All language subtitles for Superstore.S03E01.WEBRip.x264-ION10_English

.

[playing Radiohead's "Creep"
on ukulele]

- * You're so
freakin' special *

[thunder booms faintly]

* I wish I was special

* But I'm a creep

* I'm a weirdo

* What the hell
am I doing here? *

- D-Did Brett like Radiohead?

- No, it's just
the only song she knows.

- Her YouTube channel is so sad.
- * I don't belong...

* Here

[ukulele flourish]

[claps lightly]

- Thank you, Sandra.
That was...lovely.

We're gathered here today
to honor our dear friend

and co-worker
Brett Kobashigawa.

He died doing what he loved
most--collecting carts.

- We do not know he's dead!

- Glenn.
- They did not find a body.

- They found a foot.

- Maybe it's
somebody else's foot.

All we know is that
Brett was in the parking lot

collecting carts
when the tornado hit.

And that no one has seen
or heard from him since.

- And the foot...
- Stop with the foot.

We have addressed the foot.
- I agree with Glenn.

Brett wasn't killed
by that tornado.

- Thank you, Dina.

- What usually happens is
all the air is sucked

from your lungs and then they
fill up with blood,

so, technically, he probably
drowned on his own blood.

- Why didn't we know about
Brett's death sooner?

- Apparently someone
was clocking in for him.

Guys, this is one
of the reasons

that clock-in buddies
is a bad idea.

- Also, it could've been
blunt force trauma.

I mean, at those wind speeds,
even a coffee mug

could blow your chest plate
wide open.

- At any rate, we hereby
dedicate this bench to Brett,

where he used to sit
on his flip phone

and argue with his wife
for hours.

- Yeah, now might
not be the best time,

but if anybody still hasn't
chipped in for the plaque,

it's $6.83 each, so...

Just, you know, get it to me
when you can.

- His body
isn't even cold yet, Jonah.

- Because he's
probably still alive,

basking on some beach
in the Mediterranean.

- Yeah, just waiting for his
foot stump to heal.

- Could've been impaled
by a curtain rod.

I mean, for all we know,
he could be one of

several people on the same rod.

Hopefully, for his sake,
he was on one of the ends.

- Okay, Sandra, how about
another song?

- Oh.
Okay, uh, it's not a song,

but I-I did learn a new chord.

[strums out of tune]

Nope, no--that's not it.

[strums out of tune again]

Nope.

[upbeat music]

*

[mellow music]

- So that was a...
Cloud 9 funeral.

- Yep, there was
way more fanfare

when Deborah got hit
by a forklift.

- Sorry I missed that.

You know, Brett's actually
the first person

I ever knew who died.

- Really?

What about, like, your
grandparents?

- Nope.
All still alive and healthy.

My Pop-pop can run
an eight-minute mile.

- That's a weird thing
to brag about.

- I'm just saying.
It's pretty fast.

- I go to, like,
three funerals a year.

It's a good excuse
to see family.

- I don't even know anybody
who's ever been in, like,

a major accident.

- Also a weird thing
to brag about.

- Except for Garrett, maybe.

That was an accident, right?
He was...how, uh...

- Huh. I don't know.

- Me neither.

I feel like I should know that.
- Why?

- Because he's, you know,
one of my best friends.

And my roommate.

We're definitely close enough
for me to know.

We pee with the doors open.

- I don't pee
in front of anyone.

- Well then, I guess you
don't have any best friends.

- Oww!

Ohh!
These things are impossible.

- Yeah, and who is gonna steal

a "Matrix 2" and "3" box set?

- Okay, I can't, I can't--

This is blood. I'm bleeding.
- Where?

- Hey, you two.
How's it going?

- Ugh. Pretty sucky.

- Because of Brett?

- Huh?

- I think it's very, very likely
that he is still alive.

But if you two are upset about
his disappearance,

then you can take a break
for a while.

- Oh, no, that's okay,
we don't--

- Thank you, Glenn.

We, um, we could really use
a chance to sit and reflect.

You know, Brett was like
a father to me, so...

- Yeah, and he was--he was like
a grandfather to me.

- [clears throat]

Uh, I'm young enough that he was
also like a grandfather to me.

- I had no idea.

Well, you two take
as long as you need, okay?

You know,
a book of Matthew says,

"Blessed are those
who mourn--"

- Glenn, we're gonna mourn
in our own way.

- [whispers] Yeah.

- Nice.
- [squeaks]

[rain pattering,
thunder booming]

- Hey, Dina, Justine's
complaining about an odor

in the women's room again.

She's describing it as
a liquid raccoon smell.

Hey, Dina. You okay?

- What?
Yeah, sorry, I just

haven't really
been sleeping lately.

[sighs] You know,
weather's getting worse.

I'm starting to think
we should get everyone

into the new storm shelter.

- [scoffs] Uh, I don't think
that's necessary.

It's just a rainstorm.

- Tell that to Brett.
Oh, wait, you can't.

'Cause he's smeared
all over the Midwest.

['80s pop song]

*

- I get that it's weird
for a dude to say this,

but I'm gonna miss
Brett's laugh.

- Me too, me too. Hey, man, uh,
let me ask you something.

How...

How, uh...
How did, how were you--

- I'm sorry. What?

- No, it's just--
wh--did--did...

Were you always...
Did--because I don't--

Oh, look! Look at that!
That's Amy. Hey, Amy.

- Hey. Have you guys noticed
anything weird about Dina?

[thunder booming faintly]

- Well, Dina's her own thing.

We've had sex in
three different houses,

and I'm not totally sure
any of them were hers.

- Okay. I mean, not normal
Dina-weirdness, like,

something's off.

- I don't know. I mean,
maybe she's just--

[thunder booms]
- [gasps]

- Oh! See?

[percussive music]

- Attention--all customers and
employees to the storm shelter.

Now, people! Let's go!

[panting]

Ugh! Move, grandpa!

[clattering, clinking]

- Again, I'm so sorry
for the false alarm.

There's no tornado.
You're free to leave.

- Now, better safe than sorry,
so no apologies.

- Yes, but, well,
we are apologizing.

- I am absolutely
not apologizing.

- Well, some people should be.
- Well, some people

should shut their damn yaps.

- Anyway, as a thank you,
please enjoy a coupon

for 50 cents off frozen yogurt
in the café.

- [clears throat]
[softly] We could only find ten.

- So...get them
while they're hot.

Thank you.

Give one to her.
Dina was really rough with her.

- * When we are apart,
I feel it too...*

[water pit-pattering]

* I feel the pain

- Hey, Myrtle, you've been here
a long time, right?

- Since 1987.

- Oh, yeah,
so you were here, then,

when Garrett
first started--

- The Cards were in
the World Series.

I was having an affair
with Ozzie Smith.

The Wizard,
we used to call him.

- Wow, no kidding. So--

- Turns out
it wasn't really Ozzie.

He was a waiter at Beffa's,

which was a popular
establishment back then.

- Beffa's?
Never heard of it.

- I once saw Al Wiman having
a roast beef sandwich there.

Well, he ordered it.
I don't recall if he ate it.

- That's a really good story.

Um, Myrtle, when--
- Back then,

people were tougher
than they are now.

You can't even call someone
a [bleep]

even if they're being one.

[laughs]
Which reminds me of a story...

I once had a sister-in-law
who really was [bleep],

and she was adorable.

- I finally get to catch up
on Kylie Jenner's Insta.

- Man, she does sponsored posts
in a way that

make you really believe
that she loves the product.

- I know. It's beautiful.

- How's it going, you two?

- Oh, uh...comes in waves.

One second I'm, like, "Huh?"
And the next I'm, like, "Huh."

- Well, you know,
I'm still holding out hope

that Brett's alive.

- Even with the foot?

- I don't wanna
re-litigate the foot, but...

I did wanna write
a Brett tribute

for the newsletter--
you know, just in case.

And you guys knew him so well
I thought maybe you could help.

- Of course. I mean,
we would love to honor him.

- So what was
his wife's name?

- Um...

- Cinnamon.
- Margaret.

- Cinnamon Margaret?

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.

- Uh-huh.
That is...what we said.

- Okay, uh, I also wanna include
a funny story.

- Well... [laughs]

We obviously have...
so many of those.

- Obviously.
[laughs]

From real life.
- Mm-hmm.

- Great. Okay.
[laughs]

- Cheyenne,
what's your favorite?

- Just a heads-up,
we're gonna need to do

a full restock of the jerky.

I'm taking this down
to the storm shelter.

- Oh, do we need that much?

Tornadoes last, like,
15 minutes.

- Uh, what if the roof
caves in?

Sorry, everybody. Looks like
we're gonna starve down here

because Amy thought we'd only
be trapped for 15 minutes.

- Uh, Dina?
That seems a little dramatic.

- [mockingly] "Okay, uh, Dina?
That seems a little dramatic."

Look, I don't have time
to roast you, okay?

I still need sun lamps,
mylar blankets...

- Are you maybe
going through anything

you wanna talk about, or...

- Okay, I need
to have games for morale.

Chess, Scrabble,
Uno for the dummies.

- Okay, Dina?
I'm worried about you.

As a friend.
- You wanna be a friend?

Go freeze a couple hundred
pounds of chard.

- I'm not doing that.

- [scoffs]
Fine.

Guess we won't have chard.

- * I bought a toothbrush,
toothpaste *

* A flannel for my face

* Pajamas, a hairbrush

* New shoes and a case...

- Okay. Thank you.

- Hey, Sandra,
how's it going?

- I just found out Jerry's
feeding tube got infected and--

- Ah, same here.

So let me ask you a question,

but don't tell Garrett.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Has he ever told you how
he ended up in a wheelchair?

- Um...let me think.

- Hey, what's up, guys?

- Hey.

- Hey! What's going on?

- What you guys
talking about?

- Nothing.

- Nothing?

So you guys are just
in the hallway

staring at each other
saying nothing?

- Well, not nothing.
I mean, we were--

we were talking about...

- [stammering]
Jonah's going to a barbecue,

and he asked
if it'd be interesting

to put burrata on
a burger instead of provolone.

And I said,
"Who uses provolone?"

[both laugh]

And he was laughing,
and then I started laughing.

And then he asked,
"Are burgers cliché in general?"

And I said, "No,
not if you use venison."

But then you said,

"Venison does not
pair with burrata," so...

here we are.

- Yeah.
A-and then you--

and then you came up.
- Mm-hmm.

- So...
- Well, I'm sorry I asked.

- Okay.
- I-I'll see you around.

- Mm.

- Wow, you are
an incredible liar.

- Thank you.

[laughs]

- Swam up the Panama Canal.

Hey, how long was he
a cowboy trick rider for?

- Well, he was in the circuit
for a number of years

with his horse named...

Cloud Tie.

- Cloud Tie.
- Yeah.

- And, uh,
then he joined the Marines.

He was in the...
Blue Shirt Division.

- Okay.
- At the battle of, uh...

- Khaki Pants.
- Yep.

- Like it sounds?

- Mm-hmm.

K-H...
K...A-K-I.

- I just think that the tornado
and this Brett stuff

is really affecting you.

- How many iodine tablets
to sterilize urine?

Is it two or three?
- I really couldn't say.

- Maybe err on
the side of caution.

- Are you okay?
'Cause you seem a little manic.

- Is this your thing?
Do you like to

just follow people
and tell them everything

you think is wrong with them?
'Cause I could do that too.

- No, that's not--
- Hair. Chin. Shrimpy build.

Boobs.
Well, left boob.

- I'm willing to ignore that

because I know
you're lashing out.

- Ankles.
- I have joint inflammation!

You need to get help!
- I'm fine!

[loud crash]

man: Sorry.

.

- I think there's something
wrong with Dina.

- Heck, yeah, there is.
[laughs]

- No, Glenn.
It wasn't a diss.

- [continuous laughing]

- Okay.

- Good burn!
That was fun.

Hey, let's do Elias now--

- Glenn, I think the tornado
really affected her.

I don't know if this is
a workman's comp type of thing,

but she needs
to talk to someone.

- Oh, Lisa's a good listener.

- I was thinking
like a professional.

- Ohh! Okay.

Now, we don't have a binder
on dealing with tornadoes,

but I did find one
on workplace shootings

that I think
I can make work.

- The tornado was like
two months ago.

We're over it.

- Well, maybe you are.

But maybe there's someone else
who's having trouble coping.

- Who is it?
- It doesn't matter.

- Is it Sandra?
- Nope.

- Is it Dina?
- I'm not gonna say.

- [whispers] Carol.
- No!

- Thanks, Ames.
- I'm sorry.

This is not what I had
in mind.

- "If you're reading this,
then your branch

"has been the victim
of a workplace...tornado.

"Workplace tornados
are a growing epidemic

"that we need to face while
still respecting the right

of every American
to own tornados."

It's good.

[water pit-pattering]

['80s pop song]

*

- "Many tornado victims
describe worrying

"that behind every hallway,

there's a lone tornado
waiting to tornado them."

- This is waste of time.

- Look, Dina.
I just think

that you're holding in
a lot of pent-up emotion

and that it's good
to talk about these things.

I learned that
in couples therapy.

- Oh, and that worked out
great for you, didn't it?

- Dina, that didn't

work out for them, though,
actually.

They're getting a divorce.
- [softly] I know.

- You know, there's no shame

in admitting
you're having a tough time

dealing
with something, okay?

In college,
I discovered that my dad

was having an affair
on Parents Weekend.

Try enjoying
"Stomp" after that.

- Ugh, that's your trauma?

I watched my brother drown
in the South China Sea.

- Well, it's not a contest.

- Well, if it was, you'd lose.

- I went to the movie "Saw"

thinking it was about carpentry.

It is not!

I threw up in my lap.

And then Jerusha made us stay
because it was our date night

and the tickets
were non-refundable.

- Okay, there's a lot
to unpack there,

but let's circle back
to Dina.

- I once got caught
trying to run

a badger game
in Kansas City.

Ha.
I had to cut my way out.

[water pattering]

["I Can Dream About You"
plays]

- * I can dream about you...

- Thank you, Cheyenne,
for taking us

through your visit
to Cancun, but...

I'm not clear--
what was traumatic about it?

- Nothing. It was awesome.

- Great. Okay, uh, well,
who hasn't shared yet?

- Uh, Garrett hasn't.
- Oh. Garrett?

- Oh, no,
I've lived a blessed life.

- I have something.

My first apartment
was in a pet cemetery--

- You're saying
nothing traumatic

has ever happened
to you?

'Cause, you know,
this--this is a safe space.

- Well, when I was a kid,

I was really into
horseback riding.

I was good at it too.

Until Chestnut bucked me
going over a hurdle

and I landed on my neck.

[all gasp]

Doc said I was lucky
to walk away.

But I came in last place,
so...

- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Yeah, that sounds bad.

- [laughing] Are you kidding?
That's, like, nothing.

- My worse trauma
was when Sandra

tried to murder me
during a tornado.

- I didn't try to murder you.

I just didn't try to save you.

- I love your friendship.
Frick and Frack.

- You know, this--
right here, right now--

this is my greatest trauma.
- Glenn, let's wrap this up.

- Yeah. I'm out of here.
- No, Dina--

- Look. Listen. I get it.

You want me to suddenly
get in touch

with some deep, dark emotions,
but guess what.

I don't have time
to whine about my issues,

and frankly, I am sick
of listening

to all you people
whine about yours.

Get off me!

Move, Brett!

- So, apparently
when the tornado was coming,

Brett was able to run
and make it to his car.

- And then his car
got swallowed up by the tornado?

- No, he just drove home.
- Oh.

- And then we emailed
the wrong Brett,

so we never knew
he was scheduled to work.

- Well,
I knew he wasn't dead.

- Yeah.
I guess you were right.

- Though,
just between you and me,

I thought he was dead
for sure.

But now look at him.
God bless.

Hanging out
with his best friends.

- Oh.
Never knew they were friends.

- You sure are bagging
those groceries.

- Oh. I thought you had
a spider on your shoulder.

- Oops. Oh. Got it.
There it is.

- [giggling]
- There it is.

- Is Glenn still watching?

- [clears throat]
Yep.

- Okay.
[laughs]

[both laugh]

- Wait. Oh, my God.
Whose foot was that?

- Hey, man.
I'ma take off early.

I, uh...saw a motorcycle
in the parking lot

and it's the same motorcycle
that I was riding the night...

it all went down.
- Okay, all right.

Okay, okay, I get it.
You're messing with me.

You can stop now.

- Cool.

- Hey, just an FYI.

I wasn't trying to be nosy.
I just--

I thought it would be cool
to know you better. That's all.

You know, you're my roommate,
and you're my best friend, and--

- Okay. First of all,
I don't need a best friend.

I'm an adult.

And if I did have
a best friend,

it would be
my boy Randy Mendoza.

We've known each other since
the second grade.

- Always about Randy...

- Look. What if I told you
I got shot in Iraq?

Or got drunk and hit
a bus full of nuns?

- Is this also in Iraq?

- Whatever it is,
it's gonna put me in a box.

And I don't want that.

- Understood.

Hey. D--um...does Randy know?

- Of course.
He's my best friend.

- That's messed up.

- Wow.

Really got everything
in here, huh?

Beef jerky...

beans...

pornography?

- People are gonna
need a release, Amy.

It could be hours down here.

- Look, you know
Brett is alive, right?

No one died.
It's all okay.

So, we can just head out.

- I'm not leaving.

- You cannot...stay...
down here!

- Are you being
serious right now?

- [gasps] Oh, God.

Okay, you know what?

Fine. I get it.
You don't want my help.

I give up.
I'm giving up.

- Great.

Oh, it's just getting sad
at this point.

You're so tiny!

- [gasps]
- Look, you know what?

Just for that, you don't
get a space in the shelter.

- Oh, I'm so sad
that I don't get a spot

in your little
masturbation jail.

- All jails
are masturbation jails.

- Look, things happen, okay?

You can't be prepared
for everything.

- No, you can't prepare
for everything,

but I can and I always do.

- Dina...
- Forget it.

You don't wanna
hear about my problems.

- No, I-I do.

Of course I do.

- Really?

[sobbing]
I couldn't sleep or eat,

so I just watched old VHS tapes
of the 1994 Winter Olympics.

I'm Team Tanya all the way,
you know? [sobs]

- Mm.
- I'm pretty sure

Nancy Kerrigan
hit herself in the leg. [sobs]

Nobody tells you at six
that a dog can't eat chocolate.

- Oh, wow. We're going back
to the beginning.

Okay.
[clears throat]

- And for the rest of camp,

all the kids called me
"Bagel Boobs."

[sobs]

I just feel like this feeling
is gonna last forever.

- I know.
With Adam gone,

I'm on my own
for the first time,

and I'm just--I'm terrified.

- Maybe don't make this
about you right now.

- Yeah. No. Sorry.
You go, you go.

You go.
- Okay.

So I think we got up
to my tenth birthday?

- Mm-hmm. We're at ten.

- [sobbing] It's about
to get really bad.