All language subtitles for Superstore.S02E19.WEBRip.x264-IO_English

- Okay, so,

everyone wash their hands,

not just for cacas,
but also for wee-wees.

And if you need help wiping,

well, just come see me, okay?

Obviously, that part
is just for the children.

- I was gonna say,
"Wee-wees too?"

[laughs] Who washes their hand
after a wee-wee?

- Can we take Marcus
off of produce, please?

- Absolutely.

- Glenn, I don't want
to tell you how to parent,

but one of your kids is drawing
on the back of Mateo's head.

- What?

- Leo, you put
that down, mister.

- This is why you can't
bring your kids to work.

- It's just for a few hours.

I'm surprising Jerusha

with a photo of all the kids
we've ever fostered.

Obviously, we'll--we'll
Photoshop in the prison ones.

- What--what is it?
What did he draw?

- Mm, uhh, I don't think

I can say it
in front of the kids.

But... you have one,

but I don't.

But we both like them.

And sometimes they're curved...

- Cheyenne, this is
more disturbing than the word.

- How old's this one?

- Uh, I'm 25.
And I can talk.

- Cool.

I'm around.

- Uh, I'm just gonna ask.

What's going on with
little homey over here?

- Uh, this is attachment therapy
for Timur's

displacement/rage issues.

Uh, it's going really great
so far, yeah.

- Glenn, this one is
eating my breakfast.

- T'Oliver, no!

You had two breakfast pizzas
on the way here.

Stop--stop it.

Stop eating his food!

Stop!

Stop it!

Stop!
Stop eating.

- I don't think he can hear you.

[upbeat music]

*

- Hey, Mateo, what's--
what's going on, bud?

- You know, just

making the most
out of a post-Jeff world.

- Aww.

You can't eat the merchandise.

- I'm gonna pay for it.

- I'll make sure you do.

- Okay, you know what

could help get your mind
off the breakup?

Is if you threw yourself
into the work.

- Yeah.

- That's easy for you to say.

Everything around here
reminds me of him.

Oh, my God!

Did everyone become bald
overnight or something?

- Hey.

I know this is tough for you,

but just know that

Jeff wasn't attractive at all.

I don't know what was going on
from the waist down,

but this...

was a mess.

You're welcome.

- You thought
Jeff was hot, right?

- And for my final trick,

I will put this straw

into my brain--
oh, oh.

[mock sneezes]
- Whoa!

- Cool!
- Awesome!

- It got stuck, yeah.

- I knew I recognized you
from somewhere.

- Oh, yeah?

- You performed in Vegas,
didn't you?

- Oh, yeah, but, uh,
then I quit

to pursue my true passion,

marking down
Martin Lawrence DVDs.

- Well, just don't let my dad
see you doing magic.

- Ah.

- He's not a fan
of the dark arts.

- Oh, no, yeah,
that's the devil's work.

- Mm.

- I have to know
what it was like

having Glenn as a dad.

- It was great, you know.
He's sweet, understanding.

He did try to start
a family band three times.

- Oh, I'm gonna have to see
video of that immediately.

- Immediately?
- Immediately, yeah.

Whoa-ho!
The greatest magic trick of all.

- Yeah, we went to
a lot of tent revivals.

- No way.
- [laughs]

- Before you started here,

our photo studio
had tons of backdrops.

Like waterfalls, jungles,

the living room from "Seinfeld,"
you name it.

- But who would pay
to have their photo taken?

- Mostly families.

Oh, and lonely women with dogs.

- Oh!
Oh-whoa--wait, sweetie.

- No, wait, no.
Thanks.

Bobbie Sue,
you need to stay close.

Papa's got his hands full.

- Oh, you know,
I could watch her

while you finish setting up.

- You think you can handle it?

- [scoffs] Glenn, I'm a mom.

- Okay then,
that would be great.

Oh, just one tip.

Don't let her put
marbles in her mouth.

Uh, don't let anything
fall on her.

- Okay.

- And also,
don't let her get wet.

And don't feed her
after midnight.

[soft laugh] Just kidding,
that's from "Gremlins."

- If you played for my team...
- Yeah?

- Like, you would totally
be into Jeff, right?

- N--he wouldn't even be
in the top five, to be honest.

[children giggling]
- Not--

- Oh, check this out.
Kids love me.

Hey there, kiddos.

Do you guys like Batman?

'Cause I think I saw him
over in Housewares.

You know,

Batman.

From--from the movies.

"I'm Batman!"

Really?

All right, never mind,
these kids are duds.

Move. Excuse me.

- Do you always work so slow?

- Yeah, I bet I could
do that faster.

- What?
No way, okay?

I could totally...

Actually. [clears throat]

I bet there's no way
you can do this entire display

by 2:00.

- Oh, yeah?
- I'ma show you right now.

- We can.
- Good.

You guys keep doing that,

and I'll keep on checking
Jeff's Instagram.

[playful music]

Oh, wow.
[soft chuckle]

Look who's training
for a 5K now.

*

- Thanks, Timur.

Another one.

Oh, Amy, Amy.

[whispers]
Amy.

What do you make of that?

- Oh.

The woman drinking red wine
out of her purse?

Yeah, I think
she's an alcoholic.

- No-no-no-no, past her.
Kristen and Jonah.

- Oh.

- Wait, do you think
they're flirting?

- Um.

Yeah, I--maybe.
Maybe.

- [nervous laugh]
Well, that's just--

a disaster!

- Why?
You--you love Jonah.

- Yeah, I do,

but Kristen's had it tough.

You know, and now
she's finally on a good path.

And I don't want anything
to get in her way.

- Well, I mean,
isn't she in law school?

Uh, she's got a good head
on her shoulders.

- Yeah, until, you know,
she falls for

"Mr. B-School Dropout"
over there.

Next thing you know,
she's ditching classes

so she can get all bortched up
and lie on her back,

watching airplanes land.

- Uh, well, look, Glenn,
who knows.

Maybe Jonah's gonna say
something like, "joie de vivre"

and she won't even
want to go out with him.

- Oh, come on.

You're talking about Jonah.

Who doesn't fall in with Jonah?

So gorgeous.

- Okay.

Ah.

[photo snaps]

Look, Bobbie Sue,
you're puking a rainbow.

It's funny, huh?

Okay, so like I was saying,

in "Step Up 5,"
they're all in,

but then in "Step Up 6,"

they're all out.

- Damn.

You'd think at least
one of them would be in.

- No.

Hey, Bobbie Sue--

Bobbie Sue?

[pensive music]

Bobbie Sue?

Bobbie Sue!

Bobbie Sue?

- Bobbie Sue.
- Bobbie Sue!

- I don't see her anywhere.

- She's got to be somewhere.

- What are you doing in here?
both: Oh, uh...

- Scavenger hunt.
- Making out.

- Yeah, I'm not buying it.

Either fess up or get out,
because I was about to

take off my pants
and eat my lunch.

- How...is...why?

- I lost one of Glenn's
foster kids.

We're looking on
the security cameras,

but we can't find her.

- There's a missing child?

[soft suspenseful music]

It's finally happening.

Al, we've got a code periwinkle,
we need to lock down access

both in and out of
every entrance and exit--

- This--Marcus.
[radio static clicking]

Out today.

[radio static]

- Okay, Marcus, you're gonna
need to hold down the button

when you talk, buddy.

[radio static clicks]
- Over.

- No, Marcus, you need to hold
down the button when you talk,

not when you're listening.

- Excuse me, ma'am, do you know
how to work one of these?

- Forget it. Okay.
Here's how this is gonna go.

We are gonna go out
onto the floor,

fan out and search
every inch of this store.

We will find this child.

- [exhales]
Thanks, Dina.

- Unless she's already dead.

Statistically speaking,
there's a 30% chance

we're already too late.

[Spin Doctors' "Little Miss
Can't Be Wrong" playing]

- Beep, beep, beep.

Yes, beep, beep, beep.

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

[scanner beeping]

- Hey, so, you probably met

some of Glenn's kids
before, right?

Like, um, like that,
like, Kristen

or one of the other ones?

- Yeah, mm-hmm, he brings
them by from time to time.

And once, a couple of them
hung out in the break room

for a whole week while
Jerusha got her legs done.

- I don't know what that means.

- Yeah, we were
too afraid to ask.

- But, um, but, yeah,

that--that, uh, Kristen,

she--she seems--
she seems cool.

Right, I mean, like,

you know, like, cool, like, like

"it wouldn't even be weird if
I asked her out" kind of cool.

- I don't know, I mean,

she is the boss' daughter.

- Yeah, I know, I--that's--

uh, that's--that's--
I know that.

I just sort of kind of
felt like

we had a connection, you know?

- Yeah, but you're always

"having connections"
with people.

It's one of the many, many
annoying things about you.

- So it's not that you're

super jealous
and in love with me

and want me all to yourself?

- Uh, okay.

First of all,

ew.

Second of all,
this is strictly about

Kristen being
your boss' daughter.

And third of all,
which is gonna sound similar

to the first of all,
ew.

- What was the first one again?

- Ew.

[Vampire Weekend's "A-Punk"
plays]

- Bobbie Sue?

Give me a Bobbie Sue, come on.
Come on.

Bobbie Sue?

Bobbie Sue!

- Attention Cloud 9 shoppers.

Please ignore
the following announcement.

Bobbie Sue,
where are you?

- Clear!

Clear!

*

- Oh, have you seen
a little girl?

Really cute hair?

- Bobbie Sue?

Come to the front of the store
for free candy.

The man with wheels
has free--

hey, what's up?

Free candy.

- Hey!

- Oh, grow up, that's nothing
I haven't seen before.

- Bobbie Sue.
Come on.

Bobbie Sue?
[crying]

Where are you?

[groans]

- See, it says right here,
"Bobby Suh," that's me.

- I was talking about
a different Bobbie Sue.

- It doesn't matter.
You said Bobby Suh gets candy.

I'm Bobby Suh.

- I understand that,
phonetically,

your name is Bobby Suh, but
I was looking for someone else.

- No sign of her.

I checked the freezer,
the trash compactor,

the biowaste bin in Pharmacy.

- Oh, my God!
What are we gonna do?

- Don't worry,
we're gonna find her.

- I also checked
the ovens in Cafe.

She's either not in there

or she's been in there too long.

[classic rock music playing
over speakers]

- * Rock

*

- Hey, Glenn.

What's up, big guy?

So, Glenn, um, I was
talking to Kristen earlier.

- Mm-hmm?

- And--if it's okay with you--

I was thinking about
maybe asking her out.

- You and my little girl?

I love it!

- Really?

B--because some people
thought it

might actually be a bad idea.

- You know, Glenn,

it's totally appropriate

to say no if you want to.

- "No"?
Are you kidding me?

In fact, if you don't go
and ask her out right now,

I am gonna kill myself.

And I know exactly
how many aspirin to take.

- Uh...

awesome, great.
Okay, cool.

I'm gonna--I'm gonna go
find her then, all right?

And no need for anyone to die.

- Okay, will you stop gabbling
and go already?

- All right.
I'll catch you later, brother.

Not brother brother--
you know what I meant.

All right.

- This is a disaster.

- Why didn't you just say no?

- I can't be the bad guy.

The last time I meddled
in Kristen's love life,

she didn't talk to me
for a week.

Can you talk to her?

- What--[stammers]

- Come on, you are so good
at being the bad guy.

- What?
I'm not the bad guy.

I'm the fun good guy.

- Okay.

.

[playful music]

- Hey, Kristen.

- Mm--mm.

[muffled]
Pretzel.

- Oh, sorry.

- [muffled]
Sorry, it's really dry.

- Okay, I'll just start.

Um, so, uh, uh,

you and Jonah.

Seems like you guys
are really hitting it off.

- Yeah, we are.

- Yeah, I--I don't--
I don't know about that.

- Wait, why?

He seems nice.

- Uh, yeah.

Yeah, sure, but, uh,

trust me, there is--
there is baggage there.

Like, um,

he talks way too much
about cheese.

And you don't want that.

- The last guy I dated
stole all my jewelry.

- [soft laugh]
Yeah.

Uh, well, it's not--
it's not just cheese.

He's got other stuff.

Like--like--he--
like he has this

list of French films
that he says he's gonna watch,

and he never will.

- You know, honestly, I mean,

none of that
seems that bad to me.

- Great.
Cool.

Well, I just--I just
wanted to make sure

that you were aware
of the--

the cheese and the--
the films.

And the meth.

- Wait, the meth?

- Yeah.

Crystal meth,
he smokes a ton of it.

Is that--
is that a deal-breaker?

- Kinda.

- Oh.

Darn.

Probably should have
led with that.

- Does anyone even
like black licorice?

- Yeah, other than that,
this is a foolproof plan.

- Thanks.

Now, who does the best
toddler calls?

[high-pitched voice]
Attention baby shoppers.

There is free candy
in toy department.

Come on, little babies.

Come get the candy.

[babbling]

- Stop, stop, man...
- What?

- It's not working.

- What you--you try it.

- Hey, baby.

Come get this candy.

- Come on.

[Hall & Oates' "Rich Girl"
playing]

- * And you've gone too far

* 'Cause you know it don't
matter anyway *

- * Rich girl

- * You can rely
on the old... *

- Ah, your tiny arms
are perfect for cleaning.

[soft laugh]
I'm jealous.

I mean, not really.

I would look so dumb
with arms like yours.

- What's this?

- Oh, my God, my key chain.

I was looking for these.

[sighs]

Jeff gave this to me
on Valentine's Day

'cause I'm always
losing my keys.

And then we DTR'd...

defined the relationship.

- Who's Jeff?

- Nobody.
It's none of your business.

But if you must know,
he's my ex.

He's also a district manager,
so he's kind of a big deal.

- And you guys
aren't friends anymore?

- Oh, honey...
[soft laugh]

Let me tell you a story
about a man named Jeff

and why you shouldn't
date white guys.

- Hey.

I'm supposed to be in Pharmacy,

but I need to switch.

- Why?

- Well, with my
raging drug addiction,

I probably shouldn't
be near cough syrup.

- Okay, um,
let me start by saying

I did not want to get involved.

- Really?
Because you got involved.

In a real weird way.

- Yes.
I did.

But the truth is,
is that Glenn

does not want you
dating Kristen.

- He said he was fine with it.

- Yes.
He said that.

And then as soon as
you walked away,

he said he wasn't.

- [sighs]

- Jonah, why would you
go down this road?

There are plenty of other women.

Not here, but...

you know what I mean.

[Mr. Mister's "Kyrie" playing
over speakers]

- Kyrie Eleison down the road
that I must travel

Kyrie Eleison through
the darkness of the...

[drill whirring]

- Hey, uh, can I, uh,

can I talk to you for a second?

- Me or Timur?

Uh, we're actually--

we're both pretty
slammed right now, so maybe...

- Glenn, if--if you don't

want me to date Kristen--

[drill whirring]

Glenn?
- Mm-hmm?

- Can--can you--
can you turn off the--

- I can't hear you!

- The--the drill?
Could you turn off the drill?

- Huh?
- The drill, right here?

Amy told me the truth.

- Yeah?
Well, I--

I wouldn't necessarily
believe everything Amy says,

if you know what I mean.

- No, I have no idea
what you mean.

Why would she make that up?

- Maybe she has a crush on you
and she's jealous.

I mean, it's obvious, right?

- Amy?

Are we talking about
the same Amy?

- I don't know.
[stammers]

I'm sorry,
I gotta get these squirrels.

I got so many squirrels, Jonah.

- Let--
[drill whirring]

[drill grating]

[whirring]

- Okay.
Thank you.

- Don't look at me like that.

["I'm Free"
playing over speakers]

- I'm free
to do what I want

Any old time

- Okay, everybody is
saying something different,

so none of us
are gonna leave here

until we figure out
what the hell is going on.

- Dad, did you tell Amy to stop
me from going out with Jonah?

- What? No.

- Amy, is that true?

- Uh-huh.

- Then w--why
did you say he did?

- I--[exhales]

I--

I don't have
a good answer for that.

- Because Glenn
said it was because

you're jealous
and you have a crush on me.

- I don't--Glenn.

- Well, that's what
you told me, remember?

You said you were
in love with Jonah.

You couldn't stop saying it.

- I did not say that.

I would never say that.

He's lying.

- She's lying.

She's a sassy little liar.

Yeah, blonde hair?
Yeah right.

Her whole head's a lie.

- Glenn, everyone knows
I dyed my hair...

- Okay, enough, enough, enough!
Dad.

Look, just tell me the truth.

Are you really meddling again?

It's like your doing everything
you can to push me away.

- Well, I g--

honey, I love you so much...

- Glenn had nothing
to do with it.

- Really?

- I made up all
of that stuff about Jonah

because...

I am jealous.

- But Papa Glenn said--

- Timur, shut your cake hole!
You're being rude.

- I have a little crush on Jonah

so I made up
all of those lies.

Glenn is right;
I am a sassy little liar,

and I am very sorry.

- You think you know people,
huh?

- It's like you can
want something so badly,

but, you know, sometimes
love just isn't enough.

Sorry.
[soft laugh]

I forget you're children.

Your simple minds
can't imagine what it's like

to have everything
you care about

just taken away from you.

- One time my mom
got a new boyfriend

and they left me at PetSmart.

- Okay.
[clears throat]

Only Leo knows
what I'm going through.

- There are four Jeffs
in my class.

- Okay, dummy.

There are a lot of Jeffs.

But...you're right.

There are other Jeffs out there.

[exhales]

Out of the mouths of babes.

- [exhales]

I think we already
looked down this aisle.

- She could be
literally anywhere.

- You really think
she can fit in there?

- No, I'm thinking about
buying a new canteen.

I lost my old one.

- I can't believe
I lost Glenn's child.

Everyone told me
I was too young to have a kid

and this proves it.

- Will all Sturgis children

please make their way to Music?

It's family photo time.

- What am I gonna do?

Do--do I give him Harmonica?

- She is younger.

That's kind of
a better deal actually.

[plastic rumbling]

[gentle upbeat music]

- [gasps]
Oh, my God!

Bobbie Sue!

Oh!
I knew--I knew we'd find you!

Yes, oh!

- Well, technically,
I found her.

It was my trap.

- Just let her have this one.

- It was my trap, though.

- Nine, ten--get your stuff.

Uh, ten, 11, 12...

- Here's Bobbie Sue.

- Hey.
- I definitely didn't lose her.

Okay, bye.

- Oh--okay.

Has everyone got their stuff?
Okay. All right.

- So is Jerusha
a big "Lord of the Rings" fan?

- Uh, no, this is "Willow."

What's "Lord of the Rings"?

- Okay, guys, on three.

One...

- I should tell you, I'm giving
Myrtle a ride home later.

I just--I don't
want you to fight her.

I know you hate seeing me
with other women.

- I didn't press the button.
Hold on.

- I know you were
covering for Glenn.

- [sighs] Thank God.

I mean, no offense,
but ew.

- Uhh, nope.
That wasn't good.

I got half of you in the frame,

and the other half are--
are out.

So that--that's my fault.

- Hey, Jonah, why don't
you come in for one?

You know, just in case
you wind up joining the family.

- Um, sure.

Seems wildly premature,
but why not?

[gentle music]

Okay.
- Come here.

- [inhales sharply]

- Wow, good thing
you already look like an elf.

- So Jonah and
Glenn's daughter, huh?

- Yeah.

- What, what are you
laughing at?

Don't tell her.

- Okay, guys, on three,
say "Jerusha."

One.

Two.

- If you hurt her,

I will murder you in real life
until you're dead.

- Three!

all: Jerusha!

- Ah, no.
- No?

- Mm-mm.
That's on me.