All language subtitles for Superstore.S02E12.WEBRip.x264-ION10_English

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narrator: What does it mean
to change?

To embrace progress?

To transform?

Cloud 9 is pleased to announce
that our in-store brand "Halo"

has now become "SuperCloud."

A new day has dawned.

- All right, there you have it.

So it's a big day today.

We start our rebranding.

- Does rebranding mean

they're redesigning the store?

- No, we'll be taking our
in-store product "Halo"

and changing it
to "SuperCloud."

- And how are they different?

- That, uh, what I just said.

It used to be called "Halo."

Now it's called SuperCloud.

- Oh.
- Maybe I'm not, um, selling

the excitement
of what's happening today.

Let's see if this helps.

["Get Ready for This" by
2 Unlimited plays]

*

- * Y'all ready for this?

*

[upbeat music]

*

[electronic music]

- Wow, that song is a little
longer than I thought.

What was that, 11 minutes?
All right, anyway--

- 12.
- 12? Sorry about that.

Uh, moving on, we have buttons

for everybody to wear today,

and there's a VP coming in
to oversee this rollout.

- A VP of corporate?

I'm gonna need to borrow
somebody's lipstick.

Not Amy's--way too slutty.

- Who's that lady?

- Oh, that's Kelsey,
from Cloud 9.

She's the new SuperCloud mascot.

- Why is a smiling white lady

always the mascot?
'Cause in my experience,

usually they're, like,
the first to snap.

- She's not wrong.
- I personally blame

all the yogurt white ladies eat.

- Why didn't they make it
a superhero?

You know,
'cause SuperCloud?

And it could have, like,
a cape or something,

and, like, little cloud muscles.

- Yeah, wow, that's...

Clean, it's simple,
it's visual, that--

is probably what
it should've been. Damn.

So all right,
let's just move on.

Here are some words

we'd like you guys to pepper in
to the conversation today

whenever SuperCloud comes up,
obviously, so "cool,"

"millennial,"
"on fleek..."

Have to go back to
the superhero mascot,

I'm so sorry,
that's just a home run.

- Yeah, and he could be
saving people with savings.

- [Bleep], that's good.

- Oh, excuse me.
- Yeah?

- Where is the Halo
toilet paper?

I could only find this stuff.

- Yeah, this is
our new product line:

the SuperCloud, and
I have been ordered to tell you

how excited I am about it.

- But I like Halo.

- Right, well, apologies,
but we've actually shifted

completely to SuperCloud.

- This is not a good time
in my life for this.

Rachel just broke up with me.

- I don't know who that is.

- I thought I knew
who she was.

- You know,
I gotta tell ya...

- Ooh, look out, ladies.

Here comes a stylish dude.

- Yeah, somehow he makes
baldness look cute.

- Hey, I'm not talking
about Jeff.

I'm talking about the other guy.

- Yeah, obvs. I was kidding.

Jeff is like the ugliest guy
in the world.

So busted.

Like stretched-out
Danny DeVito.

- Hey, guys, excuse me.

I want you to meet Rex Joshi.
He's in from the main office.

- Hey, call me Mr. Joshi.
Pleasure to meet you.

So good to meet you.
So good to meet you guys.

Let me tell you something:
we are so excited

about this SuperCloud.

We think it's going straight up
a-to the sky.

So who's gonna help me
get out there

and make this rollout huge?

Big success.
Who's with me?

- You have a lot
of hand gestures.

Always doing something
with those hands.

- You betcha.
- Oh, okay.

One of those.
- Pshew.

One more time.
Stick shift.

[laughs]
We could do that all day.

- Hey, sorry to interrupt, guys,

but these boxes really need to
be uniform.

Thank you, sorry, I just gotta
stay on top of them.

- Yeah, I'll make sure
they fix it.

- Please do.

You are management,

so you're most at fault here.

Okay, let's head over
to Sporting Goods, Rex.

- Sure, yeah.
- Make sure things are in order.

- Ooh, that was cold.

- Um, have you decided
who you're gonna

take this out on later?
'Cause last week it was me--

- Elias!

That is not how
you climb a ladder,

you [bleep] turd!

- Hey, Cheyenne, can you
go wake up this lady

that fell asleep
in Electronics?

Last time I tried something
like that,

I got punched
in the beans.

- Um, can I just buy some of
this discounted Halo stuff

for my baby first?

It's normally so expensive

I can barely afford
her eye shadow.

- Okay, but you know
you're not supposed to

buy things while
you're clocked in, right?

- Well, can I set it aside
for later before it sells out?

- Not supposed to but--

Okay, I'm sorry, no.

You'll have to do it
when your shift's over.

- No, I-I'm telling you,
they--

they feel exactly the same

because they are
exactly the same.

- Well, let me at least
try your belly.

- I'm not gonna--

Fine, but
just be careful.

I'm ticklish.
- Um, everything okay over here?

- Keep moving,
I'm a Cloud Club Rewards Member.

It's not a big deal.
- Jonah?

- Rex?
- Wait, I'm sorry, you know him?

- Yeah, we went to business
school together.

- Dude, what the hell
are you doing here?

- Could you pull that up
a little bit higher?

- Anyway,
I just started driving, and--

and then I saw that
they were hiring here.

- That's--that's great.
- Yeah.

- Wow, I wouldn't
have guessed that.

I would've figured you were
one of those guys who are on

a voyage of self-discovery.
- Oh.

- You know, backpacking through
Asia, rolling cigars in Cuba.

- Or, as Jonah would say,
"Coo-ba."

- He does that?
- Yeah.

[laughter]

- Should I be embarrassed
that I pronounce it the way

native Coo-banos do, or--?
- You should.

- Okay.
- Iceman.

I mean, look at you, man.
It has been too long.

- I'm sorry, we're gonna need to
take it back to "Iceman"?

- Yeah, that was
my nickname in school.

They, uh, you know, ice in the
veins, cool and collected.

- It's because you were
always cold in class.

You had that afghan.
- That was a blazer.

That was a knit blazer.
- Oh, my God.

You're Iceman.
- I'm gonna hear this again,

aren't I?
- Yes, Iceman, you are, Iceman.

- "You're the manager, so
you're the most at fault here."

- That guy really sucks.
- Total asshat, right?

- I hate his little eyes.
- I hate his stupid face.

- I literally hope he dies.

- What?

- Yeah, I--I hope he does.
I hope he dies.

I really hope he dies.

Just dead.

- Our team formulated a plan
that featured WOM marketing,

message-sending, and,
of course, fluid branding...

- Oh, my God, this is amazing.

Look at that little suit.

It's like his bar mitzvah.
- Aww.

- It looks like a normal-size
suit to me.

- All those words,
and you said absolutely nothing.

- Oh, Rex, thank you
for giving us this gift.

- Okay, I think
we've seen enough.

- Ah!

[light music]

*

- I need to pull off
the veil of secrecy.

- What are you doing?
What is that?

Is that something
you've practiced?

- Just a couple times in the
mirror, don't worry about it.

Okay, listen.
I know you're really

stressed out, but, okay,
this isn't you, okay?

People are starting to complain.
- Who?

- Just, people, okay?

Dina didn't like the way

you talked to her
in front of everybody.

She called you an asshat.
- An asshat?

Well, that's hurtful.

Uh, but I will try
to do better.

- And just since the
veil of secrecy is off,

I feel like you've been
mentioning your ex-boyfriend

a little too much.

Not the time.

Got it.

Veil on.

I love that you and
Chad are still close.

- Direct WOM management
and indirect WOM management...

- Garrett, can you
please formulate

a global strategy to fold

the yoga pants in Softline?

- I will fold them along

multiple distribution channels.

- Very clever. So great to
reconnect with you, Rex.

You know what?
Blech, that's kind of

a boring topic, unless...

You rap about it.

- [gasps]

- [beatboxing]

[all protesting]

- Jonah!
- Okay, party's over.

- I love hip-hop.

- Hey, at least now,
when you go back,

you know what not to do.

- What do you mean,
"go back"?

- When he goes back to school.

Your enrollment's still active.

- Yeah, they said I could defer
for two years, so...

- But you're not actually
planning on going back,

are you?

- I mean, I hadn't given it
much thought.

I mean, I--
I was not happy there,

so, but you know.
I'm not sure.

- That's not a no, Jonah!

That's not a no!

- Nice job with
this area, everyone.

Good job managing, Dina.

- Thank you, Jeff.

- Oh, also, uh, sorry if I've
been a little bit harsh lately,

but if anybody has
a problem with me,

I prefer they say it to my face
than call me an asshat

behind my back.

Good job with this area.

- [chuckles]

Well, it seems we've got
a rat in the store.

I'm not mad.
I'm not upset.

I'll allow myself to feel
those things after

I've hunted down and torn apart
whatever little weasel

tattled on me to Jeff.

Does anyone else hear that?

It's like
a high-pitched ringing.

[knocking]

- Hey, you, uh,
wanted to see me?

- Yeah, please, have a seat.

I was reviewing my files,

and I noticed
there was something wrong

with your contract,

so you need to sign a new one.

Just standard boilerplate,

you don't really
need to read it.

- "The undersigned agrees
to work exclusively at Cloud 9

for the next 30 years"?

- [mutters weakly]

- This is very flattering,
but I obviously can't sign that.

- Okay, well,

that's, uh, disappointing.

What is it that you want?
Is it--is it money?

- No.
- 'Cause there's no money

left in the budget,
but I could fire someone.

- Glenn.
- Maybe Larry.

- You don't need to fire Larry.
- Oh, God,

the poor man has lupus.

- It's not about--

- No, no, I'll do it.
He's gone.

- Glenn, look, I'm not
going anywhere anytime soon,

but I can't promise that
it's never gonna happen.

- Well, then, you're fired.

- What?

- Of course you're not fired.
I love you!

- Okay, well, thank you.

- Do you love me?

- I'm sorry?

- Hey, we need to talk.
- [chuckles]

I know, right?
[clears throat]

What's going on, girl?

- No, not a gay talk.

We need to talk about
who the snitch is.

Now, it had to be somebody
in that room, but who?

Okay, it couldn't have
been Ramona,

her husband doesn't let her
talk to other men.

Wasn't Tim, his jaw's
still wired shut,

after talking to Ramona.

I know it wasn't me.

So that just leaves

Justine, Elias,
Sandra, you, uh--

- [gasps]
- What?

- You know how I hate to gossip,
but I was out back last week,

and I saw Jeff
making out with...Sandra.

- Sandra?
- Yeah, man on woman.

It was disgusting.

- Oh, my God,
it was Sandra.

Oh, I am gonna drop-kick
that bitch back into whatever

volcano she crawled out of--

- Wait, um,
wouldn't it be worse

if we didn't even tell her
that we know,

just ice her out,

never talk to her again
and don't tell her why?

It's pretty much the meanest
thing you can do to someone.

- I don't know.
I didn't have

a single friend in high school,
and I loved it there.

- Yeah, but,

Sandra's not
as strong as you.

- You're right.
- Yeah.

- She's the weakest person
I've ever met.

- So, uh,

just had a really weird
convo with Glenn.

Look, um, I don't have
a crystal ball, okay?

I--I don't--
I don't know what's

gonna happen in life,

but I know one thing,

and that is that we

are always gonna be friends.

- Hmm, you say that,

but I don't know
if I can believe you.

- You can.
- No, I--I think that you'll

probably just forget about us.

- No, Amy, I would never
forget about you guys.

You guys are--
are everything to me.

- You're just this little
flicker of sunlight

that brightened our lives
for a short while.

- And now you must
take that light

to someone else,
but it's okay because

a little piece of your magic
lives inside

each and every one of us.

- Okay.
- Be free.

- Forget I said anything.

- No, wait, don't go, please.

Who's gonna force me
to try tahini?

[hip-hop music]

*

- * They say I went from being
a pimp to being a rap mogul *

* They spitting trill rap songs
back on track slow *

* On my rosé sippin'
black bottles on them *

* Up out of San Antone
better get the math real *

* Feel trill, got boys placing
bets on me, big yellin' *

* Got haters even plexin' on me
trying to blast me *

* Blast me, blast me

- Oh, whatcha got there,
Eugene?

- You would not believe

the amount of stuff
that gets misstocked here.

Baby food in the barbeque.

I found shampoo in jeans.

I mean, who would do that?

- I don't know,
probably some jerk

or desperate mom
or whatever.

- Yeah, well, I worked really
hard rounding it all up.

I stayed two hours past
my shift, but I still--

- I'm all out of trophies,
Eugene.

- That's okay.

* Life is fine at Cloud 9

* Life is great--
Hello, sir!

* Work starts at eight

- Two wolves I couldn't do it,
but one wolf...

- Hey, guys.
- I could take it.

- Did anyone watch
"Vampire Diaries" last night?

Damien's really
gotten out of control.

- You stupid slut!
- Dina...

- I can't hold it in any longer.
- What's happening?

- Sandra is having
an affair with Jeff.

- No.
- Oh!

- Don't you deny it!
You were seen kissing

on the loading dock.

- Ooh, Sandra, Sandra, Sandra!

That's crazy, boo!

I didn't know
you had it in you.

Dish, girl.
- I don't think we need

to be talking about that.
- Oh, I got questions,

like, when did it start?

- About two weeks ago.

He pulled me into his Kia,

and he said to me,
"Sandra take out your taters."

[all gasp]

And I did.

And I put them in his face.
[cheering]

- Ooh, yeah!

[exclaiming]

- Hey, sorry about before.

- Oh, that's fine.

I can take a little ribbing.

- Yeah, it went on
for a really long time.

Elias jumped in on it.

He does a really
good impression of you.

It's like
"Greetings, gentlemen."

I can't do it.

- Look, uh, I just

don't want you to think
that I got one foot

out the door, okay?

I--I'm here,

just like everybody else.

- Mm...

not just like
everybody else.

I mean, you can
leave if you want.

- But I'm not.

- But you can.

- But I'm not.
- But you can,

and that's the difference
between being stranded

on a desert island

or going on
a nice tropical vacation.

- You wanna think that,
fine.

I happen to think
it's exactly the same.

- Okay.
- I mean, if you want me

to cancel my deferment,
just say the word.

- Yeah, okay.

Cancel it.
- What?

- If you think there's
honestly no difference,

cancel it.

- Okay, great, yeah.

I will, I'll do it--
I'll do it tonight.

- No time like the present.

- Okay.
I'll do it now.

- Great.
- It makes no difference to me.

I mean, if you need this,
then sure, let's, uh--

I'm just gonna find the number.

It's in an email
so I gotta search for it for--

just hang on one second.

I keep meaning to update
the new OS.

You know what?
I'm gonna just--

I'm gonna do that,
I'm gonna do that

right now, real quickly.

Ugh, "estimated wait time
four hours"?

- Hey, it's okay.

- It's--it's not me.
It's the Wi-Fi.

- Jeff and I have these cute
nicknames for each other.

He calls me "Deliciousness."
- Ooh.

- [laughs]
And I call him Mr. Man.

[chuckling]
- Yeah, let's not forget

she was blabbing to Jeff
about us.

- Ain't nobody care about that.

- Yeah, I'm just morbidly
intrigued at this point.

- Do you have sex in his hotel?

- Oh, yeah, all the time.

- Is there a coffee machine
in there?

- Yep, one of those pod ones.

- Do they have decaf?

- I think so.
- Ooh.

- Yes!
- And you guys will keep

this a secret, right?

- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,

we got you, Deliciousness.

[laughter]

- Amy to Glenn's
office, please.

Amy, report to
Glenn's office, please.

- So we just call each other
into Glenn's office now?

- And that registration
is under "Jonah Simms"?

- Yes, S-I-M-M-S.

- Okay, let me pull up
your records.

- Thank you.

- What are you doing?

- If you think
some college deferral

that I'm never
even gonna use

makes us so different,
I don't want it.

- I was just trying
to prove a point.

Hang up.
- No.

- Hang up.
- No. No.

- No, no, you.
- Cut it out.

God, your arms are very strong.
- I know.

- Unusually strong.
- Okay, look, fine,

we're in the exact same
position, all right?

Just hang up, don't do
something you're gonna regret.

- Are you sure?
- Yes.

- Mr. Simms?

- Uh, hey,
uh, yeah, you know what?

I'm--I think
I'm actually gonna--

- It turns out
your registration lapsed

a month ago, so you
don't have to worry about it.

- Um, what?

That's--no,
that's, mm-mm.

That's a mistake.
I, uh, I believe I have

a two-year deferral.

- Yes, two years
from your initial enrollment,

not from when you left school,

unless you apply to extend it--

- Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah,

let's just go ahead
and do that.

- Well,
you would've had to apply

while you were still
registered.

- Right. Right, right, right,
right, right, right.

Listen, uh,
how would I go about

re-registering
so that I could apply

to extend the deferral?

- Uh, you don't.

- [whispering]
I mean, what's the difference?

You were gonna cancel
anyway, right?

- No, I was bluffing that
I was cancelling

to show you how alike we are.

Uh, hey. Hi.
What's your name?

Vicky!
Uh, hey, listen,

we are going to find
a solution, Vicky.

I don't need
to calm down, Vicky.

I wasn't raising my voice.

Well, now I am.

- Is all the clearance gone?

- Yes,
Halo is officially over.

- What about the back? Would
you mind checking the back?

- Okay, fine,
I'll check the back.

[upbeat music]

*

[gasps]
Yes!

I'm sorry, there's
nothing left in the back.

- Oh, thanks anyway.

- Psych!
[giggles]

- Somebody's actually
throwing their garbage away

in the trash cans
that we're selling,

so could you check that out
in Home for me?

I appreciate it.

Thank you very much.

Sandra.
- Hey.

- There is a puddle in
the dressing room over there

of I don't know what,
actually.

It's kind of viscous,
and it has a very strong odor.

Um, do you think you might be
able to handle it for me?

- [laughs]

Oh, of course.
I'll get my bucket.

Boop.

- Oh, my God,
it's so obvious.

How have I never noticed this?

- Ugh.

- Hey, Iceman,
I was looking for you.

- Hey.
- Hey, buddy.

Good to see you.
Listen, I gotta bounce,

but next time I'm in town,
I'm gonna ping you,

and we go out for drinks.
- Uh, all right.

- Hey, I'll buy.
- I look forward to it.

- All right, great to see you.

- Hey, Rex Joshi.

Nice to meet you.
- Yeah, we met.

- Great.

- You really want to
be that guy?

- Heated seats.
[laughs]

- The nice suit,

fancy car,

big smile.

- I was never gonna go back.

[sighs]
I just...

- Welcome to the
"no options" club.

But it's a cool club.
- Yeah?

- Actually, I'm in it.
- Oh.

- Most of America's in it.

We meet on Tuesdays.

- Okay.
- I'll get you on the email.

- Oh, great.
- Hey, Jonah.

I heard about your business
school, I am so sorry.

- Oh, uh, thanks.
- Yeah.

- Oh, all right.

- You will always
have a place here,

till the day you die.

You can die here.

Oh, no, no,
that wasn't about, um, you.

I was just thinking of
something else that made me

really happy.

No, that way.