Original subtitles

welcome to cryptic tunes and my ultimate

compilation of funny Simpsons moments

sit back relax and get ready for nearly

3 hours of classic Simpsons

fun hello my name is Mr Burns I believe

you have a letter for me okay Mr Burns

uh what's your first name I don't know

happy birthday overlooked middle child

happy birthday to

me I thought you might want a snuggle

that reminds me seven ways to spice up

your

marriage Marge you have a nice body and

if you'd like to see me in a costume you

have only to ask thank you

homie hey what's so

funny oh Mar gr

up come on touch a death touch a death

touch a

[Music]

death in those days instead of being

wrapped in a hygienic package chocolate

was wrapped in a tobacco leaf and

instead of being pure chocolate like we

have today it was mixed with shredded

tobacco and they didn't eat it they

smoked

it Magic Johnson coming down the floor

on a fast break magic stops his feet

slip out from under it the ball flies

out of his hand hits the referee on the

head goes in the basket it's a

three-point play the Lakers win looks

like I ped a

[Applause]

[Music]

homer waiting a

car oh we could have seen a monkey

[Music]

every day same old cat I'll make it more

interesting hey everybody I'm a stupid

[ __ ] with an ugly face and a big butt

and my butt smells and I like to kiss my

own

butt that's one my dingling my dingling

I want you to play with my dingling this

act is over

M

salty oh are you stealing squishies H

there I'm not going to make it oh stop

talking crazy no no no no just do one

thing for me get M DOA

menoa you can use me I'm good I built a

lot of things around the house the spice

rack the bird

feeder the

jimere and we visit with heavyweight

champion drric Tatum who reminisces

about growing up in Springfield that

town is a dump if you ever see me back

there you know I really up bad mo mo mo

when Bart's done can we Mo to the movies

there's a mo of course all work and mo

play makes Mo a mo

[Laughter]

[Music]

mo mo hey

hey he

[Music]

what's the

matter kid I won't let you down I swear

to you when you come out of there the

first thing you're going to see is a man

with a good job yeah the

doctor Larry the

[Music]

looter all right Stick it to the

Man hey Mom did you say the love letters

dad sent you of course I save them

although actually there's only one and

it's more of a love postcard from some

Brewery he

visited maybe it's sever talking Marge

but you got a butt that won't quit they

got these big chewy pretzels

here

be5 get out of

[Music]

here and one here Charlie

[Music]

let's see it again in super slow

motion you're Daryl Strawberry yes you

play right field yes I play right field

too so well are you better than me well

I never met you but

yes I got it I got it

yes hey I call for that put a LD on it

Simpson there's no I in team some of

these guys have a bad attitude skip they

sure do

strawberry mingly get rid of those

sideburns what sideburns you heard me

hippie Dr Hibbert Ken griffy Jr needs to

see you immediately we think it's an

overdose of nerve

tonic good

Lord gigantism

mingly I thought I told you you to trim

those sideburns go home you're off the

team for good

clear

clear doctor he's gone this is the part

of the job I

hate no what you are not going to

perform that operation yourself but

Marge it looks so easy just like carving

a

[Music]

turkey you h H me I won't be in for the

rest of the week I told you my baby beat

me up hello I'm Kent Brockman and

welcome to another edition of smart line

are cartoons too violent for children

most people would say no of course not

what kind of stupid question is that but

one woman says yes and she's here with

us tonight Mrs Marge Simpson there she

is share and love and share love love

love share share share the and

[Music]

[Music]

please do not be alarmed our chefs are

just saying hello oh okay

hello beautiful language isn't it

Mark butts hey everybody I want to see

more

Bots oh wait a minute listen you little

scum sucking puss bucket when I get my

hands on you I'm going to pull out your

eyeballs when a [ __ ]

through he certainly broke up that

meeting right now I'm thinking about

holding another meeting in

bed all my life I have searched for a

car that feels a certain way

powerful like a gorilla yet soft and

yielding like a Nerf ball now at last I

have found

it assassin oh

125 bucks sometimes you got to spoil

yourself spoil yourself spoil yourself

but I can't afford to Simpson I order

you to buy those shoes okay blard you're

the voice

[Music]

no I think the baby might be yours oh

I'm sure it is doace but I'd like to see

you Pro it you treat me like garbage

that's because that's the way you love

it

baby oo mamia

nut if you'd like to buy some they're

only a dollar each oh so that's your

little plan get us a to then jack up the

price well you

win I've been wanting to tell you all

for years but I never had the nerve um I

don't know you my wife and your wife are

friends we met just 3 hours ago you

stink you and your whole lousy operation

stinks I quit Homer do you remember the

way you acted at the party last night

the way I acted so I said I must get out

of these wet clothes and into a drive

Mar

[Music]

Youk in the red trunks with the record

of 48 wins and no losses the Undisputed

champ of this house botling B Simpson

with a record of zero wins and 48

defeats oh correction humiliating

defeats all of them by knockout must you

do this every time Homer the human

punching bag

Simpson wait a minute wait I can't get

my get out of the way get over to the

[Applause]

[Music]

oh I'm so

lonely since my baby left

me I got no

money and nothing is

free

ooh aha got him

[Applause]

[Applause]

although the creature was ultimately

released the question remains who was

this Homer was it a man or was it in

fact the legendary Missing Link known as

Bigfoot can I have some

applesauce what do I tell the boss tell

him I'm going to the back seat of my car

with a woman I love and I won't be back

for 10 minutes

[Applause]

how could crusty been reading a magazine

if he can't

read hey hey this is not the lending

library if you're not going to buy that

thing put it down or I'll blow your

heads off hello this is Mr Samson did

your wife just call a second ago no I

said Samson not Simpson thank God those

Simpsons what a bunch of savages

especially that Big Ape father

m

m have you found a picture yet not one

that I want the public to

see a G

Q 7 close enough may you drive safely

and find true love would you like to

lose weight stop smoking learn the state

capitals Master hostage negotiations H

hostage

negotiations listen Tully we're ignoring

all your demands what do you say to

that of course there is the unpleasant

matter of the bill get to the point 1150

bones that's all I got broke again a

herb just like in real

life I guess you're just that much of a

businessman

oh now I bet you're all wondering what

lies under this sheet not really we

peaked inside while you were in the John

oh well here it is again my baby

translator

W I have soiled myself how embarrassing

I'm wishing with the door open and I

love

it dear Lord may your loving hand guide

Homer to the mattress square and

true college football diverts funds

badly needed for education and the

Arts is that true let's get

him let's get out of

[Music]

here my baloney has a first name it's h

o my baloney has a second name it's a

o hey h cut it out come on quit eating

me ow Nice Shot Carl no no

[Applause]

Captain Klingons off the starboard bow

again with the Klingons Mr Scott give me

full power it's no good Captain I cannot

reach the control panel prepare to be

blown away by Bang Bang

[Applause]

[Music]

Bar oh no here comes is the conservative

judge plead Insanity plead Insanity it's

not

working uhoh my heart just

stopped ah there it goes our tireless

safety Engineers crash test over 1,000

cars a

year hey wait that's not a dummy the

succeed bet is CLO hello I'm Mr plow are

you tired of having your hands cut off

by snow blowers and the inevitable heart

attacks that come with shoveling snow

uhhuh so remember call Mr plow that's my

name that name again is Mr plow Mr plow

is a loser and I think he is a

[Music]

boozer so you better make that call to

the

Mr PLO that name again is Mr PLO hello

I'm calling from delinquent Accounts at

kumatu Motors oh you want the Mr plow

who plows

driveways this is Tony plow you know

from Lever to

Beaver come on give me the

key these look like teeth marks I

thought there was chocolate

inside well why was it wrapped in foil

it was never wrapped in foil when the

working day is done Girls Just Want to

Have Fun that's all we really

want once we get the cats out of the way

it won't be too bad actually according

to the will the cats own the house you'd

be their

tenants I wish we lived in the Kitty

house

[Music]

[Applause]

we'll look at the courageous Korean

gymnast Kim Juan who made a perfect

dismount on what was later revealed to

be a broken

leg honey you really shouldn't eat so

much in

bed it's not good for your heart my

heart is just

F homie what is it just working the

turkey through

there it goes now I know I haven't been

the best Christian in fact when you're

up there blah blah bling I'm usually

doodling or mentally undressing the

female

parishioners well any who can I have

$40,000 we passed this card around at

work jeez thanks guys they had a hell of

a time replacing

you and we are back with more of people

who look like things

[Applause]

coming soon it's truck assaults the

movie starring Marlon Brando as the

voice of John truckasaurus new crazy car

I don't know whether they eat you or

kiss you am I turning you on no what if

I undo this button good night Homer what

if I talk like

this what if I sing to you I gave my

love a chicken it had no bone

M chicken

cold

biscuits

chicken

yellow mailman you're reading the wine

list sir very good beer goggles see the

world to the eyes of a

drunk wow you're charming the pants off

of me what did you say an Selma I said

take off those damn glasses I Am Woman

here in best too big to ignore and I

know too much to go back to

pretend I you've reached the Corey

hotline 495 a minute here are some words

that rhyme with Corey Glory

story

allegory montauri that's my collection

of furballs and stomach

acid you idiot you're trying to kill me

man

was now here's a clip from

1973 try to run try to hide Break On

Through To The Other Side

yeah well off to the plant then to the

duff Brewery uh-oh did I say that better

just think it I got to think of a lie

fast H are you going to the duff

Brewery only Dove fills your Q Zone with

pure beer

goodness so drink up and up and

[Applause]

up what does the future hold for Duff

let's just say we've got a few ideas of

our slave like what um I'd rather not

get into it right now why not all right

we don't have any ideas for the future

we got nothing happy

no gummy

beer do you ever hide beer around the

house do I

ever you ever drink to escape from

reality when I was

17 I drank some very good beer be I

drink some very good beer I purchased

with a fake

ID my name was Brian mck down with

sexism look at all those feminists you

thinking what I'm

[Music]

thinking yeah all

right d plan Lisa needs braces

Bullseye thanks a lot Carl now I've lost

my train of thought D plan Lisa needs

braces D plan Lisa needs braces Don

Homer my son he has a trouble with

the

MTO guys are always patting my bald head

for luck pinching my belly to hear my

girlish laugh H that doesn't sound like

they like you at all you know I think

you're right first thing tomorrow

morning I'm going to punch Lenny in the

pack of the

[Music]

head

ay h

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

what the hell was that a lot of people

know about The Grotto and the game room

of course but few know about the

laboratory the biosphere the Alternative

Energy Research

[Music]

Center

fascinating oh boy free trading cards

wow Joseph of

ARA 26 conversions in ad

46 wo a methusa rookie card goodbye

goodbye goodbye goodbye

goodbye my con Island baby that's my son

up there what a balding fat ass uh no

the Hindu

guy hi kids I love

you bar shop is in danger of growing

stale I'm taking it to strange new

places number eight uh number eight uh

number eight uh number eight uh with my

bab say your prayers

Simpson because the schools can't force

you like they

should ma these new finger razors make

heads dreaming as much fun is sitting

through church we have places your

family can hide in peace and security

Cape Fear Lake new horror field

screamville oo ice cream Ville and no

screamville they preparations for your

birthday have begun I won't get what I

really want no one

does happy

birthday Mr Smithers

[Music]

hey AO this bag of ice has a head in it

ooh a head bag those are Chuck full of

hey goodness he's going to have to give

me my own recording studio do all be

Patty Special Sauce lettuce cheese

pickles onions on sesame seed

bun you're drilling on the mic again

excellent dad do you notice anything

strange yeah his hair do look so queer I

heard that you was a boy Homer please

you know it's hard for me to make

friends oh Marge we should do this every

Thursday Marge I got sprayed by this

skunk oh look it's doing it

again would you uh care to dance M

quinbe what are you doing here I'm here

with my nephews oh that's

[Music]

nice Checkmate Mr

trampoline good afternoon and welcome to

the do what you feel Festival by the way

this young lady is not my wife but I am

sleeping with her I'm telling you this

because I'm comfortable with my

womanizing y

no she won't hold she's breaking

up all done if you survive please come

again what's like Bart

Bart give me

that oo floor pie

[Music]

run

B

Apple SMI is that too good I'm not sure

sir it was here when we moved

[Music]

in dance dance dance dance

[Applause]

[Music]

but I still stand by my hiring

policies get back to work

Stewart your appearance is comical to

me I'm a

nerd so am

[Applause]

I hey hom you're hallucinating again not

a good sign Mo I need your advice yeah

see I got this friend named Joey

Jojo Junior shabo that's the worst name

I ever

heard hey Joey Jojo think on sexy

thoughts think on sexy

thoughts well this is my

floor see you tomorrow

[Music]

it's a

sign so this stuff really works

certainly does oh well lots a

l oh Margie you came and you found me a

turkey on my vacation away from

worky hubba hubba I remember that

meeting and I have a photographic

memory legalized gambling is a bad idea

you can build a casino Over My Dead Body

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah for you it's

president meell behold the box of

mystery the cat goes in all right

[Music]

here yo check this out black guys drive

a car like

this yeah but white guys see they drive

a car like

this okay good book me a flight rent me

the glue and tell those dorks at the

Quicky Mart that boom I am out of here

I'm a DOT I'm gone okay what do you mean

I got to give two weeks notice what this

damn freaking no good

mother jeez is it true you once worked

96 hours straight oh yes it was horrible

I tell you by the end I thought I was a

humming bird of some kind oh yeah you

know I studied your old security

tapes but as for me I'm off to battle

aliens on a far away planet that sounds

like a good movie yeah yes yes a movie

Yes people we're in danger of losing our

funding America isn't interested in

space exploration anymore maybe we

should finally tell them the big secret

that all the chimps we sent into space

came back super intelligent no I don't

think we'll be telling them

that since they made me stop drinking

I've regained my balance and diction

observe I am the very model of a modern

major general live information vegetable

animala mineral oh that's nothing what

this there once was a man from n Tucket

who's

B I'd like you to meet the two

experienced astronauts who will

accompany the winner into space race

banion and Buzz Aldren the second man on

the moon second comes right after

first and we'd like to

ladies and gentlemen uh we've just lost

the picture but uh what we've seen

speaks for itself the Corvair spacecraft

has apparently been taken over conquered

if you will by a master race of giant

space

ants the walls are melting

again personally I think I'm

overdone woo you brought me a nacho hat

thanks

Ned Noto Nao

man all right what could be I'm not your

old man don't worry I brought my ring

Ronnie Reagan tape it always makes the

trip go

[Music]

faster you know something he did say

well

[Music]

alive hey Clinton get back to work like

me 5 23

SC I'm afraid your family doesn't want

you

back I do not miss Bart at all I am glad

he's gone as am i b shouldn't we wait

for the other babies before we open the

presents we didn't invite the other

babies Magie doesn't seem to get along

with the other babies

[Music]

that's not my mother I'll be back in a

jiffy can I come

too what possible reason could you have

against grandpa being in love if he

marries your mother Marge we'll be

brother and sister and then our kids

they'll be horrible freaks with pink

skin no over bites and five fingers on

each

hand now what you got to do if you want

to get a kiss is act real smooth and

make your move like

[Music]

this oh I see now what's that rule say

it

[Music]

cool you're not going anywhere until you

tell me what a wiy B is

quido uh a big dumb balding North

American ape with no chin and a short

temper P you when is this over it ain't

over till the fat lady sings is that one

bad enough for you

[Music]

son but you do know what happens when

you mix acids and bases right of course

I

do sorry

there must be some beer here somewhere

ah maybe in

here damn I need money our city is under

siege by a graffiti bandal known as

elbto police Sardis of a composite

sketch culprit if anyone has any

information please contact us

immediately cool man hey isn't that your

boy there torturing the

Sans well I sense greatness in my family

your family well it's a greatness that

others can't see but it's there and if

it's not true greatness we have we're at

least

average they say he craved himself from

a bigger

spoon ground deep in The Jungle primevil

by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane

asylum what can I doly

[Music]

gab I speak of a deeper wisdom the

problem Homer is that the mind is always

chattering away with a thousand thoughts

at once yeah that's me all right

Thank God It's

Friday

hello hello Hall of Famer Whitey Ford

now on the field pleading with the crowd

for for some kind of Sanity uhoh in a

barrage of pretzels now knocking Whitey

unconscious wow this is a this is a

black day for baseball

oh yes sitting the great leveler from

the mightiest pharaoh to The lowliest

Peasant who doesn't enjoy a good sit oh

man you are so right did you ever sit

like this yes yes that's it oh I could

go for one of those right

now I'd like to talk about a subject

that is very important to me me the Boy

Scouts of America have molded men for

over a 100 years and what are you H um

how's your wife Nancy Betty who cares

and to pay for it I'll give up the Civil

War Recreation Society I love so much

well home is out we got to find the new

general Ambrose Burnside and I'm not too

crazy about our Stone wal Jackson the

South shall come again teach us songs

and Magic tricks but I add no fat chicks

you kids don't know what you want that's

why you're still kids cuz you're stupid

just tell me what's wrong what the freak

can

show hey they're having open casting for

the voice of poochie you should try out

dad you have a funny voice I do not

haven't you ever listened to yourself on

a tape recorder I prefer to listen to

Cheap Trick well here say something

hey this is Homer Simpson saying howdy

to all the girls out there in radio

land hey this is hom Simpson

San Pento nose and voila mommy's

patented happy cracker snack

[Music]

platter I once was

lost but now am

found was blind but now I

[Music]

see well that was lovely Robert you'll

be supervising the construction crew oh

great whenever a woman passes by I

suppose it will be my job to lead the

hooting oh yeah shake it Madam Capital

knockers I'm going to look for the kids

I think I wet my

bed oh I love this Pedestrian Mall

there's practically no

traffic I don't think we should be

driving here the mayor's yelling at us

stop you idiot now excuse me little lady

wheelbarrow line is over

there o loneliness and cheeseburgers are

a danger mix

everybody everybody get naked come on

don't be stuck up it's going to be

great

w oh jeez this looks bad better turn on

the all wum

charm

play hello

Ries I've known your father since high

school and this is the cleverest thing

he's ever done besides he's only

breaking a silly 200y old law it is

silly March and look at all the money

I'm making W mom prohibition may be

unpopular but it's the law and we still

have go to your room

Lis you're out there somewhere Beer

Baron and I'll find you no you

won't yes I will W hold it this machine

is 2 centuries old better test it

first okay go ahead Mrs kopo and

Principal Skinner were in the closet

making babies and I saw one of the

babies and the baby looked at me baby

Ling you I don't think we're talking

about love here we're talking about seex

in front of the c h i l d r e n sex

cauldron I thought they closed that

place down um oh excuse me could you

tell me where I might find the burns

ooze sorry pops they don't put nobody's

on cereal

boxes here suppose this one looks a bit

like me

ketchup

ketsup

ketchup ketsup KET

[Music]

God eats like a pig I don't know pigs

tend to chew I'd say eats more like a

duck I'm sorry isn't that yeah that's me

all right and the guy standing next to

me is President Gerald Ford and this is

when I was untour with this Smashing

Pumpkins oh and here's a picture of me

in outer space You When in outer space

you sure you've never been and what do

you have to show for your lifetime of

sloth and

ignorance what everything a dreamhouse

two cars a beautiful wife a son who owns

a factory fancy clothes and lobsters for

dinner you're a fraud a a total

fraud it was nice meeting you

good morning fellow employee you'll

notice that I am now a model worker we

should continue this conversation later

during a designated break period

sincerely Homer

[Music]

Simpson oh God and this racing stripe

here I feel is pretty sharp agreed first

prize what where to go Homer you're

number one Homer but it this was a

contest for children yeah and Homer beat

their brains

[Applause]

out well I don't need safety gloves

because I'm

[Music]

Homer Frank Grimes or grimy as he like

to be called taught us that a man can

triumph over adversity I'm sure he's

looking down right

now change the channel

Marge that's our

Homer by 1964 experts say man will have

established 12 colonies on the Boon

ideal for family

vacations once there you'll weigh only a

small percentage of what you weigh on

Earth

slow down tubby you're not on the moon

yet

testing testing

[Music]

[Applause]

this place is just a jail for children

no jail can hold me

[Music]

[Music]

give me kutnik and phone bone I want to

see the drawings for the new kids and

the

Blake and where's my f pami sandwiches

why don't you lead us

son hey America you're so fine you're so

fine you blow my mind

America hello beautiful in your dreams

we'll see about

[Music]

that hello beautiful it's a shame what

school can do for no reason here's

a those were the

[Applause]

days that's damn fine coffee you got

here in wind Peaks and damn good cherry

pie Mrs Simpson physically your son is

as sound as a dollar I'm afraid Bart's

severe emotional dysfunction stems from

a deep-seated psychological

trauma sorry I don't have anything to

offer you unless you're a member of a

minority group exente

much I'm sorry

a s everyone's

gone little

B little

Le little

March and the rest I wonder what my life

would be like if I robbed the Quicky

[Music]

Mark I'll do it I'll Rob the Quicky Mart

all right put your don't I'll put the

safety

on oops guess it was already

on I better just put it

down no offense bomb but that was pretty

cool we can

wait come to

Papa it's clobbering

time you okay

Bart

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

yeah

what FL

I'll scratch you the hair the hair [ __ ]

loser Scag

[Music]

[Applause]

gag can I ask you about your dot what

would you like to know what's the deal

with that dot yeah can you see out of it

does it change colors when you're ticked

off you tell

me nothing yet this prestigious rod iron

security gates are bulletproof bomb

prooof and battering ram resistance now

then what happened to Johnny D he forgot

to lock him now what am my bed ju kilo

so a my Gates hey Johnny C gave me

those stop that's my

car hey that smells like regular she

needs premium dude

premium dude the home buyer's course

said always look inside the house before

buying well there it

is please don't tell anyone How I Live

folks any words for the Christmas Thief

if he's

watching yes Kent hello jerk we may

never find you and we should probably

all stop looking but one thing's for

sure you do exist nobody move or I'll

blow your heads off

[Music]

fishing fishing the exports of Libya are

numerous in amount one thing they export

is corn or as the Indians call it maze

another famous Indian was Crazy Horse in

conclusion Libya is a land of contrast

thank you go Apple go orange go

banana how are they

Ralph good they taste like

burning me like how the fly Li me FL a

Dicky wrong

time then you got these lady com Mi

talking about stuff that would embarrass

red fox God Rest his smudy soul who they

slept with what time they sit on the can

this is supposed to get you a

husband

[Music]

can hey

hey Mr President your welfare proposal

is nothing but a lot of technical jargon

and partisan rhetoric

and get off me Mr

President that's what you get for not

healing to the chimp brilliant brilliant

okay let's do another but this time try

to look scarier kind of

like gorgeous gorgeous baby that's it

that's

it you know fingerprints are just like

snowflakes they're both very pretty you

take a dash of dad a pinch of mom then

we bake for 9 months and M that's good

Billy Mr McClure what does DNA stand

[Music]

for by gum it worked I've awakened in

the

future Moon

pay what a time to be

alive we're losing power we're losing

backup power we're down a moodlight here

yeah they call her the cat lady people

say she's crazy just because she has a

few dozen cats but can anyone who loves

animals that much really be

crazy the old Union Pacific doesn't come

by here much anymore

[Music]

Mojo what have they done to

you pray for

Mojo they won't stop me from delivering

these Unice

pennies yes go pennies help the puny

children who need

[Music]

[Applause]

you I Surrender not so

fast there's my kite doing smiies oh

it's a soaring majestically sir you're

it you'll see about that after him

smithies

yeah you're not it G it's a

game oh a game push harder go past the

max reach over the top master your ass I

only eat food in bar form when you

concentrate food you unleash its awesome

power I'm told that's why I'm

compressing 5 lbs of spaghetti into one

handy mouthsize bar

hospital

[Music]

please ni some SK

so uh ain't you guys going to ask me

about my

hat he Carl what's with the hat oh what

this thing I got it down at the Museum

it's what the ancient Egyptians call a

[Music]

souvenir no

thanks no Homer wasn't a great man nor

even an adequate man and he certainly

never accomplished anything president

Lanny you have anything to say n all

right fair enough toss him in the hole

boys remember when you almost became

heavyweight

[Applause]

champ no finish him finish him

yes a Maggie this is genuine human hair

this is legal

right yeah sure whatever these drugs

will make the operation seem like a

beautiful

dream

ah hi everybody oh 4:00 a.m. now I'll

never get back

to Milla gorilla gorilla for sale hey

you you should not want to taking my

banana Mr

peees oh my God my middle name is right

behind that trub I'll finally know what

Jay stands for from this moment forth I

will be known as

Homer J

sson the ocean AB bounds with fearsome

creatures but none attacks its prey with

more Fury than the seaweed

shark the struggle is soon over and for

the first time ever our computer lab

actually has a computer in

it hi Lisa hi Super Nintendo

Chalmers I'm

[Music]

learing

[Music]

W woo hello sweet cheek

just remember you represent the office

of the mayor so always comport yourself

in a manner be fitting quick hon get

that

broad good work Simpson I couldn't be

happier with the way that went

[Music]

now if you'll excuse me my fu is just

[Music]

about there

goes uh oh

spaghetti oh man uh-oh Here Comes laen

Michaels pretend you don't see him ah

max power Trent said I absolutely must

meet you this is fabulous anyway Mar how

do you feel about the

economy please come in Maggie smells bad

and the cat wants something but I don't

know

what I'm almost done and tell Bart to

get out of my

purse cut me off will

you learn to drive

dimwit I sentence you to kiss my ass

hey anybody seen hommet today here there

he

goes

[Music]

eingang I'll start by turning the

knob gotcha

Miss oh my

God whoa look at that car burn does it

get any better than this not to me

[Music]

dad well there is one steak that's only

available by special request we call it

uh sirloin a lot it's the size of a

boogie board woo I'll have that one and

a drink meatballs very good sir take my

advice this one's not for greenh horns

green horns who's a green horn what's a

green horn it's an insult suck him dad

sock everybody oh humans are so

ridiculous he's not even halfway through

Walter and he's already

[Music]

hallucinating lousy drunks I'll show

them thank you for this microwave Bounty

even though we don't deserve it I mean

our kids are uncontrollable Helens

pardon my French but they act like

Savages did you see them at the picnic

oh of course you did you're everywhere

you're omnivorous oh Lord why did you

smite me with this family

look at that kids no fighting no yelling

no belching the dad has a shirt on look

napkins honey you have a problem and it

won't get better till you admit it I

admit this you better shut your big Yap

oh you shut up no you shut up no you

shut up oh shut up shut up shut up shut

up why don't you both shut up uhoh

there's your bell come along now all of

you no Doling now I'll get you after

school man but oh no no no he'll get you

after school son now hurry up it's time

for

class boy you sure taught me a lesson

woo thanks guys I guess now all that's

left is a hearty handshake let me help

you dry those tears

B you can't go on like this I know I am

disgusted with the way old people are

depicted on television we are not all

vibrant funloving sex Maniacs many of us

are bitter resentful individuals who

remember the good old days all right

here's the 411 folks say some ganger is

dissing your fly girl just give him one

of these

[Music]

we need someone to teach a course on how

to build a successful marriage I'll do

it anything to get me out of that house

away from all that nagging and noise of

a family of Love sh

La in America First you get the sugar

then you'll get the power then you'll

get the women

[Music]

we better find a motel and stop for the

night we don't need to do that much I'm

not tired I'm not tired at

all glad that was us cool personalized

plates barklay Barry Bert bort oh come

on bort mommy mommy buy me a license

plate no come along bort are you talking

to me no my son is also named bort mop

and Bucket Man to the exit of the

nauseates scratchies we need more bort

license plates in the gift shop I repeat

we are sold out of bort license plates

mayor Quimby supports revolving door

prisons mayor Quimby even released

Sideshow bom a man twice convicted of

attempted murder can you trust a man

like mayor quinby vot cob bom for mayor

[Applause]

[Music]

children that was our only ball there'll

be no team this year I don't want anyone

to give her a hard time just because

she's different no jokes no

taunting look that kid's got bosoms

who's got a wet to come here you butter

B don't make me run I'm full of

chocolate and now to honor America

here's crusty the

clown oh say can you

see

[Music]

light what that is the rarest gummy of

them all the gummy V Milo

[Applause]

do you in help candy

[Music]

boys percious

[Music]

Venus thank

you somebody had to take the the

babysitter home then I noticed she was

sitting on the gummy Venus so I grabbed

it off her oh just thinking about that

sweet sweet

candy I just wish I had another one

right now she was a university honor

student who devoted her life to kids

until the night a grossly overweight

pervert named Homer Simpson gave her a

crash course in depravity somebody had

to take the babysitter home then I

noticed she was sitting on her we we can

like grab her sweet can oh just thinking

about her I just wish I

had sweet no Mr Simpson don't take your

anger out on me get back get back Mr

Simpson no dramatization may not have

happened Simpsons Scandal update Homer

sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he

believes gives him sexual Powers I don't

know Homer Simpson I never met Homer

Simpson or had any contact with him but

I'm sorry I can't go on that's okay your

tears say more than real evidence ever

could no Mr Simpson a cat is a living

creature I don't

care now I'm going to grab me some sweet

no Mr Simpson that's sexual harassment

if you keep it up I'll yell so loud the

whole country will

hear with the man in the White House not

likely

see I think about weird stuff like what

would happen if ET and Mr T had a baby

well you get Mr E wouldn't you and you

know I think he'd sound a little

something like this I P who who doesn't

phone

home I doubt very highly that one Elixir

could bow so many Fantastic

properties let's say we amay out of here

and have a wild winging at the cyclotron

doctor anything you he

Professor Farm went bust after the cows

started giving sour milk something must

have spooked him

[Music]

good oh no you

don't Simpson 10 terrorist 8

Homer tell the story right

okay don't don't

don't

woohoo did you have to be so graphic I'm

going to make it after

all

[Music]

yes so what do you think of the lady

crusty mustache removal system now

Angelique it's CR terrific Johnny Unitus

but is my upper lip supposed to bleed

like this

probably steady

[Music]

dady this is the happiest day of my life

got it no shock for me oh

[Music]

yeah let me get this straight you took

all the money you made for Ching your

name and bit it against the Harlem Globe

truers Oh I thought the generals were

do he's spinning the ball on his finger

just take it take the

ball please to repeat again and I will

translate in for the elid which way does

the water turn in your toilet

die in the past I've brought you such

classic films as Homer in the shower and

Homer on the toilet and now I give you

the eternal

struggle relax fit my aunt Fanny stupid

duckers oh the belt is

buckled did you ever notice how men

always leave the toilet seat

up that's the joke you s

MCB well I won the belting contest at

work very nice

Homer well Camu can do but SRA is smra

so original how Dr yeah well

scoobydoo can Doo but Jimmy Carter is

smarter uh

stop uh

don't

don't don't oo don't this time don't the

PTA has

disbanded no no the PTA has not

disbanded

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

banded

[Music]

wo I'm worried about the beer supply

after this case and the other case

there's only one case left yeah yeah our

B is right yeah let's get some more beer

yeah hey what about some beer yeah B's

right stop wearing your backpack over

one shoulder we invented that copycats H

you copied us step over this line and

say that I'll kick your butt had

Nintendo okay here's how it goes I'm a

leader milhous is my loyal sidekick

Nelson's a tough guy Martin's a smart

guy and Todd's a quite religious guy who

ends up going crazy chocolate

microscopes you know these guitars that

are like double guitars you know more

rubber stamps

okay sir you're free to go good cuz I

got a hot day tonight our Day dinner

with friends dinner alone watching TV

alone all right I'm going to sit at home

and augle the ladies in the Victoria

Secret

catalog see us

catalog up and atom up and at them up

and at them up and at them up and at

them up and at them better

uhoh my eyes the goggles do

nothing looks like we're trouble for

that boy Jiminy jeliker radioactive man

we'll have to fight our way out are you

ready

yes before I can return your children

you'll have to complete a course called

family skills it teaches parents to

listen to their communication gotcha but

it's important to listen yes I know but

there's more to it than I have listening

skills Mr sson would you pleas shut up

judge soong

[Music]

[Applause]

y here's Jose

Flanders and this is Lord Fleck Flanders

charm a googly

Dooly cartoons don't have messages Lisa

they're just a bunch of hilarious stuff

you know like people getting hurt and

stuff stuff like that

[Music]

don't kid yourself Jimmy if a cow ever

got the chance he eat you and everyone

you care

[Music]

about you know smithies I think I'll

donate a million dollars to the local

orphanage when pigs fly

Marge tell Bart I just want to drink a

nice glass of syrup like I do every

morning tell them yourself you're

ignoring Lisa not Bart Bart thank your

mother for pointing that out Homer

you're not not talking to me and

secondly I heard what you said Lisa tell

your mother to get off my case uh dad

Lisa's the one you're not talking to B

go to your room wow Paul M cartney I

read about you in history class but

where's your wife Linda right here Lisa

whenever we're in Springfield we like to

hang out in appu's Garden in the shade

we met him in India years ago during the

Maharishi days I'm Sergeant Lonely

Hearts Club man I hope I will enjoy my

show l

[Music]

this is the worst place

yet oh my God look

at when I grow up I want to be a Lardo

on workman's comp just like

Dad I wash myself with a rag on a

stick I got to call a plant and warn

them

the fingers you have used to dial are

too

fat I heard your dad went into a

restaurant and ate everything in the

restaurant and they had to close the

restaurant hey my dad may have gained a

little weight but he's not some kind of

food craz

Maniac oh that's

raspberry

boring you want excitement sh this up

your

stocking so tell your folks bu me bone

storm or go to

hell this is great and all I've done is

enter my name thrill

[Music]

housee take it aard Store the store she

so rich she'll never know it's the

company's fault for making you want it

so much don't do it son how's that game

going to help your putting just take it

take it take it take it take it take it

Hello

Father Here I am at Camp Granada Mar is

Lisa Camp Granada you can do it auto you

can do it auto help each other out

that'll be our motto you can do it you

can do it make this spare I give you

free gelato then back to my place where

I will get your BL out Domo erato Mr

Robot God boy couldn't get a

strike it's me

n these uniforms suck Bart where do you

pick up words like that yeah on that

team sure it suck last night they're

just playing sucked I've seen team suck

before but they were the suckiest bunch

of sucks that ever sucked Homer watch

your mouth I got to go my damn wiener

kids are

listening

spend some T

three did your secret service goons ever

whack anybody George you know in my day

little boys didn't call their Elders by

their first names yeah well welcome to

the 20th century George I'll kick you

right out of the 20th century you little

pay to the order of Lisa 1 cent and and

no sense and now the old John Hancock

here we

go thank you I can't divulge information

about that customer's secret illegal

account oh crap I shouldn't have said it

was a customer oh crap I shouldn't have

said it was a secret oh crap I certainly

shouldn't have said it was

illegal ah it's too hot

today yes sir now get cracking on my

long division and don't forget to show

your work Simpson have it on your desk

in the morning sir Bart leave Simpson

alone Simpson I need to ride to the

library yeah I need someone to help me

with the midnight beard delivery uh your

job is to distract baronnie until it's

safely off the

truck oh my God beer delivery just sign

here oh no it's

you

Bo wi that grant me that dainty H in

marriage oh

Troy I

[Music]

will just a second

baby the comic book store is still

open save our seats we'll do hello

[Applause]

[Music]

oh Mom you're blocking in the TV if you

need something to do you can fill out my

form here parents occupation please note

Homemaker is not allowed as it is not

real work that's why you don't get paid

for

it I am a come on and me up I am hot let

us get out of

here don't worry I'll tell everybody you

are untouchable

[Music]

ha do you find something comical about

my appearance when I'm driving my

automobile yeah now

March hey everybody look at this it's

that boy who laughs at everyone let's

laugh at him

thank you thank you very

much who is playing with the London

Symphony

Orchestra come on people somebody

ordered the London Symphony Orchestra

possibly while High Cypress Hill I'm

looking in your direction

I

like John wils Booth entered drew his

gun and well that's it have a nice

summer everyone but what happened in

Fort steer was President Lincoln okay he

was

fine go home Ralph like you know

whatever like you know whatever hey

what's

happened okay okay okay not your fault

it's a bird thing you don't control the

birds you will someday but not now come

on Homer open the door for your Mystery

Date oo captain of the football team

he's a dream boat don't wait up

Marge okay bot your turn your

turn you got the

D hey he looks just like you po Dexter

let me have one of those porno magazines

large box of condoms a bottle of Old

Harper couple of those panty Shields and

some illegal fireworks and one of those

disposable enemas uh no make it too my

apologies sir but the sale of fireworks

is prohibited in this state and is

punishable by a follow me pretty cool

your mom to let us hang out here totally

not like my mom and she'd be budding in

with Rice Krispy squares and Tang

the

[Applause]

beer as a young boy I I dreamed of being

a baseball but tonight I say we must

move forward not backward upward not

forward and always twirling twirling

twirling towards Freedom would you mind

hanging my coat up on the wall please

mhm um let's see

[Music]

um relax Homer at Globex we don't

believe in walls matter of fact I didn't

even give you my coat h

you got a fresh sound it'll play well at

this school hey Bart do you have a best

friend yet cuz I've been looking for

someone to boss me around look lady I'm

supposed to be in the fourth grade

sounds to me like someone's got a case

of the sposed

US Warren

[Music]

okay let's see the

right just a second when you're ready

all right ready wait a

minute all right wait a minute just a

[Music]

sec okay hom he's tired he's tired now's

your chance nudge him nudge him

Society put Dre Tatum away for his

brutal crime but he's paid his debt and

now he's going to get revenge on Homer

Simpson y

reneer wolf castle ladies and Gentlemen

The Fan

Man oh cripes now I got to comb this

side

over uh

let's get ready to

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

rumble oh this guy's got more bread than

a prison meatloaf he's rich I tell you I

never seen a place with a walk-in

mailbox hey who am I talking to this

must be the son I've heard so much about

Larry you must must meet our daughter

the debutant she came out last spring

whoa put her back in she's not done yet

but seriously I'd love to have hair like

yours I just can't get the zoning

permits hey that reminds me Mom

Buckingham Palace called they want their

hat

back hey kids how about a hand for your

mom she's all right

yeah oh yeah thank

you a bloody end for Homer Simpson is

just one of several possible outcomes

according to our computer simulation dad

do I have to brush my teeth no but at

least rinse your mou out with

soda

Julius

Clancy Skinner seore mother

Cletus oh a Bonnie hey Lee check this

out nonstick

coating hello I'm Dr Hibbert I'm afraid

I'm going to have to amputate your

butt I know you from American Gladiators

your pyro only on weekends during the

week I'm Just Your Average working today

stunt man really go ahead break a chair

on

me wow

thanks what the hell is wrong with you

would you do me a favor when you get

back to class just give him this

[Music]

note guess who likes you

Bart didn't do anything do I hear the

sound of budding in it's got to be

little Lisa Simpson Springfield's answer

to a question now one asked and as for

you I don't know you but I'm sure you're

a jerk hey I've only been here a few

minutes what's going on hmer you are the

worst human being I have ever

met hey I got all pretty

easy take that Granny oh hide in the

closet oh no deadly moth balls dud GR

me you have reached the level of

ungrateful grandchild try again if you

dare ooh gella the Conqueror the

granddaddy of them

[Applause]

all forget you pal thanks for

nothing so I say forget you pal thanks

for nothing and I stor right out of

there you are so beautiful to me

[Music]

very good Earth

boy

co excellent Mr Simpson well simpsy you

up for another wave all right Bur

you are my

brother I love

you and yet I feel a great

sadness in my

[Applause]

[Music]

bosom oh Lord on this blessed day we

thank thee for giving our family one

more crack at togetherness

[Music]

[Applause]

amen I'm going to make it I'm going to

make it wo

i no

no go we'll just have to wait until

someone

comes anyone anyone at all oh mil house

is selling seeds and he's coming this

way oh the birds got

him get that truck out of

here you mean it at Patrick too it ate

everybody what about Erica it ate

everybody

stupid or if you're not into chicken no

no I'm into chicken how about wild boar

or swordfish for

hippo

hippo how's your father's project coming

along I think he's almost done

dad chew with your mouth closed you're

losing your

mystique Lisa all great artists love

free food check out Jasper

John you squeal on me I'll kill you what

hey you're mean B3 you Suk my

battleship

g52 you suck my battleship

don't you want to be free like the eagle

oh I don't live here I'm just dropping

off Indian casino pamphlets vote Yes on

Prop

27 you know the door was open Chief

break everything Damn the

Torpedoes what he say put on our tuxedos

I want some toito no more nap time no

more Bingo you can do whatever you

want let's play Bingo yeah let's play

bigo you Suk my

[Laughter]

battleship hey canot Homer on the

Japanese Channel if that's Homer then

who the hell's been putting beers on his

tab no

woohoo um that boy ain't

right stop about don't stop soon be here

check it out Dad you can print out the

headline from the day you were born oo

pointless

Nostalgia I like pizza I like bagel I

like hot dogs with mustard and beer I

get the picture all e egg plann I could

even eat a baby

dear who's that baby dear on the LA

enough far already no one shared you for

years all right almost done my little

friend soon you'll be a nice cool

R hey ladyy sending some outgoing mail

you know it I'll probably send some

tomorrow I hear

that a cooling tank just blew and

they're taking Lenny to the hospital oh

no not Lenny not

Lenny hey Carl check out the overhead

scoreboard

K Brockman live from Barney's bolama

where local pin head Homer Simpson is on

the verge of a perfect game hey there

was no accident at the plant Dad just

wanted to go bowling he shouldn't have

deceived me but I'm just so relieved

Lenny's

okay wait up guys I got to empty my

grass bag get away from my store your

young hoodlums and what if we don't

pops he's got a bro get out of here get

the pennies go

go I don't understand I could swear it

was right here yeah right mop top and I

made

Sullivan really big shoe no no I can do

it better really big shoe R big got buto

soft and cuddly with lots of Firepower

oh yes ha funzo funzo funzo if you don't

have funzo you're

nothing I'm sorry Gary there's no longer

a place for you here what you talking

about Miss Nagel that is so adorable

you're

rehired sucker I knew exactly what she

was talking

about hey

come

on that suit's a little revealing isn't

it well it allows for maximum Mobility

feels like I'm wearing nothing at all if

you ever get into trouble all you need

to do is feels like I'm wearing nothing

at all nothing at all nothing at

all stupid sexy

Flanders he's kicking old

school operator get me Thailand t

i and so

[Music]

on H that's terrific Duncan you're 10

for 10 now let's look in the rule book

and see if horses can play in the

NFL just yesterday a pooh was a lonely

Bachelor yes thank God those days are

over and the van hton were enjoying a

storybook marriage yeah lots of story

books have witches shut up Kirk sorry

and the next 20 callers will get this

album of Museum noises now your music

room can sound just like the

Metropolitan Museum in New

[Music]

York outstanding M I can see the house

is falling apart without me so here's

the New Order Bart you're the man of the

house Lisa I'm promoting you to boy

Maggie's now the brainy girl toaster can

fill in for Maggie and Marge you're a

consultant oh who am I kidding the truth

is I'm no missionary I work in a nuclear

power plant ooh tell us all you know

about nuclear

power well I'm off to

Market Mar you're making a complete fool

of your oh it's just Barney

[Music]

get up get

up oh he'll never dance with her she'll

have to settle for some Mexican

Millhouse I shall dance with

her Galo once again I'm a sugar my own

churo got a brother named Billy and my

teeth looks do it break it down

[Music]

now what on the street as you dumped

dawsome he's history gender Wiley sees

me with that new exchange student hola

Harmony now some unpleasant news I have

learned that someone in this room is a

Squealer we've n it down to either

Johnny tiit lips or Frankie to Squealer

okay it's me I can't help it I just like

squealing it makes me feel big I said I

was sorry all right fair enough Class

Act sorry you're such

[Music]

jerks and now Branford marceles will

play using Lisa's very own saxophone

don't touch it they can clone her from

the spit good luck Milhouse

blue Spanish

Eyes Teardrops are Falling from your

Spanish

Eyes maybe we should talk to a financial

planner Financial

Panther Mr Simpson you're a dollar

overdrawn get him

Shiva my your posture looks

terrible I'd like my fee

please hey I know you're not a deaf mute

Mr Simpson and we've been talking for

the last 20

minutes wow I never seen you have so

many lunch beers before Homer oh I

concur word to day

calendar is this enough dirty dirty

money why it most certainly

is Mr carington something quite

wonderful has happened hello hello a yes

Rusty the clown ah Springfield gets the

lamest balloons are you kidding there's

Funky Winker Bean over here

funky look it's a noid avoid the Noid he

ruins

pizzas woo a dancing

Jesus here it is everybody the world's

greatest website

hello hello hello hello hello we could

remove the crayon for you it could

vastly increase your brain power or it

could possibly kill you increase my

killing power

eh let's do it question yes Nelson a

[ __ ] says what not being a [ __ ] I

wouldn't know

however what ladies and gentlemen I give

you your

[ __ ] home is the guy who rigged up my

pants with this special Cod piece comfy

isn't it oh yeah it provides the freedom

and protection I so sorely need yeah if

it doesn't fit you must

equip therefore I shall resign the

president it's one small step for man

one for man is the manager here well I'm

kind of the co-manager

tough break tots I need a man who

answers to No One a full

manager Hy

[Music]

muchi I really hate to be a snitch don't

worry your yellow bellied ratting will

be held in the strictest confidence well

in that case my neighbor Homer released

a radioactive ape in my house it's uh

it's taken over the whole top floor

look if you want me to turn just point

that's how it's one way are you here to

make a bust of some kind no we're just

uh checking to make sure you're having a

crime-free morning as far as I know hey

you know what would be a real crime

what's that Lou uh letting that tennis

court go to waste would you boys like to

play tennis why yes yes we would

uh-oh you know this is such a beautiful

day I don't know why we don't operate

outside more

often time of death

10:15 take that in the

face you knocked his black off come with

me well let me get this straight Mr Duff

the Isotopes are not moving to

Albuquerque absolutely not so are you

calling Homer Simpson a liar well we

have obtained this footage of him with

his pants on

fire don't support a team run by Liars

Liars they're secretly planning to move

to Albuquerque that's crazy it would

have been on a talk radio show like

sports chat or sportszilla and the

jabber jocks yeah you little

[Music]

new feelings brewing in Duff man what

would Jesus do hey

hey oh yeah and now the estrogen Network

presents afternoon

[Music]

Yak

man canceled when do we get to see the

animals in the morning little one now

now good night and don't let the bed

bugs

paralyze homie did you remember to tip

kangi no he did not Abra

cathra dang you could be one of them TV

magic quers Now You See Me Now you

don't oh it's just like my

dream that was terrible let's see you

will invent a humorous toilet lid you

will find true love on Flag Day your

store is being robbed upo are you

getting all this

Lisa I don't

know so I foreclosed on her mortgage and

took her

cats great

Heavens it's one of those nude female

fire stations I'd always be second place

to some kitten stuck in the tree let's

go Smithers

SM you're a nice guy Monty you're always

laughing and tenting your fingers I like

that excellent and you're so upbeat you

think everything's

excellent Mr

s bring me a

dream make the cutest that I've ever

seen look we're learning to work

together that's great but so are the

wolves and

[Music]

cougars

uhoh you know tomorrow is the annual

Springfield formal event we weren't

going to go after last year's

unpleasantness that donkey is such a bad

influence on

you 5:00 I better get home for dinner

well come back anytime partner to the

laundry

room here we are

[Music]

is this the Dairy

Queen Jon of Arc you were accused of

heresy Witchcraft and that man told me

you pushed

[Music]

him look it's the giant statue of Christ

on corado wow it's like he's on the

dashboard of the entire country look the

room came with a fruit hat hey and a

mini bar hat I'm jakita banana and I'm

here to say I will eat this toone and I

will not

pay look at chm he is so

high hey Shimp is hemp spell backwards

and auto is auto

backwards now I'm scared tonight when

dinosaurs get drunk h

oh I've been there

man what does he want now if he wants to

sleep with us forget

it kill you I kill him people I'm going

to kill you too

you want some cornbread Mr

Jingles well you can forget it because

I'm going to kill

you all right I've come up with a

composite sketch of my Prime Suspect

behold dad that's Bart

exactly look at him over there eating

that Apple what's he planning

what all right Fat Tony your little game

is over hey how'd you find us one of

these ferrets is wearing a

wire you're not a pet and you're not a

friend you're nothing to me now Bob I

know you're concerned but don't worry I

have operatives working the crowd so uh

you're from Tempe I'm from Chicago WA

I'm so drunk I'm going to puke you me

get that feeling beautiful

[Music]

from the widest gley to the deepest

trench holds Define who we are and where

we are going or considers the dolphin

Nature's Most filmed creature even they

have holes blow

holes welcome to the electric car of the

future sponsored by the gasoline

producers of

America hello I'm an electric car

I can't go very fast or very far and if

you drive me people will think you're

gay one of us one of

us right near wolf Castle my

exboyfriend sour leap and take me back

if Tears Could burst through my muscular

ducts I would cry like a baby who who is

just hit by Hammer where is everybody no

one usually shows up unless there's a

vult well then why are you here I steal

stuff when everyone's

gone my Christmas shopping's

done I wouldn't go to jail the legal

owner of this plant would Canary

murns this entire plant is in his name

[Music]

[Applause]

uhoh sounds like some bad eggs are

cooking up trouble M Bad

Eggs I'll be banning 352 in the majors

yes puzzle pece come out and play yay

hey what's this Mar's memory

chest a mar saved all this stuff from

when we were going out the fake business

card I made up to impress

her that will be $100 I see

[Music]

what's gotten into you man Andrew I

wanted to show you something in the make

out room uh makeup room I'll be right

there in a minute

babe looks like I just bought some

property on boner

way in all my years of being a judge

I've never seen such a flimsy case are

you sure cuz we've brought you a lot of

flimsy cases like that goat we accused

of incoming tax evasion I still think he

was

[Music]

guilty one boy to go please easy on the

freckles a 10-year-old can't adopt a

child oh you think he's for me you know

the orphan is for my folks they can't

have more kids it is so sad a real life

jaws bit off my dad's wiener holy moly

if it's your lucky day you'd be a fool

not to take advantage of it there's no

time I need you for the wedding

toast my

hair now let's get that ticket we ran a

subway station no the Underground

Railroad was a bunch of people who

helped slaves escape to Canada there

were no actual trains and it wasn't

underground then they should have called

it the above ground normal Road good

point of that before very good Barn you

know Marge M and I had a fight right

before she

died Netty when you're drying your hands

with our monogram towels can you use the

NF towel not the MF you know maybe I

should use a towel marked b d d big

deadly deal oh man you girls ruin

everything even vampires hey vampires

are cool Outsiders who love girls who

hate cheerleaders no they're all about

chomping neck and they don't put product

in their hair like this loser hey boy

your mother thinks I'm working on the

car dad that is genius but I need some

advice Homer I thought you were fixing

my

[Music]

brakes so what do you think I think

we're going to blow it up and let the

bleeding heart liberals ask questions

later well now why can't it be blown up

by a woman of color a terrorist plot

enough radioactivity was released to

create 17 Hulks and a Spider-Man here is

an artist's conception quite disturbing

that blond girl thinks she's smart like

G dark hairs again with the blonde why

in the world with the color of the hair

on someone's head have anything to do

with the intelligence within yeah you're

so right I'm smart too you're leaving

with me would you rather I bring someone

else on the world's most romantic

train oh

Helen is that a train in your pocket or

are you just happy to see me both top to

bottom left to right reading things is

out of sight speaking of out of sight

you got to hide me I slept with the

lighting director's wife

and to find an entrepreneur you want to

lend to C on my nose if you can catch it

it's up here oh down here too slow okay

I'll hold spill no I won't got it

[Music]

goodbye come on out birdie follow the

sound of my voice voice voice

voice come on just one more drink Marsh

happy New

Year we're going to plant you in fat

Tony's gang as an undercover informant I

can't go undercover with fat Tony he's

met me I've been in his house I was

briefly his

conary conly

canol Robert Duval here's how it goes

down I rough up Louie then you stand up

to me earning his trust but I haven't

earned his trust if it's based on a lie

enough of your dim store morality what's

a dim

store so Bart the little Dickens was

going to set off an explosion to break

us up can you believe it

actually we can believe it what are you

talking about your son always was the

Bad Apple of the bunch you know nothing

about my son and even less about apples

so what do you

think she wants an honest answer what do

we do I don't know I don't know we could

fake a stroke last time we faked a

stroke it led to a real one we're

running out of time people we need an

answer and it has to be great

so chicken then the dubie of Destiny

changed their lives forever when police

burned marijuana seized from the Buddy

Rich Orchestra in a nearby

lot so you know uh check your barometer

thermometer an anomer why does

everything have to have anomer on

it hey duck where is everybody I told

them not to come why didn't you tell me

not to come home to emphasize the

seriousness of this situation I'm going

to turn my chair around

backwards does this mean you like me yes

no I don't know it means that that life

is full of unexpected things and you

should never give up and you're cute in

the

Moonlight everything's coming up

Milhouse

so uh where's your husband buried

probably between the Hooters of a coat

check girl in Shelbyville ha oh boy that

laugh is infectious ha ha that's

fun yeah give me a kiss nty boy that's

right kiss all the men that have ever

made their way to Edna's adventurous

tongue including me I shall be discreet

in my tweets but brutal in my blog when

made love in so many

elevators who whoa whoa whoa whoa no

leave it until we all spook you on

Edna's face I pipe down back there

you'll get your chance oh come on M quit

hogging her

face I'm just a guy who saw what needed

to be done and did it oh speaking of

which let's get these eggs back in a jar

what the a quiet unassuming security

guard who foiled a robbery at a local

Tavern has seen in this Taiwanese

animated dramatization

you'll be studying with me now same

garbage different

dumpster we'll start with American

history now I'm sure you know who these

gentlemen are dollar bill guy $ five

Bill Guy sex guy will Ferell black

guy two candy

[Music]

[Music]

uh hello yes hello Miss Wyoming I I'll

have to climb your Grand Tetons another

night yeah the breast joke I I I served

it up why won't he love me

go away no kid should see his hero sunk

so low well you're not exactly my hero I

see you more as a cautionary tale what

I'll show you as a cautionary

tale I'll show

everybody crusty you're getting the best

reviews of your

career yep I'm back on top and this time

I'm not blowing it on cocaine for My

Horses they start well then they get

paranoid around the third turn you are

the kind of ill-informed gas bag this

network cannot get enough of we only

have 11 now not to mention our liberal

straw man oh the plain and simple facts

is I'd love to raise your taxes and make

your children

gay I'm just trying to spare their

feelings those freaks have no feelings

even baby never cry

She's A Freak what baby does that hold

it right there the jerk in the glasses

did

everything need

inhaler this is the best I'm sorry party

Homer ever thrown who the hell are you

come with

me hey the first time we lost Maggie was

in this store Bart here's my thank you

gift what could a girl have that I

oh oh my God it's just like

dad's hey this is all about

board the three of us are going to the

most romantic restaurant in

town this car is so clean I'm not

getting flea bites on my ankles I have

bug bombed the car for my

lady that's it I am off of this stuff me

too

sweetheart K yes

Mama no

exceptions nobody likes to be rejected

and it never gets easier until you can

drink because then you can express your

unfiltered Feelings by drunk dialing

observe hey it's me again he's there

isn't he well I hope this doesn't sound

weird but I'm inside your closet what's

the matter darling thanks for asking

Duchess I'm sitting here waiting for a

girl that's never going to show up what

makes you so sure girls don't like me I

don't really like them yet either but I

think I'm going to there's a Storer

Brewing down there uh the long slow line

to leave the theater forms on the

left and we have to walk by a drum

circle BM more annoying personage

theater in the

round and Haile

and the Lord saw what he had made and it

was good I forgot to feed my

jackass thank you you're welcome kids oh

no problem I'll just cut to my clean

material a farmer's daughter now like

man from Nantucket no bring out the

monkey Buko was happy without me he had

become her

dog oh H me I'm so sorry well that's

just the way dogs are the most disloyal

Unfaithful creatures God ever made it's

all good

bro hey where's Bart oh uh well he

wanted to be here but I'm going to

decrease the volume of my voice and

Mumble so you can't really understand

what I'm saying and I'll just keep doing

it until the subject you're all I have

left I trust you completely and I you

let me run your credit card to celebrate

that trust

okay this should do it thank you Mr

arras sorry Maggie I just don't have the

touch

today

uh Carl Carlson brought that blue tape

you know that makes you really look like

you know what you're doing you peel it

off you got that super straight line

there and when he brings a sixpack to my

house he doesn't take the extras home

with him Carl Carlson leaves them in the

fridge maybe sometime we could watch it

in the same room chat room room room

show's

over that turned allra in a Jeff I can

still hear

you I can still hear

you here is the

clim what everything's been bu

building to there's a question I must

pose I have something for you no not

[Music]

that these are great seats you can hear

the player swear from up here I'll kick

your ass Milhouse B me

another what are you doing it's

imaginary

on I got to go I'll see you

[Music]

later

[Music]

noberto

no they smoke they smoke they smoke and

talk and smoke smoke smoke smoke talk

talk

talk

skner skner you are feeling pretty

[Applause]

[Music]

smug Welcome to our daycare center all

girls please move to cotie

quarantine give us your eggs I'm a boy

we said

eggs yes remember this gift the

executive stress ball one more squeeze

and you're fired now I feel more

stressed than

ever human young are born with the

ability to count Valentine's and Danny

realizes he's been snubbed past

generations of children were used to

rejection but today's kids raised in a

climate of video games and instant

messaging are fragile weirdos hey

where'd she go good good you held your

tongue there because hey where'd you go

doesn't anybody want me to give him

advice okay there Foo when you see that

squirrel outside at first you play it

cool you understand well GMOs are

resistant to pests disease and drought

it's just possible that GMOs can

actually end world hunger

I say let's get these GMOs inside our

children Pronto way ahead of

[Applause]

you figurines get your porcelain

figurines could you take a picture of me

with my family

M oh would you take another for

safety oh I think my eyes were shut in

that

one now can you take Pi one with my

husband's camera they're all ugly

because you're in them I'm a kid

again I'll save you why did you save me

we Outlaws have to stick together Outlaw

You stolen bowling shoes 3D glasses

crusty standy and this cage for my pet

who what do you feed him my ADD meds

[Music]

huh Fat Tony that's right fat Homer hey

dear Die Hard you rock especially when

that guy was on the roof PS do you know

Mad

Max deal hit me hit me hit me

buston well got to go see you in

heaven Mommy he's everything you said he

was lady you're good gorgeous you make

Dame Edna look like a dude why thank you

you're all right love best wishes for a

joyous holiday season now in the spirit

of the season start shopping and for

every dollar of crusty merchandise you

buy I will be nice to a sick kid for

legal purposes sick kids may include

hookers with a

cold now back to the year Santa got lost

starring Jimmy Stewart is the voice of

Mr Mailman Santa wasn't an awful pickle

bit next had given drugs to the reindeer

and they were no darn good so Santa

placed to call to Secretary of Defense

Melvin L this just in Santa Claus is

dead or he might as well be because

there's an even fatter man who's holding

families at nice Point Homer Simpson

seen here in this retouched photo

pathetic Flanders thinking he can buy

people's love with thoughtful gifts cool

Mr Flanders gave me a crusty brand

operation

game oh you just tweezed my wing you're

a double bacon genius

burger and just a little

[Music]

drunk let's just say that on this day a

million years ago a dude was born who

most of us think was magic but others

don't and that's cool but we're probably

right amen

[Music]

recile today is the birthday of our Lord

Jesus Christ then how would we ever get

to see Camelot will Millie watch the

movie on tape is that better to me Ralph

wigam is Sir

Lance If Ever I would leave you it

wouldn't be in

summer Hostess Twinkies I heard if you

age them for 10 years they turn to

liquor kids go ride bikes for a while

huh yeah you heard your

mother Mr Bo

Jangles Mr

Bojangles we're all

Bojangles who killed po

Jangles maybe it was you

this dermal magnifier will show the

extent of the

damage so juveniles who know how to Fox

Trot are 10% less likely to commit a

double homicide who conducted this study

the Institute of sh of fat face homie

you know I'm usually good for a tri XX

Throwdown but between those kids and

going to Uncle Tyrone's we can't be

alone We're Alone Now you're never alone

in this crap Shack well you

little welcome back to promiscuous

idiots Island on Fox the home of

promiscuous idiots last week on pii our

billionaire Bachelor gave five lovely

ladies a rose of continuation and he

hurled a rock of rejection at anyone

displaying intelligence character or

ethnicity thank you

Nelson Cherry smells Cherry smells

stinky all the way s s s s s

open why won't you acknowledge our L

child ER D is not my baby ER w I'm not

going to grow up oh yes you are why in

The Right light you're starting to get

your own muszle I thought it was

chocolate milk yeah that's how it starts

Oh Danny

Boy the pipes the PIP are

calling for a loan this big you'll have

to put up your house as collateral put

up my house but I just paid it off what

would Mar say do whatever you have to do

to save Mo I love my homie okay honey

I'll do it what's going on here nothing

nothing you can make a woman very happy

someday wow for real SE it's true you'd

be quite a catch if you just shower and

shave and stop swearing under your

breath a thanks M know it all [ __ ]

Lisa could you pass the

salad and it's James with the

steel Super Bowl Halftime Show sponsored

by the new Ford pickups City Bank and

Mo's Tavern how could you afford this I

hustled a lot of pool uh hey you want to

play I got to warn you I ain't that good

all

right sucker

who's the sucker now huh Bart do you

have anything to say my sister has no

sense of humor I'm sure you understand

it's why you became a judge instead of

finding a husband I have a husband what

is he blind and deaf just as the end of

the day can bring great Beauty so too

can the end of menstration be a time of

Radiance and

celebration sure you may experience mood

swings loss of desire and private

dryness but don't worry you can still do

everything that you did before

everything including having children

ma'am we're trying to make a video here

something don't feel right usually when

there's a jailbreak there's electricity

in the air like the Calm before a summer

storm or right before a heavyweight

fight mine's more

poetic sorry I'm late Lisa I was at the

gym totally gunning my lats just gunning

them oh man the deposit on this tux was

200 Reagans here's what really SS the

Dale yo yo yo slide your green into the

machine and don't expect any change dog

AB c d e f

g how I wonder what you are thank you

[Music]

you may inside come I got five b of

cappuccinos for Neds premades

flers that's odd I could have sworn I

just heard someone shriek my name you

heard nothing oh that's

better this is awesome black God rules

oh let it

shine we tried to break up your parents

and we broke up mine want to call my

therapist and tell her how you feel

hello Dr

Wexler stop calling me I'm on my

honeymoon yes that weird kid again

oh how

cute he tried to stay up but he just

couldn't make

it so what setting is that fan

on

medium I would have guessed

low you would have guessed wrong bman

bman walk it bombard

bombardment I caught it I'm

safe son are you okay I guess

bombardment come

on Bonnie how do you keep getting back

in I'm a drunk I don't know nothing

about how I do

anything just

[Music]

hey monkey eat tranquilizer

dart Bart I told you no television till

you do the dishes and I do not call that

doing the dishes

he has released the Bulls from the

stadium thank God I am up

High please know I have a wife and three

girlfriends oh dad we'll miss you so

much I'll miss you kids too attention

India Air flight 57 now boarding first

class small children and fat guys that's

me women are as smart as men why a woman

invented Liquid Paper well do you know

what a man invented actual paper well a

woman also invented the windshield wiper

which goes great with another male

invention the car here's me fighting

with former President Bush me fighting

with current President Bush and here's

me showing a bag of apples who

boss carpool Nelson just a sec I got to

finish my science project

whoa squirrels don't like rocks I'm a

cotie eater I've been one all my life I

like the coties so much I have a cooe

[Laughter]

wife we left plenty of food so you won't

starve oh thank you I was talking to the

cat we brought him in by the boatload

day and night then one day they well

they were gone maybe you just overfished

them maybe they unders spawn maybe you

killed them all well maybe the fish

killed themselves maybe you should be

ashamed of yourself well maybe you

should marry

milhous yeah that's right I know about

Milhouse well at least they left your

underwear on that was nice of them I

think the hook is touching my brain

Bobble Punam Pacha package board baby

bortle bortle bortle

[Music]

om want you to meet my crew it's my

first mate Billy and this is FAO yeah he

just plays with that knife all day and

night it's my

thing great man now I need a new thing

are you sure Captain the barometer don't

lie right now listen if a storm were

coming my trick knee would be acting up

H Dear God

if this works I'll go faster than any

10-year-old has ever

gone mine has a cup holder B that's a

blow hole you're a blo

[Music]

hole no boy up up

up now let's see 20 minutes at 300° is

the equivalent of 5 minutes at let's see

if you

1200° now to make the folded index card

that goes in front of the

cake how about a smooch

kaboy here comes the mouse what's his

name that was me that done that but it

ain't enough so here's this that's what

you get for uh I don't know messing with

my wife roll over and and tell James

Carville the news Springfield voters

have overwhelmingly rejected the major

candidates of both parties in favor of a

WR in 8-year-old Ralph wigam shockingly

this new face is now favored by 53% of

likely voters a new front runner has

been crowned

compassionate

[Music]

tough curious these are all words Ralph

wigam doesn't know but he doesn't need

to know them he lives them every day

Homer Simpson I know a lot of you from

church and market and such and I'm not

much for talking but seems to me in Hard

Times Like These that we Americans come

together so I'd say we roll up our

sleeves and fake a disaster to trick the

federal government out of relief money

since the dawn of parking lots man has

thought to stuff his guts with food and

alcohol in anticipation of watching

others exercise what child birth is to

women eating trunk Meats is to the be

wanged who's a favorite TV clown who

likes the clown around k r u s d y hey

quit stepping on my solo you creepy

little show monkeys H

you hey he went into a construction site

that's a hard hat Zone

you sure this is safe sure I got my seat

belt on B you J

Simpson hey John Wayne have you heard

about stock swapper

toorgle Pilgrim I hate transaction

fees

F Red Dog this is mustache 1 we have

possible male female interaction be

prepared to terminate inappropriate

contact ready with the ice water lock

Ono his wiener we have wiener lock

lemonade we want Lemonade don't worry

folks our Master Chef is stirring up a

fresh

batch must leave quietly

now drive back to the clubhouse and

order me a Tom Collins with a virgin Tom

Collins for me virgin what are you a

girl want to go to prom with me well I'm

engaged to the quarterback but

yes forget it Marge a girl like you

could never land a Homer Simpson

wonderful job son just Stellar how did I

do 96 what did I get wrong several

answers several that's more than a few

and almost a bunch Bart because of your

Superior intellect no wait I AED the

math part right because I run along

now I'll tell you what I want what I

really really want so tell me what you

want what you really really want I'll

tell you what I want what I really

really want so tell me what you want one

question remains why did you come here

because I cleverly did do the answer to

Springfield's biggest ring voila well it

gives me no pleasure to say your

deduction was

[Music]

faulty how you there go Mo incredible

I've never felt like this before it's

like my heart wants to Doer

a do you know who else was really into

Rob boats Jesus and he could have turned

his roboat into a jet ski but he didn't

good

guy I need to rent an apartment in the

worst part of Waverly Hills the crappier

the better ah so cheap eh ah so sheep to

you at my old school I got so many A's

the teachers didn't even check my work

maybe that that's why you got so many

A's oh my God you've been challenged

well Lisa let's see how you

[Music]

respond Bart Simpson is the ultimate bad

boy befriend him and you wind up just

like him a rebel who does what he wants

when he wants Wow Come on tough guy

let's

go he's so

bad let

s we sat even a Ralph of this school

speaks French

over come and get

me I tried to show them the Polaroids

they wouldn't look it's your job to get

their attention nobody takes

responsibility anymore well I I just

wanted to get back into the business

after I had my kids yeah well now those

kids have an embarrassment for a mother

shiny enough to see Skinner's ugly face

go come with

me may I ask you how are things in

heaven you know that thing we used to

call reefer and you people now call

medicine I do well they have it up in

heaven and it is

MiFi

MiFi homie look who's here yeah I see oh

Homer are you a Sunday puzzle cuz you

sure seem down and across my dad did

something to me I can never forgive no

worse than what God did to his son and

they wrote a book together bye oh let me

scratch your

chin he's so chubby I just can't take

it okay got through the first one next

one's a little harder just going to

[Applause]

focus and

post post post post unpost

unpost and post look at those abs the

secret is less loaves more fishes th

Kingdom Come I'm almost done ooh can

this Square join your circle absitively

posolutely in that same Spirit I'm glad

to hear it

oh meet Lisa do you know how I've gotten

to this point in life two things Blind

Faith and a little w wine can you get me

the wine that I keep in mommy's knitting

basket I know where you keep

it there was no knitting in

there

[Music]

hey I come old lady and kids and the

fire go out and stupid flers

cargo is on the Forefront of autonomous

vehicle technology we're looking for

highly passive humans to road test our

self-driving

cars perfect answer no operator the car

just drops itself it's computer brain

knows where the roads

are living in LA with my best old

ex-friend Ray my client Homer Simpson is

suing yous I am not a pretend attorney I

am homeless liar lawyer

goodbye nothing like eating fish

sticks my

[Music]

eyes in the words of King Solomon I

shall eat two pies I don't think King

Solomon said that maybe it was a king

salmon the point is pies are good

where's your boy what your hurry friend

now hommer don't you try to disarm us

with your Gentile mannerisms of a byon

here or there why I haven't a notion as

to what you are importuning good sir

this is not about my car it is about me

getting respect I want all the little

Lulu $5 can buy and make it snappy blob

the Hut Jaba is actually quite slim for

a Hut this is Maggie our baby and she

understands what's going on she's never

said a word but I get the feeling she

wants to say something

now

D what a

man I will render my sentence tomorrow I

thank you good night boom wait wait wait

you want to go to movie I'll go to a

movie with you judge you won't be

available oh when I first met Bart I was

just a nerdy kid with glasses but now

this blue-haired butterfly is ready to

emerge from his Pupa Simpson you think

this is helping

you Skinner's a jerk Skinner's a jerk

Skinner's a jerk Skinner's a jerk

Skinner's a jerk everything's breakfast

all the time eggs all I'm eating are EGS

I think it's turning my skin yellow

homie are we sacrificing our family's

happiness for the sake of one member

when Lisa is making millions of dollars

playing for the Utah Jazz it'll be worth

it Tibetan singing

balls welcome to walkoff Homer this is

Homer Simpson the rudest dude of in the

inner tube they say Muhammad Ali was the

greatest of all time but he never fought

Cash's clay eat Sunset fros

[Music]

semigloss what the hell so funny

[Applause]

[Laughter]

okay Homer you can do this you can make

things

right I got your coffee just the way you

like it no coffee just donnut

holes hey Lenny you duck face psycho

guess who's going to Homer Simpsons

house for a meal me uh I'm

[Music]

Carl homie homie

oh you ruined that body in one night the

funeral leftovers were so

good that thing is

huge least this is a new feeling we

helped a whale be free and now I feel

wonderful what you're searching for is

altruism oh you got a boat for the day

did you bring beer

sandwiches why don't you open

that hey M got your beer and sandwiches

right here look the gorillas have picked

up some new habits from your

father long day journey into light beer

where's my beer margerie I spent all day

making sure this beer was

cold I make bad choices oh this trip's

going to cost how much I know it's

expensive but we spend our whole lives

worrying about money that's because we

don't have that much we have a mortgage

a reverse mortgage I think the house is

owned by the

[Music]

car relax I learned how to do this from

my uncle two

fingers oh my God you're the package

Thief

um you can't spoil that movie for me

because I don't care what happens you

see as a grown-up I know that muscle

jerks and tights with magic powers

punching and hugging each other is

boring BS for babies how much longer do

I have to keep up this cuab be charade

how badly do you not want your bosses at

marble Studios to know that I used your

drunken thumb to see that movie

uh listen stupid Flanders I just want to

say thank you and if there's anything I

can do for you well for starters you

could stop calling me stupid Flanders

deep fried rib witch served on a warm

donut or a spaghetti filled grilled

cheese sandwich drizzled with ranch

pudding crusty munchy mouthfuls it's

high time you tried it get it get it

get

it I get it I think something is very

wrong with him I think maybe we should

take him to a dog psychologist dog

psychologist eh get off the couch get

off get

off dad they're coming for our dog I

won't let you you you big blue balloon

oh I like the image hey imagine me in a

parade huh H boy

oh darn it but don't people hate cowards

sure do but we outlive the brave leing

us cowards to make time with the heroes

widows after Korea I was drowning in

boobies wow that sounds pretty

sweet clowns have it tough crusty I

understand I was Professor pickles with

wringling Brothers for several years the

elephant and I had our differences

[Music]

oh my God who made this

monstrosity I did

[Music]

everything you're never bored painting

the Lord

[Music]

well with all that you folks have

experienced I think we could enjoy

listening to a little of your wisdom the

problem with Puerto Ricans is no casual

racism spring Springfield nuclear has

electric solutions to all of your energy

needs the Springfield

[Music]

hyperloop I don't need this scooter All

of You Follow Me To The

Future oh dear God stick a forklift in

him he's

dead hey come on all is not lost this

Coaster's fine

I myself have done it when I was a

student at MIT the Mumbai Institute of

tantric sex where I was recruited by a

card counting ring I won enough money to

buy fake SAT scores I used to get into

the real MIT where I failed every class

and was kicked out and had to move to

Springfield help us Dove man

here to team up with fruit Batman I'm

thinking of dumping kid Sour Puss here

I'm a hero oh I can see my obituary

now wow

wow B should I shut the door no need my

mom's cool now check it out last night I

stayed up till 10:45 oh my God I took a

picture so I can show

everybody what hath mom wrought the

police are arresting basically anyone

they want to Lisa you got to learn to

trust your government that's what I do

oh my God I'm a monster mhm wait you

can't go I need your

forgiveness you can't push a guy around

forever Dad you better take a long fat

look in the mirror I

know oh my God Morty what did you do you

killed the S Morty no no I I I I didn't

me to go God the baby one oh my God

Morty you killed the entire Simpsons

Morty they're a beloved F family Morty

they're they're National Treasure and

you killed him I'm just a

[Music]

kid huh wow hey Morty little tip don't

clean DNA vials with your spit let's go

I'm driving this

time Lisa Simpson also has an appalling

OD what I don't smell girls don't

smell sorry girl but you

smell she has a juice box why can't I

have a juice box because when she sticks

in the straw she doesn't slip and hit an

artery oh I'll never have juice okay

well uh Possum's gone but you got

fingernails to chew on who knows what's

under them who I got Pizza I got

poop a poor kid are you taking his

dessert yes I am up to

him are you eating that cake

no hey idiots the bong stays in the

treehouse hey

boy are you crazy what if the cops come

I know you can't turn your head but

you've got a great

view are you okay M she's got nine lives

I am a Hindu sir not a cat I have

infinite lives during some of which I

may be a cat in those I do have nine my

father is enjoying his

retirement Bubba Watson you're no BJ

sing it will live at least until third

grade when you get Mrs ortner so I got

back together with Jeff then of course I

realized there was a reason we broke

up well that sounds awful and you look

stupid doing it do not panic but the

pools are infested with those tiny fish

that swim up your

[Applause]

[Music]

wiener hurry doc his lungs are full of

seltzer

I can finally clean Grandpa's Dentures

yeah I got popcorn in there from Kramer

versus Kramer I was rooting for Kramer

but was dismayed when Kramer finally won

that's a Twist I didn't see Kramer in

all my years of living with the female

species I've learned one thing when they

want to do something totally insane your

only move is to support them

100% hey guys my uh head's a little wet

from the decontamination

shower thanks Dada she pretty much sees

the best in everything amazing really

considering she has a husband who

randomly shows up to work a son who God

bless him is probably heading for the

chair and an ungrateful little girl who

ignores her mother's frantic attempts at

reconciliation and tells family secrets

to a total

stranger chubby dude in a tiny car

making friends both near and far I will

make America great again they're not so

great I will keep you on your toes I

will not run for a second term I will

walk I will drill baby drill until I

find the river of chocolate that Lies

Beneath Hershey Pennsylvania this is so

exciting with my homie and a Hab Dashers

my husband needs a complete makeover

well thank you lady with the Beehive ha

and power your horse right through the

sun blast a rainbow light from your

empowerment

[Music]

[Laughter]

[Music]

gun okay plapper I'm going to the little

pig's room can you cover for me good

good not that many mistakes at all

[Applause]

[Music]

okay is that Homer or a pig that looks

just like

him sounds like homo but it smells like

truffles toss in a bag of

[Applause]

chips yep that's Homer

[Music]

the next day my family explored middle

Hampton a Wonderland boutiques paid for

by Rich husbands wanting to keep their

wives busy mainly second

[Music]

wives each of my Enterprises has its own

G6 what's that one that's from my

personal horticulturalist you know what

I'm saying I

don't to be paid off you're a lyrical

made off so if you want to go to Warra

hit me up and I'll Rite the rap for you

yeah wa it

R I seen JG pimp Ling Rob took my

handyman off a job and when I complain

all he did was laugh now I got half a

gazebo and not even a good half ha you

have a conscience closed sat my mom's

dating your gaffer Jack is that true I'm

not proud of well you seem pretty proud

when you ate all our ramen noodles who

stole the cookie from the cookie jar

Tyler stole the cookie from the cookie

jar what me yeah you couldn't be then

who Courtney stole the cookie from the

cookie jar I've heard enough let's go

Courtney you too Tyler in the morning we

saw the horrors of the beaches at iima

this is a sports documentary I'm getting

there in my unit they called me

quarterback because when I borrowed a

quarter I never gave it back at the end

of the war I had a buck 75 and no

friends certificates ribbons and yes

even

trophies trophies so that's the easy

answer if Ralphie shelf says he's a

winner then he'll be one and mo yells a

third thing to feel part of the

group gotcha where am I you worked in

the C we better seal this thing up

tight lipo hey who wants a box full of

firecrackers they won't light up the

night like you

oh oh you're quite good at taking the

piss out of someone wait that's okay to

say taking the piss taking the piss

taking the piss taking the piss taking

the piss have you gotten that out of

your system I'll get up in the middle of

night and say one more experienced pemon

Searchers H this is who we're looking

for no you're no fun what's her peaky

name um Dame Judy

dentur and her point value I don't know

a

zillion cuz he's one two three guys in

one at the

basball church church I don't care what

people say my homie makes one sexy

blimp go long

Boys Hey Harold buddy you know I was

wondering excuse me why cheeseburgers

the cheese holds it together in Flight

duh I mean why do you throw them at good

people question time is over really hope

that social worker pays better by the

time time you grow up social worker

private Homer you fat stack of mop

buckets you find something funny about

this how about I wipe that smile off

your fat face not my homie overt your

eyes

ma'am boy am I lost sha can you help us

I'm not Superman you have a Superman

tattoo on your arm how do you know so

much about me you're scaring me I don't

have any

money right ralie e easy give Daddy back

his

hat it was a simple matter of finding

the guard's identical twins then hiring

them to rob their own

brothers that's the last impossible

mystery you'll ever solve in the words

of the late David Bowie nay Jones ch ch

ch changes all rights reserved Ziggy

stst publishing

gotcha morning friend till the end ready

to greet the day with the big ho hey

call me the Pillsbury Doughboy cuz I'm

ready to roll then let's hide didly go

if anyone can do it it's we to

it I hope you enjoyed the video thanks

for choosing criptic tunes and please

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