Original subtitles

Want to do something later?

Like what?

New Die Hard movie's out.

Yeah, I don't know.

He didn't die in the first one,

he didn't die in the second one.

Yeah, it's hard for him to die.

It's right there in the title.

Hey, how about Toy Story?

What's that?

Oh, it's about these toys that come to life.

So a horror movie?

How does that sound like horror?

Chucky's a toy.

When he came to life, I almost crapped my pants.

Georgie, can I talk to you for a minute?

Sure, what's up?

Alone.

Okay, now I really want to hear.

It's private.

Yeah, yeah, get to it.

Mandy, please.

And no listening from the other room.

Oh, you don't own this house.

So what's up?

Well, the thing is...

Hang on. Mandy?

Oh, phooey!

There's this girl.

Okay.

Uh-huh.

I'm thinking of asking her out.

But?

I'm not sure how it'll go.

All right.

I've been there.

You ever talk to her?

Yes. How does that go?

Unclear.

Why?

Well, she's nice to me, but she might just

be nice to me because I'm a customer.

Although sometimes she's nice to me even

when I don't buy things, but she might just be

hoping I'll come back and buy something.

Yeah, "unclear" really summed it up.

- How can I help? - Unclear.

All right, spill.

It was a private conversation.

Yeah, yeah, about what?

Well, if he wanted you to know, you'd know.

Oh, come on.

I am your wife.

We tell each other everything.

Do we?

Well, for the sake of this argument, yes.

Fine, it was about a girl.

No!

That's all I'm sayin'.

Sure, sure, okay, so...

who is she? What's her name?

I've already said too much.

No, you haven't.

Did he ask her out?

Not yet, now stop.

But you'll tell me when he does?

Do I have a choice?

Of course you do.

But not really. No, mm-mm.

Huh, I wonder why he went to you?

I'm the one with more dating experience.

Well, obviously,

I've got some moves with the ladies.

Yeah? Did you tell him to lie

about his age and knock her up?

Joke all you want.

That worked.

All right, how do you want to play this?

If I knew how to play it,

I would've played it. I'm not a player.

Fair enough.

Introduce me, and I'll talk you up.

What are you going to say about me?

I don't know.

You're a nice guy.

I am nice.

You're fun.

I am fun.

I really am quite the catch, aren't I?

That's good. Women like confidence.

What about the part that I'm unemployed

and live over my parents' garage?

Yes.

That is not gonna be news to her.

Georgie around?

I was gonna work on the Mustang.

Oh, he's out with Connor.

Oh, what are those two doing?

Well, I'm actually not supposed to tell you.

What's that mean?

It's private.

Amanda.

Okay, you didn't hear it from me,

but there's a girl that Connor likes.

A girl girl?

What's that mean?

I don't know, uh...

a human girl?

Yeah, I would assume so.

And he asked for Georgie's help.

Now, hold on, what do we know about her?

Uh, she exists.

Take the win.

So you'd be happy with him just going out with anybody?

Literally anybody.

Now, he is very fragile.

What if she breaks his heart?

Well, what if she marries him and they move out?

Hey, I got married and moved in.

What do we know about this girl?

That her? Yes.

Pretty. Yes.

Out of my league?

Come on, introduce me.

Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.

Hello, Chloe.

Hey...

Connor. Connor.

This is Georgie.

Hey, Georgie. Hey.

No, I used to have a guitar in my room,

but that was just to impress the girls.

Did it work?

Well, I married his sister.

But not because of the guitar.

'Cause I got her pregnant.

Okay.

Here, I wrote a song for you.

Uh, excuse us, please.

What are you doing?

You didn't talk about giving her a song.

Should I take it back?

No, you can't take it back.

Is that you on keys?

That's me on everything. It's nice.

Are there lyrics?

Do you have some?

Give me a couple days.

I'll try.

Excellent.

Are you gonna help?

I'm doing everything here.

You don't need any help.

Does it have a title?

"Goddess of the Music Store."

That seemed to go well.

"Go well"?

It was amazing!

She liked your song.

You got her number.

Yeah, I guess.

What if I don't like her lyrics?

You lie and say you do.

Oh, you're good.

I have one more favor to ask.

Name it.

Will you be the best man in our wedding?

Uh, please don't say anything to my parents.

I don't want them to make a big deal out of this.

Not a word.

Hey, where you guys been?

Music store.

That's fun.

Did you talk to anyone there? Mom!

That was a normal question.

So everybody knows?

I only told Mandy.

Well, I only told Mom and Dad.

That's everybody.

We're just excited for you.

Well, stop.

Sweetie, this is a big deal.

No, it's not.

I've been out with girls before.

I'm sorry.

Girls...

plural?

He doesn't have to tell us anything.

But should you have any questions or concerns,

just know your mommy is here for you.

All I'll say is...

it went well.

I look forward to learning more about her.

Her name, her religion, her age.

Oh, check her ID, people lie about that.

And now you love me.

Let it go.

So...

anyone have any big plans this weekend?

Actually, they're having a car show over at...

Not you.

I haven't spoken to her yet, if that's what you're asking.

Oh, well, what are you waiting for?

Maybe it's all moving just a little too fast for him.

Georgie said to give it a couple days.

Why would you tell him that?

He don't want to come off too eager.

Too eager?

He already wrote her a song.

Which I would love to hear, by the way.

Leave him alone, he knows what he's doing.

It's okay to take things slow.

When your father was courting me...

"Courting"?

It's like dating, but back

when people talked like this.

See?

Well, he still don't need to rush calling her.

When we met, you asked me out in the first five minutes.

Yeah, but Connor ain't me.

Do I have a say in this?

Hold on.

She gave him her number.

She wants him to call. And he will.

Or he'll wait too long and he'll blow it.

He should wait until he's ready, which might be never.

Come on, Audrey, lighten up.

Oh, don't act like you're not invested in this.

Of course I'm invested.

Stop making this about you.

It's about my baby and this floozy

who's trying to take advantage of him.

Where'd he go?

"Floozy"?

It means a slut, see?

All right, try it again.

What do you think's wrong?

I don't know.

Probably the fuel pump or the alternator.

Does it have gas?

That's a very good question.

Easy enough to check.

I should've gotten rid of this thing when I had the chance.

No, no. No, this is all gonna be worth it

when we're out there with the top down

and the wind blowin' through...

somebody's hair.

Oh, hello.

Hey. Uh, this is Chloe.

Hi.

Good to see you again.

You, too. I'm Connor's dad.

Nice to meet you, Connor's dad.

Nice to meet you, too.

Oh, my God.

I guess he called her.

Damn straight he did.

And she came a-runnin'.

- I'm happy for him. - Yeah.

Don't you?

Yeah.

Are there any instruments you don't own?

I don't own the Great Stalacpipe Organ

in Virginia.

I don't know what that is.

Uh, there's only one

and it's in a three-and-a-half acre cavern.

It plays actual stalactites.

I've never heard it, but

I bet it sounds beautiful.

You're a unique kind of guy.

Aren't you?

Very much, yes.

Is that the Casio I sold you?

Yes.

I sampled my niece burping.

How old's your niece?

It's not polite to ask a woman's age,

but 14 months.

Cute.

Not to brag, but I'm 316 months myself.

Yep, unique.

Hey, how's the car coming?

Good, good.

Did you get it running?

Nope, nope.

Will someone please go up and tell Connor that dinner's ready?

Actually...

Connor's a little...

busy right now.

Busy with what?

She's here?

Yep, and she's cute.

Oh, so you got to meet her and I didn't?

That is what happened.

Well... I should just go up and invite her to dinner.

Mom, no. Why, what's wrong with us?

Uh, well, nothing's wrong with us.

Oh, so I'm the problem?

What? I'm gonna embarrass him?

Good, you get it.

So did you write any lyrics for my song?

Some.

Really? Can I hear?

Sure, I guess. Excellent.

Let me know when you're ready.

Actually, can you not look at me while I'm singing?

Of course. Sorry.

Okay, go ahead.

♪ Now and then she's wondering

♪ What'll turn the tide

♪ All days the same ♪

♪ A waiting game

♪ A dream to come alive ♪

♪ What'll it take to uproot ♪

♪ Before it goes too deep... ♪

- Can I look at you, please? - Sure.

That's so good.

Thanks.

There's more.

Right.

And with one minute left

to go in the game, the score remains exactly...

They've been up there a while.

What do you think they're doing?

Well, he could be hiding the body.

Amanda.

They're probably just hanging out.

I never would've gone to a boy's room on a first date.

He's 26.

Did you ever have "the talk" with him?

Why would I?

Because you're his father.

And you're his mother. There ain't no rules.

Did she ever have the talk with you? No.

I most certainly did.

Oh, like, when you said keep your knees together

till the honeymoon?

It's not my fault you didn't listen.

She didn't listen, either.

Jim!

Mrs. McAllister!

You little floozy.

That had a little Steely Dan to it.

Thank you. Wasn't a compliment.

You got a problem with Steely Dan?

They're fine, to fall asleep to.

Steely Dan is the ultimate fusion

of classic arrangement and modern studio techniques.

Like what, the Ramones?

That first Ramones album is a work of art.

Sounds like it was recorded in an hour.

Who cares? They captured something.

Steely Dan captured sonic perfection.

Perfection is boring.

No, it's not. It's perfect.

Flaws are where the magic is.

- You actually like flaws? - I do.

Well, you're in luck, I got plenty of them.

I'm aware.

That was unexpected.

Sorry.

Okay, I'm good.

Can't believe this girl was in our house,

and he didn't introduce me.

Oh, just let it go.

Need I remind you that we didn't meet Georgie

until it was too late.

Well, that's 'cause you and Mandy don't have the...

best relationship.

But Connor and I have a good one.

Good, weird, whatever.

Doesn't it bother you that he went to Georgie first?

Nope.

You're his father.

I didn't talk to my dad about this stuff.

Come on, be upset with me.

Dang it, why doesn't my son

want to talk about girls and sex?

So much I want to share.

Never mind.

You see, son, when I make sweet love to your mother...

Oh. Enough.

Sure you don't want some coffee?

No, I'm good.

I toast a mean Pop-Tart.

Maybe next time.

There's gonna be a next time?

I hope so.

Me, too.

Bye. Bye.

I see you through the stairs.

Hi.

Yes?

Can we talk? About what?

About your friend who spent the night.

What if I don't want to?

Well, that'stoo bad.

Look, this is all just happening kind of fast, and

I-I don't want you to get hurt.

You realize I've slept with a girl before.

No! Why would I know that?

Okay, well, you're an adult,

so I don't need to tell you to be...

safe, right?

Are we seriously having this conversation?

I'm sorry. I'm just feeling protective.

I appreciate that.

Okay. Well, you're welcome.

I've seen what happens when people have babies and...

no offense... I don't want to ruin my life.

Hey, CeeCee is a blessing.

But, yeah, don't do it.