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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,605 --> 00:00:05,373 COME ON, MAN. IT'S EDDIE. 2 00:00:05,406 --> 00:00:06,274 YOUR LITTLE EDWIN. 3 00:00:06,307 --> 00:00:07,775 YOU OWE ME ONE. 4 00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:09,610 WELL, THAT'S NOT MY FAULT. 5 00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:10,644 OK. I CAN HANG ON. 6 00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,813 HEY, EDDIE, DON'T YOU HAVE A PHONE AT YOUR HOUSE? 7 00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:16,650 THERE ARE CERTAIN CALLS I'D PREFER NOT TO ORIGINATE AT MY HOUSE. 8 00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:17,585 OH, GREAT. OK. 9 00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:18,619 FEED MY KIDS WHEN I'M IN PRISON, ALL RIGHT? 10 00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:21,689 I'M MAKING THIS CALL FOR YOUR DAUGHTER, BUBBA JAY. 11 00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:24,225 DON'T CALL ME BUBBA JAY. 12 00:00:24,492 --> 00:00:28,062 YEAH. YOU GOT 'EM? YOU GOT THE TICKETS? 13 00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:31,099 GOOD. GOOD. ROCK ON. 14 00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:33,067 I GOT 'EM. 15 00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:33,734 NO. 16 00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:36,370 YEAH. THE NO DOUBT TICKETS? 17 00:00:36,404 --> 00:00:37,838 YEAH. 18 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:38,806 NO. 19 00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:39,907 I'M TELLIN' YOU, YEAH. 20 00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:42,676 AAH! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD! 21 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:45,213 YOU ARE THE BEST UNCLE IN THE WHOLE WORLD. 22 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,114 OK. GET OFF ME. 23 00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:47,047 [SHRIEKS] 24 00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:49,450 I BROUGHT THE SNAKE. WHICH DRAIN IS CLOGGED? 25 00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:51,119 GREAT, DAD. GIVE IT HERE. Walt: NO, NO. 26 00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:53,487 THIS IS A FINELY-TUNED PIECE OF EQUIPMENT. 27 00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:54,622 YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE IT. 28 00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:55,523 DAD, I'M AN ELECTRICIAN. 29 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,225 YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW HOW TO USE A DRILL? 30 00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:59,127 WHEN YOU HOOK A DRILL UP TO A SNAKE, 31 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,662 IT'S A WHOLE DIFFERENT ANIMAL. 32 00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:04,432 NOW, WHAT DID YOU CLOG THE SINK WITH, ANYWAY? 33 00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:06,167 NOTHING. 34 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:10,104 HENRY, DON'T WEAR A HAT IN THE HOUSE. 35 00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:11,805 OK. 36 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:19,647 OH, DEAR LORD. PUT IT BACK ON. PUT IT BACK ON. 37 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,116 DAD, WAIT. HE GOT A NOT-SO-GREAT HAIRCUT. 38 00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:24,218 WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? 39 00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:27,488 HEY, CHECK OUT THE BACK. 40 00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:30,791 YOU CAN SEE MY SKULL. 41 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,710 SO, WHO DID THAT TO HENRY'S HAIR? 42 00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:55,183 AW, YOU TOOK HIM TO ONE OF THOSE PLACES IN THE VILLAGE, DIDN'T YOU? 43 00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:59,387 WHERE THEY ALL DRESS IN BLACK AND NOBODY TALKS TO YOU. 44 00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:02,256 NO, NO. NO. I TOOK HIM TO TONY. 45 00:02:02,290 --> 00:02:03,757 TONY? HE'S NOT CAPABLE OF THAT. 46 00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:08,396 OH, COME ON, WALT. DO NOT DEFEND THAT BUTCHER IN THIS HOUSE. 47 00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:09,530 HE IS INCOMPETENT. 48 00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:11,565 BUT SEAN HAD A NICE LITTLE TALK WITH HIM. 49 00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:13,701 I'M YELLIN' AT YOU BECAUSE I'M AN ASS! 50 00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:16,204 I CAME BY YESTERDAY WITH MY SON! 51 00:02:16,237 --> 00:02:18,239 GET OUT OF HERE. 52 00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:24,645 YOU SCREAMED AT TONY? 53 00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:27,881 THE MAN HAS BEEN CUTTIN' MY HAIR FOR 30 YEARS. 54 00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:31,419 SAME HAIRCUT, FLAWLESS EVERY TIME. 55 00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,821 MAYBE IT'S TIME FOR OLD TONY TO RETIRE. 56 00:02:33,854 --> 00:02:36,457 YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS? IT'S JUST A HAIRCUT. 57 00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:38,626 YEAH. YOU'RE RIGHT, BUDDY. 58 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,261 IT'S OK, RIGHT? 59 00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:41,395 OH, YEAH. IT'LL GROW OUT. 60 00:02:41,429 --> 00:02:42,696 SURE. EVENTUALLY. 61 00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:44,798 IT'S JUST HAIR. 62 00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:50,638 JIMMY, YOU GOTTA RELAX, OR YOU'RE GONNA GIVE US ALL AWAY. 63 00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:51,639 DAD, I CAN'T. 64 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,908 I FEEL LIKE I'M GETTING AN ULCER OR SOMETHING. 65 00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:58,746 JIMMY, AT YOUR AGE, IT'S PROBABLY JUST INTESTINAL PARASITES. 66 00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:02,883 OH, OK. WHAT'S GOIN' ON? 67 00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,017 LOOK. LOOK, OK? 68 00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:05,686 THIS WHOLE THING STARTED WHEN CLAUDIA GOT IT IN HER HEAD 69 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:07,755 THAT I DON'T CARRY MY SHARE. 70 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:12,526 ALL RIGHT? AND YOU KNOW HOW CONDESCENDING SHE CAN BE. 71 00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:15,329 SO YOU'RE GONNA GET HENRY HIS HAIRCUT TODAY, RIGHT? 72 00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:17,265 YEAH. YEAH. GO BACK FURTHER. 73 00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:19,333 YOU'RE NOT GONNA FORGET, ARE YOU? 74 00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:20,968 NO. 75 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:25,806 Claudia: SEAN, LISTEN. IT'S FOR HIS CHOIR RECITAL. 76 00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:28,642 PLEASE DON'T FORGET. HE'S GOT A SOLO. 77 00:03:28,676 --> 00:03:30,778 WE'LL ACTUALLY GET TO SEE HIM THIS TIME, 78 00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:31,912 AND HE REALLY NEEDS A HAIRCUT. 79 00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:34,815 I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW, OK? 80 00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:36,016 I'M NOT GONNA FORGET. 81 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,386 'CAUSE YOU NEVER FORGET ANYTHING, RIGHT? 82 00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:42,523 SURPRISE! SURPRISE! SURPRISE! 83 00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,993 YOU DID PICK UP JIMMY? 84 00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:48,796 YEAH. OF COURSE. 85 00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:53,801 OH, GOD. YOU KNOW, THAT WAS LIKE ONE TIME. 86 00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:55,303 YO, ELWAY. CHUCK IT. 87 00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:57,638 ONE TIME? NO. IT'S ALL THE TIME. 88 00:03:57,671 --> 00:04:01,409 IT'S THE GARBAGE THAT DOESN'T GET TAKEN OUT 89 00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:02,776 AND THE DOG THAT DOESN'T GET WASHED. 90 00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:05,779 THE HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS DON'T GET TAKEN DOWN. 91 00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:07,348 WHOA. WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? 92 00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:10,484 THERE'S A WITCH ON OUR DOOR, SWEETIE. 93 00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:12,920 OH, OK. THAT'S SO INSULTING. 94 00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:14,054 WELL, COME ON. WHAT? 95 00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:17,891 THAT'S SO UNFAIR FOR YOU TO SIT HERE ON YOUR HIGH HOR-- 96 00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,793 YOU KNOW, HOW DARE YOU? 97 00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:20,828 HOW DARE I? 98 00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:22,430 YES, HOW DARE YOU, 99 00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:25,666 LAYING THIS TRIP ON ME LIKE I'M SOME IRRESPONSIBLE BOOB 100 00:04:25,699 --> 00:04:27,735 WHO DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF HIS FAMILY. 101 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,069 Eddie: YO, SEAN. 102 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,705 NO, NO, NO. YOU AND I MIGHT HAVE DIFFERENT PRIORITIES, CLAUDIA, OK? 103 00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:34,308 BUT I AM A GOOD FATHER AND A GOOD HUSBAND 104 00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:35,843 AND IF SOMETHING NEEDS DOIN' AROUND HERE, OK, 105 00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:38,812 I ULTIMATELY GET AROUND AND DO IT, 106 00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:41,549 AND I WOULD APPRECIATE, OK, 107 00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:42,883 A LITTLE BIT OF THANKS 108 00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,386 AND JUST SOME KIND OF ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF THAT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. 109 00:04:45,419 --> 00:04:46,920 YO, YO, YO, YO, YO. 110 00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:49,857 [CAR ALARM GOES OFF] 111 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,862 [SHOUTS OVER NOISE] VERY STIRRING SPEECH! 112 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:57,765 [SHOUTS] WELL, IT NEEDED TO BE SAID! 113 00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:04,472 HEY, LIL, CHECK IT OUT. 114 00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:05,373 THE TICKETS. 115 00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:07,708 YES! WHO'S COOLER THAN YOUR UNCLE EDWIN? 116 00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,677 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 117 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:10,811 HOW DID YOU GET THEM? 118 00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:11,745 I KNOW A GUY. 119 00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:13,414 YOU ALWAYS KNOW A GUY. 120 00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:14,982 HOW MANY GUYS DO YOU KNOW? 121 00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:17,885 I KNOW ABOUT 75 GUYS. 122 00:05:18,586 --> 00:05:20,721 THIS IS SO FAR BEYOND COOL. 123 00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:21,689 Claudia: WHAT IS? 124 00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:24,925 EDDIE GOT ME 4 TICKETS TO THE NO DOUBT CONCERT. 125 00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:25,926 OH, THAT'S GREAT. 126 00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:28,462 NO. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 127 00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:29,430 IT'S AMAZING. 128 00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:31,932 IT'S TOTALLY SOLD OUT, AND IT'S IN A TINY CLUB. 129 00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:33,867 IT'LL BE LIKE THEY'RE IN OUR HOUSE. 130 00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:35,836 THAT IS AMAZING. 131 00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:37,671 NO. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 132 00:05:37,705 --> 00:05:38,772 IT'S INCREDIBLE. 133 00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:41,775 IT'S A BENEFIT CONCERT, ONLY 300 PEOPLE WILL BE THERE, 134 00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:44,845 AND ME AND MY FRIENDS WILL BE FOUR OF THEM. 135 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:46,113 THAT'S INCREDIBLE. 136 00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:48,482 NO. IT'S GENIUS. 137 00:05:48,516 --> 00:05:49,316 I KNOW. 138 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:52,820 OH, FORGET IT. YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND. 139 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:53,987 OH, I UNDERSTAND. 140 00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:56,524 IT'S REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY GREAT. 141 00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:57,224 I GET IT. 142 00:05:57,257 --> 00:05:59,893 YOU'RE NOT GETTING THIS AT ALL. 143 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:04,698 SO, IF YOU GOT HENRY THE HAIRCUT, 144 00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:08,469 THEN WHY IS JIMMY HIDING IN THE DRYER? 145 00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:09,837 WHAT? 146 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,940 HEY, JIMMY, GET OUT OF THERE. COME ON. 147 00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:13,841 THAT'S NOT SAFE. 148 00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,042 HEY, DAD, I WAS GONNA GET HIM THE HAIRCUT, 149 00:06:15,075 --> 00:06:17,945 BUT I WASN'T GONNA BLOW A WHOLE SATURDAY ON IT, ALL RIGHT? 150 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,447 SO I TOOK HIM TO THE MOVIES. 151 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:20,981 DUDE, WHERE'S MY COKE? 152 00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:22,650 DUDE, WHERE'S MY SHOE? 153 00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:23,817 DUDE, WHERE'S MY BUTT? 154 00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:25,085 DUDE, WHERE'S MY DUDE? 155 00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:25,953 OK, THAT'S ENOUGH. 156 00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,455 COME ON. WE GOTTA GET TO THE BARBERSHOP. 157 00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:28,088 LET'S GO, GUYS. 158 00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:29,990 HOW LONG WAS THE MOVIE? 159 00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:34,695 WELL, IT WASN'T JUST THE MOVIE. 160 00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:38,131 LET ME TRY THE VERY VERY BERRY. 161 00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:41,902 LOOK, YOU CAN'T TASTE EVERY FLAVOR IN THE STORE. 162 00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:46,073 OH, NO. ACTUALLY, WE BETTER GET GOING TO THE BARBERSHOP. 163 00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:47,775 SORRY. 164 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:54,648 AND THEN YOU WENT TO THE BARBERSHOP. 165 00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:57,150 YEAH, WELL...UH, WELL, 166 00:06:57,184 --> 00:07:01,622 YEAH, NOT STRAIGHT THERE. 167 00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:04,792 WE...YEAH. 168 00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,426 NO. 169 00:07:06,894 --> 00:07:07,861 COME ON. 170 00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:09,930 PUSH THE BUTTON ALREADY. 171 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:11,532 UH, DAD? 172 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,734 YOU KNOW, WE'RE IN FRONT OF THE TAPE. 173 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,235 ARE YOU SURE THAT IT'S SAFE? 174 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,004 JIMMY, THE SET THE TAPE WAY FAR BACK. 175 00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:17,938 IT'S FOR INSURANCE. 176 00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:19,072 IT'S LIKE MILK. 177 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:21,609 YOU CAN DRINK IT WEEKS AFTER THAT DATE THEY PUT ON IT. 178 00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:22,776 Sean: ALL RIGHT! 179 00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:26,747 SHOWTIME. WHOO! 180 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,085 AWESOME. 181 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:33,320 CHECK OUT THE DUST CLOUD. 182 00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:38,058 DAD, ARE YOU SURE THAT IT'S SAFE TO BE IN FRONT OF THE LINE? 183 00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:39,960 YEAH. 184 00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,730 RUN! 185 00:07:45,999 --> 00:07:48,702 [COUGHS] I THINK I MAY HAVE BLACK LUNG. 186 00:07:48,736 --> 00:07:51,939 I THINK I'VE GOT BLOWN-UP PIECES OF RAT ON ME. 187 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:55,108 THEY PUT THAT YELLOW LINE WAY TOO CLOSE. 188 00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,845 OH, NO. 189 00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:01,582 SO YOU FRITTERED AWAY A WHOLE DAY? 190 00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,584 WE WERE HAVING FUN, AND THEN WE GOT TO THIS PLACE, 191 00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:04,918 AND THE BARBERSHOP WAS CLOSED, 192 00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:06,119 AND YOU KNOW CLAUDIA. 193 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,688 I KNEW HOW MUCH SHE WAS FREAKING OUT 194 00:08:07,721 --> 00:08:09,790 ABOUT HENRY GETTING HIS HAIR CUT FOR THE RECITAL, 195 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,592 AND THEN I THOUGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? 196 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,627 HOW HARD COULD IT BE? 197 00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:16,029 HUH? HUH? 198 00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:19,266 ALL RIGHT. 199 00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:20,300 OH, WOW. 200 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:21,101 WHAT, WOW? 201 00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:22,069 THAT WAS A BIG CLUMP. 202 00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:26,106 I'M GONNA DO THE SAME THING TO THE OTHER SIDE. 203 00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:31,845 VOILA. 204 00:08:31,879 --> 00:08:33,013 HOW DOES IT LOOK? 205 00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,047 Eddie: UH-OH. 206 00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:34,982 WHAT, UH-OH? 207 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,016 WHY DID YOU DO THAT? 208 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:37,050 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 209 00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:39,219 THAT'S NOT WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE. 210 00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:41,655 ISN'T IT EASIER TO CUT IT IF IT'S WET? 211 00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:43,123 YES. GOOD POINT. YES. WET. 212 00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:46,059 HEY, HAND ME THAT SPRAY BOTTLE RIGHT THERE. 213 00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:49,129 THAT'S GOOD. GOOD DEAL. 214 00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:50,030 AAH! OW! 215 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,632 THAT'S WINDEX. 216 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:55,535 OH, GOD! OH! SORRY, HENRY. 217 00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:00,774 OK. OK. LOOKING GOOD. 218 00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:02,275 LOOKIN' CROOKED. 219 00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:05,579 YOU HAVE TO USE THE EARS TO CALIBRATE. 220 00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:06,479 I'M USING THE EARS. 221 00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:07,915 IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE YOU'RE USING THE EARS. 222 00:09:07,948 --> 00:09:10,217 LOOK, IF ANYTHING, I'M OVER-RELYING ON THE EARS. 223 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,853 JUST PUT THE SCISSORS DOWN AND WALK AWAY. 224 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,722 I CAN'T. I CAN'T. 225 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,081 YOU KNOW WHAT? 226 00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:43,350 I GOTTA FLUFF. I JUST GOTTA FLUFF. 227 00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:46,053 [HAIR DRYER RUNS] 228 00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:49,022 OK. WE GOT SOME BODY. 229 00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:52,192 WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO RIGHT HERE? 230 00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:53,761 WHERE? 231 00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:56,029 Jimmy: HE'S GOT A BALD SPOT. 232 00:09:56,063 --> 00:09:58,632 HEY, IT'S GOOD, HENRY. 233 00:09:58,666 --> 00:10:00,200 IT MAKES YOU LOOK OLDER. 234 00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:03,336 SO YOU JUST DUMPED THE HAIR DOWN THE DISPOSAL? 235 00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:06,640 WELL, I FIGURED IF CLAUDIA COULDN'T FIND THE EVIDENCE, 236 00:10:06,674 --> 00:10:07,274 THEN, YOU KNOW, 237 00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:08,408 SHE WOULD NEVER KNOW. 238 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,178 SHE COULD LOOK AT HIS HEAD. 239 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:15,115 YEAH. YEAH, AND SHE DID. 240 00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:19,086 * IN MY HAND NO PRICE I BRING * 241 00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:24,091 * SIMPLY TO THY CROSS I CLING * 242 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,226 * ROCK OF AGES 243 00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:28,028 * CLEFT TO ME 244 00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:31,732 * LET ME HIDE MYSELF IN THEE * 245 00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:35,335 OH, MY GOD. WHAT HAPPENED TO HENRY'S HAIR? 246 00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:35,969 UH... 247 00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:38,205 TONY THE BARBER WAS DRUNK. 248 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:40,974 YEAH. 249 00:10:41,008 --> 00:10:44,377 * BE OF SIN THE DOUBLE CURE * 250 00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:49,282 * SAVE FROM WRATH AND MAKE ME PURE * 251 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:57,224 * SAVE FROM WRATH AND MAKE ME PURE * 252 00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:02,095 SO, JIMBO CAME THROUGH WITH AN EXCELLENT STORY, 253 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,897 AND I WAS OFF THE HOOK. 254 00:11:03,931 --> 00:11:06,066 WHAT A PROUD DAY. 255 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:10,203 DAD, LISTEN. I CAN'T KEEP LYING LIKE THIS. 256 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:11,238 I WANT TO TELL THE TRUTH. 257 00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:14,441 HEY, HEY, HEY. JIMMY, WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER, OK? 258 00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,977 SO IF I GO DOWN, YOU GO DOWN. 259 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,212 WHY? I DIDN'T CUT HENRY'S HAIR. 260 00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:20,147 YOU DIDN'T STOP US. 261 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:23,316 THAT MAKES YOU AN ACCESSORY AFTER THE FACT. 262 00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:31,291 HEY, KRISTINA. WHATCHA DOIN' SATURDAY NIGHT? 263 00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:33,260 YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GUESS WHAT I GOT. 264 00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:37,264 YEAH. SOMETHING TOTALLY BEYOND COOL JUST HAPPENED. 265 00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:39,032 I GOT... 266 00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:42,702 SEE, I GOT... 267 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,873 I GOTTA GO. 268 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,476 WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK HER TO THE CONCERT? 269 00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:51,478 I'M NOT GOING TO ASK HER. 270 00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:53,480 KRISTINA IS YOUR BEST FRIEND. 271 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:55,883 EXACTLY. SHE ALREADY LIKES ME. 272 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:58,986 WHAT DO I HAVE TO GAIN BY INVITING HER? 273 00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:01,188 IT WOULD JUST BE A WASTE OF A TICKET. 274 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,290 I MEAN, THESE THINGS COULD BE MY KEY 275 00:12:03,323 --> 00:12:05,125 TO POPULARITY FOREVER, 276 00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:09,029 AND I ALMOST BLEW ONE ON MY FRIEND. 277 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,531 HEY, LIL. WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT-- 278 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:15,168 WHOA. WHAT IS IT, JIMMY? 279 00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:16,436 WHAT? 280 00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:17,971 HA HA. THERE'S A SOFTENER SHEET ON YOUR BACK, 281 00:12:18,005 --> 00:12:20,774 WHICH MEANS YOU'VE BEEN IN THE DRYER, WHICH MEANS YOU'VE BEEN HIDING FROM ME, 282 00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:24,244 WHICH MEAN YOU'RE KEEPING SOMETHING FROM ME. WHAT IS IT? 283 00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:26,113 NOTHING. 284 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:28,415 ARE YOU LYIN'? 285 00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:32,085 YES. MM-HMM. 286 00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:36,256 OK, UNCLE EDDIE, YOU GOT ME INTO THIS, 287 00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,058 SO YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME OUT. 288 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:38,758 WHAT? 289 00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:39,860 ALL RIGHT. THESE ARE THE NAMES 290 00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:42,529 OF EVERYBODY I COULD POSSIBLY INVITE TO THE CONCERT. 291 00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:43,696 THE BLUE PEOPLE ARE MY ACTUAL FRIENDS, 292 00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:46,466 THE RED PEOPLE ARE POPULAR PEOPLE WHO KINDA KNOW ME, 293 00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:51,338 AND THE GREEN PEOPLE ARE POPULAR PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE ME. 294 00:12:52,039 --> 00:12:53,006 OK. 295 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,308 ALL RIGHT. NOW, IF I INVITE MORE THAN ONE GREEN, 296 00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:56,376 THEY'LL JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER, 297 00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:58,011 AND I'LL END UP WITH A BLUE OR A RED. 298 00:12:58,045 --> 00:13:00,413 AND THE RED WOULD PROBABLY JUST GO OVER TO THE GREEN, 299 00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:01,381 SO THAT WON'T WORK. 300 00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:03,216 BUT IF I INVITE AN EXTRA BLUE FOR INSURANCE, 301 00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:04,852 THE GREEN PERSON WON'T EVEN COME, 302 00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:06,053 SO I MIGHT AS WELL NOT EVEN RISK IT 303 00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:08,088 AND JUST INVITE BLUES AND REDS AND NO GREENS, 304 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:10,457 BUT THAT WOULD BE SUCH A WASTE, WOULDN'T IT? 305 00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,994 WHO'S GREEN AGAIN? 306 00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:16,964 POPULAR PEOPLE WHO DON'T LIKE ME. 307 00:13:16,997 --> 00:13:19,867 OK. WHY DON'T YOU JUST-- 308 00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,001 WAIT A MINUTE. WHO'S BLUE? 309 00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:25,038 OH! YOU ARE USELESS! 310 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:27,975 RUB IT IN, WHY DON'T YOU? 311 00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:31,144 I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN HE GAVE HENRY THAT HAIRCUT. 312 00:13:31,178 --> 00:13:32,245 IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN OBVIOUS. 313 00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:35,548 WELL, YOU, YOU LYING TO ME, THAT'S WHAT THREW ME OFF. 314 00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:38,585 MOM, I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO, 315 00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:42,622 BUT DAD TOLD ME IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. 316 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,157 OK. THAT LOOKS OK, RIGHT? 317 00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:45,058 Jimmy: NO. 318 00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:48,028 LILY, GIVE ME THAT HAT. COME ON. COME ON. 319 00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:48,929 WHY? 320 00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:52,165 'CAUSE HENRY NEED TO BORROW IT, THAT'S WHY. 321 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:56,336 OH, YEAH. YEAH. THAT DOESN'T LOOK STUPID AT ALL. 322 00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:58,038 WHERE'S A MIRROR? 323 00:13:58,071 --> 00:14:00,273 OH! UM...OH. 324 00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:01,641 MOM IS GONNA FREAK OUT. 325 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:05,078 LOOK, NOT IF SHE DOESN'T FIND OUT HOW IT HAPPENED, OK? 326 00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:06,113 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, GUYS. 327 00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:08,115 LITTLE LIFE LESSON, ALL RIGHT? 328 00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:09,182 THERE ARE CERTAIN SITUATIONS, 329 00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:10,884 AND THIS IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF ONE OF THEM, OK, 330 00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:12,519 WHERE THE BEST BET FOR EVERYBODY INVOLVED 331 00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:16,256 IS THAT WHAT WE DO IS, WE...UH, WE LIE. 332 00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:18,358 BUT YOU ALWAYS TELL US NOT TO LIE. 333 00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:20,427 YOU YELL AT US WHEN WE LIE. 334 00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,195 OK, BUT THIS IS A WHITE LIE, ALL RIGHT, 335 00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:22,963 AND THAT'S THE KIND OF LIE 336 00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:23,863 WHERE YOU SPARE SOMEONE'S FEELING, 337 00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:25,498 AND WE'RE SPARING YOUR MOTHER'S FEELINGS. 338 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:26,666 HOW? WELL, WE'RE KEEPING HER 339 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,601 FROM FEELING BAD THAT SHE MARRIED AN IDIOT. 340 00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:31,204 NOT LYING'S LIKE A COMMANDMENT. 341 00:14:31,238 --> 00:14:33,606 YEAH? WELL, SO IS HONORING THY FATHER, OK? 342 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:36,543 AND THAT'S, LIKE, MUCH HIGHER, 343 00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:38,345 OK? SO, LOOK. 344 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,113 ARE YOU GUYS WITH ME ON THIS ONE? 345 00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:41,214 I DON'T KNOW. 346 00:14:41,248 --> 00:14:42,149 OH, COME ON. JIMMY, 347 00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:43,216 JIMMY, JIMMY, LISTEN TO ME. 348 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,551 YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND SOMETHING. 349 00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,987 YOUR MOTHER IS A WOMAN, OK, 350 00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,688 AND SHE KEEPS SCORE EVERY TIME I SCREW UP, 351 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:52,125 AND THIS AFTERNOON, I LOBBED A BIG MEATBALL ACROSS THE PLATE, 352 00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:55,128 SO I HAVE TO ASK ONE THING OF YOU, SON, OK? 353 00:14:55,162 --> 00:14:57,430 JUST DON'T FREAK OUT ON ME! 354 00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:01,001 AND HE THOUGHT I WASN'T GONNA FIGURE THAT OUT? 355 00:15:01,034 --> 00:15:04,471 YOU DIDN'T FIGURE IT OUT. I TOLD YOU. 356 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,273 WELL, HE DOESN'T HAVE TO KNOW THAT. 357 00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:09,076 SEE? NOW YOU'RE MAKING ME LIE. 358 00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,543 NO, NO, NO. IT'S OK, JIMMY, 359 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,346 'CAUSE I'M ASKING YOU TO LIE ABOUT A LIE. 360 00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:14,414 IT JUST CANCELS IT OUT. 361 00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:18,585 YOUR DAD, THOUGH, ASKED YOU TO LIE ABOUT THE TRUTH, 362 00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:20,620 AND THAT IS JUST WRONG. 363 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:25,192 FOR THAT, HE WILL SUFFER. 364 00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:28,528 OK, UNCLE EDDIE. I'VE GOT IT FIGURED OUT. 365 00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:30,630 YOU READY? 366 00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:31,331 OK. OK. 367 00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:33,100 SO I INVITE JULIE AND LAUREN. 368 00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,168 NOW, JULIE HATES LAUREN, SO SHE WON'T GO, 369 00:15:35,202 --> 00:15:37,170 BUT I'LL STILL GET POINTS FOR ASKING. 370 00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:38,138 NOW, KIM WILL GO, 371 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:40,173 BUT SHE'LL WANT TO BRING HER BOYFRIEND BRANDON, 372 00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:42,609 BUT THAT'S OK, 'CAUSE HE'S CAPTAIN OF THE BASKETBALL TEAM. 373 00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:45,612 NOW, HE DOESN'T GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT JASON AND DAVID, 374 00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:47,647 AND THEY EACH HAVE GIRLFRIENDS, WHICH IS FINE, 375 00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:48,915 'CAUSE ONCE I'M IN WITH THAT CROWD, I'M SET. 376 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:53,053 SO I GET LAUREN, KIM, BRANDON, JASON, DAVID, ALLISON, MARILEE, 377 00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:55,622 HER LITTLE SISTER, AND HER SISTER'S FRIENDS, GAIL AND TRACY, 378 00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:59,359 AND ALL I NEED FROM YOU IS 7 MORE TICKETS. 379 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,263 I CAN'T GET 7 MORE TICKETS. 380 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,564 I CAN WORK WITH 5. 381 00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:07,167 I CAN'T GET ANY MORE TICKETS. 382 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,337 3? NO. NONE. ZERO. 383 00:16:10,370 --> 00:16:11,738 AAH! 384 00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:13,706 YEAH. TELL ME ABOUT IT. 385 00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:17,277 IT'S SO FUNNY. TWO DAYS AGO, THAT DRAIN WAS WORKING FINE. 386 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:21,481 IT SURE WILL BE INTERESTING TO SEE WHAT'S CLOGGED DOWN THERE, WON'T IT? 387 00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:22,315 YOU KNOW WHAT? 388 00:16:22,349 --> 00:16:23,516 YOU GOT SO MUCH STUFF TO DO, CLAUDIA. 389 00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:27,087 YOU DON'T WANT TO HANG OUT AND WATCH US UNCLOG THE DRAIN. 390 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,255 NO. I'M INTERESTED. 391 00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:30,457 YOU KNOW, I THINK I KNOW WHAT IT IS. 392 00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:31,424 YEAH. LILY, 393 00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,226 SHE PUTS PAPER TOWELS DOWN THERE ALL THE TIME. 394 00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:37,430 I'M GONNA GO GIVE THAT GIRL A PIECE OF MY MIND. 395 00:16:37,464 --> 00:16:38,198 UH... 396 00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:40,267 UH--DON'T--UH-- DON'T--UH--DON'T-- 397 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:41,000 YOU KNOW, DON'T DO THAT, 398 00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:43,636 BECAUSE, UH, WELL, IT WASN'T HER. 399 00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,472 HOW DO YOU KNOW? 400 00:16:45,505 --> 00:16:46,639 WELL, BECAUSE, 401 00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:49,809 YOU KNOW, I WAS-- I JUST SO HAPPENED TO BE WATCHING HER, 402 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:51,111 OK, BEFORE, 403 00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:54,247 AND SHE WASN'T DOING THAT. 404 00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:55,848 YOU KNOW? 405 00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:57,484 SO YOU'VE BEEN GUARDING THE DRAIN? 406 00:16:57,517 --> 00:17:00,787 HA HA! YOU MEAN LIKE--NO. 407 00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,289 NO. NO. 408 00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:03,623 I WAS--NO. 409 00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:06,826 IF IT'S NOT PAPER TOWELS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT COULD POSSIBLY BE, 410 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,761 UNLESS IT WAS HENRY'S HAIR THAT YOU CUT YOURSELF 411 00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:11,598 AND THEN TRIED TO FLUSH DOWN THE DISPOSAL. 412 00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:18,405 YOU'RE RIGHT. 413 00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:20,373 IT WAS LILY AND THOSE DAMN PAPER TOWELS. 414 00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:21,774 IT WAS NOT LILY'S DAMN PAPER TOWELS. 415 00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:23,610 SEE, I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA MAKE A BIG DEAL ABOUT THIS. 416 00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:26,346 HOW COULD I NOT MAKE A BIG DEAL ABOUT THIS? 417 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:29,282 YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SAID, "HOW DARE YOU? 418 00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:31,284 HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY COMPETENCE?" 419 00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:33,653 OH, THERE'S NO WAY I SAID, "HOW DARE YOU." 420 00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:35,255 OH, I THINK YOU DID. 421 00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:38,325 HOW DARE YOU! 422 00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:39,526 HERE, EDDIE. 423 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,262 [CAR ALARM GOES OFF] 424 00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:45,365 I DIDN'T SAY IT LIKE THAT. 425 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,633 YOU'RE AMAZING, SEAN. 426 00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:50,103 AND 2 HOURS AGO, GIVEN THE CHOICE OF JUST TELLING ME THE TRUTH 427 00:17:50,137 --> 00:17:51,404 OR YELLING AT POOR OLD TONY, 428 00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:52,139 YOU YELLED AT TONY. 429 00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,674 OK. THAT MIGHT NOT HAVE GONE DOWN 430 00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:58,345 EXACTLY THE WAY YOU MAY HAVE PERCEIVED IT TO HAVE. 431 00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:00,580 CLAUD. CLAUD. WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'? 432 00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,249 I'M GOING TO TONY'S. 433 00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:03,216 WHY? 434 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:04,484 I'M GONNA PLUNGE HIS SCISSORS INTO HIS NECK. 435 00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:06,553 OH, NO, CLAUD. CLAUDIA, DON'T DO THIS. 436 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,355 AFTER THAT HAIRCUT HE GAVE HENRY? 437 00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:10,457 NO, NO. COME ON. COME ON. LET ME TALK TO HIM. 438 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,392 YOU DON'T EVEN CARE. 439 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,461 I CARE. THEN WHY AREN'T YOU ANGRY? 440 00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:15,428 OH, I'M ANGRY. 441 00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:16,729 I WANT TO GO IN THERE AND TEAR HIM A NEW ONE. 442 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,531 I WANT TO GO TEAR HIM TWO NEW ONES. 443 00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:20,367 JUST LET ME DO IT, OK? 444 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,569 OK. OK. 445 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:25,738 TONY. 446 00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:26,839 SEAN. 447 00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:28,775 LISTEN, YOU'VE DONE NOTHIN' WRONG, YOU UNDERSTAND ME? 448 00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:29,676 NOTHIN' AT ALL. 449 00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:31,378 YEAH? YEAH. YEAH, 450 00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:32,312 AND I CAME BY YESTERDAY 451 00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:33,313 WITH MY BOY TO GET A HAIRCUT 452 00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:34,381 BUT YOU WERE CLOSED, 453 00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:35,182 SO I GAVE HIM A HAIRCUT, 454 00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:36,015 AND IT WAS THE WORST FREAKIN' HAIRCUT 455 00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:38,251 IN THE HISTORY OF HAIRCUTS--THE WORST! 456 00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:39,819 WELL, WHAT ARE YOU YELLIN' AT ME FOR? 457 00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:41,154 WHY AM I YELLIN' AT YOU? 458 00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:41,854 BECAUSE I'M AN ASS, 459 00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:43,356 AND I'M TRYIN' TO SAVE MY BUTT, 460 00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:44,424 AND YOU SEE THAT WOMAN OUT THERE? 461 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,492 SHE'S MARRIED TO ME, OK, 462 00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:47,627 SO YOU LET ME YELL AT YOU FOR JUST A MINUTE LONGER, 463 00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:48,861 SHE MIGHT NOT KILL ME! 464 00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:49,896 DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME, 465 00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:52,465 YOU PERFECTLY NICE SON OF A BITCH? 466 00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:54,501 PLEASE, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. 467 00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:56,203 YOU-- 468 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:03,576 AND I'LL PAY FOR THAT NEXT TIME I'M IN! 469 00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:11,918 WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? 470 00:19:11,951 --> 00:19:12,952 WELL, I WAS THINKING 471 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,322 I'D RATHER HAVE A BARBER MAD AT ME THAN MY WIFE. 472 00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:17,457 YEAH. OF COURSE YOU WOULD. 473 00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:22,795 YOU ONLY GET ONE HAIRCUT A YEAR, YOU DIRTY HIPPIE. 474 00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:27,567 OK. HERE'S THE HAIRBALL. 475 00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:30,570 IT LOOKS LIKE A DEAD SQUIRREL. 476 00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:32,705 YEAH, IT DOES. 477 00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:34,474 CAN I HAVE IT? 478 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:35,608 NO! NO, NO. 479 00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:37,344 BUT IT CAME OFF OF ME. 480 00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:38,778 NO, HENRY. NO. 481 00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:40,447 OH! 482 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:41,681 OH, COME ON. 483 00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:47,520 IT WAS LIKE MOM COULD SEE RIGHT INTO THE CENTER OF MY SOUL... 484 00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:52,292 AND WHAT SHE SAW THERE WAS THIS HARD EVIL, 485 00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:56,496 AND IT BURNED MY INSIDES LIKE FIRE. 486 00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:59,732 YEAH, BUT YOU GET USED TO IT. 487 00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:03,370 HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? 488 00:20:03,403 --> 00:20:05,505 DO WHAT TO YOU? 489 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,407 GIVE ME 4 TICKETS. 490 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,610 UH, YOU BEGGED FOR THEM? 491 00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:13,280 THINK, UNCLE EDDIE. 4 TICKETS. 492 00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:14,447 THE MATH DOESN'T WORK. 493 00:20:14,481 --> 00:20:15,448 SURE, I GET 3 NEW FRIENDS, 494 00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:17,950 BUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN EVERYBODY ELSE FINDS OUT? 495 00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:19,252 I'LL BE RUINED. 496 00:20:19,286 --> 00:20:21,454 HEY, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I HAD TO GO THROUGH TO GET THOSE TICKETS? 497 00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:23,323 MAJOR FAVORS WERE CALLED IN. 498 00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:25,925 A FED EX EMPLOYEE RISKED HIS JOB. 499 00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:31,698 2 STRIPPERS HAD TO MAKE A LATE NIGHT TRIP TO JERSEY. 500 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:32,765 DO NOT ASK ME WHY. 501 00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:35,968 WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE ABOUT YOU, UNCLE EDDIE? 502 00:20:36,002 --> 00:20:37,904 WHAT ABOUT ME? 503 00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:41,941 SHE'S WEIRD. 504 00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:43,576 YOU SAID IT. 505 00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:45,612 HEY, YOU WANT TO GO SCALP THESE? 506 00:20:45,645 --> 00:20:46,245 SURE. 507 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:47,614 ALL RIGHT. PUT A JACKET ON 508 00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:49,849 AND SOME SHOES YOU CAN RUN IN. 509 00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:51,484 Sean: CLAUD. CLAUD. 510 00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:53,052 CLAUDIA. CLAUDIA. CLAUDIA, I'M SORRY. 511 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,421 I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE SORRY. 512 00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:55,455 WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT? 513 00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:57,557 I JUST WANT YOU TO DO THE STUFF I WANT YOU TO DO. 514 00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:58,625 YEAH. I WANT TO DO THOSE THINGS. 515 00:20:58,658 --> 00:20:59,959 REALLY. I WOULD LOVE TO BE THE GUY 516 00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:01,428 THAT WANTS TO DO THOSE THINGS, 517 00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:02,194 BUT I JUST CAN'T, 518 00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:04,431 OK, BECAUSE I'M NOT GOOD AT THEM. 519 00:21:04,464 --> 00:21:05,665 I'M JUST NOT PROGRAMMED THAT WAY, YOU KNOW? 520 00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:08,435 IF SOMEONE'S BLEEDIN', I'M RIGHT THERE. 521 00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:09,469 FIX A BICYCLE, SURE. 522 00:21:09,502 --> 00:21:12,071 YOU KNOW, PICK SOMETHING HEAVY UP OFF THE GROUND 523 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,474 AND PUT IT SOMEWHERE. THAT'S ME, 524 00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:17,510 OK? BECAUSE THOSE ARE THE THINGS I'M GOOD AT, 525 00:21:17,544 --> 00:21:18,378 BUT THE TERRIFIC THING IS, 526 00:21:18,411 --> 00:21:20,480 IS THAT YOU'RE GREAT AT THE OTHER THINGS, 527 00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:22,415 AND THAT'S WHY I'M SUCH A LUCKY GUY. 528 00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:24,517 IT'S LIKE THE YIN-YANG, YOU KNOW? 529 00:21:24,551 --> 00:21:26,453 YOU AND THE THINGS THAT YOU DO, 530 00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:28,521 YOU HOLD THIS FAMILY TOGETHER, 531 00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:30,457 LIKE REMEMBERING BIRTHDAYS 532 00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:32,625 OR BUYING CLOTHES 533 00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:38,598 OR MAKING THOSE TASTY, BALANCED LUNCHES 534 00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:39,399 FOR OUR LITTLE ONES, 535 00:21:39,432 --> 00:21:41,601 AND THAT'S WHY I'M SUCH A LUCKY GUY, 536 00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:42,902 AND I'M IN AWE OF YOU 537 00:21:42,935 --> 00:21:44,103 BECAUSE YOU'RE AMAZING. 538 00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:48,975 YOU DON'T REALLY THINK I'M BUYING ANY OF THIS CRAP, DO YOU? 539 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:52,579 YEAH. OK. 540 00:21:58,017 --> 00:21:58,818 SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK, TONY? CAN YOU FIX IT? 541 00:21:58,851 --> 00:22:00,887 OF COURSE HE CAN FIX IT. HE'S THE KING. 542 00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,689 I DON'T KNOW. THIS IS A TRAIN WRECK. 543 00:22:02,722 --> 00:22:04,056 AW, COME ON, GUYS. IT'S NOT THAT BAD. 544 00:22:04,090 --> 00:22:06,726 THERE'S NOTHIN' TO WORK WITH ON THE SIDES. 545 00:22:06,759 --> 00:22:07,627 MOHAWK. 546 00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,095 YEAH. MOHAWK. 547 00:22:09,128 --> 00:22:11,063 YEAH. MOHAWKS ARE BACK BIG-TIME. 548 00:22:11,097 --> 00:22:12,098 NO, THEY'RE NOT. 549 00:22:12,131 --> 00:22:13,099 Tony: I GOTTA BE HONEST WITH YOU. 550 00:22:13,132 --> 00:22:16,035 WE MIGHT AS WELL SHAVE HIM BALD AND START FRESH. 551 00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:17,937 I WANT TO BE BALD. 552 00:22:17,970 --> 00:22:19,872 WHOA. I'M NOT PAYING YOU TO MAKE HIM BALD. 553 00:22:19,906 --> 00:22:21,040 I CAN MAKE HIM BALD. 554 00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:22,008 DON'T TOUCH THAT. 555 00:22:22,041 --> 00:22:24,010 SEAN, PUT THAT DOWN. 556 00:22:24,911 --> 00:22:26,913 NOW. 39084

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