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KABILAN...

A WRITER WHO BELIVES THAT...

HIS READERS SHOULD ONLY FEEL WHAT HE FEELS THROUGH HIS WRITING

2003 AD

KABILAN DECIDED TO WRITE A BOOK ON THE LIFE OF A CRIMINAL WHO'S IN JAIL

THE CRIMINAL BEAUTIFIES HIS MURDERS RATHER THAN RATIONALIZING HIS ACTIONS

THE CRIMINAL'S NAME -JAGADEESH

JAGADEESH DOES NOT SPEAK ABOUT MURDERS TO KABILAN

INSTEAD HE SPEAKS ABOUT PHASES THAT MADE HIS LIFE BEAUTIFUL

THE BEAUTIFIED PHASES IN THE BOOK MAKES KABILAN AND HIS READERS FEEL AS JAGADEESH

THOSE PHASES IN THE BOOK TRANSFORMS KABILAN AND HIS READERS INTO JAGADEESH

THE MOMENT WHEN KABILAN AND HIS READERS IMAGINE THEMSELVES AS JAGADEESH...

WHILE READING ABOUT THE MURDERS HE COMMITTED

BAYAMARIYA BRAMMAI (FEARLESS DELUSION)

THE STORY IS AN UNEVENTFUL JOURNEY THROUGH THE BOOK

ATTENTION IS NECESSARY TO CONTINUE THE JOURNEY

"How did you enter into the world of my grey dreams?"

"No matter how many times..."

"The web of death is erased, as the spider weaves it again and again..."

"As the sight of the trapped prey in agony, makes you tremble..."

"But I get lost in all the creativity that I see in the beauty of it..."

"letting it take over my soul."

"Those who come to my pond to quench their thirst..."

"Nice and slow, I draw them in."

"All that remains are bubbles that remind me of my love."

"Those bubbles know that they don't last long..."

"Yet they bubble up again and again..."

"Again and again..."

"Again and again."

[locking]

[footsteps retreating]

[electrical door opening]

[door closing]

Shall we begin?

Why so many murders...

in these 25 years?

"The Pinnacle."

Did you really need so many pages to tell this story?

Is it some kind of anger...

on the society; to take revenge on it?

I heard this is your masterpiece?

It's a book that won the Sahitya Akademi.

It could have been even more crispier.

Fine...

Let's discuss about the murders you committed.

For you they are just mere stories.

But for me...

Oh!

You think committing murders and writing stories are the same?

Definitely not.

What you write and what I did...

definitely are not the same.

Then tell me, why?

96 murders.

In 25 years

96... 25...

All these are mere numbers.

When did your first book get published, Kabilan?

When I was 22 years old.

In 1987.

"Nitchalanam" (The still waters)

That was my first creation.

So, what about all that you wrote before?

I don't keep any count.

In 1978...

To quote you... "That was my first creation".

It is not same as releasing a book.

I didn't plan it out.

That murder took place in the heat of the moment.

Hey! What are you doing?

Don't give me that stare!

Get lost!

Get lost!

That was the day...

I met Maran for the first time.

It was for Maran...

I took responsibility for the murders I committed...

and now I'm in prison.

Must have been ecstasy for you.

Isn't it?

Your first creation.

Wasn't it for you, when your first book came out?

-You're again and again... -Every murder I committed...

It was all creation for me.

Creation?

Doesn't look like that to me.

I mean the murders that you committed...

I don't see any art in it.

That's why you missed it in your book.

I missed it?

In my book?

"This book..."

"Will open up the hearts of the people..."

"And wake up the soul of this society."

Yes.

How can a book possibly do it?

When every reader...

lose themselves in the book...

it becomes possible.

But then, in your book...

I couldn't fit myself in there and get lost in it. Why?

Jagadish!

You shouldn't try to fit...

yourself.

That's how my readers do it.

Don't try to escape giving such a lame excuse, Kabilan.

See, Jagadish...

I, the author, matter the most for the readers.

My words...

My perspective...

My solutions...

In fact...

they don't even know who you are.

Presenting you to them...

That's where I come in.

That's the current plight here.

That's a pity plight.

-My readers... -Call them your fans!

You can say that too.

My readers or...

my fans.

In my story...

they only see me in it.

They take my shape.

They become me.

In reality and...

every time.

So...

don't you worry

I'll present you...

alive... completely... and safely...

to the audience.

As Kabilan or...

as myself, Jagadish?

If...

Kabilan decides to become Jagadish...

you could've never avoided Maran.

Maran!

He is the beginning of my story.

AS FAR A FATHER...

Where are you, Jagadish?

I want to meet you.

'Where are you, Jagadish?'

'I want to meet you.'

Do not have second thoughts. Finish him off.

Or else your family will be at risk.

Were you waiting for a long time, Jagadish?

Are we resuming something?

From the beginning?

This could be a beginning of the perfect ending.

A good one...

A new one...

I'd be happy to begin something like that.

All I worry about is...

you and...

-and your kids -I'll take care of my kids.

I know how to do it.

It's a dangerous situation, Jagadish.

Nothing should get out of our hands.

I feel that you're putting yourself through too much for me.

All that I can do is only what I am doing.

What is left to conquer?

Why do I still have you by my side?

I haven't thought that far about you.

And I have never required that...

or never have I ever cared about it.

Let's part ways.

For good!

Let's not cross each other's path.

Forever, hereafter.

If that's what you want...

then so be it.

But it's impossible to escape from the clutches of the police, Jagadish

I'll take care of that.

I shall ensure everything goes smooth.

Please give up... for my sake.

The moment I felt we must part ways...

rest of everything is unnecessary.

I am not expecting anything.

And such a situation is not something I'm familiar with.

All that I'm unable to tell you...

Things that I hate telling you...

is written in the form of words, in this diary.

Maran...

let this be our last meeting.

Radio: Greetings. The time now is 10:31 am.

Radio: Reading out the news is Saroj Narayanswamy.

Radio: No improvements yet in the chain of murder cases in Pondicherry.

Radio: Meanwhile, a corpse was found out there in a crowded place...

Radio: and the police are inquiring if it is a murder or an accident.

Wondering how to finish me off, right?

Don't worry...

I'm not a cop...

or your enemy.

Nor am I someone close to the person your murdered.

It was something very silly that you were negligent about...

but there is a big catch hidden in it.

Have it.

If not for me, you'd have been caught today.

Would you like to work for me?

You can live life in your own good terms.

Your techniques...

and my strategies, let them unite!

And then wait and watch!

Have it.

MARAN

Tally the other accounts and get me.

You may leave.

I saw the police standing outside.

You called them, right?

Fine, tell me.

For you, what are the charges I must agree to the police?

Those four of them?

Or all the murders?

I'm doing it for your good!

For your good!

I don't know whether it's for my good or not.

But...

we both are in it.

I feel guilty.

But I am not.

I don't feel anything like that.

Tell me now...

What should I do?

I feel I must do something for you, for one last time.

A new...

and a fresh...

beginning. What do you say?

Definitely!

Even now, this is your decision Maran.

AS A FATHER,

ALONG WITH ME, IN THIS JOURNEY SO FAR...

I BELIEVE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND...

YOU ARE ALWAYS THE KEY TO EVERY NEW CHAPTER IN MY LIFE

Do you at least see it now?

But still...

it's a murder, isn't it?

So what?

So what about the woes of the deceased?

It perished along with him.

Kabilan, you are standing outside the cave.

You are afraid to step in.

What if...

I get stuck in there forever.

Did you experience any loss?

Oh! Sure!

My freedom.

My children.

Maran.

But all my loss was already decided by me.

You could've spared Maran's life.

Even after knowing your loss...

They why?

My techniques...

and the strategies I learned from him...

put together was an art piece.

Maran was the perfect fit!

It was a wonder that I never expected.

But what you lost because of that...

was a beautiful relationship.

But look what I attained...

An even better...

piece of art, isn't it?

You are a hardcore narcissist!

You're again and again...

using a shield called humanity, Kabilan.

What if in the near future...

a law is passed, banning you from writing for a year?

What would you do?

Why are you turning off the light?

Are you happy about it or not?

Brother...

hope boss will pay us salary every month, on time.

Salary for a full year, that too for sitting idle.

Awesome!

Brother...

How about we plan for a long trip?

What do you say?

Let's go on a trip and have fun.

Let's go on a vacation. It'll be fun!

Awesome!

Will take Dhanam along, go to some hill station...

and play Illayaraja's song and have fun.

It'll be awesome!

Dhanam.

Why are you so pissed off?

You heard our boss!

The police are poking their nose too much in our business.

What's the big deal?

Can't you stay murder free for a year?

I'm talking to you! Say something!

Can't you be quiet for a year?

What does this mean?

Speed up a bit.

Why are you driving so slow?

I'm in quite a happy mood!

Speed up!

Just rip! The road's empty as far as I can see. Look!

-Turn off the light -Faster! Faster!

Turn off the light.

-But why? -Just turn it off.

Just be quiet.

You stay inside. I'll deal with him.

Greetings officer!

What's up?

So, your duty is here tonight?

Come again.

I asked if you're duty is here tonight.

Screw you! Why do you care?

Where are you guys coming from?

Sir, we are returning from our office.

-From office? -Yes, sir.

Unbelievable! Jobless idiots working late in office.

And I work here to service them!

Where the hell is your office?

Come on, sir. We are coming from Maran sir's office.

I don't give a shit whom you work for or whose dick you suck!

Sign this register.

Do it.

You, idiot! Can't you hear me?

Won't your ass get off from the seat?

Damn it! Step out, I say!

You're nothing but pain in our asses!

Write down the vehicle registration number and then sign it!

What's with him? Why does that dick head look so stiff?

Where did you find him?

What the hell are you looking around?

Come here and sign the register, you idiot!

Sign it and come.

Who the hell are you to call me names?

-Why are you getting furious at me? -Not you! This idiot!

-Hey! -You...

Hey, no! What's wrong with you?

Hey! Listen to me!

Hey, no! What's wrong with you?

Uh-oh, come on! Stop acting crazy!

Listen to me!

Can't you hear me?

No! Stop it!

What the hell!

Listen, let's leave!

Uh-oh! Looks like he's gone!

Look, he's dead!

Look! Listen to me!

Look! Please!

Listen...

Boss, he's dead!

Look! Listen to me. Go and sit in the car.

Control your anger! Go!

I'll dispose his corpse and come. Go!

You heard me!

Go, sit in the car.

Just go and sit in the car.

Go. Just get in the car!

Bloody!

Bloody foul mouth! He asked for it.

Dead now, aren't you?

Stay right there. I'll be back.

What got into you?

This is new for you.

I feel something's wrong!

Fine, forget it.

Murdering is not new for us.

Relax.

But one thing...

That dick head managed to rile a calm person like you!

Hello.

Can I speak to Jagadish?

Sure.

Put him on the call.

Boss.

It's about the cop.

Hello.

I won't confront you for murdering that cop.

But let this be the last time.

Hope only you and Kathir are at the office.

Fine.

Finish him off.

Do not have second thoughts.

Or else your family will be at risk.

Kathir...

clean the bathroom.

Where is the gun?

During those days when I was in distraught...

Felt like something close to me was snatched away.

I didn't expect it.

In fact...

the reason why my anger shifted on to Maran...

and the reason why my final master plan was executed against him...

It was because...

You snapped.

Yes, I snapped.

I snapped.

That is why.

I never give up on anything that matters to me.

Never!

For nobody!

You could have over looked your principles for Kathir.

I wished so.

But never made that call.

If, by chance, he was alive...

it could've happened.

Wasn't that your decision to make?

No! No!

It's got to do with my professional ethics

I always follow that.

He deserved to live.

Poor guy.

Died so young.

He decided to die very soon, right?

Thanks for exposing a heart-less demon to me!

Sorry.

I crossed my limits, didn't I?

You got too emotional.

For Kathir.

That's okay.

You very well know it wasn't for Kathir.

Even I know it.

Threats and attacks from people like you...

is something I don't care about.

Let me tell you about a small incident.

Kathir and I had planned to murder an auditor.

It was around 1:30 am.

We jumped into his compound.

Then through the roof...

we reached near his bedroom.

I had a plan set up to murder him.

Kathir peeped through his bedroom window...

and quickly rushed to me.

I asked him what happened?

He said "The auditor was having sex with his wife".

"Let him finish then we shall take care of him."

We were running out of time.

Still we waited for say around 15 minutes.

He peeped into his room again.

He came back and was looking confused.

I didn't ask him anything either.

Then about 10 minutes later...

he just went inside...

finished off the auditor and returned.

I asked "What was that all about?"

"He will take the whole night, brother."

He said that with a cool attitude.

See...

my relationships were never within my control.

And I too was never within their control.

Children could have changed you.

I mean if you had spent time with them.

Because of Maran...

I was gradually losing few things.

My children made me realize that.

Haven't you guys slept yet?

Come on. It's bed time.

Yazhini, enough playing games.

Cut ties with your children and come off, Jagadish.

Only if you break ties with them...

we can fulfill the purpose of our profession.

Sorry! Sorry!

Nothing happened. It was just a mistake.

I'm talking to you.

What's with the stare, dude?

Stop staring!

Boss, look at this fellow! He's staring at me.

Step out! Step out!

Look. A truck is approaching.

-Let go of me. -Let's shove him under truck.

Move! Move!

You could have avoided murdering those four guys.

No way!

The fear that I thought I had overcome during childhood...

is what they pointed out saying I still had it.

Then how could have I spared them?

You were in a comfortable situation.

No...

You made it comfortable.

Don't try to fit me in to being normal.

All my situations were contradictory.

I made myself fit into it.

That's all.

Still, you could've spare those four.

The heroism inside you...

The fear you had in childhood...

All these attracted you.

That's where...

your downfall began.

The moment that trapped you...

I mean the beginning...

That particular moment when you left the house...

and...

abandoned your children.

The techniques and strategies of the time!

Out the 96 murders I committed...

I am now punished only for those four.

I committed murders back to back.

But as you said...

was it fate...

or...

my contradictions?

I really don't know.

But...

I was constantly yearning.

All it ended up doing was ruin and destroy your life!

Not just yours, Jagadish...

but also the lives of your loved ones.

Whatever I do...

I didn't want it to affect my loved ones.

That is why I lived a dual life.

The murders I committed...

and the interest I had in them...

At any cost I didn't want my family to find out about it.

But that particular day...

changed everything.

Jagadish...

A dog came under my car on my way home.

The dog owner made a big fuss.

I had to put the dog in the car and then return after admitting it in a clinic.

My dress was covered with it's blood. It was disgusting!

Come on, dear...

you're leaving without saying even a word?

You said it and I heard it.

Let go of me.

You're into something...

and you're hiding it from me, isn't it?

There is nothing of that sort, dear.

Then tell me the truth! Where were you?

Stop talking like that, dear.

Please!

Don't touch me.

I can understand when you lie!

You're into something really wrong.

That too for a long time now.

Fine...

I don't have the necessity to know what you're doing.

I don't care about it, be whatever it may be.

I won't trust a word you say hereafter.

Just leave me.

Come on, dear.

Don't say such things.

Please.

You don't look normal at all.

What's your point now?

Huh?

Look...

Don't you imagine things and torture me!

Right! It's all my imagination.

To trust you and to have lived with you till now, everything's my imagination!

And it's time I find out the reality.

You have been cheating me for a long time now.

No, I was getting cheated by you for a long time.

You're doing something wrong...

Then do one thing...

find out what's that.

Okay?

Whom are you sleeping with?

You are the only woman in my life!

Even if I can't prove it to you!

That's how I am!

That's the truth!

That's all I need!

If you still don't believe me...

Stab and put me down with this.

[knife slits] [metal clanging]

Tell me the truth.

Where were you?

Then just leave me and my children!

Don't drag our children while making your decisions!

When do you meet your kids?

I don't see them anymore.

Good.

-Two daughters, right? -Please!

Let's not discuss about my kids.

Jagadish...

I write stories for the sake of my children too.

I mean...

Art...

It's like handling children.

No...

It goes beyond the sentiments we have for them.

In fact...

After Maran's death, I wanted to settle down with my children...

forget that path I took...

and go on a new journey with them.

I wanted to quit everything...

and start a new life in a place where no one could find me.

What possesses us...

won't let go of us so easy.

Nor did I expect that.

The addiction in what I did...

the interest I had for it...

the taste for it...

the fragrance in it...

It was always around me.

Did you ever think of coming out of it?

Why should I?

After coming out, what kind of life would I live?

Also, all those things I said took me into a whole another life.

A safe...

Flourishing and reputed life.

I never went in search of relationships.

It all happened to me.

Which is why when relations worn off, I just kept moving on.

Was it the same for them too?

I never gave it a thought.

If you had...

then as an artist...

you would have risen to the next level.

What's the so called 'Next level?'

Like in your stories?

Not every reader can walk in my shoes, Kabilan.

At some places, only I fit in.

Stop!

Jagadish!

Screw you!

Let go of me!

What's up, Selvam? Looks like you're the new mole in the town?

Sorry, Jagadish. I didn't intend to.

Hands off me! You are the reason for all this!

Keep it back inside.

Isn't this your first day?

I got this.

How far can he run?

Jagadish, I'll leave the town for good.

Stop talking to this idiot!

Take me to Maran. I'll talk to him.

He will understand me. Just give me a chance.

You want to talk to Maran?

What will you talk to him? He is the one, who wants you dead.

Told you to stop talking unnecessarily.

-Just do what I say! -Come on, man!

My bladder is bursting. I need to take a leak.

Jagadish, give me half an hour, please.

-Boss will understand my situation. -Told you, my bladder's bursting!

You need half an hour more?

Killing you is the first priority!

Half an hour?

-What can do you in half an hour? -Jaga, please.

Do you think there's a chance Maran will forgive him?

Like that's gonna happen! Duh!

Get down, you...

Do we really gotta struggle so much for him?

Kathir, first put him in the car. Then we shall discuss.

You heard him! Now get down.

Okay, Selva...

half an hour!

Kathir, to the car.

What the crap?

Let's finish him off and get done with it!

Why are you dragging this shit?

Enough!

-Come on!Get down! -Get down!

Get down!

Move!

Hands off me!

You fool!

Watch out! He might get away!

Phew! Finally, I feel so light.

What did you do?

How can I leave him alone? What if he escapes when I go to pee?

So, I finished him off.

Get inside the car.

Take the body inside office.

Brother, you mean all by myself?

Ask Selva for help?

Come on, stop kidding now.

If you hadn't murdered him, he'd have walked with us to the office. No?

Gosh! True.

That's why I gave him the half an hour.

Lift him.

Now, what?

Two minutes.

Brother! Hey! Come on!

Come on now.

Why do you get pissed off often?

Damn, he's a pain in the ass!

Oh damn!

We don't have much time. Lift him.

Hey! Wait.

You should have thought this through before stabbing him. Now, lift!

Who knew he'd be so fucking heavy?

Jerk!

Come on, lift.

Looks like I'm the only one doing the lifting.

Is this where it all happens?

Hey!

Looks superb!

Relax and stay here

I'll go check downstairs.

Okay.

[chain saw whirring]

Boss, all I did was just touch with it.

And the blood started to squirt out.

It's quite sharp!

Remove your clothes!

The 'next level'...

was always my beginning.

All those deaths caused by me so far...

the way I relished all those deaths...

and the artistic approach I had towards it...

I could realize all of it fading away slowly.

I knew that whatever I do from here on will never attain fulfillment.

Hence, it all began for me from Maran...

and so I decided to end it with Maran.

I murdered him.

The result of that last murder...

is why you and your readers are here...

and so am I.

Don't be so proud of yourself.

You aren't worthy of it.

And the people, whom you underestimate aren't foolish either.

You slipped at very critical and important places.

Look here...

I was just discussing the series of incidents in my life...

I am not talking about that.

The fulfillment you failed to achieve in your art.

All the attributes that you missed in your relationships.

Maran...

Wife...

Kids...

they all are the prize I won for my perfection.

Or it was their innocence that let you be perfect.

They aren't as good artist as you are.

Not even for once they'd have thought about losing you.

You see...

I am not the sole reason for the downfall of my life.

That doesn't matter Jagadish.

Of all the forms that you noticed in the story...

didn't you notice humanity as one of them?

It became a part of you, worshipped you...

and was your slave.

They were so innocent that they even bore the blood stench on you.

You never took that in to account.

Each and everyone made sacrifices for you.

Everything around you...

had love and emotions.

Do you think all that you hear are just noise?

You sacrificed so much for the art.

And for those loved ones and those who loved you...

if you had killed the art...

then as an artist...

you'd have gone beyond that.

You sacrificed so much for the art.

And for those loved ones and those who loved you...

if you had killed that art...

then as an artist...

you'd have gone beyond that.

What's wrong with you?

Leave!

Wait, dear...

I'll explain everything.

Step out!

They are nothing but a pain in the ass!

What's with that stare? Sign it!

Leave

(FEARLESS DELUSION)

TO MY MASTER MARAN, WHO TRANSFORMED ME

I am very happy.

I didn't expect this at all.

"Here..."

"In my dreams made of ashes..."

"As the blood freezes..."

"The only thing flowing now are my words."

"As I fill up the pages with my pain and sufferings..."

"It's all set now..."

"For the curtain to be raised."

"A new story will begin."

Title: BAYAMARIYA BRAMMAI (FEARLESS DELUSION)