Original subtitles

ALL RIGHT, JIMMY, MAKE IT FUNKY, BABY.

[BONGOS PLAYING] [WHISTLE BLOWING]

ALL RIGHT, HENRY, COME ON. TAKE US HOME, MAN.

WHOO!

IT'S GETTIN' THERE, IT'S GETTIN' THERE.

I DON'T LIKE THE FLUTAPHONE.

WELL, YOU'RE NOT GETTING THE BONGOS.

YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FUNK.

I DO SO.

HEY, HEY, HEY.

WHAT HAVE I TAUGHT YOU ABOUT SHARING?

NOTHING.

WELL, SHARE.

FINE, TAKE THE BONGOS, BUT I QUIT THE BAND.

GOOD. WE DON'T NEED A STUPID FLUTAPHONE PLAYER ANYWAY.

HEY! WHAT'S UP, MAN? HOW WAS YOUR TRIP?

[CAJUN ACCENT] GREAT! OH, IT WAS GREAT.

N'AWLINS IS A HELL OF A TOWN.

W-WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR EYE?

WHOO, THAT'S A WONDAMUS STORY, YOU DAGGUM RIGHT.

"DAGGUM RIGHT"?

WELL, THAT'S HOW WE SAY IT DOWN IN N'AWLINS.

OH, COME ON, MAN. YOU WERE LIKE, LIKE, DOWN THERE FOR A WEEK.

N'AWLINS GETS IN A MAN'S BLOOD, SEAN.

WHAT DID YOU BRING US, UNCLE EDDIE?

CHILD, WAIT TILL YOU SEE WHAT I DONE BROUGHT YOU.

TINY GLASSES.

WITH BUTTS ON 'EM.

LOOK, I'M UNCLE EDDIE.

"OH, WHOA, DUDE, I STOOD UP TOO FAST."

HEY, LET'S GO GET SOME KOOL-AID AND I'LL BE GRANDPA.

ALL RIGHT.

WHAT'D YOU DO WITH YOUR HALF OF THE MONEY

WHILE I WAS EATIN' éTOUFFéE IN N'AWLINS?

BUY A NEW GARBAGE DISPOSAL? A WATER HEATER, PERHAPS?

WELL, YOU KNOW, WHAT GOOD WOULD A WATER HEATER BE

WITHOUT A LITTLE, UH, BACKGROUND MUSIC?

WHAT DO YOU-- YOU GOT A LES PAUL?

MAYBE.

YOU SUCK. MAYBE.

LET ME PLAY IT.

COME ON, MAN. YOU KNOW, LIKE, 3 CHORDS.

I KNOW CHORDS THAT HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN INVENTED YET.

YEAH, I KNOW, I KNOW. I'VE PLAYED WITH YOU BEFORE.

COME ON. NO, NO. COME ON!

OK, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT! BUT JUST DON'T--NO-- NO WINDMILLS.

YOU GOTTA TURN THIS BABY UP.

HEY, COME ON, EDDIE. I GOT NEIGHBORS, MAN.

COME ON, I GOT NEIGHBORS!

[PLAYING LOUDER]

Sean: GREAT. GREAT!

Eddie: HEY, YOU GOT BAD WIRING OR SOMETHING.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LET HIM TOUCH IT.

YOU KNOW HE BREAKS THINGS.

COME ON, YOU WEREN'T HERE. YOU DIDN'T HEAR HIM WHINE.

DON'T LET HIM TOUCH IT AGAIN.

IT'S LIKE JAMES DEAN'S JACKET.

IT'S ONLY SEXY ON YOU.

OH, YEAH, THAT'S MY BABY. MMM.

I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR BABY.

WELL, YOU THOUGHT WRONG.

GOD, I LOVE MUSICIANS!

HEY, LILY.

HELLO.

GOD, YOU, UM, REALLY STINK.

YEAH, THANKS.

I JUST KINDA VOMITED IN MY MOUTH.

I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.

THERE'S PIG'S BLOOD ALL OVER MY SKECHERS.

AH, WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE RED ONES.

HEY, MAN, I, UH, DON'T MEAN TO PRY, BUT, UH...

MAN, YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

ACTUALLY, I KINDA DO.

ALL RIGHT. WELL, IT ALL HAPPENED BEFORE YOU WENT

DOWN TO "N'AWLINS," ALL RIGHT?

SHE CAME HOME ALL FIRED UP ABOUT SOME SKI TRIP...

EVERYBODY'S GOING AND MR. CADALINI IS CHAPERONING,

SO YOU KNOW I WON'T GET INTO ANY TROUBLE.

WAIT. DIDN'T HE SLEEP WITH A STUDENT A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO?

ALLEGEDLY.

HE IS A REALLY GOOD TEACHER.

NOW, SIGN MY PERMISSION SLIP, OK?

HOW MUCH IS THIS GONNA COST?

$500 IS VERY CHEAP FOR AN EXPERIENCE

I WILL REMEMBER THE REST OF MY LIFE.

NO. NO.

YOU DIDN'T EVEN CONSIDER IT!

IT WAS A KNEE-JERK REACTION

CAUSED BY AN EXTREME LACK OF MONEY.

WELL, WHAT IF I PAY FOR IT MYSELF?

OK.

I DON'T HAVE $500!

Lily: BUT MARGARET'S GOING

AND HER DAD'S BEEN OUT OF WORK FOR 6 MONTHS.

HEY, CAN YOU HAND ME THE SOCKET WRENCH, PLEASE?

YOU BUY STUFF FOR JIMMY AND HENRY ALL THE TIME.

I MEAN, HOW MANY FREAKING POKéMON ARE THERE?

155. WILL YOU HAND ME THE SOCKET WRENCH, PLEASE?

GET PIKACHU TO HAND IT TO YOU.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT. GO FOR THE OBVIOUS ONE.

GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON YOU WON'T LET ME GO.

WE DON'T HAVE THE MONEY.

AND SO YOU KNOW I WON'T DO ANY DRUGS OR ALCOHOL,

I HAVE SIGNED THIS PLEDGE WHICH STATES, "I WILL NOT DO DRUGS OR ALCOHOL."

CAN I GO?

NO! AAH!

MAN, SHE'S REALLY A PIT BULL.

YEAH, YEAH, BUT I WAS HANDLING IT,

AND EVERYTHING WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE

UNTIL YOU HAD TO GO AND OPEN UP YOUR BIG MOUTH.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

COME ON. WHEN YOU AND DAD CAME DOWN

LATER THAT AFTERNOON. YOU REMEMBER?

NO.

OH, YEAH, I FORGOT. YOU GOT "N'AWLINS" IN YOUR BLOOD.

YOUR MOTHER, GOD REST HER SOUL,

MANAGED TO SQUIRREL AWAY SOME MONEY

IN A PASSBOOK ACCOUNT FOR YOU TWO.

IT'S NOT A LOT, BUT SHE WANTED YOU TO HAVE IT.

HOW MUCH IS "NOT A LOT"?

HEY, LILY. INSIDE, YOUNG LADY, OK?

$1,800!

YES! THANK YOU, GRANDMA!

HOLD ON.

I'M GOING TO NEW ORLEANS.

THIS IS SO GREAT.

HEY, YOUR SKI TRIP IS NOT MY PRIORITY.

I'M GONNA GO CALL KRISTINA. SHE IS GONNA DIE!

YEAH, IT WARMS MY HEART TO SEE YOUR MOTHER'S LAST WISHES COME TRUE.

OH, WHAT, THAT I'M GONNA HAVE A BIG BLOW-UP WITH MY DAUGHTER

AND MY BROTHER'S GOING ON A WEEK-LONG DRINKING BINGE?

YOU JUST CAN'T LET AN OLD MAN BE HAPPY

FOR EVEN A MINUTE, CAN YOU?

CAN YOU BELIEVE THE CHUTZPAH ON THAT GIRL?

IT'S UNREAL. LIKE WE GOT NOTHIN' BETTER

TO SPEND OUR MONEY ON?

THIS IS GONNA BE FUN. BUYING A NEW WATER HEATER.

YOU KNOW, LILY'S SKI TRIP IS GONNA LAST, LIKE, A WEEK.

A NEW WATER HEATER WILL LAST, LIKE, 30 YEARS.

UNTIL WE ARE 60.

Sean: OOH, OHH. Claudia: HEH.

YEAH, WE'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING.

IT'LL FEEL GOOD TO DO SOMETHING SENSIBLE.

[GASPS] OH, MY SWEET GOD.

[BRITISH ACCENT] CAN I HELP YOU?

YEAH, CAN I SEE THAT GUITAR?

SURE. SEE IT?

NO, MAN, CAN I PLAY IT?

I DON'T SEE THAT HAPPENING.

I MIGHT BUY IT.

I THINK YOU BETTER LEAVE NOW.

EXCUSE ME. IS--IS THERE SOMETHING UP YOUR BUTT?

LOOK, THIS GUY AND HIS BROTHER,

THE STONER WITH THE CRAZY HAIR,

HAVE BEEN COMING IN HERE ONCE A MONTH FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS.

THEY PLAY THE GUITARS...

THEY SMUDGE THE GUITARS...

THEY DO NOT BUY THE GUITARS.

I DON'T THINK SO.

IT'S TOO TINNY.

HE BOUGHT A FLUTAPHONE HERE LAST WEEK.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

I JUST RECENTLY CAME INTO A RATHER LARGE FAMILY INHERITANCE,

AND I WOULDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO SPEND THIS MONEY

ON A WATER HEATER.

JUST DON'T SMUDGE IT.

I'LL TRY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I THINK I SHOULD HAVE MARRIED A ROCK STAR.

YOU ALREADY DID.

OHH, YES!

WE'RE SO GETTING THIS GUITAR.

WHAT ABOUT THE WATER HEATER?

I'LL TAKE COLD SHOWERS.

I WILL NEED COLD SHOWERS.

RING IT UP!

I DON'T SEE IT.

OH, HE LOOKS TOTALLY SEXY WHEN HE PLAYS GUITAR.

HE MAKES THE WRONG FACE.

HE LOOKS LIKE A DRUNK BEAR.

EXACTLY.

HEY, MOM, WHAT'S FOR DINNER?

OH, WE'VE GOT SOME LEFTOVER MEATLOAF, I THINK.

I TOLD YOU TO EAT MORE MEATLOAF LAST NIGHT.

I WAS FULL!

I HATE LEFTOVERS.

[CAJUN ACCENT] DOWN IN N'AWLINS,

YOU ADD SOME SPICE AND RICE TO YOUR LEFTOVERS,

YOU DONE DID YOURSELF SOME JAMBALAYA. HOO-EE!

LET'S GET YOU SOME DINNER.

NO, NO, YOU SET YOURSELF DOWN THERE, PRETTY LADY,

YOU YOUNG'UNS PLANT YOUR BOTTOMS.

I'M GONNA REACH IN HERE, GET SOME CHICKEN OUT,

I'M GONNA WORK SOME VOODOO ON THAT BIRD.

YOU BOYS ARE GONNA GET YOURSELVES A TASTE OF N'AWLINS.

OK, WAIT, STOP IT. TIME OUT, ALL RIGHT?

SAY "NEW ORLEANS." "NEW ORLEANS."

BUT THAT'S NOT THE WAY THEY SAY IT.

I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR EYE.

SOMEONE PUNCHED YOU IN THE FACE

'CAUSE YOU WERE WALKIN' AROUND SAYING "N'AWLINS."

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

THIS WAS JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING.

[CAJUN ACCENT] UH-HUH, UH-HUH. OH, MA CHéRIE,

SHOW US YOUR GOODIES. SHOW US YOUR GOODIES.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE REALLY ONLY ALLOWED TO SAY

THAT KIND OF A THING TO A WOMAN DURING MARDI GRAS.

OH. THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW.

HEY, MAN, IF YOU REALLY WANT A WOMAN TO TAKE HER TOP OFF,

ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS THIS...

OK, YOU'RE NOT SEXY.

THE LEAD GUITARIST IS THE SEXY ONE.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. YOU ONLY PLAYED LEAD GUITAR

BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T REMEMBER THE SONGS.

THAT DOESN'T MEAN I WASN'T SEXY.

THE LADIES COULDN'T TAKE THEIR EYES OFF ME. YOU KNOW WHY?

PITY?

SHOWMANSHIP.

[PLAYING ROCK MUSIC]

WHOO!

MAN, THAT WAS COOL.

IT WAS LIKE EVERYTHING WAS IN SLOW MOTION.

WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

YOU SMASHED MY GUITAR.

I WASN'T GONNA SMASH MINE.

YOU KNOW, NOW THAT I GOT THIS LES PAUL, IT'S ALL BEHIND US.

GOD, I'D LOVE TO SMASH A LES PAUL.

SO WOULD LILY.

[GUITAR PLAYING]

ALL RIGHT, WHAT SONG DO YOU GUYS WANNA HEAR?

GENIE IN A BOTTLE HAMSTERDANCE.

THE REAL SLIM SHADY.

Henry: HAMSTERDANCE!

HAMSTERDANCE! I WANNA HEAR HAMSTERDANCE!

LARGER THAN LIFE.

WHOA, UH, WAIT, DID SOMEONE SAY IRON MAN?

I AM IRON MAN!

NICE GUITAR.

WHOSE IS IT?

UH, MINE.

OH, MY GOD.

YOU SPENT MY SKI-TRIP MONEY ON A GUITAR!

AH, OH, HO HO HO, THAT WASN'T SKI-TRIP MONEY.

YES! YOU SAID IF WE HAD THE MONEY,

I COULD GO ON THE SKI TRIP.

NO, I DIDN'T. I SAID WE DIDN'T HAVE THE MONEY,

NOT THAT IF WE HAD THE MONEY, YOU COULD GO.

WELL, YOU IMPLIED IT.

NO, YOU MAY HAVE INFERRED IT, BUT I CERTAINLY DIDN'T IMPLY IT.

WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

WELL, "INFER" MEANS TO GATHER-- I DON'T CARE!

YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE!

OH, NO, NO, NO. YOU RUINED MY LIFE, MISSY,

BECAUSE IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU,

I WOULD HAVE HAD A GUITAR LIKE THIS YEARS AGO!

THAT'S NOT HOW I WOULD HAVE HANDLED IT.

OH, REALLY? HOW WOULD YOU HAVE HANDLED IT?

I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD KIDS.

[CAJUN ACCENT] ALL RIGHT, BOYS.

THIS CHICKEN'S GONNA THINK IT DONE DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN.

IT DID DIE.

Walt: HELLO!

HEY, COME AND SEE WHAT I GOT, EVERYBODY.

THIS IS REALLY GREAT. YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT.

HEY. HEY.

AH! WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO YOUR EYE?

UH, HE MET A GIRL IN NEW ORLEANS.

I SHOULD HAVE TAUGHT YOU BOYS TO BOX.

HEY, I HELD MY OWN.

Eddie: HEY!

HYAH!

I AM VERY PROUD.

SO, WHERE'S MY GRANDDAUGHTER?

LILY!

WHAT'S THAT?

IT'S A GENUINE FLEXIBLE FLYER.

WHAT'S IT FOR?

WELL, I KNOW HOW DISAPPOINTED YOU ARE

THAT YOU CAN'T GO SKIING,

SO HERE'S THE DEAL.

TOMORROW, YOU AND ME GET UP AT 6:00, JUMP IN THE CADDY,

AND BY LUNCHTIME, WE'RE SLEDDING IN THE POCONOS.

I WANTED TO GO SKIING WITH CUTE BOYS.

I DIDN'T WANT TO GO SLEDDING WITH AN OLD...

YOU.

WELL, IF THAT'S YOUR ATTITUDE, YOUNG LADY,

I JUST MAY NOT TAKE YOU.

GOOD. I DON'T WANNA GO.

I JUST WANTED TO HANG OUT WITH MY FRIENDS.

ALL RIGHT. YOU WIN.

THERE'S ROOM IN THE CADDY FOR ALL YOUR FRIENDS.

NO! UGH! I HATE THIS FAMILY!

I WISH I'D BEEN PUT UP FOR ADOPTION!

YOU ALMOST WERE.

WALT!

[CAJUN ACCENT] ALL RIGHT, BOYS,

Y'ALL SET YOURSELF DOWN FOR SOME DELECTIMOUS CHICKEN.

OH, COME ON, EDDIE. THAT CHICKEN'S BURNT BEYOND RECOGNITION.

IT'S BLACKENED BEYOND RECOGNITION. NOW, YOU TASTE THAT UP.

CAN I HAVE SOME KETCHUP?

OF COURSE YOU CAN.

THAT'LL RUIN THE FLAVOR.

BUT IT'S DRY.

NO, NO, NO, THAT'S BECAUSE ALL THE JUICES

ARE LOCKED UP INSIDE. I GUARANTEE.

WHY IS HE TALKIN' LIKE AN IDIOT?

[CAJUN ACCENT] AW, COME ON, PAPPY,

WHAT YOU TALKIN' 'BOUT? HE TALKIN' JES' LIKE

WE ALL BEEN TALKIN' LATELY, SHO' 'NUFF.

IT'S OFFICIAL. MY SHOES ARE RUINED.

ROAD KILL. SHE SMELLS LIKE ROAD KILL.

Lily: YEP.

SEAN, WHY DON'T YOU TELL HIM WHY

MY GRANDDAUGHTER SMELLS LIKE DEAD ANIMALS?

HEY, I AIN'T ASHAMED.

YOU REMEMBER THAT CRAZY BUTCHER DOWN ON HOPE STREET?

THE ONE WITH THE SAMPLES?

AH, KIDS, HAVE A FREE SAMPLE.

I DON'T THINK WE'RE ALLOWED TO EAT FREE MEAT.

YOU'LL LIKE IT. IT'S GOOD.

GO ON, EDDIE. EAT IT.

WHY DO I HAVE TO EAT IT?

IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T EAT IT, I'LL SMACK YOU.

A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO, DAD AND I POPPED IN THERE TO PICK UP A ROAST.

COME ON, DAD, I DON'T LIKE RUMP ROAST.

I LIKE STANDING RIB ROAST.

OH, I DIDN'T REALIZE YOU WON THE LOTTERY.

LOOK, LOOK, IT'S ONLY 29 CENTS MORE A POUND,

AND I'M WORTH IT.

MAY I HELP YOU?

SHE GOT A JOB?

YEAH, MY LITTLE BABY GRANDDAUGHTER, COVERED IN BLOOD.

HEY, SHE ONLY DID THAT TO TRY AND GET MY GOAT.

IS THERE SOME ANIMAL

I CAN GRIND UP FOR YOU? OH, JEEZ.

COME ON, LILY. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE?

NOTHING. POOR GIRL.

COME ON! SHE'S JUST CARRYING

THIS PIG'S HEAD TO MAKE ME FEEL SORRY FOR HER.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

UH, DID ANYONE HERE ORDER A PIG'S HEAD?

EXCUSE ME. DO YOU WANT ANYTHING?

THE CHICKENS AREN'T GOING TO KILL THEMSELVES.

YOU DON'T KILL CHICKENS HERE!

ARE YOU THE ONE WHO WORKS IN A BUTCHER SHOP?

FINE. STANDING RIB ROAST, 4 POUNDS.

OH, HOW CAN YOU MAKE HER WORK HERE?

Sean: I'M NOT MAKING HER WORK HERE!

DON'T YOU SEE WHAT SHE'S DOING?

SHE'S TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY

ABOUT THE GUITAR SO THAT SHE CAN GO SKIING.

WELL, IF YOU WON'T GIVE ME THE MONEY--

WELL, I'M NOT. HELL, I'LL GIVE HER THE MONEY.

NO, YOU'RE NOT. SHE'S MY DAUGHTER, AND YOU GOT...

PORK. I HAVE PORK IN MY HAIR.

OH, SO YOU ALREADY KNEW.

LITTLE GIRL, I PAY YOU TO SWEEP UP, NOT TALK TO THE CUSTOMERS.

MISS, YOU FORGOT YOUR PIG'S HEAD.

TRY THIS.

Butcher: THERE.

WELL, IT'S TOO BAD THE OLD MILL CLOSED.

YOU COULD HAVE HER WORKING THERE, TOO.

OH, I SUPPOSE WHEN I WAS A KID,

YOU WOULD HAVE GIVEN ME 500 BUCKS TO GO ON SOME SKI TRIP.

I NEVER LEFT YOU WANTIN' FOR ANYTHING.

EXCUSE ME, I BELIEVE EVERY DAY OF MY CHILDHOOD

I ASKED FOR A DOG.

HALF THE TIME YOU COULDN'T EVEN BATHE YOURSELF.

YOU EXPECT ME TO GET YOU A DOG?

AND I WANTED A TELESCOPE.

YEAH, JUST ONE MORE THING FOR YOU TO TURN INTO A BONG.

WHAT ARE YOU PICKIN' ON ME FOR?

HE'S THE ONE WHO BOUGHT THE GUITAR.

HEY, HEY, MOM WOULD HAVE WANTED ME TO HAVE THAT GUITAR.

SHE ALWAYS SAID I HAD TALENT.

YEAH, AND SHE TOLD EDDIE HE COULD BE AN ASTRONAUT.

I COULD'VE BEEN.

YOU GET CARSICK.

THAT'S BECAUSE OF THE GRAVITY.

MOM, WHAT SHOULD I USE ON BLOODSTAINS?

REALLY BIG BLOODSTAINS?

I DON'T KNOW. WISK?

TOOTHPASTE AND COLD WATER.

THANKS.

AHEM.

LOOK, MISSY, WE CAN CUT THE ATTITUDE ANY TIME YOU WANT.

I KNOW WHY YOU'RE WORKING AT THE BUTCHER SHOP,

AND IT'S A REALLY NICE, CONNIVING TRY, AND IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.

WE'RE KEEPING THE GUITAR.

WHY, BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU HOT?

YES, BECAUSE IT MAKES ME HOT.

'CAUSE IT MAKES YOUR MOTHER HOT.

OK, THAT'S GROSS.

WELL, YOU'RE LUCKY YOUR DAD TURNS ME ON,

OTHERWISE YOU WOULD NOT BE HERE.

BUT I AM HERE, SO WE CAN STOP TALKING ABOUT IT, OK?

Lily: LOOK...

THAT GUITAR TAKES US BACK TO A TIME WHEN WE WERE YOUNG

AND STUPID AND WE LIKED IT.

AND WE MISS IT.

COME ON. YOU GOTTA GIVE US THIS ONE THING, LIL.

OK, FINE.

BUT JUST REMEMBER THIS WHEN I START DATING A DRUMMER.

YOU HAVE MY BLESSING.

[FEEDBACK HOWLING]

ENJOY YOUR STUPID GUITAR.

YEAH? WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

YOU WIN. I GIVE UP.

YOU CAN KEEP YOUR STUPID GUITAR.

GOOD. I WAS PLANNING ON IT.

FINE.

WHY THE SUDDEN CHANGE OF HEART?

LOOK, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ENJOY MY SKI TRIP

KNOWING YOU'RE SITTING AT HOME ALL PATHETIC WITHOUT YOUR GUITAR?

I'D FEEL TOO GUILTY.

THANKS FOR RUINING IT FOR ME.

DOES THIS MEAN WE'RE GOING SLEDDING?

Lily: NO, IT DOES NOT!

THIS IS GOOD. THIS IS GOOD. SHE'S LEARNING, SHE'S GROWING.

GOOD. [PLAYS GUITAR]

DAMN IT! DAMN IT, DAMN--LILY!

LILY, LILY, COME DOWNST--STAIRS.

WHAT? I CAN'T KEEP THIS GUITAR NOW.

I'LL FEEL GUILTY EVERY TIME I PICK IT UP.

WELL, I'M NOT GOING SKIING.

WELL, I'M NOT GONNA KEEP THIS GUITAR.

YOU KNOW...

I GUESS WE'LL JUST GET A WATER HEATER, THEN.

SOMETHING THE WHOLE FAMILY CAN USE.

FINE. FINE.

IT WORKS OUT, THEN. YEAH. GOOD.

ARE YOU REALLY GONNA GET A WATER HEATER?

YEAH.

SCREW THAT! IF YOU'RE GETTING A WATER HEATER,

I WANNA GO SKIING!

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! WHAT ABOUT THIS WHOLE GUILT THING?

WHAT, OVER A WATER HEATER?

GO, GO! YES!

OH, THIS IS SO GREAT!

I HAVE TO GO CALL KRISTINA!

SHE IS GONNA COMPLETELY DIE!

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

YOU CAVED, DIDN'T YOU?

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! WE BOTH CAVED.

EXCEPT SHE GOT THE SKI TRIP.

HOW IS THAT HER CAVING?

YOU HAD TO BE THERE.

Walt: WELL, YOU READY FOR SOME SLEDDING?

[CAJUN ACCENT] YOU DAGGUM RIGHT, PAPPY.

Walt: AND STOP TALKING LIKE THAT.

Eddie: SORRY.

GOOD NIGHT.

IT'S KINDA TOO LATE TO RETURN IT TONIGHT.

WELL, I MEAN, IT WILL BE IF WE, UH, TAKE IT UPSTAIRS FOR AN HOUR.

AN HOUR?

WELL, I'M GONNA BE PLAYING FOR 45 MINUTES.

I THINK WE GOT ENOUGH MONEY LEFT OVER FOR THIS ONE.

IT KINDA LOOKS LIKE THE LES PAUL.

YEAH, YEAH, IT'S A "MR. GUITAR."

HEY, MAN, IS THIS ONE ANY GOOD?

NO.

[PLAYING OUT OF TUNE]

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

HMM. I THINK I WANT A DIVORCE.

COME ON, BABY.

UGH.