All language subtitles for Greys Anatomy S21E18 How Do I Live 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-Kitsune_SDH_track3_[eng]

Meredith: The brain stores
a single memory

in millions of neurons.

♪ Another day

♪ Another hill to climb

♪ Feel the rush

♪ In the morning rise

♪ My, oh, my [ Moaning ]

[ Mika groans ]

♪ My, oh, my

[ Sighs ]

[ Muffled moaning ]Ohh.

Oh, this has got to stop.
I'm losing my mind.

How are you
sleeping through this?

Kwanie? Kwan-Kwan!

♪ Keep up

Hi. So sorry.
Who are you?

There's a neuron
that holds the smell

of your prom date's cologne.

Another neuron
contains the sound

of your dress being zipped up.

And one for your favorite song
you danced to that night.

Are you going to work?
It's 3:00 in the morning.

Tell that to Griffith.

Hey, who's that girl
in your room? No one.

Why are you down here?
Does she snore?

I'm going back to sleep.

To remember the whole evening,

you need all of these neurons
to communicate with each other

to make a complete picture.

But when the brain
experiences trauma,

these neurons can be starved
of oxygen and die.

Ugh, they forgot to place
a supply order last week.

We're down to
the last case of 4x4.

Can we steal from cardio?If we can borrow
a nurse for clinic.

Yeah. How did this place
survive a week without us?

Beyond me.
Hey, do you know a Nora Young?

Yeah, she grew up
down the street from me.

She was one
of my sister's friends. Why?

Well, Megan's
sending her here.

She has a perfed esophagus
from a Nissen procedure.

They tried to repair it,
but it still has a leak.

[ Sighs ] You know,
I haven't seen Nora in years.

She was kind of a pain.
Very bossy and tightly wound.

I mean assertive
and goal-oriented.

Instead of complete memories,
you're left with glimpses.

Good morning.

I hope you are ready
to hit the ground running.

I've got some new ideas
for genetic targets.

Is that a new
PCR machine?

Where'd that come from?

Dr. Ridgeson
got an NIH grant.

Kate Ridgeson?

Why's she putting her equipment
in my lab?

It's her lab now.

♪ Get gone, gravity

Right.♪ You ain't got control on me

Of course.
No sense letting a lab

sit idle
for one whole week.

I will check in with operations
and, uh, see what's available.

♪ Keep up

A smell, a taste, a feeling.

♪♪

Morning.

And once you start
losing bits of memory...

♪♪

[ Clears throat ]

Guess I'll take
the stairs.

...there's no way
to get them back.

There is supposed to be a ding
before the doors open.

Where was the ding?Okay. Let's take a step back.

She's seen plenty
of people kiss.

She's our boss,
one of our many bosses --

Exactly. She has
way more important things

to worry about today.

We are gonna go out there,
like the badasses we are,

like nothing happened,
and all will be well.

[ Both exhale deeply ]

[ Door opens ]

Have you seen Catherine?

Uh, she should
be here soon.

Excuse you.
I was here first.

Well, this can't wait.

Uh, didn't you
get fired?

I wouldn't use
those words.

[ Door opens ]

Dr. Fox,
do you have a minute?

Okay, I know we've had
our differences,

but I would like
to talk to you

about coming back
as residency director.

We had an appointment
to discuss my research.

Didn't we, Dr. Fox?

Call my assistant

and make an appointment,
Dr. Bailey, please.

D-- Oh.

Put on heels
for this.

Sit.

You've got some nerve.

How about, "Thank you

for flying all the way across
the country to check on me

'cause no one knows
I'm being treated

for Budd-Chiari syndrome"?

Do you have
a butterfly?

Go easy, now.

Or what?
You'll fire me?

Over there.
Okay, thanks.

Okay,
but if she's his cousin,

then why wouldn't he
just say that, right?

Simone: Kwan has some
mystery woman visiting.

Lucas: Good for him.
I don't care.

You know what's
gonna be fun?

July, when you're
an intern again

and we're all your bosses.Ha-ha.

Hi. Hello. Hi.
Good morning.Morning.

Where's Kwan?Blue: Here. I'm here.

Okay, for a second there,
I thought you were sick,

Which is a great reminder.

If you're feeling under the
weather, do not get together,

because I-I really -- I cannot
have you dropping like flies.

I'm going to bring up
the schedule now.

What's she doing here?

She wanted me
to tell her about us.

At the hospital?

Yeah.
She refused to leave.

Guess the amnesia didn't
erase her stubborn streak.

Okay, so, Griffith,
you're with Altman.

Yasuda,
you're with Beltran.

Uh, Shepherd is back,

so, Millin, you'll be with her
in neuro.

Kwan, you're with Hunt.
Oh, and, Adams,

it looks like you are all set
to help me with progress notes.

Although Ndugu did request you,
so it's your call.

Uh, maybe I should
just see what Ndugu wants.

Oh, yeah.
Great idea.

Ooh, so if anybody
wants to do a switcheroo,

I have a spot open
with me.

So -- And we --
Sure. No. Okay.

Yeah.

Go, team!
[ Laughs ]

If you take down a dressing
to look at a wound,

you have to redo it.

I have my own job,
okay?

I can't follow you around
all day cleaning up your messes.

She does not hold back,
does she?

She does not.

And yesterday
I would've thrown down.

But today I am trying
something new.

Oh, yeah?
What's that?

Professional detachment.

I know I'm not getting
the peds fellowship.

I saw the list
of ranked applicants.

Somebody left it
at the nurses' station.

I'm sorry.
I-I wanted to tell you.

It's okay.

I-I knew my ABSITE
wasn't competitive enough,

and I don't have
the research experience.

[ Sighs ]
I will find something else.

No question.

Alright,
let's go round.

Cal: Did you know that there are
more than 200 frozen dead people

on Mount Everest?Mika: That's nothing.

Ever hear of a little boat
called the Titanic?

Monica:
Elvis died on the toilet.

Not that you know
who that is.

James: Heart attack,
not constipation.

Common misconception.

Lovely.I'm the cool chaplain.

Eddie:
Ever since Cal's mom died,

he's, uh, been a little obsessed
with death.

Oh, I was obsessed with
embalming when I was your age,

so I get it.

Yasuda?Mika: Cal Huang, 15.

Diagnosed eight years ago
with Li-Fraumeni syndrome,

a genetic disorder
associated

with an increased likelihood
of cancer.

He's in remission for
an adrenocortical carcinoma

treated two years ago.

Admitted from clinic
for a work-up

of his increasing
mid-back pain.

He hasn't been able to sleep,
barely has an appetite.

It's another tumor,
isn't it?

Let's not get ahead
of ourselves.

We need to run
some more tests

to get to the bottom
of this pain.

But your labs have
come back normal so far.

Yeah, Dr. Schmitt's right.
One step at a time.

Dr. Yasuda will take you
to get your CT scan,

and I'll come check on you
when we have the results.

Is now a good time
to talk about

getting the funding
for my research project back?

Do you want my clot
to just blow?

Meredith.

Why didn't you tell me
you were coming back to town?

D-Did you
change your mind?

Are you back
at the Fox Foundation?

I'm working out the details.What does that mean?

What's happening
with the research funding?

Did Catherine say something?Now's not really a good time.

Why won't you give me
a straight answer?

Can we talk about this later?
I'm checking on a patient.

Your scans are up.
Liver cancer?

What?

That liver's
covered in tumors.

♪♪

♪♪

Dr. Ndugu?

I was told
you requested me.

Yeah, I did.

Dr. Pierce said you declined
her offer in Chicago.

Yeah, it was
a great opportunity,

but I'm happy
where I am.

Well, we have some great
opportunities here, too.

How about you join us today
in the skills lab?

Yeah, we're setting up
a vascular anastomosis lab

for the residents.

Teddy: Dr. Webber,
I've been looking for you.

I wanted to thank you
for holding down the fort

while I was gone.

I was overlooking
the OR schedule,

and it is a mess
without Bailey,

so I hope it's okay,
but I took the liberty

of filling up your schedule
for the next two weeks.

And don't worry.
It's not all hernias.

Who said
you should do that?

Well, it's the chief's job
to oversee the schedule.

You're not the chief.

Well, Catherine said
that I had my job back.

You are employed
as a cardiothoracic surgeon.

Now, when you can do that job
without breaking the rules

or without stealing any money,
then we'll see about chief.

I see.

Okay. Thank you.

We've been at this a while.

What do you say we,
uh, get out of here,

take a break?That's not necessary.

Maybe not for you.

I haven't left the hospital
in 36 hours.

You golf, right?

You too, Adams.

So, are you going to
tell me who she is,

or am I going to have to
pry it out of you?

Hey. Welcome back.Thanks.

Let's go.

EMT:
Nora Young, 46, female.

Status post
Nissen fundoplication,

complicated by
an esophageal perforation,

post primary repair
with ongoing leak and infection.

Rooster, look at you,
all grown up.

Hi, Nora.
Is she talking to you?

Afraid so.
Ah.

Owen --
Uh, sorry, Dr. Hunt.

God, that sounds weird.

Dr. hunt played Rooster

in Taft Middle School's
nineteen eighty --

oh, the year doesn't matter --
production of "Annie."

You're a theater kid?

Listen, I did one play
for extra credit.

He wore suspenders,
and his little voice cracked.

Okay, uh, this is my wife,
Dr. Teddy Altman.

She's gonna be
taking care of you.

Welcome to Grey-Sloan.Thank you so much.

I know you're busy.
Megan said you're the boss.

[ Chuckles ] Yeah.
Well, I'm glad to help.

Any friend of Megan's
is a friend of ours.

Alright, we'll upload those
scans from the last hospital

and take it from there.Thank you.

Let's go.

Hey, hey.
Um...

You okay?
Yeah, yeah. I'm fine.

Hey, uh, I have to
do a baptism.

Could you give this
to Cal?

A coffin catalog?

Yeah, he -- he really
wanted camo,

but the closest I could find
was Army green.

He's 15.

He has a genetic disorder
that predisposes him to cancer.

Okay, you don't
need to explain

my patient's pathology
to me.

If you want to give this to him,
which I highly advise against,

you'll have to
do it yourself.

Are you at peace
with mortality, Doctor?

Father,
with all due respect --

It's Reverend.
But you can call me James.

Great. Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to get back to work.

Is that
a coffin catalog?

So, good news is it looks like
a benign schwannoma

of the thoracic group,
but it's huge.

Can we resect it?

I don't see how.
It's so close to the spine.

Look at all of the consults that
haven't yet scheduled procedures

and try to get some
of those on the books.

Dr. Shepherd,
I didn't know you were back.

Oh, well, yeah,
just trying to ease back in.

Well, sorry to mess up
your plans,

but could you
take a look at this?

I can't figure out
the right approach.

Wow, that is a puzzle.Yeah.

Do you think you could
squeeze in a consult?

He's in a lot of pain.

I think I can probably
shuffle some things around.

Let's schedule an MRI

and a spinal 3-D reconstruction
on these scans.

So this is it.
This is how I die.

We don't know that.

[ Scoffs ] I know
my primary cancer, Meredith.

The scan tells me
it's mets or new cancer.

Neither is a good option.

We won't know that for sure
until we get further testing.

Don't placate me.

Fine. You don't want me
to placate you.

You need to tell Richard.
No.

He can help you
through this. No, Meredith.

He would want
to help you.

Do you know how many
complications I have every year?

Low neutrophils,
pain in my back,

pain in my chest,
pain in my ass.

I don't want Richard
panicking every month,

every week,
putting his life on hold,

waiting to see
if I'm going to die.

It's not over.
This is not the end.

Maybe not for you,
but it is for me.

This is gonna sound weird
given where I am right now,

but I feel like
a movie star.

You're right.
That does sound weird.

I have four kids.

My life is laundry
and making lunches.

And today I was whisked away
in a plane,

and you're giving me blankets
I didn't even wash.

Probably sounds
so sad to you.

Are you kidding?
I don't know how moms do it.

SSRIs and wine.

At least that's
how I do it.

Do you always want
a big family?

I wanted to be
a White House reporter.

Then I met my husband.

His family has a sugar beet farm
in the country.

And it's this big operation.

Every farmer
needs his wife.

Needed. We're at the finish line
of a long divorce.

I'm sorry.
I'm not.

After this, we'll check
on your labs and CT,

and then Dr. Altman will be
back to discuss next steps.

How did she end up
on this floor?

Are you hooking up
with a patient's granddaughter?

No.

Hey, you shouldn't be here
in the ICU.

Um, I brought you
a bagel.

I saw you didn't
eat anything this morning.

I never eat breakfast.

And that used to
drive you crazy.

Well, it's the most important
meal of the day.

Coffee is the most important
meal of the day.

If we were engaged, why could
I only find one photo of you?

I don't know.

How did we meet?

At a Halloween party.

You were dressed up
as a giant disco ball.

It was so big
that you couldn't

fit in through
the bathroom door.

I was waiting
to go next,

and then you asked me
if I could hug the costume

so you could squeeze in.

We looked so dumb,
and we couldn't stop laughing.

And I saw your reflection

on the tiny little mirrors
on the costume.

And I remember
thinking...

there's no view
of this person I didn't like.

Well, that must have
been nice,

to be loved like that.

Why did we break up?

It was complicated.

What does that mean?

[ Monitor beeping rapidly ]Code blue!

Woman:
Code blue, fourth floor...

I need a crash cart
in here now!

Code blue, fourth floor,
surgical ICU.

There.

Ahh.

Okay,
northeasterly breeze.

Show you fellas
how this is done.

♪♪

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. No.

[ Thudding ]

Isn't the hole
over there?

Maybe the sun
got in his eyes.

Alright, I'm a little rusty.
That's okay.

Adams, you any good?I'm alright.

Okay.

That was just alright?

Well, compared to the guys
I normally play with.

I think this young man
just insulted us, Dr. Ndugu.

Hey, you saw
where my ball went.

Well, let's see
if I still got it.

[ Clears throat ]

Whew! That's a beauty
right there.

You're going down.

[ Laughter ]

Teddy:
Alright, bring me up to speed.

She vomited
over a liter of blood.

We can't get a read
on her BP anymore.

She's about to code.Alright,
with this much bleeding,

it could be an upper GI
or an aorto-esophageal fistula.

Griffith, you're gonna help me
place a Minnesota tube.

I need Kerlix, an IV bag,
and X-ray.

I'm in.
Color change noted.Great.

Griffith, have you ever
placed a balloon tamponade?

You're gonna take this.
It is just like an OG tube.

You are gonna place
a catheter

down the throat
behind the ET tube.

Yep.

I think I'm
in the stomach.

Inflate
the gastric balloon.

Alright,
let me take a look.

Perfect. Alright,
let's get X-ray out of here.

We need to
engage traction.

Alright, Kwan, hook up suction
to the esophageal port.

Good, good, good.

You're right. Bleeding must be
coming from the esophagus.

Alright, inflate
the esophageal balloon.

We have seconds
before she codes.

Should we hang another unit?Yes. Where are we, Griffith?

Esophageal balloon
is inflated.

Great job, everyone.
What's the plan?

TEVAR and stent
to cover the fistula?

Excellent. Alright, Kwan,
book and IR suite.

Bleeding has stopped.

Dr. Bailey.

Dr. Bailey,
I need a consult.

Oh, go ask someone
on the payroll.

If this is about this morning,
I'm sorry.

[ Scoffs ]
Are you?

Well, you didn't seem sorry
when you brazenly

got in the way of me
trying to get my job back.

And you don't seem sorry at all
that Sydney Heron

is still bossing
myinterns around.

Wait.
Sydney Heron's back?

Yeah, in all her perky,
passive-aggressive glory.

So you need a consult,
page her.

I'm not paging
Sydney Heron.

Well, call Webber.

I can't.
And why not?

Because the patient
doesn't want him to know.

Amelia: Alright,
what are we looking at?

Jules: The schwannoma has
invaded this spinal column,

and now it is compressing
the cord.

Well, it's incredible
that he made it this long

without becoming
symptomatic.

Yeah, well, he spent his life
in and out of hospitals.

At this point,
his pain tolerance is very high.

Mika: Can't imagine being 15,
knowing that every moment,

your cells could be mutating
into cancer,

and still have to
take a geometry final.

Levi:
If we do an anterior approach,

we won't be able to assess
the posterior margins.

And if we go in
posteriorly,

we can't access
the thoracic component.

Can we just turn him over
during surgery?

Well, we wouldn't have to
if he's on his side.

Dr. Beltran,
you could open his chest

and work
from front to back,

and then I could open his back
and work my way forward.

You think
that's too risky?

I think risky
is all Cal has.

Let's go talk to him
and his dad.

Um, Cal's not
in his room.

Where is he?
The chaplain said

that he was taking him
somewhere and not to worry.

[ Sighs ]
What?

He's part
of the care team.

Nora has an
aorto-esophageal fistula,

and I can't find anyone
to help me repair her esophagus.

Why is no one
answering OR six?

I'm sure we can find someone
to help.

Are you magic? Can you just
pull someone out of thin air?

Because Bailey
works across the street,

Richard has
taken the day off,

and Sydney Heron's
in an emergency debridement.

Who's Sydney Heron?She's the new Bailey.

And she's an acquired taste
which I will never have.

Pretty sure Richard wouldn't
mind coming in for an emergency.

I don't think
that's a good idea.Why not?

He could do an esophageal stent
in his sleep.

Richard is not
stepping down from chief.

He said
that he doesn't trust me.

So I don't think that he and I
should be operating together.

Could you finish up
in here, please?

Thanks.

What do you mean
he said he doesn't trust you?

What did you say
to that?

Nothing.
His mind is made up.

Alright, you know
what I'm gonna do?

I am gonna
call in Richard,

and I'll just
replace myself.

Beckman can do it.

No, Nora came all this way
to see you.

I'll do it.
I'll stent the esophagus.

Tis is your first day back
in the trauma room.

And you are the best damn CT
surgeon in this whole hospital.

Let me help.
Thank you. Okay.

I'll see you
in the OR.

Meredith: She doesn't want
any type of intervention.

I practically had to hold her
down for her blood draw.

I don't blame her.
She's been through a lot.

I didn't think
you and Catherine

were exactly on good terms
these days.

Are you on good terms
with all of your patients?

She's a trailblazer.
I respect her.

She paved the way,
showed me what was possible.

I owe her my career,
even if I'm sidelined right now.

Although, in fairness,
that was my decision.

Okay, look, see,
these masses

look like they've
been growing for a while.

By now, wouldn't you think
there'd be mets

in other places, too?

It could be a different
primary cancer.

What if it isn't
cancer at all?

Maybe hemangiomas or other
fatty changes from ischemia.

The odds of that
are almost nonexistent.

It's Catherine Fox.
Anything's possible.

[ Indistinct conversation ]

Hey, what are you doing
out here?

Cal: Just planning
my funeral

in case I croak.

Levi: You're not dying.

What you have
is a benign tumor

that we are going to
remove today.

Yasuda, will you please
take Cal up to his room?

Mika: Alright.
Train's leaving.

He wanted
to plan his funeral.

I know that he'll likely
get more cancers,

and I know that one of them
will probably take his life.

But I can't think about that
right now,

because I have to focus on
removing the gigantic one

that's impinging
on his spine.

That's quite the God complex
you have there.

I'm doing my job.Screw your job.

Be a person.

His whole obsession
with death,

the facts, the jokes --
he's scared.

He's telling you
he is scared.

He has an incurable
genetic disease.

I can't fix that for him.
I can't make that go away.

And if I can't, there's sure
as hell nothing you can do.

Look, you might have
more schooling than me.

You might
get more respect.

You don't have
all the answers

And you do?

I don't have
anyanswers.

All I can do is listen.

You should try it.

♪♪

Found it!

Oh, no.
It's a rock.

[ Laughs ]

Your uncle and I
had a standing game

every week
in the summer.

Yeah, he was obnoxiously
good at everything.

Not golf.

All the way
he shanked that ball.

How'd you get to be
so good?

Oh, my dad
pushed me to learn.

Said it'd helped me socialize
with my colleagues one day.

I guess he had a point.

Yeah,
sometimes I forget.

It's nice to get out of the
hospital with your colleagues.

Actually, now that
I think about it,

your uncle and I used to play
with Phil Kopelman.

He's an ENT, but now he runs
the outreach over at the ACGME.

Wouldn't hurt
to give him a call.

You think he could do something
about my remediation?

He's a fair guy.

I mean, if he doesn't feel that
the punishment fits the crime,

I'm sure
he'll do what he can.

But, um, don't tell Catherine
I said that.

Yeah, we don't talk
that much.

Here it is. Look at that.
Not too far from the green.

You're still in the rough,
Ndugu.

This is not a good time.

We just need
two minutes.

I am not in the mood

to debate anybody's
employment status.

We're here to discuss
your health.

My health is fine.
Thank you.

She's seen the scans.Damn it, Grey.

You can believe that I'm gonna
sue you for breaking HIPAA.

Your lawyers know
where to find me.

I needed a consult.

Can't you give me the dignity
of just dying in private?

But what if
it isn't cancer?

You saw the scans.

I did, and while
they are concerning,

there's a chance
that the lesions

are a benign finding

of your subacute
Budd-Chiari syndrome.

And we could do a biopsy
to find out.

My liver is teeming
with lesions.

A biopsy could cause bleeding,
a stroke.

It's dangerous.
It's absurd.

Why would you
even recommend that?

Because it's what
Richard taught me to do.

And I think it's what
he would want.

[ Cellphone buzzing ]
Mm.

Richard's ears
are burning.

♪♪

Um, what's happening?

I don't know.

Is she having
the stroke now?

Well, come on.
Y'all want to talk?

Let's go talk.Okay, okay.

Dr. Cunningham to the OR.

Dr. Nyema Cunningham
to the OR.

How's your patient
doing?

I have to take her up to surgery
in a few minutes.

Oh, does that mean
you have a minute to talk?

I really should
head back upstairs.

I can't leave here
until I know our whole story.

I swear, I'm not trying
to take advantage.

I know your time
is valuable.

Does it really matter
what happened?

You seem happy.

That doesn't mean
I don't want answers.

I mean, until Dave,

this was the most significant
relationship in my entire life.

I have no idea
why it ended.

I mean,
wouldn't you want to know?

You don't have
any pictures of me

because you
deleted them all.

I came home one night,

and you were crying
on the floor.

You had found out
that I had cheated on you.

We -- We were young.

The wedding was getting closer,
and I kept thinking about

how my mom
wasn't gonna be there.

And it was a stupid,
drunk mistake

that I have regretted
every single day since.

I'm sure it was devastating
at the time,

but I'm okay now.

You don't have anything
to regret.

I haven't even told you
the worst part.

After we fought,
you got in the car.

And an hour later,

I got a call that you
had been in a wreck.

The accident?

♪♪

Yeah, well,
that was nobody's fault.

No, but if you hadn't been
so upset, then I --

I stopped thinking
that way a long time ago.

I'm at peace with it.

I got to start over.

♪♪

♪♪

Amelia:
More suction, please.

Alright, how's it going
over there?

Making my final cut.

Great.
Millin, more traction.

Alright, someone
get a basin ready.

I'm going to remove
the last piece.

We got the whole tumor?

Well, path will confirm,

but to my eye,
the margins look good.

[ Rapid beeping ]No, no, no, no, no, no.
He's bleeding.

Where?
I can't see.

Do you have anything
on your side?

No, nothing.Lap pads.

Could it be bleeding from
the vessel feeding the tumor?

It seems to be coming
from normal tissue.

Ah, found it.
Dr. Schmitt is correct.

It's coming from
an intercostal artery.

Millin, I'm gonna
have you tie it off.

Right angle and silk tie,
please.

Thank you.

You got it?

Jules: Alright.
Like this?

Yeah. Good.

Make sure the knot
is square.

That's great.Okay. What now?

Now we celebrate.

Great job, everybody.

Monica: Dr. Schmitt,
after we take him to post-op,

would you like to tell his dad
the good news?

On it.

Teddy:
Deploying the stent.

She didn't
seem bossy to me.

Nora and Megan used to make me
pitch batting practice to them,

and they would heckle me,

in very colorful language,
I might add.

Bet she didn't expect
to put her life in your hands.

Okay, let's get ready
to inject the dye.

Okay.
[ Alarm beeping ]

Damn it.
Get me a balloon for dilation.

Griffith, what do you see?Blood is coming from the stent.

Correct.
Kwan, next steps?

You dilate the balloon to push
the stent into the aortic wall

to stop the leak.Good job.

Alright.
Inserting the balloon.

Alright, balloon is in.
Inflating the balloon.

♪♪

Good.

Alright, inject the dye.

Simone:
Leak is fixed.

Great work, everyone.Let's remove the sheath

so Dr. Hunt can place
the esophageal stent.

Levi: The surgery couldn't
have gone better.

Thank you.
Cal's a great kid.

When he wakes up, I found
a killer death fact for him.

Oh. That was actually
unintentional.

[ Rapid beeping ]Get me lorazepam.

What's happening?Page Beltran and Shepherd.

On it.Okay. You're okay.
I'm here.

Now, that's what you call
a birdie.

I'd just like to state
that if we played football,

I would have wiped the floor
with both of you.

I wouldn't be so sure.

Why don't you go
return the cart?

[ Laughs ]

Well, we still got
some daylight.

You want to go hit some
on the driving range?

[ Laughs ]

What?

You don't see
how ridiculous it is

that you're worried about losing
steam in the operating room?

You've got more focus
and stamina than an intern.

Look,
golf is different.

It's not that different.

Both take endurance
and concentration,

that fire
in your belly.

Look,
I made a mistake.

Yeah, we all
make mistakes.

Not everybody
is over 65.

Yeah, I don't buy it.
Don't get me wrong.

It's good
that you're taking stock.

It'd be irresponsible
not to.

But from where I stand,
you're still going strong.

[ Siren wailing in distance ]

Why do they have to have
peanut shells on the floor?

Uh, do you want to go
someplace else?

There's a nice, um, sushi
restaurant across the street.

No, this is
the one place

Richard won't think
to look for me.

Would you like
to discuss your options?

I understand
my pros and cons.

What I don't know is if I have
the fortitude, the energy.

My body is tired.

And what you're asking,
more surgery,

another treatment --

Unless it's benign.

We know the odds of that
are minuscule.

But they're not nothing.

Catherine Fox, well,
I expected more from you.

You have shattered every glass
ceiling, beaten every odd.

Right?
Why are yougiving up?

You better
watch your tone

if you want your job back,
Dr. Bailey.

Look, I'll find another job
if I need to,

but come on,
you have so much to live for.

Why won't you try?

Do you think
I'm just sitting back,

waiting for death to come
and snuff me out?

Most days I feel like
the same young woman I was

with the world
at my feet.

But I don't believe in miracles.
I believe in science.

And the science
is not on my side.

Maybe.
Or maybe not.

But we won't know
unless you let us do the biopsy.

How many of your patients
have beaten the odds?

Why them and not you?

Fine.
Do the damn biopsy.

But one of you
pay for the drinks.

[ Siren wailing in distance ]

I'm glad you called Megan
when you did.

You were a lot sicker
than anyone realized.

We almost lost you.

Yeah, but now you're
gonna make a full recovery.

Thank you,
all of you.

Our pleasure.It's Megan.

Are you okay
if I give her the update?

Please.
I owe her my life.

Okay, let's order
some post-op labs.

Mm-hmm.Thanks.

You really grew up
to look like your dad.

I can't believe
you remember him.

I mean, you must have been
6 or 7 when he died.

He put me
on his shoulders once

so I could reach
the monkey bars.

I never forgot it.

It was good seeing you.

I got here as fast as I could.
What are --

Oh, my God.

Diffuse intrinsic
pontine glioma.

With satellite lesions.

But he gets yearly
full-body scans.

This was just missed?

It could have been too small
to catch on his last one.

I mean, this is a rapid-growing
malignant brain tumor.

Soon it is gonna start affecting
all of his vital functions --

breathing,
blood pressure, heart.

Jules: Isn't there anything
we can do for him?

Radiation, chemo?

I mean, we could put him
through radiation,

but it'll give him
maybe two agonizing months.

So it's
a death sentence.

I'll go talk to Cal
and his dad.

I'll do it.
I'll tell them.

[ Siren wailing in distance ]

♪♪

It's Nurse Karen's
birthday.

We tried a dozen
different cakes for our wedding.

And you wanted lemon.

I think that was actually
our biggest fight.

It never gets
less weird.

I mean, I just met you,

but we also fought
about cake fight years ago.

You've broken
the space-time continuum.

[ Both laugh ]

♪ How to know
the storm is close ♪

Yeah.

♪ And not to fear it

I see why I liked you.

Yeah?

Mm-hmm.

You're funny
and you're smart.

You know, and when you smile,
your eyes do this...

this sparkly thing.

No, no, no.

♪ ...to the end

[ Both laugh ]

See? Funny.

You know,
and you bring me cake,

even when you've spent all day
saving other people's lives.

I don't have feelings about
the memories that I've lost,

because, I mean,
you can't miss something

that you didn't know
happened in the first place.

But I wish
I remembered you.

♪ Every little drop of rain

Mm. I -- Wow.

I am --
I'm so, so sorry.

It's fine.
No, no, it's, uh --

It's fine.
No, no, no, it's --

it's been a long day.

There's a lot going on
in my mind.

You're good.
It's okay.

Um, I should --
I should get back inside.

♪ With the grand design

But if...

if you ever need
anything, you --

I know where
to find you.

♪ Dance me to the end

♪ Back to where it all began

♪ Sing me home,
sing me home ♪

How long do I have?

♪ Sing me home

Uh, it could be

anywhere from weeks
to months.

That's it?

I'm so sorry.

Do you --

Do you have that feeling
when school's over

and you're outside playing
with all your friends

and it feels like summer
could last forever?

It's because our perception
of time isn't fixed.

Two months could feel
like 10 years,

and 10 years can go by
in a blink of an eye.

Hey.
Hey, hey.

We -- We can cram a lot
into a few months.

♪ Sing me home

[ Crying ]
I don't want to die.

[ Sobbing ]

Um...

♪♪

♪ Oh, sing me home

What do you want
to do...

...before you die?

You've always wanted
to go to space camp.

Okay.
That's a good one.

What else?

I want to go see
Mount McKinley.

And reread
"Lord of the Rings."

That is -- That is literally
one of my favorites, too.

[ Sniffles ]

[ Sobbing ]

Oh, you come in under par?
It's okay.

Ndugu told me
that you guys hit the links.

I did fine.
Must be nice.

Sorry?Oh, I've just never had friends
in high places.

That's not why I'm here,
if that's what you're implying.

I got the highest ABSITE score
in my class.

[ Laughing ] Oh, is that --
is that how it works?

Get the highest score,
and then they take your golfing?

Guess I should have
studied more.

Teddy:
I have to hand it to Megan.

She knew something was wrong,
and she pushed to make it right.

Megan made a few phone calls.
You saved a life.

I'll be right back.
Yeah.

Dr. Webber.

I want chief back.

Okay.

I have a whole speech
about why I deserve it.

Take the win, Altman.

[ Chuckles ]

♪ Give me something real
to long for ♪

I'm gonna stay
a little later.

Go do
what you need to do.

♪ Every time I feel safe

♪ I find a trapdoor

♪ If I'm down

Today can suck it.

♪ At least I know the score

That poor kid.
Mm-hmm.

In less
depressing news,

I caught two interns kissing
in the elevator.

Oh, nice.

Remember when
we were interns

and our futures
felt so bright?

Everything was possible.

Now I'm pretty sure Meredith
is hiding something from me.

And my department
reassigned all of my cases

while I was gone.

I don't know
what to do next.

I do.

Hi.Hi. I'd say welcome back,
but I've been gone, too.

Uh, we're not back.

We need your help.

We're doing a procedure
in the clinic.

Can we have
a scrub nurse?

A scrub nurse
in the clinic?

Okay,
who's the attending?

Oh, come on.

I just got my job back.

I know, and I also know
that I'm the one responsible

for you losing it,
and I would never ask you

if this wasn't a matter
of life and death.

Okay.
Don't make me regret it.

[ Chuckles ]

James: Hey.

That was rough.
You okay?

I thought, uh,
that if I walled off the pain...

that it wouldn't hurt.

But...

[Scoffs]
I was wrong.

[ Crying ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Sail

Meredith:
There are some memories

we probably
wouldn't mind losing.

The deaths, the breakups,
the hard times.

You heading out soon?

I'm catching up
on Heron's progress notes.

What is gonna happen when
you're repeating intern year,

doing notes,
changing bandages,

and I get to operate?

♪ The sound is hypnotizing

This isn't about you.

I don't want
to be bailed out.

That's what
my family does.

But I don't want
to be that person.

I want to take responsibility
for my mistakes.

♪ Time

But it is a little
about me, right?

♪ Here freedom comes

But memories, like neurons,

work together
to make you who you are.

♪ Release the weight
I'm carrying ♪

♪ And join with the horizon

[ Video game playing ]

What?

Man: Back out!
Take cover!

[ Gunfire]

♪ Watch me fly

Hey. You okay?

♪ Sail

Meredith: If all we remembered
were the good times...

Alright.
Prepare to be vanquished.

Oh, I am going to
destroy you.

...our friendships
wouldn't be as strong...

Jules, what are you doing?
Get out of the corner!

Yep, listen to her.

♪♪

You okay?

I'm fine, baby.

...and our loves
wouldn't be as sweet.

♪ Oh, my love ♪ Oh, my love♪

♪ A thousand kisses from you ♪ A thousand kisses from you♪

♪ And it's never too much ♪ And it's never too much♪

♪ And I just don't
want to stop ♪♪ And I just don't want to stop♪

♪ Oh, my love♪

Come on.
I love it when you sing.

[ Chuckles ]

♪ A million days in your arms ♪ A million days in your arms♪

♪ And it's never too much ♪ And it's never too much♪

♪ Never too much,
never too much, never too much ♪

Both: ♪ And I just don't
want to stop ♪

♪ Never too much,
never too much, never too much ♪

Meredith: So cling to the bad
along with the good.

One day you'll be glad you did.

♪♪

- -Captions by VITAC--

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪