What? No.
210
00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:27,750
- I mean, yes.
- An asymmetric encryption key?
211
00:11:28,542 --> 00:11:30,458
Mind if I take a look?
212
00:11:31,834 --> 00:11:33,208
Whoa.
213
00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:35,792
You don't see a lot of these.
214
00:11:35,792 --> 00:11:38,583
You know what this is? Can you crack it?
215
00:11:39,083 --> 00:11:42,667
Are you kidding? This kind of
problem solving is my favorite.
216
00:11:42,667 --> 00:11:44,667
Here. I'll show you what you're missing.
217
00:11:46,125 --> 00:11:48,458
I think what I was missing was you.
218
00:11:55,417 --> 00:11:57,458
Aw. Flash, you're out.
219
00:11:57,542 --> 00:11:59,417
Bring me Screwball!
220
00:12:02,041 --> 00:12:03,458
Hey, get out of here!
221
00:12:03,542 --> 00:12:06,125
You're out! Get lost, freak!
222
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,000
Now!
223
00:12:12,959 --> 00:12:15,667
Hey! No one's going anywhere!
224
00:12:18,834 --> 00:12:22,166
Hey, one of you twerps knows where she is.
225
00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:23,917
So tell me.
226
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,250
Oh, no!
227
00:12:27,542 --> 00:12:29,458
Guess this isn't just about me anymore.
228
00:12:29,542 --> 00:12:32,000
But maybe I can do something from here.
229
00:12:33,959 --> 00:12:35,667
Spider-Man, this is Screwball.
230
00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:38,250
Got it! I broke the encryption.
231
00:12:38,250 --> 00:12:39,917
And we have
232
00:12:39,917 --> 00:12:44,667
a bunch of files with scrambled titles,
all connected to...
233
00:12:44,667 --> 00:12:45,834
Hammerhead?
234
00:12:47,208 --> 00:12:48,750
Isn't he a gangster?
235
00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:50,125
He is.
236
00:12:50,125 --> 00:12:52,250
But what do those scrambled titles mean?
237
00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:55,417
I don't know,
but there are a dozen of these files.
238
00:12:58,083 --> 00:13:01,083
Anya says we need to check out
the new Screwball video.
239
00:13:01,083 --> 00:13:04,250
She knows I'm not a fan,
so this should be interesting.
240
00:13:06,458 --> 00:13:08,458
Spider-Man, this is Screwball.
241
00:13:08,542 --> 00:13:10,583
I need you to come
to Midtown High right away.
242
00:13:10,667 --> 00:13:12,000
I'm in trouble.
243
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,083
I hope Spider-Man is watching this.
244
00:13:14,083 --> 00:13:18,291
It's probably just another prank.
That girl will do anything for attention.
245
00:13:19,291 --> 00:13:21,917
I'm getting impatient.
246
00:13:21,917 --> 00:13:25,500
Hi. Randy Robertson, freelance journalist.
247
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:29,333
What do you want with Screwball exactly?
248
00:13:29,417 --> 00:13:30,959
Stop stalling!
249
00:13:31,041 --> 00:13:34,125
If Screwball doesn't show
herself in 10 seconds,
250
00:13:34,125 --> 00:13:36,625
this guy's gonna be toast.
251
00:13:36,709 --> 00:13:38,291
Come on, Spidey. Where are you?
Ten.
252
00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:40,667
- Nine. Eight.
- Is it possible he's not coming?
253
00:13:40,667 --> 00:13:44,375
- Did I prank him one too many times?
- Seven. Six.
254
00:13:45,542 --> 00:13:47,750
- Five. Four.
- Okay. I don't need Spider-Man.
255
00:13:47,834 --> 00:13:48,959
- I'm Screwball.
- Three.
256
00:13:49,041 --> 00:13:50,792
- I'm just as good as him, right?
- Two.
257
00:13:50,792 --> 00:13:53,000
- Better, even.
- One.
258
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,583
Let him go!
259
00:13:56,583 --> 00:13:58,834
You're about to be Screwballed!
260
00:14:04,542 --> 00:14:05,917
- Huh?
- Did you really think
261
00:14:05,917 --> 00:14:08,083
you were a superhero?
262
00:14:08,083 --> 00:14:11,375
And did you really think
you could pull off that tank top?
263
00:14:12,208 --> 00:14:14,834
Spider-Man! You came!
264
00:14:14,834 --> 00:14:17,208
I was worried you thought
my video was a prank.
265
00:14:17,208 --> 00:14:19,709
To be honest,
I was wondering if it might be.
266
00:14:19,709 --> 00:14:22,083
But that's the thing about being a hero.
267
00:14:22,083 --> 00:14:23,709
You don't get to wonder.
268
00:14:23,709 --> 00:14:28,041
Webs! I don't know why
I didn't do this earlier.
269
00:14:31,667 --> 00:14:33,125
Smothered by webs?
270
00:14:33,125 --> 00:14:35,709
Is this irony? Feels like irony.
271
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:38,834
Also feels like a good time
to use my web dissolvent.
272
00:14:42,208 --> 00:14:45,166
- That wasn't nice!
- Nice?
273
00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:46,750
Now you're worried about being nice?
274
00:14:54,667 --> 00:14:57,917
Just give me the flash drive,
and I'll let them go!
275
00:14:58,750 --> 00:15:01,208
The flash drive?
That's what this is about?
276
00:15:01,208 --> 00:15:04,417
I don't have it on me. Do you see pockets?
277
00:15:04,417 --> 00:15:06,208
Fine, then.
278
00:15:07,166 --> 00:15:10,500
Meet me at the new media building
construction site.
279
00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:15,000
Be there in an hour, or you'll find
a couple of concrete teens
280
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,959
waiting for you.
281
00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:20,375
Get to safety!
282
00:15:22,583 --> 00:15:25,709
Just a sec.
This is gonna get so many likes.
283
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:32,166
This is all my fault.
284
00:15:32,250 --> 00:15:33,917
Now, there's a news flash.
285
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:38,375
But you did put your life on the line
to save a total stranger.
286
00:15:38,375 --> 00:15:40,166
You're not a stranger, Randy.
287
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:43,709
You're my friend.
288
00:15:44,375 --> 00:15:46,208
Liz? But why?
289
00:15:47,417 --> 00:15:48,667
I don't know.
290
00:15:48,667 --> 00:15:51,166
I used to feel so special.
291
00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:55,625
I was a straight-A student,
the class president of Midtown High.
292
00:15:55,709 --> 00:15:58,792
But then came genius schools
like Horizon High and Oz Academy,
293
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:02,041
and those things didn't
seem to be enough anymore.
294
00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:04,291
So I became Screwball.
295
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,125
Thought I could be
a hero to the community.
296
00:16:07,125 --> 00:16:10,625
I guess I lost sight of that
when I started focusing on Spider-Man.
297
00:16:10,709 --> 00:16:14,291
I felt powerful
because I had the attention.
298
00:16:14,375 --> 00:16:16,417
But I guess it takes
a different kind of power
299
00:16:16,417 --> 00:16:17,875
to be a real hero.
300
00:16:17,959 --> 00:16:21,333
Well, saving my life was no small thing.
301
00:16:21,417 --> 00:16:22,959
Thanks.
302
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,041
Get out!
303
00:16:34,959 --> 00:16:37,000
Dangling over a cement mixer?
304
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,041
Oh, that's the last time
I let you watch the kids.
305
00:16:39,125 --> 00:16:42,625
Spider-Man, you made it.
306
00:16:42,709 --> 00:16:45,083
Hand over the drive,
and nobody gets hurt.
307
00:16:45,083 --> 00:16:50,166
Sure. Should I give it to you,
or directly to your boss, Hammerhead?
308
00:16:50,667 --> 00:16:53,166
Oh-ho, congratulations.
309
00:16:53,875 --> 00:16:56,750
You figured out the dumb brute's
actually working for me.
310
00:16:56,834 --> 00:16:58,792
- You want a medal?
- No.
311
00:16:58,792 --> 00:17:01,208
Although there's probably
enough metal in your head
312
00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:03,417
to give me the gold, silver, and bronze.
313
00:17:03,417 --> 00:17:08,542
Just deliver the goods,
and we'll let the kids go.
314
00:17:08,542 --> 00:17:10,208
Sure thing.
315
00:17:11,792 --> 00:17:13,250
Now let them go.
316
00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:16,542
Oh, that's exactly what I plan on doing.
317
00:17:16,542 --> 00:17:17,625
Drop them!
318
00:17:20,375 --> 00:17:22,625
I knew a thug like you
couldn't be trusted.
319
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:25,208
But I thought I'd give you a chance
before I went to the police
320
00:17:25,208 --> 00:17:27,375
with the list of businesses
you're using to launder money.
321
00:17:27,417 --> 00:17:29,417
What? Well, how did you--
322
00:17:29,917 --> 00:17:34,583
- Easy. Just used the old noggin.
- Extinguish that bug!
323
00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:40,542
Oops.
324
00:17:40,542 --> 00:17:45,208
Can't I have just one person
that does what I need them to do?
325
00:17:45,208 --> 00:17:47,333
I'll take care of this myself.
326
00:17:54,750 --> 00:17:57,500
See how easily
you're replaced, Absorbing Man?
327
00:17:57,500 --> 00:18:00,500
Clearly, your boss likes them
big, bad, and easy to control.
328
00:18:02,834 --> 00:18:06,291
Then he's gonna love
this new power I have.
329
00:18:06,375 --> 00:18:08,792
Sometimes I don't know
why I open my mouth.
330
00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:15,250
Didn't know I could
increase in size, did you?
331
00:18:15,250 --> 00:18:18,291
Hold still.
I'll have us out of here in a second.
332
00:18:18,375 --> 00:18:22,500
You increased in size and strength,
but sadly not in looks.
333
00:18:26,792 --> 00:18:28,250
No!
334
00:18:30,750 --> 00:18:33,291
Oh, no. I just got an idea.
335
00:18:33,375 --> 00:18:35,417
Yo, chrome dome! Over here!
336
00:18:42,750 --> 00:18:44,667
That's an impressive ability
you have there.
337
00:18:44,667 --> 00:18:47,250
Not as impressive as absorbing knowledge,
of course.
338
00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:52,792
I'd pick strength over smarts any day.
339
00:18:53,583 --> 00:18:55,709
I figured. Otherwise you would've realized
340
00:18:55,709 --> 00:18:58,333
that the metal
you just absorbed was lithium.
341
00:18:58,834 --> 00:19:00,333
Yeah? So what?
342
00:19:00,834 --> 00:19:04,166
So, lithium doesn't react well
with certain compounds.
343
00:19:04,250 --> 00:19:07,291
- Like your face?
- No.
344
00:19:08,709 --> 00:19:10,083
Like water.
345
00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:22,792
- Is he gone?
- Sadly, I doubt it.
346
00:19:22,792 --> 00:19:25,000
He'll probably pull himself
together soon enough.
347
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,000
Still, that was amazing!
348
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,667
- You saved the day!
- With your help.
349
00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:32,750
That drive didn't mean a thing
until I remembered the story on your blog
350
00:19:32,834 --> 00:19:34,542
about the companies
that were just bought up.
351
00:19:34,542 --> 00:19:35,750
You--
352
00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:38,458
You read my blog?
353
00:19:38,542 --> 00:19:40,667
Spider-Man is one of my three hits!
354
00:19:42,375 --> 00:19:44,041
Spider-Sense. Whoa!
355
00:19:44,125 --> 00:19:46,709
I'm gonna crush you
like the insect you are!
356
00:19:49,834 --> 00:19:52,333
What's wrong with this piece of junk?
357
00:19:52,417 --> 00:19:54,625
You've just been Screwballed!
358
00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:58,542
What? You've gotta be-- Hey!
359
00:19:58,542 --> 00:20:00,959
I hate that kid!
360
00:20:01,041 --> 00:20:03,542
You've just been Spider-Man-ned!
361
00:20:06,709 --> 00:20:08,542
Hope you got his swan dive on camera.
362
00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:11,375
Oh, I got it. Among other things.
363
00:20:13,583 --> 00:20:15,417
You've been screwballed.
364
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,083
It's pretty funny.
365
00:20:19,291 --> 00:20:21,417
Depends on what side you're on.
366
00:20:21,417 --> 00:20:24,125
Although today,
I was glad you were on my side.
367
00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:26,959
But I also started this whole mess.
368
00:20:27,375 --> 00:20:29,291
Fixing your mistakes
is part of being a hero.
369
00:20:29,959 --> 00:20:34,000
- A hero? Me?
- After today? Absolutely.
370
00:20:35,417 --> 00:20:37,583
That's better than a million likes.
371
00:20:37,667 --> 00:20:41,333
Still, maybe it's time
I went back to just being me.
372
00:20:44,375 --> 00:20:45,709
Liz Allan?
373
00:20:45,709 --> 00:20:49,291
- You know who I am?
- Uh, of course.
374
00:20:49,375 --> 00:20:52,917
You're Midtown High's class president.
Everybody knows that.
375
00:20:54,417 --> 00:20:58,208
And the perfect person
to hand over Absorbing Man to the police.
376
00:20:58,208 --> 00:21:00,083
Not to mention Hammerhead.
377
00:21:00,083 --> 00:21:04,709
So, it turns out the biggest Spidey fail
was that I failed Spidey.
378
00:21:04,709 --> 00:21:07,166
He was doing the kind of good
I set out to do,
379
00:21:07,250 --> 00:21:09,667
but I got caught up
in the popularity of it all.
380
00:21:09,667 --> 00:21:11,792
And I'm sorry about that.
381
00:21:11,792 --> 00:21:14,542
This is my last Screwball video
for a while.
382
00:21:14,542 --> 00:21:16,667
In the meantime, for real news,
383
00:21:16,667 --> 00:21:19,875
Randy Robertson's blog
has got you covered.
384
00:21:19,959 --> 00:21:21,542
So Spidey saved the day.
385
00:21:21,542 --> 00:21:23,750
I guess he really is
a true hero, huh, Harry?
386
00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:25,625
Oh, please!
387
00:21:25,709 --> 00:21:28,500
You can't believe everything
you see on the Internet, Pete.
30019
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