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1
00:00:06,825 --> 00:00:08,967
I don't understand why
Glenn needs the shots
2
00:00:09,002 --> 00:00:10,736
if you're the one carrying the baby.
3
00:00:10,770 --> 00:00:12,738
If I have to pump
myself full of hormones
4
00:00:12,772 --> 00:00:14,206
in order to carry his child,
5
00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,408
it's only fair that he go
through the same pain.
6
00:00:16,442 --> 00:00:17,876
Yeah, but with saline, so that
7
00:00:17,911 --> 00:00:20,546
my male parts don't
turn into female parts.
8
00:00:20,580 --> 00:00:22,714
Yeah, that's how it works.
9
00:00:22,749 --> 00:00:24,883
I just can't believe you
guys are making a baby.
10
00:00:24,918 --> 00:00:26,518
You don't even like each other.
11
00:00:26,553 --> 00:00:28,487
If I wanted to avoid doing
things with people I hate,
12
00:00:28,521 --> 00:00:29,988
I would literally never leave my house.
13
00:00:30,023 --> 00:00:32,224
And believe me, I am only
doing it for the money.
14
00:00:32,258 --> 00:00:36,662
And believe me, if there was
any other usable, affordable
15
00:00:36,696 --> 00:00:38,397
womb within 1,000 miles of here,
16
00:00:38,431 --> 00:00:39,763
I would not be using hers.
17
00:00:39,764 --> 00:00:41,733
It just sucks that you have
to get so many shots.
18
00:00:41,768 --> 00:00:43,835
Well, I had the option
of taking them orally.
19
00:00:43,870 --> 00:00:45,270
Then why did you pick shots?
20
00:00:46,306 --> 00:00:46,975
That's why.
21
00:00:48,770 --> 00:00:51,942
Synced and corrected by hawken45
for www.addic7ed.com
22
00:00:52,779 --> 00:00:54,580
Amy, you're old, right?
23
00:00:54,614 --> 00:00:55,847
Um...
24
00:00:55,882 --> 00:00:57,683
Like you were alive during the '90s.
25
00:00:57,717 --> 00:01:00,919
Yeah, I was. Yep, the roaring '90s.
26
00:01:00,954 --> 00:01:03,789
So, what would you say
would be the best piƱata
27
00:01:03,823 --> 00:01:06,692
for a Green Day-themed birthday
party for a two-year-old?
28
00:01:06,726 --> 00:01:08,026
Um, okay.
29
00:01:08,061 --> 00:01:10,295
Let's back that up real quick.
30
00:01:10,330 --> 00:01:11,863
Harmonica's into Green Day?
31
00:01:11,898 --> 00:01:14,132
I doubt she's ever heard of them.
32
00:01:14,167 --> 00:01:14,866
She's two.
33
00:01:14,901 --> 00:01:16,868
But it's my mom's favorite band,
34
00:01:16,903 --> 00:01:19,371
and it's just easier
not to argue with her.
35
00:01:19,405 --> 00:01:20,806
Wouldn't your mom be okay
36
00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:21,907
with something a little
more kid-friendly?
37
00:01:21,941 --> 00:01:24,042
Like, I don't know, "Minions?"
38
00:01:24,077 --> 00:01:27,246
She just got out of jail.
Minions are criminals.
39
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,382
That could suck her right
back in to the lifestyle.
40
00:01:30,416 --> 00:01:32,284
Good point. Um...
41
00:01:32,318 --> 00:01:35,320
All right, well, what
about, like, mermaids?
42
00:01:35,355 --> 00:01:37,864
I don't know. My mom
really wants Green Day.
43
00:01:38,491 --> 00:01:40,559
Mermaids are a lot like Green Day.
44
00:01:40,593 --> 00:01:42,494
They're half-fish, half-human,
45
00:01:42,528 --> 00:01:43,895
they're like rebels.
46
00:01:43,930 --> 00:01:45,664
You know, down for whatever.
47
00:01:45,698 --> 00:01:48,634
In fact, they used to call Green Day
48
00:01:48,668 --> 00:01:50,969
the mermaids of '90s rock.
49
00:01:51,004 --> 00:01:52,671
- Is that true?
- Mm-hmm.
50
00:01:52,705 --> 00:01:53,673
It's totally true.
51
00:01:54,274 --> 00:01:57,109
Jonah, which puzzle seems
more fun for the cabin?
52
00:01:57,143 --> 00:01:59,898
"Bubbling Mountain Brook,"
or "Ankylosaurs?"
53
00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:03,290
Let's go "Bubbling Brook."
54
00:02:03,300 --> 00:02:05,702
Ooh, bad boy. I like it.
55
00:02:05,885 --> 00:02:07,753
Okay, I'm gonna go
hide it so nobody else
56
00:02:07,787 --> 00:02:08,754
buys it before we can.
57
00:02:08,788 --> 00:02:10,322
Ooh, good idea.
58
00:02:10,356 --> 00:02:12,700
Pretty steamy weekend
you guys got planned.
59
00:02:12,701 --> 00:02:14,459
Yeah, I'm excited.
60
00:02:14,494 --> 00:02:15,827
Not as excited as I am.
61
00:02:15,828 --> 00:02:18,363
I got the apartment to myself,
Randy's gonna come over,
62
00:02:18,398 --> 00:02:20,165
we're gonna strap into
our video game chairs
63
00:02:20,199 --> 00:02:22,263
and not move for 70 hours straight.
64
00:02:22,264 --> 00:02:23,419
Oh, um...
65
00:02:24,304 --> 00:02:25,437
Randy's coming over.
66
00:02:25,939 --> 00:02:26,795
Cool.
67
00:02:26,796 --> 00:02:29,541
You're gonna be having sex on
a jigsaw puzzle in the Ozarks,
68
00:02:29,575 --> 00:02:30,542
and you're jealous of Randy?
69
00:02:30,576 --> 00:02:32,177
No, no, jealous? No.
70
00:02:32,211 --> 00:02:34,946
I just didn't know he
was gonna come over,
71
00:02:34,981 --> 00:02:37,640
so that's just, you know,
news to me, is all.
72
00:02:40,253 --> 00:02:40,929
Cool.
73
00:02:41,721 --> 00:02:47,373
20,000, for the most beautiful gift...
74
00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:49,161
Okay, I ran out of space again.
75
00:02:49,195 --> 00:02:51,396
I'm just gonna void this,
and I'll do another one.
76
00:02:51,431 --> 00:02:52,740
It doesn't have to be perfect.
77
00:02:52,741 --> 00:02:55,591
No, I am not starting out
this journey with a mistake.
78
00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,376
Here, you can fill out the forms
79
00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:59,338
while I write another one.
80
00:02:59,372 --> 00:03:00,806
Forms?
81
00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,041
"Gestational surrogacy agreement."
82
00:03:03,076 --> 00:03:04,876
You're making me sign a contract?
83
00:03:04,911 --> 00:03:07,145
It's what they say
you're supposed to do.
84
00:03:07,180 --> 00:03:09,247
"Regular checkups," "custody release..."
85
00:03:09,282 --> 00:03:11,316
Okay, wait, you think
I want to steal your kid?
86
00:03:11,351 --> 00:03:13,151
And then what?
Have to spend years explaining
87
00:03:13,186 --> 00:03:15,153
why it's good thing to be
chosen last for dodgeball?
88
00:03:15,188 --> 00:03:17,255
No, it's just better safe than sorry.
89
00:03:17,290 --> 00:03:18,625
No, no, no, that's fine, that's fine.
90
00:03:18,626 --> 00:03:20,158
You know what?
I am gonna give this a read,
91
00:03:20,193 --> 00:03:21,893
and I'll let you know
if I have any thoughts.
92
00:03:21,928 --> 00:03:24,909
It should be fine.
It was the first one on Google.
93
00:03:25,598 --> 00:03:27,199
Oh, look how cute!
94
00:03:27,233 --> 00:03:28,900
Mermaid treasure for the treasure hunt.
95
00:03:28,935 --> 00:03:30,335
The treasure is seashells?
96
00:03:30,370 --> 00:03:31,837
Wouldn't mermaid treasure be something
97
00:03:31,871 --> 00:03:33,238
they don't have general access to?
98
00:03:33,272 --> 00:03:36,174
Like, human garbage would
be treasure to them.
99
00:03:36,209 --> 00:03:38,649
I wish I were a mermaid.
I would clean up.
100
00:03:38,656 --> 00:03:39,982
I think you'd be a mer-man.
101
00:03:39,983 --> 00:03:42,669
Yeah, I don't really
buy mermen as a thing.
102
00:03:43,020 --> 00:03:45,153
Then how did they use to, you know...
103
00:03:45,563 --> 00:03:46,958
[bleep]?
104
00:03:47,263 --> 00:03:49,998
Unless that's why they went extinct.
105
00:03:50,033 --> 00:03:51,800
They didn't go extinct.
106
00:03:51,835 --> 00:03:54,236
They lost their tails over
the course of centuries
107
00:03:54,270 --> 00:03:55,370
and turned into humans.
108
00:03:55,405 --> 00:03:56,278
It's called evolution.
109
00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:57,805
I don't think so.
110
00:03:57,806 --> 00:03:59,736
Okay, fine, God made us.
111
00:03:59,737 --> 00:04:01,135
Look at the human eye.
112
00:04:02,011 --> 00:04:03,078
It's too complicated.
113
00:04:03,112 --> 00:04:05,047
No, I believe in evolution.
114
00:04:05,081 --> 00:04:07,850
I'm just saying it's make
believe... it's like unicorns.
115
00:04:07,884 --> 00:04:09,852
We don't know that
there were never unicorns.
116
00:04:09,886 --> 00:04:13,488
I read that we discover like 50
new species of frogs each year.
117
00:04:13,523 --> 00:04:15,591
Maybe scientists just haven't
discovered unicorns yet.
118
00:04:15,625 --> 00:04:17,159
Frogs are tiny. I think somebody
119
00:04:17,193 --> 00:04:18,468
would've noticed a unicorn.
120
00:04:18,469 --> 00:04:20,205
A lot of people believe unicorns exist.
121
00:04:20,206 --> 00:04:22,164
A lot of people believe in Bigfoot.
122
00:04:22,198 --> 00:04:23,498
A lot of people believe in angels!
123
00:04:23,533 --> 00:04:25,000
I believe in angels.
124
00:04:25,034 --> 00:04:26,668
No, you don't.
125
00:04:26,703 --> 00:04:27,541
Yeah, I do.
126
00:04:27,924 --> 00:04:29,825
I used to think kangaroos were real.
127
00:04:41,885 --> 00:04:43,626
"Surrogate shall be reimbursed
128
00:04:43,627 --> 00:04:45,254
for all tailoring expenses?"
129
00:04:45,288 --> 00:04:46,688
I'm gonna have to have
my clothes converted
130
00:04:46,723 --> 00:04:48,857
to maternity clothes and
then converted back after.
131
00:04:48,892 --> 00:04:50,759
"In the event of a baby
over eight pounds,
132
00:04:50,793 --> 00:04:53,862
lessee will reimburse leaser
for vaginal reconstruction."
133
00:04:53,897 --> 00:04:55,797
Hey, I was happy to have
a gentleman's agreement.
134
00:04:55,832 --> 00:04:58,934
You're the one who wanted
to get all formal about it.
135
00:04:58,968 --> 00:05:01,703
I'm gonna have to take some
time to review these changes.
136
00:05:01,738 --> 00:05:05,807
Sure, oh, FYI, clauses 30-49
are all vag-related,
137
00:05:05,842 --> 00:05:08,371
and the last page is the before photos.
138
00:05:17,687 --> 00:05:20,958
Whoa, Oreo really upped its
game while I was in prison.
139
00:05:21,754 --> 00:05:23,677
It's like a fat kid's fever dream.
140
00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,797
Oh, Amy, this is my mom.
141
00:05:27,130 --> 00:05:28,497
Oh, my gosh! Hi!
142
00:05:28,531 --> 00:05:29,898
You're the famous Amy.
143
00:05:29,933 --> 00:05:31,166
I've heard so much about
you over the years,
144
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,301
I feel like I know you.
145
00:05:32,302 --> 00:05:35,264
I'm so sorry about the divorce
and how your life is going.
146
00:05:36,339 --> 00:05:38,473
Oh, um, thank you.
147
00:05:38,508 --> 00:05:40,976
Uh, so what brings you to the store?
148
00:05:41,010 --> 00:05:44,471
Oh, she was just bringing me
this shirt that she got me
149
00:05:44,781 --> 00:05:46,770
that I forgot to put on this morning.
150
00:05:46,771 --> 00:05:48,055
It's more professional.
151
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,592
And I gotta get some
stuff for the party.
152
00:05:49,593 --> 00:05:52,254
Do you have a Green
Day-themed bouncy house?
153
00:05:52,288 --> 00:05:54,638
Green Day? What happened with mermaids?
154
00:05:54,639 --> 00:05:57,092
My mom thought we should
go back to Green Day.
155
00:05:57,126 --> 00:05:59,985
Mermaids is a little
juvenile, don't you think?
156
00:06:00,630 --> 00:06:03,665
Well, I mean, it is a
two-year-old's birthday party,
157
00:06:03,700 --> 00:06:05,500
and Chey really liked the idea...
158
00:06:05,535 --> 00:06:06,682
Amy, I don't mean to be rude,
159
00:06:06,683 --> 00:06:08,537
I know you've been kind
of a mother figure
160
00:06:08,571 --> 00:06:10,827
for Cheyenne while
I've been away, but...
161
00:06:11,507 --> 00:06:12,816
I'm her actual mother,
162
00:06:13,142 --> 00:06:16,594
so don't you have some
shelving to do or something?
163
00:06:18,205 --> 00:06:19,671
Yes, sure.
164
00:06:20,683 --> 00:06:21,650
Yeah, sorry.
165
00:06:21,684 --> 00:06:22,918
- Okay.
- Bye.
166
00:06:22,919 --> 00:06:23,675
Bye.
167
00:06:24,988 --> 00:06:26,523
Cinnamon bun Oreos?
168
00:06:28,861 --> 00:06:29,928
Technology.
169
00:06:35,150 --> 00:06:36,582
"I'm her actual mother."
170
00:06:36,617 --> 00:06:37,583
What does that even mean?
171
00:06:37,618 --> 00:06:39,051
Hard to say.
172
00:06:39,086 --> 00:06:41,554
It either means she's the one
who gave birth to her,
173
00:06:41,588 --> 00:06:42,216
or...
174
00:06:42,756 --> 00:06:44,979
that's the only thing that it means.
175
00:06:44,980 --> 00:06:47,379
Well, it doesn't give her
the right to just swoop in,
176
00:06:47,379 --> 00:06:49,180
and start changing up
perfectly good shirts,
177
00:06:49,214 --> 00:06:50,624
and perfectly good parties.
178
00:06:50,625 --> 00:06:53,984
I mean, mermaids is a better
theme than Green Day.
179
00:06:54,019 --> 00:06:55,886
Like, that's an objective fact, right?
180
00:06:55,921 --> 00:06:57,388
- I like Green Day.
- Really?
181
00:06:57,422 --> 00:06:59,156
Name three of their songs.
182
00:06:59,191 --> 00:07:00,825
"Boulevard of Broken Dreams,"
"Good Riddance,"
183
00:07:00,859 --> 00:07:02,093
"When I Come Around."
184
00:07:02,094 --> 00:07:04,095
Okay, well, those are the
obvious ones... name three more.
185
00:07:04,129 --> 00:07:06,363
"Basket Case," "Longview,"
"American Idiot."
186
00:07:06,398 --> 00:07:08,032
You are a very irritating person.
187
00:07:08,066 --> 00:07:09,667
I just don't think
that you should butt in.
188
00:07:09,701 --> 00:07:12,169
You... you butt in all the time.
189
00:07:12,204 --> 00:07:14,029
That's why your butt is so big.
190
00:07:15,957 --> 00:07:17,332
"Welcome to Paradise."
191
00:07:18,076 --> 00:07:20,401
"Wake Me Up When September Ends."
192
00:07:21,747 --> 00:07:23,057
I love Green Day.
193
00:07:24,149 --> 00:07:26,517
I've never really hired a lawyer before.
194
00:07:26,967 --> 00:07:28,726
But I just wanted to
make sure everything
195
00:07:28,754 --> 00:07:30,421
Dina put in was kosher.
196
00:07:30,455 --> 00:07:32,080
Yeah, well, that makes sense.
197
00:07:33,759 --> 00:07:35,526
I'm sorry about using the word "kosher."
198
00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,497
That wasn't a comment on your religion.
199
00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:39,435
Oh, I'm not Jewish.
200
00:07:40,458 --> 00:07:41,433
Okay.
201
00:07:42,167 --> 00:07:43,675
I don't mind, though.
202
00:07:45,103 --> 00:07:47,071
Well, is it basically okay?
203
00:07:47,105 --> 00:07:49,907
Yeah, mostly there's just
a couple small, little nitpicky
204
00:07:49,941 --> 00:07:51,709
things that might be
worth discussing with Dina.
205
00:07:51,743 --> 00:07:54,645
Oh, okay. I could go get her right now.
206
00:07:54,679 --> 00:07:55,720
Yeah.
207
00:07:55,721 --> 00:07:57,381
I'll bring in a bagel and a smear.
208
00:07:57,415 --> 00:07:58,897
Again, I am not, uh...
209
00:07:59,918 --> 00:08:02,086
You know what?
An onion bagel would be great.
210
00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:03,195
Onion bagel.
211
00:08:08,693 --> 00:08:10,795
Do you think Green Day is a mistake?
212
00:08:10,829 --> 00:08:16,000
Well, you know, I-I don't
want to butt in, or...
213
00:08:16,034 --> 00:08:19,503
But yes, I do, it's crazy.
Cuckoo bananas, makes no sense.
214
00:08:19,538 --> 00:08:20,938
You think mermaids would be better?
215
00:08:20,972 --> 00:08:23,240
Yes, 100%, I think
you should do mermaids.
216
00:08:23,275 --> 00:08:24,451
Look, Chey,
217
00:08:24,843 --> 00:08:27,244
you don't have to do everything
your mom tells you to do
218
00:08:27,279 --> 00:08:28,612
just because she's your mom.
219
00:08:28,647 --> 00:08:31,315
I just... I have a hard time
standing up to her.
220
00:08:31,349 --> 00:08:33,083
She never listens to what I want.
221
00:08:33,118 --> 00:08:36,320
Well, you just gotta sit
her down, and tell her,
222
00:08:36,354 --> 00:08:39,333
"I am a grownup.
I make my own decisions."
223
00:08:40,225 --> 00:08:42,827
You want me to brag about you to my mom?
224
00:08:42,861 --> 00:08:43,828
Uh-uh.
225
00:08:43,862 --> 00:08:44,967
Sorry.
226
00:08:44,968 --> 00:08:47,364
You would say you were a grownup,
227
00:08:47,399 --> 00:08:49,133
you make your own decisions.
228
00:08:49,167 --> 00:08:50,830
She knows she's a grownup.
229
00:08:51,670 --> 00:08:54,138
Why don't we go talk to her together?
230
00:08:54,172 --> 00:08:55,229
Okay.
231
00:08:55,507 --> 00:08:57,308
- Okay.
- All right, yeah.
232
00:08:57,342 --> 00:08:59,443
I was reading about our Airbnb,
233
00:08:59,477 --> 00:09:01,612
and it said that the
toilet is sensitive,
234
00:09:01,646 --> 00:09:03,655
so maybe don't flush your baby wipes.
235
00:09:03,656 --> 00:09:05,349
Yeah, of course, totally.
236
00:09:05,383 --> 00:09:08,118
Um, hey, earlier, uh, when
you were talking about
237
00:09:08,153 --> 00:09:09,787
how you believed in angels,
238
00:09:09,821 --> 00:09:12,990
you meant, sort of, like
a general, ineffable
239
00:09:13,024 --> 00:09:14,725
sense of spiritual presence, right?
240
00:09:14,759 --> 00:09:18,253
Not... not like magical little
creatures flying around?
241
00:09:18,697 --> 00:09:20,164
What, you mean like fairies?
242
00:09:21,066 --> 00:09:21,732
Yeah, I mean, I...
243
00:09:21,766 --> 00:09:24,335
- Oh, no, no, I'm not a child.
- Okay, all right, okay.
244
00:09:24,369 --> 00:09:25,836
Okay, I was just... I was just checking.
245
00:09:25,871 --> 00:09:26,837
Yeah.
246
00:09:28,340 --> 00:09:31,642
Yeah, no, by angels,
I meant like regular-sized,
247
00:09:31,676 --> 00:09:34,044
celestial beings who look out for us.
248
00:09:34,715 --> 00:09:35,496
Right.
249
00:09:36,047 --> 00:09:41,085
Right, yeah, but not... not with,
like, with halos and wings.
250
00:09:41,119 --> 00:09:43,920
No, they have halos and
wings, they're angels.
251
00:09:44,789 --> 00:09:45,512
Right.
252
00:09:46,391 --> 00:09:48,859
Okay, cool, yeah, no, I was just, um...
253
00:09:48,894 --> 00:09:50,895
I was just checking, so.
254
00:09:50,929 --> 00:09:53,497
Are they goat? Are they dog?
I don't know what they are.
255
00:09:53,531 --> 00:09:56,030
- Okay, guys, guys, guys, guys!
- Shh! Shh!
256
00:09:56,031 --> 00:09:57,935
Two chupacabra sightings,
257
00:09:57,969 --> 00:10:00,070
two remote Mexican villages,
258
00:10:00,105 --> 00:10:02,273
same exact description.
259
00:10:02,307 --> 00:10:04,108
And you know those people
don't have the Internet.
260
00:10:04,142 --> 00:10:05,342
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay, I'm sold.
261
00:10:05,377 --> 00:10:06,710
I'm putting it in real.
262
00:10:06,745 --> 00:10:08,212
You know what should be in mythical?
263
00:10:08,246 --> 00:10:10,014
A man who knows where the G-spot is.
264
00:10:10,048 --> 00:10:11,081
Justine,
265
00:10:11,116 --> 00:10:12,549
contribute, or leave.
266
00:10:12,584 --> 00:10:14,701
It's the third time
you've made that joke.
267
00:10:15,620 --> 00:10:17,521
Oh, so now, we're
lawyering up, is that it?
268
00:10:17,555 --> 00:10:20,155
No, no, no, no. Bruce is a friend.
269
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:21,492
He's here to help us.
270
00:10:21,493 --> 00:10:23,394
It's more like we're "friending" up.
271
00:10:23,428 --> 00:10:24,895
I'm not here to make
anything contentious.
272
00:10:24,930 --> 00:10:26,263
I just want to make sure
273
00:10:26,298 --> 00:10:27,464
there's no misunderstandings
down the road.
274
00:10:27,499 --> 00:10:29,466
See? He's a nice guy.
275
00:10:29,501 --> 00:10:30,935
So, as I understand it,
276
00:10:30,969 --> 00:10:33,304
you both mutually agreed
to this surrogacy, so...
277
00:10:33,338 --> 00:10:35,205
- Mm-hmm.
- If you were to fail to honor
278
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:36,473
your agreement, we would be forced
279
00:10:36,508 --> 00:10:38,475
to go after you with extreme prejudice.
280
00:10:38,510 --> 00:10:40,077
Wait...
281
00:10:40,111 --> 00:10:41,478
Go after me?
282
00:10:41,513 --> 00:10:43,147
I'm sorry, maybe I wasn't being clear.
283
00:10:43,181 --> 00:10:46,083
Um, we would sue you for
every penny that you're worth.
284
00:10:46,117 --> 00:10:48,085
We would own you, 'cause you
mess with Glenn Sturgis,
285
00:10:48,119 --> 00:10:49,653
you get the horns!
286
00:10:49,688 --> 00:10:51,755
Okay, this is not... this is
not what we talked about.
287
00:10:51,790 --> 00:10:53,457
So you either sign this contract,
288
00:10:53,491 --> 00:10:55,225
or we're gonna bury you
under so much paperwork
289
00:10:55,260 --> 00:10:56,593
you're gonna need a machete
290
00:10:56,628 --> 00:10:58,495
to get from your bedroom
to your bathroom!
291
00:10:58,530 --> 00:11:00,297
Well, the joke's on you,
because I keep a machete
292
00:11:00,332 --> 00:11:01,999
in every room in my house.
293
00:11:02,033 --> 00:11:03,667
Okay, we're losing the magic
294
00:11:03,702 --> 00:11:05,502
of the journey that
we're going on together.
295
00:11:05,537 --> 00:11:07,771
Sign the contract, Ms. Fox. You sign it!
296
00:11:07,806 --> 00:11:09,139
You want to come after me, Glenn?
297
00:11:09,174 --> 00:11:10,674
- No.
- Well, bring it on.
298
00:11:10,709 --> 00:11:12,276
And as for you, I have a cousin
at the Bar Association,
299
00:11:12,310 --> 00:11:15,746
so you better pray to God your
CLE credits are up to date.
300
00:11:17,148 --> 00:11:19,316
Well, I think that was
a nice opening bid.
301
00:11:19,351 --> 00:11:21,169
Oh, is this whitefish?
302
00:11:22,487 --> 00:11:24,088
Do you believe in angels?
303
00:11:24,122 --> 00:11:26,623
Uh, which answer leads
to no follow-up questions?
304
00:11:26,658 --> 00:11:27,825
Kelly believes in 'em.
305
00:11:27,859 --> 00:11:29,626
Like believes believes, you know?
306
00:11:29,661 --> 00:11:32,496
It's like wings and halos and harps.
307
00:11:32,530 --> 00:11:34,932
Well, I didn't ask about
harps, but I assume...
308
00:11:34,966 --> 00:11:36,600
So she believes in angels. Who cares?
309
00:11:36,634 --> 00:11:38,769
I don't care, no, I just...
310
00:11:38,803 --> 00:11:40,137
I just think it's interesting, you know,
311
00:11:40,171 --> 00:11:42,373
I mean, I don't believe in angels,
312
00:11:42,407 --> 00:11:44,475
but if she wants to believe in angels,
313
00:11:44,509 --> 00:11:46,977
then I respect that, you know?
314
00:11:47,012 --> 00:11:48,345
Doesn't bother me.
315
00:11:48,380 --> 00:11:52,816
Is that something
you think would bother you?
316
00:11:52,851 --> 00:11:54,852
Maybe, I don't know.
Hey, when do you guys leave?
317
00:11:54,886 --> 00:11:56,620
Because I'm about to
order a 22-foot sub,
318
00:11:56,654 --> 00:11:57,988
and I'd prefer to keep it intact,
319
00:11:58,023 --> 00:12:00,324
so one end has to start in your room.
320
00:12:00,358 --> 00:12:02,993
So there are a couple issues.
321
00:12:03,028 --> 00:12:04,770
Wow, that's complex.
322
00:12:05,196 --> 00:12:07,031
That is [bleep] complex.
323
00:12:07,065 --> 00:12:09,833
Um, your daughter is trying
to have a conversation
324
00:12:09,868 --> 00:12:11,535
with you, so if you could
put the cookie down,
325
00:12:11,569 --> 00:12:13,727
and try to engage meaningfully...
326
00:12:14,672 --> 00:12:17,141
I'm so sorry, I was just
recently in couple's therapy,
327
00:12:17,175 --> 00:12:18,600
and that just popped out.
328
00:12:20,078 --> 00:12:22,880
All right, I'm engaging meaningfully.
329
00:12:23,948 --> 00:12:26,395
I don't want to do a Green Day party.
330
00:12:26,718 --> 00:12:28,252
I thought I asked you to
mind your own business.
331
00:12:28,286 --> 00:12:30,242
This is all Cheyenne,
I'm just here for support.
332
00:12:30,243 --> 00:12:32,423
But she agrees with me, okay?
333
00:12:32,457 --> 00:12:33,757
Green Day is dumb.
334
00:12:33,792 --> 00:12:36,693
And you know what?
I'm not going to college.
335
00:12:36,728 --> 00:12:38,929
What? Huh?
No, we didn't talk about that.
336
00:12:38,963 --> 00:12:40,164
Cheyenne, you're going to college.
337
00:12:40,198 --> 00:12:40,958
No, I'm not.
338
00:12:41,243 --> 00:12:42,699
Just 'cause you're my
mom doesn't mean that
339
00:12:42,734 --> 00:12:44,101
you get to tell me what to do.
340
00:12:44,135 --> 00:12:45,119
Right, Amy?
341
00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:49,039
Um, I mean, in general,
that seems true...
342
00:12:49,074 --> 00:12:50,340
See? She agrees.
343
00:12:50,375 --> 00:12:52,876
I'm an adult, and I
make my own decisions.
344
00:12:52,911 --> 00:12:55,546
And so, I'm gonna buy a motorcycle,
345
00:12:55,580 --> 00:12:58,115
or, I don't know, a monkey, maybe both.
346
00:12:58,149 --> 00:13:00,717
Um, could we just quickly
go back to the college thing...
347
00:13:00,752 --> 00:13:02,286
You don't get to tell
me what to eat, either!
348
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:03,854
So if I want to eat peyote,
349
00:13:03,888 --> 00:13:05,789
I am gonna eat all the peyote I want.
350
00:13:05,824 --> 00:13:08,192
And I'm getting a full-sized back tattoo
351
00:13:08,226 --> 00:13:10,727
of the raccoon from
"Guardians of the Galaxy,"
352
00:13:10,762 --> 00:13:13,664
okay? 'Cause I love that movie, and...
353
00:13:24,901 --> 00:13:27,302
So you're saying reindeers
actually exist,
354
00:13:27,337 --> 00:13:28,904
like, in the real world?
355
00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:31,373
We had a reindeer in the
store on Christmas.
356
00:13:31,407 --> 00:13:33,308
I didn't think it was a real reindeer.
357
00:13:33,343 --> 00:13:34,576
I thought it was a normal deer
358
00:13:34,610 --> 00:13:36,712
with antlers nailed to its head.
359
00:13:36,746 --> 00:13:39,981
Oh, I don't think leprechauns
should be in the real column.
360
00:13:40,016 --> 00:13:41,316
Who knows, though, right?
361
00:13:41,351 --> 00:13:42,818
- What?
- What are you doing?
362
00:13:42,852 --> 00:13:44,486
Is this still about the angel thing?
363
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,555
- Hm?
- Look, I get it.
364
00:13:46,589 --> 00:13:48,623
I mean, it must be hard
to believe in angels
365
00:13:48,658 --> 00:13:50,325
if you've never seen one first-hand.
366
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:53,095
Wait, you've seen an angel?
367
00:13:53,129 --> 00:13:54,679
- Sure have.
- When?
368
00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:56,965
Shh! When?
369
00:13:56,999 --> 00:13:59,634
Well, um, when I was five,
370
00:13:59,669 --> 00:14:01,603
I fell into the indoor pool
371
00:14:01,637 --> 00:14:03,171
at the Silver Dollar City Ramada Inn.
372
00:14:03,206 --> 00:14:04,339
And I mean,
373
00:14:04,374 --> 00:14:06,241
I sank like a brick.
374
00:14:06,275 --> 00:14:09,845
And I remember thinking I'd
never seen my parents again.
375
00:14:09,879 --> 00:14:12,914
When suddenly, this figure appeared.
376
00:14:12,949 --> 00:14:14,282
Did he have wings?
377
00:14:14,317 --> 00:14:15,350
He did have wings.
378
00:14:15,385 --> 00:14:16,752
Knew it. I knew it.
379
00:14:16,786 --> 00:14:19,354
And he sort of was like
floating above me,
380
00:14:19,389 --> 00:14:22,625
as if to say, "You're safe now."
381
00:14:23,059 --> 00:14:25,994
Next thing I know, I'm
back in our hotel room,
382
00:14:26,028 --> 00:14:27,302
dry as a bone.
383
00:14:27,830 --> 00:14:28,864
Oh!
384
00:14:28,898 --> 00:14:30,165
Wow.
385
00:14:30,199 --> 00:14:32,501
That's real.
386
00:14:32,535 --> 00:14:36,304
Is it possible that
the figure was floating
387
00:14:36,339 --> 00:14:39,040
because he was, you know, in a pool?
388
00:14:39,075 --> 00:14:40,709
I know what I saw.
389
00:14:40,743 --> 00:14:44,212
Yeah, and I believe that
you believe that you saw that,
390
00:14:44,247 --> 00:14:48,283
but you were also deprived of
oxygen for a little while...
391
00:14:48,317 --> 00:14:49,500
Why are you doing this?
392
00:14:49,501 --> 00:14:51,853
Because he's jelly
of your peanut butter.
393
00:14:51,888 --> 00:14:55,056
No, no, no, no, no.
I'm not... I'm not jelly, no.
394
00:14:55,091 --> 00:14:58,193
I just... I just think, you know,
maybe what you saw
395
00:14:58,227 --> 00:14:59,740
wasn't, um, an angel.
396
00:14:59,741 --> 00:15:04,618
Maybe what you saw was just
a pasty hotel guest in a robe.
397
00:15:05,268 --> 00:15:06,285
Yeah, maybe.
398
00:15:06,669 --> 00:15:08,370
Mm-hmm. Maybe I'll consider that
399
00:15:08,404 --> 00:15:10,405
when I'm home this weekend, alone.
400
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:12,934
Whoa, whoa, what are
we talking about, now?
401
00:15:13,543 --> 00:15:15,710
Trouble in paradise.
402
00:15:15,745 --> 00:15:17,546
Have you been in the break room all day?
403
00:15:17,580 --> 00:15:19,581
Yeah, I'm just not feeling it today.
404
00:15:19,615 --> 00:15:22,050
Look, I'm sorry, I did not know that
405
00:15:22,084 --> 00:15:23,385
she was gonna say those things.
406
00:15:23,419 --> 00:15:25,320
All I said to her was that
she should be able
407
00:15:25,354 --> 00:15:27,489
to make her own decisions.
But I am not her mom.
408
00:15:27,523 --> 00:15:30,258
And if someone told my
daughter not to listen to me,
409
00:15:30,293 --> 00:15:32,194
well, then, I would be pretty upset.
410
00:15:32,228 --> 00:15:34,262
So, I am sorry.
411
00:15:34,297 --> 00:15:35,530
I just get so worried
412
00:15:35,565 --> 00:15:37,065
she's gonna make
the same mistakes I did.
413
00:15:37,099 --> 00:15:38,667
- Yeah.
- I get so scared
414
00:15:38,701 --> 00:15:40,101
she's gonna end up in jail,
415
00:15:40,136 --> 00:15:43,205
or still working here
when she's our age.
416
00:15:43,239 --> 00:15:44,673
Uh, yeah, I don't...
417
00:15:44,707 --> 00:15:47,108
I don't know that those two
are exactly equivalent.
418
00:15:47,143 --> 00:15:48,376
I don't know which is worse.
419
00:15:48,411 --> 00:15:50,278
Jail, probably.
420
00:15:50,313 --> 00:15:51,422
Well...
421
00:15:53,316 --> 00:15:55,147
Hey, what do you think about Bo?
422
00:15:55,585 --> 00:16:00,288
Uh, I think he is an
interesting individual.
423
00:16:00,323 --> 00:16:01,289
I think he's a loser.
424
00:16:01,324 --> 00:16:03,358
Clown. I mean, "clown"
425
00:16:03,392 --> 00:16:05,427
is the first word that comes to mind.
426
00:16:05,461 --> 00:16:06,795
When I think of him, like,
427
00:16:06,829 --> 00:16:09,564
I half expect my hand to
buzz when he shakes it.
428
00:16:09,599 --> 00:16:11,933
I don't think clowns do that any more,
429
00:16:11,968 --> 00:16:13,201
but that's very funny.
430
00:16:13,236 --> 00:16:14,238
You're funny.
431
00:16:16,515 --> 00:16:17,200
Hey.
432
00:16:18,674 --> 00:16:20,942
Dina, I know things
got a little heated...
433
00:16:20,977 --> 00:16:23,271
Listen, I apologize if I overreacted.
434
00:16:23,679 --> 00:16:25,981
Oh, thank God. Me too.
435
00:16:26,015 --> 00:16:27,883
The things is, I'm gonna go have sex
436
00:16:27,917 --> 00:16:28,984
- with Marcus in a few minutes.
- What?
437
00:16:28,985 --> 00:16:30,886
What?
438
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:32,988
That's the special project
you needed help with?
439
00:16:33,786 --> 00:16:34,422
Sweet!
440
00:16:34,457 --> 00:16:36,224
- Why would you...
- There's just an attraction
441
00:16:36,259 --> 00:16:37,425
there, I can't deny it,
442
00:16:37,460 --> 00:16:38,581
blah, blah, blah, the point is,
443
00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:40,295
maybe I get pregnant, maybe I don't.
444
00:16:40,329 --> 00:16:41,237
Who knows?
445
00:16:41,238 --> 00:16:42,733
So this could be all booked up.
446
00:16:42,734 --> 00:16:43,990
No room at the inn.
447
00:16:43,991 --> 00:16:44,756
You can't do this.
448
00:16:44,757 --> 00:16:48,670
Oh, I am going to with zero protection.
449
00:16:48,704 --> 00:16:49,886
Zero?
450
00:16:50,706 --> 00:16:51,973
Amy and I think you need
451
00:16:52,008 --> 00:16:54,009
to start getting serious
about your life.
452
00:16:54,043 --> 00:16:55,744
So now you're on her side?
453
00:16:55,778 --> 00:16:57,979
No, I'm not on anyone's side.
454
00:16:58,014 --> 00:17:00,348
I just agree with her on this stuff.
455
00:17:00,383 --> 00:17:05,120
So, now I think it's time for
you to engage meaningfully.
456
00:17:05,154 --> 00:17:07,989
You gotta be responsible,
and part of being responsible
457
00:17:08,024 --> 00:17:09,124
means getting rid of Bo.
458
00:17:09,158 --> 00:17:10,162
Wait, what?
459
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:11,793
He's a loser, Amy and I both agree.
460
00:17:11,827 --> 00:17:12,761
You do?
461
00:17:12,795 --> 00:17:15,530
No, uh-uh, I did never call him a loser.
462
00:17:15,565 --> 00:17:17,198
Sorry, I think I'm the one
who called him a loser.
463
00:17:17,233 --> 00:17:18,640
Amy called him a clown.
464
00:17:18,641 --> 00:17:20,669
I don't... I don't know
how this is productive.
465
00:17:20,703 --> 00:17:21,703
How about we get back to the college...
466
00:17:21,737 --> 00:17:23,278
I can't believe you guys.
467
00:17:23,973 --> 00:17:26,940
Amy and I are on the same
page about this one.
468
00:17:27,910 --> 00:17:29,644
I felt like that went so well.
469
00:17:29,679 --> 00:17:31,531
She is so attached to Bo.
470
00:17:32,315 --> 00:17:34,950
Yeah, they are married.
471
00:17:38,434 --> 00:17:39,685
The same rules as last time?
472
00:17:39,686 --> 00:17:42,291
No kissimg, no eye contact, I
leave as soon as you're done?
473
00:17:42,337 --> 00:17:43,670
We're not sleeping together.
474
00:17:43,705 --> 00:17:45,806
That was just a negotiation
tactic with Glenn.
475
00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:48,275
Oh, right.
476
00:17:48,797 --> 00:17:50,611
Of course. Smart.
477
00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:52,571
I mean, if someone actually cared,
478
00:17:52,606 --> 00:17:55,174
it could be super
hurtful, but it's not me.
479
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:58,043
Dina, I'd like you to
meet my new surrogate.
480
00:17:58,078 --> 00:17:59,209
She's ready to rock.
481
00:17:59,210 --> 00:18:00,442
Isn't that right, Sandra?
482
00:18:00,443 --> 00:18:02,485
Yeah, I'm really excited.
483
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:05,539
And I have no problem
signing all the paperwork,
484
00:18:05,540 --> 00:18:07,319
so let's do it.
485
00:18:07,354 --> 00:18:09,426
Sandra, mm-hmm.
You're gonna go with Sandra?
486
00:18:09,427 --> 00:18:10,157
Mm-hmm.
487
00:18:10,158 --> 00:18:12,381
You are gonna leave your baby
at the mercy of a person
488
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:15,861
whose judgment is so bad
she moved from Hawaii
489
00:18:15,896 --> 00:18:16,837
to St. Louis?
490
00:18:16,838 --> 00:18:18,564
Yes, I am.
491
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,956
And as soon as I give Sandra the shot,
492
00:18:21,222 --> 00:18:23,197
our deal is over.
493
00:18:23,198 --> 00:18:24,289
Fine, good.
494
00:18:24,527 --> 00:18:25,580
Marcus!
495
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:28,495
That was just foreplay, all right?
496
00:18:28,502 --> 00:18:29,945
We're about to get this thing going!
497
00:18:29,946 --> 00:18:31,911
Sandra, lift your shirt.
498
00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:33,546
Marcus, take off your shirt!
499
00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:35,714
Fair warning, I still have
a bit of a Thanksgiving paunch
500
00:18:35,749 --> 00:18:37,883
I'm working off.
All right, this is happening.
501
00:18:37,918 --> 00:18:40,452
Oh, oh, oh, well, you know
what else is happening?
502
00:18:40,487 --> 00:18:42,021
This thing over here!
Yeah, look at this!
503
00:18:42,055 --> 00:18:43,289
Here we go!
504
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:45,691
- Take this off!
- Come on, go, go, go!
505
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:47,560
Guys, guys, guys!
506
00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:50,462
You both know what you're
doing, so stop pretending!
507
00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:53,265
Glenn, you obviously
don't want to use Sandra.
508
00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:55,234
Of course I don't want to use Sandra.
509
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:57,017
Who would want to use Sandra?
510
00:18:57,018 --> 00:18:58,625
You think I want to
have sex with Marcus?
511
00:18:58,626 --> 00:19:00,272
He starts every time by saying,
512
00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:01,772
"I'm not really sure what
I'm doing down there."
513
00:19:01,773 --> 00:19:03,520
Oh, sorry for being honest.
514
00:19:03,521 --> 00:19:06,398
Well, both of you clearly
want this, so just get over it.
515
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:07,716
Fine with me.
516
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:09,379
All right.
517
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:16,788
So...
518
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:21,240
I guess we should go back to work.
519
00:19:21,241 --> 00:19:23,495
Are you hitting on me?
520
00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:25,313
I honestly... I can't tell anymore.
521
00:19:26,398 --> 00:19:27,758
Hey.
522
00:19:28,021 --> 00:19:29,966
Hey, join us.
523
00:19:30,530 --> 00:19:32,438
So you two are getting along.
524
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:34,773
Yeah, we worked it all out.
525
00:19:34,808 --> 00:19:36,065
Good, good.
526
00:19:36,066 --> 00:19:38,471
See? All it needed was a little
bit of communication...
527
00:19:38,472 --> 00:19:42,147
Amy, we're gonna need you
to engage meaningfully
528
00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:43,148
for a minute.
529
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:43,982
I'm sorry, what?
530
00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:45,853
Shh! You're not engaging.
531
00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:48,320
Look, I love you, but sometimes,
532
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:50,623
you give a little bit too much advice.
533
00:19:50,657 --> 00:19:53,292
Like, telling me how to spend my money,
534
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:55,160
or that my yearbook quote shouldn't be,
535
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:56,955
"Catch me outside, how 'bout that?"
536
00:19:56,956 --> 00:19:59,331
Yeah, I was just saying that
yearbooks are permanent.
537
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:01,033
You're pushy, you're manipulative,
538
00:20:01,067 --> 00:20:02,768
and you were super mean about Bo.
539
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:06,005
Ooh, are you burning Amy?
I got a good one.
540
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:08,155
Your hair. Boom.
541
00:20:09,592 --> 00:20:10,637
That was harsh.
542
00:20:11,065 --> 00:20:13,370
I don't know, man,
I mean, today it's angels,
543
00:20:13,371 --> 00:20:15,781
tomorrow it's, let's go ghost hunting.
544
00:20:15,815 --> 00:20:17,950
Look, man, Kelly is cool, she's fun,
545
00:20:17,992 --> 00:20:19,115
you guys should go away together.
546
00:20:19,116 --> 00:20:22,210
Yeah, well, maybe we will.
Just not this weekend.
547
00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:23,892
No.
548
00:20:25,225 --> 00:20:26,396
You have something special,
549
00:20:26,397 --> 00:20:27,566
and you're gonna throw it all away
550
00:20:27,567 --> 00:20:29,561
'cause she sees an angel or two?
551
00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:30,693
Are you just saying this because
552
00:20:30,694 --> 00:20:32,414
you don't want to miss out on
your epic gaming weekend
553
00:20:32,415 --> 00:20:34,055
- with Randy?
- Screw the weekend!
554
00:20:34,056 --> 00:20:36,702
This is about you and an amazing woman
555
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,024
that I don't want to see slip away.
556
00:20:38,025 --> 00:20:40,539
Okay, you can drop
the cheesy Rom-Com routine.
557
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:43,166
Jonah, the world is a lonely place.
558
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:45,798
Now, when two people find love,
they need to celebrate...
559
00:20:45,799 --> 00:20:47,313
Ironically, the content of everything
560
00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:48,399
you're saying is true,
561
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,183
but you don't need to...
to dress it up in some...
562
00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:52,851
You have a real shot at happiness,
563
00:20:52,886 --> 00:20:54,353
you dumb son of a bitch.
564
00:20:54,387 --> 00:20:57,189
If you don't take it,
I'll never forgive you.
565
00:20:57,223 --> 00:20:58,549
But more importantly,
566
00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:00,909
you'll never forgive you.
567
00:21:02,650 --> 00:21:04,518
Okay, I'll go talk to Kelly.
568
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,031
You take that shot, man.
569
00:21:06,066 --> 00:21:08,200
You go to her, and you never look back!
570
00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:12,037
I'm going to, but not because
of this thing, okay?
571
00:21:12,072 --> 00:21:13,285
You get her back.
572
00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:19,545
Sorry about that, dawg.
Yes, we are back on.
41932
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