Original subtitles

Okay, how do I look?

Beautiful as always.

A little too much cleavage.

Well, when I'm not working for tips, I'll cover up.

Is that the lesson you want to teach your daughter?

Are you kidding? These are all I am to her.

Hey, y'all.

Hey. Oh, good.

All right, here you go.

Yay.

I thought you were off tonight.

Uh, I was,

but a shift opened up,

and despite appearances,

we are poor people.

Well, I thought we were gonna have some "us" time.

Uh, well, I get off at midnight.

We can "us" time then.

Hey, I know what "us" time means.

Stop it.

Okay, I'll see you later.

All right, what are we doing?

We?

Once I put the baby down,

we can play Monopoly, Jenga. I'm all yours.

Well, thank you, but...

I am suddenly very tired.

You can just say no,

you don't have to pretend to be sleepy.

Okay. No.

How are you at Gin Rummy?

Well, it's been a while.

You might have to remind me of the rules.

Are you conning me?

Only one way to find out.

You sure about that?

Thank you.

Gin.

Son of a bitch.

Go again?

I am suddenly very tired.

Tired of losing.

Let's see.

Oh, there's your mama.

See how hard she's working?

That's for you.

Remember that when you're a teenager

and you hate your mother for no good reason,

other than she's your mother.

Georgie?

Hey, what're you doing here? Is everything okay?

Everything's great.

This one didn't want to sleep,

so I thought we'd come pay you a visit.

Oh, that's sweet, but I'm real busy.

Well, you sure I can't buy you some dessert?

I got $11 from your dad

burning a hole in my pocket.

Order up.

I got to go. Bye.

Okay, see you later.

Whoa, that's all you're leaving?

Yeah.

Just so you know, you ain't just

tipping your waitress, you're also tipping

her baby girl here.

Oh, come on. Look at this face.

There we go. Have a nice night.

Hey. Sorry, didn't mean to wake you.

Oh, it's okay.

How was work?

Busy. I feel bad

I didn't have time for you.

I get it.

Well, I got time for you now.

It's been a while,

we ain't gonna need much time.

You smell like bacon.

Really? I showered.

I ain't complaining. I like bacon.

Your pager.

I hear it.

Aren't you gonna answer it?

It's just someone with a broke down car.

They ain't going nowhere.

What if it's an emergency?

This is an emergency.

Dang it.

It's okay, I'll be here when you get back.

Great, I'll wake you.

Or, you know, let me sleep through it.

It's fine.

Thanks, Charlie.

Evening, miss.

Thank the Lord.

I got a flat tire.

Well, good news,

it's only flat on the bottom.

A little tow truck humor.

Can you fix it?

I can change it. Got a spare?

I do,

it's that one right there.

Oh. Well, I can tow you back to the shop

and get you fixed up in the morning.

Thank you.

It's a nice car you got.

Well, God is good.

Oh, you're one of them.

One of them?

I don't mean nothing by it.

My mom's one of them, too.

Blessed with the abundance of God's love?

Yep, definitely one of them.

You are not what I expected

when I called a tow truck.

Oh, you were waiting on a butt-crack Bubba type?

Yeah.

Well, sorry to disappoint.

Mine is firmly tucked away.

So, are you McAllister?

Cooper, McAllister's my father-in-law.

You're married?

You look so young.

Well, when you meet the right woman and get her pregnant,

you just know.

So, what about you? What kind of job

gets you a car like that?

Oh, um, I work in real estate,

but honestly, I owe it all to my church.

Really?

My mom's church never gave out Mercedes.

Once in a while, you'd get free pancakes,

but that's about it.

I'm serious.

I mean, I was struggling

before I joined my congregation,

but now I'm doing great.

You know, God wants us to be prosperous.

All I remember from Sunday school

is, "Thou shalt not have any fun."

Well, maybe you're going to the wrong church.

You should check us out.

Maybe I will.

I'm telling you,

if you invest in God,

He will return that investment tenfold.

How's He with debt?

'Cause I got me a few folds of that.

Oh, my goodness, CeeCee,

you're getting so big.

'Cause she's a Texas baby.

'Cause you keep sneaking her cookies.

I want her to like me.

Morning. Why didn't you wake me?

Oh, well, you got in so late,

I wanted to give you a break.

What did I do to deserve you?

This.

Hey, what do you think about

coming to church with me on Sunday?

Church? You want pancakes, just tell me.

No, this lady I towed last night

was telling me how her church is all about

prosperity and making money.

So?

So, those are two of my favorite things.

We're not really church people.

Why would you say that? Of course we are.

When was the last time we went to church?

When Georgie's father...

I don't recall.

This could also be a business opportunity.

Prosperous folks need tires, too.

I don't know.

Now, now, hold on, let him talk.

You're okay with him going to church just to sell tires?

Yes.

You want to come with me?

No.

Mandy?

Well, Sunday's my one day to sleep in,

but if you want to go, you should go.

All right.

What about you, CeeCee?

You want to come to church with Daddy?

Hands off, she's Catholic.

And here's a free air freshener.

Has our number right on it.

And it smells like apple pie.

How about that?

Money making idea:

A little pocket in your underwear

that you can slide an air freshener into.

Hey, Georgie.

You remembered my name.

Hello.

So, is my car ready?

Let me check.

Yes, ma'am, it most certainly is.

My name's Ruben. What's yours?

Valerie. Oh, lovely name.

Valerie, you're gonna need

brake pads on your vehicle,

sooner better than later.

Thank you. Good to know.

Ruben, I got this.

I'm just thinking of her safety.

Don't you need to call your wife or something?

He's married.

I know. I'm actually hoping to meet her

at church this Sunday.

Church? Yeah.

Mm, too much work.

Sorry about that, he's alone a lot back there.

So, will I see you on Sunday?

Yeah, I think you will.

Might be solo.

My wife's not real interested.

Oh, too bad.

But I will be glad to see you.

Oh. And I'll be glad to see you...

in a churchly fashion.

Before I forget,

free air freshener.

Oh.

Apple, the fruit of temptation.

Hang on, I got a mango in here somewhere.

You look nice.

Thanks.

Last chance to come to church with me.

Sorry, today's a strict no-bra day.

I feel a little weird.

The only time I ever wore this was my dad's funeral.

Well, I'm sure he'd be glad to know

you're getting your money's worth.

He was thrifty.

You know, he's the one who taught me shampoo

is really just liquid soap.

You can wash your hair with a bar of Irish Spring.

Same deal.

Is that why your hair smells like that?

Mmm, when you first met me, yeah.

Now I'm a Zest man.

Welcome. Thank you.

Is this your first time with us?

Yes, ma'am.

Well, we are so glad to have you.

Oh, okay.

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Georgie, welcome.

Oh, y'all are a huggy bunch.

Come here, there's someone I want you to meet.

Reverend, this is Georgie Cooper.

Travis Lemon.

How are you doing on this glorious Sunday?

Depends. You got pancakes?

Better. We got waffles the shape of Texas.

Praise the Lord.

I got a flat tire the other night

and Georgie rescued me.

Ah, a Good Samaritan. Isn't that something?

It's my job, so maybe just a regular Samaritan.

Georgie drives a tow truck and works at a tire shop.

When do you find the time to sleep?

I don't.

So if it happens during your sermon,

don't take it personal.

Hard worker, God rewards that.

Speaking of which,

I couldn't help but notice

you had some church vans out there with bald tires.

Be happy to take care of that for you.

Oh, yeah, this is the church for you.

Let's talk after the service.

I told you.

Not even here five minutes and you're already prospering.

I guess I am.

I'm so happy for you.

Okay, more hugging.

Remember when you wanted to be a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader?

There's still time.

There is!

Yeah, and I'm gonna be an aerobics instructor.

Hey.

Hey. How was church?

Great. I met the reverend.

Real nice guy. Mm.

Feel more prosperous?

Actually, I do.

McAllister Auto is now the exclusive tire store

for all the church buses and vans.

You're kidding.

Tires, brakes, alignment, the works.

In fact, I gave him a ridiculously high price,

then knocked ten percent off.

He was thrilled.

How can you not love this kid?

He hustled a reverend.

Exactly.

You know, I think it's time we up your compensation.

We already give them free room, board and childcare.

Yeah, but with the tow truck, he's working day and night.

He volunteered, Jim.

'Cause he's a go-getter.

Well, then he can go get another job.

Should we jump in here?

No, stay out of it, this is how I got a car.

Giving him a cut only motivates him to make more.

Keeping him hungry motivates him more.

Now, you see, that is the kind of thinking

that makes Communism appealing.

You sure we shouldn't jump in?

Shh, we're close.

Did you just call me a Communist?

I'm just saying a good American

would pay him what he's worth.

There it is.

Fine, pay him whatever you want.

And that's how I got a Jeep Cherokee.

I see what's going on.

I get a raise, you can't keep your hands off of me.

You got a problem with that?

No, you're right, I'm way more sexy.

Well, I'm really proud of you.

You know, there's a Bible study Wednesday.

You want to come?

Oh, wow, we really need to work on your dirty talk.

Sorry, I just think you really might like it.

Thanks, but I don't need to watch you sell tires

to a bunch of Bible thumpers.

It ain't about that.

It's actually kind of working.

W-What are you talking about?

I'm making more money and you want to have day sex.

That's everything I've ever prayed for.

Please don't tell me

you think that's 'cause of the church.

I don't know. Maybe.

I'm just saying a lot of what they preach makes sense.

Ugh, you're starting to sound like your mom.

What the heck's that supposed to mean?

Oh, calm down, I love her, but...

you know, when it comes to the church,

she's a little bit of a...

A little bit of a what?

Hang on, I'm trying to think of a word that isn't "nutjob."

Nutjob?

If I were you, I wouldn't start comparing moms.

What's that mean?

Hang on, I'm trying to think of a word that isn't "bitch."

Where you going? I thought we were gonna fool around.

Pray for it, see what happens.

Hey. Still waiting on them brakes?

Want it done fast or you want 'em done right?

Well, I want 'em done now.

Aw, like a big lion practicing his roar.

I ain't in the mood, Ruben.

Quit it. Trouble at home?

Wife find out about the hot church lady?

No.

Keeping her a secret? Smart.

I don't care about her.

Care about who?

The woman who invited me to church.

The hot woman.

Baywatch hot.

Care to explain?

Yeah, she's attractive.

Muy fuego.

But it don't matter 'cause we're just friends.

So you're not doing something dumb?

Oh, I do dumb stuff all the time,

just not this.

Well, be careful.

I own a timeshare in Florida

'cause the saleslady looked like Raquel Welch.

I don't know who that is.

Oh, she was a knockout.

Had curves in all the right places.

She wore this fur bikini in a movie, man.

I still think about it.

Fur bikini?

Was she cold?

Get back to work.

"Curves in all the right places."

Dude is old.

Will Georgie be joining us for dinner?

Uh, no, he's at Bible study.

Oh.

I do hope he isn't turning into his mother.

That is a terrible thing to say.

No matter how hard we fight it,

at some point we all turn into our parents.

Yeah, well, I'm turning into Dad.

Too late, blondie.

You got something to say, just say it.

I just think Georgie should be using

what little free time he has

to be with his wife and daughter.

I don't disagree.

So you agree.

That's not what I said.

If your father was doing something

that made me uncomfortable,

I would make sure he knew about it.

God, I am turning into you.

Aw.

No, it's not a good thing.

Where you going?

To tell my husband I love and support him,

no matter what he chooses to do.

I think that's a mistake.

Yeah, that's why I'm doing it.

Thank you, Father, for your many blessings

and let our prosperity be a glory to you

and a beacon that brings others to your light.

Amen.

Amen.

Georgie, you've been awful quiet.

Is there anything you'd like to say

before we wrap it up?

Oh, uh, yeah.

I would like to thank you all

for being so welcoming.

I haven't been hugged this much

since I was on the high school wrestling team.

Oh, before I forget...

Here's my business card. McAllister Auto.

We offer 24-hour towing and all your tire needs.

Just give them this card and you'll get ten percent off

our already low, low prices.

That it?

Oh. Amen.

Here, let me give you a hand.

Oh. Thanks.

So, what'd you think of Bible study?

It's hard to believe, but I liked it.

Why is that hard to believe?

Well, it's got the words "Bible" and "study"

right there in the name.

Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

God wanting me to succeed is kind of comforting.

Could I tell you something?

I think my flat tire was no accident.

What are you saying?

You put a nail in your own tire?

I think God did it, to bring you here.

Well, if that's true, I'm glad he did.

Me, too.

Whoa, I'm a married man.

You sure are!

Move.

Let's go, married man.

You saw me pull away, right?

It's the only reason you're still standing.

Call for a tow?

Got to go!

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