All language subtitles for Superstore.S01E07.WEBRip.x264-ION10_English

.

- [whimpers]
- Shh. It's gonna be okay.

- [whimpering]

- What happened?
- Jeremy died this morning.

- [gasps]
- No.

- Jeremy died?

- Jer--the tall guy?
He was so young.

- Oh, I called it.
You can't be that tall and live.

- No.
[chokes up]

Not stupid, tall Jeremy.

I wish he'd die.

My bird Jeremy.

One day he was alive,
and then the next...

[sobs]

[sighs]

I had him
since he was a little--

[holding back sobs]

[snorts]

[sobbing]

- Bird?
Little bird?

She was probably gonna
say "little bird."

[upbeat music]

*

[indistinct chatter]

I'm sure he's
in a better place.

Right, Mateo?

- Yeah, I bet
he's in bird heaven.

- You think so?
But he was so violent.

- Damn, man,
I tried to get it off,

but no one would cover
my shift.

- I would've stayed home,
but Emma needs braces

and they just cut back
on Adam's hours at work,

so I need the money.

- Hey, maybe it won't be so bad.
Just got to let it happen.

- What's going on?
What's today?

- Oh, you don't know.
- K-know what?

- Know this.

Hmm.

Oh, thought I heard the music.
Guess I timed it wrong.

- It's Color Wars!

- Whoo.
[all groan]

- What's Color Wars?

- Two teams--
one gold, one red--

and whoever sells the most
by the end of the day wins.

- Please, I'm not
in the mood.

- What do we win?

- Oh, this year
the winning team gets...

[imitates drumroll]

A pizza party.

[all groan]

- Sometimes I just want
to get in my car

and drive
and drive, drive.

- Buckle your seat belt,

because you are
about to experience Cloud 9

as you have never
experienced it before.

[indistinct chatter]

- [sighs]

- Hey, Dina, what you doing
over here in the bleachers?

It's Color Wars.

- Do birds go to Heaven?

- No, they don't have souls.

They just become dirt.

- Oh.
- Okay?

- Okay.

- Hey, if it would
cheer you up,

you could help me plan
the pizza party.

- What's there to plan?
You're just buying a pizza.

- No, that's
a pizza dinner.

The word "party"
changes things.

There are
certain expectations.

I mean, I could do it
on my own,

but it'd be way more fun
to do with you.

- [clears throat]

All right, I'll help you
with the stupid party.

- But wait.
Not if you don't want to.

- Well, you've begged me,
so, yeah, I'll help you,

but I got to say, I've got some
major problems with your ideas.

- You haven't even
heard them yet.

- I've heard them for years.
They always suck.

- No, they don't.

Which ones?

- All right, now,
when you check out,

they're gonna ask you
if you were helped by someone

on the Red Team
or the Gold Team.

This next part's
very important.

I do not care.

[indistinct chatter]

- No one's into the contest.

- I don't think the promise
of pizza has the same effect

it had on us
when we were kids.

- It's a pizza party.

Besides, that's not
the only prize.

Everyone on
the winning team gets $100.

- What?
- Yeah.

- Why didn't you
tell us that before?

- I was saving it.

I wanted to have
a nice surprise incentive

for the end of the day.

- No, you have to tell people
about incentives beforehand.

- Oh, okay.

Well, should I tell
people, then?

Should I make
an announcement?

- Um, I can.
I can do it.

Each member of the winning team
takes home...

$100.

[all gasp]

- I could really use
that money.

I've been saving up for one
of those 3D ultrasounds--

you know, the one
where the baby's all like...

- And the best part
is that the Red Team

doesn't even know
about the money.

Jonah?
- I'm sorry. Just--I don't--

I-I am a little uncomfortable
pushing people

to buy things
that they don't want or need.

[all groan]
- Seriously? Just stop it.

- I will kill myself before I go
back to 2D ultrasound, okay?

I will kill myself.

- Withdrawn.
- Okay.

Let's stick to departments
that play to our strengths.

Jenny, cosmetics
is not your--

[clears throat]

- Hey...
all: Hey.

- Guys.

- What's up, girl?
[chuckles awkwardly]

[vending machine whirring]

- Oh, just...

[bill scratching]

[scoffs]

[vending machine whirring]

I was putting it in wrong.

- * All I want to do is have fun
with my loved ones *

* The thug ones,
relatives, and my cousins *

* And I got them
by the dozens *

* When they buzzin', quick
to say [...] your husband *

* This is
for my [...] locked away *

* Extra love for the ones
who ain't got no date *

* But when we hit checkmate
with Ice Cube the great *

* As soon as I get a word,
we can rush the safe *

- * Yeah

- * Freaky gyration
is close to fornication *

*

- Wow. Looks like you guys
are doing pretty good.

- What? Oh, pssh.
Whatever. okay.

Looks like somebody's
taking the competition

a little too seriously
all of a sudden.

I can't believe you're even
looking at the board, Garrett.

- Well, I wasn't.

I just turned my head,
and my eyeballs went with it.

That's how faces work,

but it looks like you were
studying it pretty closely.

- Um, okay, whatever you say.

I'm gonna go chill
in the break room.

Lates.

- "Lates"?

Hey, Mateo, you notice
anything funny about this?

- Big guy, tiny shirt--classic.
I already Instagrammed it.

- No, I mean, why is
the Gold Team selling so hard?

- I don't know.

Let me do
a little investigating.

- Ow, ow, ow.
Ow, ow, ow.

There's a $100 prize
for the winning team.

- Thank you very much.

.

- Obviously, don't have sex
with any of the customers,

but if a man
is under the impression,

however misguided,
that the more he buys,

the less impossible it might be
that he could have sex with you,

well, that's on him.

But, uh, you're a lady,
and I respect you.

- Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers,

we'd like to welcome
the members

of our Second Chances Program
in the gold T-shirts.

If you'd prefer to work
with someone

who hasn't committed
a violent crime,

our red-shirted employees

will be more than happy
to help out.

Yes, the Cloud 9
Second Chances Program--

'cause knowledge
is worth 100 bucks.

[Edwin Starr's "War"]

- * Huh, yeah
- * What is good for?

- * Absolutely nothing,
say it again, y'all *

- * War
- * Huh, huh, good God

- Dina, we have
to prioritize.

We don't need a piñata.

- Piñatas are awesome.

You're hitting things,
eating candy, taking turns.

What more do you want?

- Our party budget
is only $60,

and the tiny clown alone
is $40.

- We don't need a tiny clown.

- I already agreed to cut
the fat clown, remember?

So pretty soon this party
is gonna have zero clowns.

Is that what you want--
a party with zero clowns?

- This one's twice as much,

but it comes
with a built-in bean hopper.

- Yeah, I-I doubt you'd ever use
most of these features.

- Are you sure?

'Cause I'm leaning
toward the expensive one,

and I can't stress enough,
money is no object.

- Honestly, unless
you're, like, a barista,

I think you're better off
with just a regular auto-drip.

- All right, I guess I'll spend
the difference on lotto tickets,

although, realistically, what
are my chances of winning twice?

- Jonah, so the Red Team knows
about the money now,

so it's time for the Gold Team
to stop pussyfooting around.

- I'm not doing that
with my feet.

I-I just have trouble
pressuring people

into buying stuff
they don't need.

- Well, that's selfish.

- Actually, I think
it's the opposite of selfish.

- Come on, Jonah,
you're better than this.

Look at the Red Team.
Brett just sold a shelf.

Not the items on the shelf--
he sold an actual shelf.

- Yeah, well, that's Brett.
Guy's a machine.

- Okay, look...

money's a little tight
for me right now.

So maybe $100 doesn't mean
that much to you,

but some of us
could really use it.

So can you please start selling
people crap they don't need?

- Oh, no, no, no.

Believe me--that bean hopper
has come in handy

more times
than I can count.

- That's what I said.

- Gold pride?
- Gold pride.

- Don't take "no"
for an answer.

- And then in blue icing,
have it say, "Congratulations."

Got that?

No, not "Congratulations.
Got that?"

Just "Congratulations."

No, I don't want you to write
"Congratulations. Got that?

"No, not 'Congratulations.
Got that?'

Just 'Congratulations.'"

What do I do here?
- He doesn't know English.

He's just transcribing
phonetically.

- Well, what language
does he speak?

- You hired him.

That's why, if it was up to me,
I'd fire half the staff.

No, don't put that
on the cake.

- Need some help
with the grill?

- Uh, no, no, no, no.
I'm just browsing.

I already got the base model.

- Ah.

She's a beaut, huh?

- Yeah.
- She's a-a real beaut.

- Believe me--
I wish I could afford it,

but, I mean,

how much am I gonna really use
a motorized rotisserie burner?

- I use mine
all the time.

It's--it's gotten me
out of some pretty crazy jams.

- Are you a--
you a grill guy?

- So much.

- Okay.
Charcoal or gas?

- If you need to ask,
then you are not a grill guy.

- Yes, exactly. That's good.
- Yeah. Yeah.

- I should use that
in one of my videos.

- Your, uh--
What videos?

- I do these--these
grilling videos on YouTube.

It's not a--it's not
a big deal or anything.

- Sounds like
a big deal to me.

- I got nine subscribers.
- What?

- I don't even know
three of them.

- Wow. Total strangers.
- Yeah.

- That's, uh--
I guess, then, one could say

you almost need this.

- Yeah, maybe, maybe.
Let me run it by my wife.

I think she's around here
somewhere, and I'll--

- Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hold on. Come on.

Uh, let's not--
[clears throat]

Let's not bring a lady
into this, right?

This is guy stuff--

You know, grills, football,

cars, porn.

- Yeah, I'll just--
I'll, uh--I'll call her.

- Yeah, all right.

- You think you're
a bigger Minions fan than me?

I don't think so,
'cause if you were,

you would have
a Minions blanket

and a Minions night-light

and some Minions candy

and this princess thing.

[cell phone vibrates]

One second.
Hey, babe, what's up?

- Uh, yeah, yeah, I just
wanted to run something by you.

- Oh, I'm really busy right now.
Can it wait?

- Well, I was just at home,
and I realized

we were out of AA batteries,
so I had the--

- Oh, AA batteries.
I'll bring some home.

Okay, I love you, bye.

That was the head Minion,

and he told me to tell you
to tell your mom

to get you a new Xbox.

- Um, she couldn't talk.
[chuckles]

- Well...

it's, uh, not like
you didn't try, right?

- Yeah.
- Huh?

- Yeah, I tried.
- Yeah.

- Let's do this.
- Okay.

- Yeah.
- All right.

- Yeah.
- Look out, cookout.

[chuckles]
- What?

.

- Trust me,
you don't want the RX-5.

The Vilano Forza's
the way to go.

- The RX-5 got five spokes
on RoadPro,

and it's half the price.

- Mm, okay.
- What's that mean?

- [sighs] Look, man,
I used to own the 5, okay?

And it was good...

till the pedals came loose

when I was crossing
a busy street.

- Oh, I--
oh, I'm sorry.

- But, hey, you know what?

I like to focus
on the positive.

I'll ring you up
for the RX-5.

- Actually, let's go
with the Vilano.

- Hell, yeah!

And let's get you one of these
fancy racer helmets too.

"I wish I had a better helmet"
was my first full sentence

when they taught me
how to speak again.

- * All our times
have come *

- The woman is a maid.

She needs to do
what I tell her to do.

- How will you be paying?

- I just said,
"You can quit if you want,

but I can call INS
if I want."

That shut her up.

I don't know. Something
about her car catching on fire.

The point is, she was late.

So call an Uber.
Exactly.

I mean, she walked all the way
here from Guatemala,

but she can't make it a couple
of miles across town?

- Place the ribs
at a direct heat

and let them cook
for almost two hours.

- I love this.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

- Thanks. Thanks.

Yeah, I hate it on cooking shows
how they start a dish

and then they cut to later
after it's cooked.

- Yeah.

- So all my videos
are done in real time.

You never see that.

- You never see that.

No, and you know what?

This'll be even better
in 4K Ultra HD, huh?

- Oh, I don't know.

That seems like a lot
to spend on a hobby.

- Oh, whoa, whoa!

Stop calling this a hobby.

This is a career.
- Yeah?

My wife kind of thinks
my videos are stupid.

- Well, no offense, but I kind
of think your wife is stupid.

- Oh, nice. Yeah.
[both laugh]

But, you know, she probably
wouldn't be very happy

if I spend any more money
right now.

- Hey, what about
what makes you happy?

You need to give
yourself permission

to do something for yourself,
just for once.

- That's true.

Yeah.
- Huh?

- That's true, yes.

- Yes?
- Yes.

- Yes to that?
- I'm gonna do it.

- Yes.
- Yes.

- Why should she get
time off?

I don't get time off
from being a stepmom.

[Amy sighs]

- How's it going?

- [sighs]
Not so great.

Brett sold the nacho-cheese
dispenser from the cafe.

- The man knows how to close.
- How does he do it?

- I don't know.
And you know what?

This is not gonna help,

but I was this close
to making a $1,000 sale,

and then I opened
my big, fat mouth

and talked him
into spending $2,000.

- Shut up. No way.
- I did what you said.

I did not take "no"
for an answer.

- Oh, my God.
- And every time

I felt bad for the guy,
I just thought,

"Hey, look, it's either coming
out of his pocket or Amy's."

- Yes! Oh, my God,
I love you so much right now.

Um, get back to work.

- Okay.

- [sighs] I hate balloons.
- Well, we need them.

Balloons are like our souls.

They want to go up,
but can't,

and when you pop them,
they scream.

- Okay, I thought we were
throwing this party together,

but, sure, let's only get things
that are important to Glenn.

God forbid we splurge
on a piñata

for the lady who woke up
to her dead best friend

and then had to sneak him
into her neighbor's garbage can

before trash pickup.

[whimpers]

- Okay.
You really want a piñata?

I have an idea.

- Oh, who cares?
I have ideas all the time.

- "I wish I would've
bought a Vitamix"

was the first thing I said
when I woke up from my coma.

Could save your life, man.

- How exactly did a non-Vitamix
blender put you in a coma?

- That's a very
offensive question

to ask a disabled person.

Oh, Amy's husband's here.

- Oh, wow.
That is not what I--

So is he, like, a--
like, a really funny guy

or a musician or something?

- I don't think so.
I think he makes grill videos.

- [scoffs]

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no.

- And then we just fill it up
again with candy.

- Yeah, I know
how a piñata works.

Thanks.
This was a good idea.

- Aw.

- Hey, this stuffing
looks like clouds.

We could use this as, uh,
decorations for the party.

- Cloud 9!

Look at us
working together,

riffing off
each other's ideas, huh?

It's kind of like jazz,
you know?

[scatting awkwardly]

- [scatting]

- Yeah.
Yeah, go, go, go.

- [scatting]

- [scatting awkwardly]

- Xylophone sound.

* We're jazzin',
we're snazzin' *

[both scatting]

- Hey.
- Hey.

- I don't think
you should buy this stuff.

- Huh?
You just said that I should.

- Yeah, but then I realized,

what if part
of the lightning in the bottle

you were able to capture
in those videos

was actually
the old-school grill, right?

- Uh, I don't think
that's true.

- Sure, sure.
You know what?

Hey, how about this?
how about this?

You head out to the car,

and I'm gonna
bring this stuff out to you.

- Oh, I still
got to pay for it, so...

- It's on me.
- What?

- I would like to pay
for this--all of it.

- What, you mean
you want to, like, invest?

- Yeah. Yeah, I do.

I want to get in
on the ground floor.

You know what?
Partners?

- Well, what percentage
are we talking?

- Ah, you--
whatever you think is fair.

We can talk
about it later.

- No, no, no, no.
I don't think so.

I mean, that's how people
get in trouble.

I could see maybe going 80-20.

- Uh, 80-20 is a deal.
You got yourself a deal.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

I just--I'm not sure I want to
give up that kind of equity.

- I don't need equity.

I just need you
to get out of here before...

.

- We can't afford a grill
right now.

- But we can afford
for you to take

all the college classes
in the world.

- Excuse me?

- This is not Adam's fault.
This is my fault.

- Jonah, stay out of this.

Those college courses
are gonna help me

make more money for us.

- So will the videos.
Jonah's already invested.

- I wouldn't use
the word "invested."

- We're 90-10 partners.

- I thought you said 80-20?

Stop it, Jonah.

- For once in my life,

I want to give myself permission
to do something for myself.

- For once in your life, Adam?

- Yes.
- Come on.

What about the kickboxing gym...
- Yeah.

- Or the reggaeton album...
- Ooh.

- And the home-brewed beer?

- Wow. That is so low
that you would bring that up.

That is still aging.
- It smells.

- Yeah? Jonah says
I have potential.

What about that?

- Oh, oh,
that's what Jonah says?

- Tell her.

- Um, sorry, ma'am?

Crock-Pots?

Yes, Crock-Pots
are just over here.

[Glenn and Dina scatting]

- * Many hands make
for less work for everyone *

* Many hands make
for less work for everyone *

[scatting]

both:
* Teamwork

- Oh, come on, guys,
I mean...

[light applause]

- So who won?

- Gold Team won, Myrtle.

- He's told you that,
like, six times.

- Victory is sweet.
Hoo-hoo.

But you know what?

The real victory
is that we did it together.

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

- Wait.
You're on the Red Team.

- I'm on the
Take One of Each T-shirt Team.

[chuckles]

- This feels about right
as the ending to the day.

- [sighs]
Yeah.

Is your husband still here?

- No, he went home.

- He seems nice.

- [chuckles]

Yeah, he is.

- Hey, uh,
I'm really sorry about--

- It's not your fault.

- So how'd you guys meet?

- I don't really want
to talk about my home life.

- Got it.

- I was in high school,
and he was a football player.

- "You hired him.

"That's why, if it was up to me,
I'd fire half the staff.

"No, don't put that on the cake.
Glenn, make him stop. See?

"Not so cocky now,
are you, Dina?

"I swear to God,
one of these days,

"I'm going to strangle you.

"I'd like to see...

"you try.

Is that a threat?
You threatened me."

- Is it working?