Original subtitles

I want to be at my best tonight.

For her.

I saw her in my dream last night.

She was playing the piano and singing.

I can'’t remember what she sang

but she was so happy.

And then she looked at me and she said

'I am finally with you girls.'

I swear to God, I thought it was for real.

And when I woke up this morning

I couldn't stop thinking about her.

It's like she is right here.

Right now.

Even thinking about it gives me goosebumps.

Oh dear.

Too much?

Yeah.

That's better.

Thank you.

I gotta run.

Okay.

I'’ll see you later.

See you later.

Hey.

Hey.

Can I come in?

Yeah sure, come in.

What'’s up?

I think I left my earrings here last time.

Pink box yeah?

That'’s the one.

Here we go.

Great thanks.

It's Friday night and you're not out.

What's wrong with you?

Let'’s go and get a drink. Come on.

Sometimes I just don'’t get you Alex. I really don'’t.

Ok Ok.

I'’m just going to grab a shower

and I'’ll meet you in the pub downstairs.

For a quick one.

Always a quick one with you.

You fuck off fucking bitch!

What got into you Alex? He was just joking.

I don't think so.

Now you have this bruise.

What about your audition tomorrow?

I can dance with a bruise.

In fact, it might just become a thing.

Like dancing with a bruise.

A thing?

Yeah. Kinda cool.

Dancing with a bruise.

Well, I think you're very pretty even with a bruise.

Now, let'’s get you home,

put some ice on it

a little make up and it won't be too noticeable tomorrow.

Hopefully.

It's okay.

Thanks Kate.

I'll be fine.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

I'’ll see you soon.

Hello.

This is Tom. Sorry to call so late.

Yeah. No worries.

I'm still awake.

We'’ve managed to locate the individual

you wanted us to find.

Yeah go on.

Listen Alex, it'’s a bit complicated.

I'’d rather give you the details in person.

Let'’s meet tomorrow at the same place?

Yeah sure.

What time?

Eleven AM?

Okay. All right. I'’ll be there.

See you tomorrow Alex.

Morning Alex.

I'’ve ordered you a strong black tea

just the way you like it.

Thank you.

Okay. Go on. I'’m ready.

Here you go.

Are you sure it's him?

Absolutely.

There is no doubt about that.

Fuck. I didn't expect that.

That's life for you. Full of surprises.

That's the address of his work.

Give me a call if you need anything else.

Thanks.

Any word from your Julia?

No,

my daughter is ignoring me.

I'’m sorry babe.

I'’m here.

I know.

We'’re like a married couple.

Always together but never have sex.

You'’ve been my rock all these years.

Are you getting all sentimental on me again?

You know how I get on her anniversary.

Twenty two years today.

Well look at me and my dream pet.

So how can I help you today?

Something happened.

I don'’t know what to do.

And how does this make you feel?

Angry.

Yeah.

I'’m very angry.

But...

But...?

But I'’m also

very excited.

So what happens now?

Hey.

What'’s the strongest spirit you'’ve got?

Rough night?

Make it a double.

Rough life!

Oh!

You're so cute!

Go on.

It'’s on the house.

Thanks.

I needed it.

Your first time here?

Yes.

I'’m Gloria Hole virgin.

Well you're in for a treat.

We'll see.

Go on.

Life is a code of many colours

it is never black and white.

Can'’t have one without the other

the dark without the light.

In the summer we were lovers

with a flame our hearts would burn,

a flame the autumn would smother and leave this heart to yearn.

Forever blue.

Forever blue.

I'’m putting on a show for the world to see.

No one will ever know that without you,

I'’m forever blue.

No more waking up early, just to watch you sleep.

We turn the blind eye to worry but such times will never keep.

I'’ve found a new smile this morning,

that doesn'’t come out as a frown.

A smile to wear while performing and to hide the tears of this clown.

Forever blue.

Forever blue.

I'’m putting on a show for the world to see.

No one will ever know that without you,

I'’m forever blue.

Yeah I'’m putting on a show for the world to see.

No one will ever know that without you,

I'’m forever blue.

Your pussy was on fire big time tonight.

I haven't enjoyed myself like that in a very long time.

We got to celebrate.

Fancy sleeping at mine tonight?

Girls night in?

Not tonight babe.

You seem distant recently.

I'm not.

I'm just tired.

Tired?

Yeah. With work and everything.

What's going on Gloria?

Tell me.

Your dream

What about my dream?

Can'’t stop thinking about it.

I couldn't sleep last night.

Gloria

I see her everywhere.

I went to the supermarket and I swear I saw her there.

I feel like I'’m going mad.

Pet

Sorted.

Why would you be spending twenty pounds on a haircut when I can do it for you?

Can you?

Of course.

I cut Julia'’s hair for years.

Julia'’s.

Yeah. Years.

Have you cut dude'’s hair before?

Always a first time darling.

Okay.

Actually

I need my clips. One sec.

Hi.

Hey bro.

The audition is at two o'’clock tomorrow.

What audition?

Gloria Hole's new show.

I mean this is why you'’re here for, isn'’t it?

Yeah.

I am.

Thanks.

Good luck.

Don'’t fuck it up.

Just don'’t fuck it up.

Honestly.

Darling,

I love you.

I know. I know. I love you too.

'Gloria Hole in search of new drag generation. Enquire within'’.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I really don't.

I'm sorry my love.

I really am.

Where did you see her?

In Chelsea.

Chelsea?

What were you doing there?

The bloody District line got suspended

so I ended up taking a bus instead.

The bloody district line is always suspended.

So I am walking to the bus stop

and I saw her

with him of course. Looking so pretentious.

Fuck them.

She didn't even say hello to me. It's like I don't exist anymore.

Maybe I should talk to her?

She used to listen to me.

Used to.

Not anymore.

We're too cheap for her.

Don't say that.

Maybe it's just a phase she is going through.

I'm just tired of trying you know?

I know.

Do you want to stay and help me pick the one?

It might cheer you up a little.

I know.

Hey.

You must be here for the Gloria Hole audition?

Yes.

It'’s that way.

Thank you.

What a tragedy.

Hello young lady.

I'm Gloria.

What'’s your name?

I am...

I'’m Kandi.

Kandi Flare.

Don'’t do the voice.

I love your accent though.

So international.

Where are you from?

I am French.

How majestic.

Well it'’s nice to meet you Kandi.

Who did your make up?

I did it.

I see.

Kandi,

tell me about your act.

Well I'm a dancer and an acrobat.

Dance for me.

I'm thinking about

How interesting.

Thank you.

Kandi,

how long have you been doing drag?

I'm totally new to this actually.

I'm a drag virgin.

I thought so.

Like a virgin.

Touched for the very first time.

Please leave your details with the guys. I'll be in touch.

I told you not to leave these glasses here.

- Yeah you did. - Then don'’t leave them here Richard.

Fuck will you get a grip?

Sorry.

Is there anything I can do?

Sorry babe. I just lost it.

It's ok.

Mama is here now.

How did it go?

Okay I suppose.

Anyone you like?

A few actually.

That's great, isn't it?

There is one girl. She is new.

New and foreign.

Everything about her is wrong but I really like her.

You'’ll never guess what she did for me.

Flamenco.

Flamenco?

Got to go.

You call me if you need anything.

See you later.

I'’m sorry pet.

Don'’t be.

I couldn't get hold of you.

I was busy.

I spoke to Dave

and he said he hadn'’t seen you in the studio since Monday.

I had to fix something.

Some family stuff.

You never talk about your family.

Even this apartment.

How can you afford it on your salary?

Please Kate

can we just stop this?

Stop what? You never tell me anything.

This interrogation.

Ok.

Ok.

Sorry.

I'’m sorry.

I'’m sorry.

Come on. Not now.

Just relax.

What's this?

Just some stuff.

Stuff.

Yeah.

Alex what's going on?

Nothing.

Are you shagging someone else?

Come on. It'’s just for work.

Yeah.

Right.

Fuck you Alex.

Are they coming in?

I'’m looking forward to seeing her.

Hey guys.

This is Kandi. She'’ll be working with us from now on.

Hello Kandi. Richard. Nice to meet you.

Hi Kandi.

I'm Toni.

I'm Toni. I own this lovely place.

Nice to meet you Toni.

Have we met before?

I don't think so.

Richard

can you get Kandi a drink?

So?

What age are you by the way?

I'’m twenty two.

My daughter is twenty two.

I didn'’t know you had a daughter.

I do.

What'’s her name?

Julia.

That'’s an interesting name.

It'’s very special name.

Much better.

Thank you.

Do you have any pictures of you as a man?

Why do you ask that?

I would like to see them. That'’s all.

You would like to see me as a man?

Yes.

Maybe one day.

I don't want to disappoint you just yet.

Come on. I won't be disappointed.

I live my life in drag.

I come to and from home in drag.

Drag is my life.

Really?

Drag is your life?

Yes.

It'’s become my life.

My therapist says I am hiding beneath my drag.

Beneath my desire to do drag.

Hiding from what?

You sound like my therapist now!

Sorry.

No, it's ok.

I guess I'm hiding from

love and rejection

and all the mistakes I made as a man

You're so sweet Kandi.

No one has asked me that before.

Ask you what?

To see me as a man!

Not for a long time.

To see the real me in a way.

Well,

I guess I'm just a bit curious.

I would like to see a drag transformation.

Dragformation!

Exactly.

Right. Anyway. Let's get down to business?

I'’ll put some music on.

Sorry boss.

Julia is here to see you.

Julia?

As in Toni'’s daughter Julia?

Yep.

Isn't Toni around?

No.

She left about half an hour ago.

Ok thanks. I'll be with her in a minute.

Sorry Kandi.

- Can you wait here? I won'’t be long. - No problem.

I can't believe it!

Julia darling!

Long time no see.

I know

Hi Uncle Sam.

And it's auntie Gloria outside the house!

Of course.

But I'’m sorry.

You'’ve just missed your mother. She isn't here.

Good

I actually came to talk to you

To me?

Of course dear

Gosh

I don't even know where to start.

Is everything okay darling?

If you need anything, you just have to ask

You know we'’ll do anything for you.

It's not that.

What is it?

Can you please

talk to mum?

Can you tell her I need some time off?

How do you mean?

I would like

not to see her for a while.

- I don't understand. - I don't want to see her right now.

Marcus

just proposed

and

I haven't told him about you guys yet

I just need to figure out how to do it I guess.

Tell him what dear?

This.

About you and mum working here

He is from a completely different world. His parents are

I understand.

But

honey we're your family.

We love you

Just talk to mum.

This will break her heart.

It's just temporary.

Until I figure out what to do.

I'’m sorry.

Sorry to keep you waiting darling.

No problem.

Shall we continue?

Yeah sure.

Let's pick up where we left off?

Is everything all right?

You look a bit upset.

Do I?

Yeah. A little bit yes.

It's just my friend

needs some help

and I'm not sure how to help her

Can I help?

Kandi, thank you for saying this.

You're sweet to your mama, aren't you?

I'’m your drag daughter now.

So if I can help

Fuck it Kandi. I'’m so jealous of you.

I don'’t know what the word is

innocence

innocence maybe.

You promise me wherever you go and whatever you do,

you won'’t lose that in this fucking cruel world?

I promise I won'’t.

Good girl.

But I'm not that innocent.

Oh yes you are.

You're innocent to me.

Thank you.

Oh it's you.

Am I not welcome in this house anymore?

I just wasn'’t expecting you.

Look what I brought.

Your favourite!

What'’s happened?

Are you okay?

Julia was in the bar earlier.

Julia?

Yes.

Why didn't you call me?

Let's sit down maybe.

She wants to keep her distance for a while.

What the fuck does that mean?

She said she wants to

stay away from us for a while.

Us?

Well

you.

And me too I guess.

What?

Apparently Marcus proposed and

she doesn'’t know how to introduce us to his family.

Fuck Gloria.

She is ashamed of me.

Maybe it's just...

A phase?

Don't you use that line with me.

I'm sorry babe

I love you.

What did I do wrong?

Was I a bad mother to her?

You have been a great mother.

You are a great mother.

I don't know anymore

Maybe she belongs to an another world.

Too clever for us.

Too educated.

Don't say that.

Maybe we should have sent her to the nuns.

Yeah

to live under the vows of poverty, chastity and obedience!

Obedience!

Right?!

Can you imagine?

I know it's tough

but she will come back to us.

To you

Maybe

What we need is a show stopper.

Something that only a drag mother and her drag daughter would do. Okay.

Such as?

Let me think.

A fight?

Actually.

Fighting on stage could be a good idea.

Okay. So we fight.

Then we make up

and then we fight again.

Fight like only drag queens can. Okay?

Yes that'’s perfect. But maybe a bit more face slapping. Okay?

Where do you live?

In Chiswick.

Cool.

It's on my way

I'’ll give you a lift. I'’m driving today

After you madame.

Thank you darling.

So

This is your place?

Yes

It's lovely

Thanks

I like it

It makes me feel like home.

This place must be expensive. How can you afford it?

I don't pay you that much.

I have rich parents.

Good for you.

Where are your parents?

Do you want a drink?

Just some water please.

I never see you drink anything other than water.

I drink tea sometimes.

Very black

very strong!

Me too.

You know I meant that you don't touch alcohol at all.

I never do.

Why not?

It'’s a long story. I won'’t bore you to death with it.

Come on. Let'’s dance.

Are you serious?

We have been dancing all evening.

No. We have been doing drag all evening.

Come on. Show me your moves

Your non drag moves.

No way.

I'm way too shy for that.

You're so not shy.

You're a professional dancer for god's sake!

Come on

I'll lead then.

Ok

Be gentle

I don't think it's a good idea.

Or maybe it is.

Who knows.

You'll have to take your wig off too now.

Hold on.

You're so beautiful.

So are you.

No.

I want to see you.

Hello Alex. Long time no see.

Hey buddy.

How's your sex life?

Excuse me?

Was that fit bird not coming out of your flat the other day?

And?

I would.

Fuck you.

Next time don't be so selfish.

Send her to me too.

Hello pet. It's me

Just checking in on you as you aren't here yet.

Call me or whatsapp me.

Toni, is Gloria here?

Oh my God Kandi, is that you?

Of course it's me.

Come here. Let me look at you.

You're so handsome.

I didn't recognise you.

Please. Do you know where she is? I really have to talk to her.

- She isn't here yet. - Oh my god.

Do you have her address or anything I can use? Anything?

Sure. What'’s the matter Kandi?

Alex. Just please call me Alex.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

I just called her. She isn't picking up.

She should be here any second.

And so should you.

- Thanks - Kandi. Alex

Gloria.

We have to talk.

Gloria.

Hey.

I thought it was you!

Hi beautiful.

Come sit with me.

What's wrong?

Nothing is wrong.

Something is wrong if you're giving me compliments. That's a fact.

You're beautiful aren't you?

Oh.

You're drunk.

Of course. Makes sense.

Come on Kate.

Stay with me. Just for a drink. Quick one.

Always a quick one.

Believe me or not I'm really glad to see you.

I need someone normal. Like fucking normal.

Good to know I'm normal

Hello.

I'm sorry.

What'’s the matter pet?

Did you spend the night?

What about the show?

I cancelled it.

I said you came down with the flu.

Thank you

You'’d better block your nose or something tonight.

Yes

Are you going to be okay?

I'll be fine.

Do you want me to call Doctor Marshall?

No.

I'll be fine. Honest.

Before I forget.

Alex was looking for you yesterday.

Alex?

Kandi.

He came as a guy.

I didn'’t recognise him at first.

It'’s so strange

It'’s only then that I realised I'’ve only ever seen him as Kandi,

pretty naive drag.

But hey

he is a very attractive young man.

Have you seen him as a guy?

Yes. I think once.

He caught me by surprise that's for sure.

What did he want?

Something to do with the show.

Okay.

I'll call him later

It'’s a good idea.

Anyway

I'm going to head off now.

Morning.

Morning.

Last night was great.

I never

remember you being so

passionate.

Angry even.

Sorry.

Sorry?

For what?

Every girl needs angry sex occasionally.

You were great.

Yeah. Thanks.

You want a repeat of last night?

I have to go.

So typical of you.

Alex, the

I'm sorry.

Is Alex here?

Yeah. You are?

Tell him it's Sam from work.

OK

Yeah, come on in. I'll go and get him.

Hi Alex.

I'd like a word please.

It's about work.

I'm busy now.

It's not the best time really.

Please

Okay.

I'll be back in two minutes.

What are you doing here?

I'm sorry about leaving like that yesterday.

But

we need to talk.

I don't think I can see you right now.

- Please - I'll call you later.

I just

I said I'd call you.

I'll be waiting. Call anytime.

Here you go.

All done?

All done as requested.

I can'’t. Not now.

Anything else I can do?

No thanks.

Alex.

Come in

Alex.

Should I call you Alex?

Of course you should. I'm Alex.

Let's get back to real world from now on.

Ok, Ok

Alex.

I just want to say that I'm here for you and we'll sort it all out.

I promise.

This is just so fucked up.

Things happen for a reason sometimes

Reason?

What reason?

Look, I was still hoping this wasn'’t true but it is.

I'm your son. Your real son

Forget about drag daughter and drag family. What about the son?

Blood relative?!

I know you're my son.

I found the photograph of your mother.

I have the same photograph.

I carry it everywhere.

That way it'’s like she is always with me

I'’ve had this photograph of her since

I was a little boy.

Since I can remember myself.

When I found the photo

I thought I was going mad

I couldn't believe it.

Even took me a few minutes to realise that maybe you are my son

And you are my son.

This is crazy.

I shouldn'’t have left like that.

I panicked.

Please forgive me.

I came to your flat.

I needed to talk but you weren't there.

I'm sorry

I'm so sorry.

But I'’m here now

and I'm not going anywhere.

That night. Fuck.

You were just so nice

so close,

so familiar in some way

I know.

I felt it too.

And when I saw your face,

my father's face,

I so desperately needed to be loved.

I understand

And I'm here to love you if you let me.

You're so beautiful.

I need to know what happened.

When your mother told me she was pregnant with you

I was so happy

It was the happiest day of my life.

Believe me we both wanted you.

I had never seen your mother happier.

And then from heaven to hell in one day.

I was away

and we didn't expect you so soon.

You were ten days early.

By the time I got to the hospital

It was too late

Your mother died while giving birth to you.

After they told me that she died,

they gave you to me.

I put you in my arms.

You were so small and red

I looked at you and

I just cried

I was shocked

I didn'’t know what to do.

I couldn'’t bear to have you around me.

You reminded me of her.

You were part of her.

I blamed you for her death.

I did

It took me five years of therapy to work that one out

Three months later

I knew I'’ve made a terrible mistake

but I couldn'’t get you back.

I started doing drag because of your mother.

Julia.

She was the most amazing person I had ever met.

The first time I put on one of her dresses

it was like I had air again.

I felt alive again

The first drag show I did

was called Julia

and I lip-synced to all of her favourite songs.

You see, it'’s all about your mother.

When did you find out?

A few days ago

That explains the vodka.

Indeed

Did he tell you himself?

Not exactly.

Pet, are you testing my fucking patience?

I found the photograph in his flat.

Julia's photograph.

The same photograph I have got in my wallet.

Except it wasn't my photograph.

It was his

I left it with him in the orphanage all these years ago.

And he kept it all these years.

And on the back there was a note.

My mother

This is unbelievable.

This is just unbelievable. Are you sure?

Of course I'm sure.

You know the drag queen with no drag experience

and him wanting to see me as a man.

What'’s the fuck was I thinking?

He is my son Toni

He's my son.

He even did the DNA test to be sure so no doubts now.

I have got to see him.

You will.

There is one more thing..

We had sex.

Twice.

The first time I didn't know.

But the second time I knew

And I loved it.

I wanted it and I needed it.

It was like being with Julia after all these years.

He is a part of her.

Of us.

Oh pet.

And if he wanted to do it again,

I would

Am I a pervert?

Julia.

Oh Alex

I'm so glad they kept your name.

Your mother always wanted you to be called Alex

Like her father

and like his father before him.

Wait

She will explain

I met your mother at the hospital

She was pregnant with you

and I was pregnant with Julia

I had flown from Ireland to have an abortion that morning you see

I was tired

Gosh I will never forget the minute I met your mother.

I was wearing my fur jacket

and she made a joke about me looking so posh in it.

She was so much fun

Oh pet

Meeting your mother changed my life forever.

She was so kind and so nice

we immediately became friends, more like sisters.

We only knew each other for seven months

but the impact she had on my life was and still is enormous.

She was my soul mate

And when they told me she died

I went into labour sooner than expected

I was so traumatised

I couldn't push Julia out of me.

I was aching

All our lives changed for ever

in that moment.

I wanted to keep you.

I tried to keep you but they wouldn't let me.

I wasn't your relative or anything.

Oh Alex

please forgive me.

I didn'’t know how to cope with Julia

so I eventually gave up hope of having you.

And your father,

Gloria

Sam was in a state of shock.

He needed me too.

Thinking about it

still breaks my heart.

Your mother made me keep my Julieta

And yet I never kept you,

her son.

It's been just over a week now.

I tried calling but he doesn'’t answer his phone.

He must be confused. He just needs some time.

Join the club.

I'’m just scared he'’ll reject me after all the drama.

He has been through so much in his life.

Rejection

Scares you for life.

First parents reject their children

and then children reject us, their parents.

Sorry babe.

I wasn'’t thinking.

I'm sorry.

That's okay.

I miss her too you know.

Sorry Kate.

I really am.

I hope we can stay friends.

Okay. Thanks.

Speak later.

We're worried about you.

Your father is worried about you.

Just tell him that I'm okay.

He tried to call you but you aren't picking up your phone.

I didn't feel like talking.

I just didn't know what to say.

This is so nice

I know.

By the way

you did see me before.

I mean as Alex.

I was just so nervous,

you poured me a drink

you even tried to flirt with me.

Then I was just so overwhelmed

and I left half way through the show.

I'm so glad you came back to us Alex.

I have been thinking about love a lot.

Who are we allowed to love?

Interesting question.

Tell me more.

Not much to tell really.

It'’s like

my mind, my mind has gone blank again.

Keep your eyes closed for now.

What can you see?

Hello mumsy.

I thought it was you

Hello darling.

I have never seen you with dark roots before.

What do you think?

I think I quite like it.

Me too.

Well if you need anything, just give me a shout.

See you later.

Ciao Ciao

Hello Julia darling.

It's auntie Gloria.

Just a quick call

to check you'’re okay.

Please give me a call if you need anything.

I love you.

We love you.

Bye.

I saw her in my dream last night.

She was playing the piano and singing

I can'’t remember what she sang

but she was so happy

And then she looked at me and she said

I am finally with you.