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1
00:00:02,303 --> 00:00:02,443
.
2
00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:04,444
- Okay, I need two volunteers.
3
00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:06,442
- Oh, right here,
I'm first! Pick me!
4
00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:10,114
- Okay, thank you, Mateo.
Who else?
5
00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:11,214
Anyone?
6
00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:13,205
- [yawns]
7
00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:14,317
- Garrett!
8
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,078
- Yeah, I just wanted to say no.
9
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:17,387
- You're all ingrates.
10
00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:19,118
I hope someone
sets you all on fire,
11
00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:20,523
and you need a volunteer
to put it out.
12
00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:22,124
- It's too much
for 6:00 a.m., Dina.
13
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,186
- I don't think it's enough.
14
00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:24,794
- Okay, fine.
I'll do it.
15
00:00:24,825 --> 00:00:27,325
- Okay, thank you, Jonah.
16
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,131
You and Mateo will be in charge
17
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:31,233
of our in-store
dog adoption today.
18
00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:32,225
[all gasping]
19
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:33,626
Yes, that's right.
20
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:36,137
That volunteer job
was desirable.
21
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,140
That was a lesson.
22
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:41,542
"And lo, the Samaritan,
as he traveled, came to where--"
23
00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:42,805
- 6:00 a.m., Glenn.
24
00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:44,083
- Okay, right.
25
00:00:44,112 --> 00:00:47,552
Anyway, while the rest of you
are having normal, dogless days,
26
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:51,221
these two selfless heroes
will be in puppy heaven.
27
00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:53,192
- I want to be
in puppy heaven.
28
00:00:53,221 --> 00:00:54,321
- I'll switch if anybody wants.
29
00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:55,455
I don't really care about dogs.
30
00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:57,289
- [gasps]
- What?
31
00:00:57,325 --> 00:00:59,285
- What did he say?
- I mean, I don't dislike them.
32
00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:01,257
I just, you know, I don't
really have strong feelings
33
00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:03,455
one way or the other.
- You're a psychopath.
34
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,297
- Sociopath, he's a sociopath.
35
00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:06,873
- Is it because
they don't like you?
36
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:11,110
- No, no I think it says
something about our priorities
37
00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:13,309
that we spend
so much money on pets
38
00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:15,511
when there are literally
millions of children
39
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:18,253
without adequate nutrition.
40
00:01:18,279 --> 00:01:19,249
- I hope you die.
41
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,180
- Okay, I need another
volunteer.
42
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:23,346
- Me me me me me me me me!
43
00:01:23,384 --> 00:01:25,354
- Sandra, thank you.
44
00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:26,246
Come on up.
45
00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:28,887
And I am glad
that you're an animal lover
46
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,662
because we have
a large number of hornets nests
47
00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:33,362
around the perimeter
of the store.
48
00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:37,334
That's right, it's not always
good to volunteer.
49
00:01:37,365 --> 00:01:39,565
That was another lesson.
50
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:42,570
[upbeat music]
51
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,473
*
52
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:46,635
- No, look, I want the
sour cream and onion chips.
53
00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:49,214
- I can't eat the ones
with the ridges on them
54
00:01:49,243 --> 00:01:50,613
because they hurt
the top of my mouth!
55
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:52,514
- That's part of the experience,
Cheyenne.
56
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:55,376
- I feel like I don't even know
who you are anymore.
57
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:57,286
- Hey hey, what is happening?
58
00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:59,418
- I don't even know
who Bo is anymore.
59
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,423
- Okay, all right.
- Are you kidding me?
60
00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,224
You know that's because
I never get what I want.
61
00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:04,556
All I ever do now
is babysit for free!
62
00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:08,502
- It's not babysitting
when you're the dad!
63
00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:09,699
- Whoa!
- Hey, guys, chill.
64
00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:11,230
- No, come on.
65
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:14,365
This doesn't have
to wind up on YouTube.
66
00:02:14,402 --> 00:02:16,402
Film one of my impressions
instead.
67
00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:17,607
- Okay, you want to start
something now?
68
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,668
- Yeah!
- "Hi, I'm Batman."
69
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:20,937
That was Batman.
70
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:24,254
"And now I'm the Joker."
71
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:25,648
- Somebody has to clean
all of this up.
72
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:31,519
- "You merely adopted the dark,
I was born in it."
73
00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:34,922
- Damn, tight Bane!
Respect.
74
00:02:34,955 --> 00:02:36,355
- [as Bane]
Thank you.
75
00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:39,360
[pop music]
76
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:43,263
*
77
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:45,427
[puppies whining]
78
00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:47,666
- [clears throat]
79
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:50,441
I know we've always
had this unspoken rivalry.
80
00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:52,411
- Not a rivalry, you're just
always mean to me.
81
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:56,240
And not unspoken, you talk about
it all the time?
82
00:02:56,277 --> 00:02:58,407
- Well, anyway,
since we're stuck together,
83
00:02:58,446 --> 00:02:59,776
I figured we could
at least be civil.
84
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:02,383
- Okay, somebody needs
to be in charge of the--
85
00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:03,516
- I'll do it.
I'll do it better.
86
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:04,951
This guy doesn't even
like dogs so.
87
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:06,415
- See, you're even trying
to embarrass me
88
00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:07,524
in front of the dog lady.
89
00:03:07,555 --> 00:03:10,755
- "Dog lady?"
Jonah, she has a name.
90
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:15,501
- Lydia.
- Lydia.
91
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,269
Really, Lydia?
92
00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:18,468
- Yeah.
- Ouch.
93
00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:21,569
- Attention shoppers, are you
thinking of having a baby,
94
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:22,542
but want to test the waters
95
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,640
with something
that's not the same at all?
96
00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:26,412
Adopt a dog today.
97
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,510
- Hey, you forgot
to clock in this morning.
98
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:31,512
- Oh, yeah, I came in behind
Elias and got distracted.
99
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:32,975
What's going on with his butt?
100
00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:34,283
- Make sure to clock in
at some point
101
00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:35,375
so we can start paying you.
102
00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:36,646
- Oh, hold up.
Wait.
103
00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:38,294
I haven't been paid
for the last two hours?
104
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:40,389
Can't you just adjust
the timesheet?
105
00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:41,991
- Can.
Won't.
106
00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:43,462
Rules are rules.
107
00:03:43,491 --> 00:03:44,591
- Are you being serious?
108
00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:46,255
- Yeah, I'm being serious,
109
00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:49,334
and "what's up" with Elias's
butt is he started cycling.
110
00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:51,573
Obviously.
111
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:53,533
- Sh...
112
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,567
- I feel like
all we ever do now is fight.
113
00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:58,474
We used to have so much fun.
114
00:03:58,506 --> 00:03:59,636
We would talk about everything.
115
00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:02,843
Movies, music, politics...
116
00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:05,646
- Politics, really?
- Mm-hmm.
117
00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:08,349
- But now, I mean,
we're supposed to get married
118
00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:12,392
in a few months,
and I'm starting to think
119
00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:14,390
maybe we should move that up.
120
00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:17,332
- Wait, what?
- Oh good, a wedding!
121
00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:18,758
- Because then
we'll be newlyweds
122
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:19,862
and we won't fight anymore.
123
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,363
- Fine by me.
124
00:04:21,395 --> 00:04:22,295
Just get it over with.
125
00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:24,630
Not on Tuesday, though.
I got my DJ class.
126
00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:25,825
- I can call my church
and see
127
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,536
if they have an opening
next week.
128
00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:30,638
Oh, and I get points
in the gift shop for referrals.
129
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:34,841
- No, Glenn, wait--
- Customer service, thank you.
130
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:38,645
- Guys, getting married is not
gonna solve all these problems.
131
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,549
Yes, there is
a honeymoon period--
132
00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:43,521
- Honeymoon period.
Banging everywhere.
133
00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:44,551
Mmm. Mmm.
134
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:48,315
- Yeah, and all that banging
builds a foundation
135
00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:51,686
of love and trust
that lasts forever.
136
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:53,785
- No, marriage is hard.
137
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,527
It's a big deal.
138
00:04:55,563 --> 00:04:57,403
It's gonna be one of
the hardest things you ever do.
139
00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:59,671
It's not something
you just want to rush into.
140
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,100
- Okay, hang on.
141
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,774
Do you guys want a black choir
or a white choir?
142
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,814
- Black choir.
- Definitely black choir.
143
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:07,879
- I mean, I'm not really
on board with this whole--
144
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,808
Yes, a black choir, of course.
145
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:12,453
- We'll take Lucius
and the Gang, thank you.
146
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:14,680
- All right,
I think you guys are all set.
147
00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:17,345
So I'll be back at 6:00
to close down
148
00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:19,415
and take the dogs that don't get
adopted back to the shelter.
149
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:20,793
- Oh, these guys
aren't going back.
150
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:22,021
I'm gonna get them all adopted.
151
00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:25,855
You might as well find new dogs
at the junkyard or wherever.
152
00:05:25,893 --> 00:05:28,703
- Honestly, most of them
probably won't get adopted.
153
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,559
But even one life saved
makes it all worth it.
154
00:05:30,598 --> 00:05:32,468
- Wait, "one life saved"?
155
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:33,700
- Yeah, we're an
open admissions shelter,
156
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:36,544
meaning we do have to euthanize
based on duration of stay.
157
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,740
So unfortunately, most of these
guys, they're out of time.
158
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,142
- Oh, my God.
- That's terrible.
159
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,544
- Oh--oh, God no,
that's not what I meant.
160
00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:44,507
No, no, no.
161
00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,745
- Oh, okay.
- You won't have to kill them.
162
00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:48,820
We have a service that comes in.
163
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,579
I'm dating the injection guy.
164
00:05:50,618 --> 00:05:51,618
Yeah, he's great.
165
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:55,462
He's divorced.
Most of them are at my age, so.
166
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:56,859
Yeah.
Do you sell stamps?
167
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:58,760
- At the register.
- Yeah, okay.
168
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:00,932
I'm gonna just--excuse me.
169
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,696
Oh, and dryer sheets,
actually?
170
00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:07,972
- Aisle 12.
- 12, 12. Thank you.
171
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:09,371
[puppies yipping]
172
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,077
- I don't know why they bother
calling it a shelter.
173
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:19,779
They should just call it
Doggie Death Row.
174
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:21,183
- I don't know
why you're so upset.
175
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,784
I thought you'd be
jumping for joy by now.
176
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:25,787
"Yay! Dead dogs!
It's Jonah Christmas!"
177
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:28,659
- Look, we only have
until 6:00 p.m.
178
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:29,889
to get all of these dogs homes.
179
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,433
And the only way that we're
gonna do that is by working to--
180
00:06:32,460 --> 00:06:34,090
- We've got to work together.
181
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,757
We got to work together
if we're gonna do this.
182
00:06:35,796 --> 00:06:38,166
You up for that?
- Yes, it's a great idea.
183
00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:39,868
- Great, we'll do my plan.
184
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:45,713
- Just step over the--
- Okay.
185
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,140
- Do you ever regret getting
married so young?
186
00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:52,776
- Um, no.
187
00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:55,783
I mean,
I wouldn't say regret,
188
00:06:55,816 --> 00:07:01,656
but I did miss out
on some experiences and stuff.
189
00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:03,219
- Yeah, like threesomes.
190
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:06,826
- No, I didn't mean--
- Like sex with Italian guys?
191
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:08,700
- More like Nordic.
192
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:13,469
But I didn't mean sex,
I meant life and dating
193
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:15,771
and, you know, stuff like that.
194
00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:17,243
- Yeah.
195
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,570
Like, how do I know
that Bo's the one?
196
00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:22,507
I mean, my friends
all thought I was crazy
197
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:24,513
to go out with Bo
when Cole liked me.
198
00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:25,645
- Who's Cole?
199
00:07:25,679 --> 00:07:26,649
- This guy at my school.
200
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,580
He's like the anti-Bo.
201
00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:32,546
He's like always reading,
mature, really sweet.
202
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,616
- So why did you pick Bo?
203
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,785
- Cause Bo's wild.
204
00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:39,794
He used to smash bang-snaps
on his forehead.
205
00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:41,627
Cole would never do that.
206
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:45,702
He was too busy tutoring
or, you know, doing debate team.
207
00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:46,903
- Wow.
208
00:07:46,934 --> 00:07:49,904
This Cole guy sounds
kind of great.
209
00:07:49,937 --> 00:07:54,507
I mean, it's nice to kind of
explore your options.
210
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:57,782
Even though it's probably
too late now, right?
211
00:07:57,811 --> 00:07:59,511
- Right.
212
00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:00,747
- Right.
213
00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:01,921
- Right.
214
00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:04,179
- Right.
215
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:06,887
- What are we doing?
216
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:08,890
- Look, Cheyenne,
217
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:11,562
I just want you to do
what's gonna make you happy.
218
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:15,562
You know, whether that's being
with a sweet, responsible guy
219
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:17,896
who likes books
and helping people,
220
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:21,301
or whether that's Bo
who's a wannabe rapper,
221
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,974
who's saving up
for a gold tooth.
222
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:26,574
I trust you
to make the right decision.
223
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:27,907
- Thanks, Amy.
224
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,581
- You're welcome.
225
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,550
- You're so old and wise.
226
00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:33,810
- Okay.
227
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:40,217
- 44, 43, 42...
228
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,223
- What are you doing?
229
00:08:41,254 --> 00:08:43,724
- "Employees may take no longer
than 15 minutes
230
00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:44,587
for their lunch break."
231
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,785
I've been timing you
since you walked in.
232
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,797
You got 40 seconds left.
233
00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:50,659
- Come on, I needed
to re-tighten my ponytail.
234
00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:51,998
I can't go out there
looking like a slut.
235
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,032
- Rules are rules,
that's what you said.
236
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,697
Unless you want
to go back on that?
237
00:08:56,737 --> 00:09:01,777
35, 34, 33...
238
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:02,979
32...
239
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:05,810
- Oh, it's so hot.
It's burning my mouth.
240
00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,676
- Less talking,
more swallowing.
241
00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:09,215
- God,
my mouth skin.
242
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:11,019
- Hey, Bo.
243
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,921
Now I don't want to sway you,
244
00:09:12,953 --> 00:09:15,763
but my church is offering
a nuptials package.
245
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:19,959
It includes a future baptism at
half-price, no blackout dates.
246
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:21,293
- Yeah, I don't know.
247
00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:22,728
Maybe jumping into this is,
like, a mistake.
248
00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:24,003
- Oh.
- It's not like getting married
249
00:09:24,031 --> 00:09:25,731
is gonna suddenly
fix everything.
250
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:27,736
We're still gonna be
fighting all the time,
251
00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:30,838
all cramped up in Cheyenne's
mom's basement with the baby.
252
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:34,881
- Well, you know,
maybe that's the problem.
253
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,738
You're all cooped up.
254
00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:38,777
You're like one of those
chickens in the tiny cages
255
00:09:38,812 --> 00:09:40,712
that can't turn around.
256
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:43,378
It makes them crazy,
and then they taste different.
257
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,246
- The [bleep]
you talking about?
258
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:48,855
- Look, a married couple needs
their own place.
259
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:52,729
My friend Kathy from church,
she's a real estate lady.
260
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:56,000
No, wait, Glenn, darn it.
It's 2016.
261
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:57,969
She's a real estate man.
262
00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:00,328
- I'm so sorry to hear
that your husband passed.
263
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:02,297
What was his name?
264
00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:03,865
- Jeremy.
- Jeremy.
265
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,844
And how long ago
did he leave us?
266
00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:07,013
- Two years ago.
267
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,980
- Oh, bless his soul.
268
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:09,879
Tell me more about him.
269
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:12,880
- He loved camping,
and the outdoors and--
270
00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:14,083
- Hey!
271
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,854
- Hold on, Mateo, she's in
the middle of a lovely story.
272
00:10:16,884 --> 00:10:19,324
- No, I found Jeremy
in the camping section again.
273
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,292
- This dog's name is Jeremy?
274
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,421
- Yep, little
2-year-old Jeremy.
275
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:24,686
- That's so crazy.
276
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:27,755
You and I--
You don't think...
277
00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:29,425
- Jeremy?
278
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:32,772
Are you in there?
- [barks]
279
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,700
- The carpets were all replaced
last year.
280
00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:37,936
And there's a washer/dryer
right behind the kitchen.
281
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,941
- Oh, wow.
282
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,173
Oh, yeah.
283
00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:43,778
- You know, I was hoping for
one of those double staircases
284
00:10:43,811 --> 00:10:44,851
that meet at the top.
285
00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:46,978
You got any houses
with double staircases, Kathy?
286
00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:49,084
Kind of like a built-in
fish tank,
287
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,746
big enough for, like,
a little shark?
288
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:52,824
Yeah.
- Okay.
289
00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:55,763
But wait, look at this kitchen.
290
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:57,459
So while you're cooking
you could just
291
00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:01,800
put on some Motown
and groove on, baby.
292
00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:02,959
- Yeah, you know what.
293
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,396
Actually, I'm seeing a lot of
294
00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:05,601
pretty good bang spaces
around here.
295
00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:09,472
Got this countertop, this
nice little window zone here,
296
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,872
and what's up, these floors
are like made for it, right?
297
00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:15,975
- Yeah, but it's also great
for a family.
298
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,779
What do you think?
299
00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:21,782
- Throw in that dope brooch,
you've got a deal.
300
00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:22,775
- No.
301
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:25,886
- Psych, I don't want
your ugly-ass brooch.
302
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,089
I'll take the place.
303
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,990
- Wonderful.
Great.
304
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,462
- Yes, I'm thrilled.
305
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:33,860
Glenn, I assume
you're cosigning.
306
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:34,964
- Cosigning?
307
00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:37,455
Wait, like I'd be
responsible for--
308
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:39,967
- Yes, in case he can't pay
or there's damage.
309
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,040
[drawer slamming]
310
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:48,409
- I texted Cole.
311
00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:50,011
- Wow, really?
- Yeah.
312
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,513
And he came over right away.
313
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,214
He's right over there.
314
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,876
- Oh, wow, he's cute.
315
00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,946
- I know, right?
316
00:11:57,985 --> 00:11:58,985
Do you want to meet him?
317
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,489
- Sure.
318
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,990
- Hey, Cole!
319
00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:05,163
Come over here!
320
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:07,802
Okay, just be cool.
321
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:12,271
- So, Cole.
322
00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:15,939
Cheyenne says
she knows you from school?
323
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:17,299
- Sophomore English.
324
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:21,437
- Oh, okay, but, so...
325
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,444
You were her teacher.
- I was her teacher.
326
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:26,476
Uh-huh, yeah.
- That's, uh, so--
327
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,283
- Don't worry,
nothing happened back then.
328
00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:30,945
I read the laws very carefully.
329
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:32,394
- Oh, good.
330
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:35,159
- He's so romantic.
331
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:37,358
- I don't want to make
a big deal out of it,
332
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:39,930
but these dogs
are actually celebrity dogs.
333
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:44,260
Oh, this one over here, he was
in a movie with George Clooney.
334
00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:45,927
- Oh, cool.
335
00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:48,166
- And this one is friends
with John Leguizamo.
336
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,243
- I think
I'll take the Clooney one.
337
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:53,412
- That's an excellent choice.
338
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,180
- Not a Leguizamo fan?
339
00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,450
- [exhales]
340
00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:00,979
- Move,
I gotta pour one out.
341
00:13:01,014 --> 00:13:03,384
- [groans]
"Employees are allotted
342
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,416
one bathroom break per shift."
343
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,992
You took one a little earlier.
344
00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:08,320
I know 'cause I wrote it down.
345
00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:10,155
- That was a false alarm.
I barely went.
346
00:13:10,190 --> 00:13:11,520
We're talking
less than a half an ounce.
347
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:14,288
- What was it they said
about rules?
348
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:17,197
That's right,
Rules are rules.
349
00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:18,500
- You think this bothers me?
350
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:20,131
I do a thousand Kegels a day.
351
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:23,037
I could break a walnut
down there.
352
00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:25,310
- Okay, I have the papers
353
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:28,338
all ready
for both of you to sign.
354
00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:31,975
Just as soon as Ricky texts me
your Social Security number.
355
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:34,012
- Hey, my boy Ricky's
got all my numbers.
356
00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:37,447
- Okay, you know what, homies,
I've been thinking.
357
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,454
- Nerd.
[laughs]
358
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,346
- I'm not sure
I still love this.
359
00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:44,458
I mean this kitchen,
isn't it too open?
360
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,531
I mean, you can be attacked
from any direction here.
361
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:48,930
[phone chimes]
362
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:50,432
- Oh.
363
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:52,003
That is Ricky with your Social.
364
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:54,302
- Yeah, boy, let's do this.
365
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:57,444
[phone chimes]
- And that is Ricky's penis.
366
00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:59,970
- Naw, that's Jared's.
Ricky wishes.
367
00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:01,337
[laughs]
368
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:03,044
- * Free your mind
369
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:05,376
* And the rest will follow
370
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,582
* Be color blind
371
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:11,354
- Go ahead, pick out anything
you want under $10.
372
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:12,594
- Oh, that's okay.
373
00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:15,259
Besides all the jewelry here
gives me a rash.
374
00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:16,318
- So sorry to interrupt.
375
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,956
Cheyenne, can I speak to you
for a moment alone?
376
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,362
- Sure, I'll miss you.
377
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:21,563
- Thanks.
378
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,302
Cheyenne?
- Mm-hmm?
379
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:27,603
- You cannot go
out with that guy.
380
00:14:27,634 --> 00:14:29,004
- Why?
381
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:30,496
- Because
he's a middle-aged man.
382
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,107
And because he was your teacher.
383
00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:33,369
Do you really need
another reason?
384
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:38,506
- Cole says we are all teachers
and journeymen and thieves.
385
00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:40,245
Isn't that beautiful?
386
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:41,510
- No, it's terrible.
387
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,518
And what about Bo?
388
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:44,380
- Really?
389
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,117
I always thought
that you didn't like Bo.
390
00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:48,163
- I'm probably
just a little intimidated
391
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:52,188
by his talent, and his looks,
and, you know, his face.
392
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,185
He's the whole package.
393
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,497
- Oh, that's really nice
of you to say.
394
00:14:56,529 --> 00:14:58,399
I don't know
why he doesn't like you.
395
00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:00,231
- I'm sorry, what?
396
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:01,627
Bo doesn't like me?
397
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:04,098
- Yeah, he says you're a poser.
398
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:05,267
- Okay.
399
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:07,235
Whatever.
That's beside the point.
400
00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:11,114
The point is if I had to pick
between Bo and Cole,
401
00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:12,184
I would pick Bo.
402
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,252
If those were
my only two options.
403
00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:16,651
- Okay, I'll think about it.
404
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,453
- He really called me a poser?
405
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,345
- Yeah, a big one.
406
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,559
- Bo's the poser.
407
00:15:24,591 --> 00:15:27,231
- Oh, God.
408
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,130
Oh, God.
409
00:15:29,162 --> 00:15:32,572
Oh, God, oh, God.
You're fine. You're fine.
410
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,199
You're fine, you're fine.
You can hold it forever.
411
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,174
It's like a steel trap.
[hornets buzzing]
412
00:15:36,203 --> 00:15:39,243
[exhales sharply]
413
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:42,142
- I gotta say,
we made a pretty good team.
414
00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,205
And I usually hate
being in teams.
415
00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:45,284
I can get pretty competitive.
416
00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:50,082
- You know what, I actually used
to be the same way.
417
00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:52,487
It's why I burnt out
of business school.
418
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,089
- I thought you flunked out.
419
00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:57,461
- Well, I flunked out
because I burnt out.
420
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:59,230
- Sounds like
you're making excuses.
421
00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:00,459
- Well, you weren't there so.
422
00:16:00,493 --> 00:16:03,463
Anyway, the point
is I got super stressed
423
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,196
about being the best
in my class,
424
00:16:05,232 --> 00:16:09,542
and I ended up in the hospital
with dehydration for two days.
425
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,399
- Wow.
- Yeah.
426
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:15,438
- I once got dehydration so bad
I was hospitalized for a month.
427
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,505
They said it was like the worst
case they'd ever seen.
428
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:20,554
- Oh, my God.
Really?
429
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:23,650
- No, I was just trying
to beat your story.
430
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:26,353
Sorry, I'm competitive.
431
00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:27,646
- Yeah, well.
432
00:16:27,687 --> 00:16:29,617
We all got our stuff.
433
00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,356
- I got more stuff
than you, though.
434
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,691
- Okay.
435
00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:35,696
- I want to talk last.
436
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:39,568
- Bo "The Truth" Thompson.
437
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:41,569
Ya boy, who's got--
- Okay, all right.
438
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:45,741
That's plenty.
Now, Glenn.
439
00:16:45,772 --> 00:16:47,512
- Oh.
Thank you.
440
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,320
- Yo, it's G-L-E-M.
441
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:57,248
- Okay, I know
how to spell my own name,
442
00:16:57,284 --> 00:16:59,694
and it's Glenn, not Glem.
443
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:01,119
- Glenn?
444
00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:02,664
What the hell kind of name
is Glenn?
445
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,119
- I can't sign this.
446
00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:06,257
I'm sorry.
- What?
447
00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:08,603
- Take the job in St. Louis,
Kathy.
448
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:10,758
You won't miss New York at all.
449
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:13,367
Christ.
- Katherine.
450
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,700
- Okay, this was
your idea, yo.
451
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:19,565
- If it was just my money
I wouldn't care, I swear.
452
00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:22,306
But I have a family, Bo.
453
00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,282
I'm sorry.
454
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,683
- You know, I get it.
455
00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:30,475
Maybe someday, right?
456
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:32,417
Get a place just like this.
457
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:36,362
Mark the baby's tallness on the
door frame, just watch her grow.
458
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:39,459
Sit around here
and have dinners together,
459
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:41,192
watching the news,
460
00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:43,558
roasting chestnuts
on an open fire.
461
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:44,456
- Mm-hmm.
462
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:47,367
- Folks all dressed up
like "Exkimos."
463
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,740
- Cripes, Kathy, fine,
you've got a sale.
464
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:52,569
- What?
- Oh, hooray a rental.
465
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,435
I just made $12.
466
00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:56,444
- Why you got to be a [bleep]
Kathy?
467
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:02,119
- I'm just not sure
we're meant to be together.
468
00:18:02,149 --> 00:18:03,349
- I totally understand,
469
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:05,253
but I am sure
470
00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:06,745
and I'm the adult here,
471
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:10,656
so why don't we go
and talk about it in my car?
472
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:11,890
- Oh, hell, no.
473
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,794
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
Mr. Eastwick?
474
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:17,226
- Mr. Thompson,
uh, nice to s--see you.
475
00:18:17,264 --> 00:18:18,174
- You flunked me
out of English class,
476
00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:19,698
and now you're flirting
with my girl, son?
477
00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:21,402
- Bo, nothing is going on.
478
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,544
- Let's just talk this through.
479
00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:24,369
- Talk it through like
one of the "Voices of Fiction"?
480
00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:26,744
We're not there right now.
We're in my house, boy.
481
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,443
- Okay.
- How do you like that, huh?
482
00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:29,805
- I don't like it.
- What're you talking about?
483
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:31,682
Read this book.
[Cheyenne shrieks]
484
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:33,881
You little bitch.
485
00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:35,423
- Don't hurt Bo.
486
00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:45,730
[both grunting]
- Oh, my God, the shampoo!
487
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:46,928
Yeah, hit him!
488
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,929
- Oh, God, this is pathetic.
489
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,831
- Come on guys, no.
490
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:52,433
Break it up.
491
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,165
- Whoa, someone's touching
my junk.
492
00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:55,241
- No!
493
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:56,838
- He's so romantic.
494
00:18:56,869 --> 00:18:58,239
- No.
Come on, put away your camera.
495
00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:00,241
There's nothing
interesting here.
496
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,283
- Now Brett's
got to clean this up.
497
00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:04,709
Come on, guys.
Be considerate.
498
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,414
- There's nothing
interesting here.
499
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,747
[indistinct shouting]
500
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:12,822
The comments are so mean.
501
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:17,292
Do I look like
"a gigantic, red baby"?
502
00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:18,764
- No.
503
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:21,191
- Oh, what's the hurry?
504
00:19:21,228 --> 00:19:22,358
- Bathroom.
I'm off the clock.
505
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:25,365
- Oh, you know what, restrooms
are for customers only,
506
00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:27,528
and it doesn't appear
that you've purchased anything.
507
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:34,438
Oh, a stapler?
- Yeah, I could use this.
508
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,414
- Sure you can.
We could all use a stapler.
509
00:19:36,443 --> 00:19:37,843
- You're gonna
pay for this tomorrow.
510
00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:40,347
- I don't work tomorrow.
- Then the next day.
511
00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:41,980
- Not until Sunday.
- Sunday then.
512
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:45,254
Sunday you will pay for--
oh wait, I'm not in Sunday.
513
00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:46,045
Damn it.
514
00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:48,285
- This is so worth
the two hours.
515
00:19:48,321 --> 00:19:49,861
- I hate you so much.
516
00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:53,329
- Guys, thank you both so much
for everything.
517
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,530
- So is everything okay with Bo?
518
00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:58,232
- Yeah, we're not gonna
get married this weekend,
519
00:19:58,265 --> 00:20:00,525
but we're gonna be okay.
520
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:02,467
- Yo, Chey,
where the dog treats at, yo?
521
00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:06,442
- You adopted many dogs.
522
00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:07,813
- Oh yeah, I got it
all figured out.
523
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,340
The dogs take care of the baby,
524
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,476
and the baby grows up
and takes care of the dogs.
525
00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:13,251
Whomp. Whomp.
[laughs]
526
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,480
- Circle of life.
- She gets it.
527
00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:17,415
- See, I'm not a poser.
528
00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:19,820
- Lets get them
to their new home.
529
00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:21,922
- This is Ding-Dong.
That's Weed.
530
00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:24,894
This is Richard,
and that's Snapdragon.
531
00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:26,894
- There goes
my security deposit.
532
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:27,956
- Oh, yeah.
533
00:20:27,994 --> 00:20:31,364
- Wow, you guys really got
all the dogs adopted.
534
00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:33,968
- Yup.
- That's great.
535
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,370
I guess I'll just wait till next
week to see the injection guy.
536
00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,014
You know what, I'm an adult.
537
00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:41,808
I'm gonna call him on the--
I'm gonna text him.
538
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:44,381
- Sounds good.
- Cool.
539
00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:45,611
- I'm gonna do it now.
540
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:49,384
- [clears throat]
541
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:51,576
Well, nice working with you.
542
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,518
- It was nice working
with you too.
543
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:56,063
Hey, you know, I was thinking
of seeing a movie tonight
544
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,058
if you want--
545
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,459
- I'm seeing two movies.
546
00:20:58,491 --> 00:20:59,961
- Okay.
547
00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:04,632
- Oh, the dogs are all gone?
548
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:06,904
- Girl.
- Uh-huh.
549
00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:09,373
- Were they cuddly?
550
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:12,412
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
551
00:21:12,439 --> 00:21:14,539
- Yeah.
39507
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