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1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,048
[piano music playing]
2
00:00:08,049 --> 00:00:09,800
[Kati] But first, my sister.
3
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:12,261
[Juju] Is she coming or... Is she here?
4
00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:13,596
Ohh!
5
00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:16,014
No! Fuck!
6
00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:17,517
Who is this?
7
00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:20,978
- What is that?
- Very nice choice, Kati.
8
00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:23,188
- What in the fuck is coming out of you?
- Strong man.
9
00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:25,483
I can't wait to have a taste.
10
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,986
You don't want me now, do you?
11
00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:29,988
No.
12
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:33,991
I mean, yeah, yeah, I do.
13
00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:37,203
I do, I'm really horny. I just...
14
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:40,331
You're so beautiful.
15
00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:44,251
Okay.
16
00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:47,088
Do her first and then me.
17
00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:48,672
Okay?
18
00:00:48,673 --> 00:00:51,760
Monsieur. Monsieur.
19
00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:54,803
Use the backdoor. She likes it.
20
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:55,888
Don't talk to her.
21
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,015
Come over here.
22
00:00:57,682 --> 00:00:58,932
Fuck me, big boy.
23
00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:00,310
[Kati] Yes! Fuck her.
24
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,270
She wants you.
25
00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:04,189
Okay.
26
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:06,315
Okay.
27
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,399
Yes.
28
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,400
Okay.
29
00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:09,359
Go get her.
30
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:10,819
Okay. Yeah.
31
00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:12,697
Yeah, her first.
32
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:14,783
Bonsoir, Monsieur.
33
00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:17,326
Bonsoir.
34
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:20,288
Your French is fantastic.
35
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:24,626
It arouses me
that you are a world traveler.
36
00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:27,544
Merci.
37
00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:29,631
Drop your pants and fuck me now!
38
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:31,966
- Okay.
- It's my turn.
39
00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:36,804
Put some butter on that baguette
and shove it in my ass.
40
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:37,846
Mmm...
41
00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:39,098
Now,
42
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:40,934
get it hard.
43
00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:44,394
Shove it in my tight little ass.
44
00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:47,899
Give it a good tug
like you're starting a lawn mower.
45
00:01:48,858 --> 00:01:50,777
Yes! Tug, tug, tug.
46
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,404
Big and hard.
47
00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:56,615
Your peepee is not going to grow?
48
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:57,574
I'm trying, man.
49
00:01:57,575 --> 00:02:00,035
- You've never had sex before?
- That's not what it is--
50
00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:02,579
Kati, you have to bring a man
who's ready to fuck.
51
00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:04,915
Your boy's not even hard.
52
00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:05,916
Pull harder.
53
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,127
Fuck.
54
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,129
Sorry, I...
55
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:10,921
You're not going to?
56
00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:13,048
I'm sorry. I'm just having a little--
57
00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:14,216
Do you need a little help?
58
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:17,512
No, no, I'm having
a little trouble back here.
59
00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:19,346
Put it in my mouth.
60
00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:20,681
No, no, no. That's okay.
61
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:23,225
- Oui. She loves it.
- Put it in my mouth, baby.
62
00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:25,519
- In her mouth?
- Oui. Put it in her mouth.
63
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:26,979
It's so special for her.
64
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,940
Climb up here and put it in my mouth.
65
00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:32,818
Can I put it in your mouth instead?
66
00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,653
[sighs] Do her first.
67
00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:35,904
Then, oui.
68
00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:39,283
- I'm much better at oral...
- Oh, my God.
69
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:40,784
...than Kati.
70
00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:42,578
- I love it in my mouth.
- Fuck.
71
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:45,414
Feeling it change in my mouth.
72
00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:46,374
It's exciting.
73
00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:49,668
Mount me, big boy.
74
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:51,337
Step over the back.
75
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,298
And lower yourself into my mouth.
76
00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:55,883
[laughs]
77
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:57,551
- In the mouth.
- Come in my mouth.
78
00:02:57,552 --> 00:03:00,388
Oui, oui, Juju. You got this.
79
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:03,641
[gagging]
80
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:08,897
Little, little.
81
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,026
Oh, fuck. What am I doing?
82
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,569
I can't wait for my turn.
83
00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:16,737
Me too.
84
00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:18,615
He's growing in my mouth.
85
00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:20,949
Okay. Okay.
86
00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,117
I'm ready, I guess.
87
00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:24,537
- Okay.
- [Brigitte] Don't come in my mouth.
88
00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,831
- Save it for my ass.
- Jesus.
89
00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:29,959
You're so tasty. [slurps]
90
00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:33,296
- Fuck me.
- Oh, God!
91
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:36,882
Oh, yes. Not just the head.
92
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,635
All the way.
93
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,888
God!
94
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,849
Oh, that feels good.
95
00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:46,350
Juju!
96
00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:47,977
Fuck me harder.
97
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:51,688
Yeah, Juju, like that.
98
00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:53,649
- Fuck me, you pussy.
- Oh, my God.
99
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:54,816
Oh, my God!
100
00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:56,401
Please stop talking.
101
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:59,154
No, you stop talking and fuck me!
102
00:03:59,155 --> 00:04:01,073
- She loves it.
- Good.
103
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,158
She hasn't made love in years.
104
00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:05,203
Ohh, I'm so lucky.
105
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:06,828
Take me.
106
00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:08,455
I can't wait for you.
107
00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:10,916
Oui. Ma soeur.
108
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,044
- Are you going to come?
- No. God, no.
109
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:14,921
Wait.
110
00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:17,130
I'm going to come.
111
00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:18,757
- Oh, fuck!
- [Kati] Oui!
112
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,175
You go, girl!
113
00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:21,344
[exclaiming]
114
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:23,972
[groans]
115
00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:38,278
[snores]
116
00:04:42,907 --> 00:04:43,991
Is she okay?
117
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:46,244
Oui. Juju, you did it.
118
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,957
Yeah, I guess I did.
119
00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,250
She's so happy.
120
00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,794
That's nice.
121
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:56,753
Uh...
122
00:04:56,754 --> 00:04:57,839
Can we go now?
123
00:04:58,715 --> 00:04:59,673
Oui.
124
00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:00,675
Oh, my God.
125
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,471
[snoring]
126
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,224
Ignore her.
127
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:09,726
Gladly.
128
00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:14,105
[moaning]
129
00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,025
Oui...
130
00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:19,027
Fuck me harder!
131
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:26,700
Oui, that's it! That's it!
132
00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:27,827
Good boy.
133
00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:29,912
Hey!
134
00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,622
Suck my big toe.
135
00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:34,082
Your big toe?
136
00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:35,959
- Yes.
- Okay.
137
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,045
Okay.
138
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,466
Ah, that's it!
139
00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:43,968
Just like that.
140
00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:49,681
Hey, that's my toe, baby!
141
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,309
- [laughs]
- Oh, fuck! What...
142
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:55,979
You're not a nice person.
Nobody in this town is!
143
00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:57,272
Where are you going?
144
00:05:57,273 --> 00:06:00,068
Come back here, Donkey Dick!
145
00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:06,948
Love.
146
00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:08,451
It fucking sucks.
147
00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,414
But it takes a little while to learn that.
148
00:06:15,374 --> 00:06:17,085
Ah, young love.
149
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,796
Enjoy your first dry tug, young man.
150
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:21,713
Hm?
151
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:23,298
You can't choose who you love,
152
00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:25,885
and you definitely can't choose
who loves you.
153
00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:29,388
Wonder if they're together again.
154
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,389
They're not.
155
00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:32,475
He's in hell.
156
00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:35,894
I love stories about love.
157
00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:39,022
And that's because I have a heart
twice the size of a normal person.
158
00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:42,527
It's called cardiomegaly,
and it very well might kill me.
159
00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:44,737
[sniffing]
160
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:46,905
[sighs]
161
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,241
I can't wait.
162
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:53,912
[Sarah] I love you.
163
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:55,331
[Carl] I love you so much.
164
00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:58,041
[sighs] Are you feeling okay?
165
00:06:58,042 --> 00:06:58,959
[Sarah] Yeah.
166
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,919
The meds are working really well.
167
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,963
- Good, good.
- The kids are coming later?
168
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,174
- They're coming, yeah.
- [Sarah] Okay. Good.
169
00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:07,844
Sarah, Carl.
170
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:11,389
This is Lilly Weiland.
She's from the Last Wish group.
171
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,225
I'll leave you to it.
172
00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:16,601
You must be Sarah.
173
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:19,855
Hi. And you are?
174
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:22,608
Oh, I'm Carl. I'm her husband.
175
00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:25,026
What's the Last Wish group?
176
00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:29,532
Well, uh, we do our very best
to deliver wishes.
177
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:33,493
Bucket list experiences
for people like Sarah.
178
00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:36,663
Oh, my God, that's so awesome.
179
00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:39,459
- You're still full of surprises.
- [both chuckle]
180
00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:41,960
Oh, God, you two are so cute.
181
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:44,337
Oh, well, I hit the jackpot with this one.
182
00:07:44,338 --> 00:07:46,298
He's the Popeye to my Olive Oyl.
183
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,424
- Right?
- Yeah.
184
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,468
[sobs]
185
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,428
[laughs like Popeye]
186
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:52,929
- I'm sorry.
- [Lilly chuckling]
187
00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:55,390
[sighs] What's your wish, honey?
188
00:07:55,391 --> 00:08:00,061
Well, Sarah did not make it easy on me,
but I love a challenge.
189
00:08:00,062 --> 00:08:02,190
[gasps] It's Sergei, isn't it?
190
00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:03,982
The violinist?
191
00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:06,276
She wanted to see the symphony
one last time.
192
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:08,403
It's not that but...
193
00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:11,532
Is it Chip and Joanna Gaines from HGTV?
194
00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:14,327
Maybe Maroon 5 Adam Levine.
195
00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:18,706
[upbeat music playing]
196
00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:27,839
Wait, it's...
197
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,342
Barry the Sandwich Guy on TV.
198
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,594
How are you doing, bud?
199
00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:35,306
Um, so your last wish is a Hoagie?
200
00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:38,266
[Lilly] Well, that and other things.
201
00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:41,436
Her wish includes a turkey
and provolone club
202
00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:43,647
- from the Hoagie Hut.
- Bestseller.
203
00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:46,274
A bag of sea salt potato chips.
204
00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:47,609
[Barry] As requested.
205
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,819
And for Barry,
206
00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,905
the manager of Hoagie Hut...
207
00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:52,907
Owner-operator.
208
00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:56,327
[Lilly] Owner-operator to...
209
00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:59,579
"Fuck every hole
and fill me with this big boy jizz.
210
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:02,499
I want big boy jizz,
not little bitch boy jizz
211
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:06,211
to make me feel like a real woman,
for once in my life."
212
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,630
[chuckling] Wait, wait, wait.
What is this?
213
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:10,799
Is this some sort of prank or something?
214
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,884
No, it's the real deal, pal.
215
00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,094
What's big-boy jizz?
216
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,138
That's the only kind I carry.
217
00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:18,056
Hold on.
218
00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:20,475
I'm sorry. Is there gonna be a problem?
219
00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:23,979
- Actually, I'm sorry. There is a problem.
- Yeah, there's a problem.
220
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:27,148
I think you missed the part about him
dragging his nuts across my face.
221
00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:28,400
[sputters] What?
222
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:32,070
Oh, God, I'm so sorry,
It continued on to the next page.
223
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,614
"I want him to drag his nuts
across my face..."
224
00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:36,408
- There it is.
- "...fold me in half
225
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,701
and make me his cum pig.
226
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:40,203
Shove my head in a trash can
to snap my back..."
227
00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:41,496
"Cum pig"?
228
00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:44,374
"...and to fill me with this girthy meat."
229
00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:48,546
Wait a second. Are you cheating on me
with Barry from Hoagie Hut?
230
00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:50,672
- Whoa. No.
- No!
231
00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:54,342
The guy we make fun of his billboards.
He karate-chops his sandwiches. That guy?
232
00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:56,553
Of course not. Of course not.
233
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:57,929
No, no, no, no.
234
00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,723
This is just a fantasy.
235
00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,308
Fantasies happen in your mind.
236
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:03,226
This is happening right now in this room.
237
00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:04,728
No, it's like...
238
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:07,648
It's like last year
when you went to the Masters.
239
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:11,402
This is not that at all! That was golf.
240
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,613
This is my golf.
241
00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:17,365
- You both like golf.
- Shut up, Barry.
242
00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:19,451
All right, Carl,
let's just give them some space.
243
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:20,493
Excuse me, um...
244
00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:24,122
So my wife isn't mentally fit
to make this decision, right?
245
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,626
Oh. This one is still as sharp as a tack.
246
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,628
[Barry spits]
247
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:32,088
Do not spit on my dying wife, man.
248
00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:34,674
- Piece of shit.
- All right, let me go talk to him.
249
00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:36,885
- You spit on her, man.
- [mumbles]
250
00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:39,471
Look, I don't know if I'm going crazy,
251
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,765
but it feels like
you don't want me to fuck your wife.
252
00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:42,891
That's correct.
253
00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,392
[Barry sighs] Shit.
254
00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:46,354
I've been holding this load for a week.
255
00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:49,314
- I don't care.
- I lapped it up, Daddy!
256
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:50,232
Good girl.
257
00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:52,359
You know, the thing is, man,
258
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,778
I think you're just kind of
looking at the situation wrong.
259
00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:57,155
It's about perspective.
You know what you are?
260
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:58,865
- What?
- A ham and cheese sandwich.
261
00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:02,202
They're good. It's good bread,
it's good ham, it's good cheese.
262
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:04,871
But you can get it anywhere, any day.
263
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:06,289
And I'm over here.
264
00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:09,084
I'm like imported specialty meats.
265
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:12,045
Prosciuttos, and jamรณn serranos,
266
00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:14,130
some Vietnamese pork belly,
267
00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:16,174
bok choy, kare-kare.
268
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:17,634
I'm like a bรกnh mรฌ.
269
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:20,179
You see that and you go,
"This is fucking crazy."
270
00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:22,056
You get it?
271
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,599
He gets it.
272
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,644
All right. If I start now,
I can come four times in an hour.
273
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:30,397
- Oh.
- Ah, the first one is always quick.
274
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:31,357
I don't know why.
275
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,441
[Carl] No.
276
00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,485
- [Barry sighs]
- No, no, no. Nope!
277
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:36,986
You can't do this.
278
00:11:36,987 --> 00:11:38,071
You cannot do this!
279
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:40,281
- I already took the pill.
- [doctor] I'm sorry.
280
00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:42,493
Did I just hear someone deny a last wish?
281
00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:44,077
Him.
282
00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:48,790
In my 35 years of medicine,
I've never heard someone deny a last wish.
283
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:50,834
You're being incredibly selfish, Carl.
284
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:52,128
I'm selfish?
285
00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:55,171
Am I losing my fucking mind?
286
00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:57,924
You know, we can certainly
have you evaluated
287
00:11:57,925 --> 00:11:59,509
if you're feeling unwell.
288
00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:00,928
That's a good idea, Doc.
289
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:04,640
[somber music playing]
290
00:12:11,939 --> 00:12:14,233
- That won't be necessary.
- Good.
291
00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:16,526
- Okay.
- [Lilly] All right, Carl.
292
00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:18,194
- Let's get you out of here.
- Come on.
293
00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:19,905
[Lilly] You're not gonna wanna see this.
294
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,286
I can't wait for you to try this.
295
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:27,997
I'm using a new mayo.
296
00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:29,707
[Carl] Barry?
297
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:32,835
Can you please use a condom?
298
00:12:38,674 --> 00:12:39,884
[Barry sighs]
299
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:48,934
No.
300
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,188
[upbeat music playing]
301
00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:58,276
[pilot in Spanish] Good evening.
302
00:12:58,277 --> 00:12:59,819
This is your captain speaking.
303
00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:01,571
We're at cruising altitude.
304
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,699
{\an8}While you sleep, I'll pet the co-pilot.
305
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,035
{\an8}Have a good flight.
306
00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:20,090
[Kyle] In love?
307
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,300
Excuse me?
308
00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:24,261
You in love?
309
00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:26,846
[Tom] Oh, no, it's for my wife.
310
00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:28,389
You don't love your wife?
311
00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:30,141
[chuckles] Sorry.
312
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:31,936
I meant yes, I love my wife.
313
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:34,145
Just...
314
00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:37,191
I'm going home after being away
for a while. That's all.
315
00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:41,028
[bell dings]
316
00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:44,113
We good?
317
00:13:44,114 --> 00:13:45,741
I feel like I know you.
318
00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:48,202
Nah, you don't.
319
00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:50,954
Wait. Are you that comedian?
320
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,038
No.
321
00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:53,164
Bikes!
322
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,999
Right! Tom Segura.
323
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,417
You're funny, man.
324
00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:59,420
- Bikes! Bikes!
- Okay. Dude.
325
00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:00,421
- Sir? Sir.
- Yeah.
326
00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:02,340
I'm going to need you
to keep your voice down.
327
00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:03,716
Me?
328
00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:05,469
Thank you for your cooperation.
329
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:11,391
- I always yell that. Bikes!
- Okay, thank you. Appreciate it, man.
330
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,269
What was that other bit you had again?
331
00:14:14,436 --> 00:14:15,311
I don't know.
332
00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:18,690
Oh, yeah, it's that
calling someone a midget
333
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,858
isn't as bad as calling someone a [bleep].
334
00:14:20,859 --> 00:14:22,902
Jesus Christ, dude!
335
00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:25,280
- You can't say that.
- What? [bleep].
336
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,282
- You shouldn't say that word.
- But you did.
337
00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:30,660
- You said that in your act.
- It was a joke from a long time ago, okay?
338
00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,412
Such a funny joke.
339
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:35,623
The joke was about equating words
that aren't equal.
340
00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:37,333
Somebody said that they were,
341
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:39,669
and all I said
was that saying the "M" word
342
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:41,839
was not the same as saying the "N" word.
343
00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:44,340
But I don't say either in my real life,
344
00:14:44,341 --> 00:14:47,635
and you're saying both
right now very loudly, I might add.
345
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:50,805
The captain has turned on
the seatbelt sign.
346
00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:52,348
We're gonna have a few bumps.
347
00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:53,975
[Kyle] So let me get this straight.
348
00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:58,021
Your argument is saying, "midget" isn't
349
00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:01,316
as hurtful as saying [bleep].
350
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:02,901
Christ, dude!
351
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,027
[bell dings]
352
00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:04,944
Yes, sir?
353
00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:07,196
That man is very inappropriate.
354
00:15:07,197 --> 00:15:09,449
- He also hates his wife.
- No, I don't hate my wife.
355
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,785
Sir, please do not make me ask you again.
356
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:16,707
You really should not say that word.
357
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,083
I'm sorry, which word?
358
00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:20,752
You know which one's off limits.
359
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:25,214
- I do not know. I say a lot of words.
- We're talking about two fun words
360
00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:28,009
that you get to play with one
and you don't get to touch the other.
361
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,594
What about me, Tommy?
362
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,764
What words am I allowed to say?
363
00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:37,477
You can say both.
364
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:38,519
Both what?
365
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,438
Both words.
366
00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:43,775
Both words that we were...
He was saying. Out loud.
367
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,109
Tell me what word.
368
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:46,569
I can't.
369
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:47,820
Why?
370
00:15:47,821 --> 00:15:49,864
'Cause... 'cause you're...
371
00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:50,782
I'm what?
372
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,201
You're both of the...
373
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:56,120
You fit into the different boxes.
374
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:57,664
He said I could fit into boxes now.
375
00:15:57,665 --> 00:15:59,332
Fitting in a box? We can fit in a box?
376
00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,834
[David] I'm calling it flying first class.
This what I get--
377
00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:04,003
- I need an able-bodied volunteer.
- Right here.
378
00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:06,172
So we're not able-bodied?
Is that what you're saying?
379
00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:08,841
- I'm just trying to help.
- [attendant] Come with me, please.
380
00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:10,468
- You guys are nuts.
- You're nuts, man.
381
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,011
You saved my ass. Those guys--
382
00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:13,304
Do you speak Spanish?
383
00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:14,347
Yeah. Fluently.
384
00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,474
- [sighs] The pilots are dead.
- What?
385
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:17,726
[electronics beeping]
386
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:21,187
What the fuck?
387
00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:22,605
How did this happen?
388
00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:25,984
They were doing their pilot sex shit,
and it got out of hand.
389
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,610
Pilot sex shit?
390
00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:29,571
All pilots have sex with each other.
391
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:32,365
Why do you think Sully hit those birds?
392
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:34,367
[Tommy] They left that part
out of the movie.
393
00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,577
Yeah. Okay, we need you to land the plane.
394
00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:37,496
What?
395
00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,421
[upbeat music playing]
25030
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