All language subtitles for Your.Friends.And.Neighbors.S01E07-en

Diamonds have no inherent value.
We know this.

And yet, the Van Cleef and Arpels
Snowflake choker

retails for roughly the same price
as a Rolls-Royce.

Why are diamonds so pricey?

It's the result of the most successful
cartel in modern history

telling the Sherman Act to go fuck itself,

and an 80-year-old marketing campaign

that linked compressed carbon
to eternal love.

They say a diamond is forever.

But as recent events have borne out,
forever isn't what it used to be.

What are you doing here?

- We live here.
- Coming for breakfast, Coop?

You don't live here.

Neither do you.

The negotiator.

Pass the syrup.

- The syrup.
- The syrup.

Go fuck yourself.

You really ought to get better at sharing.

Get outta here.

Relax, Coop. We're all family.

I'll fucking kill you.

You can't kill me, Coop.

Because you're already dead.

Hey. Look who's up.

Hi, Daddy.

Hey, kiddo.

How you feeling?

Pretty good, actually.

That's because the doctors gave you
all that morphine.

- Hon.
- What? I saw. It was too much.

Can we get you anything?

Water, please. That'd be great.

The doc came by to see you,

- but we didn't wanna wake you.
- Thanks, buddy.

How long was I out?

Twelve hours.

Jesus. I should get
my ass kicked more often.

They were out of Doritos, but I got...

Oh, snap. Hey. Mr. Cooper.

I thought you dumped him.

Dad.

- He's still pretty out of it, so...
- Yeah.

- I feel great.
- It's all good.

Hello.

Bad time?

Can I help you?

I'm sorry. I'm Detective Rebecca Lin.

I was hoping to get a minute or two
with Mr. Cooper.

Another tennis injury?

Not quite.

Do you know her?

She interviewed me about Paul.

What about him?

I have a few questions about last night.

If you're up for it.

Or I can come back later?

So, guys, why don't you
take your grandparents to lunch?

Millie's doesn't open until noon.

Then we will be the first ones there.

Come on, everybody. Let's go.

I usually prefer
to do these interviews alone.

I'll go see Barney.

How's he doing?

I'll let you know.

Beautiful family you got there.

You're too kind. What can I do for you?

Why don't you tell me about last night?

I don't remember much.

Well, what do you remember?

I remember getting jumped.

It's a weird one though, no?

I don't have a whole hell of a lot
to compare it to, so...

Well, for starters,
the assailants didn't take anything.

Which is a little unusual.

Okay.

Maybe Barney getting hit by the car
might have thrown a wrench into things?

So you do remember something after all.
And I will be talking to Mr. Choi later.

To be honest with you, Mr. Cooper,

this attack doesn't feel random
to me at all.

It feels like you were targeted.

Why would anyone wanna target me?

Why would anyone kill Paul Levitt?

I don't see the connection.

You know, I used to be a cop in the Bronx.

Violent crimes were a dime a dozen.

But not here. This is a very quiet town.

We don't see
a lot of violent crimes here at all.

And in the past few days,
a man was brutally murdered in his home.

- A man who you recently fought with.
- It wasn't a fight.

And then you were attacked and beaten
with gusto, right there on Main Street,

with no apparent motive.

And your friend Barney is down the hall
picking pavement out of his teeth.

Again, I fail to see the connection here.

It's you, Mr. Cooper.

You're the connection.

It seems to me that being your friend
is a dangerous proposition.

Does that mean we're not gonna be friends?

I heard you left your job a month back.

A fairly common occurrence.

You just said you left your job as a cop
in the Bronx. Why'd you do that?

- Quality of life.
- Hey. Same thing.

Except you were fired.

Semantics.

Where were you coming back from
last night?

Jersey. Took our oldest to see colleges.

Look, I'm just gonna cut to it right here.

I don't know you very well.

The sense I get from you is
you're a man on a downward spiral.

In desperate need of a lifeline.

Now, I'm here right now
offering you that lifeline.

Whatever it is you got yourself into...
I can help.

The thing is...

at some point you're gonna cross a line

and I'm not gonna be able
to help you anymore.

And when that time comes,
all I'll be able to do is take you down.

Well, that is food for thought.
Thanks for coming by, Detective.

Thank you for your time.

That go okay?

Yeah. I mean, you know,
pro forma stuff. Just filling in blanks.

How's Barney?

He's banged up, but he'll recover.

Listen, can we talk
about what happened last night? I...

- I wanna...
- Maybe not right now.

Yeah. Okay.

I'm gonna go.

They're almost ready to discharge you.

I can come back and get you.

No, come on. Just... I can have Ali do it.
You be with the kids.

Hey, Melly.

Guess we really should've just kept on
driving in the opposite direction, huh?

Get some rest.

- ...different. I get to try something.
- That's good.

- I'm sorry, I gotta...
- Okay.

Why do you smell nice?

I'm trying something new. You hate it?

Nah, I didn't say that. What did we get?

Lab reports.

The murder weapon was a .38.
Same gun, all three shots.

And the wife's gun was a .22?

Yep. And she was telling the truth,
her piece has never been fired.

But what is it?

- It was a Taurus TX22.
- No, no.

The scent. It's musky.

Balsam Breeze.
It's made from real balsam oil. And cedar.

Okay. What else?

And citrus notes, I think.

Yes.

The gunshot residue report showed
that the victim also fired a weapon.

But there were no additional bullets
or casings on the scene.

So he either hit something,
or someone fled.

Or...

- We're missing something.
- Yep.

I have the office reaching out
to the local hospitals

to see if any gunshot victims
have been admitted.

Murderers don't usually
check themselves into the ER.

You like Cooper for this?

I don't know if I like him for this,
but I like him for something.

You smell like a Christmas tree.

So they go to every Best Buy in the city.

And they buy external hard drives.

Then they swap them out
with older models that look new

and they return them.

Then they repackage and sell
the new ones on the web, full markup.

So this story ends with your buddy Miggy
buying his momma a new house?

No, of course not.

They traced the serial numbers
to his cards

and busted him.

And you were surprised?

He stayed too long.

The odds got him.

His stupidity got him.

Shit. Damn it.

Hell yeah, still hot and everything.

Sup, E?

No.

What?

Relax, I'm playing.

You do look good though.

What do you want, Félix?

Nothing. I'm good.

Just gotta grab my money
from our little billy goat,

and I'm all set.

What's he talking about?

You don't know?

Damn.

I did a couple runs. That's it.

Well, that would be it.

Except your boy fumbled the drop.

Fucking cops were after me.

This motherfucker hears one siren,

gets so spooked,
he tosses the whole fucking stash.

Tossed it where?

That's the best part.

Tell her.

The East River.

Fucking Shamu's
gotta be high as shit somewhere.

Thing is, that leaves you light.

Okay, how much?

You want to tell her, or should I?

$150,000.

What an idiot.

Actually, 175.

And next week it'll be 200 or so.

That interest is a bitch.

Look, I'm pretty fucking sure
that number is too high for you.

But I can't let that shit go unanswered.

Can I?

- Can I?
- Okay.

It's not a problem.

I'll handle it.

- You'll handle it?
- Yes, that's right.

Last I heard, you were scrubbing toilets
out in God's country.

How the fuck
can you get that kind of money?

That's not your concern.

You know I always liked you, Elena.

You were the real deal back home.

And since we go back,
I'll knock off the interest.

You get me the principal by...

by next week,

and I'll let our billy goat here
live to fight another day.

How the fuck are these so good?

You know they make, like,
ten billion of these a day?

Economies of scale and shit.

That's what's up.

All right.

Be seeing you, billy goat.

And Elena,

if you want to start
making some real paper

you know I always got a place for you.

Uh-huh?

Fuck off, Félix.

Fucking pussy.

$150,000?

What were you thinking?
The fuck is wrong with you?

So what?

You ran drops for Giselle and Raf
for years.

That was back in Santiago, damn it.
Here we have options.

Bullshit.

Maybe you do.

This hospital food is no good.

- Did you make this?
- Course not.

Hey, Andy.

Hey. Thanks for coming.

Are you kidding me?

I never get to drive anymore.
And I forgot how fun it is.

- Do you even have a license?
- Of course.

I mean, technically it's expired, but yes.

Do you wanna drive home?

No.

Just try to keep it on the road, will ya?

- So that detective...
- Lin, yeah.

Yeah. She came by the house.

- Did she?
- Yeah.

I told her you came home
the night Paul Levitt died.

I said you were with me.

Okay.

Listen, you know I had nothing to do
with Paul's death, right?

Course. I know you're not a killer.

And even if you are, you're all I got.

Stop sign.

- Hiya.
- Hey.

Oh, my God. You weren't kidding.

I know.

The amount of paperwork it takes
to put one man into the ground,

it's just mind-boggling.

Well, put me to work.

Okay, well...

- Can I get you something to drink?
- Hi, I'll just...

I'll just have what she's having.

You know what? Just take all of this.

Yeah.

I didn't know you have to apply
for a death certificate.

Yeah. It's a mess.

I mean, I guess it's all
a good distraction for grieving widows,

but honestly, I'm not sure I'm grieving.

That's fair.
How long do you have to stay here?

The cops aren't done at the house.

Hey.

How are you holding up?

I just... I...

I can't really get my arms around it.

I mean, everyone knows
that Paul and I were not on great terms.

And now I have to host his memorial?
What are people going to say to me?

"I know you hated his fucking guts,
but here's a casserole"?

You know, I fucking hate casseroles.

Duly noted. No casseroles.

- Thank you.
- Welcome.

Do you think there's such a thing
as widow impostor syndrome?

Oh, yeah. I think
there's everything impostor syndrome.

- I mean, a part of me is sad, of course.
- Of course.

But, you know,

whenever I think
about being pitied by everyone,

it makes me
want to walk in front of a bus.

I mean, he can't even die without
putting me through one last indignity.

I mean, hats off to you, Paul.
Hell of a power move.

But... Sorry, I don't mean to unload on you.
I know 'cause I heard--

- Are you kidding?
- No, I heard about Coop.

- Don't be ridiculous.
- No, how's he doing?

He's a little beat up, but he'll live.

God. Who would wanna hurt Coop?

Besides me?

Wait, what did he do?

I'm kidding.

I'm actually worried about him.
I feel like he's going through something.

It's not your job to fix that.

I know,

but you live with a person long enough,
you develop a private language.

And just 'cause
you're not married anymore,

it's not like you wake up
and suddenly forget how to speak it.

We were just in Princeton
doing the college tour with Tori

and, you know, it was like...

Little time capsule. "SSA-721."

Well... I don't understand.

The funeral director...
Shouldn't the funeral director do this?

Yeah. That goes into that pile.
That's called other people's shit.

Oh, God. Look. Right here.

Petition for probate.
In legalese, that means we need more wine.

Yeah, I'm an expert now.

Excuse me?

Fifty bucks says
no one knows how to play that thing.

Did you do something different
with your hair?

I have a thing later.

Well, it's good that you nixed the scent.

I knew you hated it.

Yeah, I did.

How'd it go with the girlfriend? Misty?

Nothing seismic.
A bit of a stereotypical second wife.

Seemed pretty broken up over the deceased.

Although, she's probably mourning the new
Range Rover she'll never get to drive.

What about you? You got any hits?

Forensics found trace blood
in the ammonia.

Not a match for Paul.

Looks like our guy must've put up a fight.

And the hospitals?

No gunshot wounds.

But still, someone else
bled on our crime scene.

And then cleaned it up.

I honestly don't understand
why anyone has kids.

Come on. You never thought about it?

No.

I want a whole bunch of kids.

Well, first, let's find you
a woman you can stay with

for more than two months.

That's not fair. Sometimes they dump me.

What is that?

I believe they call that a plush.

It's a nanny cam.

What do you think you'll find on that?

Probably nothing, but it's worth a look.

Hello, Héctor.

Oh! Sweet Jesus!

What the hell are you doing here?

You weren't answering my calls.

You have no idea
the shit that I've been dealing with.

Ever since that murder,

I'm getting nonstop calls
to upgrade alarm systems.

All in Westmont Village.

Sounds like business is good.

Mija, did something happen?

Like what?

They said it was a break-in
that went south.

I've never gone near that house.

Obviously, I've never killed anybody.
That's insane, Héctor!

What about George Clooney?

Of course not.

Coop didn't do it either.

How do you know?

Because I know him.

Are you fucking him?

Jesus Christ! Please.

All I know is that I can't sleep

thinking about what you're doing
with that gringo.

I stare at the ceiling, wondering
when you'll fuck up and get caught.

You don't have to worry about me.

It's not you I'm worried about.

I don't know how I let you
talk me into any of this shit.

We're not criminals, Elena.

Look, I get that you're scared.

But I promise, I got this.

No, I'm out.

And if I were you, I'd get out now too.

Chivo owes Félix $150,000.

Shit.

And you fucking knew.

I heard Chivo was hanging around
those dudes again. That's it.

You didn't think
you should give me a heads up?

You're doing good.
I didn't want him to bring you down.

Which I could have prevented
if you told me about it.

So it's my fault?

Go home, Elena.

So, Ms. Levitt.

I thought you might wanna revise
your statement.

We're gonna need to take a closer look
at that Coop character.

Yep.

God, these people.

You think she knows more
than she's letting on?

Okay.

Hey.

Hey.

- Hey, great show.
- Thanks.

Can I give you a ride?

Yes.

- How's the gig?
- It's all right.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Bingo.

Yeah.

First of all, it was Westlake.
Not Byram Hills.

- How do you remember all this?
- How do you not?

I remember being grounded.

Well, don't look at me.
I didn't tell you to get caught.

There was grass and mud all up
in my mom's tires.

Well, we're lucky your mom didn't snitch.

She always thought I was a bad influence.

I hate that she turned out to be right.

Hey, she wasn't right.

What you went through,
what you're going through...

it's not your fault.

It's nice of you to say.

And hey, if it weren't for you,

I would not have had
any fun in high school.

I was a boring, football-playing mathlete.

And you...

you were fearless.

I was unmedicated.

I admired you.

I still do.

Is that why you're coming to my shows?
To admire me?

I love seeing you up there.

You look like yourself again.

What does that look like?

Like someone who always does
the thing I want to, but can't.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Shit. Goddamn it.

Yeah. Most expensive thing they had
in the gift shop.

It was either this
or a balloon bouquet, so...

Can I get you anything?

Who were those guys?

I have no idea.

Fuck you.

Barney, come on. Believe me.
I don't know who those fucking guys were.

The thing is, Coop,

I don't believe you.

Something's been going on with you, man.

I don't know what it is
or why you won't tell me.

But I've been trying to help you,
and all you do is lie to me.

- Hey, look, Barn, it's not like that.
- You handed me a brick of cash.

- Barney, come on--
- Don't bullshit me!

I'm just trying to protect you.

Well, nice work.

You should go.

- What're you talking about?
- I'd really appreciate it if you left.

Good morning. Dad. Hernandez.

- Morning.
- Did you know Ryan had a date last night?

Oh, yeah. The hair gel.

How was it?

- He didn't make it.
- It's all right, Art.

Sometimes we gotta work late, Dad.

Can we get to work, please?

Hey.

I made eggs. Sit.

He made eggs.

So,

anything usable
from that little dumpster dive?

Yes, actually. I found the blood sample.

Andrew Cooper's blood matched the trace
in the ammonia at the crime scene.

- Say that again.
- Lab just called me. It was a match.

And we're sitting here
talking about your date?

We gotta go. This is huge.

I didn't actually go on the date.

Hernandez, come on.

Mrs. Levitt?

The guests are starting to arrive.

Hi, sweetheart. I'm so sorry.

I'm so terribly sorry. We're here for you.

- Oh, honey.
- I'm okay.

Just write something nice.

- Hey.
- Thank God you're here.

We're so sorry, Sam.

- Thanks, Nick.
- How you doing?

I haven't started drinking yet.

So you're running behind?

Paul's mom came up from Florida.

Either she's gone senile

or he never told her we were divorcing.

- Either way, it's incredibly awkward.
- Yikes.

Yeah.

Well, at least I'm handling it better
than some people.

Thank you.

- You are so kind.
- Yeah.

I guess I can't blame Misty.

I mean, it's a target-rich environment
with a built-in spotlight.

Why not shop for the next man while
the dirt's still settling on your last?

You gotta admire the efficiency.

You know what,
I think I'm ready to start drinking.

Say no more.

Yeah. We gotcha.

Hey.

Good fit.

No, no, no.

Leave them on.

It was a beautiful service.

Thanks.

How you doing?

I'm doing great, Coop.

You need anything?

Babe.

Let me know
when you're ready for the hard stuff.

- Okay.
- Coop.

Can I grab you later? We should talk.

- Great.
- Thank you so much for coming.

I'm coming.

Oh, my God. I'm coming!

Miss Cooper.

- Detective.
- Is Mr. Cooper home?

No, he's not.

We got a warrant to search the premises.

I'm not wearing any pants.

I see that.

- And you are?
- I'm just a friend.

Sure.

- Yeah.
- Is there anyone else in the house?

- No.
- Okay, then.

Let's go.

I'm not going unless I can bring friends.

Take the whole suite.
We're doing August in the Hamptons anyway.

I can't believe you've never been
to Yankee Stadium.

I'm a Met fan.

I'm sorry.

That's not nice.

- Fellas.
- Coop.

- Hey.
- Oh, man.

How're you feeling?

Sore all over.

Yeah, shit.

I know this spot in the city.
Cryotherapy. Incredible.

I'll send you the link.

What is that? Like ice baths?

No, it's actually way better.
I started doing it back in Hokkaido.

The Japanese know what's up.

What did these douchebags
look like anyway?

They looked like two guys
beating the shit out of me.

You know, for the money we pay in taxes

you'd think the cops would be
more on top of this.

First Paul, now this.

Property values are gonna get shaky.

I know.
Diane's been refreshing Zillow every hour.

It's her new thing.

Anyone hear how Barney's doing?

- You see him, Coop?
- Yeah, he's hanging in there.

Well, considering what happened,

Samantha may not wanna live
in that big house anymore.

You really think she'll sell?
That's a nice fucking house, dude.

I don't know, but murder homes
trade for 25% below market. Maybe less.

- Jesus Christ.
- No shit.

I mean, he put in that whole rec room
in the basement right before they split.

I think I'd feel weird about living
in a murder house.

For 25% below market, you'd get over it.

- McNeal, Russo.
- Yes, ma'am.

Upstairs with me.
We'll start in the bedroom.

- Roger that.
- We got it.

Here.

God, you must hate me.

I mean, I would hate me too.

He told me things were over
between you two. And I just...

I really loved him, you know?

Yeah.

I thought we were gonna spend the rest
of our lives together. And now he's...

Yeah, that's hard.

How's Henry? Can I see him?

Samantha, they're almost
out of profiteroles.

Paul would have wanted his guests
to have dessert.

Yeah. Thanks, Pamela. I'll let them know.

Pamela! It is so good to finally meet you.

I loved your son so much.

He'd be so happy to know
that we're finally meeting.

I'm sorry, dear.

Who are you?

Pamela, this is Misty,

the woman your son was fucking
before he passed.

Boss, where are you?

Basement.

You're gonna wanna see this.

Detective Lin.

What?

Well, shit.

Yep.

- Hey, Coop.
- Hey.

Walk with me?

Okay.

- So that detective called me.
- Yeah?

She doesn't think it was a mugging.

Yeah, I know.

Who was the guy in the car, Coop?

- I have no idea.
- Okay.

Whatever is happening with you right now

seems like a really bad time
to shut me out.

Thanks, but I don't need
you worrying about me.

- Your kids...
- Our kids.

...just watched their father
get the shit beaten out of him.

That's not trauma
they're gonna recover from anytime soon.

Okay, well, what about me?
What about my trauma?

- Yes, tell me.
- Right?

Tell me. What is happening?

I'm trying to be here for you,
but you gotta give me something.

Mel...

Okay.

- I have to take this.
- Yep.

God.

Hey, Ali. You know,
this is not a great time.

I didn't know what to do.
They just came in.

Who did? What are you talking about?
Slow down.

The cops. And they had a warrant
and... Fuck. I didn't know what to do.

What? What about the cops?

Andy.

They're coming.

Do you guys know Fisher?

Something looks different about him.

I did his chin.

Nice.

Hey, Kat, can I talk to you for a second?

Heard about what happened.
Doing okay, Coop?

Yeah, I'll be fine.

- They did a real number on you, huh?
- Sure did. Yeah.

Kat, quick second?

Sure. What's up?

Not here.

What is it?

I need a lawyer.

I'm a suspect in Paul's murder.

How's that?

It's complicated.

- I do this for a living, Coop.
- Yeah.

I was sleeping with Sam.

And I got into

a fairly public disagreement with Paul
a few days prior to his death.

Nick's party.
Dom mentioned something about that.

So you have to be my lawyer.

I'm innocent if it makes any difference.

- Coop, I can't take your case.
- Of course you can.

No, no, seriously. Sam and I are friends.

Well, aren't we friends?

- Of course, but--
- Well, then take the goddamn case.

I will help you, of course.

But it can't be me.
Okay, call my office tomorrow.

I'll connect you with Rob Barrow,
a colleague of mine.

No, it has to be you.

- Coop--
- It...

You're the best there is.

- You have to take this case.
- As a friend of Sam's,

it's a potential conflict of interest.

Okay, Kat...

I don't think I'm being clear.

When I say you have to take this case,
it's not me asking, I'm telling you.

You're going to take my case

because if you don't,

I will tell Dom that you are fucking
your daughter's boyfriend.

And I don't think that's gonna sit
very well with Alyssa either, will it?

What are you doing, Coop?

What I have to.

Also I won't be able
to pay your retainer up front,

but you can bill me for it
when this is all over.

Fuck you.

I'm gonna take that as a yes.

Hey. Let me get some of that scotch there.

Beautiful.

Cheers.

Andrew Cooper,

you're under arrest
for the murder of Paul Levitt.

Turn to your right.

It might seem ironic
after breaking into houses every week

for the past couple months

that I'd get pinched
for a crime I didn't commit.

But lately I'd had this sinking feeling.

It's how I imagine

those Lehman fuckers felt in 2008

or how Bankman-Fried felt 15 years later,

hiding out in the Bahamas
while he waited for someone

to notice the eight-billion-dollar hole
he had punched in the economy.

Kat Resnick.
I'll be representing Mr. Cooper.

What you have here is a glut
of circumstantial evidence.

To say nothing of the fact
that you served a warrant to a woman

who suffers from a mental illness
and was thus not competent to receive it.

She's not on the lease to the house.
She doesn't even pay rent.

We'll have this case thrown out
before the weekend.

We found this in Mr. Cooper's car.

- That's not mine.
- Don't say another word.

I knew tomorrow I'd be thinking
about the kids, about Mel,

and about the possibility of 25 to life.

But the worst thing that could've possibly
happened had finally happened.

And spending the night
in that cell was the first honest thing

I could remember doing in a while.

Or maybe I was just exhausted
from the effort of it all. I don't know.

Either way, that night was the first night
in a long time...

I managed to get some sleep.