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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,048 [piano music playing] 2 00:00:08,049 --> 00:00:09,800 [Kati] But first, my sister. 3 00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:12,261 [Juju] Is she coming or... Is she here? 4 00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:13,596 Ohh! 5 00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:16,014 No! Fuck! 6 00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:17,517 Who is this? 7 00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:20,978 - What is that? - Very nice choice, Kati. 8 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:23,188 - What in the fuck is coming out of you? - Strong man. 9 00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:25,483 I can't wait to have a taste. 10 00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,986 You don't want me now, do you? 11 00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:29,988 No. 12 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:33,991 I mean, yeah, yeah, I do. 13 00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:37,203 I do, I'm really horny. I just... 14 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:40,331 You're so beautiful. 15 00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:44,251 Okay. 16 00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:47,088 Do her first and then me. 17 00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:48,672 Okay? 18 00:00:48,673 --> 00:00:51,760 Monsieur. Monsieur. 19 00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:54,803 Use the backdoor. She likes it. 20 00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:55,888 Don't talk to her. 21 00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,015 Come over here. 22 00:00:57,682 --> 00:00:58,932 Fuck me, big boy. 23 00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:00,310 [Kati] Yes! Fuck her. 24 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,270 She wants you. 25 00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:04,189 Okay. 26 00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:06,315 Okay. 27 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,399 Yes. 28 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:08,400 Okay. 29 00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:09,359 Go get her. 30 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:10,819 Okay. Yeah. 31 00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:12,697 Yeah, her first. 32 00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:14,783 Bonsoir, Monsieur. 33 00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:17,326 Bonsoir. 34 00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:20,288 Your French is fantastic. 35 00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:24,626 It arouses me that you are a world traveler. 36 00:01:26,461 --> 00:01:27,544 Merci. 37 00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:29,631 Drop your pants and fuck me now! 38 00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:31,966 - Okay. - It's my turn. 39 00:01:32,842 --> 00:01:36,804 Put some butter on that baguette and shove it in my ass. 40 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:37,846 Mmm... 41 00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:39,098 Now, 42 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:40,934 get it hard. 43 00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:44,394 Shove it in my tight little ass. 44 00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:47,899 Give it a good tug like you're starting a lawn mower. 45 00:01:48,858 --> 00:01:50,777 Yes! Tug, tug, tug. 46 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,404 Big and hard. 47 00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:56,615 Your peepee is not going to grow? 48 00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:57,574 I'm trying, man. 49 00:01:57,575 --> 00:02:00,035 - You've never had sex before? - That's not what it is-- 50 00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:02,579 Kati, you have to bring a man who's ready to fuck. 51 00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:04,915 Your boy's not even hard. 52 00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:05,916 Pull harder. 53 00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,127 Fuck. 54 00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,129 Sorry, I... 55 00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:10,921 You're not going to? 56 00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:13,048 I'm sorry. I'm just having a little-- 57 00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:14,216 Do you need a little help? 58 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:17,512 No, no, I'm having a little trouble back here. 59 00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:19,346 Put it in my mouth. 60 00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:20,681 No, no, no. That's okay. 61 00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:23,225 - Oui. She loves it. - Put it in my mouth, baby. 62 00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:25,519 - In her mouth? - Oui. Put it in her mouth. 63 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:26,979 It's so special for her. 64 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:28,940 Climb up here and put it in my mouth. 65 00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:32,818 Can I put it in your mouth instead? 66 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,653 [sighs] Do her first. 67 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:35,904 Then, oui. 68 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:39,283 - I'm much better at oral... - Oh, my God. 69 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:40,784 ...than Kati. 70 00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:42,578 - I love it in my mouth. - Fuck. 71 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:45,414 Feeling it change in my mouth. 72 00:02:45,415 --> 00:02:46,374 It's exciting. 73 00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:49,668 Mount me, big boy. 74 00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:51,337 Step over the back. 75 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:54,298 And lower yourself into my mouth. 76 00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:55,883 [laughs] 77 00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:57,551 - In the mouth. - Come in my mouth. 78 00:02:57,552 --> 00:03:00,388 Oui, oui, Juju. You got this. 79 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:03,641 [gagging] 80 00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:08,897 Little, little. 81 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,026 Oh, fuck. What am I doing? 82 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,569 I can't wait for my turn. 83 00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:16,737 Me too. 84 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:18,615 He's growing in my mouth. 85 00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:20,949 Okay. Okay. 86 00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,117 I'm ready, I guess. 87 00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:24,537 - Okay. - [Brigitte] Don't come in my mouth. 88 00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,831 - Save it for my ass. - Jesus. 89 00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:29,959 You're so tasty. [slurps] 90 00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:33,296 - Fuck me. - Oh, God! 91 00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:36,882 Oh, yes. Not just the head. 92 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,635 All the way. 93 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,888 God! 94 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,849 Oh, that feels good. 95 00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:46,350 Juju! 96 00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:47,977 Fuck me harder. 97 00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:51,688 Yeah, Juju, like that. 98 00:03:51,689 --> 00:03:53,649 - Fuck me, you pussy. - Oh, my God. 99 00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:54,816 Oh, my God! 100 00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:56,401 Please stop talking. 101 00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:59,154 No, you stop talking and fuck me! 102 00:03:59,155 --> 00:04:01,073 - She loves it. - Good. 103 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,158 She hasn't made love in years. 104 00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:05,203 Ohh, I'm so lucky. 105 00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:06,828 Take me. 106 00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:08,455 I can't wait for you. 107 00:04:08,456 --> 00:04:10,916 Oui. Ma soeur. 108 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,044 - Are you going to come? - No. God, no. 109 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:14,921 Wait. 110 00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:17,130 I'm going to come. 111 00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:18,757 - Oh, fuck! - [Kati] Oui! 112 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,175 You go, girl! 113 00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:21,344 [exclaiming] 114 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:23,972 [groans] 115 00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:38,278 [snores] 116 00:04:42,907 --> 00:04:43,991 Is she okay? 117 00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:46,244 Oui. Juju, you did it. 118 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,957 Yeah, I guess I did. 119 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:53,250 She's so happy. 120 00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,794 That's nice. 121 00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:56,753 Uh... 122 00:04:56,754 --> 00:04:57,839 Can we go now? 123 00:04:58,715 --> 00:04:59,673 Oui. 124 00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:00,675 Oh, my God. 125 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,471 [snoring] 126 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,224 Ignore her. 127 00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:09,726 Gladly. 128 00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:14,105 [moaning] 129 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:17,025 Oui... 130 00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:19,027 Fuck me harder! 131 00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:26,700 Oui, that's it! That's it! 132 00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:27,827 Good boy. 133 00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:29,912 Hey! 134 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,622 Suck my big toe. 135 00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:34,082 Your big toe? 136 00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:35,959 - Yes. - Okay. 137 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,045 Okay. 138 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,466 Ah, that's it! 139 00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:43,968 Just like that. 140 00:05:46,596 --> 00:05:49,681 Hey, that's my toe, baby! 141 00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,309 - [laughs] - Oh, fuck! What... 142 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:55,979 You're not a nice person. Nobody in this town is! 143 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:57,272 Where are you going? 144 00:05:57,273 --> 00:06:00,068 Come back here, Donkey Dick! 145 00:06:05,364 --> 00:06:06,948 Love. 146 00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:08,451 It fucking sucks. 147 00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:13,414 But it takes a little while to learn that. 148 00:06:15,374 --> 00:06:17,085 Ah, young love. 149 00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:19,796 Enjoy your first dry tug, young man. 150 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:21,713 Hm? 151 00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:23,298 You can't choose who you love, 152 00:06:23,299 --> 00:06:25,885 and you definitely can't choose who loves you. 153 00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:29,388 Wonder if they're together again. 154 00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,389 They're not. 155 00:06:31,390 --> 00:06:32,475 He's in hell. 156 00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:35,894 I love stories about love. 157 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:39,022 And that's because I have a heart twice the size of a normal person. 158 00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:42,527 It's called cardiomegaly, and it very well might kill me. 159 00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:44,737 [sniffing] 160 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:46,905 [sighs] 161 00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,241 I can't wait. 162 00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:53,912 [Sarah] I love you. 163 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:55,331 [Carl] I love you so much. 164 00:06:55,998 --> 00:06:58,041 [sighs] Are you feeling okay? 165 00:06:58,042 --> 00:06:58,959 [Sarah] Yeah. 166 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,919 The meds are working really well. 167 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,963 - Good, good. - The kids are coming later? 168 00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,174 - They're coming, yeah. - [Sarah] Okay. Good. 169 00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:07,844 Sarah, Carl. 170 00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:11,389 This is Lilly Weiland. She's from the Last Wish group. 171 00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,225 I'll leave you to it. 172 00:07:15,643 --> 00:07:16,601 You must be Sarah. 173 00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:19,855 Hi. And you are? 174 00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:22,608 Oh, I'm Carl. I'm her husband. 175 00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:25,026 What's the Last Wish group? 176 00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:29,532 Well, uh, we do our very best to deliver wishes. 177 00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:33,493 Bucket list experiences for people like Sarah. 178 00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:36,663 Oh, my God, that's so awesome. 179 00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:39,459 - You're still full of surprises. - [both chuckle] 180 00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:41,960 Oh, God, you two are so cute. 181 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:44,337 Oh, well, I hit the jackpot with this one. 182 00:07:44,338 --> 00:07:46,298 He's the Popeye to my Olive Oyl. 183 00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:47,424 - Right? - Yeah. 184 00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,468 [sobs] 185 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,428 [laughs like Popeye] 186 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:52,929 - I'm sorry. - [Lilly chuckling] 187 00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:55,390 [sighs] What's your wish, honey? 188 00:07:55,391 --> 00:08:00,061 Well, Sarah did not make it easy on me, but I love a challenge. 189 00:08:00,062 --> 00:08:02,190 [gasps] It's Sergei, isn't it? 190 00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:03,982 The violinist? 191 00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:06,276 She wanted to see the symphony one last time. 192 00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:08,403 It's not that but... 193 00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:11,532 Is it Chip and Joanna Gaines from HGTV? 194 00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:14,327 Maybe Maroon 5 Adam Levine. 195 00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:18,706 [upbeat music playing] 196 00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:27,839 Wait, it's... 197 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,342 Barry the Sandwich Guy on TV. 198 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,594 How are you doing, bud? 199 00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:35,306 Um, so your last wish is a Hoagie? 200 00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:38,266 [Lilly] Well, that and other things. 201 00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:41,436 Her wish includes a turkey and provolone club 202 00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:43,647 - from the Hoagie Hut. - Bestseller. 203 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:46,274 A bag of sea salt potato chips. 204 00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:47,609 [Barry] As requested. 205 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,819 And for Barry, 206 00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,905 the manager of Hoagie Hut... 207 00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:52,907 Owner-operator. 208 00:08:53,658 --> 00:08:56,327 [Lilly] Owner-operator to... 209 00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:59,579 "Fuck every hole and fill me with this big boy jizz. 210 00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:02,499 I want big boy jizz, not little bitch boy jizz 211 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:06,211 to make me feel like a real woman, for once in my life." 212 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,630 [chuckling] Wait, wait, wait. What is this? 213 00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:10,799 Is this some sort of prank or something? 214 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,884 No, it's the real deal, pal. 215 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,094 What's big-boy jizz? 216 00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,138 That's the only kind I carry. 217 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:18,056 Hold on. 218 00:09:18,057 --> 00:09:20,475 I'm sorry. Is there gonna be a problem? 219 00:09:20,476 --> 00:09:23,979 - Actually, I'm sorry. There is a problem. - Yeah, there's a problem. 220 00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:27,148 I think you missed the part about him dragging his nuts across my face. 221 00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:28,400 [sputters] What? 222 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:32,070 Oh, God, I'm so sorry, It continued on to the next page. 223 00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:34,614 "I want him to drag his nuts across my face..." 224 00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:36,408 - There it is. - "...fold me in half 225 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,701 and make me his cum pig. 226 00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:40,203 Shove my head in a trash can to snap my back..." 227 00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:41,496 "Cum pig"? 228 00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:44,374 "...and to fill me with this girthy meat." 229 00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:48,546 Wait a second. Are you cheating on me with Barry from Hoagie Hut? 230 00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:50,672 - Whoa. No. - No! 231 00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:54,342 The guy we make fun of his billboards. He karate-chops his sandwiches. That guy? 232 00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:56,553 Of course not. Of course not. 233 00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:57,929 No, no, no, no. 234 00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,723 This is just a fantasy. 235 00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,308 Fantasies happen in your mind. 236 00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:03,226 This is happening right now in this room. 237 00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:04,728 No, it's like... 238 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:07,648 It's like last year when you went to the Masters. 239 00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:11,402 This is not that at all! That was golf. 240 00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:13,613 This is my golf. 241 00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:17,365 - You both like golf. - Shut up, Barry. 242 00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:19,451 All right, Carl, let's just give them some space. 243 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:20,493 Excuse me, um... 244 00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:24,122 So my wife isn't mentally fit to make this decision, right? 245 00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,626 Oh. This one is still as sharp as a tack. 246 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,628 [Barry spits] 247 00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:32,088 Do not spit on my dying wife, man. 248 00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:34,674 - Piece of shit. - All right, let me go talk to him. 249 00:10:34,675 --> 00:10:36,885 - You spit on her, man. - [mumbles] 250 00:10:36,886 --> 00:10:39,471 Look, I don't know if I'm going crazy, 251 00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,765 but it feels like you don't want me to fuck your wife. 252 00:10:41,766 --> 00:10:42,891 That's correct. 253 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,392 [Barry sighs] Shit. 254 00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:46,354 I've been holding this load for a week. 255 00:10:46,937 --> 00:10:49,314 - I don't care. - I lapped it up, Daddy! 256 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:50,232 Good girl. 257 00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:52,359 You know, the thing is, man, 258 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,778 I think you're just kind of looking at the situation wrong. 259 00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:57,155 It's about perspective. You know what you are? 260 00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:58,865 - What? - A ham and cheese sandwich. 261 00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:02,202 They're good. It's good bread, it's good ham, it's good cheese. 262 00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:04,871 But you can get it anywhere, any day. 263 00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:06,289 And I'm over here. 264 00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:09,084 I'm like imported specialty meats. 265 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:12,045 Prosciuttos, and jamรณn serranos, 266 00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:14,130 some Vietnamese pork belly, 267 00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:16,174 bok choy, kare-kare. 268 00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:17,634 I'm like a bรกnh mรฌ. 269 00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:20,179 You see that and you go, "This is fucking crazy." 270 00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:22,056 You get it? 271 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,599 He gets it. 272 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,644 All right. If I start now, I can come four times in an hour. 273 00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:30,397 - Oh. - Ah, the first one is always quick. 274 00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:31,357 I don't know why. 275 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:33,441 [Carl] No. 276 00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,485 - [Barry sighs] - No, no, no. Nope! 277 00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:36,986 You can't do this. 278 00:11:36,987 --> 00:11:38,071 You cannot do this! 279 00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:40,281 - I already took the pill. - [doctor] I'm sorry. 280 00:11:40,282 --> 00:11:42,493 Did I just hear someone deny a last wish? 281 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:44,077 Him. 282 00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:48,790 In my 35 years of medicine, I've never heard someone deny a last wish. 283 00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:50,834 You're being incredibly selfish, Carl. 284 00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:52,128 I'm selfish? 285 00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:55,171 Am I losing my fucking mind? 286 00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:57,924 You know, we can certainly have you evaluated 287 00:11:57,925 --> 00:11:59,509 if you're feeling unwell. 288 00:11:59,510 --> 00:12:00,928 That's a good idea, Doc. 289 00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:04,640 [somber music playing] 290 00:12:11,939 --> 00:12:14,233 - That won't be necessary. - Good. 291 00:12:14,942 --> 00:12:16,526 - Okay. - [Lilly] All right, Carl. 292 00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:18,194 - Let's get you out of here. - Come on. 293 00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:19,905 [Lilly] You're not gonna wanna see this. 294 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,286 I can't wait for you to try this. 295 00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:27,997 I'm using a new mayo. 296 00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:29,707 [Carl] Barry? 297 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:32,835 Can you please use a condom? 298 00:12:38,674 --> 00:12:39,884 [Barry sighs] 299 00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:48,934 No. 300 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,188 [upbeat music playing] 301 00:12:56,984 --> 00:12:58,276 [pilot in Spanish] Good evening. 302 00:12:58,277 --> 00:12:59,819 This is your captain speaking. 303 00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:01,571 We're at cruising altitude. 304 00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,699 {\an8}While you sleep, I'll pet the co-pilot. 305 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,035 {\an8}Have a good flight. 306 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:20,090 [Kyle] In love? 307 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,300 Excuse me? 308 00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:24,261 You in love? 309 00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:26,846 [Tom] Oh, no, it's for my wife. 310 00:13:26,847 --> 00:13:28,389 You don't love your wife? 311 00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:30,141 [chuckles] Sorry. 312 00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:31,936 I meant yes, I love my wife. 313 00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:34,145 Just... 314 00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:37,191 I'm going home after being away for a while. That's all. 315 00:13:39,693 --> 00:13:41,028 [bell dings] 316 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:44,113 We good? 317 00:13:44,114 --> 00:13:45,741 I feel like I know you. 318 00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:48,202 Nah, you don't. 319 00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:50,954 Wait. Are you that comedian? 320 00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,038 No. 321 00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:53,164 Bikes! 322 00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:54,999 Right! Tom Segura. 323 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,417 You're funny, man. 324 00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:59,420 - Bikes! Bikes! - Okay. Dude. 325 00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:00,421 - Sir? Sir. - Yeah. 326 00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:02,340 I'm going to need you to keep your voice down. 327 00:14:02,341 --> 00:14:03,716 Me? 328 00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:05,469 Thank you for your cooperation. 329 00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:11,391 - I always yell that. Bikes! - Okay, thank you. Appreciate it, man. 330 00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,269 What was that other bit you had again? 331 00:14:14,436 --> 00:14:15,311 I don't know. 332 00:14:15,312 --> 00:14:18,690 Oh, yeah, it's that calling someone a midget 333 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,858 isn't as bad as calling someone a [bleep]. 334 00:14:20,859 --> 00:14:22,902 Jesus Christ, dude! 335 00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:25,280 - You can't say that. - What? [bleep]. 336 00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,282 - You shouldn't say that word. - But you did. 337 00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:30,660 - You said that in your act. - It was a joke from a long time ago, okay? 338 00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:32,412 Such a funny joke. 339 00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:35,623 The joke was about equating words that aren't equal. 340 00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:37,333 Somebody said that they were, 341 00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:39,669 and all I said was that saying the "M" word 342 00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:41,839 was not the same as saying the "N" word. 343 00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:44,340 But I don't say either in my real life, 344 00:14:44,341 --> 00:14:47,635 and you're saying both right now very loudly, I might add. 345 00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:50,805 The captain has turned on the seatbelt sign. 346 00:14:50,806 --> 00:14:52,348 We're gonna have a few bumps. 347 00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:53,975 [Kyle] So let me get this straight. 348 00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:58,021 Your argument is saying, "midget" isn't 349 00:14:58,022 --> 00:15:01,316 as hurtful as saying [bleep]. 350 00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:02,901 Christ, dude! 351 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,027 [bell dings] 352 00:15:04,028 --> 00:15:04,944 Yes, sir? 353 00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:07,196 That man is very inappropriate. 354 00:15:07,197 --> 00:15:09,449 - He also hates his wife. - No, I don't hate my wife. 355 00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,785 Sir, please do not make me ask you again. 356 00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:16,707 You really should not say that word. 357 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,083 I'm sorry, which word? 358 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:20,752 You know which one's off limits. 359 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:25,214 - I do not know. I say a lot of words. - We're talking about two fun words 360 00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:28,009 that you get to play with one and you don't get to touch the other. 361 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,594 What about me, Tommy? 362 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,764 What words am I allowed to say? 363 00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:37,477 You can say both. 364 00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:38,519 Both what? 365 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,438 Both words. 366 00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:43,775 Both words that we were... He was saying. Out loud. 367 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:45,109 Tell me what word. 368 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:46,569 I can't. 369 00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:47,820 Why? 370 00:15:47,821 --> 00:15:49,864 'Cause... 'cause you're... 371 00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:50,782 I'm what? 372 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,201 You're both of the... 373 00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:56,120 You fit into the different boxes. 374 00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:57,664 He said I could fit into boxes now. 375 00:15:57,665 --> 00:15:59,332 Fitting in a box? We can fit in a box? 376 00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,834 [David] I'm calling it flying first class. This what I get-- 377 00:16:01,835 --> 00:16:04,003 - I need an able-bodied volunteer. - Right here. 378 00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:06,172 So we're not able-bodied? Is that what you're saying? 379 00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:08,841 - I'm just trying to help. - [attendant] Come with me, please. 380 00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:10,468 - You guys are nuts. - You're nuts, man. 381 00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,011 You saved my ass. Those guys-- 382 00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:13,304 Do you speak Spanish? 383 00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:14,347 Yeah. Fluently. 384 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,474 - [sighs] The pilots are dead. - What? 385 00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:17,726 [electronics beeping] 386 00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:21,187 What the fuck? 387 00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:22,605 How did this happen? 388 00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:25,984 They were doing their pilot sex shit, and it got out of hand. 389 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,610 Pilot sex shit? 390 00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:29,571 All pilots have sex with each other. 391 00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:32,365 Why do you think Sully hit those birds? 392 00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:34,367 [Tommy] They left that part out of the movie. 393 00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,577 Yeah. Okay, we need you to land the plane. 394 00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:37,496 What? 395 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,421 [upbeat music playing] 25030

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