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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
2
00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:22,421
What the fuck, bro?
3
00:00:22,455 --> 00:00:25,090
You think you can just cut
me the fuck off back there?
4
00:00:25,124 --> 00:00:29,662
You fucking asshole! I'm
fucking talking to you!
5
00:00:29,695 --> 00:00:31,564
Hey! Look at me, motherfucker!
6
00:00:38,471 --> 00:00:39,539
What the fuck?
7
00:00:42,608 --> 00:00:44,309
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
8
00:00:44,343 --> 00:00:46,913
Wait, wait, wait. No, look, man.
9
00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:48,981
I'm real sorry, man.
Don't fucking do it.
10
00:00:49,015 --> 00:00:51,251
I didn't mean to...
11
00:00:59,892 --> 00:01:01,427
That's a cute car.
12
00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:04,297
Is that your mother's car? You
have a safe fucking trip, yeah?
13
00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:05,798
Hey, how far is Ocala?
14
00:01:05,831 --> 00:01:08,467
- Nine hours, Daddy.
- Let's go get that motherfucker, yeah?
15
00:01:08,501 --> 00:01:11,937
- Motherfucker!
- Motherfucker!
16
00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:20,513
Fuck!
17
00:01:36,395 --> 00:01:40,666
Okay, guys, let's go.
18
00:01:40,699 --> 00:01:42,602
Come on.
19
00:01:45,604 --> 00:01:48,574
Oh. No. You never eat at a
table with the little kids.
20
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,476
Kids do gross shit.
21
00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:53,679
They snot all over everything,
they touch their own assholes...
22
00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:55,215
It's fucking gross.
23
00:02:06,191 --> 00:02:08,093
I hate mushrooms.
24
00:02:08,127 --> 00:02:09,796
I'll eat your fuckin' mushrooms.
25
00:02:12,531 --> 00:02:14,000
You guys wanna see me down it?
26
00:02:14,033 --> 00:02:16,069
I'm hanging with a bunch of pussies.
27
00:02:16,102 --> 00:02:17,670
Okay.
28
00:02:17,703 --> 00:02:18,805
So cool.
29
00:02:25,911 --> 00:02:28,148
Holy shit! I need water!
30
00:02:29,182 --> 00:02:31,251
That's not so hard.
31
00:02:32,251 --> 00:02:35,455
Why did you do that? Oh, my God.
32
00:02:36,222 --> 00:02:38,291
Are you crying?
33
00:02:42,762 --> 00:02:44,631
I need to pee.
34
00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:47,833
I bet you do.
35
00:02:54,239 --> 00:02:55,942
Shit. Truancy raid!
36
00:02:57,043 --> 00:02:59,345
All right! Y'all know the drill.
37
00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:01,648
And no cussing on the way to the van.
38
00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:03,282
Huh? Let's go, girlie.
39
00:03:03,315 --> 00:03:04,650
Don't you fuckin' touch me.
40
00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:06,319
I don't even go to your stupid school.
41
00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:08,964
You keep that up, and I'm gonna
have to call your parents, all right?
42
00:03:08,988 --> 00:03:12,457
- You, check her bag for contraband.
- Hey, give it back!
43
00:03:12,491 --> 00:03:13,927
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop that!
44
00:03:15,828 --> 00:03:20,165
What the fuck! Put me down! I
don't go to his fucking school!
45
00:03:20,199 --> 00:03:22,535
Not so tough now, are you?
46
00:03:32,745 --> 00:03:34,313
Where's the girl?
47
00:03:34,346 --> 00:03:35,975
Uh, I don't know which girl you mean,
48
00:03:35,976 --> 00:03:38,651
but the truancy cops
just raided this bitch.
49
00:03:59,638 --> 00:04:00,773
Who are you?
50
00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:02,751
I mean, kneeing that narc
in the balls like that...
51
00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:05,277
Move over Cate Blanchett, I think
I found my new spirit animal.
52
00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:06,746
Please tell me you're new here.
53
00:04:06,779 --> 00:04:09,481
I'm just on vacation, or whatever.
54
00:04:09,515 --> 00:04:11,851
In Richmond Hill? Why?
55
00:04:11,884 --> 00:04:13,953
Because mind ya own
business, that's why.
56
00:04:13,986 --> 00:04:15,588
- Oh! She's sassy.
- Okay.
57
00:04:15,621 --> 00:04:17,823
Is there some sort of way
we can bust out of here?
58
00:04:17,856 --> 00:04:20,159
Like a fucking fire alarm
we can pull, or something?
59
00:04:20,192 --> 00:04:21,794
You're low-key hilarious.
60
00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:24,864
This is lunch detention, not prison.
Plus, don't you need your bag?
61
00:04:24,897 --> 00:04:26,599
They'll give it back to you later.
62
00:04:26,632 --> 00:04:27,943
But for now, we should
probably just chill
63
00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:30,169
- and wait to see what the snack is.
- Mmm-hmm.
64
00:04:30,202 --> 00:04:31,580
They feed you during detention here?
65
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:33,840
Don't worry, if it's bland, we got some
66
00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:36,975
Flamin' Cheetos stashed
over in Non-Fiction.
67
00:04:37,009 --> 00:04:39,879
So, you're hanging out with us
after school. That's a thing.
68
00:04:39,912 --> 00:04:40,947
Yep.
69
00:04:49,255 --> 00:04:52,191
Man! This hotel's is
on some four-star shit!
70
00:04:52,224 --> 00:04:53,626
I can use this fancy lotion, right?
71
00:04:53,659 --> 00:04:58,397
Take it. Take the soap. Take
everything. I don't care.
72
00:04:58,431 --> 00:05:00,532
Don't people mingle
and shit at conferences?
73
00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:02,034
Should you get down there?
74
00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:03,569
Not yet. I've got to get settled,
75
00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:05,704
gotta iron some shirts,
work on my speech...
76
00:05:05,738 --> 00:05:07,940
We could just bail and
get back to finding Wayne.
77
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,075
No. Can't.
78
00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:11,577
The Superintendent is gonna
be following up on how I do,
79
00:05:11,611 --> 00:05:14,012
since she knows there's a
chance to get some grant money.
80
00:05:14,046 --> 00:05:15,581
How much cash we talkin'?
81
00:05:15,615 --> 00:05:18,784
I don't know. Enough to buy some
computers and other computer things.
82
00:05:18,818 --> 00:05:21,587
But I can't do anything
with the room like this.
83
00:05:24,557 --> 00:05:28,895
Oh, shit. You haven't even
started on your speech yet.
84
00:05:28,928 --> 00:05:31,206
What? Yes, I have. You don't...
What are you talking about?
85
00:05:31,230 --> 00:05:32,664
You're procrastinating.
86
00:05:32,698 --> 00:05:34,734
I do the same thing when
I have a big paper due.
87
00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:37,703
I'll clean my room, pick up those
tiny fuzz balls off my sweaters...
88
00:05:37,736 --> 00:05:40,873
I wrote it, okay?
Basically. It's all up here.
89
00:05:40,906 --> 00:05:43,676
Why don't you go relax
by the pool, downstairs?
90
00:05:43,709 --> 00:05:45,177
Because what's the point, okay?
91
00:05:45,210 --> 00:05:47,880
It doesn't even matter what I
say. We're never gonna get a grant.
92
00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:49,214
And even if we did,
93
00:05:49,247 --> 00:05:51,226
you know what those kids are gonna
do with the technology it buys?
94
00:05:51,250 --> 00:05:52,651
They're immediately gonna break it,
95
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:54,520
steal it, or pour
chocolate milk into it.
96
00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:55,755
So, what's the point?
97
00:05:55,788 --> 00:05:57,666
You know they have a sauna
down there, too, right?
98
00:05:57,690 --> 00:06:00,993
Maybe you're right. We
should brainstorm some ideas.
99
00:06:01,026 --> 00:06:02,294
What have you got?
100
00:06:04,029 --> 00:06:07,032
Dude, could you just go downstairs,
so I can watch my porn movies?
101
00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:08,568
Please get dressed.
102
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:16,542
Hold up. How long are you in town for?
103
00:06:17,443 --> 00:06:19,078
Are you doing anything tonight?
104
00:06:19,111 --> 00:06:20,703
Oh, fuck yeah, dude. Good call.
105
00:06:20,704 --> 00:06:22,381
Our super lame-ass
Spring Fling's tonight.
106
00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:24,159
Ugh! I'm not comin' to your
weird dance. I don't even go here.
107
00:06:24,183 --> 00:06:27,586
No, that doesn't matter. We can
bring whoever we want as dates.
108
00:06:27,619 --> 00:06:29,055
I am bringing this hot mess,
109
00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:32,691
but I'm thinking,
110
00:06:32,724 --> 00:06:36,194
we all go as a polyamorous
lezzy throuple, yeah?
111
00:06:36,228 --> 00:06:40,432
Can you imagine how hard
they'd shit their fucking pants?
112
00:06:40,465 --> 00:06:42,468
Look at how eeked out
this hoecake is already.
113
00:06:43,935 --> 00:06:44,937
See that?
114
00:06:44,970 --> 00:06:47,006
That's the international
sign for cunnilingus.
115
00:06:47,039 --> 00:06:48,400
Of course, you wouldn't know that
116
00:06:48,401 --> 00:06:49,984
because you're dating a
high school boy, right?
117
00:06:51,109 --> 00:06:55,280
How about you? You got
anyone? A guy? A girl?
118
00:06:55,314 --> 00:06:59,051
I don't know. I got a Wayne.
119
00:06:59,084 --> 00:07:00,285
What the fuck is "a Wayne"?
120
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,428
Holy shit!
121
00:07:12,431 --> 00:07:15,435
Hey!
122
00:07:31,183 --> 00:07:32,484
I guess that's a fuckin' Wayne.
123
00:07:38,824 --> 00:07:40,602
Is this the boy you had
a little kerfuffle with?
124
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:43,796
He means the dangerous criminal
who nail-gunned your hands to a van.
125
00:07:43,829 --> 00:07:45,998
Listen, when I talked to the other cops,
126
00:07:46,031 --> 00:07:49,202
the guys who wore actual uniforms,
I told them everything I knew.
127
00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:50,595
Excuse me.
128
00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:56,843
Uh...
129
00:07:59,444 --> 00:08:02,250
So, I'm assuming the
hiring circumstances
130
00:08:02,251 --> 00:08:03,351
were similar to these gentlemen's?
131
00:08:03,415 --> 00:08:05,384
I didn't find him on Linkedln,
if that's what you mean.
132
00:08:05,417 --> 00:08:06,786
Did you pay him?
133
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:09,956
Of course, I fuckin' paid him.
And this is what I get for it?
134
00:08:10,289 --> 00:08:11,523
Right.
135
00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:13,268
Well, that doesn't quite
add up now, does it?
136
00:08:13,292 --> 00:08:15,828
May I have my goddamn
phone back, please?
137
00:08:15,861 --> 00:08:18,530
Look, the kids are on the
road, okay? They need to eat.
138
00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:20,633
I know you want to think
he's some kind of angel,
139
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,200
but if Wayne got desperate,
140
00:08:22,234 --> 00:08:24,246
we're gonna have serious problems here.
141
00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:25,500
Welcome to the Fayetteville
142
00:08:25,501 --> 00:08:26,882
Immigration Detention Center.
143
00:08:26,906 --> 00:08:30,676
Our menu options have
changed. For English press 1.
144
00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:33,212
You know, I came across a
gentleman in Massachusetts,
145
00:08:33,245 --> 00:08:35,714
who had the darnedest scheme.
146
00:08:35,748 --> 00:08:38,618
He'd hire workers with
questionable citizenship status,
147
00:08:38,651 --> 00:08:41,454
and at the end of the day,
instead of paying them,
148
00:08:41,487 --> 00:08:43,789
he'd turn them in to Immigration.
149
00:08:43,822 --> 00:08:45,291
Now, I hate to be rude,
150
00:08:45,324 --> 00:08:48,728
so, allow me to translate for
our Spanish-speaking friends...
151
00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:06,212
I'm takin' you're not much
of a school-type, are ya?
152
00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:09,015
People didn't like me much.
153
00:09:10,482 --> 00:09:12,051
And I didn't like them much back.
154
00:09:12,084 --> 00:09:13,786
Me, neither.
155
00:09:13,819 --> 00:09:15,154
I dunno.
156
00:09:15,187 --> 00:09:17,856
Schools are always gonna
be filled with boneheads.
157
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:21,861
So's my house. At least, at
school, I got a decent lunch.
158
00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:28,200
I was actually good at it, you
know. I had a best friend...
159
00:09:32,237 --> 00:09:35,107
- I liked that pink soap.
- What?
160
00:09:35,140 --> 00:09:40,112
The soap in the bathrooms. Smells clean.
161
00:09:40,145 --> 00:09:43,716
You got a weird thing with smells, man.
162
00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:45,717
You ever even read a book before?
163
00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:49,288
- Comics count?
- Jesus.
164
00:09:49,321 --> 00:09:50,489
I read a book before.
165
00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:53,058
- Yeah? What was it called?
- I don't remember.
166
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:57,096
- What was it about?
- Werewolves.
167
00:09:57,129 --> 00:09:58,597
Figures.
168
00:09:58,630 --> 00:10:00,599
There was also a lady
who was part tarantula.
169
00:10:00,632 --> 00:10:04,336
Yeah, of course there was.
170
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:08,007
I don't know, maybe it was
just our school that was shit.
171
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:11,377
Maybe if we went someplace like
this place, it would be different.
172
00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:15,180
Dude, that was the tits.
173
00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:18,583
Mrs. Prince totally thought
174
00:10:18,617 --> 00:10:20,820
that your motorcycle was
like a small earthquake.
175
00:10:20,853 --> 00:10:22,721
She's like, "This is
what your drills are for!
176
00:10:22,755 --> 00:10:25,124
Remember your training!"
177
00:10:26,258 --> 00:10:27,493
Trish and Jenny.
178
00:10:27,526 --> 00:10:29,128
- What's up?
- What's up?
179
00:10:29,561 --> 00:10:30,696
Um...
180
00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:35,067
- Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
181
00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:39,037
Okay.
182
00:10:39,071 --> 00:10:42,508
So, you are coming to
Spring Fling with us.
183
00:10:42,541 --> 00:10:43,943
Oh, yeah, 100%.
184
00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:45,887
And we may need to make
an entrance on your bike.
185
00:10:45,911 --> 00:10:49,081
Oh, my God! We should release
doves if we can find them.
186
00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:50,649
Like a stupid dance?
187
00:10:50,682 --> 00:10:53,953
With people dancing
to, like, stupid music?
188
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:55,688
Um, exactly.
189
00:10:55,721 --> 00:10:58,290
But just for shits 'n gigs. To
rip on people, like, ironically.
190
00:10:58,323 --> 00:11:02,361
Talk shit on all the
jocks tryin' get it in.
191
00:11:02,394 --> 00:11:05,497
Don't ya need good clothes
to get into a stupid dance?
192
00:11:05,530 --> 00:11:07,265
You know what? Actually, it's cool.
193
00:11:07,299 --> 00:11:09,234
My dad's girlfriend...
Uh, we can go to my place.
194
00:11:09,267 --> 00:11:12,413
She has all these psycho-slut
dresses that we can try on!
195
00:11:12,414 --> 00:11:15,508
Oh, my God, and we can
pre-game. Like hard.
196
00:11:15,541 --> 00:11:16,609
We're gonna pre-game.
197
00:11:16,642 --> 00:11:18,577
I don't know. Maybe it'll be fun?
198
00:11:18,610 --> 00:11:20,021
But nothing they said sounds like it.
199
00:11:20,045 --> 00:11:25,617
No, no, no. We voted. Um, seven
to three. You're going now.
200
00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:27,920
- See ya.
- See ya later, ladies.
201
00:11:27,953 --> 00:11:29,989
Maybe they'll have
that pink soap you like.
202
00:11:35,894 --> 00:11:38,396
- Give me one of your peppers...
- Go fuck yourself. Back off!
203
00:11:38,430 --> 00:11:41,132
For the love of Christ, will
the two of you shut the fuck up?
204
00:11:41,166 --> 00:11:43,769
Tryin' to see if these jag-offs
called about that demo job.
205
00:11:45,103 --> 00:11:46,906
Would you fuck off
with your sticky mitts!
206
00:11:46,939 --> 00:11:49,474
Fucking machine, man. It's a
piece of shit. It won't work.
207
00:11:49,508 --> 00:11:52,511
- You hit seven?
- Hit seven, then the access number.
208
00:11:52,544 --> 00:11:54,246
What's the access number?
209
00:11:54,279 --> 00:11:56,782
- Carl, access number?
- I don't know.
210
00:11:56,815 --> 00:11:58,284
Oh, try Del's birthday.
211
00:12:00,585 --> 00:12:03,355
- July 20th.
- Twentieth. Right.
212
00:12:04,656 --> 00:12:06,392
Ha! Working.
213
00:12:06,425 --> 00:12:10,662
Hi, Mr. or Mrs. Luccetti?
Am I saying that right?
214
00:12:10,695 --> 00:12:13,008
This is Vice Principal
Walsh from Alabaster High.
215
00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:14,242
Give me some of your coleslaw...
216
00:12:14,266 --> 00:12:16,134
Your daughter got detention...
217
00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:18,837
She didn't have her student
ID and our system's down,
218
00:12:18,870 --> 00:12:20,839
but we found your number in her bag.
219
00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:24,143
So, if you could come on in, help
sort this out, that'll be great.
220
00:12:24,176 --> 00:12:25,177
Unbelievable.
221
00:12:25,210 --> 00:12:26,588
I want some more sweet tea.
222
00:12:26,612 --> 00:12:28,056
- Shut the fuck up.
- Not before you clean your ear...
223
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:29,849
Don't you fucking touch me!
224
00:12:30,582 --> 00:12:32,951
- Fuck you, Carl.
- Fuck you!
225
00:12:32,985 --> 00:12:34,929
- Fuck you, motherfucker!
- Fuck you, motherfucker!
226
00:12:43,395 --> 00:12:46,465
Whoa. I love your room.
227
00:12:46,498 --> 00:12:50,502
My dad's tragic taste in
girlfriends did not disappoint...
228
00:12:50,535 --> 00:12:54,540
- Look at these.
- Fucking Bridgette.
229
00:12:54,573 --> 00:12:58,210
What, did your dad meet her in a
slutty mental hospital, or something?
230
00:12:58,243 --> 00:13:00,312
Is this fox dead?
231
00:13:00,345 --> 00:13:05,584
Yeah, I took those. Even roadkill
deserves to be remembered.
232
00:13:05,617 --> 00:13:07,386
That's wicked weird.
233
00:13:07,419 --> 00:13:09,088
Wait. "Wicked?"
234
00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:10,622
Like "wicked" like, witch wicked?
235
00:13:10,655 --> 00:13:13,058
What? No, wicked like, really.
236
00:13:13,091 --> 00:13:14,836
Like if you see some dudes
struttin' down a street,
237
00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:16,797
you're gonna be like,
"Look at that jabroni,
238
00:13:16,798 --> 00:13:17,798
thinks he's 'wicked' hard... "
239
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,931
- What?
- Jabroni?
240
00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:22,033
Oh, honey, bless your heart.
241
00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:23,669
Why does everyone keep saying that?
242
00:13:23,702 --> 00:13:27,772
I don't know, it's Southern
for, "I'm judging you."
243
00:13:27,806 --> 00:13:29,041
Oh, Jesus.
244
00:13:30,542 --> 00:13:32,744
Anyway, you should
totally sleep over tonight.
245
00:13:32,778 --> 00:13:35,047
And you should also come
to our school full-time.
246
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:38,384
Oh, my God! Yes! Dude, it
could be like this all the time.
247
00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:42,521
- Like The Three Wicked Bitches!
- Oh, my God.
248
00:13:42,554 --> 00:13:45,991
- So good.
- How do I look?
249
00:13:46,958 --> 00:13:48,928
I like you in your regular clothes.
250
00:13:50,862 --> 00:13:52,106
You need something, too, you know.
251
00:13:52,130 --> 00:13:54,433
Dude, got you, got you.
252
00:13:54,466 --> 00:13:59,405
Uh, yes. This is from
my dad's third wedding.
253
00:13:59,804 --> 00:14:01,173
Sheesh!
254
00:14:02,140 --> 00:14:03,775
I gotta go to the bathroom.
255
00:14:03,809 --> 00:14:05,810
Don't you like it? It's
got matching pants, too.
256
00:14:05,844 --> 00:14:07,146
I don't care.
257
00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:12,250
"And just like Middleweight
Champion Marvin Hagler,
258
00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:13,952
Hagler High can take a beating.
259
00:14:13,985 --> 00:14:18,724
That's why I believe we can be a
contender in the arena of education."
260
00:14:18,757 --> 00:14:20,191
Jesus.
261
00:14:20,225 --> 00:14:22,694
- Good Jesus, or bad Jesus?
- Bad Jesus.
262
00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:25,864
If you can't talk up Hagler to
a bunch of nerdy-ass principals
263
00:14:25,897 --> 00:14:27,432
who are balls deep into education,
264
00:14:27,465 --> 00:14:29,944
how do you expect to get through
to Wayne, a kid who hates school?
265
00:14:29,968 --> 00:14:31,103
What do you want me to do?
266
00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:33,405
Motivate me. You gotta
speak through here.
267
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:34,572
You're a friggin' principal.
268
00:14:34,606 --> 00:14:36,450
Tap into why you wanted to
be one in the first place.
269
00:14:36,474 --> 00:14:37,543
Honestly, I didn't.
270
00:14:37,576 --> 00:14:38,877
I took a gym teacher temp job,
271
00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:40,222
and next thing you know,
they made me Principal.
272
00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:41,790
That's some white
privilege shit right there.
273
00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:43,916
That's what I said.
274
00:14:43,949 --> 00:14:46,284
Listen, you got two options.
275
00:14:46,318 --> 00:14:48,253
Reach deep down inside
and come up with a speech
276
00:14:48,286 --> 00:14:50,923
that'll inspire people
to donate to our school,
277
00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:53,658
or, half-ass it, like
you've done your whole life,
278
00:14:53,692 --> 00:14:57,196
and steal a speech off the Internet
like your lazy-ass students do.
279
00:14:59,865 --> 00:15:03,435
- I'm gonna go with B. The second thing.
- What the fuck!
280
00:15:03,468 --> 00:15:06,604
Speeches for Principal...
281
00:15:08,039 --> 00:15:13,578
"To lead is to listen. To
educate is to understand.
282
00:15:13,612 --> 00:15:18,216
To inspire, you must be
more than a prince or a pal."
283
00:15:18,250 --> 00:15:20,052
I like that.
284
00:15:22,587 --> 00:15:24,990
I'm using it.
285
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:46,512
Hey, Wayne! Can you grab
my hair clip out of my bag?
286
00:16:04,062 --> 00:16:06,598
What the fuck, Wayne? You hear me?
287
00:16:09,934 --> 00:16:11,470
Oh, no, I need more color than this.
288
00:16:11,503 --> 00:16:15,107
Gonna add some cilantro.
How's that look?
289
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:17,008
Shades of Robin Hood, really.
290
00:16:17,041 --> 00:16:19,244
- Cilantro?
- The boy.
291
00:16:19,278 --> 00:16:21,379
Stealing from the rich,
helping the poor...
292
00:16:21,412 --> 00:16:25,550
Sarge, we've now seen
cases of arson, assault,
293
00:16:25,583 --> 00:16:28,453
a hole where a motherfucker's
nose used to be,
294
00:16:28,486 --> 00:16:31,056
and you're still goin' on like
he's some type of choir boy!
295
00:16:35,994 --> 00:16:39,331
Well, shit. You ain't gained a pound!
296
00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:43,401
- Night yoga, my friend. How's Connie?
- Good, good.
297
00:16:43,434 --> 00:16:45,870
She just self-published a kids' book
298
00:16:45,903 --> 00:16:49,774
about a couple of seashells
learning to listen to one other.
299
00:16:51,543 --> 00:16:54,880
Well, you gotta jiggle
the handle. Jiggle it hard.
300
00:16:54,913 --> 00:16:58,950
I wanna thank you for sleuthin'
out that construction business.
301
00:16:58,984 --> 00:17:03,188
To think I was considerin' that
asshole for my kitchen remodel.
302
00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,290
The reason I tracked you down here...
303
00:17:05,323 --> 00:17:07,259
Mayor over in Fayetteville,
304
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:09,110
he's got every cop he can get
305
00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:11,963
out looking for a maniac
who assaulted his son
306
00:17:11,997 --> 00:17:14,065
at a pit stop over in Fairmont.
307
00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:16,768
Doused the kid in gasoline,
threatened to torch him.
308
00:17:16,801 --> 00:17:21,273
Guess what, this particular
maniac had a Boston accent.
309
00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:23,208
I can't stop it.
310
00:17:23,242 --> 00:17:27,112
- Well, get some more towels.
- Sorry, ran out already.
311
00:17:27,145 --> 00:17:29,580
- How fast is this thing flowing?
- 14...
312
00:17:29,614 --> 00:17:31,816
- Evidence room.
- Getting the evidence now.
313
00:17:31,849 --> 00:17:36,755
Damn, duty calls. Anything else
develops, I'll let you know.
314
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:44,562
All right, so, say we chalk this
up to a good kid having a bad week,
315
00:17:44,595 --> 00:17:47,198
and he's this Robin
Hood-type you think he is,
316
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:48,967
then what?
317
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,269
What are you hoping to
get out of this, Sarge?
318
00:17:51,303 --> 00:17:53,004
I guess what I'm really wondering is,
319
00:17:53,038 --> 00:17:54,448
do we need to protect
Wayne from the world,
320
00:17:54,472 --> 00:17:56,942
or do we need to protect
the world from Wayne?
321
00:17:56,975 --> 00:17:59,043
It's like trying to
photograph this pea soup.
322
00:17:59,077 --> 00:18:01,379
No matter how many filters I put on,
323
00:18:01,412 --> 00:18:06,318
it doesn't change the fact that
it still looks like baby shit.
324
00:18:07,819 --> 00:18:12,124
You know what'd pull these
together? Ladies' monocles.
325
00:18:12,157 --> 00:18:14,026
You guys, about this dance.
326
00:18:14,059 --> 00:18:17,062
- Are we actually gonna dance?
- Ah, it depends.
327
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,831
Yeah, if a half dope song
comes on, I'll be like...
328
00:18:19,864 --> 00:18:22,467
Oh, yeah! It's my baby girl.
329
00:18:22,501 --> 00:18:25,404
"Wicked" hot. Say it.
330
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:26,437
Wicked hot.
331
00:18:26,471 --> 00:18:28,473
What about you, New
England Clam Chowder?
332
00:18:28,507 --> 00:18:30,342
- Oh, you want to see somethin'?
- Oh, yeah.
333
00:18:30,375 --> 00:18:32,978
- All right, you wanna see something?
- Let's go.
334
00:18:33,011 --> 00:18:34,213
- Del...
- Oh!
335
00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:38,516
What the crud? What took you so long?
336
00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:40,486
- Where's my hairclip?
- Could we talk?
337
00:18:41,986 --> 00:18:43,789
Not here?
338
00:18:45,691 --> 00:18:49,128
Dude, what the fuck
is wrong with this guy?
339
00:18:50,862 --> 00:18:52,397
Hey, we're almost done.
340
00:18:52,431 --> 00:18:56,101
Will you stop acting like
such a fucking weirdo?
341
00:18:56,134 --> 00:18:57,469
I think you should stay.
342
00:18:57,502 --> 00:18:59,604
What? Yeah, we're
staying for the dance...
343
00:18:59,638 --> 00:19:01,273
It's fine. I get it.
344
00:19:02,340 --> 00:19:03,742
What the hell's wrong with you?
345
00:19:05,777 --> 00:19:09,882
I just think if you want
to stay, you should stay.
346
00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:12,885
So, where the fuck are you going?
347
00:19:17,889 --> 00:19:19,167
You'll have more fun without me.
348
00:19:19,191 --> 00:19:21,192
So, you're just gonna fucking leave?
349
00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:24,663
Real cool move, dick!
350
00:19:24,696 --> 00:19:26,932
I'll see you later, then?
351
00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:33,604
So, should I cancel our
P.F. Chang's reservation?
352
00:19:33,638 --> 00:19:36,475
They get real cunty
about last minute shit.
353
00:19:58,729 --> 00:19:59,965
Come on.
354
00:20:05,236 --> 00:20:07,506
Guys, be honest with me.
Is this too fucking much?
355
00:20:07,539 --> 00:20:09,841
Nah, dude, we look so
fucking elegant right now.
356
00:20:09,874 --> 00:20:12,314
For real, we look like some top
shelf Helen Mirrens over here.
357
00:20:12,344 --> 00:20:14,946
Dude, check out fucking Jeremy.
358
00:20:14,979 --> 00:20:18,850
Hey, dude, they have to
actually be into it, you chode!
359
00:20:23,221 --> 00:20:25,857
- Hey, you okay, lady bro?
- Yeah, man, fine.
360
00:20:43,641 --> 00:20:47,645
- Hey, you know Trish and Jenny?
- Yeah, man. I know them.
361
00:20:47,678 --> 00:20:51,550
Those two wild, you
know what I'm saying?
362
00:20:53,618 --> 00:20:56,254
- Can you give this to 'em?
- Sure, buddy.
363
00:20:56,287 --> 00:20:59,003
I can't promise anything right now.
364
00:20:59,004 --> 00:21:01,260
I just got into some pretty dank nuggs.
365
00:21:03,261 --> 00:21:06,531
That's pretty sweet, right?
Every Friday, it's the same thing.
366
00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:09,501
They come here, order
their mushroom pizza.
367
00:21:10,668 --> 00:21:13,471
- I hate mushrooms.
- Yeah, so does he.
368
00:21:13,505 --> 00:21:16,541
He hates the music in here,
the smell of the place.
369
00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:18,776
He tells me every week
when she's not listening.
370
00:21:18,810 --> 00:21:20,417
And I tell him, "Man,
371
00:21:20,418 --> 00:21:23,848
I can make your pizza half
mushroom, half cheese."
372
00:21:23,882 --> 00:21:25,016
But he wants it that way.
373
00:21:25,050 --> 00:21:28,120
Just so he can pick them
off, and give them to her.
374
00:21:28,153 --> 00:21:29,554
Sacrifice, man.
375
00:21:37,362 --> 00:21:38,897
Oh, hey, hey?
376
00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:43,173
He may not be eating mushrooms,
377
00:21:43,174 --> 00:21:45,737
but you know what he'll be eating later?
378
00:21:45,771 --> 00:21:48,740
Vintage pussy.
379
00:21:57,248 --> 00:21:59,551
Best to watch the evidence in here.
380
00:21:59,584 --> 00:22:00,928
It's the only room in the building
381
00:22:00,952 --> 00:22:03,688
not affected by our
unfortunate plumbing situation.
382
00:22:03,721 --> 00:22:06,491
You sure about that?
383
00:22:06,525 --> 00:22:08,794
Sir, we need you on the third floor.
384
00:22:10,428 --> 00:22:13,465
Look, fellas. I gotta go. Good luck.
385
00:22:14,732 --> 00:22:17,869
All right, so, if we see
legit video proof of this kid
386
00:22:17,902 --> 00:22:20,264
on the verge of
straight-up fiery murder,
387
00:22:20,265 --> 00:22:21,265
I just wanna let you know that...
388
00:22:21,269 --> 00:22:23,909
Just hit it, Jay.
389
00:22:27,579 --> 00:22:31,717
It's not him. That ain't him.
390
00:22:33,218 --> 00:22:36,288
Wait, that's the motherfucker I tased!
391
00:22:38,323 --> 00:22:40,492
Being a leader is sometimes messy.
392
00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:43,528
Both for you and the
people who work for you.
393
00:22:43,561 --> 00:22:46,698
Maybe you're positive, you
know the right road to take.
394
00:22:46,731 --> 00:22:48,676
- Hey. What'd I miss?
- Hey, what are you doing down here?
395
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:50,868
I thought you wanted alone time.
396
00:22:50,902 --> 00:22:52,537
Turns out I only needed three minutes.
397
00:22:52,571 --> 00:22:54,105
All right. Just be quiet. I'm up next.
398
00:22:54,139 --> 00:22:56,474
To lead is to listen.
399
00:22:56,507 --> 00:22:59,010
To educate is to understand.
400
00:22:59,043 --> 00:23:03,715
To inspire, you must be more
than a prince or a pal...
401
00:23:03,748 --> 00:23:09,020
Oh, for fuck's sake. Oh, no, no, no.
402
00:23:09,854 --> 00:23:11,356
He just steal your stolen speech?
403
00:23:11,389 --> 00:23:13,625
Dumbass. Should've
scrolled to the second one.
404
00:23:13,658 --> 00:23:15,660
I don't have to look any further
405
00:23:15,693 --> 00:23:17,562
than watching my own
teaching staff in action.
406
00:23:17,595 --> 00:23:21,099
I am incredible...
407
00:23:30,508 --> 00:23:32,577
- Hey, you like football?
- No.
408
00:23:32,611 --> 00:23:35,580
Awesome, same. Yeah, that's why I row.
409
00:23:35,613 --> 00:23:37,615
Oh, honey, bless your heart.
410
00:24:36,140 --> 00:24:39,510
- Who is that?
- That's fucking Wayne.
411
00:24:39,544 --> 00:24:43,348
Wayne! Wayne! Wayne! Wayne!
412
00:24:43,381 --> 00:24:48,253
Wayne! Wayne! Wayne! Wayne!
413
00:24:53,992 --> 00:24:54,992
Whoa!
414
00:25:06,337 --> 00:25:07,706
Do you wanna dance with me?
415
00:25:09,774 --> 00:25:12,143
I don't know. How sweaty are your hands?
416
00:25:35,667 --> 00:25:39,838
Hey, how you doin'? I'm, uh, Tom Cole.
417
00:25:39,871 --> 00:25:40,871
Uh...
418
00:25:40,905 --> 00:25:44,442
From Hagler High in
Brockton, Massachusetts.
419
00:25:44,475 --> 00:25:49,147
It's named after
Marvelous Marvin Hagler.
420
00:25:49,180 --> 00:25:54,886
The boxer? 1980s? No?
421
00:25:57,054 --> 00:25:59,757
When I was preparing for this speech,
422
00:25:59,791 --> 00:26:04,328
someone told me to dig deep
and speak from the heart.
423
00:26:04,361 --> 00:26:08,900
So, I did some digging. And
you know what's in there?
424
00:26:08,933 --> 00:26:12,871
Hate. Lots and lots of hate.
425
00:26:14,772 --> 00:26:18,710
Hate for the kids, my school, my job,
426
00:26:21,913 --> 00:26:24,215
but, uh, mostly, for myself.
427
00:26:24,249 --> 00:26:26,117
Then why are you here?
428
00:26:26,150 --> 00:26:28,284
The gentleman wearing
slacks with sandals
429
00:26:28,285 --> 00:26:29,353
would like to know why I'm here.
430
00:26:29,387 --> 00:26:32,991
And, obviously, it's because
I'm trying to get a grant.
431
00:26:33,024 --> 00:26:37,328
For some electronics that'll end
up being broken, stolen, or shit on.
432
00:26:37,362 --> 00:26:39,063
That's a true story, FYI.
433
00:26:39,096 --> 00:26:43,234
Last time we got tablets, someone
took an actual shit on one.
434
00:26:43,267 --> 00:26:45,136
So, now, we need new tablets.
435
00:26:45,169 --> 00:26:48,740
- But you know where that shit comes from?
- Your ass?
436
00:26:48,773 --> 00:26:51,876
No, it comes from us.
437
00:26:51,909 --> 00:26:55,413
It comes from the top. And
that shit trickles down.
438
00:26:55,446 --> 00:27:01,085
Hell, I can't even look
most of the kids in the eye.
439
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:03,020
Uh, because if I do,
440
00:27:03,054 --> 00:27:10,928
their snotty, pierced faces just
remind me that I'm failing them.
441
00:27:10,962 --> 00:27:13,198
Maybe some of you have given up, too.
442
00:27:13,231 --> 00:27:16,367
We know Sandals with Slacks clearly has.
443
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,737
Okay, I mean, Jesus. I mean,
that's a bad Jesus, by the way.
444
00:27:19,770 --> 00:27:22,307
We know this guy has, okay.
445
00:27:22,340 --> 00:27:26,711
'Cause he stole that same
speech that I was gonna do.
446
00:27:26,744 --> 00:27:29,647
He stole it from the Internet.
447
00:27:31,215 --> 00:27:32,917
Sorry.
448
00:27:32,950 --> 00:27:36,721
So, alls I'm saying is,
we gotta work harder.
449
00:27:38,589 --> 00:27:40,759
Maybe we gotta change first,
450
00:27:41,726 --> 00:27:43,361
before we ask them to.
451
00:27:47,065 --> 00:27:49,834
So, buy 'em some fuckin' iPads.
452
00:27:54,305 --> 00:27:55,840
Thank you.
453
00:27:59,377 --> 00:28:04,049
- I thought we were wearing dumb stuff.
- What's dumb about that?
454
00:28:06,718 --> 00:28:09,487
Guess I did want to go for real.
455
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:10,988
Yeah.
456
00:28:11,022 --> 00:28:15,393
No, I, uh, just mean...
457
00:28:17,595 --> 00:28:19,730
Who even are we now?
458
00:28:19,764 --> 00:28:24,969
What are we gonna do
after we find that car?
459
00:28:25,002 --> 00:28:27,204
We haven't really talked about that.
460
00:28:27,237 --> 00:28:33,978
Are we ever even going back to
school? Are we dropouts, now?
461
00:28:36,413 --> 00:28:38,183
I guess I just...
462
00:28:38,216 --> 00:28:39,510
I don't know, I thought maybe,
463
00:28:39,511 --> 00:28:44,222
I'd never really have
a chance to do this.
464
00:28:44,555 --> 00:28:46,257
So...
465
00:28:50,095 --> 00:28:51,296
I got scared.
466
00:28:53,598 --> 00:28:58,736
Seeing you at school, with friends...
467
00:28:58,769 --> 00:29:02,773
You looked happy,
going to fancy houses...
468
00:29:02,806 --> 00:29:05,910
It was one house.
469
00:29:07,612 --> 00:29:13,784
I just don't want to take you
away from a life you might like,
470
00:29:13,818 --> 00:29:16,421
or maybe want, I don't know.
471
00:29:16,454 --> 00:29:19,857
It's not like I wanna stay...
472
00:29:19,891 --> 00:29:21,860
And even if...
473
00:29:23,728 --> 00:29:25,096
I don't know.
474
00:29:25,129 --> 00:29:28,866
No matter what I do, I wanna...
475
00:29:28,899 --> 00:29:32,270
I wanna do it with you, or whatever.
476
00:29:32,303 --> 00:29:36,441
I don't wanna do it with not you.
477
00:29:39,210 --> 00:29:41,846
You fuckin' idiot.
478
00:29:48,519 --> 00:29:49,587
Whoo!
479
00:29:49,620 --> 00:29:51,355
- Surprise!
- No!
480
00:29:51,388 --> 00:29:53,066
Back the fuck up, Delilah!
481
00:29:53,090 --> 00:29:55,392
- Get off of him!
- Get off me!
482
00:29:55,426 --> 00:29:56,994
Let me go!
483
00:29:57,027 --> 00:29:59,155
You fuckin' nuts? You
come into my house,
484
00:29:59,156 --> 00:30:00,964
you fucking bust up my television...
485
00:30:00,998 --> 00:30:02,634
A 32-inch fuckin' Zenith!
486
00:30:02,667 --> 00:30:03,944
You kidnap my fucking daughter!
487
00:30:03,968 --> 00:30:06,003
Stop it! I fucking chose to leave!
488
00:30:06,037 --> 00:30:07,738
Shut your fucking mouth, Delilah!
489
00:30:07,771 --> 00:30:09,907
- They're beating up Wayne!
- Fuck you.
490
00:30:13,611 --> 00:30:16,915
Stop it! Stop it!
491
00:30:18,216 --> 00:30:20,485
- Daddy!
- Hold him. Hold him.
492
00:30:27,358 --> 00:30:30,694
- Motherfucker!
- Fucking stop!
493
00:30:30,728 --> 00:30:33,530
- Come here!
- Stop, Daddy!
494
00:30:35,499 --> 00:30:36,601
Nice shot.
495
00:30:36,634 --> 00:30:39,504
You take my fucking nose,
motherfucker. You pretty boy?
496
00:30:39,537 --> 00:30:40,904
Go get those goddamn bolt cutters.
497
00:30:40,938 --> 00:30:42,716
- Cannibal.
- We're taking a nose with us.
498
00:30:42,740 --> 00:30:44,074
Huh?
499
00:30:44,108 --> 00:30:47,011
- Get the fuck off of Wayne!
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
500
00:30:49,814 --> 00:30:51,157
Let's go, bitch. What the fuck you got?
501
00:30:51,181 --> 00:30:52,616
- Come on, motherfucker.
- Let's go!
502
00:30:59,490 --> 00:31:00,592
Jesus. You okay?
503
00:31:04,495 --> 00:31:05,563
Come on, we gotta go.
504
00:31:21,879 --> 00:31:23,014
Delilah!
505
00:31:29,753 --> 00:31:31,823
Suck on this, you fucking scumbag!
506
00:31:31,856 --> 00:31:33,416
That's what you get for fucking with...
507
00:31:38,830 --> 00:31:40,164
I think,
508
00:31:41,032 --> 00:31:44,768
if I were him, fugitive state of mind,
509
00:31:46,337 --> 00:31:48,039
I'm probably tired and hungry.
510
00:31:48,072 --> 00:31:50,074
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
511
00:31:50,107 --> 00:31:52,376
If this is about soup, Jay,
we've got real problems.
512
00:31:52,410 --> 00:31:53,577
No, I found the videos
513
00:31:53,611 --> 00:31:56,647
that the Luccetti boys have
been posting from their trip.
514
00:31:56,680 --> 00:31:58,049
Look at their last post.
515
00:32:02,053 --> 00:32:04,622
Good God, what are those men...
516
00:32:04,655 --> 00:32:05,823
Stop, Daddy!
517
00:32:05,856 --> 00:32:08,993
- Is that Wayne?
- Yeah.
518
00:32:14,766 --> 00:32:16,701
Christ on crutches.
519
00:32:16,734 --> 00:32:22,240
Shit! You were right. Maybe lil'
Robin Hood does need our help.
520
00:32:23,174 --> 00:32:24,175
Oh...
521
00:32:29,246 --> 00:32:30,581
Next on Wayne...
522
00:32:30,615 --> 00:32:33,851
You got more gross color
skin than regular color skin.
523
00:32:33,885 --> 00:32:35,253
We gotta go to the hospital.
524
00:32:35,286 --> 00:32:37,655
- I don't take drugs.
- Just take it.
525
00:32:37,688 --> 00:32:40,724
- Why are you looking at me like that?
- I'm just happy.
526
00:32:40,757 --> 00:32:42,293
Your dad's in hospital.
527
00:32:42,326 --> 00:32:44,661
- What's the status of his injuries?
- He's dying.
528
00:32:44,695 --> 00:32:45,996
We need to stay alert, okay?
529
00:32:46,030 --> 00:32:48,099
He's here! He's in the hospital!
530
00:32:50,501 --> 00:32:51,602
Are those all dead?
531
00:32:51,635 --> 00:32:52,837
Are you guys dead?
532
00:32:52,870 --> 00:32:54,448
- Can you buy us booze?
- I got a fake ID.
533
00:32:54,472 --> 00:32:56,641
Can we just hurry the fuck up, please?
534
00:32:56,674 --> 00:32:59,243
Do not get her pregnant.
535
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:05,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
41096
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