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1
00:00:05,437 --> 00:00:07,242
Yes!
2
00:00:07,267 --> 00:00:08,769
I got the highest score in the class
3
00:00:08,794 --> 00:00:10,901
so I get to pick the movie
for "Feature Friday."
4
00:00:10,926 --> 00:00:12,456
Congratulations, Sweetheart.
5
00:00:12,481 --> 00:00:14,666
You studied so hard
for that vocabulary test
6
00:00:14,691 --> 00:00:16,691
and it paid off.
7
00:00:16,716 --> 00:00:18,629
Franklin, we'll need to brainstorm
8
00:00:18,654 --> 00:00:20,020
movie options during recess.
9
00:00:20,045 --> 00:00:22,917
Okay, but the only movie
I've ever seen is "Soapdish."
10
00:00:23,723 --> 00:00:26,942
Uch. Tara, Sage, Jennifer, and Holly.
11
00:00:27,012 --> 00:00:29,682
It's like if The Beatles
were made up entirely of Yokos.
12
00:00:29,707 --> 00:00:31,410
Look at what she's wearing.
13
00:00:31,442 --> 00:00:33,610
She's not even wearing a bra.
14
00:00:33,649 --> 00:00:35,782
Who cares if I'm not wearing a...
15
00:00:37,923 --> 00:00:39,892
I'll have you plant-based idiots know
16
00:00:39,924 --> 00:00:41,393
that I am wearing a bra today.
17
00:00:41,426 --> 00:00:43,291
This is just as high as they go now.
18
00:00:43,338 --> 00:00:46,608
It's brave of you to share
something so sad,
19
00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:47,986
but we weren't talking about you.
20
00:00:48,011 --> 00:00:50,086
Who else would you be
insulting if not me?
21
00:00:50,111 --> 00:00:51,913
Her.
22
00:00:57,519 --> 00:00:59,821
How does she have wind blowing
gently through her hair?
23
00:00:59,854 --> 00:01:01,522
We're in an enclosed space.
24
00:01:01,555 --> 00:01:03,025
Who cares about her hair?
25
00:01:03,058 --> 00:01:05,160
Check out all that... cleave.
26
00:01:05,192 --> 00:01:06,160
Yowza.
27
00:01:06,193 --> 00:01:07,162
Who is she?
28
00:01:07,195 --> 00:01:08,897
Harper the home wrecker.
29
00:01:08,930 --> 00:01:11,833
She's Insignia Vaillancourt's
new step-mom.
30
00:01:11,866 --> 00:01:13,434
Not a name. That's not a name.
31
00:01:13,467 --> 00:01:15,204
She busted up Claude
and Michelle's marriage
32
00:01:15,237 --> 00:01:16,839
and now she's prancing around Westport
33
00:01:16,871 --> 00:01:18,005
smiling at people,
34
00:01:18,038 --> 00:01:19,741
volunteering at the animal shelter.
35
00:01:19,775 --> 00:01:21,510
It's disgusting.
36
00:01:21,543 --> 00:01:24,379
There's finally someone
they hate more than me.
37
00:01:24,412 --> 00:01:26,214
Harper obviously married for money.
38
00:01:26,247 --> 00:01:27,105
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
39
00:01:27,130 --> 00:01:28,809
But you sure didn't.
40
00:01:29,677 --> 00:01:33,079
Okay, maybe she's just someone
they hate as much as me.
41
00:01:33,790 --> 00:01:36,345
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
42
00:01:40,395 --> 00:01:44,098
I love seeing the Westport moms
freak out about Harper.
43
00:01:44,132 --> 00:01:45,701
Nothing scares those be-yatches
44
00:01:45,734 --> 00:01:47,735
like a trophy wife blowing into town.
45
00:01:47,769 --> 00:01:48,970
They think their husbands
will trade them in
46
00:01:49,004 --> 00:01:51,472
- for a younger model, too.
- That is so sad.
47
00:01:51,505 --> 00:01:52,707
It is funny.
48
00:01:54,942 --> 00:01:56,744
Oh, d-did you say sad?
49
00:01:56,778 --> 00:01:58,080
Since I moved to this town,
50
00:01:58,112 --> 00:02:01,048
these women have dedicated
their lives to judging me
51
00:02:01,082 --> 00:02:02,918
and making me feel like an outcast.
52
00:02:02,951 --> 00:02:05,888
They make fun of your clothes,
your hair, your makeup,
53
00:02:05,921 --> 00:02:07,722
the sound of your pleather wallet
54
00:02:07,756 --> 00:02:09,591
sliding out of your pleather bag.
55
00:02:09,624 --> 00:02:12,761
Sicking Harper on them is
my chance for a little payback.
56
00:02:12,793 --> 00:02:15,096
Mm-hmm. Make them feel
like they make you feel.
57
00:02:15,130 --> 00:02:17,098
You two aren't worried
about Greg or Richard
58
00:02:17,131 --> 00:02:18,800
getting any ideas about trading you in?
59
00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:20,302
Greg would never cheat on me.
60
00:02:20,334 --> 00:02:21,803
Fool loves me too much.
61
00:02:21,836 --> 00:02:23,405
And Richard has a healthy fear
of diseases.
62
00:02:23,437 --> 00:02:25,173
Mm. Oh, thank God for
those herpes commercials
63
00:02:25,207 --> 00:02:26,174
during "NCIS."
64
00:02:26,208 --> 00:02:28,109
Ohh, hey, look.
65
00:02:28,143 --> 00:02:29,478
Let's start messing with them right now.
66
00:02:29,511 --> 00:02:31,030
Ask me how I look so young for my age.
67
00:02:31,055 --> 00:02:32,181
Ask me loudly.
68
00:02:32,214 --> 00:02:35,317
Angela, you look so young for your age.
69
00:02:35,350 --> 00:02:36,751
What's your secret?
70
00:02:36,785 --> 00:02:38,320
Oh, you wouldn't believe me.
71
00:02:38,352 --> 00:02:39,487
Baby pee.
72
00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,656
An infant's urine is better than BOTOX.
73
00:02:41,690 --> 00:02:42,958
I mean, that's just science.
74
00:02:42,990 --> 00:02:45,693
Science? Isn't that what doctors use?
75
00:02:45,727 --> 00:02:48,197
Sure is. Just take a wet diaper
76
00:02:48,229 --> 00:02:50,465
and rub it all over your face
77
00:02:50,497 --> 00:02:52,344
twice a night, five to ten minutes.
78
00:02:53,535 --> 00:02:55,270
I mean, for a fifty-five year old woman
79
00:02:55,310 --> 00:02:58,306
you look fantastic!
80
00:02:58,340 --> 00:02:59,708
Do you think that they're going for it?
81
00:02:59,740 --> 00:03:00,942
Just to be sure...
82
00:03:00,976 --> 00:03:03,612
Oh, my... You're sixty-five?!
83
00:03:03,644 --> 00:03:05,012
Ow!
84
00:03:05,046 --> 00:03:06,215
Grandma took her Geritol.
85
00:03:09,550 --> 00:03:12,620
I have to pick the perfect movie
for "Feature Friday."
86
00:03:12,654 --> 00:03:14,957
Okay, so which one of these movies
87
00:03:14,989 --> 00:03:16,891
do you think most represents me...
88
00:03:16,924 --> 00:03:19,126
"Matilda," "The Sound of Music"...
89
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:21,395
Ooo, "The Sound of Music."
90
00:03:21,429 --> 00:03:24,733
I once had a layover in Miami
with Christopher Plummer.
91
00:03:24,766 --> 00:03:25,701
Mm.
92
00:03:25,733 --> 00:03:28,691
He made my hills come alive.
93
00:03:29,504 --> 00:03:30,940
That one's coming off the list.
94
00:03:34,576 --> 00:03:36,311
Did you ever notice your mom
makes everything about herself?
95
00:03:36,344 --> 00:03:38,013
No, Greg. I've never met my mom.
96
00:03:38,046 --> 00:03:40,148
Well, I've had enough.
She's living here now,
97
00:03:40,180 --> 00:03:41,916
she needs to take an interest
in our lives.
98
00:03:41,949 --> 00:03:43,719
She knows your name
and where we keep the vermouth.
99
00:03:43,751 --> 00:03:45,853
That's as interested as she gets.
100
00:03:45,887 --> 00:03:47,489
- Where are you going?
- There's a new mom at school
101
00:03:47,522 --> 00:03:49,024
and I'm going to go welcome her
102
00:03:49,056 --> 00:03:50,424
and encourage her to get involved.
103
00:03:50,458 --> 00:03:52,526
- Oh, that's nice of you.
- Uh-huh.
104
00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:53,528
What's your ulterior motive?
105
00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:55,363
- Revenge.
- Oh, the usual.
106
00:03:57,933 --> 00:03:59,101
Will you guys help me get Grandma
107
00:03:59,133 --> 00:04:00,768
to stop thinking about herself
for one minute
108
00:04:00,802 --> 00:04:02,237
and ask a question about one of us?
109
00:04:02,269 --> 00:04:03,338
Sure, and while we're at it,
110
00:04:03,370 --> 00:04:04,572
we can get her to stop telling us
111
00:04:04,606 --> 00:04:07,074
all the old-timey celebrities
she mile-highed with.
112
00:04:07,108 --> 00:04:08,443
That would never happen.
113
00:04:08,476 --> 00:04:09,845
I was being sarcastic.
114
00:04:09,877 --> 00:04:11,512
Well, stop it. It's confusing.
115
00:04:11,546 --> 00:04:13,215
Come on, guys, we can do this. Teamwork.
116
00:04:13,247 --> 00:04:15,972
Gooooooooo...!
117
00:04:15,997 --> 00:04:18,186
I'll-get-you-guys-iTunes-
gift-cards-if-you-help-meeee...!
118
00:04:18,218 --> 00:04:20,972
Gooooo Ottos!
119
00:04:25,427 --> 00:04:27,763
Hi. I'm Katie Otto.
120
00:04:27,795 --> 00:04:30,097
My daughter Anna-Kat
is in the same class
121
00:04:30,131 --> 00:04:31,299
as your stepdaughter...
122
00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:33,434
Em... blem?
123
00:04:33,467 --> 00:04:34,735
- Oh, Insignia.
- Mm.
124
00:04:34,768 --> 00:04:36,604
Emblem isn't a name.
125
00:04:36,638 --> 00:04:38,573
Of course, I feel so silly.
126
00:04:38,605 --> 00:04:41,409
I made you some cookies.
127
00:04:41,443 --> 00:04:43,946
Aw, that is so sweet.
128
00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:44,813
No one's really reached out to me
129
00:04:44,845 --> 00:04:45,646
since I moved here.
130
00:04:45,679 --> 00:04:47,581
They just look at me and whisper.
131
00:04:47,614 --> 00:04:49,550
Harper, I don't just have cookies.
132
00:04:49,583 --> 00:04:51,119
I have advice.
133
00:04:51,152 --> 00:04:52,654
I was iced out by the Westport moms
134
00:04:52,686 --> 00:04:53,821
when we first moved here too,
135
00:04:53,854 --> 00:04:56,458
but then I threw a fantastic Spring Gala
136
00:04:56,491 --> 00:04:57,893
and now everyone loves me.
137
00:04:57,926 --> 00:04:59,661
So, what should I do?
138
00:04:59,693 --> 00:05:01,763
You need to put your stamp on the school
139
00:05:01,795 --> 00:05:03,731
with a high-profile volunteer gig.
140
00:05:03,765 --> 00:05:05,500
- Do you work?
- You're funny.
141
00:05:05,532 --> 00:05:06,934
I like that.
142
00:05:08,102 --> 00:05:10,138
And you need to get to know
all the moms.
143
00:05:10,170 --> 00:05:11,305
And dads, too.
144
00:05:11,338 --> 00:05:12,940
- I love that idea.
- Mm-hmm.
145
00:05:12,974 --> 00:05:15,644
I always say, "Volunteering
is our soul's way
146
00:05:15,677 --> 00:05:17,979
of animating gratitude
for our blessings."
147
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:20,816
Monogram is so lucky
to have you as a step-mom.
148
00:05:20,849 --> 00:05:22,517
- Insignia.
- Her, too.
149
00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:27,621
Oof. I had a day you would not believe.
150
00:05:27,655 --> 00:05:29,624
You know what I can't believe?
151
00:05:29,657 --> 00:05:31,460
How good I look in these jeans.
152
00:05:31,492 --> 00:05:33,294
Am I right?
153
00:05:37,131 --> 00:05:39,300
Hey, Grandma, quick question.
154
00:05:39,333 --> 00:05:41,102
For my tattoo... do I go full-sleeve
155
00:05:41,136 --> 00:05:42,838
or just a treasure map on my back?
156
00:05:42,871 --> 00:05:44,272
A tattoo?
157
00:05:45,239 --> 00:05:47,441
I'll show you a tattoo.
158
00:05:48,542 --> 00:05:49,977
I got this in Dublin.
159
00:05:50,011 --> 00:05:52,114
It's a rainbow
with a pot of gold at the end.
160
00:05:52,146 --> 00:05:53,481
I don't see a pot of gold.
161
00:05:53,515 --> 00:05:54,549
Oh, well, that part's hidden.
162
00:06:01,922 --> 00:06:04,025
Shhhh.
163
00:06:07,895 --> 00:06:09,196
Shhh!
164
00:06:16,438 --> 00:06:18,507
Hey, Katie.
165
00:06:18,540 --> 00:06:22,710
Holly. Jennifer, Sage... Darth Vegan.
166
00:06:22,744 --> 00:06:24,479
Man, what smells like...
167
00:06:24,511 --> 00:06:26,180
Baby pee! They're doing it!
168
00:06:26,213 --> 00:06:27,481
These idiots are doing it!
169
00:06:27,515 --> 00:06:29,584
You all look so great!
170
00:06:29,616 --> 00:06:32,520
You really must be pampering yourselves.
171
00:06:32,554 --> 00:06:34,589
I gotta remember to tell that
to Doris and Angela.
172
00:06:34,621 --> 00:06:36,424
Good morning. This is Harper
173
00:06:36,458 --> 00:06:38,160
and she's volunteered to be room mom
174
00:06:38,193 --> 00:06:40,495
for Mr. Lombardo's class.
175
00:06:40,528 --> 00:06:42,496
Oh, the room mom has to have
a ton of interaction
176
00:06:42,530 --> 00:06:43,765
with us parents
so I think we need someone
177
00:06:43,797 --> 00:06:44,833
who knows their way around more.
178
00:06:44,866 --> 00:06:46,868
But thanks!
179
00:06:46,900 --> 00:06:48,169
That's why Harper wanted the job.
180
00:06:48,203 --> 00:06:49,703
To get to know the parents better.
181
00:06:49,737 --> 00:06:50,939
I think it's a capital idea.
182
00:06:50,972 --> 00:06:52,340
Aww, thanks, Principal Ablin.
183
00:06:52,373 --> 00:06:53,909
She knows my name.
184
00:06:54,775 --> 00:06:56,011
And thank you, Katie.
185
00:06:56,044 --> 00:06:57,779
I never would
have volunteered for room mom
186
00:06:57,811 --> 00:06:59,780
if it wasn't for your guidance.
187
00:06:59,814 --> 00:07:01,917
I can't wait to spend a lot of time
188
00:07:01,950 --> 00:07:04,153
with all you amazing moms.
189
00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:07,509
And your husbands!
190
00:07:15,496 --> 00:07:17,631
After careful consideration,
191
00:07:17,665 --> 00:07:20,035
I have chosen my movie
for "Feature Friday."
192
00:07:20,068 --> 00:07:24,072
Franklin, the envelope, please?
193
00:07:24,104 --> 00:07:26,374
This is a clipboard.
194
00:07:26,407 --> 00:07:28,410
I told you to grab an envelope.
195
00:07:28,443 --> 00:07:30,445
My mom said
I can't use envelopes anymore.
196
00:07:30,477 --> 00:07:31,946
I like the taste of the glue too much.
197
00:07:31,979 --> 00:07:33,247
Oh, Franklin.
198
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:36,584
If you didn't have
those Ed Sheeran good looks.
199
00:07:36,617 --> 00:07:38,487
And the winner is...
200
00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:39,955
Please be "Soapdish."
Please be "Soapdish."
201
00:07:39,987 --> 00:07:40,955
Please be "Soapdish."
202
00:07:40,989 --> 00:07:42,823
"The Goonies"!
203
00:07:42,857 --> 00:07:44,993
Perfect movie! The fat kid
was named Chunk,
204
00:07:45,025 --> 00:07:46,961
the slow guy was named Sloth.
205
00:07:46,994 --> 00:07:48,229
Oh, it was back
when you could just call 'em
206
00:07:48,263 --> 00:07:49,464
like you saw 'em.
207
00:07:50,864 --> 00:07:52,800
Are you reading a school email?
208
00:07:52,833 --> 00:07:54,835
I thought you said we were
forbidden from doing that.
209
00:07:54,869 --> 00:07:55,837
Mnh-mnh, it's from Harper.
210
00:07:55,869 --> 00:07:57,838
She's calling a mandatory parent meeting
211
00:07:57,871 --> 00:07:59,907
of "The Feelings Council" tomorrow.
212
00:07:59,941 --> 00:08:01,977
- What's that?
- No idea.
213
00:08:02,009 --> 00:08:03,577
But those Westport dopes
will be there feeling bad
214
00:08:03,611 --> 00:08:05,147
about themselves, so I'm in.
215
00:08:05,179 --> 00:08:06,648
You're a mom, you have a job...
216
00:08:06,681 --> 00:08:08,782
is undermining their marriages
the best use of your time?
217
00:08:08,816 --> 00:08:10,785
You make time for things
that are important, Greg.
218
00:08:15,355 --> 00:08:16,357
You're first, Grandma. Pick a card
219
00:08:16,391 --> 00:08:17,926
and ask me a question.
220
00:08:17,958 --> 00:08:20,461
Well, this seems silly, but okay.
221
00:08:22,229 --> 00:08:24,633
If you could have dinner
with anyone, dead or alive,
222
00:08:24,665 --> 00:08:25,966
who would it be?
223
00:08:25,999 --> 00:08:27,701
- Well...
- Marilyn Monroe.
224
00:08:27,734 --> 00:08:29,770
- No, I'm supposed to...
- She had an intimate relationship
225
00:08:29,804 --> 00:08:31,873
with some of the most powerful
men in America.
226
00:08:31,906 --> 00:08:32,874
And plus,
227
00:08:32,907 --> 00:08:34,942
I'd love to compare notes on Brando.
228
00:08:34,975 --> 00:08:36,878
- No, Kathryn, the other person...
- Next question!
229
00:08:36,911 --> 00:08:39,948
Oh. Well, easy: flight.
230
00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:41,715
Why would I waste a superpower
on invisible
231
00:08:41,749 --> 00:08:42,984
when I look like this?
232
00:08:44,819 --> 00:08:46,121
Bury the body in the desert,
233
00:08:46,153 --> 00:08:47,955
burn the car, head for Rosarito.
234
00:08:47,989 --> 00:08:49,891
That's what you would do
if someone asked you
235
00:08:49,923 --> 00:08:52,693
- to go Dutch on the first date?
- Yeah.
236
00:08:52,726 --> 00:08:54,696
How is this even a question?
237
00:08:54,729 --> 00:08:56,297
I'd save myself and let the school bus
238
00:08:56,330 --> 00:08:57,331
go over the cliff.
239
00:08:58,832 --> 00:09:00,734
You're right, this really is fun.
240
00:09:03,837 --> 00:09:06,407
Feelings Council is an ancient ritual,
241
00:09:06,441 --> 00:09:07,809
born at Coachella Fest,
242
00:09:07,841 --> 00:09:09,877
to create an inclusive space
243
00:09:09,911 --> 00:09:13,715
through community, mindfulness,
and gratitude.
244
00:09:13,748 --> 00:09:14,983
Isn't she fun?
245
00:09:15,015 --> 00:09:16,684
She's so free and open.
246
00:09:16,718 --> 00:09:18,353
Every woman her age is.
247
00:09:18,385 --> 00:09:21,422
Tinder is swimming with Harpers.
248
00:09:21,455 --> 00:09:22,523
Do you want me to send you the link?
249
00:09:22,556 --> 00:09:23,258
I'm gonna send you the link.
250
00:09:25,759 --> 00:09:27,662
Did you all feel that?
251
00:09:27,695 --> 00:09:29,864
We just raised our universal vibration.
252
00:09:29,897 --> 00:09:31,532
Did you feel that, honey?
253
00:09:31,566 --> 00:09:32,834
Oh, I felt it.
254
00:09:32,867 --> 00:09:34,236
I so felt it.
255
00:09:34,268 --> 00:09:36,037
I felt it, too.
256
00:09:36,070 --> 00:09:39,107
Sweetie, someone asked me
the other day if I was bulimic.
257
00:09:39,974 --> 00:09:41,209
The Class Council must start
258
00:09:41,242 --> 00:09:43,245
with our opening rituals...
259
00:09:43,278 --> 00:09:44,412
The gong,
260
00:09:44,445 --> 00:09:46,748
an offering of water
for our ancestors...
261
00:09:46,781 --> 00:09:49,883
and a talking stick.
262
00:09:49,917 --> 00:09:51,253
Now, in council,
263
00:09:51,286 --> 00:09:56,224
only the being holding
the talking stick may speak.
264
00:09:56,257 --> 00:09:58,927
She kind of makes you feel
old and ugly, doesn't she?
265
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:00,228
Not the universal you.
266
00:10:00,260 --> 00:10:01,729
You, in particular.
267
00:10:01,763 --> 00:10:03,297
You're gonna pay for this,
268
00:10:03,330 --> 00:10:04,932
and I know you can't afford it
because you're a stupid poor.
269
00:10:05,733 --> 00:10:07,035
Uh-uh-uh.
270
00:10:07,067 --> 00:10:08,569
And like I tell my husband's first wife,
271
00:10:08,603 --> 00:10:09,738
let's not name call.
272
00:10:10,971 --> 00:10:13,540
I know some of my ideas may seem strange
273
00:10:13,574 --> 00:10:15,609
because I'm from
a much younger generation.
274
00:10:15,643 --> 00:10:17,445
No you're not,
275
00:10:17,478 --> 00:10:18,479
what year were you born?
276
00:10:18,513 --> 00:10:20,047
1993. How about you?
277
00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:20,914
Oh.
278
00:10:20,947 --> 00:10:23,150
I was born t...
279
00:10:23,183 --> 00:10:24,585
Can't talk without the talking stick.
280
00:10:24,619 --> 00:10:26,220
So...
281
00:10:26,254 --> 00:10:29,390
Harper, you are just so wonderful.
282
00:10:29,423 --> 00:10:31,625
I wish that there were
more women from your generation
283
00:10:31,658 --> 00:10:33,294
coming into our community.
284
00:10:33,327 --> 00:10:34,428
Hear, hear.
285
00:10:34,461 --> 00:10:35,496
Oh.
286
00:10:39,300 --> 00:10:42,070
So, Claude, how did you meet
the true love of your life
287
00:10:42,103 --> 00:10:44,472
who rekindled your manhood
and made you realize
288
00:10:44,504 --> 00:10:47,641
that your first marriage was a mistake?
289
00:10:47,675 --> 00:10:50,278
Uh, my first wife, um...
290
00:10:51,712 --> 00:10:53,414
- Uh...
- Michele.
291
00:10:53,447 --> 00:10:54,915
Her name is Michele.
292
00:10:54,949 --> 00:10:57,419
- Talking stick.
- Talking stick you!
293
00:10:57,451 --> 00:10:59,586
Michele wanted me to get into yoga,
294
00:10:59,619 --> 00:11:04,191
and Harper was the instructor
for our introductory class.
295
00:11:04,225 --> 00:11:07,361
You always said yoga would be
great for my lower back.
296
00:11:07,394 --> 00:11:09,269
So where do you teach?
297
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,730
- I would love to keep...
- Honey, you're hogging the stick.
298
00:11:11,865 --> 00:11:13,768
Here's a great yoga stretch.
299
00:11:13,801 --> 00:11:15,336
Okay.
300
00:11:18,172 --> 00:11:19,340
Oh, yeah.
301
00:11:19,374 --> 00:11:21,276
Okay, yeah.
302
00:11:21,308 --> 00:11:23,310
Right there.
303
00:11:28,215 --> 00:11:30,587
Feels good to get involved in school.
304
00:11:31,572 --> 00:11:33,021
It was a huge success
305
00:11:33,053 --> 00:11:35,723
even though she banned clapping
in the classroom.
306
00:11:35,757 --> 00:11:36,991
She did away with clapping?
307
00:11:37,023 --> 00:11:39,293
Yep. So now if we agree on something
308
00:11:39,326 --> 00:11:40,461
and want to show our appreciation,
309
00:11:40,494 --> 00:11:42,029
we have to do this...
310
00:11:43,724 --> 00:11:44,830
Why?
311
00:11:44,831 --> 00:11:47,369
So no one feels less appreciated
than another person.
312
00:11:47,402 --> 00:11:48,869
And then you lunged at her.
313
00:11:48,903 --> 00:11:50,305
How many people did it take
to pull you off?
314
00:11:50,337 --> 00:11:51,572
Did they have to call in
the gym teachers?
315
00:11:51,605 --> 00:11:53,307
No, I kept it together
316
00:11:53,340 --> 00:11:56,411
because the Witches of Westport
feel so bad about themselves.
317
00:11:56,444 --> 00:11:58,246
It was really beautiful.
318
00:11:58,278 --> 00:12:01,014
They're going insane
trying to out-Harper Harper.
319
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:28,742
As long as they're unhappy, I'm happy.
320
00:12:28,776 --> 00:12:30,879
Oh God. That sounds terrible.
321
00:12:30,912 --> 00:12:32,280
Am I terrible?
322
00:12:32,312 --> 00:12:33,414
No.
323
00:12:33,447 --> 00:12:34,548
I'm good.
324
00:12:34,581 --> 00:12:35,649
I'm perfect.
325
00:12:39,220 --> 00:12:41,855
Anna-Kat, what's wrong?
326
00:12:41,888 --> 00:12:44,792
Insignia's mom said
I can't show my movie in class.
327
00:12:44,826 --> 00:12:46,894
Harper? Why would she ban
"The Goonies"?!
328
00:12:46,927 --> 00:12:48,095
It's the perfect movie.
329
00:12:48,129 --> 00:12:50,031
She said that it's inappropriate
330
00:12:50,063 --> 00:12:52,399
and that I need to meditate
on why I'd choose something
331
00:12:52,432 --> 00:12:54,568
that doesn't represent my best self.
332
00:12:54,601 --> 00:12:57,071
She probably didn't realize
that you're my daughter.
333
00:12:57,104 --> 00:12:58,705
I'll email her and straighten it out.
334
00:12:58,739 --> 00:13:00,307
Thanks, Mama.
335
00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:01,643
For once there's someone at the school
336
00:13:01,676 --> 00:13:02,977
that doesn't hate me.
337
00:13:03,009 --> 00:13:03,744
What about the lady at the front desk?
338
00:13:03,778 --> 00:13:04,946
- She likes you.
- I was discussing
339
00:13:04,979 --> 00:13:06,915
the other idiot who works
the front desk with her,
340
00:13:06,947 --> 00:13:08,649
and then I just realized
she changed her hair.
341
00:13:09,617 --> 00:13:12,954
I'm sure you now see why "The Goonies"
342
00:13:12,986 --> 00:13:14,755
is so important to Anna-Kat.
343
00:13:14,788 --> 00:13:16,457
XO, Katie.
344
00:13:17,691 --> 00:13:18,960
Sent.
345
00:13:18,993 --> 00:13:20,395
I think it's a nice mix of "sweet"
346
00:13:20,427 --> 00:13:21,929
and "don't cross me."
347
00:13:21,962 --> 00:13:23,897
Aw, that's how I first
described you to my parents.
348
00:13:23,931 --> 00:13:26,234
She replied already.
349
00:13:26,267 --> 00:13:28,069
Dear Katie, your fire for your daughter
350
00:13:28,101 --> 00:13:29,002
is inspiring...
351
00:13:29,036 --> 00:13:30,271
Blah, Blah, Blah...
352
00:13:30,303 --> 00:13:32,005
"The Goonies" promotes lying, greed
353
00:13:32,038 --> 00:13:34,008
and a troubling pro-pirate agenda.
354
00:13:34,041 --> 00:13:35,510
My inner-voice tells me
355
00:13:35,542 --> 00:13:38,245
Anna-Kat clearly needs
my guidance and influence.
356
00:13:38,278 --> 00:13:39,681
Inner voice?
357
00:13:39,714 --> 00:13:41,950
What kind of weirdo has an inner voice?
358
00:13:41,983 --> 00:13:43,484
Uh-oh.
359
00:13:43,518 --> 00:13:45,452
For good measure,
I've looped in Principal Ablin.
360
00:13:45,485 --> 00:13:46,687
Love and Light.
361
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,789
Looping in Ablin? Don't loop in...
362
00:13:48,822 --> 00:13:50,624
Ahoy, Maties!
363
00:13:50,657 --> 00:13:51,859
Though I've never seen "The Goonies,"
364
00:13:51,893 --> 00:13:53,528
I totally trust Harper's judgment.
365
00:13:53,561 --> 00:13:55,864
Smiley face emoji. Prayer hands emoji.
366
00:13:55,897 --> 00:13:58,449
Principal Ablin AKA "King Of School."
367
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:03,036
Anna-Kat put hours
into picking her movie.
368
00:14:03,070 --> 00:14:05,205
Also, this is a parent issue,
369
00:14:05,239 --> 00:14:08,209
so let's keep it between us.
370
00:14:09,643 --> 00:14:11,278
Dear Katie, perhaps you're right.
371
00:14:11,311 --> 00:14:12,513
Damn right I'm right!
372
00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:13,882
I've looped in all the parents.
373
00:14:13,914 --> 00:14:15,325
Let's put it to the hive mind
374
00:14:15,350 --> 00:14:17,050
and make it a community decision.
375
00:14:17,084 --> 00:14:19,270
Community decision?
That's not gonna go your way.
376
00:14:20,090 --> 00:14:21,822
- Great call, Harper!
- Totally agree.
377
00:14:21,855 --> 00:14:23,657
I vote for anything against Katie Otto.
378
00:14:23,691 --> 00:14:25,393
Middle finger emoji.
379
00:14:25,426 --> 00:14:26,694
Greg?
380
00:14:26,726 --> 00:14:28,529
My screaming pillow, please.
381
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:34,869
Thank you.
382
00:14:34,902 --> 00:14:37,037
Community, your feelings are felt.
383
00:14:37,071 --> 00:14:38,873
"The Goonies" will not be shown.
384
00:14:38,906 --> 00:14:39,974
Seems like the hot monster you created
385
00:14:40,007 --> 00:14:42,143
has turned the villagers against you.
386
00:14:42,176 --> 00:14:45,146
As a member of this "community,"
387
00:14:45,178 --> 00:14:48,815
I'm invoking my sacred right
to call a gathering
388
00:14:48,849 --> 00:14:50,718
of the Feelings Council.
389
00:14:50,750 --> 00:14:52,853
Tomorrow. During recess.
390
00:14:52,887 --> 00:14:55,089
Be there!
391
00:14:55,122 --> 00:14:56,591
I'll be there. And Harper,
392
00:14:56,624 --> 00:14:59,337
I'm just circling back to get
the info on your yoga studio.
393
00:14:59,362 --> 00:15:01,363
That's okay. We're good!
394
00:15:07,768 --> 00:15:09,737
Did you get Harper
to let me show "The Goonies"?
395
00:15:09,769 --> 00:15:11,572
I am going to a meeting about it
this morning
396
00:15:11,605 --> 00:15:13,575
and everything is going to be fine.
397
00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:15,176
You're the best.
398
00:15:15,209 --> 00:15:17,979
Nothing bad could ever happen
to me when you're around.
399
00:15:22,282 --> 00:15:23,283
No pressure there.
400
00:15:23,316 --> 00:15:25,085
This is just so hard.
401
00:15:25,119 --> 00:15:26,921
I guess if ruining
people's lives was easy,
402
00:15:26,954 --> 00:15:28,590
everyone would do it.
403
00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:29,958
Now I got to go rally the size twos
404
00:15:29,990 --> 00:15:31,692
against that size zero.
405
00:15:31,725 --> 00:15:33,927
I'm actually a double zero
in designer clothes
406
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:35,830
and a child's twelve at The Gap.
407
00:15:38,298 --> 00:15:40,067
Great job getting through to her.
408
00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:42,902
- Kathryn, she wasn't talking about you.
- Why not?
409
00:15:42,972 --> 00:15:44,538
You only seem to be
interested in yourself.
410
00:15:44,571 --> 00:15:45,806
Well, what do you want me to do?
411
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,208
Change my whole personality?
412
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:48,442
Maybe just try listening.
413
00:15:48,475 --> 00:15:49,777
Or asking the other person
about their day
414
00:15:49,810 --> 00:15:50,979
before you talk about yours.
415
00:15:51,012 --> 00:15:52,113
Okay.
416
00:15:52,146 --> 00:15:53,868
Uh, how was your day, Greg?
417
00:15:53,893 --> 00:15:55,726
Oh, thanks for asking, Kathryn.
My day...
418
00:15:55,751 --> 00:15:57,069
Ah. To be continued.
419
00:15:57,094 --> 00:15:58,712
Hello?
420
00:15:58,753 --> 00:16:00,455
No, no, no. No, now is a perfect time
421
00:16:00,488 --> 00:16:02,957
to talk about bundling
my Internet and my phone.
422
00:16:02,989 --> 00:16:04,491
Uh-huh.
423
00:16:08,028 --> 00:16:11,264
Ladies, I can't afford
this expensive gym,
424
00:16:11,297 --> 00:16:13,301
so I'm on my free tour,
and I ditched the attendant
425
00:16:13,334 --> 00:16:14,363
in the locker room.
426
00:16:14,394 --> 00:16:15,470
This will be quick.
427
00:16:18,346 --> 00:16:19,407
What do you want, Katie?
428
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:20,608
Yeah, why are you here?
429
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,410
I need you to back me up
at Feelings Council today
430
00:16:23,444 --> 00:16:24,846
about "Feature Friday."
431
00:16:24,879 --> 00:16:26,346
Harper has gone way too far.
432
00:16:28,548 --> 00:16:30,518
So let me get this straight.
433
00:16:30,551 --> 00:16:32,085
Now that Harper is bothering you,
434
00:16:32,119 --> 00:16:33,454
it's suddenly a problem?
435
00:16:33,486 --> 00:16:34,788
Exactly.
436
00:16:34,821 --> 00:16:36,190
We're not helping you, Katie.
437
00:16:36,223 --> 00:16:37,492
But you'll be helping yourselves, too.
438
00:16:37,524 --> 00:16:39,459
Today it's saying no to "Goonies,"
439
00:16:39,493 --> 00:16:42,129
but what if tomorrow
it's saying no to BOTOX?
440
00:16:42,162 --> 00:16:44,431
Because she wants moms
to have facial expressions.
441
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:48,088
See? You all sound,
but don't look, surprised.
442
00:16:50,739 --> 00:16:52,174
You know, all of our problems
would be solved
443
00:16:52,208 --> 00:16:53,911
if you just got rid of Harper
as room mom.
444
00:16:53,944 --> 00:16:55,812
It's super confusing when good ideas
445
00:16:55,844 --> 00:16:58,147
come out of your awful face.
446
00:17:01,517 --> 00:17:03,052
Before Katie starts,
447
00:17:03,085 --> 00:17:04,854
I'll be approving all movies
and classroom snacks
448
00:17:04,888 --> 00:17:06,690
from now on, so just text me.
449
00:17:06,722 --> 00:17:08,392
And if you have
any other questions or ideas,
450
00:17:08,424 --> 00:17:10,661
you can put them in here...
451
00:17:10,693 --> 00:17:11,994
I call it a "thought cradle."
452
00:17:12,027 --> 00:17:13,329
Well, I call it a shoe box
453
00:17:13,363 --> 00:17:14,898
that you decorated like an 8th grader.
454
00:17:14,930 --> 00:17:16,667
So, I called a Feelings Council...
455
00:17:16,699 --> 00:17:17,867
Okay, you need the talking stick.
456
00:17:17,901 --> 00:17:19,503
- So give it to me.
- I don't have it.
457
00:17:19,536 --> 00:17:21,971
- I didn't call this meeting.
- Fine.
458
00:17:23,873 --> 00:17:25,875
It's really got to be a stick.
459
00:17:28,978 --> 00:17:30,247
A-ha!
460
00:17:30,279 --> 00:17:31,614
"Beef stick."
461
00:17:31,648 --> 00:17:33,283
How long have you had that
in your purse?
462
00:17:33,315 --> 00:17:34,785
It doesn't matter.
463
00:17:34,817 --> 00:17:37,453
It expires in 2046.
464
00:17:37,487 --> 00:17:40,290
There's nothing wrong
with "The Goonies."
465
00:17:40,323 --> 00:17:42,959
It is a celebration
of friendship, perseverance,
466
00:17:42,992 --> 00:17:46,362
and accepting people
who are different than you.
467
00:17:46,395 --> 00:17:48,632
I must stop this Feelings Council...
468
00:17:48,664 --> 00:17:50,566
No talking without the talking stick.
469
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,769
It's time for you to listen.
470
00:17:52,802 --> 00:17:56,406
Because this is our time.
471
00:17:56,439 --> 00:17:59,343
This is our time in here.
472
00:18:01,344 --> 00:18:02,546
That was a quote from the movie.
473
00:18:02,578 --> 00:18:03,646
It rallied everyone together.
474
00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:05,082
I'm kind of doing the same thing here.
475
00:18:06,915 --> 00:18:09,919
Anyhow, Harper,
it's time for you to listen.
476
00:18:12,021 --> 00:18:13,322
"I feel" you need
477
00:18:13,355 --> 00:18:16,926
to stop shoving your ideas
down our throats.
478
00:18:16,959 --> 00:18:19,662
"I feel" like your side-cleave
is way more inappropriate
479
00:18:19,696 --> 00:18:21,298
than a delightful '80s movie classic.
480
00:18:24,933 --> 00:18:29,238
And I feel that this nonsense is stupid.
481
00:18:32,342 --> 00:18:33,910
Okay, I see what's going on here.
482
00:18:33,942 --> 00:18:35,411
You're all mad because I'm young
483
00:18:35,444 --> 00:18:37,313
and I produce more collagen
than I know what to do with.
484
00:18:37,346 --> 00:18:39,148
I believe the Council
can call for a vote
485
00:18:39,181 --> 00:18:41,825
of "No Feeling"
and the leader can be removed.
486
00:18:41,850 --> 00:18:43,253
You can't vote me out.
487
00:18:43,286 --> 00:18:45,022
I am Feelings Council.
488
00:18:45,069 --> 00:18:46,099
Bup!
489
00:18:46,124 --> 00:18:48,258
No talking without the stick.
490
00:18:48,290 --> 00:18:49,992
Okay, you know what?
491
00:18:50,026 --> 00:18:51,128
I lied!
492
00:18:51,161 --> 00:18:52,796
I do have the talking stick.
493
00:18:52,828 --> 00:18:55,164
When you're a mother, like me,
494
00:18:55,198 --> 00:18:56,699
you need to be very careful about...
495
00:18:56,732 --> 00:18:58,367
Uh... Oh!
496
00:18:58,401 --> 00:18:59,702
You have been a mom for two months!
497
00:18:59,736 --> 00:19:01,271
Stop giving parenting advice
498
00:19:01,304 --> 00:19:03,440
or I will knock you
all the way back to Coachella.
499
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,009
I am going to talk to Principal Ablin
500
00:19:07,043 --> 00:19:10,381
and have Insignia transferred
to the other class.
501
00:19:13,682 --> 00:19:15,786
Ladies, we put aside our differences
502
00:19:15,818 --> 00:19:17,053
and worked together to drive away
503
00:19:17,086 --> 00:19:18,488
the supple room mom.
504
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:21,123
Maybe this is a new beginning for us.
505
00:19:21,157 --> 00:19:23,360
Yes, maybe it can be.
506
00:19:23,392 --> 00:19:24,460
I agree.
507
00:19:24,494 --> 00:19:26,029
I mean, Katie, you're awful,
508
00:19:26,062 --> 00:19:27,325
but at least I know
you can't steal my husband.
509
00:19:28,294 --> 00:19:30,901
Tara, that is one of the nicer insults
510
00:19:30,933 --> 00:19:33,135
you've ever said to me.
511
00:19:33,169 --> 00:19:35,171
What do you say we make an effort
512
00:19:35,205 --> 00:19:37,140
to turn over a new leaf?
513
00:19:37,172 --> 00:19:38,574
I agree.
514
00:19:38,607 --> 00:19:40,710
Ooh, this could be so much fun.
515
00:19:40,744 --> 00:19:42,379
We could flip tires together.
516
00:19:42,411 --> 00:19:44,748
We're doing a cabbage soup cleanse.
517
00:19:44,780 --> 00:19:46,777
Oh, of course we're gonna have to
find someone else new to hate.
518
00:19:46,802 --> 00:19:47,815
You can help us pick them.
519
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,187
You can be one of us!
520
00:19:50,219 --> 00:19:52,322
Oh, God. The only thing worse
521
00:19:52,354 --> 00:19:54,924
than them not liking me
is them liking me.
522
00:19:54,958 --> 00:19:56,359
Now that we're all besties,
523
00:19:56,392 --> 00:19:59,196
I should tell you guys we were
messing with you the other day.
524
00:19:59,228 --> 00:20:01,331
Baby pee does nothing for the skin.
525
00:20:01,363 --> 00:20:02,945
Other than make you
smell like a ball pit
526
00:20:02,970 --> 00:20:05,001
at Chuck E. Cheese.
527
00:20:05,110 --> 00:20:06,572
I can't believe you.
528
00:20:06,619 --> 00:20:09,017
What kind of a person does that?
529
00:20:09,222 --> 00:20:12,052
I have pee on my face.
530
00:20:13,559 --> 00:20:15,052
We're back to hating you.
531
00:20:15,895 --> 00:20:18,247
Everyone hates me again.
532
00:20:18,363 --> 00:20:20,075
That feels right.
533
00:20:25,905 --> 00:20:27,373
You're the best mom ever.
534
00:20:27,406 --> 00:20:29,542
I've got a mug of wine to prove it.
535
00:20:29,574 --> 00:20:31,177
Congratulations to you too.
536
00:20:31,209 --> 00:20:33,545
The kids said my mom asked you
how your day was
537
00:20:33,579 --> 00:20:35,447
and she almost stuck around
to hear the answer.
538
00:20:35,481 --> 00:20:37,150
Baby steps. I'm happy with that.
539
00:20:37,183 --> 00:20:38,852
Ask yourself whether you are happy
540
00:20:38,885 --> 00:20:40,686
and you cease to be so.
541
00:20:40,719 --> 00:20:42,840
That's a John Stuart Mill quote.
How do you know that?
542
00:20:42,865 --> 00:20:44,023
Ah.
543
00:20:44,055 --> 00:20:46,391
I read your book.
544
00:20:46,425 --> 00:20:49,061
- When did you read my book?
- Over at Spencer's.
545
00:20:49,094 --> 00:20:50,395
I mean, he bought all those copies,
546
00:20:50,428 --> 00:20:52,331
and you are my son-in-law.
547
00:20:52,365 --> 00:20:54,500
I just... I just wanted
to see what you were up to.
548
00:20:54,532 --> 00:20:55,568
Wow!
549
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,070
- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.
550
00:20:57,102 --> 00:20:58,804
Oh, you know...
you know my favorite part?
551
00:20:58,838 --> 00:21:00,005
I'd love to hear it.
552
00:21:00,039 --> 00:21:02,475
When the UPS man delivered the books,
553
00:21:02,507 --> 00:21:03,842
he called me
554
00:21:03,876 --> 00:21:05,856
a "better-put-together Kate Jackson"
555
00:21:05,881 --> 00:21:07,130
from "Charlie's Angels."
556
00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:10,491
- Baby steps.
- Yeah.
557
00:21:10,515 --> 00:21:15,515
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
40186
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