Original subtitles

Huh, weird.

What?

Well, this article says to put cabbage leaves in your bra

when you're ready to stop breastfeeding.

Why would you do that?

To help dry up your milk.

Wh-What happens to the cabbage leaves?

That's your question?

Good news, my mail's finally

coming to this address.

Oh, joy.

Check it out. What's that?

- My very first credit card. - Oh.

You never had one before?

Nope. Blockbuster card, Subway card.

That's it.

Not even a library card?

Good one.

Congrats, son.

This is going right next to my driver's license.

Maybe it's time to retire the Velcro.

Why? It still works.

Now you just be careful.

Those cards can get you in trouble.

Mm, Amanda knows a thing or two about that.

Don't you, Amanda?

Oh, yeah?

Well, when I was younger I-I got a little carried away,

but I learned my lesson.

Younger like my age?

Yes.

So a long time ago.

Yes.

Geez, CeeCee.

How'd you get food in your hair?

Yeah, I miss when she was bald.

It was our thing.

Hey, would you mind giving her a bath while I clean up?

You kiddin'? Tubby time's the best part of my day.

Come on, stinky girl.

Bye.

Okay, no more credit card talk around Georgie.

I assumed you told him.

Well, you assumed wrong.

Don't you think he has a right to know?

Of course he does.

So what's the holdup?

He thinks I'm perfect.

Why would I take that away from him?

Amanda,

secrets are bad for a marriage.

Yeah, yeah.

What are we keeping secret?

This is a private conversation, honey.

I have a secret of my own.

Oh, good for you.

Would you like to hear it?

Not really.

I've been corresponding

with Tonight Show host Jay Leno.

Seriously?

We share a birthday.

I sent him a card, he responded,

an unlikely friendship was born.

Oh, please, why would he be friends with you?

Simple. He's a man of the people,

and I'm people.

I share a birthday with Bryant Gumbel.

Oh, come on, that's cool.

Haven't done this in a while.

Got to take the new credit card out for a spin.

Well, let's not go crazy.

Don't worry. After tonight,

it's back to the dollar menu at Taco Bell.

Hey, I happen to love the dollar menu.

Girl, you better save that sexy talk for when we get home.

And I know how these credit card companies work.

Get people to run up a bill, spend the rest of their life

paying off the interest like chumps.

Well...

I don't know if I'd call them "chumps."

Good thing you learned your lesson.

Mm-hmm.

You okay?

You're lookin' a little sweaty.

Oh, it's, uh-- it's the salsa.

It's kind of hot.

My dad taught me real early: never a lender or a borrower be.

That's in the Bible.

Uh, that's actually Shakespeare.

Well, that ain't where my dad heard it.

Well, what else did your dad teach you?

Hmm, let's think.

Oh, you'll like this one.

The secret to findin' out how your wife's gonna look

when she's older is to check out her mother.

Oh, ew.

What? Your mom's a fox.

That works in your favor.

Oh, here it comes again.

Oh, ew.

Dang.

Right back at ya, cowboy.

I'm gonna sleep good tonight.

So you're happy?

The happiest.

Cool, there's something we need to talk about.

I'm sorry I called your mom hot.

Can we just drop it?

No, i-it's not that.

Um, remember that trouble

I told you about when I was younger with the credit cards?

Yeah.

And I-I told you I learned my lesson?

Uh-huh.

It's more of an ongoing lesson.

What do you mean?

Well, it means I still have

a little bit of credit card debt.

How much we talkin'?

Well...

$12,000?!

I guess she told him.

Quiet, you're gonna wake the baby.

How could you not tell me?

Because it's my problem.

We're married now.

That makes it our problem.

You only had sex with me

to butter me up!

Well, think about how mad you'd be if I didn't.

You should've told me before we got married.

Yeah, well, I-I was taking care of it.

How?

You just, you send 'em 20 bucks a month

per card and they kind of leave you alone.

How many cards are there?

A couple.

- So two? - A few.

- So three? - Some.

We been talking about moving out and gettin' our own place.

How is that ever gonna happen?

I don't know, but we'll figure it out.

I cannot believe this.

I'm so sorry.

You should be.

Well, let me make it up to you.

No, cut it out!

The Georgie store is closed.

Yeah, I never thought Mandy'd be the one to blow this up.

Me, neither.

But I'll take it.

Mornin'.

Hey.

Sure is humid out there.

Gonna make my hair all frizzy.

You gonna pretend like you didn't

hear us fightin' last night?

That was my plan, yes.

Did you know about the credit cards?

Uh...

yeah.

Didn't think to give me a heads-up?

Oh, I thought about--

Ooh, cinnamon. Yum.

Hey, Ruben, let me ask you a question.

If you knew a secret that affected a family member,

you'd tell him, right?

What are you pulling him into this for?

I'd like a fresh perspective.

Well?

Well, what kind of secret?

A little white lie,

or your sister's actually your mom?

That's a thing?

When you're 16, pregnant and Catholic, yeah.

Well, his daughter owes a ton of money

and he didn't tell me about it.

Ooh, juicy.

How much?

Okay, that's enough.

Let's get back to work.

No, I'd like to hear what he's got to say.

Georgie!

Fine.

That baby even his?

You're on thin ice, pal.

Oh, come on, I told you about my mom.

Go.

...get your taxes in order and into the mail.

The Flyers ripped the Sabers four to--

So don't get too comfortable--

In sports...

Got a minute? Why?

You gonna kiss me and tell me

your mother's your sister?

What?

Never mind.

Here.

What's this?

It's all my credit card bills, everything.

Mastercard, American Express,

Visa, Discover.

Are there any you don't have?

They came to me, I didn't go to them.

Whoa, what's this charge for?

Um, a purse.

Just one?

A really nice one.

I'm assuming it didn't have Velcro.

What about this one?

Uh, that would be shoes.

And this one?

Shoes.

What's the Plaza?

Uh, that's a hotel in New York City...

across the street from a really great shoe store.

You went to New York to buy shoes?

Well, I also saw a taping of Saturday Night Live,

which was free.

What's this St. Joseph's Medical Center?

Oh, that, um...

that was an emergency room visit.

What happened to you?

It wasn't me, it was a friend of mine.

What happened to her?

It was a him, and he had an accident.

Okay, but why did you pay the bill?

'Cause he was my boyfriend, and he had no money.

You had no money.

Yeah, but I had the credit card.

- Well, did he pay you back? - No.

Well, he's gonna. Where's he live?

I don't know, it was a long time ago.

- What's his name? - Look, just drop it, okay?

This is my problem.

Once again, it's our problem!

Don't yell at me!

I'm not yelling, I'm freakin' out!

The Flyers ripped the Sabers 14-3.

The Canadiens got past the Flames 7-6.

Denfield scored three times,

helping the Penguins past the Jets...

Want a hug?

Sure.

All right.

Thought of a way you could make it up to me.

Georgie, when I found out you knocked up my daughter,

I was gonna shoot ya.

I didn't.

We're square.

Mandy paid some guy's medical bills.

What's his name?

You're not gonna quit, are ya?

St. Joseph's Medical Center.

Oh, that's a chunk of change.

And I'm gonna get it. What's his name?

Why don't you ask Mandy?

I did. She won't tell me.

Look, if I tell you,

it has to stay secret.

Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.

We're not on the monkey bars, just say you promise.

Promise.

Thank you.

Georgie.

You're a good man.

I try, sir.

So glad I didn't shoot him.

Can I help you?

You know a girl name of Mandy McAllister?

I used to, why?

You owe her a bunch of money.

Who are you?

I'm her husband.

Oh, damn, she got married?

I always thought someday we'd have a reconciliation.

Yeah, well, you snooze, you lose.

You're kinda young, ain't ya?

I live a healthy lifestyle, I stay out of the sun.

What are we gonna do about this?

Oh, yeah, I've been meaning to pay her back.

Well, now's your chance.

Come on in.

You see her mom much?

Why?

I always thought she was kinda hot.

Oh, ew.

You sure you don't want a beer?

No, thank you.

Now, how we gonna handle this money situation?

Simple. I'll, uh, write you a check.

All right, then.

I appreciate you being cool about this.

Well, making amends is one of the steps of being sober.

Ain't not drinking like step number one?

Oh, yeah, but that's beer, that don't count.

You know, Mandy was right to break up with me.

I wasn't in a great place.

- Worse than now? - Way worse.

The night she dumped me, I fell down a flight of stairs.

Ouch. Good thing I was drunk.

Only broke a wrist.

That's what that medical bill was.

Still clicks.

Hear it?

Oh, yeah.

Like a Bic pen.

Well, anyways, here you go.

Thank you.

Are y'all gonna have kids?

We got one, little girl.

Aw, well, maybe I can come meet her sometime.

I guess.

Where you live?

Alabama.

Well, shoot, leaving the state would be a parole violation.

Well, that's a shame. Good luck to ya.

I'm sorry, sir, this check is no good.

Yeah, I had a feeling. Thank you.

Hey. What the hell?

You gave me a bad check.

Yeah, sorry. Wait here, I'll get you cash.

You're awful quiet. You all right?

Just tired.

Busy day?

Busy, busy.

Connor, why don't you be a member of this family

and join us for once?

I'm good.

Well, I'm not.

Would you like to join me?

No.

Just know, you're always welcome.

Just so you know,

I'm gonna be working three nights a week at the diner,

start chipping away at those credit cards.

What about CeeCee?

Amanda and I have already discussed it.

Grandma's on the job.

Well, if I'm around, I can--

Grandma's got it!

Hey, Mr. McAllister, if you're open to it,

I've got some ideas as to how

I can be making more money at the store.

What you thinking?

Well, we got a tow truck

that mostly just sits there.

Why ain't we out there rescuing folks with flat tires?

'Cause the police always call Fagenbacher's Texaco

when someone needs a tow.

I get it, but what if I were to tell you

my Meemaw has some cop friends as a result of her...

previous endeavors?

Endeavors?

You mean an illegal gambling room?

We also had a perfectly legal video store to clean the money.

Georgie, where are you going with this?

Don't worry, everything will be aboveboard.

We can sponsor the police softball team,

make donations to their charity funds.

With what money?

I got a credit card.

You know, it's actually not a terrible idea.

There you go. Great minds think alike.

As long as I don't have to drive that truck at night...

I'm in.

No, sir, I'll do it.

I'll get a pager, be on call 24/7.

What if someone were to "accidentally"

drop a box of nails over on Main Street?

Mom.

I'm trying to pay off your credit card,

so back off!

I like it. Keep thinking.

Can someone pass the salt?

Thank you.

You realize with you working nights and me on a tow truck,

we might not be seeing a lot of each other.

I know.

Or a lot of CeeCee.

Well, we'll have a family reunion

when we get out of the hole I dug.

Sounds like a plan.

You're really wonderful, Georgie Cooper.

I know.

I am what you call "a catch."

Okay, don't get carried away with yourself.

I'm just saying, for a long time I thought

I was the lucky one in this relationship,

but maybe it's you.

Or maybe we're both lucky.

No, I'm pretty sure it's you.

You jerk.

Hey, if it's really important to you,

I-I'll reach out to my ex and try to get the money back.

Oh, no, no, no, you don't want that.

Best leave it in the past.

Okay.

Just promise me, no more secrets.

I promise.

You sure?

If there's anything you need to tell me, now's the time.

Nothing.

What about you?

Nothing.

What you see is what you get.

'Kay. Love you.

Love you, too.

Well, this is a sad sight.

What took so long?

Sorry. Had to fix a couple flats over on Main.

What's the trouble?

Don't know. It just conked out.

Well, you buy a foreign car, you take your chances.

It's British.

We're saying the same thing, gov'nah.

Hey, Georgie.

Oh, hey, Lisa.

Thanks for the call.

Thanks for the softball uniforms.

Oh, what a cute baby.

Thanks.

How old is this little guy?

Just turned one.

Oh, I got a daughter about that age.

She's at home with my mom.

Probably putting her to bed soon.

It's been a while since I missed story time.

Okay, let me tell you the specials.

The soup of the day is tomato

and, uh, we also have a chicken-fried steak

with a side of mashed potatoes.

You don't want to miss out on the pecan pie.

You have one new message.

Hey, Connor. Jay Leno here.

Just wanted to say thanks for the care package.

You know, you could never... have too many socks.

Anyway, listen, hey, if you're ever in L.A.,

if you want to come by and jam with The Tonight Show band,

the guys would love it. See ya.

Connor?

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