Original subtitles

(ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC)

(ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC CONTINUES)

(ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC CONTINUES)

# Girls! Girls! Girls!

# Girls! Girls! Girls on my mind!

# Tall and short, the mothering sort

# The dumb blonde type, like a peach that's ripe

# The dark-haired beauty whose men are her duty

# The sinful miss who's never had a kiss

# Girls! Girls! Girls! Girls on my mind!

# The cute baby doll, the tough little moll

# Hard to get but she knows how to pet

# The kid like my sister until I've kissed her

# Fiery red who goes to my head

# Girls! Girls! Girls! Girls on my mind!

# While I've got strength and health

# No one help, I'll help myself

# To huggin' and kissin' and lovin' my lovely doll

# The cuddly bunny who's a honey

# The pretty girl with bows and curls

# The minky kind with men on her mind

# What a choice! Rejoice!

# Girls! Girls! Girls! Girls on my mind!

# The cuddly bunny who's a honey, pretty girls with bows and curls

# The minky kind with men on her mind

# What a choice! Rejoice!

# Girls! Girls! Girls! Girls on my mind!

# Girls! Love 'em! #

(FANS YELLING)

I'm here to see Ted Heath. I'm not with these people! No!

They're not with me! I've come to see...

..Ted Heath!

Mr Lotis. Come on, now! Get back!

All right, now, make way, come on!

- Mr Lotis, I'm Ken Millar. - Hi, Ken.

No, no, no! This is a song I want to get to Ted Heath.

Mr...

Here comes Ted, come on!

Mr Millar! Fifteen pounds, twelve shillings and threepence.

- Threepence? - 6 weeks' rent,

12 full breakfasts.

Miss Gilly, all we ask is your confidence.

- All I ask is my rent. - And you'll get it!

- By noon, tomorrow or out. - Miss Gilly,

would you have thrown Irving Berlin out into the street?

If he'd had 12 full breakfasts.

Miss Gilly, you know something?

You're the only woman I've met who can look cute in curlers.

I'd look even cuter with fifteen pounds,

twelve shillings and threepence in my hand!

Who is it?

- Friend! - That's a nice change.

Yes, we've got another change coming tomorrow at noon.

- Had ominous rumblings from below. - I know.

Mount Gilly's been erupting again.

- Good evening. - Good heavens!

- She attacked you? - No, this is the Coliseum.

Where are all the buttons?

In St Martin's Lane.

This is our best shirt! I may have to go to Fielding's tomorrow

- about a job - You'll have to wear the other one.

The other one? Have you seen it recently?

Look at the collar. Look at these cuffs, they're like hula skirts!

What do you think I've been doing,

standing outside the stage door plucking off buttons?

He'll see me, he'll see me not, he'll see me, he'll see me not.

- He saw you? - I didn't get near him.

You'll have to take the buttons off that one.

Any luck with the publishers?

They gave me a cup of tea at Chapel's.

Didn't anyone like any of the numbers?

Oh sure. 'In Fine Fettle and Fancy-Free',

"Very nice. The public's tired of rhythm.

It wants ballads." 'Love is a Game',

"Very nice. The public's tired of ballads, it wants gimmicks."

Right, here's a song with a gimmick.

'Down to My Last Romance', "What's the gimmick?"

- It's got a melody. - And what did they say?

That's when they gave me the tea. Any news your end?

Yes. Two large men are most anxious to take the piano away.

Take it away?

Two pounds, fifteen shillings...

And for that, they'd stifle inspiration!

This is the bridge you said we'd cross when we got to it.

Don't panic, don't panic.

Be British. How much can we raise?

- Seven and tenpence. - I've got seven shillings.

Tuppence short of fifteen shillings.

What's that?

That's a piano bill, they send a stamped envelope.

Fifteen bob.

I suppose this'll pawn for a pound.

Good old Oscar's always good for a couple.

Not any more, he's burst a spring.

We'll have to perform an operation on Oscar in the morning.

There you are, three pounds fifteen, that takes care of the piano.

The rest can be a sweetener for Gilly.

She doesn't want a sweetener, she wants the lot or out.

No woman ever refused money, and Gilly's a woman.

How can you tell?

- Where are we on the rota? - It's Monday.

You're top.

Maybe they're right, Ken.

- Maybe we're just kidding ourselves - We're kidding nobody.

You've got melodies there ready to stand up with the best of them.

Like this one?

That one doesn't count, it's a bread and butter number.

Everyone needs to write that sort of thing to get started,

to get a foothold.

The last one didn't even get a toehold.

What are you talking about? They printed 10,000 copies!

They've still got 9,990 of them.

We swept the country with 10 copies.

We've sold other things since then.

Yes, my cufflinks, your pen and our watches.

Hey! You wrote a middle to it.

Mmm, came to me in a nightmare.

Don't sneer, don't sneer.

This might be another 'O Mein Papa'.

Do you think the world can stand another one?

What's this? I can't read my own writing.

I should have been a doctor!

All right: a one, a two...

# The girl I love best is...

# ..my mother

# The girl with the silvery hair #

Shut up!

- People are trying to go to sleep! - Now you've woken the baby!

# I first fell in love with...

# ..my mother

# When she rocked

# Me to sleep

# In her chair

#- In her chair. # - Shut up!

Do you want me to come up and smash it?

Stop banging that piano and go to sleep!

What's the matter? Don't you love your mother?

Oh no!

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello? Oui...

Oui.

Oh, it's you, Papa!

Now, Papa, please don't start again.

I'm not coming back to Paris.

No, I don't want any money, Papa, don't worry about me.

I'm gonna make good, and I'm not coming home until I do.

No, goodbye,

And many, many kisses to oncle Marcelle, tante Marie,

cousine Francoise, cousine Pierre, toute la famille.

Au revoir, Papa.

(TUNING HER VOICE)

(SHE CONTINUES TUNING HER VOICE)

(SHE CONTINUES TUNING HER VOICE)

Hey! if you've got to make that horrible row, close your window!

(SHE CONTINUES TUNING HER VOICE)

All week she's been at it, she's driving me crazy!

Like living next door to a toothache.

Which window is she?

Opposite somewhere, I don't know.

Pity, we night lob in a smoke bomb.

If you don't know 'em now, you'll never know 'em!

All right, come and get it.

Time for the mail, do you want to take a look?

What, and walk into the jaws of Gilly?

Do you know what Fieldings pay a music demonstrator?

Twelve pounds a week.

Ooh, I'm dizzy.

Maybe working for Fieldings Music Corporation,

it'd be easier to get numbers in.

First, you've got to get the job.

Well, if they'd answered my letter straight away,

with any luck, we should be hearing from them.

If there's anything in the law of averages,

We're about due for a bit of luck.

I'll give it a week. If we don't get anything, I'll get a job.

Even if it's pushing a barrow down Oxford Street.

Sooner or later, they're going to want plain, simple melodies.

What's lived down through the ages?

Jive? Swing? Tone poems?

Not on your life. Melody.

All this chi-chi about dissonance and contrapuntal melody...

- They were on the line. - Our line?

- It must live across the area. - Well! Have you seen it around?

No, it must be new. What now?

We behave like gentlemen.

Take an apology.

I'm so sorry,

we thought it was our towel.

If you would care to discuss damages...

You know something?

I think I ought to take them round and apologise personally.

That's just the sort of thing you would think.

Mr Thompson!

Mr Thompson!

Did you hear me?

- Mr Millar! - One moment, Miss Gilly.

Just getting something on, Miss Gilly.

Getting something on?

At nine oclock?

Any self-respecting man would have something on by now.

He's coming!

There's a letter for you.

There have been complaints you were playing music after hours.

That wasn't music, Miss Gilly.

That was 'The Girl I Love Best Is My Mother'.

You know the house rules.

No musical instruments after 11,

no cooking at any time, and no women after lighting up time.

This is it.

- They've sent for me. - Who, the income tax?

No, Fieldings Music Corporation. "Be there at 9:30.

If satisfactory, start at once."

Furthermore, you know very well

electric irons, fire stoves and hair dryers are prohibited in rooms.

What did I tell you, Miss Gilly? Have faith, I said, and you did.

Others wavered, at times even we wavered,

but not you.

You were steadfast in your determination.

Yes, and I still am. At noon, or out.

Miss Gilly, look at that boy.

Going forth from the only place he knows as home.

Can you really ask him to bring his 12 pounds back to some other room?

What 12 pounds?

That's what I'll get as a demonstrator.

A demonstrator! Think of that, Miss Gilly,

He's sunk his artist's pride so that he can demonstrate

other people's music,

Would Tchaikovsky have done it? Would Mendelssohn have done it?

- Shut up and listen to me.

Get the job, and I'll wait till Friday,

don't get it and out!

Miss Gilly, I think I'm going to kiss you.

Keep your fingers crossed.

You boys must think I'm a halfwit or something!

Miss Gilly, we think you're the smartest and most

attractive woman in the district.

Yes, well get the stink of sausages out

of here, it's smelling up the landing.

Good morning, I have an appointment with--

Quiet, please!

This is the climactic moment.

Oh, those broken rhythmic lines!

That intricate, progressive melody.

Of course I'll have it. Charge it to the paper.

I don't know how Conti does it.

It almost defies technical explanation.

Defies it!

Is he kidding?

That, my friend, was a music critic.

And that, my friend, was murder.

Each to his own. We've sold hundreds of 'em!

- Good morning, Harold. - Good morning, ladies.

Have to keep them all happy, you know.

- Oh, you wanted-- - Professional manager.

Follow the songbirds.

Oh, thanks.

(PIANO PLAYING REHEARSAL)

Well, well, this is a pleasure.

Been much too long since you came to see us.

Mr Thompson. Perhaps you'd better play something.

Try this. Just keep a steady 4/4 tempo.

4/4.

- Morning, Eddie. - Well, this is a pleasure!

- They want to sing 'Honest Living'. - Oh, wonderful!

It might have been written for you.

But it ought to be in D.

Surely that's not too low for you?

- Nothing's too low for us. - Yes, OK.

D.

Just give them an A.

Do, re, mi, so...

# You've asked for this, yes, and you're gonna get it

# We're going to sing, yes, and you won't forget it

# Although tomorrow, we're bound to regret it

# We gotta make an honest living somehow, yeah! #

Sensational, girls!

- Can we do the pass for Wednesday? - Got to, try Joe.

Thanks, Eddie, so long.

So long! Great little people!

- Now Mr... - Thompson.

Let's hear you play something.

Try this, just keep a steady 4/4 tempo. 4/4.

(INTERCOM BUZZING)

Hello? Yes, Mr Fielding!

Yes, Mr Fielding.

Don't "yes" me, you know I hate it.

Everyone's to say exactly what they think

even if it costs them their job.

Of course, Governor, of course. Right away.

Excuse me.

- What's our summer plug number? - 'Misty Moon'.

Scrub it. I've got a gimmick number here that's gonna clean up.

Get out a campaign, TVs, summer shows,

it'll last right through pantomime. It's got a smash title,

'When the Moon Shines Down On Any Town You Like.'

Get me Ted Heath.

'When the Moon Shines Down On Any Town You Like.'

It's a gimmick, isn't it?

- Well, I... - It's adaptable, see?

Suppose you're playing Wolverhampton.

'When the Moon Shines Down On Wolverhampton.'

Or 'When the Moon Shines Down On Cardiff.'

It could even shine down on Manchester.

Hello, yes? Ted!

Oh, just one moment, please.

I'd like to bring the brass in here with a big crescendo and then...

- ..down for saxes. - Mr Fielding.

Don't go away.

Good morning, Bert.

Ted, I've got a sensational new number for you.

Sensational! Come and have lunch with me today... What?

I wish I could, Bert, but we're recording from lunchtime on,

and tonight we're at Hammersmith Palais. How about tomorrow?

That's too late, Ted. It's got to go in for printing today.

You want me to put someone else on the cover?

Look, Bert, any other time.

I'm telling you, you'll be sorry!

- Smashing show last night, Ted. - Thanks. Were you there?

No, the office put it through the 2-way.

No wonder I can never get a cab!

- Good morning, Harold. - Good morning, Mr Heath.

Mantovani won't like that, you know.

It's a pleasure to see you boys,

we don't see nearly enough of you.

Oh, good morning.

Would you like to hear me now, sir?

- I came here to... - Oh, good heavens, yes!

Of course, so sorry, come in, come in!

Now let's see, try this.

Just keep a steady 4/4 tempo.

4/4.

Ted! Ted! Hello!

Hello, Eddie, what's this new masterpiece the governor's got?

Oh, I'd rather he explained it himself.

- He's got about 15 minutes. - He's waiting for you right now.

Good morning, Bert,

My friend!

My very dear friend, sit down.

Look, Bert, I really do have to be away

in less than a quarter of an hour.

Time enough, Ted, time enough to make song history!

Where's the pianist? He wants to hear the number.

Do you think I'm going to whistle it?

No, of course.

It doesn't matter about the pianist. I can read the manuscript.

No, Ted, this one you've got to hear.

I want you to get the full impact.

Where's that pianist?

57 people I employ, and I can't get a pianist.

Harold, can you play the piano?

I can't even play cards.

- But everyone's gone to lunch. - I can play piano.

Who are you?

Come on!

A pianist, governor!

About time. We've been waiting.

Here, play that, we're in a hurry.

Not like that!

This song's about the moon, not an elephant's stampede.

Play it slowly, with feeling.

Sell it, and sing it.

# When the moon shines down on

# - Manchester # - Wolverhampton

# I'll be waiting there for you

# You can take your pick

# Of any town you like

# Whichever place is home to you #

Look, I'm sure it's got great possibilities,

but it just isn't me.

You haven't heard it properly, it's a gimmick.

- What were you doing in Manchester? - It says here, "Manchester".

Never mind what it says there! We've got to start in the same town.

I really don't think it's my style of number.

It's another 'Yes, We Have No Bananas'!

Bert, I've got to go,

If you'd like to give me a copy, I'll give it to my pianist.

Have it copied out straight away.

- They're all at lunch! - I'll copy it.

- Who are you? - My name's Thompson, sir.

Where will you be this afternoon, Mr Heath?

Oh, everywhere. Make it tonight at the Hammersmith Palais.

- This'll get you in. - Right.

- Could someone get me a cab? - 57 employees I've got,

Surely one of them's capable of getting you a cab.

If I was Ted Heath and I'd been dragged over here to listen to that,

- I'd bop Mr Fielding on the nose. - So would I, son.

If I ever hear you talking like that

again, you're fired. Now, get to work.

Yes, sir!

Jumping, leaping, galloping mackerel!

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

He's still not back, Miss Gilly.

Please, I have brought you a towel.

- A what? - A towel.

A towel? You mean?

You're the lady with the...

Without the...

Please, I don't wish to disturb you,

I shall put it here on the mat.

No, no, no, don't do that! I want to be disturbed! Just a minute!

Don't go away.

You still there?

Yes.

I don't know how to apologise. I took yours by mistake.

I thought the washer woman had hung it there,

and then I thought it was dirty

and put it in the laundry basket,

and will you be pleased to accept one of mine until Friday?

You see, Friday, the laundry comes back,

and I'm very, very sorry,

- and will you? I do.

I took yours by mistake, you see, I thought...

You're angry.

Fascinated. Keep talking.

You do understand my position?

No. Won't you sit down and explain it to me?

You see, I thought the washer woman--

Had hung it there.

- Oui. - Oui.

Think nothing of it, Miss...

My full name is Georgette Therese Suzanne Gabrielle Francoise Du Bois,

- but people call me Georgie. - I'm glad of that.

Mine's Millar. Just Ken.

- Enchantee. - I'll double that.

- Please? - I'm enchante too.

How long have you lived across the way?

Since last week.

- You're busy, and I must go. - Oh, must you?

You are cold?

Got a slight chest cold, nothing much.

You must watch it. It can be very dangerous.

My grandpere, he had a chest cold like that.

Nothing, he said, just like you.

Sunday, nothing. Monday, something.

Tuesday, funeral.

- I'll watch it. - D'accord.

D'accord.

- You wish me to buy you something? - No.

It's very sweet of you, but my partner's looking after me fine.

- Your wife? - My wife?

No, no, no, my business partner, Ray Thompson,

we write songs together.

You write songs? No! Oh, the piano!

So, you're the one I hear!

Not exactly, no, that's Ray.

I hope we haven't annoyed you too much.

- Of course not. - It is pretty noisy around here.

Have you heard the old bat who sings scales all day?

Oh, I certainly have.

- It's me. - It's you.

- It's you. - Yes, it's me, come on!

- Thompson and Millar? - Well, half of them.

To collect. One piano.

- Correct, Jim? - Correct, Al.

One piano?

Wait a minute!

This is a most inconvenient time to take it!

Nothing to do with us, mate. Hoffa says do, we do.

Correct, Jim?

- Correct, Al. - It isn't correct at all,

Just going to be tuned.

Who cleans your room for you?

We take it in turns, why?

What would you do if you didn't have a piano?

Give me a brush.

Oh no, you don't have to bother about that.

Is it like this under the beds too?

No, we only keep the frying pan under the bed.

- What is that? - One piano. Correct, Georgie?

Correct, Ken.

And what do you think you're doing?

We was told to remove the piano, ma'am.

But you weren't told to remove my stairs!

Oh, no, no!

Wait a minute!

Two pounds, fifteen shillings, you can take it up again.

- Take it up again? - That's right.

Shake hands with a working man!

Take it up again. Correct, Al?

Let down the drawbridge! The garrison is relieved!

Courage, Men! General Thompson has brought reinforcements.

- Wow! - Come in, General, this is Georgie.

Georgie, meet my junior partner.

- Enchantee. - Yes, indeed!

So this is what goes on while I'm at the office.

No, no, this is...

Yes, I am the old bat who sings scales all day.

When I said old bat, I didn't know it was you.

But you're so right, I sing them just like an old bat.

Miss Georgie, I'd like to apologise for what I said to you.

It is I who apologise for your towel.

- You see, I... - That's all right, Georgie..

You tune so quick?

It's all right, general Thompson fixed that... Hey!

Don't leave it there!

Half past five we knock off, it's now six.

Six! Ooh la la! I must go!

- May we see you again? - But, of course,

I bring back your towel Friday.

And thank you both for being so kind.

If I were in your boots, I would have blown my head.

Au revoir!

Dream over.

You don't appreciate the finer things in life.

I don't, and I've got news for you. See this gramophone?

- It goes both ways. - Do we ask double for it?

We're going to make a fortune out of it!

Good, but in the meantime I've got a sub, got 25 bob left,

got tickets for Ted Heath's show tonight

and got a date to see him afterwards.

Fine, fine.

Did you hear? I've met Ted Heath.

Melody Maker, Record Poll, read number two.

Biff Conti's 'New Concepts of Modern Jazz'.

- You heard it? - Yes, this morning.

- And? - Horrible.

Right.

- How about that? - Slightly better.

That's a gimmick, done on an organ?

That, my friend, is the newest and the greatest of the tone poems.

- Who wrote it? - Rossini.

'Barber of Seville' - backwards.

Wait a minute.

Why not? They want chi-chi, we'll give it to 'em.

- We'll call their bluff. - You're joking!

You didn't know the difference between

that and the Biff Conti nightmare.

Except that sounded better.

If we had a tape machine and recorded that backwards,

you'd be hailed as a new genius of modern music.

- You need air, son. - But, Ray!

Isn't that a beautiful voice?

It's the greatest gimmick of them all!

We put it on tape just as it is,

we take it to the publishers, the composer's

Polish, Austrian, anything you like.

- Holy doodle, that's an idea! - Of course it's an idea!

He's temperamental, see?

He'll only record up in the mountains.

On an organ! Straight away, he's a character with a gimmick!

What are you doing?

I'm a character with another gimmick.

All right! I stop singing.

Don't you stop anything, I just wanted to know if

you'd like to come to a Ted Heath dance tonight.

- A dance tonight? - In about half an hour.

Oh, c'est formidable! D'accord! A tout a l'heure!

- A tout a l'heure! - A tout a l'heure!

- You've got a nerve! - I don't see what's wrong.

Listen, Romeo, I brought that girl into our lives,

I dictated the note that brought her here.

And who wiped his hands...

And what makes you think it's your shirt tonight?

Because Ted Heath's expecting me.

- In a shirt. - That's all we need,

- you wining and dining women. - Hey, that's mine.

Do you think I'm going to let you loose with a girl and 25 shillings?

I've got to have some money.

Five shillings, and come straight home.

Five shillings!

Ample. Bus there and back and three shillings mad money.

Supposing she wants to eat?

Packet of crisps, good for her voice.

Now run along while I plan our new career.

If you think I'm taking her on a bus with a packet of crisps...

You've got the girl, you've got the shirt,

you've got five shillings. What more do you want?

I want to stay out of jail!

(BIG BAND MUSIC)

(BIG APPLAUSE)

- Fantastique Ted Heath! - Fantastique Mademoiselle Georgie!

You were very kind to bring me tonight.

Also your partner to give me his ticket.

- Tell me about him. - Who, Ken?

Oh no, let's enjoy ourselves.

He is a bad partner?

- No, he's a nice guy. - And you, what sort of guy are you?

I'm a nice guy. I write the music, or try to.

'The Girl I Love Best Is My Mother'?

Oh, you heard it?

I also heard everyone telling you to shut up!

That's not the kind of music I like to write.

Then why do you write it?

It's commercial. It's what the public wants.

I don't believe it. The public buy what they like.

And they like what is good, and if it is good, they buy it.

And that makes it commercial even if it isn't.

I wish you were a publisher.

Yes, yes, come on.

No, no, it is not good for me to come.

Nonsense, a pretty girl always helps a business deal.

You have a deal with Mr Heath?

He doesn't know it yet, but I'm going to sell him our Mother song.

No, no, no, I will powder my nose and wait outside.

- But Georgie... - No, no, no!

Excuse me, I have a piano copy for Mr Heath.

OK, fine, I'll see he gets it.

I'm Paul Taylor, his manager.

But it has to be delivered personally.

He's got to broadcast to America in half an hour.

Mr Heath asked me to bring it, and Mr Fielding

ordered me to bring it, so what do we do now?

- You'd better bring it to me. - Oh.

- Mr Thompson, isn't it? - That's right, it's the copy.

Thanks, did you like the show?

That's a fine band you have there, but, er...

But what?

Ted, we don't have time for chit-chat.

I'd like to hear you play some new numbers,

in fact I have one I'd like you to hear.

Oh no! I must have picked up the wrong song.

But I can sing it for you.

You can sing it for us? Look, we only have twenty minutes.

OK, send me a copy, and I promise a quick reply. What's it called?

So I'll know it.

'The Girl I Love Best Is My Mother'.

Send it to my office. Thanks for coming. Goodnight.

- Oh, but... - Look, kid,

do you want it straight from the shoulder?

It's too much like music.

It's not Ted Heath.

There's still a market for those sort of numbers,

but not for big bands.

Anyway, send it in, and the old man'll hear it,

But I shouldn't put too much faith in it.

What makes you think I still have faith?

It's Dennis Lotis!

I'm not Dennis Lotis!

Ooh la la! You have no buttons here!

I've none at home either, we've had quite a run on them lately.

Can we go back, and I will repair you.

I will put on some cafe.

- You take off your chemise. - My what?

Your chemise.

- You shirt. - Oh, I should think so.

Isn't life funny?

This morning you were just the old bat across the area,

this evening you're sewing buttons on my chemise.

I hope I have the right buttons.

As long as you sew them in the right places.

Holy doodle!

Ken was only talking about a tape recorder this morning.

He is welcome to borrow it.

No thanks, he's only talking.

That's Ken, always talking.

Play me something, Ray.

- Play me something you like. - It must be nearly midnight.

Ca ne faire rien.

If it is good, no one will complain, you will see.

That's what I'm afraid of.

I'll play you one that isn't commercial.

# Love at first sight

# I never believed it true

# Until I fell in love at first sight

# With you

# When you came along

# Your heart was my guiding star

# When you came along

# Time stopped in that magic hour

# All the lovely things that love can do

# Suddenly happened to me

# Then the secret of my dreams

# You at last set free

# When you came along

# My heart thundered like the sea

# When you came along

# I knew you had come for me

# Every tender word you spoke to me

# Was like a lover's song

# When

# You came

# Along... #

(PAN CLANGING)

So, this is what's known as coming straight home.

Oh, hi, Ken.

Bonsoir. I am sewing his buttons on.

It's very cosy, isn't it?

The, how you call, fans tore them off!

Yes, you know how my fans are.

I'll make some cafe, you'd like to join us?

So far, there's been a modicum of trust between us.

Now, Ken.

But this is overstepping the bounds of friendship.

You've left me here, pale and sickly from lack of air.

If it hadn't been for the buttons...

You've taken advantage of me, that girl and our shirt.

I haven't taken advantage of her.

It is all ready. You come over?

Thank you, no. I have some ironing to do.

Good night!

Bonne nuit.

He's good at ironing?

He's good at everything but making money.

Don't be rude. You could make money with that song.

Sell lots of copies, I'm sure.

Georgie, once upon a time, you could get a song published,

a star would sing it, and pretty soon you'd sell a lot of copies.

But no more, fini.

People don't buy sheet music anymore, they buy records.

They buy a lot of records?

If it's a hit, they buy thousands.

First, somebody's got to record it.

Ted Heath sells thousands?

Ted Heath?

He sells thousands and thousands.

If you sent him 'When You Came Along'

instead of 'The Girl I Love Best'--

I'm not sending anything to Ted Heath.

- But I thought-- - I'm fast deciding Ken's right,

You don't stand a chance today. All they want's gimmicks.

- What is gimmicks? - Angles, twists,

Ken's got a fantastic one, I don't know.

Voila, c'est fini.

The bottom one is a pyjama button, but it won't show.

Something nobody's' thought of, a shirt with pyjama buttons.

I only had three of the right ones, so...

So, unselfishly, you gave up your pyjamas, eh?

No, it was an extra one. You like some more cafe?

I would, but I won't, thanks.

Oscar Hammerstein's getting impatient,

and furthermore, he's jealous.

Oh, then home you go, Mr Thompson.

- I cannot stand jealous men. - It'll be pistols for two at dawn.

Then, bonne chance, monsieur,

And thank you for a wonderful last evening.

Enchante, madame.

(PAN CLANGING)

Take the girl to a Ted Heath dance,

fine, but you're not content with that,

you have to wheedle your way into her room.

I did not wheedle. I went to have my buttons sewn on.

You've never sewn them on yourself.

Next time, you have the shirt.

Next time. You're out all day and who's to say when you'll be back.

At the end of the week, we'll get the others out of pawn.

Oh, sure, come the revolution, and we'll all have shirts.

But until then, you play fair.

All right, mummy, now may I go to bed?

Nobody dates Georgie Du Bois until we can both stand fully dressed.

- Agreed? - Agreed.

By the way, your boss, Fielding, is going to get a letter from Italy.

From Italy?

I sent it to a friend of mine in Rome to mail for me.

It's from Herr Rimsikoff.

And who is Herr Rimsikoff?

He's Polish, he's temperamental, he'll only record on an organ,

and he composes music backwards.

Wait a minute, you don't honestly believe

you're going to get away with that, do you?

Why not? I've got it all planned out down to the last detail.

He's named us as his London representative.

Us? You're out of your mind! We'll end up at the Old Bailey!

You're wrong, we'll end up in Park Lane.

Park Lane!

With a gold-plated Rolls with platinum wheels

and mink-covered seats.

(COMICAL MUSIC)

- What? What? - Dream over.

- Morning. - Good morning.

- Morning, Harold. - Hello, did you get the job?

Yes, I got it.

Could I hear that Biff Conti record again?

'New Concepts of Modern Jazz'?

My, you're a glutton for punishment.

- Yes, dear? - What time's the singing audition?

- Four oclock, dear. - Oh.

- What'll I do till four oclock? - Practice, dear.

- Who's the audition for? - Paul Taylor, Ted Heath's manager.

They're looking for a new singer. Here we are.

'The Mating Call of the Pneumatic Drill'.

Never mind that, where is there a phone?

Top of the stairs.

Yes, but... But...

Oui, qui parle? I mean, who is it?

Oh, hello, Ray.

An audition?

That is wonderful of you, of course I will.

4:30?

And after, I will come up and see you.

Merci mille fois!

Au revoir.

(SINGING SCALES)

Bonjour, Mademoiselle.

All right, no more voice.

No, it's not that. I wondered if you'd

like to come over and have some cafe.

"Nobody dates Georgie Du Bois until we can both stand fully dressed."

- You heard that? - You English talk so loud.

I'll dress and come over.

I no longer have time for cafe, but I brought my tape recorder.

Tape recorder?

Ray said you were speaking about one,

I thought you might like to lend it.

Georgie, you're Santa Claus!

- But I want something in return. - Name it.

My love, my life, my old-age pension.

I want to take a month's option on 'When You Came Along'.

An option?

I'm afraid I can only afford five pounds.

- It is not enough? - Enough?

- Just let me touch it. - It's a bargain?

It's a godsend.

- Are you sure you can afford this? - Just about.

But it is a good investment,

I'm going to an audition.

It is always good to use a new number.

Especially when it is a good new number.

You see, I have faith in it.

You know how to work this?

How can you be so beautiful, so smart, and so rich?

I always eat my spinach, drink my orange juice,

and have plenty of fresh air,

so I don't get pale and sickly.

I can see we'll have to close our window.

Tell you what, why don't we have lunch and celebrate?

To celebrate, it must be the three of us.

- Must be? - Oh certainment!

We celebrate for dinner here, no?

- You want to know something? - Quoi?

The girl I love best isn't really my mother.

Oh no, no, no, no, no!

Here we are.

- Do you know the time? - Five oclock.

- Thank you. Will you excuse me? - Yes, sure.

- Hold the fort, Charles, will you? - Yes, Ray.

They're still there.

- How many is he hearing? - About a dozen.

- Is yours the French one? - Yes.

- She's quite a dish. - She is.

- Mr Taylor seemed to think so too. - Did he, now?

He's an authority on dishes. There you are.

- How do you think you got on? - Oh, not too bad.

That's quite a voice you have there.

Thank you, it sounds better because the number is a good one.

I'd like the old man to hear you.

Could you be at the Decca recording studios

at 6:30 this evening?

- Avec plaisir, si vous voulez. - I certainly do. Bye.

- Georgie! - Ray!

Good for you!

I was just going upstairs to see you.

- So Ted Heath's going to hear you? - He's going to hear more than me,

He's going to hear 'When You Came Along'!

- No! - Yes! I just sent it to Mr Taylor.

You want to watch your step with that character.

He's very kind.

He's also quite an authority on dishes.

- Please? - Thompson!

That's me. Do we meet tonight?

- Yes, we have celebration dinner. - You and me?

No, for celebrate, must be the three of us.

Must be?

Certainment. Now I must hurry. Au revoir.

- Thompson! - Au revoir!

Well, hello there.

We're just about to record. Would you mind waiting a while?

But of course not.

Come and sit in the box. It's more comfortable,

and you'll hear better.

Ignore them, they're peasants.

Dennis, this is Georgie Du Bois.

- Hello. - I want Ted to hear her.

- Good. - Oh, I don't know.

- Anyway, this is the last number. - Oui?

We're running late tonight, and the old man's in a bad mood.

Oh dear, so this is not so good a time?

Any time's a good time if you sing as well as you look.

- Thank you very much. - OK, Ted, we're ready when you are.

All right, let's have a go.

Another rehearsal?

- No, let's have a crack at it. - That's me. Don't go away.

All right, fellas, OK.

- Quiet, please. - Going on the red light.

One, two, three, four, one, two.

# Do you think that I care

# If you're here or you're there?

# If you make up your mind to stay

# Or go?

# Well, I do

# Since a few kisses ago

# Why should I sigh for you

# When there's so many who

# I could probably call when I

# Felt low?

# But I do, since a few kisses ago

# And here was I, poor fool

# Thinking love was for kids at school,

# Just a juvenile game, but oh

# How young can you grow?

# All those charms that you've got

# I could take them or not

# Didn't lose any sleep at all

# Oh no

# But I do, since a few kisses ago

# Only knew just a few kisses ago #

That's it.

OK, fellas, see you tomorrow.

- Ted, I've got the girl here. - Wait a minute, Paul.

To satisfy my own curiosity,

do you really like her voice, or is this to impress the girl?

Just so I know where I stand.

Ted, would I do a thing like that to you?

I'll tell you when I've heard it.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Perhaps I should come back another night.

There's no time like the present, kid.

- Ted, this is Georgie Du Bois. - Very glad meet you, Miss Du Bois.

I also.

Don't be nervous, just sing it the way you did at Fieldings.

Mr Heath, even if you don't like my voice,

I am sure you will like the number.

I hope I like both.

I have a bit of a sore throat.

I'll make allowances for butterflies.

# When you came along

# Your heart was my guiding star

# When you came along, time stopped

# In that magic hour

# All the lovely things that love can do

# Suddenly happened to me

# Then the secret of my dreams

# You at last set free

# When you came along

# My heart thundered like the sea

# When you came along, I knew

# You had come for me

# Every tender word you spoke to me

# Was like a lover's song

# When

# You came along

Could you come to dinner with me? You too, Paul.

Tonight?

If you haven't another appointment.

Well, I do have someone expecting me,

it's very nice of you.

Call him. Who is it, the boyfriend?

Just friends, they wrote this number...

Look, Paul, if Miss Du Bois has a date...

This is more important than a date, isn't it?

- Give me the number. - I don't know the number.

It's 46 Sussex Terrace, Mr Thompson or Mr Millar.

OK, I'll get Mac to find out and phone them.

Don't let him stampede you into a date, we can always talk tomorrow.

No, no, no. It is best while the fire is hot.

Besides, tomorrow you may be hopping even madder.

- I beg your pardon? - Ca ne faire rien.

Pay homage, my friend, to the wonder machine of the age.

You turn that knob and it records,

you turn that one this way and it plays,

turn it that way and it plays backwards.

Isn't that moving?

Listen to those dissonances, those nuances of tone strata.

What would you call that?

I feel 'City of Souls' would be a good title.

- Why? - You have to have reasons?

I'll give you two guesses, what is it?

Bees' Wedding?

Mr Thompson!

Listen, was that on the tape or was there a hooter?

Mr Thompson!

A hooter.

What?

Miss What's Her Name won't be back.

She's having dinner with Mr Heath and Mr Taylor.

Oh, thanks.

Did you hear me?

Yes.

Vodka on the rocks, Arthur.

Mr Heath, anyone who can write a number as good as this one,

- deserves a break. - Whoa, take it easy.

I didn't ask you out to talk about the song,

I was wondering if you'd like to sing

with us at the Royal Performance.

You'll need a bit of polishing, but I think

we can get you right for the 24th.

- Don't you, Paul? - I'm certain of it.

In all London, there can be no fairer table-mate.

When they dine with such beauty, I even talk with musicians.

Georgie, this is Mervyn Wade, he says he's a critic.

He'll want your phone number, and if you let him, he'll become a pest.

- A full biography. - Georgie Du Bois.

- Monsieur. - Monsieur, oh,

haven't been called monsieur since my no-passport trip to Boulogne.

What's cooking on this present menage?

Mervyn, it's a purely personal matter.

If it's problems, give me a call.

I used to be known as the Problem Child.

Au revoir, Miss Du Bois. Gentlemen.

- That was a near-miss. - Mr Heath, I have been thinking.

- And? - I will accept with great honour.

Well, that's fine.

But please, one thing.

May I sing 'When You Came Along'?

Supposing we tie everything up at my office tomorrow.

- Oui? - And now, may I drive you home?

That's very kind, but first I would like to telephone my friends

- to tell them the good news. - Of course.

Down, Paul, down.

Marylebone 2463, it's ringing, miss.

Or is it 2436?

I wouldn't know, miss, but there's no answer.

Perhaps you ought to try 2436.

Or is it 2643?

There are about 28 permutations of those numbers.

Give me the address, I'll check with the directory.

It is 46, Sussex Terrace.

Or it may be 44.

I'm 45, and it's next to me,

but I don't know if it goes up or down.

Look, miss, just go and sit down and

I'll try and work it out by elimination.

Merci, monsieur

45, Sussex Terrace?

Yes, Mr Wade, that's the only thing that's definite.

Thank you. Have a drink on me.

Shut up!

You were snoring.

She's not back yet.

Who cares?

Ken?

This recording backwards, I just can't

believe Fielding's going to fall for it.

No one can really listen to 'D'Ye Ken John Peel?'

backwards and accept it as a new piece of music.

Stop worrying. The world's full of people

who accept things they don't understand.

Do you understand surrealism or cubism?

I don't, but there are a lot of intelligent people who do.

Exactly, so you accept them. They're acclaimed.

Do you want to argue? Life's too short.

But musically, this is nonsense.

Have you ever read Hans Anderson,

the story of 'The Emperor's Clothes'?

Two chaps call on him one day with a suit that didn't exist,

supposed to be a magic suit.

To the wise men, it was a wonderful material,

to the fools, it was invisible.

Everyone pretended they saw it,

and the emperor ran around in the stark.

What's that got to do with us?

We're selling an invisible composer.

All right, Ken, I'll do it.

- You will? - Whatever you want.

I'm sick of wine, women and song.

From now on, I'm prepared to play things backwards,

sideways or upside down.

What's that? I heard a car draw up.

- 10:30 tomorrow. - D'accord.

- And congratulations. - And thank you for everything.

Lili Marlene, lamplight and all.

Entente cordiale!

Hey!

Ken! Are you asleep?

Yes!

I've had a wonderful evening!

I'm sure you have. Ours was rather dull. We had dinner and went to bed.

Sometimes we dine early, sometimes late,

according to who we're waiting for.

But I did try to telephone,

and before that, Mr Taylor telephoned.

Oh yes, we got the message, thank you.

I do hope business was profitable.

Stop shouting across the area!

- Shut up! - Yes, but I...

Now you've woken the baby!

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Qui est la?

I followed you in, I do hope you don't mind.

I'd like to help you with your problem.

Please not now, perhaps tomorrow.

Oh, have a heart. I've a deadline to make. Five minutes?

Ted Heath's told me all about it.

- He told you? - Yes.

All right, but five minutes, please only.

Now...

Why is it a problem?

It is no longer a problem.

I have agreed to sing in four weeks.

But... You're going to sing with Ted Heath?

- You said he told you. - He did, yes.

But he didn't say exactly when though.

I think you get rest from Mr Heath.

There is nothing more I can tell you.

Oh, but there is. Where were you born?

How old are you? Who's your favourite singer?

And what are you doing tomorrow night?

Why don't you go to bed? It's like trying to sleep in the lions' cage.

All right, but let's have some air.

Open the window. To heck with our dignity.

Jumping mackerel! She's got a man in there!

A man!

This isn't Lili Marlene, it's Madame Du Barry!

That looks like Mervyn Wade.

She hasn't wasted much time, has she?

Band leaders, managers, music critics.

All with our song. Let him have it.

All right, turn it off.

Stop it!

Before you say anything, Mr Fielding,

I'd like to ask you a question.

Downstairs, you are selling a recording of

Biff Conti's 'New Concepts of Modern Jazz'.

- I am? - Which shows it's no idle statement

when they say are the acknowledged leader of the nations' music,

because it's up in the top sales.

I haven't seen the sales sheets lately.

You, of course, appreciate its rich vibrant

imagination and its uninhibited spirit.

Of course.

That's why Rimsikoff wrote this letter.

He insisted you were to be the first publisher in Europe to hear

his 'City of Souls'.

The one man he was certain would appreciate the vitality and

contrapuntal quality of the concept.

Yes.

I'd like my professional manager to hear it.

Let's appreciate it in bits, please.

Well?

Well, I don't profess to understand it, but it's, er...

- ..certainly unusual. - There's a man of discernment!

Would you say it has rich, vibrant imagination?

And uninhibited spirit?

I suppose, if you put it like that...

- Who is Rimsikoff? - Who is Rimsikoff?

A name that has echoed through Europe, Africa and Asia.

The name inscribed next to

Shostakovitch, Gradinger and Nijmegen?

Oh, that one.

Well, what do you think?

I suppose it's some sort of connoisseur's gimmick.

But I'd like the arranger to hear it.

The arranger.

Who is Rimsikoff?

- Who is Rimsikoff? - I mean, where is he?

Who does his orchestrations?

This letter's from Italy, but there's no address.

Rimsikoff cuts himself off from the world.

He lives in an almost inaccessible chalet in the Brenner Pass.

- He's a strange, unhappy genius. - Is that some sort of organ

- he's playing? - Never composes on anything else.

To be honest, Guv, if you want that done for

full orchestra, I wouldn't have a clue.

Right, I'll make a deal with you.

A contract, and a down payment on account of royalties

providing Rimsikoff provides the orchestration

Orchestration?

When's the Albert Hall Music Festival?

- In about ten days. - We'll enter this in it.

Get together with the arranger and come

and see me when it's all fixed up.

Hello? Get me Sir Thomas Van Broughton.

You're going to have that played at the Albert Hall?

Listen. Are we, or are we not, the leaders of the nation's music?

Now run along. Yes.

Sir Thomas, this is Bert Fielding here...

Hello, ducks!

That you banging on the window?

Sorry, I was trying to contact Miss Du Bois.

She doesn't live here any more. I'm your new neighbour now.

So if you're having any parties, don't forget me.

We've done it! They all fell for it!

Not one of them had the courage to say it was twaddle!

- She's left. - Eh? Who's left?

Georgie. She's moved out.

Who cares? Did you hear what I said? We've pulled it off!

'City of Souls' goes into the Albert Hall Music Festival!

Goes where?

Look, 100 pounds on account of royalties.

Like falling off a log!

Except when they asked for a full orchestration.

Orchestration? If you think I'm going to--

Relax, relax, I did one.

- You did one? - Call me genius.

I bought a swing record of 'D'Ye Ken John Peel?',

Hired a rehearsal room at Weeks, taped it backwards.

We can throw in a few strings and woodwind.

How did it sound?

Horrible! They loved it.

Didn't they wanna know where you got it so quickly?

I said I arrived home and found the tape waiting for me.

Rimsikoff sent it ordinary mail

insisting that no orchestration but his must be used.

- Whose swing record was it? - Ted Heath's.

Ted Heath's

- No! - Yes.

(DISSONANT ORCHESTRATION)

(TIMID APPLAUSE)

(BIG APPLAUSE)

Meet you by the telephone.

Ken!

Ken!

How's our celebrity? Making plenty of money?

Darling of the critics? Moved into grander quarters?

Please, Ken, why can't we talk like sensible people?

Isn't that what we're doing?

By the way, I've still got your tape recorder.

Where shall I send it to? Dorchester, Claridges, Savoy?

- Whatever you think... - Magnificent!

Listen to that reception! Thank you! Thank you!

Are you connected with that?

Connected with? He's responsible for England hearing the piece at all.

You must cable Rimsikoff at once.

And phone my partner, he'll be surprised.

- Pleasantly surprised. - Did you hear it?

Oh, yes, I don't understand it.

Don't argue, take it down.

I've just been present at the dawn of a new era in tone music.

I've never heard such tripe in my life.

And Rimsikoff has proved that he's the Picasso of modern music.

I can only say, I've never heard anything like it

since the air raid sirens.

Please, gentlemen, please!

Whatever your views on 'City of Souls', at least you'll agree

- it is not a work to be ignored. - Is Rimsikoff coming?

Ladis and gentlemen, you know as much as I do.

His representative has been trying to reach him hourly.

- Have you met him? - Is he married?

- How old is he? - Where does he live?

Please, I'm only the fortunate publisher of his work.

The man to answer your questions

is his personal representative, Mr Ken Millar.

- Where is Rimsikoff? - He's not in Paris.

- They say he's in Rome. - He's not in Rome.

What about his chalet in the Brenner Pass.

Yes, the Brenner Pass.

There's so much snow there, it takes months for a cable to get there.

- Address? - Address? No.

I must respect his confidence,

he's an old man now, and he must lead a quiet life.

It must have been pretty noisy composing this muck!

Disparagement is just another form of ignorance!

And 'City of Souls' is just another form of eyewash!

Too difficult? Try learning music!

Gentlemen, gentlemen!

Please!

Gentlemen, gentlemen!

A letter from Herr Rimsikoff!

"Dear Millar, I wish to be remembered

for my music, and I will remember you for your...

..loyalty.

I can write no more, I am a very old man,

and the last weeks have exhausted me so much,

I can hardly get up the Brenner Pass any more.

Rimsikoff."

# Roseanne!

# Roseanne!

# She was so beautiful

# Hair black as night

# Red beads round her neck so white

# Blood red

# In the hot firelight

# Roseanne! Roseanne!

# Gay and desirable

# She played a game

# Laughing her lover's name

# Her lips

# Like an angry flame

# "I'll dance", she cried, "with you and you

# I'll dance and sing the whole night through"

# But her lover's knife

# Was cold and true

# Roseanne! Roseanne!

# I held her to my heart

# All through the night, red beads round her neck so white

# Blood red

# In the cold firelight!

# Roseanne! Roseanne!

# I held her to my heart all through the night

# Red beads round her neck so white

# Blood red

# In the cold

# Firelight!

Was that better?

Much better, Ted.

- Trumpets loud enough? — Yes, fine.

Do you want to hear them all back, Ted?

- That's a good idea. - OK, I'll rewind the tape.

- How are you doing? - At last, I can do it.

But if I get my heel caught in my dress and can't get up, what then?

We'll all come down and lift you up.

Record in C.

What is that?

Tape's rewinding.

No, what piece of music is it?

'D'Ye Ken John Peel?'

I still think either you're too heavy on Georgie's vocals,

or she's not strong enough.

She is inclined to undersell it.

- Georgie. - Yes?

Don't be scared of the mic. You've see, you've still

got to be heard, and it's a big theatre.

- Bon, d'accord. - Are you all right?

Please, may I talk to you?

I can't think of a single reason why not.

This will sound a very ridiculous story,

but please, you listen right through?

Look, I've got six children, and I've heard more

ridiculous stories than you're ever likely to tell me.

This I don't think, please.

OK, fellas, fifteen minutes.

- What's up, she made a complaint? - Don't look at me.

You're not angry?

I'd have been furious if I'd bought the record.

But what do we do?

- I've got an idea. - An idea?

I wonder where we can find Mervyn Wade this evening?

Frank, give me some manuscripts.

- Hello, Mervyn. - Georgie!

- I'm sorry to interrupt. - Please, not at all, do sit down.

Two beautiful girls, my stock's going to go up.

Oh, Georgie, this is, er...

Really, you'd think I didn't know her name...

- Georgie Du Bois. - Henrietta.

- That's right, dear. - Enchantee.

Mervyn, would you do something for me?

My dear girl, I've been trying to for over a month.

This has got to be delivered to Ken Millar,

you see, Ted's arranger did some orchestrations for him,

and you are to collect 25 pounds on account

before you hand this over in cash.

You're mad! This is no time to get out.

We've never been in better shape!

We've cleared our debts, you've still got a job,

and I can walk into any publisher and get listened to.

Now, we start selling our numbers.

Until someone taps you on the shoulder and says, "Rimsikoff?"

He'll die next week, we'll get a cable saying

he's fallen down a crevasse, anything. Then, finito.

Yes, well, I don't want to be here for finito.

- Where are you going? - Australia.

I'll get a job on the rocket range, it's safer.

There's absolutely no reason why anyone should ever know...

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

- Who is it? - It's Mervyn Wade

- Can I see you for a minute? - Mervyn Wade? Why's he here?

Get rid of that. Hello! Just a minute!

I'm afraid I've rather an unpleasant task to perform.

I've come to relieve you of some money.

- Money? - Yes, I was asked to give you this.

- It's from Ted Heath's arranger. - Ted Heath's arranger?

I'm afraid I have to collect 25 pounds before I leave it.

- 25 pounds! - Yes, in cash.

What's all this about, Mervyn?

I'm sure you know more about it than I do.

I hope I don't, but I think I do.

So this is where you cook it all up, eh?

Pay him.

Look, Mervyn, if we give you the 25 pounds, is that the end of it?

Oh no, that's only a down payment.

I presume you boys went into this with your eyes open.

Thank you. Oh well,

so long.

See you on the hit parade.

You realise, of course, he can blackmail us for ever?

You've got an assistant rocket ranger.

I never thought it'd happen to me.

I suppose this is full of pages from

the telephone directory or something.

- Holy doodle! - What's the matter?

It's a manuscript by Georgie Du Bois.

By Georgie? What is this, a gag?

It's no gag, it's a piano copy of 'D'Ye Ken John Peel?'.

Correct, a piano copy of 'D'Ye Ken John Peel?'.

And there is nothing you can do to me.

I've simply reversed a little epic called 'City of Souls'

and there is nothing wrong with that.

- Or is there? - What else do you want from us?

You own our best song, and now you've got our 25 pounds.

Which shows you are really very unsmart. I don't own your number.

I took a month's option on it. After that, it reverted to you.

What sort of businessmen are you?

I wonder Herr Rimsikoff trusts you!

(BIG BAND MUSIC)

# When you came along

# Your heart was my guiding star

# When you came along

# Time stopped in that magic hour

# All the lovely things that love can do

# Suddenly happened to me

# Then the secret of my dreams

# You at last set free

# When you came along

# My heart thundered like the sea

# When you came along

# I knew you had come for me

# Every tender word you spoke to me

# Was like a lover's song

# When you came along

# When you came along

# My heart thundered like the sea

# When you came along

# I knew you had come for me

# Every tender word

# You spoke to me

# Was like a lover's song

# When you came

# Along!

(BIG APPLAUSE)

You realise they're applauding my number?

Arise, Sir Thompson!

Oh, hello.

Hello, we thought you were wonderful.

Wonderful? She gave off a vibrant glow that warmed us all over!

You make her sounds like a paraffin burner.

We'd like to accept these with our congratulations, thanks, apologies,

and a very humble request for your company at dinner tonight.

Oh, I'm sorry,

- I have a date. - You have a date? Oh.

- Some other time, perhaps. - Yes, some other time.

Stay and have a drink anyway.

Some other time.

Dear, dear, dear.

Nevertheless, that was quite an evening.

Quite an evening.

Obviously had a date with Musical Mervyn.

Probably going steady with him.

In case you're interested, I intend to get stinko.

Move over.

(CLANK ON WINDOW)

- Who's that? - Wind.

(CLANK ON WINDOW)

That's not wind!

- I stole a towel! - Georgie!

Are two reformed characters talking to a third reformed character?