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1
00:00:07,758 --> 00:00:09,718
Ah, I love that new T-shirt smell.
2
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:11,261
Chicks are gonna be all up in our biz
3
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,430
when they see us wearing these
Rick and Morty custom tees.
4
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,556
I bet we could sell these.
5
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,767
-Hells, yeah. I fucking love merch!
-[thunder crashes]
6
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,310
-The rain! lt-- it burns!
-Oh, shit.
7
00:00:18,393 --> 00:00:19,770
Quick, Morty, protect the shirts!
8
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,064
The door! Open the door! Rick!
9
00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:23,941
Is it-- Morty, will you stop trying to--
10
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,609
-[lock clicks]
-Okay, there, it's open.
11
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,319
-Jesus.
-My skin is on fire.
12
00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:28,820
Why is the rain doing that?
13
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:29,947
[evil laughter]
14
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:33,784
My acid rain will destroy
all things green and natural,
15
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:36,203
or my name isn't Diesel Weasel.
16
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:38,497
-[evil laughter]
-[screaming]
17
00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:40,666
Huh. Well, that guy's easy to please.
18
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,336
Your acid rain is an acid pain
19
00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:46,338
in the butt, Diesel Weasel!
20
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:48,840
Yikes. Who's the chick
in need of a dialogue pass?
21
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:52,135
First order of business
is to clean up this acid rain
22
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:53,762
with a little wind!
23
00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:54,846
[grunts]
24
00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:57,391
-Ow! Ow, my leg!
-Wow.
25
00:00:57,474 --> 00:01:00,435
And now, an elemental punch
that's too hot to handle!
26
00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:01,895
Wa-kah!
27
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:03,021
Oh, wow.
28
00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:06,567
Curse you, Planetina! I'll get you next slime!
29
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:07,609
[evil laughter]
30
00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:11,488
There's only one solution
for Earth's pollution: you!
31
00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:13,699
-Wow.
-Morty, if you say wow one more time,
32
00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:14,783
I swear to fucking God.
33
00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:17,661
-Are you crazy, Rick? She's right there!
-Yeah, get that aluminum, Morty.
34
00:01:17,744 --> 00:01:19,788
It's 8 percent of the Earth.
We'll need every atom.
35
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:24,585
-Thanks! Every litter-bit helps!
-[gasps] Your problem.
36
00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:26,128
-Excuse me?
-Sorry.
37
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,672
I wanted to say,
"No problem, you're welcome,"
38
00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:30,549
and it came out, "your problem."
39
00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:32,175
[chuckles] I'm an idiot. Sorry.
40
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:34,636
You're not an idiot. You recycled.
41
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,722
-I'm Morty.
-Nice to meet you, Morty.
42
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,765
I'm Planetina, and I hope
you have a wonderful day.
43
00:01:38,849 --> 00:01:40,559
-[horn honks]
-Hey! The fuck we doing here?
44
00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:44,313
Uh, you like soft serve?
There's a shop around the bend.
45
00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:48,483
Oh, I don't eat ice cream.
Veal is a product of the dairy industry.
46
00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:50,402
-Oh, that's not good.
-No, it is not.
47
00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:51,445
[horn honks]
48
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,739
Oh, my God! Come on! Let's go!
49
00:01:53,822 --> 00:01:55,741
I know a place that serves
cruelty-free doughnuts.
50
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,868
If you'd like, I could fly you
and your friend there,
51
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:00,704
-easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy.
-Okay, I'll ask him.
52
00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:03,290
He-- He said he can't come. Let's go!
53
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:07,586
What the fuck was that shit?
54
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,588
[theme music playing]
55
00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:41,119
[Planetina] The Earth is in danger!
56
00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:43,705
Pollution and waste are ruining our planet.
57
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,999
Mother Nature has enlisted
the help of four young adults
58
00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:48,293
from each major ethnicity,
and when things look bad,
59
00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:49,961
and I mean really bad,
60
00:02:50,045 --> 00:02:53,965
they combine the powers
of their elemental rings to create me!
61
00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:56,802
Planetina, conservationist super person!
62
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,387
There's only one solution
63
00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,180
for Earth's pollution -- you!
64
00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,181
Pretty cool, huh?
65
00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,725
I can't believe I actually hung out with Planetina.
66
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:06,478
How old is this woman? She looks very mature.
67
00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:10,107
She's a sentient amalgam of natural elements,
so I don't believe age applies to her.
68
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,859
Great. Taylor Murphy dumps me
the day before his hella big pool party
69
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:16,071
and my little brother's dating
a phase four super hero.
70
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:17,948
Just shoot me in the fucking head until I die.
71
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:21,201
Hey, hey, none of that, Summerfest.
Look what you're doing to your sister!
72
00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:22,703
Is it weird that she hasn't texted?
73
00:03:22,786 --> 00:03:23,995
-Yes.
-What if I told you
74
00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,789
Grandpa Rick's got something up his sleeve
75
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:28,333
that's so Rick-diculous
it's gonna make you forget all about
76
00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:29,835
that stupid asshole that dumped you?
77
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:31,962
Hey, my egg plate!
78
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,464
Morglutz, Slartivart and Ferkus 9.
79
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:37,509
Three planets are all ending in a delayed
succession of cataclysmic events.
80
00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,636
A jam like this comes around
only once in a lifetime.
81
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:43,265
Morglutz's sun is going supernova,
Slartivart is falling into a black hole,
82
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:45,767
and Ferkus 9 is getting "Deep impact"-ed
by an asteroid.
83
00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:47,686
They're all having a major, final blow out,
84
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:51,022
and I'm gonna drug it up and suck it up
before each one goes ka-blammo,
85
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,567
and I'm taking my favorite grandkid
along with me!
86
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:55,277
-Hells yeah.
-Ten seconds on Morglutz,
87
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,486
and you'll be up to your neck
88
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,697
in I-could-give-two-shits-
about-what's-his-ass.
89
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:00,198
-And also herpes.
-Um...
90
00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,576
Oh, thank you, Grandpa Rick!
I'm gonna go pack my rollie.
91
00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:05,787
Um, Summer? I haven't given you
my approval yet.
92
00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:08,081
-[door closes]
-Summer, approval is yet to be given here!
93
00:04:08,206 --> 00:04:10,834
-[phone chimes]
-There's a huge forest fire like 200 miles from here!
94
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,878
This is amazing! Planetina's bound to be there.
95
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,880
Mom, I need the credit card
to buy a train ticket.
96
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:15,839
Absolutely not.
97
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,049
Mom, this is the biggest wildfire of the year!
98
00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:20,051
-[both] You're not going!
-Da fuck I'm not.
99
00:04:20,135 --> 00:04:22,637
-Last time I checked, this wasn't Russia.
-It's not Russia, Jerry.
100
00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:24,765
My heart is broken, and I deserve to let loose,
101
00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:27,476
and if you don't like it,
you can suck my bigger tit.
102
00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,144
Adios, C-words.
103
00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:31,646
Morty, I don't want you getting hurt.
Please, think this over.
104
00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:34,399
I don't want to think!
I want to see a girl I like.
105
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:37,486
If you don't want to help me,
I'll find my own goddamn way to the wildfire.
106
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:44,367
-I'll get the wine.
-Thank you.
107
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:47,245
The Governor has implemented
a mandatory evacuation.
108
00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:49,623
Abandon all hope, people!
Nothing will stop this fire.
109
00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:50,791
-Nothing!
-[whooshing]
110
00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:53,460
Scratch that! Here's Planetina,
Savioress of Earth!
111
00:04:54,002 --> 00:04:56,171
Yee-ouch! Talk about a hot foot.
112
00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:59,382
Better put this wildfire on ice!
113
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:03,512
[Morty] Come here, little buddy.
Come on, come on, come on, I gotcha.
114
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:08,016
-Morty? What are you doing here?
-Oh, hey! You're here, too?
115
00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:11,812
Yeah, I heard about the wildfire back home,
and, you know, I stopped by to lend a hand.
116
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:13,438
Here you go, fella. All safe now.
117
00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:16,316
[chuckles] Ah, rabbits. Always hopping.
118
00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,652
-Never stopping.
-[chuckles nervously] Yeah.
119
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:21,571
So it was, uh, great hanging--
Hanging out the other day.
120
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:25,116
I was getting kind of a--
I mean, I got kind of a positive vibe.
121
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,994
Oh, good. I was putting one out.
I really like you.
122
00:05:28,078 --> 00:05:31,748
Holy shit. I mean, uh, well, oh, all right.
123
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:35,836
-Next step, you want to go out again?
-I do! But, uh, Morty,
124
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:37,337
I have kids.
125
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:39,673
Oh, I'll get along with them. I'm a kid.
126
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,758
No, I mean the four kids
that bring me into existence
127
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,635
by combining the power
of their elemental rings
128
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,470
so I can save Earth
from ecological disasters.
129
00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:48,682
Oh, them! No, I know about them. I like them.
130
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,475
Oh, good. Well, here they are now.
131
00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:54,062
Hey, buddy, you want an autograph?
That's 20 bucks a pop.
132
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,897
No, Eddie, he's my friend.
133
00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:58,358
Morty, these are my kids, The Tina-Teers.
134
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:00,360
-Oh, hey.
-Tina, girl, have you gained weight?
135
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,320
Uh, well, I had a plant-based
doughnut yesterday.
136
00:06:02,404 --> 00:06:05,949
-Just a half.
-Sugar is worst thing for figure, darling.
137
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,367
You want to be ugly?
138
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,244
Heh, I thought they'd be younger.
139
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,454
They've been manifesting me
since the mid-'90s.
140
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:13,498
A lot has changed since then.
141
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:15,125
This is freaking you out, huh?
142
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,960
It is a lot to take in.
143
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:19,129
I understand. Well...
144
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,881
I guess I'd better go.
145
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,257
See you around.
146
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:23,925
Hi-de-ho, TV 58!
147
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:26,595
Planetina, you single-handedly
saved a National Forest with ease.
148
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:29,764
-I do what I can, but I can't do it alone!
-And who's your friend over there?
149
00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:31,474
Oh! This is Morty Smith.
150
00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:34,436
He traveled 200 miles
just to save a rabbit from the fire.
151
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:35,770
He's a very special guy.
152
00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:38,899
-So, are you two dating?
-Oh, um, we-- I--
153
00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:41,234
Yes, we are.
154
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:42,694
['80s pop music plays]
155
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,529
-Fuck love.
-Fuck love.
156
00:06:44,613 --> 00:06:46,197
-Time to set the rules.
-Lay it on me.
157
00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:47,240
-No whining.
-Done.
158
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:48,366
-No crying.
-As if.
159
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,911
And absolutely,
positively no getting attached.
160
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:53,330
We're here to smash max ass,
quantity over quality.
161
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:54,247
-Deal?
-Deal!
162
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:56,833
I'm gonna eat so much ass,
you're gonna shit.
163
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,793
Check this out.
This is gonna be me at the party.
164
00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:00,003
[babbling]
165
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,756
"Oh, is that another ass?
Don't mind if I--"
166
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,174
-[slobbers]
-[Rick laughs]
167
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,343
This'll be me across the room.
"Excuse me, miss."
168
00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,428
"It appears that you have an uneaten ass.
Allow me--"
169
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:09,888
[slobbers]
170
00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:11,514
[both slobber]
171
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:19,314
-Whoo! Fucking supernova party!
-Love is a lie! Hack the planet!
172
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:22,692
The world's ending, and for some reason,
I want to die with you more than anyone else.
173
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,569
-[giggles] Wow!
-Yo, Rick, don't look now,
174
00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:26,696
but someone's giving you the big eye.
175
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:32,911
Excuse me. I got to see a man about
a horse I'd rather have sex with.
176
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:34,079
[grunts]
177
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,956
-Hello.
-I'm Rick. Hey.
178
00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:40,085
So, the world's ending, and for some reason,
I want to die with you more than anyone else.
179
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,170
-Hello.
-[Summer] Have fun, Grandpa Rick!
180
00:07:42,253 --> 00:07:43,880
No commitments!
181
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:48,802
♪ I flew to you on an airplane ♪
182
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:56,935
♪ I was afraid that you gave me strength ♪
183
00:07:57,894 --> 00:08:02,232
♪ Forever, birds were soul twin loves ♪
184
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:09,072
♪ Baby, come back to me
Baby, come back like it was ♪
185
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,533
-Surprise!
-What are you doing here?
186
00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:12,450
Mmm!
187
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:15,161
I told my kids I went out to recycle batteries.
188
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:21,084
All kidding aside, everyone should discard
used batteries at proper disposal centers
189
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:23,712
instead of tossing them into a regular waste bin.
190
00:08:23,795 --> 00:08:24,921
[Morty] Thanks for the tip.
191
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:28,049
♪ Flowers never last forever ♪
192
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:31,136
♪ But we can make it past forever ♪
193
00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:35,765
♪ Baby, come home to me
Baby, you're home with me ♪
194
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:39,477
[cheering]
195
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,772
Solus is collapsing in five zip-zops.
196
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,984
If we time it right, we can skeet together
as the sun explodes.
197
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:49,195
Sounds amazing.
Say, I think I left my purse back at the bar.
198
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:51,156
Can both of you go get it for me?
199
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:53,366
Anything for you, Mrs. Obama.
200
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:56,202
-Time to ghost, Grandpa Rick.
-[Rick] Righty-right. Meet me at the car.
201
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,497
One of these has to be hers. Where'd she go?
202
00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:01,958
-I guess we'll have to start without her.
-Oh, her loss.
203
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,293
[slobbering]
204
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,672
Whoo! Planet number two, let's do it!
205
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,841
Sorry I took so long.
I had to ditch some clingers.
206
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,926
[slurring] Let's do it. Up the butt, y'all.
207
00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:14,220
-Geez, you okay to drive?
-Shit!
208
00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:16,306
'Course I'm mable.
209
00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:18,433
Bu-- [burps] --ckle up.
210
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,354
[Summer] Yeah!
211
00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:26,900
Whoo! The best week of my life!
212
00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:27,942
[voice] Hello.
213
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:29,277
-What was that?
-Nothing.
214
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:33,156
Who wants to see the most radadelic
lady-version of a super hero?
215
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,324
[cheering]
216
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:35,617
-Fire!
-Water!
217
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,952
-Air!
-And dirt!
218
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:41,664
[crowd gasps]
219
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,459
Oh, no, the convention. Morty, wake up!
We overslept.
220
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,711
-What's happening?
-Hey, there's a little boy on her!
221
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,171
Oh, drop the curtain!
222
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,423
-There is no curtain!
-Idiot, zap her away!
223
00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:52,175
-No, no, no. Wait, I--
-Whoa!
224
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,511
-Security!
-What did you do? Bring her back!
225
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,054
-No! Let me go!
-Sorry, folks.
226
00:09:56,137 --> 00:09:57,597
Planetina will be back in a moment.
227
00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:02,769
Until then, who wants
a limited edition Funko for only $50?
228
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:04,562
-[crowd cheers]
-This is very bad.
229
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:07,607
We are about to close deal.
We cannot afford controversy.
230
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:11,111
Don't you worry. I know how
to deal with this Morty kid.
231
00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:15,490
[cheering]
232
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:20,245
Hey, a bunch of us are going over
to Hibler's place to shoot ourselves.
233
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:21,913
You want to come with?
234
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:24,999
Sorry, but no man's tying down
Sum-Sum tonight. Hit the dicks.
235
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:29,087
Your loss, honey. You could have had all this.
236
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:30,171
[sobs]
237
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:33,091
Hey, check it out! There's old people dancing!
238
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:34,801
[dance music plays]
239
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,810
Damn, girl. Your moves is tight.
240
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,061
-Hello.
-[Summer] Rick!
241
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,730
What the WTF is that
Morglutzian doing here?
242
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,607
Morglutzian? She's--
She's not Morglutzian.
243
00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:52,193
She's the only blue person here
without three eyes!
244
00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:54,863
Okay, fine. Busted. This is, uh, Daphne.
245
00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:58,199
-Daphne, this is Summer, my granddaughter.
-Granddaughter? Hello.
246
00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:01,286
Daphne heard about our little party crawl,
and I told her she could come with.
247
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:02,412
In the trunk.
248
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:05,331
What in the actual fuck, Rick?
We said no commitments!
249
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:08,251
This was to be our Apocalypse party crawl!
250
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:09,502
You broke the rules!
251
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,671
Squares follow rules, Summer.
Daphne's down to freak.
252
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:14,340
She's up for any-- [burps]
sick, nasty thing I want to do.
253
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:15,758
-Hello.
-Oh, yeah, baby.
254
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:18,178
[both moan]
255
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,432
All right, fellas, take five.
He ain't gonna give me any trouble.
256
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,435
-[Morty] Where's Planetina?
-Don't you worry.
257
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,938
-I want to see her!
-Planetina's got a lot of responsibilities.
258
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,565
People depend on her.
259
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:34,152
And you, my friend, are a distraction
we can't afford right now.
260
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:37,238
She's just a product to you, isn't she?
Something to make money off of.
261
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:38,823
Well, Planetina's more than that.
262
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:40,867
She's a brilliant, living thing, and I love her.
263
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,952
Oh, you love her? Well, guess what?
264
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:46,623
We own her. But not for long, of course.
265
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:49,042
We're gonna sell her
to some Arab overseas.
266
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:50,460
Fire.
267
00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,837
As for you,
maybe she won't love you so much
268
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:55,590
-if you ain't so pretty no more.
-[whimpers] Stop!
269
00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:56,966
-[Morty grunts]
-Ow!
270
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,885
-You want to fuck with me? Do you?
-Ow!
271
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:00,345
Stupid fucking shit hole!
272
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,263
-[screams]
-[grunts]
273
00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:04,390
[Guard] Boss, what's happening?
Let us in!
274
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:06,059
-[grunts]
-[screams]
275
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,393
[spits] Fire!
276
00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:09,395
[screams]
277
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,481
Fire!
278
00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:15,526
Can we conclude our business?
279
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:19,030
I'm eager to celebrate my purchase
of Planetina over dinner,
280
00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:21,616
and these infant seals
aren't getting any younger.
281
00:12:21,699 --> 00:12:25,578
Momentarily, comrade.
Soon, our partner will return.
282
00:12:25,662 --> 00:12:27,747
[grunts] What is taking Eddie so long?
283
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,457
His phone keep going to voicemail.
284
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,542
[Eddie] ♪ Start leaving a message ♪
285
00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:33,586
♪ I can't make it to the phone ♪
286
00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:35,380
Just kidding. It's Eddie. Go fuck yourself.
287
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:36,547
[beeps]
288
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,007
Which one of you ordered a pizza?
289
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,051
No-one order pizza. What is this?
290
00:12:40,134 --> 00:12:43,888
Well, I got a cheesy Italian,
extra crispy just for you.
291
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,809
I know those cheekbones
like they're me own! It's Eddie!
292
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,143
Fucking mother! Kill him!
293
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:50,895
-Stone! Stone!
-[Morty] Fire!
294
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,398
[gunfire]
295
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:55,024
[yells]
296
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,820
-Air!
-[air whooshing]
297
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,489
Cold water! Cold water!
298
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,199
-Dirt!
-[ice shatters]
299
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,575
Fire!
300
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:07,328
-Wha--
-[screaming]
301
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:08,746
Air.
302
00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:11,749
Now we can be together, Planetina.
303
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:15,169
I am an individual character,
I represent no group.
304
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,839
-Fire! Water! Dirt! Air!
-[screaming]
305
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,173
[screams]
306
00:13:20,091 --> 00:13:23,386
-Ah! Not good!
-[seals growl]
307
00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:26,264
[seals bark]
308
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:29,642
[crowd] Blib! Naga! Threve!
309
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:32,020
Verillex! Gam!
310
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:33,855
Happy Apocalypse!
311
00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:35,773
-Oh, my God!
-This is awful!
312
00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:36,941
Why were we cheering?
313
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:38,735
[rumbling]
314
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:44,240
Hello. Got any agua around here?
315
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,533
Mama's got to hydrate.
316
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:46,868
Glove box.
317
00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:48,911
Oh, yeah.
318
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:52,248
Rick is the coolest guy ever.
319
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,666
We're total soul mates.
320
00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:56,294
He's gonna show me
the wonders of the universe.
321
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,129
Ha! Once we get to the next planet,
322
00:13:58,212 --> 00:14:00,590
Grandpa Rick is gonna ditch you, like, so fast.
323
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,008
Oh, is that so?
324
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:04,677
Uh-huh. Nobody is tying that guy down, ever.
325
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:07,096
The only chick seeing the universe
with Rick is me.
326
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:10,266
Not if I keep Rick's mouth full of these.
327
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:12,769
Oh, my-- Oh, my God.
328
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:15,104
Oh, yeah. That's right, girlfriend.
329
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,065
This is what you're up against.
330
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:19,067
Wars were fought over these.
331
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:22,445
They've ruined kings, inspired presidents.
332
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,239
A hundred songs and nine national anthems
333
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:27,283
have been written about them.
334
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:30,453
Best set of elbow-titties on Morglutz.
335
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:34,874
And now, thanks to Rick, the best in the galaxy.
336
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:36,876
-You want me to put them away?
-Please.
337
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:40,171
Sure. But only because
you're Rick's granddaughter.
338
00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:43,758
Daph? Daphne? Where are you, baby?
Papa needs some more elbow grease.
339
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,511
Coming! You might want to keep
your eyes on the road.
340
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:48,888
It's about to get sloppy.
341
00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:50,890
-[Rick] Hello!
-[Daphne] Hello.
342
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:53,184
-[groans]
-[loud moaning, creaking]
343
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:56,229
Then I put my sunglasses on
and walked out like nothing happened.
344
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:59,023
I'm finally free. All because of Morty.
345
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:00,817
What a romantic story
346
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,111
about our son killing a room full of people.
347
00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:04,654
Your turn.
348
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:08,324
Uh, seven. One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven!
349
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:10,618
Oy, don't punch my lunch!
350
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:13,037
-A-ha! Eat it!
-I'm out of food cards.
351
00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:16,999
-How about I loan you two quiche at 10 percent?
-That's so generous.
352
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,626
[Jerry] My turn!
353
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:22,505
-Double sixes, baby! One, two, three.
-So, what's next for Planetina?
354
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:26,134
Well, now that I'm not distracted
by book signings and publicity stunts,
355
00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:28,719
Morty and I can concentrate
on more important things.
356
00:15:28,803 --> 00:15:30,763
-Like school.
-Like moving in.
357
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:33,975
Planetina doesn't have a place to stay now,
so I said she could live with us.
358
00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:36,060
-Holy shit. Morty, no.
-I'm so full!
359
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:38,354
-What do you mean, no?
-[whoops] Ha-ha!
360
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:39,814
I wouldn't be a burden, Mrs. Smith.
361
00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:43,025
I only want to spend as much time
as possible with your son.
362
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:44,986
My son is 14, miss.
363
00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:47,029
I'm sorry, Morty. You're way too young.
364
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,449
But you were a teenager
when Dad got you pregnant.
365
00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:52,743
I was 17! That's at least 26 in boy years.
366
00:15:52,827 --> 00:15:54,620
I'm sure Planetina is very nice,
367
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,956
but when you're a teenager,
love is fleeting, at best.
368
00:15:57,039 --> 00:16:00,209
You underestimate Morty.
He is a very mature young man.
369
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,003
See, Mom? I told you!
370
00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:04,172
This is not happening. End of discussion.
371
00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:06,466
Planetina, I think you should leave, please.
372
00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:07,967
Okay, Mrs. Smith.
373
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,428
-Oh, no! [burps]
-Mom, I hate you!
374
00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,013
-You suck!
-Hey, now, it's only a game.
375
00:16:12,096 --> 00:16:13,014
-[both] Shut up!
-Okay.
376
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:14,724
My whole life, I've never fit in anywhere.
377
00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:17,143
Everything I have to say
is always met with an eye roll,
378
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:20,021
as if the act of hearing what I have
to say is some exhausting chore.
379
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:22,732
Nobody in this family thinks
I can say or do anything right!
380
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,984
I've been all over the universe,
met hundreds of people,
381
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:28,571
and Planetina's the only one I've ever met
that makes me feel like I belong,
382
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,281
and you just kicked her out of our house!
383
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:33,075
-Morty, please--
-I will never forgive you for this!
384
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:37,038
♪ Get the sword and throw it far ♪
385
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:40,666
♪ Let it shine under the morning star♪
386
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,502
Morty! Morty, come back!
387
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:50,259
♪ Who are you? Who am I to you? ♪
388
00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:55,139
♪ I am the antichrist to you ♪
389
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:03,064
♪ Fallen from the sky with grace ♪
390
00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:09,195
♪ Into your arms race ♪
391
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,117
[inaudible dialogue]
392
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:20,540
Get out! All of you, get out of there!
393
00:17:20,623 --> 00:17:21,832
You're killing the planet!
394
00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:25,419
Your people didn't get the votes.
Leave, or I'll have you arrested.
395
00:17:25,503 --> 00:17:27,129
It's you people who should be arrested.
396
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:30,132
Gutting the land, poisoning
the air your children breathe?
397
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,218
Can't you see what you're doing?
398
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,095
Easy for you to say!
You can live how you want!
399
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:37,974
We need the jobs. Let's go, boys.
She can't stop us.
400
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,560
-We'll get them next time.
-There's no time left!
401
00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:42,812
Can't you hear the Earth screaming?
402
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,314
-You filthy murderers!
-Planetina, stop it!
403
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:49,318
There's only one solution for Earth's pollution!
404
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:52,154
-[screaming]
-Oh, my God, no.
405
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,532
♪ Who am I to you? ♪
406
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:55,741
[screaming]
407
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:59,412
♪ I am the antichrist to you ♪
408
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:00,830
No!
409
00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:08,087
I can't believe I'm banging my co-workers.
And I'm the boss!
410
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:12,049
This gay sex with my dad is terrific!
What was I thinking?
411
00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,634
It'll all be over soon!
412
00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:15,886
Last chance to pee on me! Anyone?
413
00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:18,389
Okay, Grandpa, the meteor's almost here.
We can go now.
414
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:20,016
Ah, nah, we still got time.
415
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,685
Well, then, stop being in love
and start having fun.
416
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:25,146
Oh, love's pretty fun, Summer.
Just give it a chance.
417
00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:28,774
It's not even real love!
Daphne's just with you so she can keep surviving!
418
00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:31,110
Ah, the young. So naive.
419
00:18:33,487 --> 00:18:34,864
[squishing, moaning]
420
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,407
[groans]
421
00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:39,035
Ew, gross.
422
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:42,288
[engine starts]
423
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:44,081
[squeaking]
424
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:45,541
[muffled scream]
425
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:55,885
Congratulations, Ferkisians!
Your apocalypse is aborted.
426
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,511
And Grandpa, you and I can go home.
427
00:18:57,595 --> 00:19:00,973
Daphne, you may come with.
If you want to and don't have to.
428
00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:04,727
I don't know what you're getting at, Summer.
Obviously, Daphne wants to--
429
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:08,272
Oh, you cold bitch. Hello?
430
00:19:08,356 --> 00:19:09,607
Goodbye.
431
00:19:10,441 --> 00:19:12,693
Hey, she's the one that saved the world!
432
00:19:12,777 --> 00:19:14,528
Now we got to go to work tomorrow!
433
00:19:14,612 --> 00:19:16,072
[all booing]
434
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,531
You fucker!
435
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,870
-Sorry I messed things up with Daphne.
-Just shut up. I get it.
436
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:24,997
-Really? You're not mad?
-I'm furious.
437
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:29,377
But I have to admit, it was pretty Rick of you
438
00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:34,090
to avert an apocalypse in a tantrum of cynicism
just to destroy one dumb relationship.
439
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,050
Still, sorry.
440
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,302
Eh, I would've done the same for you.
441
00:19:38,886 --> 00:19:40,012
Promise?
442
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,682
-Love you, Grandpa Rick.
-Don't make it weird.
443
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:47,561
[phone chimes]
444
00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:55,820
[phone chimes]
445
00:19:57,571 --> 00:20:00,241
Please go. I can't see you anymore.
446
00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:02,284
Don't you even want to try to make it work?
447
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:05,204
-We were so close.
-You murdered 300 people.
448
00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:08,916
-And you murdered my kids.
-They were gonna sell you away forever.
449
00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:11,961
Eddie was trying to kill me!
Those miners were innocent.
450
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:16,132
Those innocent miners voted men into power
to protect their precious jobs
451
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:19,343
so they can buy more plastic garbage
and eat the corpses of tortured animals.
452
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:21,262
The system is broken, Morty.
453
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:24,515
This is the only way I can save Earth.
454
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,392
The only way I can save you.
455
00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:29,520
If that's the only way, I don't want to be saved.
456
00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:33,023
-Please go.
-But I love you.
457
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,987
I can't-- I can't love you. I just can't.
458
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,406
-Please understand.
-No. [sniffles]
459
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:41,949
I'll go. [sniffles]
460
00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:44,869
But don't you dare ask me to understand.
461
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:47,246
Planetina, I'm so sorry.
462
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:49,874
Fuck you.
463
00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:03,637
Morty? Are you all right?
464
00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:05,306
She's gone, Mom! She's gone!
465
00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:07,600
[sobs] I loved her so much!
466
00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:09,477
I know you did, honey.
467
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,896
-[sobs]
-Shh, Mommy's here.
468
00:21:11,979 --> 00:21:16,859
♪ Let it shine under the morning star♪
469
00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:21,113
♪ Who are you? ♪
470
00:21:21,197 --> 00:21:23,741
♪ Who am I to you? ♪
471
00:21:25,451 --> 00:21:29,622
♪ I am the antichrist to you ♪
472
00:21:31,957 --> 00:21:36,712
♪ Fallen from the sky with grace ♪
473
00:21:38,756 --> 00:21:42,134
♪ Into your arms ♪
474
00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:53,896
[bell jingles]
475
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,859
[clears throat] Good morning.
476
00:21:58,943 --> 00:22:00,069
Morning.
477
00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:04,365
-Slow day, huh?
-Yep.
478
00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:06,617
Probably because everybody thought
479
00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:11,288
the world wouldn't be,
you know, like, here today.
480
00:22:11,372 --> 00:22:13,082
-Mm-hm.
-Mom in back?
481
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,458
Mom's not talking to us.
482
00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:16,335
Because we had sex?
483
00:22:16,418 --> 00:22:19,505
-Yes.
-Uh, yeah. That makes sense.
484
00:22:20,297 --> 00:22:22,174
Happy birthday, by the way.
485
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:24,677
[sighs]
36197
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