Original subtitles

You are looking more and more

like your daddy every day.

I don't know,

I see so much of our side of the family

in her. No,

that's a Cooper nose right there.

And I got it.

Maybe, but those are definitely Mandy's eyes.

Which are basically mine, so...

Yup. She's a little mish-mash of both of us.

The mish is ours, the mash is yours.

You know, if y'all have Valentine's Day plans,

I'd be happy to watch her.

Oh, that is so sweet of you,

but Jim and I already agreed to.

You two aren't doing something special?

Well, of course we are,

we are watching our granddaughter.

Sorry, we would've asked, this just seemed easier.

I understand. She's already here and...

And I'm a whole ten minutes away. I understand.

But St. Patrick's Day, she's all yours.

Just don't get her drunk.

Sounds like nap time.

I got this.

Dang, swooped her up like a pelican.

Hmm. That's funny.

Did you put a picture of your mom in CeeCee's photo album?

No.

Well, there's one here.

So?

So, while no one was looking,

she slipped in a picture of her holding CeeCee.

Oh, does it matter?

Not really.

Just a little passive-aggressive.

More passive-aggressive than you making

a family photo album and leaving her out?

I didn't have any pictures of her.

Well, now you do. Yay.

Boy, those folks at Sears take a nice picture.

She is out.

"Soft Kitty" works every time.

Um, Mary...

Let it go.

Did you put this picture in CeeCee's album?

Ugh.

I did.

Mystery solved. Who wants lunch? I'm thinking grilled cheese.

Is there anything else you've hidden

around my house that I should be aware of?

I just wanted to remind CeeCee that she has two grandmothers.

Yes, lucky girl, two loving grandmas.

Lucky, lucky.

You know, you can keep a photo album at your house

and put whatever you want in it.

She never comes to my house.

How is that my fault? You're always hogging her.

Hogging?

I gave her and her parents a place to live.

And a lovely place it is.

Mary, you know you're always welcome here.

Am I? Sure doesn't feel that way.

Oh, come down off the cross.

Lady, you do not want me to come down.

All right, all right, y'all need to cool your jets.

Don't worry, I am leaving.

Thanks for stopping by.

Oh, I'll pray for you, but I do not have high hopes.

You know, when you think about it...

Best not to think about it.

And then she acted like I was the bad guy.

Okay.

What does "okay" mean?

Means I'm listening.

No, you're supposed to say,

"Of course you're not the bad guy."

Okay.

Just tell me what you really think.

Fine.

I think you started this

when you left her out of the photo book.

Well, who cares what you think.

Oh, come on, Audrey, you know I'm right,

or you wouldn't even be asking me.

I suppose I could see her side of this.

There you go.

After all, she has had a hard year.

It's big of you to recognize that.

And CeeCee does love me more than her.

So close to sticking the landing.

Is it just me

or are they getting more crazy?

Maybe it's some sort of menopause thing.

What do you think that means?

When old ladies sweat for no reason and get cranky?

Georgie, that is...

very accurate, um,

but I don't think that's what's happening here.

I don't know, your mom was pretty upset

about one little picture.

Yeah, true, but you have to admit it was kind of weird

that she smuggled it into the house.

I guess.

But to be fair, your mom does exclude her.

Well, it's not intentional. We're just here with the baby.

I'm just saying, I can understand

where my mom's coming from.

Yeah, and I can understand where my mom is coming from.

Wow.

Wow what?

I've never heard you take her side in anything.

I'm not taking her side.

I'm just seeing things as they are.

And I'm not?

No, you're always giving your mom

a pass for everything.

Oh, come on, her husband just died,

her favorite kid moved away... You?

Sheldon.

And she's stuck living with my sister,

who hates her and hates the world.

Missy's just being a teenager.

I wasn't like that when I was a teenager.

Honey, you're still a teenager.

You trying to pick a fight with me? No.

Sure feels that way.

Well, I'm not.

So we're good? Oh, we're good.

Good night.

Good night.

Love you.

Love you, too.

Hello, Mary.

Oh. What brings you by?

I was thinking about what happened yesterday,

and I can understand why you felt left out.

'Cause you left me out?

Yes, and that was... inconsiderate of me.

Is this an apology?

I don't want to fight for CeeCee's sake.

But is it an apology?

Yes, geez.

We do not say "geez" in my church.

Sorry.

But thank you.

You're welcome.

Considering the year you've had,

I should be more sensitive to your needs.

Excuse me?

What?

The year I've had?

Well... yes.

I do not need your pity.

My God, what is your problem?

Do not take the Lord's name in vain.

I didn't, I was asking him what is your problem?

My problem is that I do not need special treatment

because you feel bad for me.

Oh, so I'm a bad person for being empathetic?

You are not being empathetic, you are being condescending.

Mary, can you-- Oh.

Sorry. Didn't know you had company.

You remember Georgie's mother-in-law, Audrey.

Of course. So what're you two gals gabbing about?

Audrey just came by to tell me how fragile and needy

I've been since George died.

No, I came to apologize.

Because you feel bad for me.

Well, I don't anymore!

Do you believe this woman?

I believe in the power of prayer.

What do you say we all join hands

and ask the big amigo for His guidance?

Amen.

Pass the green beans.

Enjoy.

I will.

They're a little overcooked.

Georgie, I want you to know

I went to see your mother today.

Really? Why?

At Jim's urging, I apologized for my behavior.

That's my girl. However...

...she threw it back in my face.

Why'd she do that?

Well, hold on.

What did you say?

I said I'm sorry.

Yeah, but how did you say it?

Why do you immediately assume I'm in the wrong?

Yeah. Too late, Jim.

She's got a point, Mandy. She did make the effort.

What, so now you're defending her?

I just know my mom can be real stubborn.

Yeah, and I know whatever my mom said she said

wasn't what she said, and if it was,

then that was not how she said it.

But she went to apologize.

That's a huge step for her.

I wouldn't say huge, but thank you.

Hey, I got an idea.

Why don't we bury the hatchet, invite Mary

and Missy over for dinner Sunday.

Saturday?

That woman is not setting foot in this house

until she apologizes to me.

It does sound like she owes you one.

What is wrong with you?

What is wrong with you?

Now you know why I eat over here.

Need a hand?

You can put the glasses away.

On it.

I really want to thank you for trying

to straighten things out with my mom.

I'm glad someone appreciates it.

For what it's worth, I think Mandy was a little out of line.

I'm used to it. Everything's always my fault.

Not true. Getting pregnant--

that one, she blames square on me.

As do I.

She had a little something to do with it,

but I'll spare you the details.

Thank you.

As for my mom, I can't tell you how many times

she's butt heads with my dad, my meemaw, my sister,

Sheldon, of course.

Heck, once she had a falling-out with Jesus.

Poor Jesus.

Yeah, hasn't he suffered enough?

She ever fight with you?

I dropped out of school and got a girl pregnant at 17.

What do you think?

Remember when I used to wear tighty-whities?

I've come a long way.

What you reading? Book.

Right.

You ever gonna talk to me?

Nothing to talk about.

Mandy...

I can't believe you told my mother I was out of line.

She told you? Yeah.

Well, I wouldn't have said it if I knew she was gonna blab!

After all the crap she's given you,

I can't believe you're siding with her

over your poor, widowed mother.

My poor, widowed mother could have accepted her apology,

and this'd be all over.

Oh, just forget it. Let's go to sleep.

Gladly.

You know, it's not fair to be mad at you.

Thank you.

I saw a thing on TV

that the human brain isn't fully formed till 25,

so I have to assume that's what's going on here.

Yeah? Well, I saw a thing on TV about early-onset menopause.

Maybe that's what's going on here.

Trouble with the little woman?

Go to bed, Connor.

I was hoping to watch my friend Jay Leno.

Fine.

Had some of the green donuts,

had some of the green coffee...

Just so you know, this ain't a big deal.

Your sister and I'll work it out.

Do you mind?

This guy.

Pots of gold...

You gonna watch the whole show?

Uh, normally, I'd go to sleep after the monologue,

but Sinbad's on.

Oh, Jay, you're the best.

Look who I brought!

Oh, there's my favorite girl!

I won't tell Missy. Oh.

After the tattoo, she's not even top three.

I thought you might like a little baby time.

I would. But first...

...I need you to fix this mess with Audrey.

I'm not the one who needs to fix it.

Last time she tried, didn't go so great.

That's her fault. I don't care.

You two fighting's got to stop.

This has nothing to do with you.

Yes, it does.

I'm sleeping on the couch 'cause of y'all.

I woke up at, like, 1:00 in the morning,

some weird guy named "Conan" was on TV.

I do not need you sticking up for me.

I wasn't. I was on Audrey's side.

I can't believe you were on her side!

You were just mad at me for being on your side!

Now I'm not! Keep up!

Coopers.

Couldn't help overhear the bickering and thought

perhaps I could put on my counseling hat.

I was just betrayed by my own son.

I didn't betray you. Judas!

Whoa.

Mary, that's a little rough.

How am I like the guy who ended up in the whale?

That was Jonah.

Oh, right. Judas, Jonah, Jesus.

Lot of "J"s.

Georgie, you should go.

Not till we figure this out.

Fine. More time I get to spend with my granddaughter.

Then I'm leaving. That's enough out of you two. Sit.

But this is my office.

Sit.

Now, Georgie, I know you're upset,

but the Bible's pretty clear

about how you should treat your parents.

It's "honor your mother," not "honor your mother-in-law."

Mary. I get that,

but I also made a vow to my wife who has a mother herself.

Oh, she's a mother, all right.

Mary!

Now, as I was saying, you do need

to honor your wife, as well.

Who, for the record, is on my side.

Only 'cause she don't want to be on her mom's side!

Because that woman is a monster.

She left me out of CeeCee's "My First Photo Album."

So she's a monster, and he's a Judas

because of a baby's photo album?

You had to be there.

She tried to apologize to you, and you wouldn't have it.

Apology, my sweet patootie.

Mary, language.

You can't say "patootie"?

Maybe we should invite your mother-in-law

to be a part of this conversation.

Tell her she's wrong to her face. I like it.

I don't understand why I have to be here.

You're about to. Let her have it.

No one's letting anyone have it.

I already apologized once, I'm not doing it again.

You sure? You could really use the practice.

All right, that's enough!

You two have got to work this out

'cause you got me and Mandy taking sides.

He thinks Mandy was out of line.

You are just a blabbermouth!

Oh, you got to be kidding me.

Thank you for coming, Mandy. Please,

take a seat.

You said it was an emergency.

I'm sleeping on the couch. It kind of is.

Now, as I'm sure y'all know,

the Bible teaches us that a house divided cannot stand.

Great, so how do we un-divide it?

Love.

Well, that's just a bunch of Baptist baloney.

You hear this? Blasphemy!

Mary, take it down a notch.

Ha.

And Audrey,

if you could please show a little respect.

Hmm.

You two are ridiculous.

I couldn't agree more, honey.

Oh, don't try to be on my side.

O-Okay, okay, rather than focusing on past transgressions,

why don't we find a path forward?

A means by which this family can return to God's grace.

Well, I am returning home.

Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!

Mary!

Mandy, Georgie, why don't we discuss how to improve

your relationship with each other and the Lord?

Oh, I forgive you. Let's go.

Sweet!

I'm gonna call that one a win.

What am I looking at?

The Grandmother Agreement. I typed it up.

And I fixed the spelling.

Anyways, it's a contract.

Sheldon used to make these when people weren't getting along.

"CeeCee will spend the night at the Cooper house twice a month."

I like that.

Ooh, and I get doctor's appointments.

Which you will lose if...

If I refer to Mary as "that woman,"

or "that kook" or...

I prefer not to say this one out loud.

And same goes for you-- no name-calling,

or "bless your hearts."

We all know what that means. Fine.

All right, let's get to signing and move on with our lives.

What do you think?

Just one question. If she dies, do I get her CeeCee time?

Mom!

We'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Look at that-- one big happy family.

Yeah, right. Oh, at least let the ink dry!

All right.

Why don't we get the grandmas a little closer to the baby?

Nope, they're fine where they are.

Just take the picture.

And smile.

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