All language subtitles for Your Family or Mine 1x06 - The Speech (English)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,227 --> 00:00:07,386 You... you named it a way in a boob situation? 2 00:00:08,136 --> 00:00:10,477 It's hard to know which way to go. 3 00:00:10,597 --> 00:00:14,023 I mean... this top looks best when I let the girls out a bit 4 00:00:15,458 --> 00:00:17,350 Yeah, but it is an award ceremony 5 00:00:17,470 --> 00:00:21,462 Where your dad is being honored, so I vote button done up. 6 00:00:22,715 --> 00:00:25,466 Hey, I'll see you guys later, okay? 7 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:31,352 oh, God. My dad better win tonight. 8 00:00:31,472 --> 00:00:33,305 Oh, he will for sure. 9 00:00:33,357 --> 00:00:34,857 There's five people in the department, 10 00:00:34,892 --> 00:00:36,558 And the other four have already won. 11 00:00:36,610 --> 00:00:37,810 Well, if he does win, 12 00:00:37,862 --> 00:00:39,778 Get ready to deal with a very cocky Gil. 13 00:00:40,815 --> 00:00:42,648 Oh, I think I'm ready. 14 00:00:42,700 --> 00:00:44,650 The last time I was over there, he declared, 15 00:00:44,702 --> 00:00:47,903 "no one in the universe wears pants as well as I do." 16 00:00:49,073 --> 00:00:51,490 He is proud of weird things. 17 00:00:51,492 --> 00:00:53,659 But then again, so are you. 18 00:00:53,711 --> 00:00:55,544 What are you talking about? 19 00:00:55,579 --> 00:00:58,497 Your ears? 20 00:00:58,549 --> 00:01:00,833 Honey, that is not weird. 21 00:01:00,885 --> 00:01:03,719 Seriously, name one guy even a celebrity... 22 00:01:03,754 --> 00:01:06,054 Who has better ears than me. 23 00:01:06,090 --> 00:01:07,723 Go ahead! Name one! 24 00:01:07,758 --> 00:01:09,808 Baby, I can't I don't... 25 00:01:09,844 --> 00:01:12,928 Well, e-exactly! Because there isn't anyone! 26 00:01:12,980 --> 00:01:15,814 I have perfect ears! 27 00:01:15,850 --> 00:01:18,066 I just hope they don't upstage your dad tonight. 28 00:01:27,062 --> 00:01:32,063 Synced and corrected by OussLP - www.addic7ed.com 29 00:01:39,039 --> 00:01:40,506 Ah! Thank God you're here! 30 00:01:40,541 --> 00:01:42,174 I was worried you'd been in an accident! 31 00:01:42,209 --> 00:01:45,544 Mom, why do you always do this? We're four minutes late. 32 00:01:45,546 --> 00:01:46,712 Whew! 33 00:01:46,714 --> 00:01:48,714 Ah! Whoa! 34 00:01:48,766 --> 00:01:50,883 I'm just relieved everyone's okay. 35 00:01:50,935 --> 00:01:53,385 - Wow, that dress is incredible, Jan! - Oh. 36 00:01:53,437 --> 00:01:54,720 Thank you. Thank you. 37 00:01:54,722 --> 00:01:55,854 - I bought it for the ceremony. - Hmm. 38 00:01:55,890 --> 00:01:57,139 I mean, do you think Rita Wilson 39 00:01:57,191 --> 00:01:58,524 Just dug some old thing out of her closet 40 00:01:58,559 --> 00:01:59,691 All those times Tom Hanks won? 41 00:01:59,727 --> 00:02:00,809 I'm gonna go with no. 42 00:02:00,861 --> 00:02:02,477 Hmm. 43 00:02:02,530 --> 00:02:03,779 And if you like it, 44 00:02:03,814 --> 00:02:05,447 You should see what I'm wearing underneath. 45 00:02:05,482 --> 00:02:07,399 Mom, please. 46 00:02:07,451 --> 00:02:08,567 Nothing. 47 00:02:12,072 --> 00:02:14,907 Hey, you guys look great. 48 00:02:14,959 --> 00:02:16,408 Dad, why are you whispering? 49 00:02:16,460 --> 00:02:18,744 Saving my voice for my speech. 50 00:02:18,746 --> 00:02:20,579 Here you go... little more tea, honey. 51 00:02:20,631 --> 00:02:22,214 Thank you, Jan. 52 00:02:22,249 --> 00:02:25,634 Got to keep those vocal cords lubricated. 53 00:02:25,669 --> 00:02:28,136 And for your nervous stomach, honey, a little toast. 54 00:02:28,172 --> 00:02:30,005 Toast?! I can't have any goddamn toast! 55 00:02:30,057 --> 00:02:32,591 I got to keep it wet in here. 56 00:02:33,727 --> 00:02:36,094 I better finish getting ready. 57 00:02:37,601 --> 00:02:40,065 Man, he better win tonight. 58 00:02:40,100 --> 00:02:42,234 The last four ceremonies were rough. 59 00:02:42,269 --> 00:02:43,769 Yeah. 60 00:02:43,771 --> 00:02:45,010 This year, 61 00:02:45,130 --> 00:02:46,871 the Psychology-Department's award 62 00:02:46,991 --> 00:02:49,825 For outstanding educator goes to... 63 00:02:49,860 --> 00:02:51,827 Joan Millman. 64 00:02:56,033 --> 00:02:58,700 Charles Kringus. 65 00:03:03,591 --> 00:03:05,040 Gregory Scott. 66 00:03:09,213 --> 00:03:10,963 Michael Woodhouse! 67 00:03:12,883 --> 00:03:15,017 Are you kidding?! That clown?! 68 00:03:15,052 --> 00:03:17,603 This is bullshit! 69 00:03:17,638 --> 00:03:18,770 - That's my goddamn award! - Watch it! Whoa! 70 00:03:18,806 --> 00:03:20,138 Come on! Let me go! 71 00:03:20,140 --> 00:03:22,140 Okay, okay. Okay. 72 00:03:23,861 --> 00:03:25,193 God damn it! Oh! 73 00:03:25,229 --> 00:03:28,730 I mean, making him pay for the broken chair 74 00:03:28,782 --> 00:03:30,816 Was insult to injury. 75 00:03:30,818 --> 00:03:33,485 Jan... 76 00:03:33,537 --> 00:03:35,737 More tea. 77 00:03:35,789 --> 00:03:37,990 Now, guys, remember, we have to leave in 20 minutes. 78 00:03:38,042 --> 00:03:42,244 Hey, Shawni, what's up? Everything all right? 79 00:03:42,296 --> 00:03:43,745 - It's nothing. - Okay. 80 00:03:43,797 --> 00:03:45,080 Well, of course it's something. 81 00:03:45,132 --> 00:03:46,832 Get back here. 82 00:03:46,834 --> 00:03:49,167 All right, you know how Enzo and I 83 00:03:49,169 --> 00:03:50,836 Had our one-year anniversary last night? 84 00:03:50,888 --> 00:03:52,220 - Yeah. - Okay. 85 00:03:52,256 --> 00:03:53,922 So I assumed that he was finally gonna propose 86 00:03:53,974 --> 00:03:55,173 Or, at the very least, 87 00:03:55,225 --> 00:03:56,842 Say that we should move in together. 88 00:03:56,844 --> 00:03:58,810 But instead, he took me bowling 89 00:03:58,846 --> 00:04:01,730 And gave me a shitty heart necklace from the mall. 90 00:04:01,765 --> 00:04:04,900 But I was just so sure he was gonna do something 91 00:04:04,935 --> 00:04:07,602 That, when the waitress brought out the fried mozzarella sticks, 92 00:04:07,655 --> 00:04:08,937 I assumed there was a ring 93 00:04:08,989 --> 00:04:11,657 Or a symbolic house key hidden in there, 94 00:04:11,692 --> 00:04:15,861 So I burnt my fingers digging through the basket. 95 00:04:15,863 --> 00:04:18,196 Wait. You would have been happy 96 00:04:18,198 --> 00:04:20,198 If he'd asked you to marry him that way... 97 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:24,836 Drunk, bowling, fried cheese? 98 00:04:24,872 --> 00:04:26,955 It's a ring around a mozzarella stick. 99 00:04:27,007 --> 00:04:30,592 I think it's pretty freaking romantic. 100 00:04:30,627 --> 00:04:32,928 - Well, I'm sorry, Shawni. - I know. 101 00:04:32,963 --> 00:04:35,297 I just wish I knew what we were doing, you know? 102 00:04:35,349 --> 00:04:37,299 Hey, Kelli. 103 00:04:37,351 --> 00:04:41,186 Hey, baby. Why aren't you dressed? 104 00:04:41,221 --> 00:04:42,721 I'll get dressed in a minute. 105 00:04:42,723 --> 00:04:45,974 Oh. Mm. 106 00:04:46,026 --> 00:04:48,060 Such a tease. I love it! 107 00:04:49,229 --> 00:04:52,364 Wow! Enzo! Looking dapper, buddy. 108 00:04:52,399 --> 00:04:55,901 Back at you, Oliver. Why don't you give me a spin? 109 00:04:57,654 --> 00:04:59,287 A what? 110 00:04:59,323 --> 00:05:01,156 Spin, Oliver. Spin. 111 00:05:02,326 --> 00:05:03,992 Let me see all of you. 112 00:05:10,751 --> 00:05:12,084 Beautiful. 113 00:05:12,086 --> 00:05:13,719 Did Shawni tell you 114 00:05:13,754 --> 00:05:15,170 All about our amazing anniversary last night? 115 00:05:15,222 --> 00:05:16,888 Uh, no, she didn't. 116 00:05:16,924 --> 00:05:19,046 Ah, she was so happy, after I gave her her gift... 117 00:05:19,166 --> 00:05:21,796 An expensive heart necklace from Eddie's jewelry 'n stuff... 118 00:05:21,916 --> 00:05:25,680 She cried... For much longer than you would think is normal. 119 00:05:27,184 --> 00:05:30,068 I think the honey in the tea has sufficiently calmed my throat, 120 00:05:30,104 --> 00:05:32,938 So I can give you all a little taste of my acceptance speech. 121 00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:33,872 Oh, good! 122 00:05:33,992 --> 00:05:37,659 This will give me a chance to practice my reactions. 123 00:05:37,694 --> 00:05:38,417 "First of all, 124 00:05:38,537 --> 00:05:40,662 I want to congratulate all my fellow nominees." 125 00:05:40,697 --> 00:05:43,248 Aww. 126 00:05:43,283 --> 00:05:45,083 Honey, please, you can practice later. 127 00:05:45,119 --> 00:05:46,284 Right now, this is about me. 128 00:05:47,788 --> 00:05:49,788 Just to be clear... the whole evening is. 129 00:05:51,041 --> 00:05:53,125 "Congratulations to my fellow nominees, 130 00:05:53,127 --> 00:05:55,093 "who have all, almost unbelievably, 131 00:05:55,129 --> 00:05:56,962 Won this award before me." 132 00:05:58,265 --> 00:05:59,681 "Joan had a great year, 133 00:05:59,716 --> 00:06:01,183 "despite the lawsuit from a student. 134 00:06:01,218 --> 00:06:03,852 But turns out he was 18, so she dodged a bullet there." 135 00:06:05,105 --> 00:06:07,105 "Michael Woodhouse, who won last year, 136 00:06:07,141 --> 00:06:09,641 "even though he hasn't published in a decade... 137 00:06:09,693 --> 00:06:11,860 Money must have changed hands there." 138 00:06:13,397 --> 00:06:15,030 "just kidding. L.O.L." 139 00:06:16,283 --> 00:06:17,816 Stuff about the other people... 140 00:06:17,868 --> 00:06:19,785 I call them "peers," but with finger quotes. 141 00:06:19,820 --> 00:06:22,954 Yada yada yada... the end. Great, huh? 142 00:06:22,990 --> 00:06:25,957 Do you think maybe you sound... 143 00:06:25,993 --> 00:06:28,243 I don't know... a bit... Bitter? 144 00:06:28,295 --> 00:06:29,795 Hmm. 145 00:06:29,830 --> 00:06:32,130 Bitter? Seriously? Is that what you got? 146 00:06:32,166 --> 00:06:33,832 Oliver, did you get that? 147 00:06:33,884 --> 00:06:37,836 Uh, maybe a tad. A touch. 148 00:06:37,888 --> 00:06:39,304 A lot. 149 00:06:40,924 --> 00:06:42,424 I think you just don't get my sense of humor, 150 00:06:42,544 --> 00:06:43,809 Like this joke here... 151 00:06:43,844 --> 00:06:46,178 "I'm better than all of you." 152 00:06:48,182 --> 00:06:49,931 Well, thank you so much for calling. 153 00:06:49,983 --> 00:06:51,900 I-I don't know what to say. I'm just in shock. 154 00:06:51,935 --> 00:06:55,020 Okay. Goodbye. 155 00:06:55,022 --> 00:06:56,354 Mom, what's wrong? 156 00:06:56,406 --> 00:06:57,906 That was my friend Brenda, 157 00:06:57,941 --> 00:06:59,274 Whose husband's on the board of the college. 158 00:06:59,326 --> 00:07:02,194 She just told me your dad's not gonna win tonight. 159 00:07:03,413 --> 00:07:05,113 Was that the florist? 160 00:07:05,165 --> 00:07:06,832 I ordered you a dozen roses... 161 00:07:07,868 --> 00:07:10,035 For you to hand me after I win. 162 00:07:13,482 --> 00:07:15,483 Dad's not gonna win?! 163 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,455 Why would they do that to him? 164 00:07:17,575 --> 00:07:19,691 Oh, honey, your dad is a great Professor, 165 00:07:19,693 --> 00:07:22,077 But he has made enemies among the faculty there, 166 00:07:22,112 --> 00:07:23,612 Mainly because of his 167 00:07:23,664 --> 00:07:25,781 "if it's in the fridge, it's fair game" policy. 168 00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:31,169 I can't watch him lose again. It'll break his heart. 169 00:07:31,205 --> 00:07:34,289 To lose again for the fifth time in front of all those people? 170 00:07:34,341 --> 00:07:36,541 We can't let him go to that ceremony. 171 00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:37,960 I agree. 172 00:07:38,012 --> 00:07:40,012 If he knows he's not winning, he won't go anyway. 173 00:07:40,047 --> 00:07:42,881 So the best plan here is you tell him he's not gonna win. 174 00:07:42,883 --> 00:07:45,133 Exactly! You tell him he's not gonna win. 175 00:07:45,185 --> 00:07:47,269 Wait. 176 00:07:47,304 --> 00:07:48,770 What? 177 00:07:48,806 --> 00:07:50,555 Why I am telling him? You're his wife. 178 00:07:50,608 --> 00:07:53,108 Oh, honey, you're his favorite daughter. 179 00:07:53,143 --> 00:07:56,111 Not if I tell him he didn't win! 180 00:07:56,146 --> 00:07:57,729 All right, since neither one of us 181 00:07:57,731 --> 00:07:59,231 Are willing to break the news to him, 182 00:07:59,283 --> 00:08:01,700 The least we can do is stop him from going to that ceremony. 183 00:08:01,735 --> 00:08:04,069 Then you can figure out how you're gonna tell him later. 184 00:08:05,072 --> 00:08:06,989 I mean, maybe it won't be as hard as we think. 185 00:08:07,041 --> 00:08:09,241 Which of these says winner? 186 00:08:09,243 --> 00:08:11,793 I'm thinking gold so I match the trophy. 187 00:08:19,219 --> 00:08:20,919 Oh. 188 00:08:20,921 --> 00:08:24,089 Hi, Dani. 189 00:08:24,091 --> 00:08:26,591 shh! Do you hear that? 190 00:08:26,644 --> 00:08:28,894 The house is here. 191 00:08:31,098 --> 00:08:34,933 Uh... Dani, what's going on? 192 00:08:34,985 --> 00:08:36,101 Whoa. 193 00:08:36,153 --> 00:08:39,354 Okay. 194 00:08:39,406 --> 00:08:42,741 So, you were obviously out all night. 195 00:08:42,776 --> 00:08:44,910 I was at this party with Blake. 196 00:08:44,945 --> 00:08:46,244 Hey! 197 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:49,164 He's your brother. 198 00:08:49,199 --> 00:08:51,166 He is, yeah. 199 00:08:51,201 --> 00:08:54,336 Hey! Is he as high as you are right now? 200 00:08:54,371 --> 00:08:57,339 No, he had to go home, 201 00:08:57,374 --> 00:09:01,009 But I stayed and had what I thought was candy. 202 00:09:01,045 --> 00:09:02,294 But guess what. 203 00:09:02,346 --> 00:09:05,630 It wasn't candy. It was from the moon. 204 00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:07,049 You're a little scary right now. 205 00:09:11,305 --> 00:09:13,972 Well, your ears are kind of weird. 206 00:09:17,978 --> 00:09:20,979 Okay. Now I know you're high. 207 00:09:26,070 --> 00:09:29,788 Hey, baby. We have a bit of a problem. 208 00:09:29,823 --> 00:09:32,874 I know. Wait. You have a problem? 209 00:09:32,910 --> 00:09:35,160 Yeah, you have one, too? 210 00:09:35,162 --> 00:09:37,662 Dad's not getting the award. 211 00:09:37,715 --> 00:09:39,131 What? 212 00:09:39,166 --> 00:09:40,415 He deserves that award so much. 213 00:09:40,467 --> 00:09:42,000 I thought he was getting it for sure. 214 00:09:42,002 --> 00:09:43,335 Me too. But apparently, 215 00:09:43,387 --> 00:09:45,003 He eats other people's food in the faculty lounge. 216 00:09:46,090 --> 00:09:48,140 We can't let him go to that ceremony, 217 00:09:48,175 --> 00:09:50,726 So if you could tell dad he's not gonna win... 218 00:09:50,761 --> 00:09:52,677 What? I'm telling him? 219 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:53,929 You want to tell him? 220 00:09:53,981 --> 00:09:56,098 I was going to, but that's a great idea. 221 00:09:56,150 --> 00:09:57,816 I'm fine with that. 222 00:09:57,851 --> 00:10:00,018 Maybe Gil pulls a Marlon Brando! 223 00:10:00,020 --> 00:10:03,071 What? Dad gets fat and dies? 224 00:10:03,107 --> 00:10:05,690 No, marlon Brando didn't show up to the oscars one time 225 00:10:05,743 --> 00:10:08,160 Because he was making some kind of political statement. 226 00:10:08,195 --> 00:10:10,862 That might work! Dad loves making statements! 227 00:10:10,864 --> 00:10:12,364 He boycotted the movie "Frozen" 228 00:10:12,416 --> 00:10:14,950 Because it wasn't about global warming. 229 00:10:15,002 --> 00:10:17,953 Okay, so I'm gonna look up exactly what Brando did. 230 00:10:18,005 --> 00:10:19,371 Maybe I can convince Gil. 231 00:10:19,423 --> 00:10:21,923 Okay. 232 00:10:21,959 --> 00:10:23,792 Wait. What was your problem? 233 00:10:23,844 --> 00:10:25,794 Oh, Dani took some crazy drug, 234 00:10:25,846 --> 00:10:28,096 And she's so high she thinks my ears look weird. 235 00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:33,051 So it's obviously pretty serious. 236 00:10:33,103 --> 00:10:35,020 Okay, she did this once before. 237 00:10:35,055 --> 00:10:37,105 I hope she doesn't do anything crazy. 238 00:10:37,141 --> 00:10:38,774 Last time, she called 911 239 00:10:38,809 --> 00:10:42,444 To report that fairies had taken over the pantry. 240 00:10:42,479 --> 00:10:44,312 But they hadn't, right? 241 00:10:45,399 --> 00:10:47,232 Hey, Dani. 242 00:10:47,284 --> 00:10:49,151 So, did Shawni show you her new necklace? 243 00:10:49,203 --> 00:10:53,955 Sometimes. I can't remember. 244 00:10:53,991 --> 00:10:55,957 Well, if you saw it, you wouldn't forget, believe me. 245 00:10:55,993 --> 00:10:58,293 It was shaped like a heart. 246 00:10:58,328 --> 00:11:01,079 Do you ever think sometimes there's another level 247 00:11:01,131 --> 00:11:03,331 Where stuff happens we don't know about? 248 00:11:03,383 --> 00:11:05,000 You mean like in a relationship? 249 00:11:05,052 --> 00:11:06,802 Yes, I have been thinking about that, 250 00:11:06,837 --> 00:11:08,920 About Shawni and I taking it to the next level. 251 00:11:08,972 --> 00:11:13,141 How will you even get it there?! 252 00:11:13,177 --> 00:11:14,843 Well, I've been thinking about asking Shawni 253 00:11:14,895 --> 00:11:16,511 If she and Dougie want to move in with me, 254 00:11:16,563 --> 00:11:18,230 But I'm worried that she's not ready, 255 00:11:18,265 --> 00:11:20,565 That she'd say no and break my heart... 256 00:11:22,319 --> 00:11:23,902 Something that can't happen 257 00:11:23,937 --> 00:11:25,437 With the necklace that I gave her 258 00:11:25,439 --> 00:11:27,856 Because Eddie's jewelry is guaranteed unbreakable. 259 00:11:27,908 --> 00:11:31,193 Ready? Everyone's ready. 260 00:11:31,245 --> 00:11:34,279 Guaranteed. 261 00:11:34,331 --> 00:11:36,448 Wait. You know she's ready? 262 00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:38,283 If I ask her, she'll say yes? 263 00:11:38,335 --> 00:11:41,036 Yes-s-s. 264 00:11:41,088 --> 00:11:43,338 Really? Then I'll do it. 265 00:11:43,373 --> 00:11:45,340 I'm going to my car to get my spare key to give to her. 266 00:11:45,375 --> 00:11:46,875 Thank you! 267 00:11:46,927 --> 00:11:51,129 Hey, can I borrow your beard sometimes? 268 00:11:52,466 --> 00:11:55,433 Looking good, Gil! 269 00:11:55,469 --> 00:11:57,219 Like a band leader or something! 270 00:11:57,271 --> 00:11:59,387 Thank you. 271 00:11:59,439 --> 00:12:01,890 High praise, son, high praise. 272 00:12:03,110 --> 00:12:04,809 Whoa! 273 00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:07,946 I love you, gold man! 274 00:12:10,534 --> 00:12:12,150 I went with the gold. 275 00:12:12,152 --> 00:12:14,152 It says, "suck it, loser," more than the white. 276 00:12:14,154 --> 00:12:17,322 Hey, want to hear the best idea ever? 277 00:12:17,324 --> 00:12:18,823 Don't go. 278 00:12:18,876 --> 00:12:23,211 Oh, I love that idea So smart and great. 279 00:12:23,247 --> 00:12:25,330 don't go? What are you talking about? 280 00:12:25,332 --> 00:12:27,499 Well, a-a-as a protest, like Marlon Brando did. 281 00:12:27,501 --> 00:12:29,334 Oh, man, that would really show them 282 00:12:29,336 --> 00:12:31,052 For snubbing you all these years. 283 00:12:31,088 --> 00:12:33,054 You have to do that! 284 00:12:33,090 --> 00:12:34,172 Don't go? That's nuts. 285 00:12:34,224 --> 00:12:36,007 Do you think civil-rights hero 286 00:12:36,009 --> 00:12:39,177 And my African-American doppelganger Martin Luther King 287 00:12:39,179 --> 00:12:41,513 Told his people, "don't march on Washington... 288 00:12:41,515 --> 00:12:45,317 That'll show them"? No way. 289 00:12:45,352 --> 00:12:47,402 You know, but that... that's different, Gil. We're talking about... 290 00:12:47,437 --> 00:12:49,070 No, there's nothing that could keep me from going 291 00:12:49,106 --> 00:12:51,156 And accepting that award tonight. 292 00:12:51,191 --> 00:12:53,525 Now I got to go drink a lot of water so I can piss on everyone. 293 00:12:57,197 --> 00:13:02,334 Wow! Gil, that is really gold. 294 00:13:02,369 --> 00:13:05,036 Enzo thinks I look like a band leader. 295 00:13:11,428 --> 00:13:13,378 Obviously, the Brando thing didn't work. 296 00:13:13,430 --> 00:13:15,547 W-what... what else can we do to stop him? 297 00:13:15,599 --> 00:13:18,967 How about a loving family member just tells him the truth? 298 00:13:19,019 --> 00:13:20,352 How about this?! 299 00:13:20,387 --> 00:13:22,220 We tell him we have to go to the hospital 300 00:13:22,222 --> 00:13:25,190 Because Oliver is sick with appendicitis. 301 00:13:25,225 --> 00:13:28,643 Why am I the one getting appendicitis?! 302 00:13:28,695 --> 00:13:30,195 You're the most obvious choice, Oliver. 303 00:13:30,230 --> 00:13:31,529 You're always getting stuff like that. 304 00:13:31,565 --> 00:13:34,316 Remember dancer's hip? 305 00:13:34,368 --> 00:13:37,319 Okay, dancer's hip is a very serious condition, 306 00:13:37,371 --> 00:13:38,703 And you both know it! 307 00:13:40,324 --> 00:13:44,459 How are you? 308 00:13:44,494 --> 00:13:48,246 You're a good boy, aren't you? 309 00:13:48,298 --> 00:13:51,466 I love Enzo, but it's like, what are we doing, you know? 310 00:13:51,501 --> 00:13:54,219 I mean, we've been together over a year now, 311 00:13:54,254 --> 00:13:55,503 And we're just dating? 312 00:13:55,555 --> 00:13:58,006 I'm not in my 20s anymore, and I got a kid. 313 00:13:58,058 --> 00:14:02,260 A year is such a long time. 314 00:14:02,262 --> 00:14:03,928 It is a long time. 315 00:14:03,981 --> 00:14:06,314 So what am I supposed to do, dump him? 316 00:14:06,350 --> 00:14:09,567 I mean, if he's not gonna make a move, I have to, right? 317 00:14:09,603 --> 00:14:12,103 Yes! 318 00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:13,438 You're right. 319 00:14:13,490 --> 00:14:15,523 I love him, but I can't keep wasting my time 320 00:14:15,575 --> 00:14:17,442 In a relationship that's going nowhere. 321 00:14:17,494 --> 00:14:21,446 These boobs are not getting any more awesome than this. 322 00:14:21,498 --> 00:14:23,448 Yeah, I got to break up with him. 323 00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:25,450 Thanks, Dani. 324 00:14:25,502 --> 00:14:29,120 Dani? 325 00:14:29,122 --> 00:14:31,456 It says the symptoms of appendicitis are 326 00:14:31,458 --> 00:14:34,125 "pain near the navel, a fever... " 327 00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:35,760 "and bloating and gas." 328 00:14:38,382 --> 00:14:41,049 Guys, I'm not doing it. I'm not pretending to be sick. 329 00:14:41,101 --> 00:14:42,183 It's insane! 330 00:14:42,219 --> 00:14:43,351 He's right, mom. 331 00:14:43,387 --> 00:14:46,471 Well, you can't just do the gas part? 332 00:14:46,473 --> 00:14:49,057 All right, all right, I know it's crazy, 333 00:14:49,109 --> 00:14:50,608 But what else can we do? 334 00:14:50,644 --> 00:14:52,560 Is everybody ready to see Gil Durnin 335 00:14:52,612 --> 00:14:54,062 Finally get his name called 336 00:14:54,114 --> 00:14:56,031 As outstanding educator of the year? 337 00:14:56,066 --> 00:14:58,483 Oliver's sick! We have to take him to hospital! 338 00:14:58,485 --> 00:15:00,402 What? 339 00:15:00,454 --> 00:15:02,526 - I'm not sick. - He's in shock. 340 00:15:02,646 --> 00:15:03,321 He doesn't even know what he's saying. 341 00:15:03,373 --> 00:15:04,656 Mom. 342 00:15:04,708 --> 00:15:06,408 Whoa. What's going on? 343 00:15:06,460 --> 00:15:08,209 Why are you trying to get out of going to the ceremony? 344 00:15:08,245 --> 00:15:10,328 I mean, I get it It's boring, 345 00:15:10,380 --> 00:15:11,496 And you're not gonna win anything 346 00:15:11,548 --> 00:15:13,048 At the end of the evening. 347 00:15:13,083 --> 00:15:14,332 And you're not getting any roses. 348 00:15:15,802 --> 00:15:17,585 Why don't you just go and support me? 349 00:15:17,637 --> 00:15:19,504 Of course we will, Gil. It's j... 350 00:15:19,556 --> 00:15:22,006 I'm going. You can either come with me or not. 351 00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:24,142 But I'm gonna go and meet my golden twin. 352 00:15:26,396 --> 00:15:28,396 Now I feel horrible. 353 00:15:28,432 --> 00:15:30,765 - I know. - So do I. 354 00:15:30,817 --> 00:15:32,233 Oh, sure, you feel bad now, 355 00:15:32,269 --> 00:15:34,069 But when I asked you to feel bad, nada! 356 00:15:35,439 --> 00:15:37,772 Where's your father? 357 00:15:37,824 --> 00:15:39,407 Gone. 358 00:15:39,443 --> 00:15:43,027 Gone... Like he left? 359 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:48,249 He said, "God damn it," got in his thing, and... vroom. 360 00:15:48,285 --> 00:15:50,418 What? Dad left? 361 00:15:50,454 --> 00:15:52,787 Aw! He went without us? Shit! 362 00:15:52,839 --> 00:15:57,675 And all because someone wouldn't pretend to have appendicitis. 363 00:16:02,107 --> 00:16:03,773 Yep. He's definitely gone. 364 00:16:03,775 --> 00:16:05,074 He's not answering his phone. 365 00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:07,493 - What's going on? - Dad's not winning the award. 366 00:16:07,529 --> 00:16:09,579 We tried to stop him, but he went anyway. 367 00:16:09,614 --> 00:16:10,947 Okay, girls, we have to go now. 368 00:16:10,949 --> 00:16:12,615 He at least has to have his family there with him. 369 00:16:13,919 --> 00:16:15,418 Hey, guys? 370 00:16:15,453 --> 00:16:16,209 Oh, thank God. 371 00:16:16,329 --> 00:16:19,789 I almost forgot the flowers Gil sent me to give to him. 372 00:16:19,791 --> 00:16:22,375 Yeah, the delivery guy came to the back door. 373 00:16:22,427 --> 00:16:24,544 Gil also filled out the card for you. 374 00:16:24,596 --> 00:16:27,430 "Gil, I'm so proud of you. 375 00:16:27,465 --> 00:16:29,465 You looked so good up on that stage tonight." 376 00:16:30,602 --> 00:16:32,769 "I could tell all of the women wanted to be with you." 377 00:16:34,940 --> 00:16:36,973 "love, Jan." 378 00:16:36,975 --> 00:16:39,976 That's exactly what I would have written. 379 00:16:39,978 --> 00:16:43,563 Come on. 380 00:16:46,034 --> 00:16:47,984 I think we need to talk. 381 00:16:48,036 --> 00:16:50,536 Yes, we should. I have something important to say. 382 00:16:50,572 --> 00:16:52,872 Yeah, okay, but I should probably go first. 383 00:16:52,908 --> 00:16:55,875 What we've had has been great. 384 00:16:55,911 --> 00:16:57,794 But I think we need to break up. 385 00:16:57,829 --> 00:16:59,128 What? 386 00:16:59,164 --> 00:17:02,498 Look, I love you, but let's be honest... 387 00:17:02,500 --> 00:17:03,750 Was this ever really gonna work? 388 00:17:03,802 --> 00:17:05,718 I mean, you never wanted anything serious 389 00:17:05,754 --> 00:17:07,470 Because you're kind of an idiot. 390 00:17:08,974 --> 00:17:11,808 Not in a bad way, just in a young way. 391 00:17:11,843 --> 00:17:16,679 Anyway, I think it's time we ended this. 392 00:17:16,681 --> 00:17:18,181 Well, the thing I wanted to talk about was 393 00:17:18,183 --> 00:17:19,599 I wanted you to move in with me. 394 00:17:19,651 --> 00:17:22,485 You do?! Baby, that's all I wanted. 395 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:25,822 Oh, my God! This is great! This is awesome! 396 00:17:25,857 --> 00:17:28,157 Thank you. 397 00:17:28,193 --> 00:17:30,526 I was gonna give this to you in a more romantic way, 398 00:17:30,528 --> 00:17:32,946 Like maybe by the fountain in the mall, but... 399 00:17:32,998 --> 00:17:34,864 A symbolic house key. 400 00:17:34,916 --> 00:17:38,034 So wait. I'm an idiot? 401 00:17:38,086 --> 00:17:39,786 No, no, no, no. Oh, forget all about 402 00:17:39,838 --> 00:17:41,838 The "idiot, never gonna work, too young" stuff. 403 00:17:41,873 --> 00:17:43,589 I-I only said that 'cause I thought 404 00:17:43,625 --> 00:17:45,708 You didn't want to take this to the next level. 405 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:49,595 Oh. You were lashing out and didn't mean what you said. 406 00:17:49,631 --> 00:17:51,881 I learned about that from Gil after he called me a moron. 407 00:17:53,518 --> 00:17:56,198 oh, good. We made it. 408 00:17:56,318 --> 00:17:57,603 They haven't given out the awards yet. 409 00:17:57,639 --> 00:17:59,722 Look, you guys! It's dad! 410 00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,891 Oh. We know, honey. 411 00:18:01,943 --> 00:18:05,061 Don't you worry. You're gonna come down soon. 412 00:18:07,615 --> 00:18:09,532 We're moving in together. 413 00:18:09,567 --> 00:18:12,068 What?! Oh, you're moving into Enzo's house? 414 00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:14,620 No, we decided he's moving into the basement with me and Dougie. 415 00:18:14,656 --> 00:18:16,122 Aah! That's great news! 416 00:18:16,157 --> 00:18:18,124 And don't worry, Jan. We'll keep our lovemaking quiet. 417 00:18:18,159 --> 00:18:19,659 Oh. 418 00:18:19,711 --> 00:18:22,829 And now the final award... 419 00:18:22,881 --> 00:18:24,998 Oh, God. I can't watch. 420 00:18:25,050 --> 00:18:27,166 It's gonna be okay, Jan. I promise. 421 00:18:27,218 --> 00:18:32,805 The award for outstanding educator goes to... 422 00:18:34,175 --> 00:18:35,675 Gil Durnin. 423 00:18:35,727 --> 00:18:37,143 What?! 424 00:18:37,178 --> 00:18:38,845 Oh, my God! Oh! 425 00:18:38,897 --> 00:18:41,230 Whoo-hoo-hoo! He did it! Yay! 426 00:18:41,266 --> 00:18:43,683 I can't believe it. Brenda was wrong. 427 00:18:43,735 --> 00:18:45,852 Wait. His really mean speech. 428 00:18:45,904 --> 00:18:46,853 Oh, no. 429 00:18:46,905 --> 00:18:48,104 Thank you, Dean Roberts. 430 00:18:51,609 --> 00:18:54,110 oh, boy. Thank you all. 431 00:18:55,663 --> 00:18:58,664 Can I have a tissue, please? 432 00:18:58,700 --> 00:19:00,249 I love all of you so much. 433 00:19:00,285 --> 00:19:02,702 - He's being so sweet. - Aww! 434 00:19:02,754 --> 00:19:03,986 I love my family. 435 00:19:04,022 --> 00:19:05,254 Oh, hell. 436 00:19:05,290 --> 00:19:07,540 I love everyone in this auditorium. 437 00:19:08,676 --> 00:19:10,510 Can I have a tissue, please? 438 00:19:10,545 --> 00:19:12,795 I love Greg and Charles. 439 00:19:12,847 --> 00:19:15,681 And, Joan, I love you. 440 00:19:15,717 --> 00:19:17,683 And I'm sorry I keep stealing your yogurt. 441 00:19:19,554 --> 00:19:20,770 It's that kind of love... 442 00:19:20,805 --> 00:19:22,105 can one of you morons 443 00:19:22,140 --> 00:19:25,191 Get me a goddamn tissue, for Christ's sake?! 444 00:19:26,978 --> 00:19:29,145 And he's back. 445 00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:36,574 Dad was so happy. 446 00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:39,110 Yeah, he should be. He deserved that award. 447 00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:40,478 He did. 448 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:44,014 Hey, at the ceremony, why did you tell my mom, 449 00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:47,618 "it's gonna be okay. I promise"? 450 00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:50,454 I said that? 451 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:53,057 You did. 452 00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:54,225 Yeah, okay. 453 00:19:54,260 --> 00:19:58,229 I, uh... I did something. 454 00:19:58,264 --> 00:20:01,098 Hey, pop, is your law partner 455 00:20:01,134 --> 00:20:03,234 Still on the board of puget sound college? 456 00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:05,536 Don Bovington. Yeah. I think so. Why? What's up? 457 00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:08,572 I need a favor. 458 00:20:08,608 --> 00:20:10,861 Can you call him and tell him to make sure Gil Durnin wins 459 00:20:10,981 --> 00:20:13,144 The Psychology-Department award tonight? 460 00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:15,646 On the promise that you never tell him I'm involved, 461 00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:18,682 Because that would hurt his pride, of course I will. 462 00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:22,103 Ah! 10. Got him. 463 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:28,526 You did that? Really? Why? 464 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:31,562 - 'Cause he's your dad. He deserved it. - Oh. 465 00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:33,564 And I don't like how they shit on him at that place. 466 00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:36,100 And he's family. 467 00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:38,402 Nothing's more important than that. 468 00:20:38,437 --> 00:20:40,271 Aww! 469 00:20:40,306 --> 00:20:42,973 You are my hero. 470 00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:45,142 Oh. 471 00:20:45,178 --> 00:20:47,011 I'm gonna pay you back for this tonight 472 00:20:47,046 --> 00:20:50,548 In ways that are gonna blow your mind. 473 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,483 Yeah, that was the other reason. 474 00:20:54,071 --> 00:20:58,624 Synced and corrected by OussLP - www.addic7ed.com 33880

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