Original subtitles

Between 1975 and 1990, there was a long civil war in Lebanon,

which resulted in many consequences and stories.

This movie is based on one of these stories.

The war was mainly between two forces, the extremist Christian party,

which was mainly composed of the Lebanese Kataeb Party

and the Lebanese Forces, which emerged from said party.

This right wing party has allied itself with Israel.

The other side consists of communist, socialist and nationalist forces,

which formed the Lebanese National Movement,

which allied with the Palestine Liberation Organization.

The year 1982 was a major turning point in this war,

when the Israelis invaded Lebanon

with the help of their allies, the Christian extreme right.

Bashir Jamil, head of the Lebanese Forces, was assassinated,

and most of the PLO forces left Lebanon.

The civil war ended in 1990, and the government issued

a general amnesty for all those who participated in the war.

They haven't cleaned the lens. I can't seem to get the lens clean.

This is just like Zahle's streets.

Zahle is a bit narrower.

We're going to the Faculty of Science.

Maryam is going to join us.

We're going to have problems.

I won't answer back if she says anything.

I don't feel like getting beat up by her.

I prefer if you would separate our shoots.

I don't want us to be in the same scene.

I didn't wage the war alone,

or killed 150 thousand Lebanese or Palestinians,

and it wasn't me who kidnapped 17 thousand people.

I feel that to you, the story is a film or a photograph.

"We shot an amazing scene."

But it takes me two weeks to go back to my normal self.

The past takes over me, leading to stress and sleepless nights.

In 2002, when you made certain confessions…

2000.

What was the context?

I came to the conclusion that what I did during the war was awful.

I can't keep this secret to myself.

I'm not a skilled writer in Arabic.

I went into my office, closed the door and started writing.

It all burst out at once.

I showed it to Marie. She asked me what I was going to do with it.

I told her that I wanted to air it.

I was certain of the conclusion I came to,

that I would become a worse criminal if I kept this story to myself.

Did you try to kill people?

Of course, it was my job to do exactly that.

What ways did you use to kill?

Either by bombing, shooting in point-blank range, or poisoning.

May I ask you a question, if that's possible?

After you heard about the people I've killed,

what is your impression of me?

It's hard to imagine.

It's even hard for me to imagine.

I will read it, but it has two mistakes.

I was born in 1955, my age isn't 55.

My age would be 56.

I wasn't second-in-command in the Forces.

What were you second-in-command in?

In the Forces' intelligence,

not the Lebanese Forces.

The Lebanese Forces don't even have a second-in-command.

My name is Asaad Chaftari, I'm 56 years old.

I was part of the Civil War.

I was second-in-command in security.

I did everything one can do during the war,

killing, kidnapping, and car bombing.

THE MISSING PERSON

-Maryam. -Yes, dear?

-Where are you from? -Why are you asking?

Where did you spend your childhood?

Between Beirut and the South.

Was your family Shi'a?

The Saeedy family are Shi'a,

although I don't like to confine myself to a certain group.

Where in the South?

The district of Tyre.

-Where exactly? -The district of Tyre.

What is the name of village?

I don't want to delve too far into the past, Elyan.

I don't want…

Wasn't your childhood in Jouaiyya a happy one?

Ask me about the present, all questions about what's happening now.

Ok, I'm going to tell you about your family.

-Your dad is an artist-- -No.

He does Architectural drawings.

Yes, my dad draws.

He passed on his drawing skills to you?

Your mom was ill.

I'm afraid there's nothing much left to say.

The sun is set, Maryam.

Against us the bloody flag of tyranny is raised

The bloody flag is raised

The bloody flag is raised

Do you hear, in the countryside?

The roar of those ferocious soldiers?

Hassan Shawki.

Shawki Hassan.

Do you blame yourself for what happened at that moment?

Are you asking about losing Maher?

Yes.

I shouldn't have gone up the building when he told me so.

I should have asked him and stayed behind a bit with the rest of the guys.

To organize our withdrawal and fighting front strategies.

Because I was responsible for people's lives.

What made you join the Communist party?

I was 18 years old.

We were dreaming of change.

I was convinced of the Communist practices.

All young men at that time owned firearms.

What was the battle at that time--

There were privileges for Maronite Politics in the country.

We were against that orientation.

The Kataeb Party and the Lebanese Front.

The country's interior project was associated directly with Israel.

The militarization was built on Israeli grounds and support.

Against us the bloody flag of tyranny is raised

The bloody flag is raised

The bloody flag is raised

Do you hear, in the countryside?

The roar of those ferocious soldiers?

They

To cut the throats of your sons your comrades

To arms, citizens

Form your battalions

Let's march

And shed their impure blood

To run in our fields

How is it going?

I was born during the French Mandate.

In 1926.

Lebanon was still under the authority of the French Mandate.

Do you remember the French?

Of course, I remember them really well.

I remember the French national anthem word by word

Arise, children of the Fatherland

The day of victory has come

Against us the bloody flag of tyranny is raised

The bloody flag is raised

The bloody flag is raised

This anthem makes me emotional.

-Yes, I got emotional. -Why?

I feel that at the time of the French Mandate,

there was more authority than there is now.

Auntie, they call you Um Asaad?

Sometimes.

It's uncommon to be called by the eldest son.

Do you remember the day Asaad was born?

It was the best day of our lives.

We had been praying for three years to conceive a child.

She gave birth at Dr. Fouad Trad's hospital,

on Mexico Street.

We were thrilled, and he was very happy, especially when it was a boy,

-He was thrilled that it was a boy. -Yes, he was very happy.

Dr. Trad.

What was Asaad like as a child?

He was adorable.

He enjoyed dancing a lot when he was little.

The credit goes to his mom for teaching him so much

before he was ever enrolled in school.

In which school did you enroll him?

I first enrolled him in the Sainte Famille School.

-With the girls? -Yes, with the girls.

Why do you think he joined the Kataeb Party?

He was defending himself, we were defending ourselves.

Wolves invaded the country.

Wolves invaded the country

They are here, yes here

Wolves invaded the country

The time for dancing and indifference is over

True.

The time for dancing and indifference is over

The time for dancing and indifference is over. That's true.

He was a guy that strived to defend his homeland.

It was going to become a Palestinian area.

We were afraid that they would occupy the country.

It was--

Lebanon was heavenly.

I had Muslim friends in Frere's school

who were dearer to me than some of the Christian ones.

We usually spent the summer with our very close Druze friends.

We would spend the summer with them,

and they would come over to us in winter.

The Druze.

-Dad, I don't remember any of this. -What?

I don't remember that the Druze would come over.

Farhan Shuhaib came over and brought us--

He came once to make sure that we would still be his tenants.

There wasn't a friendly bond.

You didn't have relations with Muslims.

Maryam, who is in that picture?

That's me before Maher was born.

-Was it your wedding day? -It was my engagement.

How old were you?

A little over 15 years old.

Did you marry someone you love?

You insist to ask these kinds of questions?

It was an escape from reality.

Why isn't your husband in the picture?

Yeah, I cut him out of it.

-What do you mean? -I cut him out of the picture.

The same way I cut him out of my life.

The situation became intolerable after Maher went missing.

I couldn't take it anymore. I was tired at home and outside.

I made up my mind to leave the father of my children

and I told him if there was an agreement between us then it's invalid now.

I focused on Maher's issue,

and taking care of the rest of my children, Maher's siblings.

Where is Asaad?

Who is Asaad?

What a question.

What do you know about your father?

Absolutely nothing. Nothing

Doesn't he tell you about himself?

He does, but you have to force it out of him.

You've been doing it for 24 years, but it's been more than 30 years for me.

So, what's the solution?

Not asking, right?

He'll talk whenever he feels like it.

Was he always like this?

I'm still trying…

I still haven't given up.

Ellie, what do you try to know from him but still cannot?

The things that only he knows.

Simply put, the things only he knows.

I don't know if he can tell me about it.

What is he like now?

What do you mean?

He's very positive.

Very emotional and positive.

Emotional?

Maybe he's not emotional with you.

Maybe.

What are the things he does that bother you,

and would prefer he wouldn't do?

He keeps on apologizing.

It's going to be the end of him.

He gives too many apologies.

I feel like once is enough.

There is no need to get into details.

-I'm with Ellie on this. -Saying sorry once is enough.

There's no need for all that.

He never talks, but when it comes to apologies,

he wants to make up for everything he was silent about.

There's no need for all that.

I heard that when they first took Maher and his friends

out of the Faculty of Science.

The forces took them to an old house close to the Faculty of Science.

So, I don't know if this is the house.

It even looks like prison.

I still wonder if Maher is kept here to this day,

or if he got out.

People think that Maher has been missing for 27 years.

That I must have let it go.

On the contrary,

I'm always imagining him being tortured.

Thinking that he's being beaten up or shot,

or being hit with an axe,

how his blood is dripping as he's lying down, sitting, or dangling.

Where is he?

Good morning.

-How are you doing? -Welcome.

What are we going to do?

Do you know him?

Of course, it is Archbishop Gregoire Haddad.

I know him very well.

When I was in charge of the intelligence department

in the Lebanese Forces Party,

and until a certain period,

we viewed him as a threat to us as Christians.

I still am.

I collected some intelligence about you.

We sent people to spy on you.

They would go into the association that you were in.

We also used one of your meetings,

to plant a microphone in your office for a brief period.

Do you still have the recording?

I wish.

Who was a Christian traitor at that time?

Anybody that we feel is being a bit empathetic towards Palestinians,

Muslims, the left-wing party,

or anything of the kind.

Those were the "bad Christians."

We had some models of the clergymen

who were the ones holding up the flag in our battles.

They were also the ones leading the way

through their speeches and reverence,

talking to the military before certain battles.

Gregoire was given the title "Red Bishop" by the Church at the time.

Honestly, he was horrible.

But he didn't have blood on his hands.

-I have no blood on my hands. -No, there's blood on your hands.

Really? I didn't know that.

You played the role of the investigator, the executioner,

the death penalty executor, and the judge, all at the same time.

If you want, I can give him the answer to all his past.

I want that.

-Can we videotape it? -I would rather not.

This is between me, our master and the Lord who shall be with us.

I didn't consider myself Arab at all,

I believed that the Phoenicians evolved and became Christians.

I had advantage over the others for being a Phoenician.

Do you consider yourself responsible for everything that you did?

I wasn't drafted in a forced conscription.

It was a personal decision.

And in every moment throughout that long journey,

I was able to quit and go back home.

I believed that everything I had done during the war

was never wrong.

Even the guy I killed with my own hands,

I refused to kill him until I made sure he was guilty.

He was loyal to an opposing Palestinian organization.

I was forced to kill him.

Killing him was a deed to prove my loyalty,

and prove to the groups I order that I have blood on my hands too.

I was asked to stab him.

How did you feel after that?

This is what surprises me.

I didn't feel anything.

Do you remember what he looked like?

Not at all, not even an image.

-What about his name? -Of course not.

-The look of his eyes? -I don't remember at all.

I remember that I attacked him from the back, not the front,

maybe not to see his face.

And then?

-I don't remember. -After you attacked him from the back?

I don't remember.

-Did you stab him in the stomach, neck… -I don't remember. I don't know.

He would stand like an eagle.

His eyebrows would be interlocked like an eagle.

He emitted power.

The first week that I found out that I was pregnant with Maher,

I started drawing images of him in my head.

He looked exactly like the child I imagined after he was born.

Maryam, do you only draw Maher?

In my mind, thoughts, and everything…

It's as if time stopped the moment Maher went missing.

He was 15 years and a half.

Maher went missing on June 17th of 1982,

from the Faculty of Science. He was fighting Israel.

The Lebanese Forces kidnapped him,

while Israel was bombing from the air and the sea.

Have you asked Asaad Chaftari about him?

I have.

What did he tell you?

He said that he would help me reveal Maher's fate.

What did he do?

There are many people in the government just like Asaad.

There is a lot of people like Asaad in the Parliament.

What does that mean?

That's why I see that it's normal for someone like Asaad.

Why are you surprised?

There is a lot of people like Asaad

who were part of political parties, and did the same as Asaad.

They hid information…

and were granted amnesty…

But he didn't become a member of the parliament.

That's sad to hear. He didn't have much luck.

He didn't get lucky.

What do you kill with this, besides humans?

Trucks and trailer trucks.

Car bombs and suicide missions in trailers.

A Taliban combatant in Afghanistan was shot and killed 2,430 meters away.

Don't you want the rifle?

Hold it like this and look at him.

Yes, that's how they hold it.

From 5,000 to 8,000 Euros.

Do you sell it to anyone or to specific groups of people?

Neither. To the government.

Only to the government.

Yes, nobody else.

-Even these accessories? -Everything.

We have Steyr pistols.

They cost around 7,000 Euros. Both of them together.

We work under Magnum Telecom Middle East, as we have another company.

And we mostly sell hunting weapons, same as the other company.

This is my phone number. I can give you my Email if you'd like.

Have a good one.

Did you see your father's pictures with Bachir Gemayel?

Never.

Would you like to see them?

If he gave them to you, then yes. I don't know where he hid them.

He'd tell me he never had a belly when he was my age.

I busted him.

Do you know who is with him?

Elie Hobeika.

Paul Aries.

I don't know the rest.

Which one is he?

Rachid Gemayel, Elie Hobeika,

my dad, Pierre Gemayel.

Look where he was at my age, and where I am!

The roles he had at my age and the people around him.

The knowledge and culture he would acquire.

There's a huge difference between his generation and ours.

Did you notice something in this picture?

Your dad and Bashir Gemayel?

They're standing and tilting the same way.

Do you like the way your dad was?

I don't know what he was like.

I don't know what he was like

to be able to decide whether I like him or not.

But I think at the time these pictures were taken,

he felt good about himself, as the pictures show.

His face seems relaxed.

It's something I don't see in him now.

How did you reach the Faculty of Science during the Israeli invasion?

In the periods that the invasions began on Beirut's borders,

we went to the Faculty of Science, we were a group.

We were around 24 people and I was the leader of the group.

How old were the members of your group?

Some were 24, 18. Others were 20.

How old was Maher?

Maher Qaseer was about 16 or 17 years old.

He was a friendly face to the political party.

He was courageous, fearless, and also very calm.

There was heavy bombing on the first day.

The second night was quiet.

You could hear the machine sounds more clearly.

There weren't any Palestinians or Amal Movement or anybody.

There was communication with the Amal movement to send us support

to enforce our presence there.

The Amal movement pledged to send 50 army personnel.

We were honestly exhausted throughout the night.

The Amal Movement personnel arrived at night.

Around 11 or 12 o'clock.

There was bombing on-site, and Amal's army started to flee.

We were left alone throughout the operation.

There was a screw factory in front of the faculty

that the forces infiltrated.

This situation wasn't promising,

because if they took over the factory, they would be very close to our site.

They eventually took over the screw factory.

The upper story in the Faculty of Science was an extended part of the building.

We assigned two surveillance points.

One of them overlooked the street entrance,

the other overlooked the screw factory.

They were guarded from the ground by two comrades,

one of them was Maher.

He was probably going to his guard duty at the time of the swap.

I told him that I would come back and we would take turns.

He was very calm and said, "No worries, Comrade."

It was calm at sunrise.

A comrade asked me to go up as there's something happening.

I had a flashlight and a pistol.

It was obvious that the faculty building was being infiltrated.

I gave them orders right away to go down.

I fired at the entrance right away to declare a state of alert.

The situation escalated the moment I fired.

They started firing artillery weapons,

direct hits as a pre apprehension to raiding the building.

I couldn't go through the entrance, because they had already reached it.

I went down and clashed with them ten meters away.

You could hear the shots of our rifles at that time.

Mohamed-- Maher and his friend--

We could hear gunshots. Then it went silent.

I got out of there and went straight to the shelter.

It was obvious that they were the Lebanese Forces.

You could hear the screams of men.

It was terrifying.

The fact that a man was screaming and begging for his life was terrifying.

Then you'd hear a gunshot and the screaming stops.

You know an execution has taken place.

The sound of our gunshots started to wither,

and I no longer had anything,

I only had a radio, a rifle, and an empty pistol.

I stayed in the shelter, hiding behind the machines.

There was a hole with something like a hallway covered with metal.

I sat in it.

I had a bullet in my pocket.

I put it in the rifle and I put the rifle here,

so if they come in, I could just kill myself.

The Israelis came to the site, and I had no intel about Maher.

I was trapped and couldn't get out until 1:00 a.m.

They had assigned troops over there

and every once in a while, a soldier would come

and ask, "Who's there?" and another would say, "Masoud."

I thought it could be either a code or that his name is Masoud.

I snuck up.

There was a bright moonlight.

Once he asked, "Who's there?", I said, "Masoud." and pushed him.

I kept on running after that,

and throughout the way, there were ambulances that were hit.

I saw a lot of bodies too.

Maher went missing, and George Kheryate was martyred.

Where do you think Maher could be?

A lot of executions took place,

and a lot of bodies were buried.

Was Israel an ally?

Yes, we considered it an ally at that stage.

Where were you trained in Israel?

I'd rather not say.

You already did.

No, I didn't mention it.

But everyone knows, and you know.

People would go crazy if they knew what I know.

What do you know?

If it makes you feel better, then, yes I was trained in Israel.

How was Israel?

It was like a dream.

How so?

I went to be fascinated.

I had so much respect for them and their power.

I wanted us to become exactly like Israel.

To become a powerful country in the region,

to be independent from the Muslims,

to be able to impose our will, and to do whatever we want by force.

The goal was to try to mimic them.

Which battle did you coordinate with Israel?

1982.

1982.

Were you coordinating with the Israelis regarding the invasion?

I can't answer you.

We talked about this matter before.

No, we didn't talk about it like this.

I didn't coordinate with them an invasion.

But you played a particular role in that.

Does talking about the matter bother you?

Of course it bothers me.

Some secrets aren't just Asaad Chaftari's personal secrets,

some are institutional secrets, movement secrets, cult secrets.

It was your responsibility.

Even if it was my responsibility,

I shouldn't have to talk about everything I was responsible for.

Your coordination with Israel was a secret?

No, but preparing for the Israeli attack was a secret.

This was mentioned in all books.

Jonathan Randall and Alain Menargues also mentioned it.

The Israelis and your own committees also did.

The Israelis didn't say that.

-They didn't say that about me. -What?

I feel like you're doing a press report.

Why?

The questions you're asking are scoop-like.

It's not my thing, I'm not a professional in this.

Let's delve into the depth of the stories.

For example, if you're asking me why we worked with Israel,

then I could talk about that for five hours.

In my opinion, this benefits the community more.

We already know.

You already know?

Regarding the battles you fought together--

The only battle during the invasion was the Faculty of Science battle.

We got into it cautiously, so that the news doesn't spread

that we as the Lebanese and Christian forces

are co-facilitators with the Israelis on their mission.

Is it considered an insignificant mission?

Yes, it was an insignificant mission.

First, the location wasn't strategic.

We took control over it and nothing changed.

Abu Ja'far.

-Is that your name? Abu Ja'far? -Abu Ja'far.

Is that your nickname?

Something like that, let's keep it Abu Ja'far.

Where were you in 1982?

I was in Khalda in 1982.

The battle of Khalda.

I was with a man called Abu Shumran Hamieh.

We were assigned to guard the city every time there was an Israeli invasion.

We saw that the Israelis covering themselves on the way,

and covering their tanks.

Fortunately, we were higher than them on the building.

We were successful in firing mortars at them.

Two tanks were burned to the ground with their crews.

We took control over the armored military vehicle,

and there were two burned soldiers inside.

Our brother Hamieh brought it to the suburbs so they can escape.

Who were you?

The leaders of Amal Movement.

Were they communist?

The communists were outside of that region.

The battle in Khalda was with Amal Movement alone,

even though Amal was lowest in military ranks during the Palestinian resistance.

The Faculty of Science, who was--

The battle of the Faculty of Science came after that.

Be careful.

Were you not in the Faculty of Science?

We were close to the Faculty of Science, Al-jama'a neighborhood, near the railway.

Our brother Aqel has comprehensive information about this.

He knows some names.

The Field Operations Commander was Aqel Hamieh.

We got out of the Faculty, and the invasion started.

The infantry breakthroughs and troops came upon us.

We asked our troops to withdraw. I decided to withdraw the troops.

We got into a car accident.

A Palestinian Red Crescent ambulance hit our car.

I was admitted into the hospital.

The next day they told us…

that the Faculty fell, and that 20 men were killed.

Brother Aqel Hamieh, our historian.

Thank you.

He knows all about the invasion and the aerial battles.

His name is Maher Qaseer.

Maher Qaseer.

I think I remember a bit of his features.

He used to come with the martyr Mohammad Al-Husseini.

He's one of the Laylaki guys.

I suppose so.

They were all the same age, full the same enthusiasm.

These young men would volunteer to go to axis points.

Nobody ever got out of that group.

They went missing, and couldn't be located.

Why did we come here?

-What? -What are we doing here?

To be honest, your name was repeated wherever I asked.

I was told to meet Elias Atallah,

as he was the Military official for the Communist Party.

I don't know anything about this incident.

I couldn't find people to connect me with information.

I didn't find anything.

Today, you can find any piece of information important,

but before then, it would have been insignificant.

-The battle of the Faculty of Science. -It was a huge incident.

The whole city was on fire.

Hold on.

Yes, Maryam?

I'm with Mr. Elias Atallah.

Why did you go to Elias Atallah?

Elias Atallah is an ally

to those who cooperated with Israel in the Faculty of Science.

He's not one of the Communist Party. He won't do anything.

I don't know anything, in all honesty.

I don't know anything.

Who is that?

Is that him?

Yes.

His name is Maher Qaseer, have you ever seen him?

Maher Qaseer…

Maher Qaseer…

No, I don't think I've seen him.

I thought he was my son. He looks like my son.

What was his role in the party?

-A soldier. -No, he wasn't a soldier.

What then?

You didn't experience that time.

Weapons were widespread, and he was going to battle.

Who recruited him?

Maybe he recruited himself, or his friend did.

The party accepts 15 year-olds?

We were in battle with Israel.

All of the axis points were being attacked by tanks.

The Israeli Navy was bombing all of Beirut.

The Israeli tanks were bombing all of Beirut from the mountains.

The Israeli air force was striking all of Beirut.

We were facing an enemy that had a thousand tanks,

and we didn't even have a car.

We were only superior in manpower.

Our courage.

People were volunteering to fight.

What happened on June 17th, 1982?

I don't know. I don't remember things this way.

I don't have a calendar to keep up with dates.

I have a calendar for major events.

What are those major events, according to you?

The start of the invasion,

the day they entered Beirut.

The day the Palestinians left in August.

And of course we fought a great battle against the Israelis.

In the race track district.

What about the battle of the Faculty of Science?

I don't have a detailed memory of what happened.

All I know is that there was a battle in the Faculty of Science.

Who was the enemy?

-Israel. -What about the Lebanese enemy?

Honestly, we forgot about it.

Weren't the Kataeb and the Forces allies with Israel?

We forgot.

They were the allies in the Faculty of Science battle.

-I want to ask you a question. -Yes.

What's the matter?

I want to find out why you want to know

the story of the Faculty of Science.

-Did you enjoy carrying a weapon? -Yes.

Do you remember the first time you held a weapon?

When I went to buy my pistol,

I went to Shatila, a Palestinian refugee camp,

and bought it from a Palestinian arms dealer.

-An opposing Palestinian arms dealer? -Palestinian arms dealer.

I also bought a pack of cartridge with 25 bullets.

Do you like how strong you feel when holding a weapon?

Of course, it gives a sense of power and masculinity.

It made you feel manly?

I was proud that we were Christians,

fighting the enemies of Christianity and the enemies of God.

Did you feel like you were one of "God's chosen people"?

Not as far as the chosen ones, but to a certain extent, yes.

Christians had the holiest religion,

and I felt like I was better than Muslims.

What was God like to you?

I believed that what I was doing in the war was a favor to God.

It's as if He called upon me and asked me

to defend His people and His church, just like the Crusaders.

Jerusalem and the Holy Land are in need of Christian troops to free them.

If we fight, we can grant it its Christian nature.

How did you execute the message of God?

Did you decide to organize humanity?

I decided to organize Lebanon based on what I saw fit.

In order for me to organize the Christians the way I saw fit.

I decide who is pleasing God and who isn't.

How do you decide?

Lebanon wouldn't have come to live if there weren't Christians.

France gave this piece of land to the Christians

so they could run it the way they want.

Surely they would be leaders, and the first class citizens.

-How old were you when he was kidnaped? -six years old.

I learned from my mom that we were very close

because he was the eldest, and I was younger.

When were you born?

It was a time of war.

I'm listening to your daughter Maisa.

She didn't agree to be videotaped, but didn't mind hearing her records.

Can I videotape the kids?

No.

It was a time of war.

Do you have memories of your childhood before this period?

He had a picture of me in his pocket when he was kidnapped.

I would always ask about it

and she would tell me it's with my brother.

We were at home, and my mom was crying hysterically.

She was devastated.

She sat down and laid out all the pictures,

and started crying as she looked at them.

I didn't feel like a child after that.

The neighborhood we lived in was being raided by the air force.

Israel was bombing us. We slept one night in the shelter.

We were three kids and my mom when we went out on the street.

She asked us not to walk on the same side,

and not to walk next to each other,

So that if a missile hits, we wouldn't all die at once.

We lived through many days and holidays

sleeping and hoping that he would be back tomorrow.

The political parties would promise us that they would release the kidnapped.

We waited to the point where if someone knocked on the door,

we would say, "He's here."

How do you remember your mom before and after the kidnapping?

I don't remember her before it at all.

I tried to commit suicide.

I brought in a burning stove and closed the door.

I woke up the next morning throwing up, but I wasn't harmed.

Did any of your family members support you?

I don't want you to ask me about his family or my family or anybody's family!

We were crushed!

Why would we want to live!

Do you not want me to meet your children?

My children aren't involved in this. Let's keep it that way.

How many disappearances were you responsible for?

I can't give a number.

I can't tell you, I don't know.

I don't remember at all.

-You were an interrogator. -Yes, but I don't remember names or faces.

You used to see the detainees.

Not all of them. I saw some of them.

Did you look them in the eye?

No, because they were blindfolded.

If I were to look in their eyes, they would be about to get killed.

You used to beat them, and see them being tortured.

Yes, but for me it was justified torture.

Were you to decide whether they would live or die?

It was two or three people who decided whether to set a person free or kill him.

How do you feel about seeing these pictures?

This one.

I don't know if I was the one who killed him or not.

Suppose I remembered, what could I do?

I can't do anything anymore.

The only thing we can do is tell his parents the truth.

But you're not telling them the entire truth.

Can you live with yourself knowing that the mothers of the kidnapped

have died without you telling them the truth?

I only know a piece of the truth,

but this piece could harm other people.

It could harm the community I belong to.

People think that the official is the one who knows everything,

but that's not true.

The official has the least information.

The smallest personnel in the hierarchy is the one who has the information.

Because he memorizes the names of the kidnapped and feeds them every day.

He knows from where he took them, and to whom he handed them.

He knows if they were shot or buried, whether they were set free or not.

There were mass graves, and you know where they are.

I'm not going to answer you.

I only know about one, but off the record.

Why would I talk about it though?

-How are you doing? -How's everything?

All is well?

Where is Maher?

I don't know.

-Did you come-- -We want to ask who knows.

-Have you been here before? -Sort of.

We want to ask those who know.

Who knows, Asaad?

He and I worked to figure it out.

But he needs to tell me!

We live in a country of lies.

Our politicians are liars, the civil society is a lie.

Life is all but a lie.

My son is an example of the patriotic Lebanese youth!

He gave up the guitar, the drums, and his education.

He was taught that Israel is in front of him and the sea behind is him.

And that's how a homeland is acquired!

If your conscious is dead,

mine isn't! I'm looking for my son!

I'm responsible for him!

Your conscious is deeply buried!

You're a heartless group of people.

You sold your souls.

What do I do now Asaad Chaftari!

Tell me where my son is buried so I can hold the soil of his grave!

Lead me!

I don't want anything.

I just want to hold my son's bones. Tell me where he is.

Tell me, you and all the others, where he is.

Tell me where it got you!

Why are you looking at me like that?

Why are you looking at me like that?

Did I upset you?

-Not as upset as I am. -On the contrary.

-Not as upset as I am! -You didn't upset me at all.

-Why would I be upset? -Of course it's not going to upset you.

I've had it.

You're not thinking about a mother of a kidnapped child.

You're not thinking about a kidnap case.

Mrs. Maryam.

Do me a favor and don't talk to me.

I can't take it. Don't talk to me.

I don't want anybody to talk to me.

-I just want to say a word to you. -I don't want to hear anything.

Not a single word.

If you want to tell me where Maher is, I'll listen.

If not, I'll just leave.

I don't want to hear anything else.

Yes. It was a nice experience.

Yes.

Byblos City will be the next destination for the exhibition.

I hope that the exhibition in Byblos will be as successful as this one.

It's going to be an amazing event.

I find it sad to remove the pictures.

Mustafa is taking the pictures off the wall now.

Yes.

If you try to shoot now, it'll run away.

I want somebody to go up.

Son, don't walk so fast. Stay by my side.

Here's the rabbit.

Don't move and don't talk.

There it is, watch out.

Come on, shoot.

Hold it from by ears, please.

In Europe, they respect animals.

They don't hold a pheasant by its legs, like a chicken,

they hold it by its neck.

Is there any left?

Thank you.

Raif, the rabbits are in front of you. Hurry so you can get back across the hill.

Fouad, did you participate in the Civil War?

In the beginning, I was a normal fighter.

Then I joined a special brigade, the anti-terrorism brigade.

In the Lebanese Forces.

Did you learn how to shoot there?

No, my dad was an army officer.

He taught me to shoot when I was little.

I started to go hunting with him since I was six years old.

Then I took many courses, and became more professional.

Did you train in Israel?

We had workshops in many countries.

In Israel?

In many countries.

Suheil, did you participate in the war?

Yes, I did.

Did you shoot?

Of course. It's a fighter's job to shoot in the war.

Did you regret anything after the war?

It's a war. It's either kill or be killed.

We're soldiers at war.

A soldier takes commands.

If he's ordered to do something, he does it.

Asaad was my chief.

What is your name?

Raif.

Raif Nassif.

How old are you?

Fourteen years old.

Tell me a little about this place.

This place belongs to Hariri,

but for the past ten years or more, my dad has been the one taking care of it.

It's basically a wildlife reserve.

What do you do when you come here?

I hunt.

-Do you enjoy hunting? -Yes.

I used to hunt ever since I was six years old.

What kind of rifle do you use?

I use a sniper rifle.

it's harder to use.

-Or a double barrel gun. -Is a rifle smaller in size?

No, it could be smaller or larger. It depends on the caliber.

Why do you like shooting?

Because I grew up around shooting.

My house was full of pistols and such.

Does your dad collect pistols?

Something like that.

what do you feel while hunting?

What do I feel while hunting?

What am I supposed to feel? I…

It depends.

If my shot misses a rabbit,

I don't feel happy.

But when my shot hits a rabbit, I can't really say that I feel happy.

But…

I feel proud of myself.

Do you feel sad when the rabbit dies?

Yes, when I was little, but then you get used to it.

What do you know about the war?

The only thing I know is that my dad was in the war.

Most of what happened

was under the rule of president Bachir Gemayel.

He was the president at the time, and he gave the orders.

He talked about joining the Christians of the East in Lebanon

to achieve Christian nationalism.

But when he became head of the republic,

his orientation changed to achieve a united homeland.

Where is Bachir Gemayel's project? Whether the first, second, or third.

Where is Bachir Gemayel now?

I'm afraid we have nothing of Maher.

Not even a picture or a word? Nothing at all?

We have things about the stages of the invasion.

This is what's left of the archive after the invasion.

This is Al-Nida newspaper archive.

The Israeli forces took some of it and burned down the building.

The Communist Party's newspaper, Al-Nida

covered all the stages of the invasion, including the Faculty of Science battle.

Let's start with June, the 17th when he went missing.

The invasion began here on June 6th…

"Israel bombs Douha."

The Beqaa. The South.

This is the 13th.

"Bombing in the vicinity of the airport."

That's the beginning, we're getting close.

"Israeli vehicles at the outskirts of Shuweifa."

This is the 17th.

"…The Faculty of Science"

Here is the Faculty of Science.

"The Faculty of Science front fighters defend the country

and repel an Israeli attack on the Faculty of Science,

destroying two tanks, and killing 12 soldiers…"

"The militant groups behind the lines

lead violent clashes between the orchards of Sidon and Tyre,

killing 16 people."

Do they mention people missing?

I searched here, but couldn't find any missing people's names.

You can't declare someone missing unless you make sure they're missing.

You can't say that they're missing or that they were martyred

while they're a living captive by the enemy.

Otherwise the enemy will kill them.

We make announcements only when we are certain of their condition.

Certain that they were martyred.

If we don't know their fate, we don't announce anything.

What is Maher Qaseer considered up to this point?

You have to ask whoever was in leadership at the time.

I'm only responsible for the archive, not the records of martyrs.

Is he considered missing or a martyr?

I don't know if they are classified with the martyrs or the missing.

If you search through the archive, could you find anything about Maher?

Where is he?

Maryam, do you consider him a missing case or a martyr?

-Who? -The political party. What did they say?

I took two documents from the political party,

one stated that he is a martyr, the other stated that he is missing.

Which one do you adopt?

Missing, I believe.

They gave me these papers.

This is the first one, this is the second,

and this is the third.

These were in the martyrs file.

-What? -Inside his file.

Missing. You classified him as a martyr.

People from the political party came to me,

and asked for Maher's identity certificate.

I gave them Maher's identity certificate,

thinking they would submit it to the officials in the country

as a missing person.

After a while, I meet a person.

He said, "Um Maher, you're still going down this road,

and we see you on TV talking about it."

I said, "Yes."

He said, "Yes, they sent his certificate to Libya

and took 15,000 dollars."

-What you're saying-- -hold on.

-I got suspicious-- -Wait. If you want

-to get into these details-- -I got suspicious.

When they state here, " Maher the martyr…"

Wait! Listen to me for God's sake!

-Please, let me speak. -Would you please stop filming?

They state that he's missing here and a martyr there.

I want to know which is true.

This is not acceptable.

-You can't trick people that way. -This is my son!

-This is my son! -I respect that he's your son.

There's nothing more important than him in the world!

I have a brother in this book.

The President's office… Nothing is more important than my son.

This is my son.

-Maryam, wait a moment! -Please, get out.

-Come on, leave. -Maryam, why are you reacting like this?

I'm on your side.

Do me a favor and leave.

I don't want to talk to you. Get out, please.

-What did I do? -I want you the first one out.

-What did I do? -Get out!

-You! Get out, please! -I'm going to leave,

-but what did I do? -Turn off the lights, please.

Turn off the lights, and give me the tape please.

Hold on, Maryam!

Maryam, dear, please listen to me.

-Wait. -Maryam, listen to me.

I want to tell you…

We didn't discuss Maher's issue.

From the beginning, I wasn't the one responsible for the issue.

-Here you go. Thank you.

First, I respect you as a person.

-Thank you. -I respect you as Maher's mother.

But primarily, you as a person.

Not vice versa.

I'm a person because of Maher.

-I don't consider myself as a women… -You're the one who raised him.

The Lebanese Communist Party never sent people

to be killed like this.

The Lebanese Communist party had martyrs since 1940s

in student, worker, and youth fights.

We still have 31 colleagues with unknown fates.

We tried to know their fates.

The country isn't helping.

We're also unable to reach the ones who committed this criminal act.

Neither Israel or its internal allies.

This country only works for a certain group of people, as you know.

As they told you, "Let's declare them all dead.

We don't know where they are, and let's end the Civil War matter."

I'm exhausted.

What happened in the battle of the Faculty of Science exactly?

As a result of it, we had some captives,

most of them were from the Amal Forces, and a couple were national communists.

They were young men who came in their undershirts.

Communication and relations were beginning to improve with the Amal group.

The official took them from us,

and handed them over to the Amal Movement.

The rest were executed.

Where do they get executed?

What do you mean?

Where do you leave their bodies?

There's a place where they are placed temporarily,

and later on to a final location.

Where is that location?

I don't have a lot of answers regarding the bodies.

Everything has changed.

-What was here? -The command post previously.

And our headquarters.

I've never been here before,

but I know where they used to throw the bodies.

Whomever they found in the area

or the people shot during investigations,

or during battles.

They would throw them all here.

In this warehouse, here.

-This one? -No, the other one to your left.

Is this a mass grave?

Mass grave? This phrase isn't what it is.

A mass grave is when people are killed and buried at the same time.

It's not correct…

So what do you call this?

A corpse range or a corpse collection area.

Something like that.

-That's what I call it -How do you not know the area if--

I didn't used to come here, it wasn't my job.

You only gave the command.

It doesn't mean I was innocent. I didn't say I was innocent.

But you didn't get your hands dirty?

Getting my hands dirty wasn't my job.

There were people in charge of that, so why would I do it?

Is it possible that Maryam's son, Maher, is here?

It's possible.

What?

Don't you want to search for Maher with me?

The problem is that I can't have someone with me.

Didn't you find someone in the Faculty of Science on the floor?

Me?

Do you forget or pretend to forget?

Didn't you find someone who said that they found a communist Christian,

and they took revenge on him in battle?

I can't talk about this topic since it involves someone else.

I told you before.

So you won't let me come with you?

No, of course not.

-Get out then. -Okay.

THE CLOWN

Hello, Maryam.

I want to introduce you to someone. Her name is Madam A'sayleh.

I really love being around people…

I take joy in helping people when it's possible

to lift off the burden…

of grief.

-Misery. -You like taking away misery?

-Easing it. -You like easing the misery?

-Yes. -Of others?

As much as I can, but I can't…

without--

I wish you can ease my pain.

This is my job.

I work as a psychotherapist.

How do you explain or define your issue?

I'm not here to inform her of my issue.

I'm here so she can tell me.

What is she going to do?

I don't know what she can do about it.

I'm here so she can tell me.

In our country,

there are criminals who gave themselves an exemption,

and reconciled.

Some of them joined associations, "so-called" humanitarian associations

that shouldn't even be called animal rights groups.

Some of them are in the Parliament,

which is a corral for murderers.

I don't have anything, I'm not a president whatsoever.

I'm not… I don't have power.

But the mother's pain

needs to be laid down

to go on with her life.

For example, if there's an--

Lay down the pain?

And move on?

Move on without the pain.

Have you felt my pain?

I tried.

Could you set it aside or not?

We've all felt pain.

Every person has felt a lot of pain.

If there's a little bit of pain, no matter how small,

even the size of a speck, not as much as yours,

is it good to keep it for life?

If they don't begin to forgive themselves,

you get stuck in the problem without getting out of it.

-I don't understand. -What?

What do you mean by forgiving myself?

I'm the victim not the criminal to forgive myself.

Forgive myself!

I'm not a criminal to forgive myself.

The criminal comes to peace with himself.

How did you even forgive yourself?!

When a person views themself as a victim,

they'll always feel like someone is after them or that there's someone…

I don't want to complicate things.

Let me put it this way.

She knows the kind of pain I'm going through,

but how is she going to help me?

She can help you by giving you inner peace,

and finding your son in a spiritual way.

How? Let her tell me. I'm ready to go through with it.

-How is it done? -I want to see you.

-I want to see you. -Yes.

That's the way, just let me see you.

-When? -Now.

Now? Let's do it.

In the other room?

-No. I want… -She wants to see me now, right?

Ask her.

She just wants to look at you.

She wants to look at me?

Fine. Look at me.

I'm done.

I have nothing left to say.

Let's go.

Asaad, did the Christian dream die with the death of Bachir Gemayel?

A great deal of the dream came true,

which was breaking the Palestinians,

and force them to leave the country,

at least the ones in Command and the military power.

Does that mean that the Christian dream died with Bachir?

Not directly.

However, it died after the Israelis handed over

the strategic locations of the mountains to the Druze.

It became clear that the Israelis aren't here to serve us.

Did you feel orphaned?

We found ourselves without a leader.

The absence of the president definitely weakened us.

We were a group of young people without a vision.

He was the one to coordinate all the information and decisions.

He took care of all aspects, and all parts of the Lebanese Forces.

After that, two leaders came in the picture,

Elie Hobeika and Samir Geagea together,

which started the power struggle.

Who truly leads the Lebanese Force, us or Samir Geagea.

How did you find yourselves in Zahle?

We were negotiating the Tripartite Accord with Amal movement,

which was the Lebanese resistance regiments,

and with the Progressive Socialist Party.

They were negotiations under the Syrian protection.

A section of the Lebanese Force rejected the Tripartite Accord.

On December 31st, there was an assassination attempt on Elie Hobeika.

However, it was me in the targeted convoy, not him.

On January 15th, 1986,

a coup broke out against us

that was organized by Samir Geagea and the Kataeb.

We were forced to leave the Eastern Province.

We headed to Paris,

and from Paris to Damascus, then we headed to Zahle.

Marie, what was your Christian dream?

I dreamt of a Christian country in the beginning of the war.

To live alone in-- not by myself,

but with Christians with the same mindset, not any Christians.

How and when did the Christian dream shatter for you?

In 1985, after the Tripartite Accord.

I couldn't imagine that someone would shoot at a comrade of mine.

It was disheartening for me.

What happened in the Tripartite Accord?

It was an attempt to bring peace between Lebanese militias

and the disputing parties to end the war in Lebanon.

What did Asaad represent in the agreement?

He was Elie Hobeika's representative.

He went back and forth to Syria,

and he went through all the details of this agreement.

I had just recently given birth. Elie was only six to seven months old.

I carried him while we were being kicked out.

Who kicked you out?

The other Lebanese Forces, Samir Geagea.

We were displaced for six years

to a place where we were not welcome.

The situation was full of misery and hatred.

I felt broken, without a past or a future.

I felt the same as Palestinians.

I don't have a homeland.

I'm unwelcome, unwanted. Just like them.

I remember there were deportees that made camp in Beqaa,

I wanted to visit them, but I didn't.

Although I really wanted to.

I wanted to tell them that I was deported just like them.

Against tyranny

Against us the bloody flag of tyranny is raised

The bloody flag is raised

Do you hear, in the countryside?

Not this one, Asaad.

Our room was different.

How was that period of time?

It was disastrous.

Here in Zahle at the Kadri Hotel?

We were a group of young people coming from a military loss.

Which means that all the men that were present

had been through great shock.

They had a military loss and were kicked out.

We all gathered with our shattered dreams in the Kadri Hotel.

And with our doomed future.

The women whose husbands didn't come back

would cry their hearts out in the hotel.

The men were devastated.

They would smoke hashish and abuse cocaine.

They would even force their wives to smoke with them.

The women would come running to us.

They planted a bomb once while we were at the Kadri Hotel.

It was in the command quarter to our left, and the command quarter exploded.

I was here with Elie, along with the women.

All of the glass shattered to the floor.

We ran to the Red Cross, at night.

With all the women and the kids, while wrapping the kids up in blankets.

They told us that there was another explosion in the Red Cross.

I can never forget that night. It was very tough,

especially that the rain in Zahle is heavy at night.

What about Asaad during that period?

Asaad, What about him?

There was no marital life, Elyan.

In 1985, when you went to Zahle--

1986.

I suddenly found myself with a group of people,

95% of them…

didn't think in their wildest dreams to even get close to me.

Not in their wildest dreams.

All of a sudden they became our friends, and we would hang out.

They no longer lived in barracks, they were out with the rest of the world.

We were a group that had families, while they were young men.

They would bring anyone over.

What can I say.

One of them asked me to lock him

because he wanted to quit drugs.

Another would say, "They kidnapped my family in the east

and are threatening me to turn on you,

otherwise they would kill them."

Another would say, "They raped my friend's sister

and threw her in the trash.

Besides the bombed cars and assassinations

following us everywhere."

Night time was tough. Night is the time to judge oneself.

What are your current dreams?

My personal dreams?

I wanted to become a singer, Elyan. Do you want to hear this dream?

Why didn't you become a singer?

My dad prevented me from singing anything but patriotic songs.

Songs for Lebanon and the army.

I was only allowed to sing to certain singers,

I was allowed to sing to Fayrouz as she resembled purity.

I wasn't allowed to sing to Sabah, although I liked her a lot, and still do.

Asaad and Elie don't like Arabic,

meaning they don't like Arabic songs or glee.

If they heard me singing at home, they would silence me.

However, it's no longer a problem.

I work things out with Asaad and Elie's.

What is the worst thing you did during this period?

This is very personal to me.

-What would your father tell you? -He would always watch me.

He was very strict.

We had to stand up whenever he came.

We weren't allowed to address him by saying "You."

We had to say "Sir."

We only had three chances to mess up,

and we would get punished on the third.

It was a military rule. He was in the army

How did you imagine your prince charming would be?

I imagined him to be of high morals, to be educated,

to be a believer.

-Like Asaad? -That's how Asaad is.

Did Asaad express his love to you?

Asaad is cold-hearted.

I discovered in Zahle that I had a nice voice.

There were people who liked my voice, and gave me confidence.

I found myself all over again.

My true self was back.

I became friends with a lot of women in Zahle.

I liked them. They used to sing a lot during the evenings.

They would spend the evenings in the yards singing.

I trained my voice a lot there.

-Sing with me. -You want me to sing with you?

-"Yana Yana?" -"Yana Yana" is very hard to sing.

Come on, sing.

What comes next?

Son, how nice it would be to have you join me this morning.

For us to be together.

To smoke a cigarette together the way we used to.

Drink a cup of coffee.

Maher.

Maher.

You made me live a hard life.

Full of pain…

and agony.

Every year, my dear son, I would look at people's faces

and say, "this one looks like Maher," and, "Maher would've looked like that."

How wonderful would it be to have you by my side today.

I need you today.

I'm tired.

You don't like me being tired.

One for blood pressure.

Two for diabetes.

And one for eliminating the side effects

of one of the medications I take that makes my hand tremble.

Nerve medication?

No.

I started taking medication in 1990, after the war ended.

I was promised to take on general responsibilities

among the deputies who were appointed, but that never happened.

I felt like I was alone in an empty room.

I felt emptiness, even time was useless.

I found myself having all the time to do nothing.

I didn't want to sit alone and think about the past and what happened.

That's why I used to escape.

What hurts you the most?

That I can't go back in time and erase things that happened,

or things that I was responsible for, or things that I did.

How many times did they try to kill you?

I think four or five times, something like that.

Who?

Most of them were comrades.

Asaad, can we set a meeting between you and--

I don't mind, but I don't know if he would.

Why wouldn't he agree?

There's a sort of embarrassment in talking about the past.

Are you not willing to confront him?

Why would I confront him? It's over.

Wouldn't you like to ask him how he used to inform you in the 1980's…

Of course not.

-…and tell you that-- -No, of course not.

He would give you a command to kill people, and give you permission.

Of course not.

What did he do exactly?

I'd rather not talk about it, Elyan.

To be honest, I'm…

But you already talked about it.

No, I didn't give away his identity.

I said he was a cleric, but I didn't name him.

What did this cleric do?

Let's say he was a cleric and…

What did he do?

He considered it normal to…

We were responsible for security and intelligence,

so he considered it normal for us to kill

or be responsible for the killing of people,

because we were doing it in the name of the Christian cause,

the Lebanese Christians, and in the name of Lebanon.

Once, I was confessing something to him

and he gave me prior permission to kill 500 people.

He asked me to come back when it was done,

so he can give me permission for more.

What if I asked him about this period?

He wrote a book about it, he's not embarrassed.

There's nothing in the book. It's basically useless.

He only tells stories of his great heroism.

I'm in a hurry.

We were young and the war was a game to us.

-How old were you? -I was 22 in 1982.

Are you okay with being videotaped?

No.

I feel like sometimes I don't want to remember.

I don't want to even think about it.

What happened in the battle of the Faculty of Science in June, 1982?

There were three parties involved.

There was the Forces barracks.

The other big party involved was Ain Al-Remmaneh barracks,

and there were also other departments

that had soldiers, but it became a matter of numbers.

We were about 250 people in this operation.

All these barracks were under the rule of Sheikh Bashir.

We were the commando group, and the most important one.

The operation started early in the morning.

The attack was on three fronts.

There was a guy from Amal's movement at the university's corridor.

He pulled out his rifle and fired 30 shots at Elie Makhlouf,

the one responsible for the operation.

His group were running, and Elie Makhlouf was injured in his head,

Joseph Bitar and two others were killed.

After news spread that Elie Makhlouf was killed,

it was no longer a joke.

A lot of people lost their cool. It was anarchy.

There was a retaliatory reaction.

If someone got stuck at the university's theaters…

Do you know what happened inside the theaters?

Fifty bombs were thrown inside.

You couldn't identify the ones killed inside.

The attack resumed, and the university was purged.

The bombardment lasted for an hour or an hour and a half.

Everything had ended by then.

There were about 40-45 people from the other side,

seven or eight of them who were fighting got killed.

Those were supposed to be handed over

to the Military Council of Amal's Movement where Elie Hobeika was responsible.

The rest escaped. There was an escape route.

About 30-35 people escaped.

Were any of them held captive?

Held captive? No.

We had the captives.

They only investigated them and returned them to us,

which they later came to kill.

Before the attack, we had some detainees

from the areas we gained control over before university.

About 13-15 people.

They were detained and killed.

Did you ever come across a young man at the age of 15-16?

He was a communist that went missing, and is still missing to this day.

It's hard to remember. Their faces were usually covered in blood.

You couldn't identify them.

The fighters would have been beaten up 50 times,

besides the bombs, shots, and missiles…

You can't think clearly in such situations.

I have a picture of him but it's not clear.

Show it to me.

He looks old here.

He looks like he's 30. He doesn't look 16 at all.

-Was his hair like this at the time? -Yes.

I can't remember.

I'm going to try to meet people that I haven't seen in a long time

to get any information,

or if they know someone up who was removed or such.

If I let his mom get you the pictures.

She has a lot of pictures of him. Could you--

Let her give them to you, I don't want to see his mother

because it's going to be an embarrassing situation for me.

-Do you need anything, Son? -No, thanks. Take care.

Bye.

Don't ever think that a war starts only when the shooting starts.

That's not how it is.

My war started when I very young.

I used to hear bad jokes about the Muslims

that had a lot of arrogance and belittling.

I lived and was raised in a believing Christian family.

I was a believing Christian before the war,

and I also practiced my faith.

However, I don't know how I let politics creep into my life,

and I started to envision a certain image for Lebanon.

The Christian Lebanon, just like I and the other Christians want.

Even one of the people whom I was proud of, a leader at that time,

used to say that Muslims were our low-class brothers.

He used to call them "the low class."

To the ones interested to know, I did every bad thing one can do during the war.

I used to justify my actions

by saying that I wasn't doing this for personal reasons,

but for the cause, I was able to do anything, in all honesty.

It took me up to the year 2000 to come out,

and deliver an apology letter to the Lebanese.

Al-Samah garden.

Just a moment, please.

I need to grab something.

There's something that crossed my mind.

Something crossed my mind.

This is how we usually take pictures.

He's probably taller than me.

Give us this day our daily bread,

and forgive us our trespasses,

as we forgive those who trespass against us,

and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Where is your husband for God's sake?

I don't know where he went or disappeared to.

What is your name?

Pepo.

Pepo?

Pepo the fifth.

Why is your hand trembling like that?

Because I'm happy.

Don't clench your hands.

Let it go! Let it go!

Don't act.

It moved.

Does your hand keep on trembling?

Why?

It dances?

You're lying.

Yes, you're lying.

You hit it?

Do you hit the ones you love?

Sometimes?

-What? Talk. -They become better when you hit them.

For real?

Asaad, you once told me that after hearing your apology,

your mom asked you to forgive her?

She felt like I was living in agony,

and asked me to forgive her if she was the one responsible for what happened.

Is your mom the mastermind at home?

Yes. Can't you tell?

It has always been this way.

I was the only stubborn one who would talk back.

She used to punish me by kicking me out and closing the door.

It used to be one of the toughest punishments that I can remember.

My dad would always try to fix things between us.

Did you ask your friends about Maher?

I talked to a guy who was with me,

and one from the same group,

and another guy from the ones that were taken by the government.

Did any of the guys you talked to recognize him?

Some recognized him a bit.

One guy from the barracks group

told me that this guy was trying to escape or something like that.

He was young. A very young man, a child.

The thing I'm sure of is that the other group grabbed all the bodies,

and took them behind the small building, there was sand.

They put all the bodies there and prayed for them.

At the end of the day, they were humans just like us.

These buildings over there were monitoring centers.

One from this side, and one from the other side.

This is the old building from which they monitored the operations.

The attack started here.

One unit headed this way, another headed that way,

and the third headed directly to the inside.

This was the main target, the university.

The fighting began under the theater hall,

in the courtyard.

The casualties, they were killed over there on the descending stairs.

Elie and Tony were killed in this area.

This building was subjected to a lot of bombing

and the ones who were at the top tried to escape by going down.

They tried to escape the university from the other side.

This is where everything happened, six to seven people were killed here.

I think someone here was trying to escape.

They noticed he was young. He was shot here, I guess.

The young man could be the one we're looking for.

The one who was trying to escape to the other side.

This is the only exit that they were able to escape from.

Almost 90% of them were killed.

When the battle was over,

I think all the people who were killed,

were taken over there behind the building.

They put them behind the building so they would be far from us,

because we stayed here the longest.

This small building remained since then?

Yes, but these stairs weren't here,

it was like a field. Nothing was here but a field.

In this place, and in this zone specifically,

which is approximately 30 meters in diameter,

is definitely where they put the ones that were killed.

-Come, I want to show you something. -Let's go.

Maryam, this young man told me where all the battles took place.

This building has a stair that descends to a theater.

Over there is where the battles happened--

Aren't these the stairs I told you they still have blood on them?

Those are inside the building.

The small indoor one that you descend to reach the shelter?

Yes, maybe.

I took a picture of it.

-At the very end of the university. -Yes, at the far end.

There's a couple of guys that were killed, two on that side,

and one on this side.

Those were the ones who escaped from the inside of the building.

And according to Shawki Hassan,

the last time he saw Maher he was at the top, on guard duty.

Yes, okay.

-Okay? -Yes.

-There were three groups that entered. -Yes.

There's one guy who says he noticed that there was a young man

who fell here.

He told him that he was young.

In addition to others who were in the building.

Anyway, since they can't remember the faces…

Yes, of course.

…what they could tell for sure was that all who were killed,

even the ones who were shot trying to escape,

were taken to a place…

-And put them there. -Put them there.

-Does he know where that place is? -Yes, I'm going to take you there.

-This is the location. -Yes.

In a 30 meter diameter.

Subtitles Translation by: Lina Ali