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Previously on

Georgie & Mandy's First Marriage...

Todd, this is Mandy and Georgie.

- Georgie Cooper? - Yeah.

Didn't you go to Medford High?

I'm sorry, did you two go to high school together?

So what's it like being married?

I guess it's like having a girlfriend you live with.

And it's not weird that she's old?

She ain't old. She's older.

Also, do not let her hear you say that.

Hey, isn't your sister a freshman this year?

We talked about this, older is better.

What do you want for dinner?

Drinks. Whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

I had such a crush on Steve McQueen.

Mm, and I was crazy in love with Ali MacGraw.

I had a thing for the three-breasted Martian

from Total Recall.

Oh, yeah. She was special.

Ew.

Relax. I'm happy with the two you got.

Who's calling at this hour?

Hello?

Oh, hello, Mary.

Yes, he's right here.

Your mother.

Hey, everything okay?

No, everything is not okay.

What'd Missy do now?

I came home from church early

and found your sister in her bedroom with a boy.

Oh, you're kidding.

Hey. What's going on?

Were they doing it?

They were trying.

What's that mean?

There were pants on the floor that is all I'm saying.

Hey, tell me.

She caught Missy in her room with a boy.

Mm, like brother, like sister.

I'm sorry, Mom, but why you telling me?

I have to tell somebody.

So what'd you do?

What do you think I did?

I took off my shoe and I hit him with it.

What'd she do? Oh. She hit him with her shoe.

You want me to talk to her?

What are you gonna say?

I don't know, wait till you're married?

Like you did?

Hey, I'm trying to help here.

Remember when you caught this one with a boy in her room?

Which time?

How many times we talking?

Get back to your mother.

Hello?

Who's the boy?

I already spoke to his mother.

That is taken care of.

Oh. Okay.

Uh, I don't know what to say.

I guess I'll pray for her.

Pray for me.

I ain't letting our daughter out of my sight

till she's, like, 40.

Fifty.

What are your pies?

Apple, blueberry, and pecan.

Well, what about sweet potato?

Did I say sweet potato?

No, that's why I said it.

Do you want pie or not?

Tell me the list again.

That's it, you're getting apple.

You want a Midol? No.

Is everything okay?

Not really.

Well, tell me.

My idiot son got caught with some trampy girl in her bedroom.

You don't say.

Then I get an earful from her crazy religious nut mom.

You don't say.

She even threw her shoe at him.

You don't say.

Yes, she says. Where's my pie?

Hey, how was work?

Great, great. Listen,

uh, you remember my friend Beth at the diner?

Yeah. Her son Todd?

Yeah, with the dirt bike. I like that kid.

Eh, let me finish.

Uh, who is it?

Georgie Cooper.

TODD [high-pitched]: Todd's not here.

Oh, come on, dude. I ain't gonna hurt you.

Promise? Open the door, Todd.

Nothing happened, I swear.

Then why were there pants on the floor?

Oh, my pants, not hers.

That don't make it better. I told you to stay away.

I couldn't help it. I really like her.

I don't care. She's too young for you.

You're too young for your wife.

Do you want me to kick your ass?

Come on, you ain't never been in love?

Oh, you ain't in love.

How do you know?

When I was your age, I fell in love

with every girl who kissed me.

Oh, she is such a good kisser.

Stay away from my sister.

Even at school? Yes.

But she's my scene partner in drama club.

I don't care.

Well, there's no kissing. It's Death of a Salesman.

I said no.

I thought you were cool.

I-I thought you were cool.

Aw, thanks, man.

Just stay away. Okay, okay.

Hey, Georgie?

What?

Just so you know,

I was gonna use protection.

I'm gonna kill you!

Why didn't you tell me the tramp was your sister-in-law?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. She's not a tramp.

Oh, really? Yeah, really.

I mean, she wants to be, she's just not there yet.

Well, you could've told me.

I didn't want things to be weird between us.

Weird like your husband coming to my house

and threateningmy kid?

Yeah, like that.

You tell Georgie to stay away from my son.

You tell your son to stay away from my sister-in-law.

Oh, for God's sakes, Mandy, he's a teenage boy.

You of all people know how they are.

Sweet, dinner and a show.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Missy.

Oh, I-I'm not here.

He's right here.

Hello.

Who do you think you are telling Todd to stay away from me?

I'm your brother, and it's my job to keep you safe.

We were being safe.

Yeah, I heard.

Stay out of my life,

or I will never speak to you again.

I love Todd, and he loves me,

and there is nothing you can do about it.

Hey.

What happened to you?

I am officially white trash.

Let's go.

Where are we going?

Mexico. Why?

What do you mean, why? We're in love.

Oh, cool.

What now?

Hello?

Is Missy there?

No. Ain't she there?

She was when I went to bed, and now, she's gone.

Hang on. Call waiting, maybe it's Missy.

Hello?

Georgie, it's Beth.

Oh, good. Is Missy there?

No, she and Todd ran away.

Hold on.

Mom, I know where Missy is.

Oh, thank God.

Oh, don't thank Him yet. She and Todd ran away.

Where did they go?

Hold on.

Where'd they go?

Mexico. Oh, my God.

To get married.

Oh, my God!

Hey, who are you talking to?

Beth and my mom. Hold on. Hold on.

They ran away to Mexico to get married.

I know. I just told you that.

Hold on.

They ran away to Mexico?

Yes. Hang on.

Hang on.

Mom?

Yes? Mexico.

What? They ran away to Mexico.

Mexico? How?

Well, hang on.

Stop telling me to...

Beth? Yes.

How are they getting to Mexico? They took his dirt bike.

A dirt bike? They're on a dirt bike?

Can that thing even make it to Mexico?

Oh, yeah, that Yamaha YZ250's a sweet ride.

Hello? Sorry. Hang on.

Wait, don't put me...

Mom, where were we?

How are they getting to Mexico? A dirt bike.

Does she have a helmet?

Let me ask.

Don't put me on hold again.

Just find them.

I will.

Beth, don't worry, I'll find them.

I hope so.

Whew, that was complicated.

I'm so happy.

What?

Happy!

Try to hold it. I'll pull over soon.

They're running away to Mexico?

Yes.

On a dirt bike? What kind of mileage do those things get?

Better than you think.

And they can go up to 50, 55 miles an hour.

Hmm. Really?

Now, that's a single cylinder, ain't it...

It's not the problem.

Wait, who are you calling?

A guy who can help.

Hello?

Ruben, it's Georgie, I need your help.

What time is it?

I don't know, but my sister ran away

to Mexico with some guy.

So why you calling me?

'Cause you're Mexican.

Dude, I'm Puerto Rican.

Since when?

Since I was born.

And Puerto Rico ain't a part of Mexico?

Oh, my God.

No.

Well, but you speak Spanish

like Mexican people, right?

Okay, give me.

Sorry to bother you, Ruben.

Sí.

Okay, so what's the plan?

Well, they're probably headed

for the border crossing at Los Indios.

That Yamaha ain't gonna go far on a tank of gas.

We'll stop at some gas stations. Maybe somebody saw them.

So you're just gonna ask people

if they saw two idiots on a dirt bike?

You got a better plan?

Proceed.

I warned that kid. I warned him.

This is Missy's fault, too.

Yeah, but I can't kick her ass.

Ooh, but maybeyou can.

You realize telling him to stay away

made all this a little sexier.

What?

My mom hating you

is half the reason we're married.

Half?

Okay, half's a lot, but it-it's not none.

I just can't help thinking, someday

we're gonna be driving around in the middle of the night

looking for CeeCee and some boy.

We probably will.

I was hoping you'd disagree.

Well, I want to, but, you know, if she's got this face,

we're screwed.

Welp, let's hope she's ugly.

Lord, please bring Missy back home safely

so I can kill her.

Sorry about the smoking and the praying,

it's one of those nights.

You get it.

Hello?

Mary, it's Audrey.

Have you heard anything?

No, no, I just wanted to check on you.

I figured you'd be up.

Oh, well, that's very nice. Thank you.

I remember when Amanda was a teenager.

I had my share of sleepless nights.

I was no angel at that age, either,

but at least Missy's father had a motorcycle.

Who runs away on a dirt bike?

It's a miracle we survived being teenagers.

Or having them.

Ugh, you poor thing.

Missy does sound like a handful.

Well, she's only 15, and she's had a rough year.

Of course.

And you've certainly

been through your share

of H-E-double hockey sticks.

Excuse me?

Mandy getting pregnant out of wedlock.

With your lying son.

Who was a teenage boy.

They are irresponsible, we've covered this.

Well, I'm glad you're okay.

Thank you for calling.

If you need anything, you know where to find me.

Appreciate it. You're welcome.

Good night! Sleep well!

That woman.

I try to be nice,

and she throws it back in my face.

Yeah, she's having a rough night.

Well, she doesn't have to take it out on me.

Oh, so you were nice and got attacked?

I wonder what that feels like.

I'm sorry.

Just come to bed, let's get some sleep.

I can't sleep. She's got me all worked up.

Maybe you're getting me all worked up

flouncing around in that nightie.

Jim...

I'm just trying to lighten the mood. We don't have to.

No, we might as well.

Cool.

I'm just using you 'cause I'm upset.

Still cool.

All right, that'll be $12.52.

I only have ten. How about you?

That's all you brought?

Well, I don't get my allowance till Saturday.

So what are we gonna do for money?

I dunno.

You "dunno"? How can you not "dunno"?

Hey, running away to Mexico was your idea.

You're blaming me?

You're older, you're supposed to think of this stuff.

I'll tell you what I should be thinking,

why on earth did I ask you to marry me?

Why did I say yes? You're such a child.

I'm a child?

You just bought circus peanuts.

No, I was gonna buy circus peanuts,

but my fiancé can't afford it.

That's it. The engagement's off.

I renounce you.

You renounce me?

What the hell does that even mean?

It means...

I don't know, I heard it in a movie.

Dumbass.

What? You're the dumbass.

"Renounce" means "reject."

If anyone cares.

Don't worry, we're gonna find them,

and we're gonna get them home safe.

We'll get her home safe.

He might disappear in the desert.

Maybe this is my fault.

What do you mean?

I promised my dad I'd keep an eye on Missy

and look what happened.

Since he's been gone, she got suspended from school,

she got a tattoo, now she's run off.

Okay, well, don't beat yourself up.

You can't be around her 24/7.

I guess.

Just feels like I'm letting everyone down.

I promise you're not.

Thanks.

Besides, the tattoo was kind of my fault.

What?

Yeah, I took her to get it.

Why would you do that?

The real question is why did I tell you?

Oh! Oh, thank the Lord!

Oh. Hi.

Are you okay? Yes.

Are you married? No.

Pregnant?

No. We broke up.

You have no idea how much trouble you're in, young lady.

Mom, please don't yell at me.

I just lost the love of my life.

I'm hurting.

Oh, save the tears for someone stupid.

I knew I shouldn't have come home.

Well, you did, and now your ass is mine.

Nice language.

Get to your room.

And smoking, too?

Some example you're settin'.

Get.

Hey, any chance you've seen a couple teenagers

on a dirt bike? A 15-year-old girl about this height?

And a skinny punk with dumb hair just asking to be smacked?

Yeah, they were here a couple hours ago.

Okay, good. We're getting close.

Let's go. We can catch them at the border.

Okay. CeeCee don't stand a chance

with you and me on guard.

We are just too smart.

Next stop, Mexico.

I don't get it, we should've caught up with them by now.

Told you we should've stopped and asked for directions.

What? Directions to where?

Don't yell at me.

Uh-oh.

What?

We're almost out of gas.

Are you kidding me?

We just stopped at, like, nine gas stations.

Well, I'm sorry. I was preoccupied.

Oh, my God, we're gonna die.

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