All language subtitles for Superstore.S02E17.WEBRip.x264-ION10_English

.

- Roach situation in
the break room is getting worse.

So clean up your crumbs,
and Heather,

stop hording yogurt lids
in your locker.

You're not gonna win
that free cruise.

- On to something more important
than a bunch of dumb bugs.

Who's excited about
awards season?

- Um, Glenn,
the Oscars were last month.

I know that,
because we had that Oscar pool.

Wait, who won that again?

[indistinct grumbling]
- I believe that was you.

- Oh, yeah, that was me.

It's all about
the technical categories.

- Yep, you said that.
- Forget about the Oscars.

I am talking about the new
Cloud 9 Integrity Awards.

I know, right?
So cool.

The winner from each store
gets an unframed certificate,

and attends a luncheon
with an all-you-can-eat buffet.

- Wait, hold on.
So you go through the buffet,

and fill your plate once,
and that's all you get?

- No, it's all-you-can-eat.

Anyway, uh, the recommendation
forms are here, and--

which Brett will be happy
to help you with--

in case you think of
someone you work with,

or maybe work for,

who you think has shown
integrity in the workplace.

- You can't push yourself
for an award.

- Me? I don't even know
if managers are eligible.

- Oh, yeah,
they're probably not.

- Well, I know they are,
because I checked, so...

- Oh, I see,
so it's all you can eat

on your one trip to the buffet.

- No, you're--
you're not getting it.

It--it's multiple trips.
That--that's the beauty of it.

- Well,
I'm probably not eligible,

since I'm dating Jeff.

You know, I wouldn't want to add
more drama to the scandal,

or add gasoline
to the fire, right?

[laughs]
You were all so interested

when you thought
Sandra was dating Jeff.

- Yeah, it just feels
kinda done now.

- Yeah.

- What size plate
do you have to bring with you?

- They have plates there.

[upbeat music]

*

- So Jeff's
kind of a bigwig, huh?

I heard when he drives
somewhere,

Cloud 9 pays for his gas.

- Oh, well, they pay
for his haircuts too, so...

- That's awesome.
- Hm.

- Uh, anyway, you know,
I put in six requests

for an exterminator
for that roach problem,

and then it occurred to me,

maybe Jeff could help
grease the wheels.

- You want me to talk to Jeff?

[sighs]
I don't know, Dina, it's...

- Oh, sorry.

I just thought
he was really into you.

- He is.
[scoffs]

He's obsessed with me.

I'm all, "What do you wanna
have for dinner?"

He's like,
"Mateo, I'm obsessed with you."

- Uh-huh, well,
if you wanna prove it,

why don't you give him a ring?

I mean,
if he's obsessed with you.

- Mm-hmm.

- The primary circuit
supplies the secondary portion

of the valve with air.
[valve hisses]

Pump the brakes to demonstrate.
[air hisses]

- What you doing?
- Um, I am making a delivery.

- Since when do you make
deliveries?

- Uh--[scoffs]
Since I realized

we don't have any female
truck drivers in 2017.

[gears grind]

Okay,
I'm helping my parents move.

- Ah...
- They forgot to rent a truck,

and they have to be
out of their house today.

[gears grind]

- Uh...
[laughs]

Okay, if you need some help,

I actually know
how to drive stick.

I thought it would be something
that would impress women.

It does not.

- Uh, nope, I'm fine.
Thank you.

- All right.
[gears grinding]

Yeah, you got this.
[air hisses]

- Okay, fine, you can help.
- Aww...

enough with the gratitude.
- [sighs]

- Okay, hitting the road.

No limits, no rules.

I like to be
right up on the wheel.

- Hey, Glenn.
- Hey.

- Would it be okay
if I recommended you

for the Integrity Award?

- [laughs]
What? Me?

Huh?
[snorts]

You--are you sure?

- Yeah, you're such a good guy.

But if you're
uncomfortable with it--

- No, no. Do it, do it.
- Okay...

well, I'm gonna put it
in the ballot box.

- Yeah, okay.
Whatever you decide, you know.

My middle name's Phillip

- Okay.

- I would like
44 crab legs, please.

- * You were my lover

* But you act so undercover

* Love your child
my whole life long *

- I'm sorry, if I show you
special treatment,

people are going to
start asking questions.

There's nothing I can do.
I gotta go.

- Was that Jeff?

- Yeah, I asked him about
the exterminator, and--

- I knew it.
As the internet would say,

"you can no haz cheeseburger."
Forget it.

- No, no, he, um--
[clears throat]

Is sending somebody
right away.

I told you,
he's obsessed with me.

- Oh, you really need to
work on your good news voice.

I have a series of tapes
I can lend you.

They're very helpful.

For example...
[clears throat]

"Grandma's alive!"
No, no, hold on.

"Grandma's alive!"

No, that's not
sounding right either.

I'll find it.
It's just...

news I would never be happy
to give.

- Hey, Sandra.

Hey, how was your vacation?

- I didn't take one.
- No, I meant last year,

when I gave you that week off
to go to Atlantic City.

- Oh...
- Don't worry about it.

So who you nominating?

- You.
- [snorts] What? Me?

No--Sandra, that's so--
[imitates explosion]

You know, that is
so out of leftfield.

- Watch out! Watch out!

Move, move
Coming through, coming through.

- What's going on?

- Found this dog outside--
stuck in the snow.

- Oh, my God, is he okay?
- Yeah, he's gonna be fine.

I just need to
warm him up quick.

Hey, Tim, go grab
one of those dog baths,

bring him to the men's room.

Heather, grab some hairdryers,
blankets, and towels.

Come on, little buddy.
I got you.

- Thank God Garrett was there.
- Yeah.

- Talk about integrity.

- Uh, I--I don't--I don't think
you're allowed to erase.

- I'm so excited
to meet the parents.

Trying to decide
if I should ask my questions

in chronological order
from birth,

or by degree of embarrassment.

- Oh, Jonah,
so sweet, so dumb.

Do you actually think
I'd bring you along

if my parents were here?

They're in the new place.
We're just getting boxes.

- Hey, princess.

We're a little behind schedule.

- A little?
- Hi, I'm Jonah,

and I have a lot of questions.

- Why aren't you guys packed?

- It's an emotional process.

Amelia,
you made this in preschool.

- Amelia?
- Uh, stay in your lane.

- I'm already packed.

Took me two minutes
to box up everything I own.

- Let's see.
Uh, this is mostly socks,

a toothbrush, and a banana.

- I keep it simple.
What else do I need?

- I don't know,
maybe your heart medicine,

so that your body
doesn't reject your new valve?

- Yep.

- Look, I'm gonna need to stay.
Can you Uber back?

- Oh, n-n-no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

This is where I need to be,
Amelia...

- You know what, Connie?

Let's start with
those photo albums.

What do ya say?

- Sit.
- Okay.

- All right,
now I'm gonna give you one more,

'cause I'm looking out
for your sodium.

Here you go.
- Hey, Garrett.

Hey there, little guy.
How's your--

[dog growls]

- Oh, he thinks you're trying
to steal his nacho.

- Oh...

I'm not.

Anyway, good for you
for finding him.

You probably saved his life.

Hm, who saw that coming?

I didn't.

- Eh, you know,
it wasn't that big a deal.

- You might even win the award.

How crazy would that be?
Garrett, Integrity Award winner.

- Look, I know how much
you want the award.

- Whoa!
That's quite a leap.

- Well, on the off chance
that I'm right,

why don't we do this?

Attention, Cloud 9 employees,

do not recommend me
for the Integrity Award.

If you would like to reward me
for rescuing a dog,

feel free to bring baked goods
by Customer Service,

preferably homemade.

- Thank you.

- And no lemon squares,
or anything with oatmeal.

Save that crap for somebody
who did not rescue a dog.

- My cousin's actually
an exterminator up in Davenport.

Name's Rob.
You know him?

- Uh-uh.
- Eh, worth a shot.

Would've been cool.

All right, everyone out.

Break room is officially closed
for fumigation.

This stuff is highly toxic.

Sandra, stay or go.
I really don't care.

All right, bug man,
room is yours.

Go to town.

- [gasps]

Oh, okay, NBD.

Just a few roachies.

[gasps, screams]

[clears throat]
I mean, ah.

Come at me, bro.

- Oh...

she said the other kids
were wearing capes at school.

Then I picked her up one day.
Nope.

- Okay, Mom, I was coping
with Grandpa dying in my arms.

And you know what,
why don't you guys get packing?

If you wanna chit-chat,
exchange numbers.

- Already Facebook friends.
- [giggles]

- So next we have...

oh, naked Amy.
- Mom...

- Please,
you were three years old.

- Don't worry,
I only saw up-top stuff--

nothing south of the border.

- Kay,
you're not making it better.

- Oh, I didn't mean that
in, like, a Latino way.

- Hey, Dad, you know,
Jonah is a real art lover.

- Oh.
- Oh, really?

Powerful, aren't they?

- Yeah...
yeah, yeah,

you have a--a real eye
for composition.

- They're celebrities.

- Yeah.
Yeah, I caught that.

- I knew you'd appreciate them.

- Yeah...
- Pick your favorite one.

- Oh, me? No, no, no.
Come on, I couldn't.

- No, no, no, I insist.

I don't have room for them
anyway in the new place.

- Oh, okay, thanks.

Um, yeah, I'll--I'll take,
you know, Putin.

- Why?
- Well, I--

that's just because--I mean,
I--I'll take any of them.

- No, no, no, no, fine.
You want Putin, take him.

- Thank you.
This, uh--this mean a lot.

- Let's say, um--
$30 sound fair?

- Yeah--yeah, $30's--$30's cool.

$30's good.
Yeah.

- Hey, Cheyenne.

I was just reading
your recommendation.

It is so nice.

- Oh, thanks.

- But three sentences?

Can I really be summed up
in three sentences?

- Oh, should it be longer?

- Well...

I'm just wondering if we could
up the wow factor.

I mean, it's not about
making it longer.

It's about making it better
and longer.

- So do you want me
to write another one?

- I think you want you
to write another one.

That's what I'm hearing.
- Oh, okay.

I'll do it as soon as I'm done
with this customer.

- Oh, I'll take over,

so--so you can get to it
while it's fresh in your head.

- What is?
- I can't wait to find out.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Hi.

Are you ready to be
your best self?

[cheery music]

*

- Okay.

*

[bug bomb hisses softly]

That's it?

[upbeat pop music]

*

- Hey, there you are.

The exterminator was here.
You just missed him.

- Oh, yeah, I saw him.
Really skinny guy.

- Huh, I didn't think so.

- Well, you can't tell
in a jumpsuit.

- Anyway, thanks for
making Jeff send him.

Sure.
I'm a good man to know,

so let me know
if you need anything else.

- Cool.
Well, I'd love to get

the bulbs changed
in the parking lights.

Kitchen needs to be re-grouted.

Utility room's a mess.
- Okay...

seems like a lot to ask
all at once.

- Come on now, you just need to
make it worth his while, right?

Bedroom-wise? Kitchen-wise?
Dungeon-wise?

Whatever it is you guys do.

This would just
really help me out.

- Okay, sure, no problem.
- Great.

Let me know if you need
any good sex moves.

- Nope, I'm good.
[laughs]

- You're gonna wanna take
his whole mess of parts,

and just twist 'em up fast,
okay?

Like a--like a windup toy.

Uh, pretend it's a jar
of pickles that won't open.

Excuse you,
this is a private conversation.

- Okay someone's ready
for the dance.

- Hi, boy!
Hi.

I was looking
everywhere for him.

[laughs]
Aww, hi, boy.

- Oh, what's going on here?

- Garrett didn't just
find a dog.

He found a veteran's dog.

- Thank you.
You're a hero.

- Oh, no, sir, thank you.
You're the real hero here.

- You are.
- Well, okay, I'll take it.

[applause]

- Maybe we all are.

All of us are heroes.

- Connie,
you have more necklaces

made out of coins
than I have ever seen.

Until now,
the record was zero.

- [sighs] I'm hungry.

Connie, I'm hungry.

- Okay, I will order pizza,

and we will keep packing
until it gets here.

- Pizza?

This is our last meal
in this house.

We can't just eat junk
out of a cardboard box?

- I mean, we could.
- I'll make tamales.

- Ooh, that sounds good...
- Oh, yeah.

- But so does pizza.

- Mom,
we don't have twelve hours

for you to make tamales.
- I'll hurry.

I just have to
find that steamer.

- Mom, please, no.
Don't--do not open that--

I just packed--

I can't.

- Jonah, I'm feeling like $30
was a little low.

[cheery music]

- So all of us at corporate
would like to congratulate you

on some find work today.
Really impressive.

- Ah, just doing what I do.

Plus, my manager, Glenn Sturgis,
set such a great example for me.

- Right,
but you're the one who saved

the life of a war hero's dog.

I mean, that deserves
recognition.

- Well, hold on.

I think you mean
allegedly saved a life

of an alleged dog.
- It was definitely a dog.

- And who knows if that guy
was even a real war hero.

Maybe he was one
of those veterans

that, you know, shot up
a village of innocent people.

Lot of folks snap
under the fog of war.

- [whispers]
What are you doing?

- Um, well...[stammers]
I'm not sure how--

- Garrett just called you
a bad name,

and now he's giving you
the finger

- Attention, Cloud 9 employees,

I am now accepting
recommendations

for the Integrity Award,

not because I care,
but largely out of spite.

[knock at door]

- Hey, uh, so I'm not
exactly sure what this means,

but your mom said,
"You better come down.

You're not too big
to get the chancla"?

- She's threatening
to throw her sandal at me.

Why?
Did she have it out?

- Wait,
is this your childhood bedroom?

- Yeah, take in all the glory.

- So this is where it all began
for young Amelia.

[laughs]
Lets see here.

Oh, not one, but two, three...

six pictures of Scott Wolf.

- Yeah, I was part
of the Wolf Pack.

- Hey, is this--
Is this "Rent"?

I never pictured you as a--
a theater nerd.

I was one too.

- Yeah, that's exactly
how I pictured you.

- Oh! And I was on
the debate team as well.

I feel like
if we went to school together,

we would've been friends.

- Um, I'd like to think not,
but, yeah, probably.

- This was not just a crush...

there's a darkness here.

*

[glass shatters]

- Okay.

- I think it's, like,
the longest thing

I've ever written.

First time I wrote
"opportunity."

That word's nuts.

- Yeah, well, I--
I think we're getting there.

But I still think we need, like,
a big story here.

Like,
what is my dog-in-the-snow?

- Oh, remember that one time

that you stopped
that shopping cart

from smashing into aisle six?

- Yeah, like that,

but what if
aisle six was a baby,

and the shopping cart was,
like, an axe murderer?

- So you want me to lie
to get you an Integrity Award?

- What I'm hearing is that
you want you to lie

to get me an Integrity Award.

[rock music]

- * Don't know what you got

* Till it's gone

- But the worst part
about the chanclas

is if you duck the first one...

[together]
There's another one.

- Exactly.
[knock at door]

- Right.
- Hon,

would you like
two or three tamales?

What the hell are you doing
with my daughter?

- Whoa, whoa.
- I'll kill you.

- No, no, no, no, no, sir.
No, not--it's not--

- I'm kidding.
Look at him freaking out.

- It's still hilarious, Dad.
- Your cousins are downstairs.

Steven's girlfriend
is very loud.

- I told you.

- I'm going to the store
to get some ice.

- No, Dad, we don't need ice.
We need you to pack your stuff.

This is never gonna get done.

I'm so sick of having to do
everything for them.

- Then don't.

- Come on.
- No, I-I-I mean it.

What--what would happen
if you just left right now?

- Then I would be the one

who had to deal
with the consequences.

- No, you would be the one

who decided to deal
with the consequences,

instead of just
letting them deal with it.

I'm just saying,
it's not your responsibility

to make sure that
everything goes well

for everybody else.

- Yeah.

You're right.

They're grownups.
They'll figure it out.

Okay.
Great, let's get out of here.

- Okay, let's go.

Oh, like tha--
Oh, like, out that way?

- Oh, yeah, I'm not dealing
with my cousins.

It's like non-stop
Dr. Evil impressions.

- Excuse me, do you have
anymore bug bombs in back?

There's only one left,
and I have to do my whole house.

- Oh...[laughs]
One's all you need for a house.

Three of them would fill
a Scottrade Center.

[cheery music]

[cheery music]

- You really schlonged me
with this whole dog scam.

- Well, that's a low blow.

But since I'm a man of...
[clears throat]

Integrity,
I'm gonna let it slide.

- Why are you doing this?

You don't even care
about this award.

- Why do you assume
that I don't care?

One time I do a good deed,
I'd like a little recognition.

I like plaques.
I got walls.

- Are you crying?
- Yeah! I got feelings, too,

although not such
strong feelings

that I should be crying.
That's weird.

[sniffles]

- Okay, this is our store today.

Here's where I'd like to see it
in three months.

Fresh coat of paint,
advanced security system.

You can tell Jeff
whatever they have

at the Tel Aviv airport
will be fine.

Now here's where I'd like
to see it in three years.

- Enough!
I'm not your slave, okay?

Uh, I mean, Jeff's not.
[coughing]

Jeff's--Jeff's not gonna do
any of those.

- [coughs]
What is going on?

[both coughing]

Oh, that's not great.

both: * In daylight,
in sunsets *

* In midnights,
in cups of coffee *

- * In inches, in miles
- * In inches, in smiles

- * In laughter, in strife
- Smiles and strife.

- [crying] I'm sorry.
I just feel terrible.

- [crying] I feel sick.
I feel sick.

- Yeah, as boys, we're told
to keep our feelings inside.

But this is good.

I'm crying,
you're crying.

[sniffs]
And--

And my nose is bleeding,
and your nose is bleeding.

- What? Oh.

[alarm ringing]
- Code Orange.

This is a Code Orange
toxic event.

Everyone evacuate the building.

[all coughing, clamoring]

both: * How do you measure,
measure a year? *

- Whoa, what is going on?

- I don't know,
but looks like kind of a mess.

- You know, they're adults.

I'm sure they can handle it.
Whatever it is.

- You know,
we never did get lunch.

- Gotta eat.

[alarm continues blaring]

*

- Oh, no, not here, sir.

We have a--

[camera shutter clicks]

- What percentage oxygen
you using?

Standard 80?

Yeah.

[indistinct chatter]

- So some moron
decided to set off

ten industrial-sized bug bombs
in your break room.

- Oh, I'm sure
he was just trying to help.

Or she!
Whoever it is.

- Hey, so, uh,
early dinner tonight?

- What are you doing?
- Huh? Oh, it's fine.

I--I came clean.

I mean, the secret
was just inflaming my ulcer.

- And they're okay with it?
- Yeah, it's fine.

It's--it's basically fine.

You need to transfer
to a different store.

- Transfer?

Oh.

- Why can't I just have a car?

- I don't know.
You just can't.

- No, see, the thing is
"Party of Five"

showcased his boyish appeal,
but it made it harder for him

to get darker,
more adult roles.

- I wonder what he's doing now.

- He married Kelly from
"The Real World: New Orleans."

They live in Park City
with their three kids.

- Whose names are...

- [laughs]
How would I know?

Jackson, Miller,
and Lucy.

[both laugh]
[phone vibrating]

Okay,
so who was your '90s crush?

- Alyssa Jayne Milano was born
in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn...

- Of course it was
Alyssa Jayne Milano!

- In 1972.