All language subtitles for Foursome.S04.E01.The.Hot.M.E.S.S.RED.WebRip

Andie:
Last season on "Foursome"...

We hit Beach Island
for winter break.

Turns out it was anything
but relaxing.

Woman: I hate to say
that Bags Brayer's own
Andie Fixler's

scorned rival Alec Fixler?

- Andie: We fought...
- Please listen to me.

At least let me
explain myself.

Have you told your friends
you were gonna go to Brayer

to ( bleep ) Alec's sister?

...some of us physically...

Crowd: Ohh!

...but we made it home
in one piece.

Last semester,
karma caught up

and everyone got
what was coming to them.

Greer Ashton,
you're finished here.

What the--?

Andie:
I had a big decision to make

between
my lifelong crush Josh

and my first
real boyfriend Kent.

It was a no-brainer.

It's always
been you, too.

Can't get any more epic
than that,

or can it?

- ( bell rings )
- ( music playing )

Andie:
This semester has been aces.

Once the sand has settled
from our Beach Island break,

the foursome really
settled into our groove.

Ruben is Dakota's
first serious bae,

and the only one who can keep
his toot away.

Court deuced it
to go study abroad.

I really missed her,
but ever since she left,

Mae returned
to a Courtney clone,

so it's almost like
she's still here.

Almost.

As for me and Josh,
it's been smooth sailing

ever since I knocked
on his door and told him,

"It's always been you, too."

After everything
that went down with Kent,

Josh and I are spending
our last semester of school

smooching while steady.

What?
We're waiting on the deed,

but we still have the need.

- ( yelling )
- Greer took an L

but never bounced back.

Let's just say I'm
not exactly shedding tears.

As for Alec,
he tried to make a comeback

but reverted right back
to his bro-zoning,

no-boning rhetoric.

My mom finally wised up,
and is forcing him

to spend the summer
with our cousins.

This semester
has been the dopest,

the mostest,
the greatest,

the best...est...

Andie Fixler.

Where is everyone, Mr. Shaw?

Where's my foursome?

They all graduated, Andie.

You're a junior now.

( voice distorted )
The foursome is over,

over...over!

( ragged breathing )

( music playing )

( upbeat music plays )

( rooster crows )

Took you long enough.

Keep going
to your old room.

You know, it's really nice
of your mom

to give you Alec's
old sweet suite,

but, um, I really hope
she burned his old mattress.

Obviously.
I don't need
more nightmares.

Okay, lay it on me.

The old, uh,
talking corn again?

- No, thank God.
- Mm-hmm.

With Courtney abroad
and Dakota graduated,

I'm gonna be in school
solo next year.

I legit don't know what I'd do
if you were leaving, too.

Luckily SUC is
just a few miles away

because any more and I'd be
in full panic mode, you know?

( chuckles )

You do know
what today is, right?

- Yeah.
- The first day of summer,

which means,
we're finally going to--

Oh, okay, I gotta--

I-- I gotta tell you
something.

Can that wait?
Because this

has been waiting
for five months.

I know, but it just
woudln't feel right

if I didn't
tell you before.

- Okay.
- Okay, before graduating,

I got wait-listed
to this program, VAPA?

And I didn't say anything
because I really

did not think
that I was gonna get in,

- but I did.
- VAPA?

It's the Visual Academy
of Photography and Arts.

It is an awesome program for
up-and-coming photographers.

Is it further than SUC?

Yeah, I mean, a bit...

- It's in Des Moines, Iowa.
- Des Moines?

That was louder
than I intended it to be.

Andie, just breathe.
Are you good?

I know this is gonna be hard,
but we can make this work.

( voice distorted )
Andie? Andie? Andie!

Just gotta be proactive.

If next year's gonna suck,

I'm gonna be damn sure
I got a straw.

- ( slurping loudly )
- ( music playing )

- Excuse me.
- Andie Fixler!

( laughs )
Hot dog!

So you just come
to hang out?

I know you're not signing up
for summer school.

You know nothing,
Steven Shaw.

I am here for summer school.

I need to clear up
my school "schedge"

to have free periods
junior year

so that I can go visit
Courtney, Dakota, and Josh.

So what if Courtney's
in Yemen?

I'll figure it out, Shaw.

I'll figure it out!
I'll figure it out.

- Sure.
- Put me on the list.

Right away.

Hi.

Hey.
So, you're gonna--

Yeah, and I'm guessing
you're gonna--

Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna--
this is the most amount of time

we're gonna spend together
ever since--

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

D, I'm living
for the jacket I made you.

Show me.

Yes, my wig is orbiting Mars,
you bitch.

It's just a matter of time
before a modeling scout

sweeps me off to New York.

You know, I made
an Abercrombie greeter faint.

Let them have it.

If Tiffany can get scouted
at the mall

and have a short-lived
but wild career,

it can happen for you, too.

Aww! Still honeymooning
five months later?

Honeymoon? More like
moon over my honey.

He likes a butt eclipse.

Speaking of,
aren't you supposed to be

on your honeymoon right now?

I'm signing up
for summer school

since Josh just dropped the bomb
that he's going to VAPA.

Josh got into VAPA?

It's the Miami of Ohio
for photography schools.

What am I gonna do
without everyone?

Ruben's a junior, too.
You'll hang out with her, right?

Since we're about to be
in summer school together,

let's take it slow,
see how much

you get in the way
of my Ivy League ambitions.

God, you already know I'm gonna
be a mega-distraction.

Next year's gonna suck major!

Who am I gonna have
to hang out with?

( rock music playing )

I'm back at Brayer!
Whoa!

Wynn Roberts?

Here we go again.

Andie, you're
to stay away from her.

Your white bread is not
meant to have butter.

Andie friggin' Fixler.

What is up?

- Ohh!
- ( Andie grunts )

I haven't seen you
since elementary!

Wynn Roberts,
you are the answer

to all of
my junior year problems.

Please tell me you're not just
coming back for summer school.

You're coming back to Brayer
next year, yeah?

Unfortunately, I got expelled
from my last gig,

St. Jennifer's School
for Mixed-Up Gals.

See?
Expelled!

She ain't got
no limits, Andie.

She's Bradley Cooper
in "Limitless."

You do remember what happened
last time we were all friends?

I had the best summer
of my life?

She almost got you
suspended.

Um, our teach asked us
to participate

in setting the scene

for a "realistic" fire drill,

so I set one.

You don't get more realistic
than that, am I wrong?

By its very definition.

Treehouse. Midnight.
Be there.

( heroic music playing )

Oh, ten-year-old Andie.
If only you knew.

Damn.

12-year-old Dakota
got some.

The Hot M.E.S.

Man, we really had
the most epic summer,

and we're about to make it
a sequel.

Wow, never thought I'd be
in this treehouse again.

Blast from the frickin'
past, man!

Oh, hey, surprise
bean bag attack!

- ( cat yowls )
- I thought we mutually agreed

to steer clear of each other.

Well, I figured
I owed you one, 'cause of the--

- Fire stuff?
- ( laughs ) No.

No, you guys were
really good friends to me,

and cutting you out of my life
seven years ago

probably wasn't
the coolest move.

I just--
I hate good-byes, okay?

Just through-the-roof sadness.
Come here! I just miss you!

Silence doesn't live
in the treehouse.

That's why I called
a midnight meetup.

Wynn, your re-entry
has sparked a scheme,

and it's epic!

The only spark Wynn
ever provided...

Was the fire!
See?

It was a lasting memory.

Still don't get
why I got in trouble.

Fires aside, for months
I've been feeling #hopeless

knowing that my junior year
is gonna blow without my BFFs,

and there's nothing
I can do about it, right?

- Uh huh.
- Yep, it sucks to suck.

Wrong!
Do you guys remember

the summer before Alec and I

went to the same school
for the first time?

What was the one thing
that made me feel better?

Both: The Hot M.E.S.!

That's right.
The Hot M.E.S.,

the Most Epic Summer.

One look at Wynn,
and I remembered the summer

that made me forget
all of my problems.

I could live off that high

for my remaining
high school years.

So what do you say?
Let's Hot M.E.S. it!

I think this calls
for a Dakota confessional.

We haven't used
that room in years.

Confessional!

The only reason why I came back
to this lame treehouse

is to get this...
and to make sure

Wynn doesn't snake her way
back onto our grass.

That is the only
hot mess we're talking about.

That bitch
is a loose cannon.

She always causing problems.

Last time our friendship
went south,

guess who was there
to pick up the pieces?

Courtney.
And now that she's gone,

guess who's gonna have to?
Me, dummies!

Dakota, this is
a hollowed-out tree.

We heard every word you said.

- That is correct.
- Besides,

I'm glad that Wynn is back.

She helps me have fun,
and that's exactly

what the sum needs to equal.

You're down to do the list,
right, Wynn?

Nope. Nope!

Oh, this place
tests my willpower!

Okay, Andie,
this is my last chance

to get it right,
to stay in school,

to stay not expelled,
to show my moms

that I mean business.

The last time
we did this list,

I got in trouble,
so this time,

I'm saying "Wynn out!"

Ugh!

I am so glad
that trash ant is gone.

But I gotta go too.
I don't have time for

"Get paid with lemonade."

Mm, I gotta go make time
to get lemon-laid.

And my main squeeze
waiting for me, so...

I know you get it, girl.
( snaps )

- I'll do it.
- Ahh!

Mae? How do you even know
about this place?

It's not lemonade.

( heroic music playing )

( tires screech )

- How'd you find me?
- We grew up together, Wynn.

I know you. Plus,
you checked in on Facebook.

What do you want?

To remind you
of how epic this is!

( line ringing )

- This is Greer.
- No!

I made a promise
to my moms.

The last time we played
Prank the Skank,

I called the skank,
and I asked,

"Is your refrigerator
running?"

And she said, "Why, yes,"
and then I told her

to ( bleep ) a doll
while she ( bleep ) her mom

and then she ( bleep )
the street,

and seven oversized
( long bleep )

and then ( bleep ).

I became the literal face
of an anti-bullying campaign.

Wynn, you coming back
feels like destiny.

Destiny is just
a stripper's first name.

( music playing )

Andie. Andie, hey.
Hey, hold on.

Hey, slow your roll, I've been
looking for you all day.

We gotta talk about
me going to college.

We will, but first
I need to ensure

this summer break
makes me quake, 'kay?

Are you sure you're not
just putting this off?

Nope, dealing with it
head on.

Okay, but we're gonna
rain check, right?

'Cause I want to make sure
we're good.

Oh, we're fine!
Just wait for me in my room.

- I appreciate you.
- Okay.

Oh!

Oh, my jewels.
Oh!

( music playing )

And one Fuzzy Bunny!

Can I see some ID?

( laughs )
That's good. You're good.

You know the bartender.

He dated Courtney,
but she's in Greece or whatever,

and now he's just
so thirsty to hang.

You were
our friend's boyfriend!

- That is all!
- Bartender: Ha! That's funny!

Is it too sad to make out
in a rabbit themed bar?

Hmm, I'll allow it.

- And she's back.
- Girlfriend likes to watch.

When we were kids,
we were convinced

that milk chugs
led to big jugs.

I get it.
Every kid wants a C cup.

Andie, we're at a bar.

Why would I chug milk
when I can chug a beer?

Did someone say beers?

- Get lost, you clinger!
- All right.

- Leave the beers.
- Come on, chug the jug!

Drink it!
It'll be fun.

Remember how much
fun it was?

It'll be just
like that again.

It was fun
when we were kids, Andie,

but do you know
what's more fun now?

Try it, girl.
You need it.

Upgrade.

That's it.
Upgrade.

- ( Wynn clears throat )
- Both: What are you doing here?

Andie texted me.

- Parent trapped.
- Andie: Hey, guys.

I take it Ryan Gosling's
not actually here.

She told me it was
Jonathan Ke Quan!

Sorry guys,
but I had to get you here.

It finally clicked
why the Hot M.E.S.

didn't entice your spice.

Turns out you were right,
Dakota.

Kid stuff is not gonna
make this summer epic,

which is why
we're upgrading it to...

the sequel!
For example,

number 33 was...

Ooh, I remember that.

That's when we snuck into
our very first R-rated flick.

Andie, I told you
I was "no" on the list.

- I'm out of here.
- Wait, wait.

Just hear me out, okay?

We can upgrade
to "sneak XXX peek."

You want me to break
into a triple-X?

Okay, I'm not an expert
on what gets you in trouble,

versus what doesn't,
but, uh,

that seems like a sure bet!

I can get my jungle bungled
at home, Andie.

You guys,
I really need this.

Without the Hot M.E.S.,

I know how I'm gonna be
spending my summer,

just agonizing over next year
without friends.

I just want to feel
how we felt

the first time
we did the list,

but if you guys really don't
want to do it, it's fine.

Whatever.
We'll drop it.

If the Hot M.E.S.
means that much to you

I'm willing to sequel it,

because you mean
that much to me.

Thanks, Dakota.
Wynn?

I can't do the list
without you.

You're the reason why I did
half the items the first time.

Since I ghosted you guys,

I haven't had a solid
group of friends since.

I just knew that
no one could live up to

the amount of fun
that we had together.

I may be iffy
on the list still,

but I'm a hundred on you guys.

- Let's do it!
- Yeah!

Welcome to the jungle, baby!

♪ Your waiter ♪

♪ Tip your waiter ♪

♪ Tip your waiter ♪

♪ Tip your waiter ♪

♪ Now tip the strippers ♪

♪ Tip the strippers ♪

♪ Tip the strippers ♪

♪ Tip the strippers ♪

( cheers, applause )

Wow.

♪ Your bartenders ♪

- ♪ You like this song? ♪
- Yeah!

D-d-d-deejay Pinkgasm
in the house!

Who's ready
for a jungle bungle?

( cheers, applause )

Gentlemen and... gentlemen,

I ask that you guys
keep all of your hands

in your pants at all time.

Please remember
that the animals are animals

and we're about to make it
rainforest

all over your underdogs.

- Now who's ready
to get soaked...
- Yeah!

...and meet the Bungles
from the Jungle?

- Ahh!
- It seems like it's
for gay dudes.

- Ya think?
- First up,

from Iguazu, Argentina,
we have Tarz-man!

( cheering )

Oh, my goodness! It looks like
the jeep has overturned
and the animals are loose.

Don't worry.
So are you.

( screaming )

( indistinct chatter )

- Okay.
- ( grunting )

Yeah! Whoo!

( music playing )

( gasps )
I love that song.

All righty,
my mad little monkeys.

I have Randy-utans over here
that got Bungle Bite,

and the only way to cure them
is to dance to a track called...

"Never, Never."

Both: Talent show!

- Do you guys remember
the moves?
- I choreographed this noise.

- Respect!
- Wait, Wynn, I could barely
of this at tryouts.

I can't dance in front
of all these people.

I thought I helped you
have fun.

Were those just words
or am I here for
a goddamn reason?

( music playing )

( chuckles )
Oh, my God!

♪ I've heard it all before ♪

♪ I can't take no more ♪

♪ Girl let me show you
how much I have changed ♪

♪ Don't walk away ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ I want you to stay ♪

♪ Never gonna stop
never gonna drop ♪

♪ Never gonna let you go,
even though you say so ♪

♪ Whoa-oh,
baby, please say no ♪

- ♪ Don't go ♪
- Brayer Elementary School,
bitches!

Elementary school?
How old are you guys?

Run!

Oh, come on!
Who keeps letting kids in here?

- It's not actually a zoo!
- ( laughter )

I can't believe
I just did that.

- Who am I with you?
- ( laughter )

Oh, Wynn, oh!
I hate you!

Your triple extreme emotions
are contagious!

( laughter )

That alligator really knew how
to use its teeth.

So, do you see?
The Hot M.E.S.S. Struck Again
was even better than before.

We didn't get in trouble
and I still got spanked.

I can't wait
for the next item.

Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Let's upgrade Swing and Sing
to Sex Swing.

Oh, oh, oh!
No, Sex Sing! Ooh, sex!

Or-- or Marco Polo
to Throw a Kid In the Pool
and Tell No One.

Ooh, how about-- shit!

I told Josh to wait in my room
five hours ago.

Meet you guys tomorrow night
at...

- All: Midnight!
- ( laughter )

♪ In the light
I see the dark ♪

♪ I'm a believer ♪

You make your summer break
quake yet?

Hey, I'm sorry that I didn't
make time to talk to you
about you leaving today.

I just can't imagine
what I'm going to do
without you.

Ands, the only thing
that's never going to change
is how I feel about you.

Besides, we've overcome
bigger obstacles than distance.

Today's not
technically over yet.

Well, after midnight,
so that's incorrect.

First day of summer
here me come-r.

- Oh! Ow!
- What did I do?

No, no, no, it's not you.
The bike got me good.

I'm saddle sore, big time.

Well, we already
waited five months.

- What's another day?
- Yeah. ( grunts )

Might be more
like a week.

( music playing )

All: Mae!

( chittering )