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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,306 --> 00:00:07,175 HEY, LILY, WHAT'S WITH THE SNAZZY JACKET? 2 00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,709 I JOINED A CLUB AT SCHOOL. 3 00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:11,179 YOU? YOU'VE NEVER BEEN A CLUB JOINER. 4 00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:13,547 WELL, NOW I'M IN THE SCIENCENAUTS. 5 00:00:13,581 --> 00:00:14,715 THE SCIENCE NUTS? 6 00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:16,817 SO YOU'RE NUTS ABOUT SCIENCE, HUH? 7 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,752 IT'S NOT NUTS, IT'S NAUTS. 8 00:00:18,786 --> 00:00:21,455 YEAH, I JUST FIGURED IT WAS LIKE ASTRONUTS. 9 00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:23,124 THAT'S ASTRONAUTS. 10 00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:25,059 YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I SAID. 11 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,498 SO YOU'RE EXPECTING COMPANY, HUH? 12 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:31,532 YES, I AM. 13 00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,601 YOU ARE LOOKING AT THE NEW PRESIDENT 14 00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:35,236 OF THE ST. FINNIAN'S PARENTS COMMITTEE. 15 00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:37,605 HA HA. WHAT'S THE GAG? 16 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,574 I CANNOT TELL A LIE. 17 00:00:40,608 --> 00:00:45,346 I CHOPPED DOWN THAT CHERRY TREE, FATHER. 18 00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:47,248 WHAT'S UP WITH HIM? 19 00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:49,717 HENRY GOT THE LEAD IN THE SCHOOL PLAY. 20 00:00:49,750 --> 00:00:51,419 WHOA. HOLD ON, NOW. 21 00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:53,221 CLAUDIA'S DOIN' A MARTHA STEWART ACT, 22 00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,823 THAT LITTLE HAMBONE HAS GOT THE LEAD IN THE PLAY, 23 00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:58,159 AND LILY'S IN THE SCIENCE NUTS? 24 00:00:58,192 --> 00:00:59,593 DAD, THIS IS THE NEW US, 25 00:00:59,627 --> 00:01:02,496 THANKS TO ME, ME AND MY GREATNESS. 26 00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:03,764 WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? 27 00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:06,200 ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW THAT NEW SIGN THEY PUT UP NEXT TO THE SCHOOL 28 00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:07,568 WITH ALL THE STUPID SAYINGS? 29 00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:09,137 UH-HUH. 30 00:01:17,845 --> 00:01:20,448 Girl: GOD, THAT'S LAME. 31 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:25,786 UH, YEAH, IT'S-- IT'S REALLY LAME. 32 00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:28,156 IT'S INCREDIBLY LAME. 33 00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:30,291 YEAH. 34 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,126 SEE YA. 35 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:53,414 HENRY! 36 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,583 I THOUGHT YOU WERE HOLDING THE LADDER. 37 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,251 I CANNOT TELL A LIE. 38 00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:59,220 I WAS NOT. 39 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:05,326 [LAUGHTER] 40 00:02:07,395 --> 00:02:08,362 UNBELIEVABLE! 41 00:02:08,396 --> 00:02:10,264 IT'S A PERFECT ANAGRAM. 42 00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:11,432 NOT QUITE. 43 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:14,168 THIS WAS LEFT OVER. 44 00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:18,772 COOL. 45 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,241 OUR BOY'S GROWING UP. 46 00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:22,610 YEAH. HE VANDALIZED SCHOOL PROPERTY. 47 00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:23,944 DAD, HE REARRANGED SCHOOL PROPERTY. 48 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:28,182 THEN SISTER HELEN GOT IN THIS BIG SNIT ABOUT IT. 49 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:30,818 IT'S NOT FUNNY. 50 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:32,320 COME ON. IT'S VERY FUNNY. 51 00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:34,722 WELL, OBVIOUSLY HUMOR IS SUBJECTIVE. 52 00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:35,823 NO, IT'S NOT. 53 00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,258 I MEAN, THERE'S SOME STUFF THAT'S FUNNY TO EVERYBODY, 54 00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:38,158 LIKE, UH... CADDYSHACK. 55 00:02:38,192 --> 00:02:40,461 CADDYSHACK WAS NOT FUNNY. WHAT?! 56 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:44,598 ALL RIGHT, I'LL GRANT YOU BILL MURRAY WITH THE GOPHER WAS GREAT 57 00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:45,933 AND I KINDA LIKED TED KNIGHT, BUT THAT-- 58 00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:48,869 WELL, WHAT ABOUT CADDY DAY AT THE POOL AND THE BABY-- 59 00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:49,770 ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH. 60 00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:51,772 MR. FINNERTY, YOUR SON WILL BE IN DETENTION 61 00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,241 FOR THE NEXT 30 DAYS. 62 00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:54,308 WAIT A MINUTE! 63 00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:55,976 YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW JIMMY'S THE ONE WHO DID THAT. 64 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,211 OH, I KNOW. 65 00:02:57,245 --> 00:02:59,580 I CANNOT TELL A LIE. 66 00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:01,014 JIMMY DID IT. 67 00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:03,317 SISTER HELEN, HAVE YOU HEARD OF A LITTLE THING CALLED FREEDOM OF SPEECH? 68 00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:06,820 MR. FINNERTY, I HARDLY THINK JIMMY'S RIGHT TO DEFACE MY SIGN 69 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,656 WITH A CRACK ABOUT CROSS-DRESSERS 70 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,659 IS WHAT THE FRAMERS OF THE CONSTITUTION HAD IN MIND. 71 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:12,526 OH, I SEE. 72 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,595 SO FIRST IT'S JIMMY'S LITTLE SIGN JOKE, 73 00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:15,996 AND THEN, NEXT THING YOU KNOW, 74 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,631 LILY CAN'T WRITE A REPORT ON DARWIN. 75 00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:18,766 AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN 76 00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:20,901 YOU'RE BURNING COPIES OF CATCHER IN THE RYE! 77 00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:21,835 AND THEN HENRY'S NOT EVEN AUDITIONING 78 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,804 FOR THE PART OF GEORGE WASHINGTON ANYMORE. 79 00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:26,374 NO, NO, NO, NO. HE'S AUDITIONING TO PLAY JOSEPH STALIN! 80 00:03:26,407 --> 00:03:28,509 I THINK YOU'RE BEING RATHER ALARMIST. 81 00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:29,843 OH, AYE, AYE, SISTER STALIN! 82 00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,345 YOUR SON VANDALIZED PRIVATE PROPERTY! 83 00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:34,748 WHAT? I'M SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU, SISTER STALIN. 84 00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:35,516 STOP CALLING ME THAT. 85 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:36,917 OH, YES, SIR, SISTER STALIN, SIR! 86 00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:38,919 STOP IT. I SAID STOP IT! 87 00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:39,887 SISTER STALIN! 88 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,289 MR. FINNERTY... 89 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:43,291 [BLEEP] YOU! 90 00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:03,811 HELLO, CLAUDIA. 91 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:07,781 CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING NAMED THE NEW COMMITTEE PRESIDENT. 92 00:04:07,815 --> 00:04:08,916 THANK YOU, CONNIE. 93 00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:10,784 IF YOU'D LIKE, I COULD HELP YOU RUN THE MEETING TONIGHT, 94 00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:14,588 CONSIDERING THAT I WAS THE PRESIDENT UNTIL YESTERDAY. 95 00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:15,989 OH, THAT'S SWEET, BUT NO. 96 00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:18,326 BUT YOU HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN TO A SINGLE MEETING. 97 00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:22,730 THEN WON'T I GIVE A NICE, FRESH PERSPECTIVE TO TONIGHT'S MEETING? 98 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:23,497 HAVE A SEAT. 99 00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:24,765 BUT I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT ME-- 100 00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,700 UH-HUH. SIT YOUR BUTT DOWN. 101 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:28,969 DAD, I'M TELLIN' YOU-- 102 00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:31,705 SISTER HELEN WOULD NEVER CURSE. 103 00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:32,473 YOU MISHEARD. 104 00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:34,975 SHE MUST HAVE SAID, "FORGET YOU." 105 00:04:35,008 --> 00:04:35,976 OH, COME ON, DAD. 106 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,578 NOBODY SAYS, "FORGET YOU." 107 00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:38,612 I DO IT ALL THE TIME. 108 00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:40,681 YEAH, WHEN YOU'RE WATCHING SCARFACE ON TV. 109 00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,883 COME ON, COME ON. I KNOW WHAT I HEARD, 110 00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,719 AND I WAS AS SHOCKED AS YOU ARE. 111 00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:46,954 EXCUSE ME? 112 00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,656 GOOD DAY, MR. FINNERTY. 113 00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:50,391 W-W-W-WHAT DID YOU-- WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? 114 00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:51,359 I SAID GOOD DAY. 115 00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:53,761 NO! NO, NO. SHE--SHE--YOU HEARD THAT, RIGHT? 116 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,664 YOU HEARD THAT NUN-- THAT NUN--SHE JUST-- 117 00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:57,331 YOU HEARD HER. 118 00:04:57,365 --> 00:04:58,632 SHE--SHE JUST CUSSED ME OUT! 119 00:04:58,666 --> 00:04:59,299 THE NUN JUST CUSSED-- 120 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:01,602 THAT NUN JUST CUSSED ME OUT! 121 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:04,438 SHE-- YOU HEARD HER, GOD! 122 00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:05,739 I BELIEVE YOU, SEAN. 123 00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:06,740 THANKS, EDDIE. 124 00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:09,510 HE ALSO BELIEVES THE AZTECS INVENTED TELEVISION. 125 00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,545 FIRST OF ALL, I PREFACED BY SAYING 126 00:05:11,579 --> 00:05:13,714 IT WAS EXTREMELY PRIMITIVE TELEVISION. 127 00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:15,816 YOU NEVER LISTEN TO THE PREFACES. 128 00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:18,719 YOU SHOULD JUST LEAVE THAT POOR NUN ALONE. 129 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:20,721 YOU BEEN TORTURING HER FOR YEARS. 130 00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:22,656 WAIT. I'VE BEEN TORTURING HER? UH-UH! 131 00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:24,992 NO. SINCE DAY ONE, SHE HAD IT OUT FOR MY FAMILY. 132 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:26,827 WELL, THAT'S YOUR OPINION, MR. FINNERTY. 133 00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:29,830 AS USUAL, IT JUST HAPPENS TO BE WRONG. 134 00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:33,434 WELL, I'M SURE I WOULD SEE IT YOUR WAY, MR. FINNERTY, 135 00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:34,602 IF I WERE INSANE. 136 00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:37,905 WE THOUGHT IT BEST TO CURTAIL JIMMY'S ALTAR BOY ACTIVITIES 137 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:38,772 FOR THE MOMENT. 138 00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:40,941 COME ON. HE THOUGHT IT WAS GRAPE JUICE. 139 00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:41,942 NO, I DIDN'T. 140 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:44,745 HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S SAYING. HE'S DRUNK. 141 00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:45,646 CUT HIM SOME SLACK. 142 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:49,450 I'M A NUN, MR. FINNERTY. I DON'T DO SLACK. 143 00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:50,283 SLACK? 144 00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:53,754 ALL RIGHT. LET'S GET YOU SOME COFFEE. 145 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:56,123 WELL, MAYBE SHE WOULDN'T BE ONTO YOUR CASE 146 00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:57,958 ALL THE TIME IF YOU KEPT YOUR KIDS IN LINE. 147 00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,927 I'M NOT SAYING WE'RE PERFECT, ALL RIGHT? 148 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,995 WE MAKE MISTAKES, BUT SHE'S GOT THIS ATTITUDE. 149 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,797 SHE'S ALWAYS ACTING HOLIER THAN THOU. 150 00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:06,900 SHE'S A NUN! SHE HOLIER THAN THOU. 151 00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:08,902 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NOT ANYMORE. 152 00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:11,972 NOT AFTER SHE SAID THE MAGIC WORD. 153 00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:13,140 IT WAS INCREDIBLE! 154 00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:14,775 I WISH YOU'D HAVE HEARD IT, BABY. 155 00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,710 I MEAN, THERE'S GOTTA BE A LIST OF WORDS 156 00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:17,911 THAT NUNS CAN'T SAY, RIGHT? 157 00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:18,879 I GUESS. 158 00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,113 AND THAT WORD HAS TO BE IN THE TOP 5, RIGHT? 159 00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:20,848 I WOULD IMAGINE. 160 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,550 COME ON, BABY, THIS IS IMPORTANT. 161 00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:24,685 YOU DON'T EVEN SEEM TO CARE. 162 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:25,352 OH, MY GOD! 163 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,286 WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HANDS? 164 00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:29,523 I GOT STUCK DOING THE SETS FOR HENRY'S PLAY. 165 00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:33,827 I HAD TO DYE 15 BEDSHEETS BLUE TO MAKE THE DELAWARE RIVER. 166 00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:35,028 IT'S NOT FAIR. 167 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:38,799 I ALWAYS GET STUCK WITH THE CRAPPY JOBS. ALWAYS. 168 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:41,702 CLAUDIA! 169 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,036 THE RECTORY LOT IS FULL! 170 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,873 SEND ALL THESE CARS OVER TO THE JACK IN THE BOX. 171 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:50,878 CONNIE, I DON'T THINK IT'S FAIR THAT I GET PARKING DUTY ALWAYS! 172 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:53,981 WELL, IF YOU'D SHOW UP FOR THE PARENT MEETINGS... 173 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:54,948 UGH! COME ON! 174 00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:57,785 THE MEETINGS ARE ALL AT 3:00 IN THE AFTERNOON! 175 00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:58,886 I WORK! 176 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,053 I'M SORRY. 177 00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:03,924 OH, OSTRICH LEFT A LITTLE BUSINESS OVER BY THE BIKE RACK. 178 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:06,760 I HAVE A JOB. 179 00:07:06,794 --> 00:07:09,863 I SHOULDN'T GET PENALIZED JUST 'CAUSE I CAN'T MAKE IT TO THEIR STUPID MEETINGS. 180 00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:12,065 I JUST WISH SOMEONE HAD HEARD HER! 181 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,167 OH, WOULD YOU GET OFF THAT? 182 00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:15,335 I CAN'T. I'M JUST SAYING, YOU KNOW, 183 00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:17,838 THAT IF SHE KNEW THAT I HAD PROOF THAT SOMEONE HEARD HER, 184 00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:19,773 THEN I'D HAVE HER OVER A BARREL. 185 00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:20,874 I COULD CHANGE THINGS. 186 00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:22,943 YOU KNOW, THINGS COULD GO GOOD FOR OUR FAMILY FOR ONCE. 187 00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:24,144 I'LL BET YOU COULD. 188 00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:25,212 I DEFINITELY COULD. 189 00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:26,880 MMM, THAT WOULD BE NICE. 190 00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:27,581 YEAH! 191 00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:29,483 OH, NO, BABY, I CAN'T. I CAN'T. 192 00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:32,986 I CAN'T GET IT ON WITH A SMURF. 193 00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:37,891 I'D DO A TELETUBBY IN A HEARTBEAT, THOUGH. 194 00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:39,593 I ONCE HAD AN INTIMATE ENCOUNTER 195 00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:42,596 WITH A WOMAN WHO WAS COMPLETELY GREEN. 196 00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:43,764 WHY WAS SHE GREEN? 197 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:44,798 I DON'T KNOW. 198 00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:45,899 YOU DIDN'T ASK? 199 00:07:45,933 --> 00:07:47,901 I DIDN'T WANT TO BE RUDE. 200 00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:49,870 [BANGS GAVEL] NOW, I PROPOSE 201 00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:52,873 THAT ALL THE ASSIGNMENTS FOR OUR PARENT DUTIES 202 00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,174 BE DISTRIBUTED IN A RANDOM DRAWING. 203 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:59,012 THAT WAY OLD CONNIE HERE WILL HAVE JUST AS MUCH A CHANCE AS I WILL 204 00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:00,013 OF SHOVELING POOP. 205 00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:03,884 WELL, CLAUDIA, WE'VE ALWAYS USED SIGN-UP SHEETS. 206 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:05,953 WHICH YOU HANDED OUT AT THE MEETINGS, 207 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:09,723 WHICH THE WORKING PARENTS WERE NOT ABLE TO ATTEND. 208 00:08:09,757 --> 00:08:10,958 RIGHT? ALL IN FAVOR, 209 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:11,592 YEAH? 210 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:14,127 AYE, AYE. GREAT. NEXT ITEM. 211 00:08:14,562 --> 00:08:15,495 GREAT TO HAVE SOME MORE 212 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,865 WORKING PARENTS HERE TONIGHT, ISN'T IT, CONNIE? 213 00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:18,932 TERRIFIC. 214 00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:21,168 UH-HUH. I SEE THAT ON THE 16th THERE'S A FIELD TRIP 215 00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:23,070 TO THE BOTANICAL GARDEN, WHICH ALL KIDS HATE, 216 00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:25,739 SO COME ON, LET'S SEND THEM TO THE AQUARIUM, RIGHT? 217 00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:27,875 CLAUDIA, WE WENT TO THE AQUARIUM BEFORE 218 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,810 AND SOME OF THE ANIMAL BEHAVIOR THERE 219 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,979 IS INAPPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN. 220 00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:34,915 WHAT? 221 00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:35,649 THE MANTA RAYS WERE... 222 00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:37,751 GRINDING AT EACH OTHER. 223 00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:40,053 KIDS ARE NOT GETTING IDEAS FROM MANTA RAYS, ALL RIGHT? 224 00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:41,789 OVERRULED. 225 00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:44,658 BESIDES, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER THEY WERE DOING, 226 00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:45,993 THEY WERE NOT HAVING SEX. 227 00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,027 HOW DO YOU KNOW? 228 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,930 BECAUSE THE FEMALE LAYS AN EGG POUCH IN THE SAND. 229 00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:54,034 AT A LATER DATE, THE MALE EMITS A CLOUD OF SPERM 230 00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:54,868 NEAR THE POUCH. 231 00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:58,205 THEY NEVER HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONTACT. 232 00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:01,575 IT'S ACTUALLY RATHER SAD. 233 00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:06,113 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOIN'? 234 00:09:06,146 --> 00:09:07,014 WHAT? WHAT? 235 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,582 YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT... 236 00:09:08,616 --> 00:09:11,619 MANLY FLUIDS IN FRONT OF THE LADIES. 237 00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:13,253 OH, YEAH? WHAT, IN THIS DAY AND AGE, 238 00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:16,289 WITH NUNS GOIN' AROUND SWEARIN', WHO'S TO SAY? 239 00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:17,591 THEY WEREN'T SWEARIN'. 240 00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:19,793 OH, COME ON, DAD, IF SHE DIDN'T SWEAR, 241 00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:20,794 HOW IS IT THAT MY WIFE, 242 00:09:20,828 --> 00:09:22,362 WHO HAS NEVER BEFORE ATTENDED A PARENTS MEETING, 243 00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,932 IS NOW PRESIDENT OF THE COMMITTEE, HUH? 244 00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:26,199 YOU DID THAT? 245 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,434 YES, I DID. 246 00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:28,902 ALL I HAD TO DO IS PROVE THAT SISTER HELEN SAID WHAT SHE SAID. 247 00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:35,575 A DIFFICULT TASK FOR MOST, BUT THEN AGAIN, THEY'RE NOT AS CREATIVE AS I AM. 248 00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:44,084 BEGIN YOUR CONFESSION, MY CHILD. 249 00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:46,654 [IRISH ACCENT] HELLO, FATHER, 'TIS I--AHEM-- 250 00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,922 MONSIGNOR REILLY. 251 00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:49,890 MONSIGNOR REILLY? 252 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,125 THAT'S RIGHT. I WAS JUST IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD 253 00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:53,226 DOIN' A LITTLE PENANCE CHECK, 254 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:57,097 MAKIN' SURE YOU'RE NOT OVERDOIN' IT ON THE HAIL MARYS, 255 00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,632 YOU SEE, HA HA. 256 00:09:58,666 --> 00:09:59,366 HA HA. 257 00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:00,133 YES. AHEM! 258 00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:03,370 SO THIS LAST CONFESSION, THIS NUN, 259 00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:04,872 GET ME UP TO SPEED. 260 00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:07,340 WHAT WAS--WHAT WAS HER DEAL? 261 00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:09,109 WHA--WAIT. 262 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,010 DON'T OPEN-- 263 00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:10,978 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 264 00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:12,145 OK, SO I'M NOT MONSIGNOR REILLY, 265 00:10:12,179 --> 00:10:15,115 BUT I--I WORK FOR SISTER HELEN AND SHE'S VERY FORGETFUL. 266 00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,016 WHAT DID SHE JUST SAY? 267 00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:18,819 YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO CONFESS OR GET OUT. 268 00:10:18,852 --> 00:10:20,654 WELL, I THINK WE CAN AT LEAST AGREE THAT 269 00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:22,389 SHE ADMITTED TO USING PROFANITY. 270 00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:23,623 I CAN'T ADMIT TO ANYTHING. 271 00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:26,326 WHAT HAPPENS IN THIS CONFESSIONAL IS ABSOLUTELY CONFIDENTIAL. 272 00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:27,394 THAT IS NOT TRUE. 273 00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:30,163 IF SHE CONFESSED TO MURDER, YOU'D HAVE TO SPEAK UP. 274 00:10:30,197 --> 00:10:31,031 NO, I WOULDN'T. 275 00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,100 WELL, WHAT SHE DID IS WORSE THAN MURDER. 276 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,334 MURDER IS MUCH WORSE! 277 00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,069 WORSE THAN WHAT? WHAT SHE DID. 278 00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:38,839 AHA, SEE? YOU'RE ADMITTING SHE ADMITTED IT. 279 00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:40,107 WHAT--GET OUT! 280 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:41,141 BUT-- 281 00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:42,142 GET OUT! 282 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:43,243 ALL RIGHT. 283 00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:44,177 OUT! 284 00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,145 OK. OK. 285 00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,014 WHOO! THAT FELT GOOD! 286 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:50,718 NO PENANCE. TOTAL FORGIVENESS. 287 00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:53,120 YOU VIOLATED THE SANCTITY OF THE CONFESSIONAL. 288 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,122 THAT'S A MORTAL SIN. 289 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,089 NO, IT'S NOT. 290 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:57,057 DAD'S RIGHT. THAT'S A MORTAL SIN. 291 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:58,892 OH, COME ON, WHAT, YOU'RE TAKIN' DAD'S SIDE? 292 00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:01,228 I GOT NO PROBLEM WITH IT, BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS. 293 00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:02,963 OK, LOOK, I'M SORRY, ALL RIGHT? 294 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,165 I WAS DESPERATE. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, 295 00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,367 BUT THEN, AS IF GOD HIMSELF SPOKE, 296 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,871 A RAY OF LIGHT SHOWN THROUGH. 297 00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:13,874 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 298 00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:15,408 [GROANING] 299 00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:17,711 [RING] 300 00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:19,079 [MOANING] 301 00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,281 [RING] 302 00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:23,316 OH, GOD. OHH. 303 00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:26,186 [RINGING] 304 00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:29,823 HELLO. 305 00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:32,425 YEAH, THIS IS HIM. 306 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:33,927 WHAT? 307 00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:37,030 NAME THE PLACE. I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. 308 00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,277 [SQUEAKING] 309 00:12:00,453 --> 00:12:02,155 Man: MR. FINNERTY? 310 00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:03,824 AAH! 311 00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:07,194 I CAN HELP YOU. 312 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,129 COOL. 313 00:12:12,365 --> 00:12:13,133 YOU DON'T WANT KIDS GOIN' OFF CAMPUS 314 00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:14,034 TO BUYS SNACKS, RIGHT? 315 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,770 SO IF YOU ALLOW ME TO PUT VENDING MACHINES 316 00:12:16,804 --> 00:12:18,171 IN THE HALLWAYS, IN THE CAFETERIA, 317 00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:20,407 IN THE GYM, YOUR PROBLEM IS SOLVED. 318 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:24,511 AND THE PROFITS WOULD BENEFIT ST. FINNIAN'S. 319 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:27,347 WHAT? 320 00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:28,448 CLAUDIA. 321 00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,383 HEY! CHAIR RECOGNIZES HIM, 322 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,786 SO SHUT YOUR BITE HOLE. 323 00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:35,755 AHH. 324 00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:37,925 SO WHO WAS THIS GUY IN THE SCHOOLYARD? 325 00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:38,758 AN ALLY, DAD. 326 00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,994 WHEN IT COMES TO HATIN' SISTER HELEN, 327 00:12:41,028 --> 00:12:44,497 THE SHADOWS ARE FILLED WITH FELLOW TRAVELERS. 328 00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:47,935 WHO ARE YOU? SHOW YOURSELF. 329 00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:52,072 IT'S YOU. 330 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,841 YES. 331 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:56,009 OH, MY--YOU'RE, UM... 332 00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:57,177 DAVID KERSEY. 333 00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:58,345 KERSEY, RIGHT! 334 00:12:58,378 --> 00:13:00,147 THE, UM...YOU'RE... 335 00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,149 KERSEY, THE SCIENCE TEACHER. 336 00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:03,450 YEAH, SCIENCE TEACHER! 337 00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:04,484 I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED. 338 00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:07,154 MR. FINNERTY, I WAS THERE. 339 00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:07,855 YOU WERE? 340 00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:10,057 I HEARD IT WHEN SISTER HELEN-- 341 00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:13,493 SAID THE WORDY DIRT. 342 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:14,594 EXCUSE ME? 343 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:15,896 GOOD DAY, MR. FINNERTY. 344 00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:17,230 NO. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY? 345 00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:18,031 I SAID GOOD DAY. 346 00:13:18,065 --> 00:13:23,003 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. DID--DID--DID-- 347 00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:24,371 YES! 348 00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:25,338 I'VE BEEN BRISTLING 349 00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:28,341 UNDER THAT WOMAN'S IRON FIST FOR 6 YEARS NOW. 350 00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:29,476 I CALL HER SISTER STALIN. 351 00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:31,311 THAT'S WITTY. THANK YOU. 352 00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:34,081 I'M ALWAYS THE LAST ONE IN LINE TO GET EQUIPMENT. 353 00:13:34,114 --> 00:13:35,282 SHE'S USING MY CLASSROOM FOR STORAGE, 354 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:39,419 AND NOW--NOW SHE'S THREATENING TO DISBAND THE SCIENCENAUTS. 355 00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:40,587 THE SCIENCE NUTS? 356 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:41,788 NOT NUTS, NAUTS! 357 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:45,525 LIKE A SCIENCE CLUB, BUT IT'S MUCH HIPPER AND MORE DYNAMIC. 358 00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:48,228 SHE WANTS TO DISBAND THE SCIENCENAUTS? 359 00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:50,497 IS THERE NOTHING THIS WOMAN WILL STOP AT? 360 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,632 COME ON. YOU GOTTA HELP ME NAIL HER! 361 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,334 I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DO THAT, 362 00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,336 BUT TAKE THIS. 363 00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:57,170 A KEY? 364 00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:58,571 THIS IS THE KEY TO THE FACULTY LOUNGE. 365 00:13:58,605 --> 00:14:01,975 IT'LL PROVE YOU HAVE A FRIEND ON THE INSIDE. 366 00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:04,978 AH, BUT I NEED SOMETHING FROM YOU FIRST. 367 00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:06,279 JOIN THE SCIENCENAUTS? 368 00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:07,214 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 369 00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:08,581 HE THINKS THAT IF YOU JOINED 370 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,417 AND ENCOURAGED SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS TO JOIN, 371 00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:12,252 IT WOULD GIVE IT A WHOLE NEW ENERGY. 372 00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:13,420 HA. NO WAY! NO WAY. 373 00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:17,557 THE SCIENCENAUTS ARE HOPELESS GEEKS. 374 00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:20,393 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? 375 00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:21,594 SCIENCENAUTS PROJECT. 376 00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:24,864 IT'S A SOLAR-POWERED CLOCK. 377 00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:27,400 IT DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING. 378 00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,169 WE'RE WAITING FOR THE CLOUDS TO PASS. 379 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:32,305 OH. WELL, I COULD TELL YOU WHAT TIME IT IS. 380 00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:33,540 NO! NO! NO! 381 00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:35,308 FINE. FINE. 382 00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:37,410 IT'S 8:23! 383 00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:39,212 NO! NO! OH! 384 00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:41,081 AWW! 385 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:42,549 I CAN'T JOIN THE SCIENCENAUTS. 386 00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:44,517 THE CHESS CLUB MOCKS THE SCIENCENAUTS. 387 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,519 HEY, THIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT ME, ALL RIGHT? 388 00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,655 YOU DO THIS, AND I'LL HAVE SISTER HELEN IN THE PALM OF MY HAND 389 00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:51,458 AND THEN I CAN GET STUFF FOR YOU, TOO. 390 00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,426 LIKE WHAT? 391 00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:55,462 YOU TELL ME. 392 00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:57,297 WELL, HOLY TRINITY AND ST. ANTHONY'S 393 00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:58,698 HAVE CASUAL FRIDAYS TWICE A MONTH. 394 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:02,069 THEY DON'T HAVE TO WEAR THEIR STUPID UNIFORMS. 395 00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:04,404 IF YOU COULD GET THAT FOR ME... 396 00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:05,572 I CAN... 397 00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:08,341 IF YOU PLAY SOME BALL. 398 00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:09,977 WELL, I HAVE TO DISAGREE 399 00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:11,078 WITH LILY'S CHARACTERIZATION OF 'EM. 400 00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:14,447 YOU KNOW, I WAS A FOUNDING MEMBER OF THE SCIENCENAUTS. 401 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:15,983 HA. OH, YEAH. 402 00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:17,517 I REMEMBER. 403 00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:21,388 OK, SCIENCENAUTS, 404 00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:24,057 OUR ELECTRICITY BILL WAS $300 LAST MONTH 405 00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:26,326 AND YOU HAVE YET TO GROW A SINGLE TOMATO. 406 00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:30,330 YOU JUST GOTTA BE PATIENT, SISTER, YOU KNOW? 407 00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,132 I THINK WE'RE STARTIN' TO BUD. 408 00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,967 LOOK AT THAT. 409 00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:37,437 THOSE WERE SOME GOOD TOMATOES, RIGHT? 410 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:42,375 YEAH, THOSE WERE SOME BAD-ASS TOMATOES. 411 00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:45,979 WELL, HOW COME I NEVER GOT ANY OF THOSE TOMATOES? 412 00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:48,481 WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE STOP HIM? 413 00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:50,517 [COCKNEY ACCENT] OH, I CANNOT TELL A LIE. 414 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:54,087 I CHOPPED DOWN THE CHERRY TREE, FATHER. 415 00:15:54,121 --> 00:15:57,357 I'M PRETTY SURE THAT GEORGE WASHINGTON 416 00:15:57,390 --> 00:15:59,392 DIDN'T HAVE A BAD BRITISH ACCENT. 417 00:15:59,426 --> 00:16:00,360 HOW DO YOU KNOW? 418 00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,562 YOU EVER MEET GEORGE WASHINGTON? 419 00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:03,563 DID YOU? 420 00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:06,633 I GEORGE WASHINGTON. 421 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:09,302 NO, YOU'RE NOT! 422 00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:10,270 GOD. 423 00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:13,306 SO YOU FORCED YOUR DAUGHTER TO JOIN THIS CLUB. 424 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:16,109 NO, I DIDN'T FORCE HER. I BROKERED A DEAL, 425 00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:18,311 A DEAL IN WHICH EVERYBODY WINS. 426 00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:21,648 WELL, EVERYBODY BUT ONE. 427 00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:24,151 I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU TODAY, MR. FINNERTY. 428 00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:24,851 I'M VERY BUSY. 429 00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:26,719 I'LL MAKE THIS SHORT AND SWEET. 430 00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:28,355 I GOT A WITNESS. 431 00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:29,456 MR. FINNERTY-- 432 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,758 HE'S FROM YOUR OWN FACULTY. 433 00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:37,164 YOU'RE BLUFFING, MR. FINNERTY, AND BADLY. 434 00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:38,231 OH, AM I? 435 00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:40,167 THEN HOW WOULD I HAVE GOTTEN MY HANDS ON THIS? 436 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:44,137 YES, YES, A KEY TO YOUR FACULTY LOUNGE. 437 00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:46,673 THAT COULD BE FOR ANYTHING. 438 00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:49,242 OH! WELL, SHALL WE TRY IT OUT? 439 00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:50,243 COULD BE A COPY. 440 00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:53,780 IT SAYS, "DO NOT DUPLICATE." 441 00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:01,521 WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, MR. FINNERTY? 442 00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,256 YEAH, I LIKE THAT. I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT. 443 00:17:03,290 --> 00:17:06,493 "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, MR. FINNERTY"? 444 00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,628 THAT'S GOOD. 445 00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:10,530 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 446 00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:15,335 JUST TRYING TO MEMORIZE THAT LOOK ON YOUR FACE. 447 00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:18,338 JUST NAME IT ALREADY. 448 00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:20,507 SO I GOT JIMMY OFF DETENTION, 449 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,442 I GOT HENRY THE LEAD IN THE SCHOOL PLAY, 450 00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,444 I GOT LILY HER CASUAL FRIDAYS, 451 00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:25,478 AND FOR MY LOVELY WIFE, 452 00:17:25,512 --> 00:17:28,781 A SEAT ON THE BOARD, WHICH NOW MEETS CONVENIENTLY 453 00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:29,582 AROUND HER SCHEDULE. 454 00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:33,120 ALL FROM DRIVING A NUN TO PROFANITY. 455 00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,487 YEP. 456 00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:35,788 BY BEING A JACKASS. 457 00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:37,590 YEAH! HEY, I'M ALLOWED, YOU KNOW. 458 00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:40,327 I NEVER TOOK SOME KIND OF ANTI-JACKASS OATH, 459 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:43,496 WHICH SADLY, FOR THE POOR SISTER, SHE DID. 460 00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:45,498 [DOORBELL RINGS] 461 00:17:45,532 --> 00:17:47,500 HELLO, EDWIN. 462 00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:48,701 SISTER, COME ON IN. 463 00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,837 BUT TRY TO WATCH THE LANGUAGE. 464 00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:53,506 THERE'S KIDS HERE. 465 00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:56,443 MR. FINNERTY, COULD WE SPEAK FOR A MINUTE? 466 00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:58,778 ALONE. 467 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,381 ALL RIGHT. YOU GONNA BEHAVE? 468 00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:06,653 BAKE SALES EARN A LOT OF MONEY, 469 00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:09,256 AND THEY'RE A HECK OF A LOT OF FUN, DON'T YOU THINK? 470 00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:10,757 NOT EVEN A LITTLE. REJECTED. 471 00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:14,761 LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME, SISTER HELEN, 472 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,696 BUT, UH... YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET IT. 473 00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:19,432 I DON'T WANT ANYTHING FROM YOU, MR. FINNERTY. 474 00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:20,500 YOU'VE GOT ME. 475 00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:22,235 THAT'S RIGHT, I DO. 476 00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:25,238 YES, AND I CAN'T GO ON LIVING LIKE THIS ANYMORE-- 477 00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:27,740 THE FEAR OF EXPOSURE, THE LIES. 478 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,609 AWW, WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD'VE THOUGHT OF THAT 479 00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:30,877 BEFORE YOU SAID WHAT YOU SAID. 480 00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:32,579 YOU'RE RIGHT, MR. FINNERTY. 481 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:33,613 CALL MONSIGNOR REILLY. 482 00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:37,517 YOU'LL BE RID OF ME, JUST LIKE YOU ALWAYS WANTED. 483 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,619 HERE'S HIS NUMBER. 484 00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:43,723 YOU REALLY DON'T THINK I'M GONNA CALL HIM, DO YOU? 485 00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:45,658 OH, I WANT YOU TO CALL HIM. 486 00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:47,560 WELL, GOOD, 'CAUSE I'M GONNA. 487 00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:48,561 YEAH. 488 00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:50,430 GOOD. 489 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:54,401 WHY? 490 00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:55,502 BECAUSE I DID IT. 491 00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:57,937 I SAID SOMETHING I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID. 492 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,240 I'M NOT PERFECT. 493 00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:01,274 I'M JUST A PERSON. 494 00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:03,543 BUT I'VE DEDICATED MY LIFE TO TRYING TO MAINTAIN 495 00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:07,447 A HIGHER STANDARD WHICH I FELL FAR SHORT OF, SO... 496 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,582 MAKE THE CALL. 497 00:19:11,618 --> 00:19:14,354 [PUNCHING IN NUMBERS SLOWLY] 498 00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:18,958 OH, GOD, WOMAN! YOU'RE SUCKING ALL THE FUN OUT OF THIS! 499 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,461 [SLAMS DOWN PHONE] 500 00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:28,901 WELL, I GUESS THERE IS SOME GOOD IN YOU. 501 00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:29,802 AH, WHATEVER. 502 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:34,707 BY THE WAY, MR. KERSEY WANTS HIS KEY BACK. 503 00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:35,942 WAIT A MINUTE. 504 00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:37,944 YOU KNEW IT WAS HIM? 505 00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:39,712 WELL, OF COURSE! 506 00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:42,615 I MEAN, IT WASN'T VERY DIFFICULT TO FIGURE IT OUT. 507 00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:47,387 BRAD, LEFT HAND, BERYLLIUM. 508 00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:50,590 B-BERYLLIUM? 509 00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:54,827 OK, YOU'RE NOT GETTING TO BERYLLIUM THAT WAY, BRAD. 510 00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:57,597 HA HA. 511 00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:58,731 HA-A-A-A. 512 00:19:58,765 --> 00:19:59,866 Mr. Kersey: OK, LILY. 513 00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:02,235 LEFT FOOT, MERCURY. 514 00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:03,870 WHERE'S MERCURY? 515 00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:06,406 RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. 516 00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,342 OH! 517 00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:13,246 IT WAS SO OBVIOUS. 518 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,548 THE LAST TIME THEY HAD A GIRL IN SCIENCENAUTS, 519 00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:17,350 THEY WERE TRYING TO BUILD ONE, 520 00:20:17,384 --> 00:20:20,353 BUT I'VE SHOWN MR. KERSEY THE ERROR OF HIS WAYS. 521 00:20:20,387 --> 00:20:23,690 SO YOU HAD KERSEY IN YOUR POCKET THIS WHOLE TIME? 522 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:24,891 MMM...YES. 523 00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:29,562 TH-TH-THIS WHOLE APOLOGY THING WAS JUST A RUSE? 524 00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:30,630 MM-HMM. 525 00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:31,764 OH, GOD, NO. 526 00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:34,934 OH, NO, THIS IS NOT HAPPENING! 527 00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:39,272 WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? 528 00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:43,776 JUST TRYING TO MEMORIZE THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE. 529 00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:45,878 HA HA HA. 530 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:47,280 OH, AND, UH, BY THE WAY, 531 00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:51,618 JIMMY'S DETENTION, CASUAL FRIDAY, EVERYTHING GOES BACK THE WAY IT WAS. 532 00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:55,288 OH, SISTER HELEN, I AM SO GLAD TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT, 533 00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:56,423 BECAUSE THIS PARENT COMMITTEE 534 00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:58,858 DESPERATELY NEEDS MY LEADERSHIP. 535 00:20:58,891 --> 00:20:59,626 NO. 536 00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:02,729 BUT CLAUDIA'S RUINING EVERYTHING! 537 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,831 I DON'T LIKE YOU. 538 00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:07,567 MRS. FINNERTY, CONTINUE. 539 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,436 BUT--BUT... 540 00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:12,572 FINNERTY'S LARGE AND IN CHARGE! WHOO! 541 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:15,775 YES, WELL, I JUST HOPE IT WAS WORTH ALL YOUR EFFORT. 542 00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:16,543 OH, IT WAS! 543 00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:18,010 THIS THING ISN'T OVER. NO, NO, NO. 544 00:21:18,044 --> 00:21:19,312 NOT BY A LONG SHOT! 545 00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:20,680 HENRY'S ONLY IN THE THIRD GRADE. 546 00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:22,615 I CAN STILL HAVE MORE KIDS-- 547 00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:24,684 SHE JUST FLIPPED ME OFF! 548 00:21:24,717 --> 00:21:27,854 CLAUDIA! SISTER HELEN JUST FLIPPED ME OFF! 549 00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:29,689 SHE GAVE ME THE FINGER! 550 00:21:29,722 --> 00:21:32,024 Sister Helen: I WAS SCRATCHING MY NOSE! 551 00:21:32,058 --> 00:21:35,828 NOBODY SCRATCHES THEIR NOSE WITH THAT FINGER! 552 00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:39,165 COME ON! 553 00:21:39,198 --> 00:21:40,433 I MEASURE LIVE CRUSTY FALCONS. 554 00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:41,067 NOT QUITE. 555 00:21:41,100 --> 00:21:43,570 IVAN SLAMS YOUR CLAMS! 556 00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:45,872 NO, BABY. THAT DOESN'T EVEN USE HALF THE LETTERS. 557 00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:47,774 FEAST ON MY VILE CIRCUS. 558 00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:50,710 YOU, SIR, FACE MY EVIL SMUT! 559 00:21:51,010 --> 00:21:55,114 VISUALIZE A SEMIERECT CARNEY, FLOE. 560 00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:56,015 WHO'S FLOE? 561 00:21:56,048 --> 00:21:59,051 IT WAS EITHER FLOE OR OLEF. 562 00:21:59,085 --> 00:22:00,820 I'M GETTING COLD. 563 00:22:00,853 --> 00:22:04,123 I HAVE LAVA IN MY SMURF CREASE. 564 00:22:04,156 --> 00:22:05,525 THAT'S GOOD. 565 00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:07,560 BRILLIANT! 39131

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