Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,065 --> 00:00:08,490
[ALARM SOUNDING]
2
00:00:08,567 --> 00:00:10,592
["ARE YOU GONNA BE MY GIRL"
BY JET PLAYING]
3
00:00:11,846 --> 00:00:14,013
Got to look good today.
4
00:00:14,089 --> 00:00:15,848
I'm asking Amy to the prom.
5
00:00:15,999 --> 00:00:17,683
[SQUEAKING]
6
00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:19,426
I meant school Amy.
7
00:00:19,503 --> 00:00:21,020
Not you, Amy.
8
00:00:21,096 --> 00:00:22,479
♪ Oh ♪
9
00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:31,679
♪ I said, are you gonna be
my girl? ♪
10
00:00:31,757 --> 00:00:32,889
Okay, just act cool.
11
00:00:32,891 --> 00:00:34,700
Hey, Amy, you promming?
12
00:00:34,777 --> 00:00:36,109
I... [GROANS]
13
00:00:36,186 --> 00:00:38,520
So, Amy, some of your hair
got caught in your locker
14
00:00:38,597 --> 00:00:40,614
and I took it. No! No! God, no!
15
00:00:40,690 --> 00:00:43,450
[MOTHER] Andrew,
there's someone to see you!
16
00:00:43,527 --> 00:00:44,601
[BOTH SQUEAK]
17
00:00:46,397 --> 00:00:48,546
You've been served, starter stache.
18
00:00:48,624 --> 00:00:50,473
Wh-What is this, Dad?
19
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,142
That's a subpoena.
20
00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:55,219
You've been called as a
surprise witness in court today.
21
00:00:55,297 --> 00:00:56,554
I can't go to court.
22
00:00:56,632 --> 00:00:58,573
I spent all my after-school job money
23
00:00:58,650 --> 00:01:01,058
on a skywriting promposal.
24
00:01:01,136 --> 00:01:03,245
Testifying in court is a
matter of duty and honor.
25
00:01:03,321 --> 00:01:06,473
Besides, everyone knows Amy
is going to the prom with Josh.
26
00:01:06,475 --> 00:01:08,141
[GROANS]
27
00:01:08,143 --> 00:01:11,402
- ♪ Are you gonna be my girl? ♪
- _
28
00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:13,647
- ♪ Yeah. ♪
- _
29
00:01:13,649 --> 00:01:15,315
Mr. Teen, isn't it true
30
00:01:15,317 --> 00:01:17,500
that while working as an
employee of Builders' Barn,
31
00:01:17,577 --> 00:01:20,153
you rented a backhoe to this man
32
00:01:20,155 --> 00:01:22,338
Homer J. Simpson?
33
00:01:22,415 --> 00:01:23,417
Yes.
34
00:01:23,492 --> 00:01:25,175
And what reason did Mr. Simpson give
35
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:26,918
for renting the machine?
36
00:01:26,995 --> 00:01:28,937
To quote, "dig a bitching swimming pool
37
00:01:29,014 --> 00:01:31,665
"in his backyard,
then throw an awesome pool party
38
00:01:31,667 --> 00:01:33,608
and not invite Flanders."
39
00:01:33,685 --> 00:01:35,610
But in the process of digging the pool,
40
00:01:35,612 --> 00:01:38,596
Mr. Simpson destroyed local gas, sewer,
41
00:01:38,674 --> 00:01:41,524
and power lines,
causing rolling blackouts
42
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:43,677
that affect Springfield to this...
43
00:01:43,679 --> 00:01:46,913
- [ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
- ...day.
44
00:01:49,351 --> 00:01:52,368
This man is so obviously incompetent
45
00:01:52,445 --> 00:01:55,522
that he never should have been
allowed to rent a backhoe.
46
00:01:55,524 --> 00:01:58,282
And that is why Mr. Simpson
47
00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:00,210
is suing Builders' Barn.
48
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:01,695
He's suing us?
49
00:02:01,697 --> 00:02:03,213
Your Honor, I'd like to take over
50
00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:04,864
the questioning, if I may.
51
00:02:04,866 --> 00:02:08,201
Mr. Simpson,
only a fool has himself for a lawyer.
52
00:02:08,203 --> 00:02:10,562
That's exactly my point, sir.
53
00:02:12,557 --> 00:02:14,708
When Mr. Simpson, that is myself,
54
00:02:14,710 --> 00:02:16,968
rented the heavy machinery in question,
55
00:02:17,045 --> 00:02:20,396
isn't it true that my breath
smelled strongly of beer...
56
00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:22,306
as it does now?
57
00:02:22,384 --> 00:02:23,599
[EXHALES]
58
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:25,735
I don't know what beer smells like.
59
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,087
I was going to have my first one ever
60
00:02:28,089 --> 00:02:29,889
at the after-prom party.
61
00:02:29,891 --> 00:02:31,241
[CRYING]
62
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:34,169
Homer can't even unfold a lawn chair.
63
00:02:34,246 --> 00:02:36,187
I don't think he understands doors.
64
00:02:36,264 --> 00:02:39,899
He's fat and lazy and
carries diner jelly packs
65
00:02:39,901 --> 00:02:41,751
in his shirt pocket.
66
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,327
That's irrelevant and prejudicial.
67
00:02:43,405 --> 00:02:45,555
Let her speak!
68
00:02:45,925 --> 00:02:47,925
_
69
00:02:47,926 --> 00:02:50,501
- Has the jury reached a verdict?
- Yes.
70
00:02:50,579 --> 00:02:52,262
We're very disappointed this turned out
71
00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:53,671
to be a real trial
72
00:02:53,749 --> 00:02:56,525
and not a hidden-camera
comedy reality show.
73
00:02:56,601 --> 00:02:59,361
Also, we have no choice but
to find for the plaintiff.
74
00:02:59,437 --> 00:03:01,437
- D'oh!
- You're the plaintiff.
75
00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:04,015
- Woo-hoo!
- [SIGHS] I've spent 25 years
76
00:03:04,092 --> 00:03:05,925
fighting for Lady Justice.
77
00:03:05,927 --> 00:03:08,519
Today I learned she's
nothing but a painted tart,
78
00:03:08,597 --> 00:03:11,039
and I run the flophouse
where she turns tricks.
79
00:03:11,116 --> 00:03:14,601
I award Mr. Simpson the
minimum possible damages.
80
00:03:14,603 --> 00:03:16,861
$95.
81
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,938
Yes! Come on, everybody.
82
00:03:18,940 --> 00:03:22,275
Jury wave.
83
00:03:22,277 --> 00:03:24,511
No alternates.
84
00:03:26,757 --> 00:03:28,712
_
85
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,116
[HOMER] Kids.
86
00:03:30,135 --> 00:03:32,635
Look what Daddy bought
with his settlement money.
87
00:03:33,807 --> 00:03:35,546
Floatie noodles and pool balls?
88
00:03:35,624 --> 00:03:37,791
We don't have a pool, Homer.
89
00:03:37,793 --> 00:03:39,793
We have a hole, which you can't fix
90
00:03:39,795 --> 00:03:41,828
because the judge
banned you from renting
91
00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:44,406
any class A excavating equipment.
92
00:03:44,482 --> 00:03:46,466
It's now in the permanent court record
93
00:03:46,468 --> 00:03:48,134
that I married a buffoon.
94
00:03:48,136 --> 00:03:50,303
It was stipulated by all parties.
95
00:03:50,305 --> 00:03:53,156
On the plus side,
Homer now has an entry on Wiccapedia.
96
00:03:53,232 --> 00:03:56,400
[GASPS] "Homer J. Simpson is
the first American citizen
97
00:03:56,478 --> 00:03:59,236
to become a court-certified idiot"?
98
00:03:59,314 --> 00:04:00,496
[GROANS]
99
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:03,149
Wow, and it's not just a stub.
100
00:04:03,151 --> 00:04:05,168
The admin really put some time into it.
101
00:04:05,244 --> 00:04:08,655
Is this what you want your
legacy on this planet to be?
102
00:04:08,657 --> 00:04:10,006
It's not just this.
103
00:04:10,008 --> 00:04:11,749
I got other stuff, like, uh...
104
00:04:11,827 --> 00:04:13,676
I fell into wet cement
in front of the church
105
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:16,271
and left a very recognizable ass print.
106
00:04:16,348 --> 00:04:17,606
- Mind the print.
- Aah!
107
00:04:17,682 --> 00:04:19,107
- Mind the ass print.
- [GROANS]
108
00:04:19,258 --> 00:04:20,667
- It's a big one.
- [GROANS]
109
00:04:20,669 --> 00:04:23,002
And, uh, well, uh, there's, uh...
110
00:04:23,004 --> 00:04:24,337
Ooh, I know.
111
00:04:24,339 --> 00:04:26,114
My legacy can be Lisa.
112
00:04:26,191 --> 00:04:27,857
She's my legacy.
113
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,844
Aw, I called dibs on Lisa
in the delivery room.
114
00:04:30,846 --> 00:04:32,269
I saw her first.
115
00:04:32,347 --> 00:04:33,788
[BOTH GROAN]
116
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,365
[HOMER SNORES]
117
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,542
Legacy...
118
00:04:39,528 --> 00:04:40,620
Who are you?
119
00:04:40,696 --> 00:04:41,713
Where am I?
120
00:04:41,864 --> 00:04:43,530
We're in the wonderful future.
121
00:04:43,608 --> 00:04:46,959
And I'm your guide,
travel host and author Rick Steves.
122
00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:50,947
Every Sunday night Lisa puts
me on TV and you fall asleep.
123
00:04:50,949 --> 00:04:53,299
That's why you're sleeping right now.
124
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:54,726
- [SNORING]
- [FRENCH MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]
125
00:04:54,953 --> 00:04:58,686
There's no better place for
a perfect gratin dauphinois
126
00:04:58,721 --> 00:05:00,881
than on a train to Montrachet.
127
00:05:00,959 --> 00:05:03,217
Someday, Rick, someday.
128
00:05:03,294 --> 00:05:06,145
These statues honor the
legacies of the many people
129
00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:08,907
who made a difference in Springfield.
130
00:05:14,155 --> 00:05:16,063
[SNORING]
131
00:05:16,082 --> 00:05:17,415
Sleep sleeping?
132
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:20,159
Legacy! Where's my statue?
133
00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:21,586
You don't have one.
134
00:05:21,663 --> 00:05:25,072
Because you've never done
anything worth remembering.
135
00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:27,516
I bet Lenny doesn't
have a legacy statue.
136
00:05:27,518 --> 00:05:29,802
Look what we're standing on right now.
137
00:05:31,580 --> 00:05:32,597
[HOMER] D'oh!
138
00:05:32,674 --> 00:05:35,491
Lenny invented invisible suspenders.
139
00:05:35,510 --> 00:05:37,843
Guess what's holding up my pants.
140
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:41,847
The point is,
they're all remembered and you aren't.
141
00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:44,000
Now let me ask you something else.
142
00:05:44,002 --> 00:05:45,944
Have you donated to PBS this year?
143
00:05:46,020 --> 00:05:48,863
Never!
144
00:05:50,341 --> 00:05:52,525
Dumb, stupid, dumb.
145
00:05:52,601 --> 00:05:54,343
Abe, can you talk to him?
146
00:05:54,345 --> 00:05:56,621
He's been at the bottom
of that hole for hours.
147
00:05:56,698 --> 00:05:59,624
I've been feeding him like a dolphin.
148
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:02,627
[YIPPING]
149
00:06:05,356 --> 00:06:09,300
So, what's got you sitting
in a hole this time, son?
150
00:06:09,377 --> 00:06:10,876
No legacy.
151
00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:13,120
The nearest the Simpsons
ever came to a legacy
152
00:06:13,198 --> 00:06:15,381
was when my uncle had
a soup named after him
153
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:16,957
at the chowder hall.
154
00:06:17,035 --> 00:06:20,036
A lot of people got sick from Stan soup.
155
00:06:20,038 --> 00:06:23,389
So stop your ninny-whimpling
and get out of this hole.
156
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,650
Hey, you ruined my roundsie!
157
00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:27,151
I ruin-sied your round-what?
158
00:06:27,228 --> 00:06:29,320
When the ball goes all
the way around the walls,
159
00:06:29,397 --> 00:06:32,657
I call it a "roundsie."
160
00:06:32,734 --> 00:06:34,641
See? Roundsie.
161
00:06:34,719 --> 00:06:36,719
That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
162
00:06:36,721 --> 00:06:38,663
Let me try.
163
00:06:39,815 --> 00:06:41,390
- [GRAMPA LAUGHS]
- [BALL BOUNCING]
164
00:06:41,392 --> 00:06:42,850
[HOMER LAUGHS, GRUNTS]
165
00:06:42,927 --> 00:06:44,744
[BOTH LAUGHING, GRUNTING]
166
00:06:44,820 --> 00:06:46,395
Whoa! [LAUGHS]
167
00:06:46,397 --> 00:06:48,631
[BOTH GRUNTING, LAUGHING]
168
00:06:51,085 --> 00:06:53,252
Son, I never played catch with you
169
00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:54,754
or tossed you a football
170
00:06:54,830 --> 00:06:56,589
or taught you how to ride a bike.
171
00:06:56,665 --> 00:06:58,499
I hate you, you monster!
172
00:06:58,576 --> 00:07:00,501
But now we have this.
173
00:07:00,578 --> 00:07:03,187
Yeah... you're all right.
174
00:07:03,264 --> 00:07:05,005
Noodles, balls?
175
00:07:05,083 --> 00:07:07,266
What do you call this wonderful game?
176
00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:10,511
I don't know, but it's gonna
be something really clever.
177
00:07:10,588 --> 00:07:12,679
We call it Noodleball.
178
00:07:12,757 --> 00:07:14,757
It's exercise without movement.
179
00:07:14,759 --> 00:07:16,592
It's safe for your brittle bones.
180
00:07:16,594 --> 00:07:17,943
And you don't have to face the thing
181
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:20,263
all us seniors fear about pools:
182
00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:23,432
trying to peel off a wet bathing suit.
183
00:07:23,434 --> 00:07:25,451
- I'll try that.
- Give me one of those noodles.
184
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:28,087
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
185
00:07:31,234 --> 00:07:33,308
Dad, maybe Noodleball is what will make
186
00:07:33,385 --> 00:07:35,294
the Simpson name live forever.
187
00:07:35,296 --> 00:07:38,572
A legacy that we created together.
188
00:07:38,649 --> 00:07:41,242
I'll jelly to that.
189
00:07:46,067 --> 00:07:48,232
_
190
00:07:48,233 --> 00:07:50,751
Springfield's golden-agers are lining up
191
00:07:50,828 --> 00:07:52,235
to go six feet under...
192
00:07:52,313 --> 00:07:54,496
in empty swimming pools.
193
00:07:54,573 --> 00:07:56,740
So how does this piscine pastime work?
194
00:07:56,817 --> 00:07:58,759
If you hit the ball
past your opponents
195
00:07:58,836 --> 00:08:00,761
and it bounces back to you,
196
00:08:00,838 --> 00:08:02,763
that's a roundsie: one point.
197
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,007
[GRAMPA] Your opponents are
trying to block the roundsie
198
00:08:05,159 --> 00:08:06,934
and hit it back to
score their own point.
199
00:08:07,011 --> 00:08:09,270
[HOMER] Play until three balls
get knocked out of the pool,
200
00:08:09,346 --> 00:08:12,589
and then everyone can check
their phone for ten minutes.
201
00:08:12,667 --> 00:08:14,442
So dive on in to Noodleball
202
00:08:14,518 --> 00:08:18,671
and drown the dog days of
summer in the deep end of fun.
203
00:08:18,673 --> 00:08:21,097
Speaking of dogs, let's meet the spaniel
204
00:08:21,175 --> 00:08:24,243
who's predicted every Super Bowl wrong.
205
00:08:32,870 --> 00:08:33,794
[SQUAWKS]
206
00:08:33,871 --> 00:08:35,020
A perfect roundsie!
207
00:08:35,022 --> 00:08:36,371
We win again!
208
00:08:36,448 --> 00:08:38,040
Since you've been playing Noodleball,
209
00:08:38,116 --> 00:08:41,043
your weight gain has plateaued.
210
00:08:41,119 --> 00:08:45,380
If you keep this up,
you could not gain 50 pounds.
211
00:08:45,457 --> 00:08:48,867
Dad, look what just
came up on Wiccapedia.
212
00:08:48,869 --> 00:08:50,293
[HOMER] Hmm.
213
00:08:50,371 --> 00:08:52,871
The world is noticing the Simpsons...
214
00:08:52,873 --> 00:08:54,223
in a good way.
215
00:08:54,299 --> 00:08:55,799
Look at these seniors,
216
00:08:55,818 --> 00:08:58,152
playing like there is a tomorrow.
217
00:08:58,229 --> 00:09:00,112
♪ Na-na-na, come on ♪
218
00:09:01,657 --> 00:09:04,700
♪ Na-na-na-na-na, come on ♪
219
00:09:05,661 --> 00:09:07,143
♪ Na-na-na, come on ♪
220
00:09:07,221 --> 00:09:08,829
♪ Come on, come on ♪
221
00:09:08,906 --> 00:09:10,814
♪ Na-na-na-na ♪
222
00:09:10,891 --> 00:09:12,816
♪ Feels so good being bad ♪
223
00:09:12,893 --> 00:09:14,818
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
224
00:09:14,895 --> 00:09:16,670
♪ There's no way I'm turning back ♪
225
00:09:16,747 --> 00:09:18,339
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
226
00:09:18,415 --> 00:09:20,841
♪ Now the pain is for pleasure ♪
227
00:09:20,918 --> 00:09:22,067
♪ Oh. ♪
228
00:09:22,069 --> 00:09:23,752
Dad, Grampa, we have
229
00:09:23,754 --> 00:09:25,179
a problem at the south pool!
230
00:09:25,256 --> 00:09:27,664
Oh, another old person three-way?
231
00:09:27,742 --> 00:09:28,907
Just hose 'em out of there.
232
00:09:28,909 --> 00:09:30,017
Worse!
233
00:09:30,094 --> 00:09:32,094
Out of the pool, noodle heads.
234
00:09:32,170 --> 00:09:34,337
It's summer, and the kids want to swim.
235
00:09:34,415 --> 00:09:36,190
Go jump in the lake, water baby.
236
00:09:36,267 --> 00:09:38,025
You're in Noodleball country.
237
00:09:38,102 --> 00:09:41,270
Even the very tall need a place to swim.
238
00:09:41,346 --> 00:09:44,532
And our children need to
cool off in the hot summer.
239
00:09:44,683 --> 00:09:48,202
Won't everyone please not
think about the children?
240
00:09:52,116 --> 00:09:54,433
[ALL GROANING SADLY]
241
00:09:54,435 --> 00:09:57,545
Don't worry,
there's other pools in this town.
242
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,959
Hey, we were here first.
243
00:10:04,036 --> 00:10:05,636
Talk to the tag.
244
00:10:07,557 --> 00:10:08,889
Vape 'em out!
245
00:10:08,966 --> 00:10:10,724
[COUGHING]
246
00:10:10,801 --> 00:10:12,134
It's cotton candy bubble gum.
247
00:10:12,210 --> 00:10:13,635
Don't breathe it in.
248
00:10:13,712 --> 00:10:16,438
[WORRIED GROANING]
249
00:10:18,884 --> 00:10:20,401
We're losing pools all over town.
250
00:10:20,477 --> 00:10:23,070
What if we try to take over
some pickleball courts?
251
00:10:23,072 --> 00:10:25,631
No, those Wiffle Ball
whackers are psycho.
252
00:10:25,649 --> 00:10:28,483
They killed tennis without
even breaking a sweat.
253
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:31,728
Dad, there's a new section
on your Wiccapedia page.
254
00:10:31,806 --> 00:10:33,972
- Controversies.
- [SCREAMS]
255
00:10:33,974 --> 00:10:35,824
There's a petition to ban Noodleball,
256
00:10:35,826 --> 00:10:37,585
"which has antagonized swimmers,
257
00:10:37,661 --> 00:10:40,737
scuba practicers,
and frat house cannonballers."
258
00:10:40,815 --> 00:10:42,648
Aw, that's all the thought leaders.
259
00:10:42,650 --> 00:10:45,150
We can't let Noodleball
end up a failed sport,
260
00:10:45,152 --> 00:10:47,243
like racquetball or soccer.
261
00:10:47,321 --> 00:10:49,822
Our father-son legacy is in danger.
262
00:10:49,824 --> 00:10:51,581
We got to do something.
263
00:10:51,583 --> 00:10:53,659
Think! Think!
264
00:10:53,661 --> 00:10:54,935
Hit harder!
265
00:10:55,012 --> 00:10:56,270
Homer, Abe.
266
00:10:56,347 --> 00:10:58,513
There's someone here
who wants to see you.
267
00:10:58,590 --> 00:11:01,257
[WHISPERING] I let him in
because he's wearing a suit.
268
00:11:01,335 --> 00:11:03,259
Gentlemen, I'm Gabriel Razelton.
269
00:11:03,337 --> 00:11:05,095
People call me "The Raz."
270
00:11:05,172 --> 00:11:06,780
But you shouldn't because I hate it.
271
00:11:06,857 --> 00:11:09,099
I represent a consortium
of companies that can help
272
00:11:09,176 --> 00:11:12,527
Noodleball not only survive but thrive.
273
00:11:12,604 --> 00:11:14,346
What consortium?
274
00:11:14,348 --> 00:11:17,866
I can tell you, or I can show you.
275
00:11:17,943 --> 00:11:19,868
Uh, give us a minute.
276
00:11:19,945 --> 00:11:21,703
Well, what do you think?
I'm all for show.
277
00:11:21,780 --> 00:11:23,297
No, I think we should do tell.
278
00:11:23,374 --> 00:11:25,540
- Let him show it...
- No, I prefer he'd tell it...
279
00:11:26,278 --> 00:11:28,043
- [OVERLAPPING ARGUING]
- _
280
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:29,970
Okay, we want you to tell us.
281
00:11:30,047 --> 00:11:32,865
No, you idiot, we decided show!
282
00:11:32,867 --> 00:11:35,050
Oh, just give us one more huddle.
283
00:11:35,127 --> 00:11:37,703
Show! It was always show!
284
00:11:37,705 --> 00:11:40,147
The avocado, or as some call it,
285
00:11:40,224 --> 00:11:41,874
the alligator pear.
286
00:11:41,876 --> 00:11:43,317
Simple, natural,
287
00:11:43,394 --> 00:11:46,153
a little nutty, just like Noodleball.
288
00:11:47,139 --> 00:11:48,730
"Avi-cado"? Never heard of it.
289
00:11:48,807 --> 00:11:51,884
The only green thing I eat is
Marge's Mountain Dew pudding.
290
00:11:51,886 --> 00:11:53,902
Mm, oh.
291
00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:56,997
That glop's easy on the gums.
292
00:11:57,074 --> 00:11:58,740
It is pretty creamy.
293
00:11:58,817 --> 00:12:01,001
Are you sure it isn't lard?
294
00:12:01,078 --> 00:12:02,336
Absolutely.
295
00:12:02,413 --> 00:12:04,487
You can see why we at
the Organic Pit-based
296
00:12:04,565 --> 00:12:06,340
Enjoyment Council think that avocados
297
00:12:06,417 --> 00:12:08,917
are the perfect sponsor for Noodleball.
298
00:12:08,994 --> 00:12:10,752
Can you get us our pools back?
299
00:12:10,829 --> 00:12:12,971
Oh, I can do better than that.
300
00:12:16,744 --> 00:12:17,834
I give you...
301
00:12:17,912 --> 00:12:20,020
the future of Noodleball.
302
00:12:20,097 --> 00:12:22,172
This is the Avo-1 Noodleplex,
303
00:12:22,249 --> 00:12:24,249
featuring eight state-of-the-art,
304
00:12:24,251 --> 00:12:26,268
- empty, never-swum-in pools.
- [BOTH] Hmm.
305
00:12:26,344 --> 00:12:27,861
Now, I hope you don't mind,
306
00:12:27,938 --> 00:12:29,604
but we've put a statue of you and Grampa
307
00:12:29,681 --> 00:12:30,847
right at the entrance.
308
00:12:31,515 --> 00:12:33,258
We'll be remembered forever,
309
00:12:33,260 --> 00:12:36,203
like that dude in the Lincoln Memorial.
310
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:39,206
We've got plans for all
kinds of avocado tie-ins:
311
00:12:39,283 --> 00:12:41,875
oils, face masks, hair conditioners.
312
00:12:41,952 --> 00:12:44,211
Big A isn't just guac and chips.
313
00:12:44,362 --> 00:12:45,938
[LAUGHS]
314
00:12:45,940 --> 00:12:47,773
[LAUGHING]
315
00:12:47,775 --> 00:12:49,717
Is this guy always so funny?
316
00:12:49,793 --> 00:12:51,367
[BOTH LAUGHING]
317
00:12:51,445 --> 00:12:53,178
I don't know.
318
00:12:54,873 --> 00:12:56,890
So, can we make this deal happen
319
00:12:57,042 --> 00:12:59,301
and raise an avocado toast?
320
00:12:59,377 --> 00:13:00,402
[CLINK]
321
00:13:00,420 --> 00:13:01,878
Oh, son.
322
00:13:01,956 --> 00:13:05,290
We created a sport
that will live forever.
323
00:13:05,292 --> 00:13:07,901
Now, Grampa,
we've got a PR guy just down the hall
324
00:13:07,978 --> 00:13:10,404
who wants to hear the
story of your life.
325
00:13:10,481 --> 00:13:11,505
Hmm.
326
00:13:11,512 --> 00:13:13,073
[GRUNTING]
327
00:13:13,150 --> 00:13:15,984
When I was a boy,
you kissed any horse that walked by.
328
00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:19,304
And that's how I acquired
my taste for hay.
329
00:13:19,306 --> 00:13:21,807
Homer, I've always been honest
with you, right?
330
00:13:21,809 --> 00:13:23,475
- Right.
- Wrong.
331
00:13:23,477 --> 00:13:25,827
I lied when I said
Noodleball was for everyone.
332
00:13:25,904 --> 00:13:28,146
No one's going to pay to
watch ancient athletes
333
00:13:28,148 --> 00:13:30,482
break their hips and have heart attacks.
334
00:13:30,484 --> 00:13:33,977
Our vision of Noodleball is
for a younger demographic.
335
00:13:34,012 --> 00:13:37,155
You want to make Noodleball
only for 20-somethings?
336
00:13:37,157 --> 00:13:38,991
Oh, God, no, they don't have any money.
337
00:13:38,993 --> 00:13:41,101
I'm talking 40-to-60-year-olds.
338
00:13:41,178 --> 00:13:44,162
The last generation
that can afford houses.
339
00:13:44,164 --> 00:13:46,774
We have to scrub out
every trace of your father
340
00:13:46,850 --> 00:13:49,001
and his gang of shuffling catheters,
341
00:13:49,003 --> 00:13:50,836
or Noodleball's future is blacker
342
00:13:50,838 --> 00:13:52,696
than a recently opened avocado.
343
00:13:54,842 --> 00:13:56,599
I can't dump Grampa.
344
00:13:56,677 --> 00:13:59,269
He's my father. We're like brothers.
345
00:13:59,346 --> 00:14:00,996
Oh...
346
00:14:02,699 --> 00:14:04,533
I'm sorry, but my dad and I
347
00:14:04,609 --> 00:14:06,201
created Noodleball together.
348
00:14:06,278 --> 00:14:07,035
[SIGHS]
349
00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:09,039
You're a man of rare integrity.
350
00:14:09,074 --> 00:14:11,784
- But I accept your deci...
- I'll do it! The old man's out!
351
00:14:14,208 --> 00:14:16,879
_
352
00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:18,288
Homer, Marge!
353
00:14:18,365 --> 00:14:20,032
Welcome to the first Noodleball
354
00:14:20,034 --> 00:14:21,141
celebrity tournament.
355
00:14:21,218 --> 00:14:22,717
Pretty fantastic, huh?
356
00:14:22,794 --> 00:14:25,103
It's a very impressive tent.
357
00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:27,597
Whoever ironed it knew
what they were doing.
358
00:14:27,674 --> 00:14:29,324
Avocado oil Bellini?
359
00:14:29,326 --> 00:14:30,600
Get that crap out of my face.
360
00:14:30,677 --> 00:14:32,084
Now come, I want you to meet
361
00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:34,104
some of the amazing
youth-adjacent athletes
362
00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:35,421
who are competing today.
363
00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:37,849
- Blake Griffin.
- Noodleball is the perfect game
364
00:14:38,001 --> 00:14:40,944
for retired players whose bodies
have been permanently destroyed
365
00:14:41,021 --> 00:14:42,228
by the sport they love.
366
00:14:42,263 --> 00:14:43,947
Which is all of us.
367
00:14:45,266 --> 00:14:47,025
Ow! My spinning finger.
368
00:14:47,101 --> 00:14:48,118
It was supposed to be fixed
369
00:14:48,194 --> 00:14:50,954
after my third Meadowlark Lemon surgery.
370
00:14:51,031 --> 00:14:52,530
Homer Simpson,
371
00:14:52,607 --> 00:14:54,624
of course you know Megan Rapinoe.
372
00:14:54,701 --> 00:14:56,626
I bet Lisa knows who you are.
373
00:14:56,628 --> 00:14:59,629
Lisa Simpson? I love her Substack.
374
00:14:59,706 --> 00:15:02,782
If you're her dad,
this explains so much.
375
00:15:02,859 --> 00:15:05,117
Thank you, Megan Rapinoe.
376
00:15:05,195 --> 00:15:07,695
Our targeted marketing
to 40- and 50-somethings
377
00:15:07,697 --> 00:15:09,531
is really paying off.
378
00:15:10,147 --> 00:15:12,200
My whole life I've worshipped
379
00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:14,978
the false god of tucking in.
380
00:15:15,055 --> 00:15:16,629
Step-in shoes!
381
00:15:16,706 --> 00:15:20,567
Oh! I'll never lower my
arms below my knees again.
382
00:15:21,969 --> 00:15:24,045
This is so amazing.
383
00:15:24,047 --> 00:15:26,489
I just feel bad that Grampa
and the other old folks
384
00:15:26,566 --> 00:15:28,491
can't be a part of all this.
385
00:15:28,568 --> 00:15:31,435
Yeah, that's kind
of a sensitive subject.
386
00:15:31,513 --> 00:15:32,904
You did tell him, right?
387
00:15:32,980 --> 00:15:35,390
You know, hard conversations like this,
388
00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:38,484
it's all about picking the right moment.
389
00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:40,486
- Oh, Homer.
- Darling.
390
00:15:40,564 --> 00:15:42,413
- Homer.
- My beloved.
391
00:15:42,490 --> 00:15:44,248
Are you waiting for your father to die
392
00:15:44,325 --> 00:15:48,327
so you won't have to tell him
you totally screwed him over?
393
00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:50,405
- Little bit.
- Oh.
394
00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:54,409
That alligator-pear-pushing
parasite gave me the heave-ho!
395
00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:56,094
Doesn't he know we're a team?
396
00:15:56,170 --> 00:15:57,687
We invented this together!
397
00:15:57,764 --> 00:15:59,914
Oh, great, now your memory's good.
398
00:15:59,916 --> 00:16:02,266
This was the only way
to save Noodleball.
399
00:16:02,343 --> 00:16:04,435
At least one of us can have a legacy.
400
00:16:04,512 --> 00:16:06,863
And you betrayed me for that?
401
00:16:06,940 --> 00:16:08,106
Guess what.
402
00:16:08,182 --> 00:16:10,533
Legacy don't mean squat.
403
00:16:13,688 --> 00:16:16,053
Squat?! Justify yourself!
404
00:16:16,088 --> 00:16:18,282
Who cares what people
think after you're gone?
405
00:16:18,359 --> 00:16:20,210
You ain't there to get the credit,
406
00:16:20,286 --> 00:16:21,878
if they remember you at all.
407
00:16:21,955 --> 00:16:24,047
Do you know who Johnny Carson was?
408
00:16:24,198 --> 00:16:25,440
Nope.
409
00:16:25,442 --> 00:16:27,217
- David Letterman?
- Nuh-uh.
410
00:16:27,293 --> 00:16:28,459
Jimmy Fallon?
411
00:16:28,461 --> 00:16:30,053
Now you're just making up names.
412
00:16:30,130 --> 00:16:32,113
Don't you see? You sold me out
413
00:16:32,115 --> 00:16:35,133
for a few extra words in your obituary.
414
00:16:35,209 --> 00:16:36,801
What's an obituary?
415
00:16:36,878 --> 00:16:39,879
It's where they summarize
your whole life in one sentence.
416
00:16:39,956 --> 00:16:41,122
Mine's gonna read:
417
00:16:41,124 --> 00:16:44,550
"He was stabbed in the back by his son."
418
00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:47,219
A real father would
support his son's terrible,
419
00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:48,888
heartless decision!
420
00:16:48,890 --> 00:16:51,741
Dad, someday can I screw you out
of something we create together?
421
00:16:51,743 --> 00:16:54,744
You do and I'll destroy you.
422
00:16:54,821 --> 00:16:57,914
How could making a deal with
avocados be a bad thing?
423
00:16:57,991 --> 00:16:59,565
It's a good fat.
424
00:16:59,643 --> 00:17:02,585
Well, growing avocados
does use a lot of water.
425
00:17:02,662 --> 00:17:05,663
Over nine and a half
billion liters per day.
426
00:17:05,740 --> 00:17:07,590
What's that in swimming pools?
427
00:17:07,667 --> 00:17:10,075
- 3,800.
- [GASPS]
428
00:17:10,153 --> 00:17:12,320
And the transport of avocado products
429
00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:15,473
endangers wildlife everywhere.
430
00:17:21,181 --> 00:17:23,514
Avocado oil is just using Noodleball
431
00:17:23,667 --> 00:17:25,833
to cover up the bad stuff they do.
432
00:17:25,835 --> 00:17:28,445
You know, the way
Middle East oil spent billions
433
00:17:28,521 --> 00:17:30,763
to create LIV Golf.
434
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:32,264
LIV Golf can't be bad.
435
00:17:32,342 --> 00:17:34,617
I bleed Mickelson's Maniacs blue.
436
00:17:34,694 --> 00:17:38,513
And now avocado oil is playing
the same slippery game.
437
00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:40,364
No, no, I won't believe it.
438
00:17:40,441 --> 00:17:43,518
Not the Organic Pit-based
Enjoyment Council.
439
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,462
You mean OPEC?
440
00:17:45,538 --> 00:17:48,965
Oh, "pit-based" is kind of a cheat,
but I get it.
441
00:17:49,116 --> 00:17:51,375
I sold out my dad for avocado.
442
00:17:51,452 --> 00:17:52,802
Oil, that is.
443
00:17:52,879 --> 00:17:54,119
Green gold.
444
00:17:54,197 --> 00:17:55,722
Tex-Mex tea.
445
00:17:59,719 --> 00:18:02,053
I demand to play in the tournament!
446
00:18:02,129 --> 00:18:03,538
Of course you can.
447
00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,982
You're on the cover
of Avocado Aficionado.
448
00:18:06,059 --> 00:18:09,486
[HOMER] Oh, yeah, one went up my butt.
449
00:18:09,562 --> 00:18:12,471
Your partner, NFL legend Andrew Luck,
450
00:18:12,549 --> 00:18:14,048
is waiting for you.
451
00:18:14,050 --> 00:18:15,140
Join me, Homer.
452
00:18:15,218 --> 00:18:16,493
I need a new sport.
453
00:18:16,569 --> 00:18:18,720
My wife keeps telling me to
stop moving furniture around
454
00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:20,145
and get out of the house.
455
00:18:20,223 --> 00:18:21,723
Andrew, if I played with you,
456
00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:24,242
I'd secure my Noodleball legacy forever.
457
00:18:24,318 --> 00:18:27,528
But at the terrible price
of supporting Big Avocado.
458
00:18:27,564 --> 00:18:30,565
So there's another retiree
who I'm teaming up with.
459
00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:32,567
[INHALES] My father.
460
00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:34,344
We created Noodleball to keep
461
00:18:34,420 --> 00:18:36,420
old people mobile and healthy.
462
00:18:36,422 --> 00:18:38,072
We're taking our sport back,
463
00:18:38,074 --> 00:18:39,516
legacy be damned.
464
00:18:39,667 --> 00:18:43,244
And my son and I
challenge your best team.
465
00:18:43,246 --> 00:18:46,356
Do you and this walking
wrinklebag really expect to beat
466
00:18:46,432 --> 00:18:48,358
Blake Griffin and Megan Rapinoe?
467
00:18:48,434 --> 00:18:49,584
We're playing now?
468
00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:51,769
I just had three avocado Bellinis.
469
00:18:51,771 --> 00:18:54,088
What is it with you and Bellinis?
470
00:18:54,090 --> 00:18:56,015
They loosen me up, Megan.
471
00:18:56,092 --> 00:18:58,368
♪
472
00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:01,538
Thanks for bringing me back, son.
473
00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:05,266
Dad, we never played catch
or tossed a football,
474
00:19:05,268 --> 00:19:07,192
but we have this.
475
00:19:07,270 --> 00:19:08,861
You're right, son.
476
00:19:08,938 --> 00:19:10,863
And that's why we're gonna win.
477
00:19:10,940 --> 00:19:14,199
We are this safe, low-impact game.
478
00:19:14,277 --> 00:19:16,094
♪
479
00:19:17,964 --> 00:19:18,796
[GROANS]
480
00:19:18,873 --> 00:19:21,282
- [BONES SNAP]
- Ow, my hip!
481
00:19:21,284 --> 00:19:23,393
Ow, my heart!
482
00:19:23,469 --> 00:19:25,119
[CROWD GASPS]
483
00:19:25,121 --> 00:19:26,954
Noodleball is no more.
484
00:19:26,956 --> 00:19:29,715
In its league premiere,
founder Homer Simpson
485
00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:32,569
and his father suffered
gruesome career-ending injuries,
486
00:19:32,645 --> 00:19:34,887
ruining Noodleball's professional debut
487
00:19:34,964 --> 00:19:37,632
and sending avocado futures plummeting.
488
00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:38,557
[GRAMPA GROANS]
489
00:19:38,635 --> 00:19:40,726
Oh, my sport is dead,
490
00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:44,488
and the only guy who showed up
to sign my cast is Andrew Luck.
491
00:19:44,565 --> 00:19:46,916
Ooh, I get the whole space.
492
00:19:46,993 --> 00:19:48,492
Mm-hmm.
493
00:19:48,569 --> 00:19:50,978
Cheer up, Homer,
retirement is wonderful.
494
00:19:50,980 --> 00:19:52,422
You'll have so much more time to spend
495
00:19:52,498 --> 00:19:54,332
on your charities and with your family.
496
00:19:54,408 --> 00:19:57,985
Oh! I want a second opinion
from Peyton Manning.
497
00:19:57,987 --> 00:19:59,337
[GROANS]
498
00:19:59,413 --> 00:20:00,988
I'm proud of you, Homie.
499
00:20:00,990 --> 00:20:04,583
You stuck by your dad
and rejected Big Avocado.
500
00:20:04,661 --> 00:20:08,162
Although if it comes in a salad,
I'm not sending it back.
501
00:20:08,164 --> 00:20:09,254
I love it on a burger.
502
00:20:09,332 --> 00:20:11,357
Or just spooned right out of the skin.
503
00:20:13,336 --> 00:20:15,928
[SIGHS] If we just swam in those pools,
504
00:20:16,005 --> 00:20:18,840
none of this bad stuff
would've happened.
505
00:20:18,842 --> 00:20:22,510
Aw, but the water's so
chilly when you first go in.
506
00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:25,747
[SIGHS] Nothing good came out of this.
507
00:20:27,700 --> 00:20:30,701
This is that backhoe-renting
weirdo's house, Amy.
508
00:20:30,778 --> 00:20:33,112
Oh, Andrew, you were so brave
509
00:20:33,189 --> 00:20:34,964
to testify against him.
510
00:20:35,041 --> 00:20:36,691
Mmm.
511
00:20:36,693 --> 00:20:38,468
[DEEP VOICE] Oh, my.
512
00:20:38,586 --> 00:20:42,046
♪ Come on, come on, come on,
I like it, like it ♪
513
00:20:42,123 --> 00:20:46,976
♪ Come on, come on, come on,
I like it, like it, come on. ♪
514
00:20:51,966 --> 00:20:55,151
[HOMER] Official Rules of Noodleball,
section 29:
515
00:20:55,228 --> 00:20:57,153
if a dog steals your pool ball,
516
00:20:57,230 --> 00:20:59,138
you're allowed to steal its ball.
517
00:20:59,215 --> 00:21:01,140
[GRAMPA] All players
must count up their meds,
518
00:21:01,217 --> 00:21:03,826
and the one with the
most pills serves first.
519
00:21:03,903 --> 00:21:06,237
[HOMER] The pool noodle
may be blown through
520
00:21:06,313 --> 00:21:07,646
but not yelled through.
521
00:21:07,724 --> 00:21:09,148
[GRAMPA] In between points, a maximum
522
00:21:09,225 --> 00:21:12,076
of three pictures of grandkids
may be shown,
523
00:21:12,153 --> 00:21:16,005
four if the kids are costumed
or in a school play.
524
00:21:16,082 --> 00:21:18,824
[HOMER] If a player's
pool noodle comes untied,
525
00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:20,918
that player must call "Flopper,"
526
00:21:20,995 --> 00:21:24,906
and the play is suspended
until the laughter subsides.
527
00:21:24,908 --> 00:21:28,685
[HOMER] If the pool being played
in has a separate hot tub,
528
00:21:28,761 --> 00:21:30,395
nice.
529
00:21:34,267 --> 00:21:35,917
Shh!
530
00:21:38,395 --> 00:21:41,354
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
38137
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof